All right, so let me tell you a little secret. When you're speaking to a girl, or really anybody for that matter, the words that you're saying, they don't mean shit. I used to get so caught up in my head, worried about what is the perfect opener to tell a girl, and then what do I say after that to transition the conversation so that it doesn't get dull, and I'm afraid that I'm gonna run out of words. I'm so focused on the words.
Bro, can you relate to that? It just gets so exhausting. Unfortunately, or actually. fortunately that's not how it works your aura and the emotions that you create inside of the woman those are the real cheat codes and i know that this word aura it sounds like this kind of feminine concept so let's take a look at this with some brutal logic like men you see when you're having a conversation with someone there's really four different layers it's kind of like a cake the top layer the surface layer those are the words coming out of your mouth They seem important, but really they're relatively insignificant.
Because the second layer of communication, the one just beneath that, is how you communicate those words. So if I'm talking to a girl I just met, I could say, yeah, so, uh, like, what, uh, what are your plans this weekend? And tell me, how is she gonna receive that?
She's gonna be like, this fucking simp, he can't think of anything to say, so he's saying this lame shit. But ready? I could say the exact same words and still create a very different emotion. Cool, so tell me, what plans do you have this weekend? Now the girl might be thinking, damn, what am I doing this weekend?
I can't tell this guy something lame or I'm gonna look like a loser. Now the third layer below your words, below how you say them is your intent. So when you're entering this conversation, what is the goal?
What is the idea that you have in your mind? For most of my life, if I was talking to an attractive girl, it would be like, all right, stay cool. Pretend like you're confident, you know, if you get lucky, she maybe will like you.
And what's that going to lead to? That's going to lead me to communicating in this very simpy, attention-seeking way where I'm always looking for her to kind of approve what I just said. Versus if I go in there and my intent is, this seems like a cool girl, she's attractive, let's see.
You know, maybe I'll ask her out. That mindset, that intent is going to lead to a very different style of communication. And finally, the bottom layer below all of this is your beliefs about yourself. Your beliefs about yourself are going to directly impact your mindset, your intents going into the conversation, and that's going to dictate how you communicate. For most of my life, I would look in the mirror and I would see a man or a boy.
who sure I thought he had potential and he was trying to improve but there was no way that the most attractive girls would choose me over some of these other guys out here. Guys who were taller than me or wealthier or just had more natural charisma and as you can probably see now if that's where your self-beliefs are at it's going to be basically impossible to have that type of aura around women. So with that said in this video I'm going to break down five rules that helped me fix these different issues so I could have that natural effortless aura. around women and real quick before we hop in i want to give you a little bonus hack that will help you instantly boost your aura today because i'm not sure if you heard trying to keep my voice down here but edge lifestyle just released their new fall collection and these clothes instant plus 100 aura points The new shadow tee, the one I'm wearing right now, just dropped. And this is the perfect fall t-shirt for men.
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They will sell out quick. Just go to edgelifestyle.com or click the first link in description to take your fall outfits to the next level. All right, let's get it. Number one, interest versus disinterest.
So I want you to imagine a spectrum behind me here on the screen. On the far end of the spectrum over here is showing extreme interest in a girl. Over here, Here on the far end is showing zero interest in a girl. Disinterest. And I've made this mistake countless times myself.
I think it's probably the most common mistake men make with women. We tend to navigate to one end of the extreme or to the other. Because if you never show interest in a girl, it's impossible for anything to happen between you two. But if you're showing extreme interest, that means you're being needy and simpy.
And obviously that makes her lose attraction from the get-go. The fix here, which is super- Super easy to implement once you understand this concept is to alternate between interest and disinterest. Go back and forth. So let's say I'm at a party and I spot a girl that I'm interested in. Well, I'm going to go approach her and talk to her.
That shows interest. But after a couple of minutes, I'm probably going to be like, anyway, it's nice to meet you. You know, I'm going to run back and talk to my friends and leave her for a little bit, showing disinterest.
If I'm texting a girl, I'm quickly going to move to set up the date. After two or three messages, I'm going to say, so are you free Wednesday or Thursday night? Like I'm not going to blow her up with 10 text messages before that.
That's showing way too much interest. Or maybe we have a date scheduled for the day after tomorrow, but the girl's texting me. Hey, how's your day going? I'm not going to answer that shit, bro. I'm going to show a little disinterest.
Maybe five hours later, just be like, I was a bit busy. How about you? This is like magic with women because it is a control. It's a rule that.
prevents you from coming across as too needy. And a lot of guys are like, yeah, but why does it matter? Why can't I just tell her I like her? This is why it matters.
Men, we tend to select women based on solely their attractiveness and their appearance. For women, it's different. They tend to select men based on if they believe that other women are also interested in that man. And when you show too much interest, you're blowing her up with text messages.
In her mind, she understands this as, wow, he's really excited to meet up with me. He must have no other options. Number two, vocal. Control.
So you remember that second layer of conversation? How you say things? This is how you fix that. And one way to look at this is that even if I tell a terrible, terrible joke, the least funny joke of all time, if I say it with the right vocal control, other people in the same room as me should still laugh.
So let's say I'm at the gym and there's an attractive girl next to me doing some booty exercises and I start a conversation with her. I could say, you know what? You seem...
like the type of girl who whenever you're at home scrolling through instagram and you see some wild new booty exercise you drop everything that you're doing and show up to the gym to try it out i mean that's a little bit funny but it's a pretty shitty joke however if i deliver it like that i guarantee you she's gonna at least chuckle a little bit versus if i say you know what you seem like the type of girl that like you let's say you're at home on your instagram account and like a new booty exercise pops up, you probably put your phone down and come right to the gym. The girl's gonna be like, what the fuck is this creepy guy doing talking about my booty? And what's even more important than speaking slowly, which is a whole lot better than speaking really fast, like sometimes we do when we're nervous and that makes you seem even more nervous. And this is also a whole lot more important than speaking with a deep voice.
Because if you speak with a high-pitched voice, you sound like a little bitch. But what's more important than any of that is speaking with... conviction and saying things like you actually fucking believe it.
I told that joke like I knew it was going to be funny. Or a couple of weeks ago, I was doing a call with the Beast Nation guys. And one of them was telling me a story about this girl that he met.
And I wasn't really following the story. So I was like, hey, bro, can you start from the beginning? And he was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I messed up telling you the story. I'm so sorry.
And I was like, first of all, bro, don't apologize for telling the story wrong. Second of all. I can basically guarantee this is what you're doing wrong with girls. So I want you to tell me the story again, but I want you to tell it with conviction, like you actually fucking believe it. And to his credit, with just that one piece of feedback, he told me that story like a G.
Start speaking with conviction and witness how everyone you're talking to receives your words in a much more powerful way. Number three, slapped in the street. So a few months back, Andrew Tate and Ben Shapiro were going back and forth at each other.
And even if you're a fan of Ben Shapiro, I think you'll still understand the meaning of what I'm about to tell you. So Tate was doing this interview, I think it was with Piers Morgan, and he says, a man who's so small he would die if he was slapped on the streets. Ben is the type of guy who if he got slapped in the face in the street, he will fall over and die.
And I thought it was a good joke, I laughed. He said it with conviction. But the point he was making is that Ben just looks like the type of guy who's afraid of any type of violence. And this is something that all of us subconsciously realize when we're talking to any other man. Based on how he holds eye contact, you either know that he's the type of guy who's afraid of conflict and will do anything to avoid it, or the type of guy who's experienced some violence and some danger in his past.
And for women, this is key. They want to be with the type of guy that they feel like they could walk into a restaurant with. and they have a badass on their side that could protect them if some shit went down. Like if a girl's talking to you and she thinks, hey, if I was with this guy and something happened, I might have to defend him. Man, that's bad.
You don't want her to think that. So what I did, because I used to be a little bitch myself, is first I trained martial arts. I did Muay Thai for a few years. I sparred and trained.
But even more recently, a couple years ago, I challenged myself to learn how to backflip. And of course, I didn't just go out on some concrete and... throw a backflip might break my neck.
I went to a gymnastics gym and I learned step by step how to pull that off. Or even the wake surfing I've been doing recently, repeatedly falling on my face trying to learn tricks. This is the only way to train that fear out of you. And if as I'm saying this, you're feeling some resistance, like that seems like a waste of time.
I'm just trying to get some girls, David. I don't need to go like learn how to fight. If you're feeling that resistance, well, chances are, bro, I'm talking about you.
Number four is not even about the female. So do you remember what the bottom layer of communication is? It's your beliefs about yourself. That dictates everything.
And the biggest mistake men make when they want to improve their dating lives is that they focus exclusively on their dating lives. I used to truly believe that if I just knew the right opener for different situations, that I'd be able to get super hot girls. I just needed to know the right words to say. Now, as we've already explored in this video, obviously that's complete bullshit. And the funny thing is, nothing actually changed in my dating life until I improved other areas of my life.
For example, when I first started training seriously in the gym, lifting weights, it was exactly three months after that that I lost my virginity. And it was not a coincidence. You see, because as I was starting to see those changes in the mirror and experience that growth, that started to change the beliefs that I had about myself.
I was addressing the bottom layer. of communication. And a couple years later, when I finally swallowed the pill and accepted that maybe I should improve my style instead of just wearing the same clothes that I've been comfortable wearing for the last few years, well now I would look in the mirror before I went out and I'd be like, damn, I can actually pull this outfit off.
I look good. And that's right at the time that I started consistently being able to pull girls back home from days. So look, if you're still telling yourself the story that the rest of my life is okay, it's all good, I just need to improve my dating life, I just need to improve with women, I can tell you...
100% that that's not accurate. That is not the case. I promise you that if you start to improve in other areas, that will change the beliefs you have about yourself and your dating life will immediately start to feel way easier.
Of course, you're still going to have to put yourself out there and take chances with girls and get rejected. That part never stops, but your aura will be much different and that will unlock a much higher tier of woman. And number five, destroy.
the status quo. So throughout this video, we've addressed how you correct each of these different layers of communication, all of them except for one, all of them except for your intent, for the mindset that you're going into the interaction with. And luckily, this one is very simple because the amazing thing about dating is that it doesn't matter where you meet a girl, what type of girl she is, it always follows the exact same five steps.
Step one, you have to start a conversation with her. Step two, you have to express interest and ask her out. Step three, you have to set up the logistics of the date.
Step four, you have to escalate physically on the date. And step five, you have to continue to see her again after that. And once I finally understood that these were the steps, you see, I'm a very logical thinker and I analyze things a lot. And once I understood these are always going to be the steps, everything else got easier. At that point, I completely fixed my intents because I understood if I'm on step one, then my objective right now is to get to step two.
If I'm on step two, my objective is to get to step three. No longer was I just wandering into these conversations with girls hoping that she would like me. No, fuck that.
If I was talking to a girl, I knew that I had to ask her out. That was my intent. If I was on a date with a girl, I knew that I had to escalate physically. That was my intent. The moment you do not escalate to the next level, the moment that you just maintain the status quo is the moment that's the...
connection between you and the girl loses all romantic excitement. If you're texting a girl and you don't schedule the date, it's going to fizzle out. If you show up on the date with a girl and you do not physically escalate, you don't even try and go for the kiss, well, I guarantee you, you're not going to get a second date.
It's just going to feel a bit bland. And a lot of guys struggle because they think, yeah, but if I make the move, then I might lose the girl. The simple mental framework to fix this is, look, I would rather lose the girl and move on with my life than feel like a little bitch who's going to fall into the friend zone with a girl. It's that simple.
If I'm talking to a girl, I'm going to ask her, do you want to hang out sometime? Because if she says no or that she has a boyfriend, okay, that's fine. I can move on with my life. versus talking to her and not asking her out.
And then I go home and I'm like, oh my God, maybe I should have asked her out. Maybe I'll ask her out next time. Do not make that mistake.
And do not make the mistake of not leveling up your fall outfits with the new Edge Lifestyle Collection, bro. Come on. Now look, I understand that a lot of y'all are introverts like myself and this just doesn't come naturally to you.
And that's why you need to watch this video next. It is about how to be silently attractive. 12. cheat codes for introverts.
Click there to watch that now, and I will talk to you in the next video. Stay beastly.