[Music] hey it's a lot of respect that I require around my home vice versa I'll be the one to take the risk to go on getting them bands okay [Music] [Music] welcome back to another episode I'm dude I'm Omar I'm jalon and this is another episode of the number one podcast in all of Los Angeles nice and neat my brothers what's going on how y'all doing today man what's the Dilly bro oh man just trying to survive in this heat it's hot it's hot bro it's hot it ain't that southern heat but we got that Southern California heat it's hot the sun is out it's hot you know it's blue skies out here ain't nowhere to hide from it the sun is borderline disrespectful borderline hey look hey look so that's actually gonna lead us right into our episode um we I want to kind of talk about disrespect like how do you guys handle disrespect what does disrespect actually look like to you and how do you make it as objective rather than subjective as possible to where you can give somebody an example of the situation and they can look at it and be like nah that was disrespectful are we talking about disrespect inside your relationship or disrespect from anyone in general I'm glad you asked this is our show so I want you to give me examples for both um or stories okay we like story time around here too how do I feel about disrespect I think I feel the same way most people feel about disrespect we don't want to be disrespected um how do I handle it now I can admit that I'm a pretty I think I'm a pretty emotional intelligent person I think I'm pretty emotionally mature person right I regulate my emotions in the good like just I have control over my emotions but we all have flaws and I can say that I don't handle disrespect well right I know most people say they don't handle disrespect well but when I say that man I can be this composed person I can be this articulate person and I can communicate properly but a lot of times in my experience when I am disrespected all that gets thrown out the window right and I kind of just go into um disrespect back right it's it's my relationship right it doesn't happen often but I can recall moments in my relationship where not that it was intentional but my woman may have disrespected me you know what I'm saying and I think everyone has gone through a moment where they felt disresponding you could like go through relationships without feeling like that it's not it's not um it doesn't represent your entire relationship but people have weak points right and I feel like in my experience my woman is disrespecting me before I think it was unintentional she was emotional and my immediate reaction was okay disrespect back right and I think a lot of people look at our show and they think like me you guys are nice and neat and you guys know all the right things to say to a woman and you know where can I find men like you but like nah my thing was okay you disrespect me I disrespect you you say [ __ ] me I say [ __ ] you that that was kind of I wasn't mature enough to not do that yeah you know what I'm saying and I I was always of the mindset right and I know this is not good always on the mindset it's like hey yo I'ma make you cry before you make me cry right you gonna cry before me right so I'm gonna say whatever anything if you come at me with something hurtful I'm gonna come at you with something three times as hurtful right and I'm willing to go there until we until you stop right that I've been that person you know what I'm saying and that's how I dealt with disrespect um so yeah that's kind of my you know it's different now sometimes like I've learned to just kind of let it let things be right um but yeah I've definitely had that experience with disrespect for sure yeah I think we all have um my feelings towards being disrespected is just like just like Duke said you know I don't like it I don't agree with it um I more so come from the perspective of you know I wouldn't disrespect you so please don't disrespect me please please don't disrespect me um he he touched on you know you know the dynamic between him and his woman and I talk I'll talk about the dynamic between me and just another male um for me to feel disrespected in that situation or times when I have felt disrespected it's almost when like the the circumstances got physical like a man can't really say too much to me to make me feel disrespected and if he does for me luckily I've been able to make the right decisions you know what I mean I don't unless someone unless I start to feel threatened that's when I truly start to feel disrespected and I don't know how I just connected being threatened and feeling disrespected to the same but you know um I think just like do pretty sure like yourself like a lot of men listening and watching once you feel that disrespect you're gonna meet it you know with that same type of resistance um and it's It's tricky because it's like now he's being disrespectful I'm being disrespectful but really I'm being spiteful you know what I mean and I'm turning that disrespect into something completely different um but it's something that I think you got to be evenly provoked or thought-provoking like with evil thoughts to even think about disrespecting someone to think about doing something that would actually hurt yourself and putting that onto someone else um I think you got to be in a very very interesting place a dark place like I don't I don't I've never heard anyone say yo Duke disrespecting me I never heard anyone say yo jalon disrespected me you know what I mean so I don't I and I don't I find it rare that anyone will say that disrespecting me yeah about myself too you know what I mean and I think you just got to be in a different type of place to actually bring that to the Forefront for you or for someone else um but I don't receive it lightly I don't take it lightly um and I'm gonna ask you guys do you guys look at disrespect um with intent is is disrespect something that has to be intentional that they're that somebody's deliberately doing or can someone accidentally be disrespectful to you if someone that someone doesn't know you doesn't understand them you know the totality of jalon yeah they could disrespect you but I think more so that probably come from someone you know because they know right they know right they know what you believe in they know what you think they know they know how you feel so you know I think that you know it is intentional it is some intent it's a lot of intention behind being disrespectful you actually think about that [ __ ] man it's not it's not a regular thought to disrespect someone so it's it's got to be some intention behind it absolutely like to to disrespect somebody is like hey yo I'm actually intentionally trying to hurt you or hurt your feelings or belittle you or make you feel small right knowing I know who you are knowing I know you take pride in who you are no one I know you take pride in conducting yourself a certain way I'm gonna dismiss all that and I'm gonna treat you this way right that's disrespect if I don't know you and we don't have no decorum of how I should be treated and you don't understand like um language and tone and all these things because we just don't have that relationship it's hard to gauge disrespect a lot of people that feel disrespected on social media if I say something you know what I'm saying there's a lot there's a lot of guys that was feels hey yo um you run this you're running real slow and you need to run faster you're running slow right now people will say that's respect but like that's just a fact right like [ __ ] like that so like I don't consider everything every ounce of criticism criticism is not necessary not at all right disrespect is intentionally trying to like belittle me and um just make me feel small and just like you know bring me some type of emotional physical harm knowing that you know I'm against that you know I'm saying that's what that's how I feel about it so with you saying it has to be something that's intentional you don't think you can be a bystander to disrespect what do you mean um so for example both of you guys have women fiances fiances well if you guys have fiances let's say somebody doesn't know that this is your person right and they kind of just stand in let's say you guys are out in an event somewhere and somebody doesn't know that it's your person and they kind of grab her right you're going to feel disrespected correct but they don't know you you know and that was an Impulse that came over you in order to act in that space so in being a bystander in disrespect that isn't intentional it's not intentional it's not mm-hmm yeah I don't think I don't think that's necessary and I really don't think that's disrespect okay I was gonna I don't think that's upset because because like um let's say I was across the room or some somewhere and I wasn't with my woman I saw a [ __ ] try to talk to her right I would have a jealousy about me then I go over it and intervene and be like nah this is my woman you can't talk to her right something like that right that's not disrespect because you know he don't know but I still have that same feeling though I can still have the same feeling because there's a feeling of jealousy or full of protection but that's not disrespectful but it's not that's not disrespectful so yeah so feeling disrespected is different it's different than actually being disrespected well I'm saying that the feeling the feeling disrespected doesn't even apply to that situation right but I could still have a emotional reaction to that action because I'm protective of my woman with my fiance even if it's not disrespect I would never block oh he tried to disrespect me but I tell you what though you were still you a guy would try to get at your woman right and you understand that okay my woman is a beautiful woman this guy's probably single we're in this place where men try to get at women right you will understand these things and I bet though I bet your energy would change towards him because he tried to get out your woman yeah even though even though it had nothing to do with you I bet your energy changes towards him I bet it's not like yo what's up bro like this it's all good like nah nah you try to get up my woman regardless if if it's um you know innocent or not like that's just the energy I come with so in that case it's all about protection and just like yeah this is you know I'm territorial by my woman yeah so let's let's break down the difference between uh feeling disrespected because I think it's safe to say feeling disrespected will operate more in a subjective part of disrespect right okay feeling disrespected and actually being disrespected what are the difference in those two actually being disrespected someone knows all the parameters they know you in and out they don't know you in and out but they know you well enough to know that hey if I make um if I lash out at jalon or if I make a pass at his woman or um I don't know if if I leave trash at his business you know what I mean like that's just to me that's that goal is classified as being disrespectful like okay you know what I mean um I don't think the other what was it uh feeling disrespected feeling disrespected it's like feelings are involved that's that's the root of it bro like your feelings aren't reality it's a lot of what's going on internally in your head so like it's all what's going on inside of your head so I could feel disrespected just because of something that happened in the past something that triggered me that doesn't mean that you decided to disrespect me right so am I making sense yeah come on I'm tracking I'm tracking you I'm tracking you yeah um so like this right I keep it simple right now feeling disrespected is always trying to talk right now all right all got something to say right this is our platform but I'm just talking to you because I got I used to getting my stuff off right and I'm just ignoring what he's talking about even though even though he got something to say I don't know that but all I'm doing is talking to you he may say like damn dog you intentionally not letting me speak right you know I'm right here you know I'm part of this conversation but you're not letting me get a word in so he could feel disrespectful he could he could feel disrespected if he sentences that like hey yo I'm a part of this and I'm not getting I'm not allowed to speak which means that this [ __ ] is probably thinking really small of me right the feeling of me actually disrespecting him is me seeing he about to speak and cutting them off intentionally because I don't give a [ __ ] what you want to say so they say what if that's the story he creates in his head that's valid though but we're talking about filling right right because I mean I think even in being disrespected feeling is involved heavily correct so like you can't eat whether you feel disrespected or you or you disrespected feeling is definitely involved that's what I'm trying to say So like um the first the the first example I got I gave that's why I would consider feeling disrespected but if he says and if he calls to me and says yo I felt disrespectful about what she was doing oh my bad bro I apologize that's what I was going to say too my bad bro I didn't even mean that so he could he could feel that but I can't say my bad bro I didn't mean to when it's known if I see him now cutting him off I'm cutting them off my bad bro nah you disrespecting me I know you disrespecting me that's a difference I I think what's important too in that situation for if I'm if I am feeling disrespected is to address it too like we can't feel disrespected and just deal with that internally and not let the other person know like I gotta I gotta make it very clear hey bro that right there is crossing the line with me you know what I mean I gotta let it be known so clearly it's it must be clear it must be clear you don't understand or we haven't created the boundary of what disrespect looks like in our relationship so I got to step up and say something because I I don't think any of us should tolerate with disrespect and again that person may not feel if they're doing it you know what I mean and they have to be aware so you I feel like if we are feeling disrespected if we are disrespected in a moment you gotta and it's tough too because when you feel disrespected your feelings are involved now your emotions are are raging right so you may not be thinking as clearly right but if you could take a second and then address it I think that [ __ ] is important because both people got to know like where we stand in terms of disrespect all right let's turn it up a little bit right because me the way I look at disrespect if it's if it's blatant like that truth be told me I I do meet disrespect with spite I do right but that's why I'm very very cautious and what I call disrespect I'm not as evolved as I would like to be in that space so I'm very very cautious on what I call disrespect and what I don't so it's a lot of things that may happen that somebody feel like that I should get my feathers ruffled up for that it's just like nah I'm not gonna let that affect me right like just like an example this is a hypothetical example that's not something that happened if you have a house and you just like hey yo when you walk in my house I want you to take off your shoes right let's say something I thought you was joking they walked in they come they sit on your couch and you know they don't take off their shoes all right like wow this Fool's wallet right I'm like a if I see it twice it's disrespect kind of guy not always the first time right so now but when I say if I see it twice it's now in my hands and I can handle it however I want to now so now you come to my house and I see you got shoes on as soon as I get an opportunity to make sure I can dispose of these shoes I'm gonna do it nah you see you see why that you would have addressed it though before that no you wouldn't have addressed it when he was sitting on the couch we address it right we address it and you I'm saying the the understanding of it twice is like hey yo take off your shoes cool you sit down I address it and you don't it's like okay cool cool you you you not listening so therefore I need to show you that I don't tolerate that at all like not one bit and that is a very very spiteful way of going about things but that's why I don't classify this is an example though this is an example yeah so so in that case this is an example what you basically saying is like hey yo if you disrespect me by coming to my house I'm gonna take it further to you I'm gonna throw your shoes out yeah I'm gonna tell you so you can really really understand like hey yo okay he don't play with that yeah he don't play with that and you can't say oh you took it too far because I gave you two chances that's why I like I don't classify anything that could be potentially subjective as disrespect if I say something was disrespectful people were like oh he was tripping I tell somebody that's third but I wouldn't even let him do it the second time that's how that's how understanding of disrespect I truly am so it's like something can't be almost disrespectful to me and I consider it disrespectful right like I'm I use the example specifically to see if you consider a dude hollering at your chick that's disrespectful it's not it's not it's not and I'm glad you guys said that it's not it's not nice it could conjure up a feeling but it's not disrespectful and I think a lot of people honestly what I wanted to get to was I feel like a lot of people use the word disrespect out of context uh a lot of times because something made them feel a certain type of way or something made them feel uncomfortable they would say that was disrespectful yeah and that's not that's not that's not how you classify disrespect right you guys you guys you guys tracking me so like go ahead so like I don't classify if somebody is if I'm like a bystander like of of disrespect right which I do think is possible you can be a bystander of disrespect but if I'm a bystander of disrespect I have to I have to confront it and understand that this was something that was intentional right so like I'm I'm all fresh out of examples right now no I got you but like I I I would have to see that this is disrespectful and the person would have to know that this is disrespectful as well right because what's being communicated right so like yo if he talks to my girl it's not disrespectful unless he knows that this is my girl correct he didn't know it was low-key respectful yo if he knows that this is my girl right then he's trying to disrespect me in my relationship that's disrespectful that's completely different you know what I mean and I think that when you are on like when when you agree on something and you go against what you agreed on that's when it really becomes disrespectful you know what I'm saying like hey yo we like we know that um you can't call a man a [ __ ] don't call a man a [ __ ] if you call a man a [ __ ] you can't be like I just I that's that's my play Word you can't do that why are we so why are we so uh moved by the word well no that's that's the conversation we can have but I'm just giving an example I got you if you call it man [ __ ] [ __ ] whatever the case may be yeah yeah like if you call me if you call me Omar and you know I don't want to be called Omar and you're being funny and you're being funny right we understand that so like it doesn't matter what the word is it's just that we um are in unison about what's what I don't like yeah or what's not acceptable for me right and we've agreed on that because of either uh we communicate it or either we just spent enough time around each other to understand that you understand we've seen each other habits yeah we talked about different situations and we understand so anytime you go against that I'm gonna consider that disrespectful right so like especially in my relationship right we talk to your woman it's like hey yo here's a couple of things that I do not play with right I'm not negotiating with this right you know I don't like being talked to this way you cannot speak to me in this type of tone you can't call me this you can't do x y z blah blah blah right okay those things are laid out okay babe what do you what's what are some things to disrespectful to you yo I don't want you to flirting with women I don't want you to do this these are things that we've laid out and we understand right very very clear-cut black and white so when we go outside of that when we when we do something yeah so so like when we go outside of there or we do one of those things that we've both disclosed to each other that we do not play with that is being disrespectful yeah even if the even if it's one time yeah we because because it's there it's clear now so now the problem with for me again right is that yo disrespect most of the time like what can be but if disrespect is one of those things that I've talked about then it's not an accident right if it's one of those things we made clear and you disrespect it's not an actual it was intense it's not an accident it's intentional now if it's when it's intentional then I go there right and see you're saying like your partner could only disrespect you um if there's something new that pops up like my partner can never disrespect me but but if she if my partner can he's not saying like has the ability to he's saying it's not acceptable but like what I'm saying is that yo if there is something that we've never talked about and then she does something I can't assume I can't I can't say that just can't quantify that as a respect yeah that's subjective because now now it's just assumption and it's subjective and we never even discussed it right we can use that as a as a as a foundation to discuss and put that in the black and white you know Circle whatever but until that happens I could feel a type of way though if I feel offended yeah it's two different things right offended and disrespect I could feel uneasy I could feel bothered I like right I like that feeling offended and disrespected is two different things I could feel bothered but it's not disrespect because we didn't have that discussion right until we had a discussion and then you step outside of that that's when there's disrespect so how do we navigate when we are disrespected by our partner yes so go ahead bro I think even in that how do we navigate the difference between creating a conversation off of being offensive or being or being disrespected like how do we make the safe space to be like hey that was offensive to me right and then now I want to put that in the disrespectful bucket yeah yes like how do we effectively do that because sometimes it's not always in the moment no sometimes you got to take you take a second you gotta think you're like yo that hey yo I had to sit with that for a second yeah I actually felt really disrespected by that correct and that [ __ ] actually though I doubt it was in line with well you felt offended by that excuse me I felt offended by that I felt defended by that and I think we need to talk about about this because that and that's good though that's good because you create black you create boundaries right so and you give people um directional how to behave you know what I mean so like when something happens and you say Hey listen because this is how this is how it should sound when you're offended hey babe look I don't know if you made it like this but I didn't like that mm-hmm right and that rubbed me the wrong way yeah or offended me or bother me or I felt some type of way about whatever the case maybe however you want to slice it right but you make that known and you know I really don't like that do you understand where I'm coming from oh yeah oh I never I even know you saw it like that well yeah I like like so could you never do it again oh yeah I won't do it again because I don't like that all right it's not disrespected so now I've introduced something that now now I've made it clear and known that hey yo this thing that you've done that you did offends me I don't like it we're understood we confirmed we're confirmed confirmed that we I don't like it you understand do you do you understand why I don't like it we're confirmed all right so therefore moving forward that shouldn't happen again if it happens again it's because you're you're being intentional about it now yeah right which then is disrespect right just now I'm liable to respond as I'm being disrespected you know what I'm saying because I can't just like now now I'm not going to bring it back to you and say oh Baby that offended me again because you don't learn no lesson you don't learn nothing like that so now just my inclination is like nah listen hey are you [ __ ] stupid you know what I'm saying like somebody's talking like that now I'm talking like that like hey yo like I told you don't don't do that again right so now we're doing the back and forth thing and it could just go somewhere else you know what I mean but I think that to get to prevent us to get into that point like you said when it happens address it address it but again it may not it may not be in the moment it may not be in the moment because some again like sometimes you gotta you got to take that and sit with what what's happened what transpired what was said yeah you know what I mean and um sometimes because also two in the moment your emotions could be hot and you won't say the right thing yeah don't say something disrespectful yeah and also like sometimes sometimes to to go deeper right sometimes being offended and and being bothered by something is different too you know what I mean because like just because you bother by it don't mean it's offended offended you may just not like something yeah right I don't really address things that like just bothered me because when I think about things that bother me I think about yo is this bad for us if it's not bad for us and it's just making me feel the type of way then like I probably could forget about that I probably won't think about it but the things I address when you offend me I'm thinking oh no this is bad for us because I don't like the way this makes me feel which could be bad for us in the longer run so let me let me just uh let me address this because I feel like this can have an impact on us if there's something that's just bothering me that's small it's like yo like I don't really like the way you um you know I don't really like you leaving the dishes in the scene things like that that's not going to impact us I could say something about it but it's not going to be no big deal right but things that offend me yes you know I think it's a it's a space of comparison that I think is really dangerous when you think about disrespect because I think people's first thing to think about is I would never do that to you so that was disrespectful and like I know in my relationship we've had to have conversations like hey yo if you always compare what you will and will not do to somebody nobody will ever be good enough for you because it's you the barometer is you so if I say hey yo Duke I wouldn't do this so therefore because I wouldn't do it you doing it makes it disrespectful to me I'm not even giving you the space to like communicate why I think that is like why why you think it's not disrespectful or why you even made the action so like to compare a dude walking right a dude walking and um this is a great example you ever you ever you've you've been to Asia before yes yeah you've been Asia before right um the amount of space that we give you in America what's the difference in the amount of space they give you in Asia what do you mean space Oh it's like bodily space it's literal space oh they're more on top of you exactly right we would consider that disrespect here because it's a it's a AO you know better like don't be on your space now if you go over there and you carry that same exact demeanor off like yo I don't be on you like that why so why y'all me I don't think that's fair and I think those are the things that we do a lot of times especially in our relationship to where we consider our partners being disrespectful instead of just having a conversation on how something made us feel you know like I I have conversations all the time with Brittany about using our I statements like yo rather than you creating a declaration of who I am tell me how you feel hey I felt this way in this situation rather than Duke you're selfish July and you're selfish like nah what did I do to make you feel so like that I was like you know I was tired today and I would have really appreciated if you wash the dishes and I was tired today rather than yo you're selfish for not washing the dishes right you didn't even explain to me how you were feeling and I didn't know you throwing that on me exactly right but that's what the underlying and understanding that we use comparisons in order to make our point I would have washed the dishes if I was feeling this way I didn't know he was feeling that way I had no idea we also aren't the same people and that's what I'm saying using comparisons is is definitely dangerous when you're creating what is disrespectful and what's not disrespectful that's why me personally it takes so long for me to get to a space of this person disrespected me because I have to observe this I have to be able to make sense of it and know that you are very cognitive and aware of what you're doing even to a point of me using an example yo somebody walked in my house and they didn't kick their shoes off and I had to remind them and it's like oh my bad I wouldn't then turn my back and be like man you know better to have shoes on my house like nah I could have just slipped your mind I don't know what kind of day you had I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know if you take off your shoes at your house so this might be something that's completely outside of your wheelhouse so it is my duty to have that conversation or to even remind you or let you know I feel like we get into a space of you should know rather than hey yo like let me see like where are they at that's why I really look at this respect is yo you know you know where we at with it yep it can't be any yo you should know better and I feel like if you're around people who you feel like should know better that's not doing it then you're gonna have to and they're not doing it then you just gotta Elevate the person that you're around that's just that simple yeah right so I'll give you an example right I am I um it was my birthday my birthday you were in season Omar you was home no no no all you guys were in season excuse me you guys were in season so like y'all wasn't there right this is not I go out it's my birthday I get lit right one of my partners that's there I tell them like hey bro I need you to make sure I get home I'm sober enough to tell them this I need you to make sure I get home right he's like all right for sure next thing I know I'll get into the Uber a blackout I wake up it's two o'clock in the morning and I'm on the street right and I'm just like yo like what happened didn't have the time to sit down and like figure out what happened I just made sure I got home my phone was on three percent so I was like let me go ahead and call the Uber so I can get home right get home I wake up in the morning I'll call Bro Dog why don't you make sure I get home he said I did I said nah I asked you if you could take me home like I'm I was lit and I came to you and asked you if you could get me home because I called you Uber right he was like I feel like I did everything that I could and I sat there and I thought about it for a second after we got off of the phone because it wasn't enough for me and I was like you know what July if that wasn't enough for you and it was enough for him you just can't be in that situation with a person that's like that plain and simple moving forward I told all this story right we go out one day we get LED I'm lit I was in that level of lit but I'm lit but oh oh knows how I felt about this story we ride all the way to my house he like yo you good cool I get out go upstairs he goes home I gave him a call the next day I was like yo I appreciate that right him knowing the story him understanding how I felt about that in that space now if he did the same exact thing I would then deem that as disrespect because I felt like but he was disrespectful for that right but I also couldn't put the label of disrespect on him because he felt like he did enough so it was just offensive to me but that's good after me and Omar talked Omar understood how I felt we understood where we was at we knew how we was going to move in those situations so like from there I was like oh I just have to make sure I'm in people that are in alignment with what I feel like is disrespectful and what I feel like is is not disrespectful so like that was one of those situations where I'm like I just didn't like that yeah he felt like he did enough I can't make anybody feel like they're doing more than what they're doing outside of their own wheelhouse so like I feel like even the same in in in relationship not necessarily um within your partner but just any relationship you have with somebody if you feel like somebody's doing something disrespectful if every time I come to your house and I got my shoes on I just can't come to your house no more yeah it's just because you're not respecting the house yeah I'm not respecting the house yeah right to you right to me it's like oh man what's the big deal I wear shoes at my house yeah but just like you said you gotta understand where you at you know as you were asking me that story about Asia I'm thinking about damn I've been to Singapore and like doing something as simple as spitting on the floor that you would do here like Hawking a loogie is dumb disrespectful you know what I mean but you don't know you you don't understand but like I've been in South Africa before and running the water like to get in the shower you know what I mean it's like that's what I do here in America I'll turn on the water but you know understanding that that's actually disrespectful you you like you wasting water we don't do that type of thing like but you got to understand if you don't know you don't know you know what I mean so is it disrespectful no but if now that I've known if I do it again of course yeah you're being dumb disrespectful bro you know what I mean you crossing the line so um you definitely got to be aware of where you're at who you're around and you got to respect the rules of of where you at you know what I mean that's it's just that's to me that's like that makes common sense you know I'm just going to respect the house you respect the house everywhere you respect you know everywhere disrespect the house like and that's I just feel like if somebody's saying like nah I'm not going to do that then you're like okay now I can say this is disrespectful yeah hey yo if I call you every time I see hey what up B and you like yo my name is dude yeah I be you're being disrespectful yeah like I don't care disregarding yeah you're disregarding how I feel and we both know what I want to be called right that's why it's just like and even like disrespect has so many layers man so what do you whether you feel disrespected by uh your woman or just someone out in public I think we got to ask ourselves this question before we react is am I being disrespected or am I just offended all right is is it really disrespectful or do I just not like what I'm hearing anymore I'm just bothered by what someone is doing or am I just misinterpreting it the wrong way right that's what we got to ask ourselves because I would admit like I've taken disrespect and I've just reversed it and went somewhere else with it and I don't think like I literally met disrespect with disrespect and took it further and felt worse after I've never felt better about myself you're not gonna feel good disrespecting somebody bro I never felt better about myself I never felt better about myself now like especially not my woman you know you know what I'm saying and um in order for that not to happen yes we got to talk things out yes we got to communicate yes we got to make sure that she doesn't disrespect me so I don't disrespect her but part of it is just like trying to learn how to deal with disrespect in a more mature Manner and saying you know what like you disrespected me I'm gonna come back to you in a little bit right after after my emotions and my ego because a lot of it be my ego most of it most of it most of my ego is like no how could she how she dare disrespect me after all be doing after high be holding it down for her she's gonna disrespect me like that it's ego right so once I get that under control then I'll come back to it say hey yo look this is the last time you're gonna disrespect me I can't do this no more right or and let's talk about that or that needs to change something like that but and I don't I usually a spiteful y'all say a spiteful I don't think it's spiteful I think it's to do something back disrespectful back it's not thinking I think that's tit for attack though I think cool but I think spiteful is like I could be spiteful without being disrespectful you understand what I'm saying like you could get really get at me and you could call me all types of names and I could stay quiet I could stay quiet here we're going you know what I mean I could stay quiet and when we get back to the house wow when we get back to the house life I don't know lock you outside or something yeah I'm like that right you don't have to be you don't have to be disrespectful so but I think you're saying just you could be some disrespect you could be spiteful without being disrespectful you know what I'm saying yeah and I think people don't understand that more though okay I deserve this right but I think disrespect is more more of a nah this person tried to hurt me I'm trying to hurt them now I I have to return it I have to I have to return it because if I don't return it I don't think no one respects like consequence like returning it the same pain that they cause you cause back people don't respect unless you do that people don't respect that I'm not saying that's right I don't believe I'm not saying that's right what you mean you don't believe me I don't believe that I'm gonna be honest with you I've I've actually never met this respect with this you've never met my relationship in your relationship yeah yeah yeah never because I'm I can be a nasty person yeah I can be very very nasty so like me is like I don't even want to play the game because like you open up that can of worms for me it's like um I have to turn off a certain aspect of like who I am or how I care in order to do what don't you agree with I don't agree that meeting disrespect with disrespect is effective understanding of consequences okay so I've actually met disrespect with more love okay to be told so it could be like hey yo like this is how I want to be spoken to like I've been yelled at and it's like hey why why are we speaking to each other like this right now right okay I'm not going to meet you there right like I'm not and that's specifically talking about my partner partner yeah right now if we and if I feel disrespected out and or somebody who who knows me I'll probably meet that with spite but I'm not going to meet it with the same disrespect because I need I need to be a little bit more calculated I don't think you could think as deep as I can when it comes to like okay you disrespected me on the Fly okay cool that you thought you got me in the moment okay cool I'm gonna give you I don't care if I gotta wait this is very spiteful I don't care if I gotta wait 10 years you get in the back I'm gonna get it back getting it back that's why I don't really play with the a he disrespected me right if I say that that means like I'm not in and that's what I'm saying I'm not I'm not as evolved as I want to be in that space I'm not I'm not I wish like but I protect my spirit so much I heard I protect it so much that if I feel disrespected and it penetrates my bubble I just like okay you know what however long it takes for me to like and I know you said it don't make you feel better afterwards I don't agree with that either what don't make it you say it makes you feel better if I'm if I'm gonna go there it makes you feel better if I'm going to go there if I'm going to go there because it's just now it's a partner though no I don't I don't participate in that I don't know okay okay honestly before I meet my partner with the same disrespect that I might have felt I'll I'll have to leave the relationship yeah because it's gonna get ugly yeah like it's just it just it wouldn't be it wouldn't be good for me so like I when it comes to my partner I meet the disrespect that I might have felt really with love or with a mirror of what I would have wanted that situation to look like and I'm not trying to be funny and this is not on a nice and neat [ __ ] either like I'm serious that's really really just like how I meet the situation with my partner because I know how nasty I could be so it's like yeah yeah yeah you meet that at a real really like beautiful place bro because not everyone has the um the patience to kind of meet disrespect with love you know what I mean like it's it's really tough too it's hard it's hard it's hard it's hard to disrespect it bro and and keep composure have some Poise about yourself you know what I mean and and meet it with an opposite reaction honestly for me it's like I think everything has to have a goal I'm a very goal-oriented person right so I don't meet disrespect because I know cool when our children get here like how am I going to approach this like what do I want them to see what do I want them to feel who do I want them to be yeah so it's like I'm not just doing it for me like because me if I get disrespected I just I would walk out of the house and be like I'll come home when I feel like it yeah right that's how I would meet it but it's like you know what I don't want my children to see that so let me get in the position of practicing now and I want to practice so good now that I don't even get disrespected again that's that's where it is for me to where it's like okay cool like she's not she knows that I want July I wanna I want July to meet me here he's never going to meet me here right I tell a golden rule of thumb to every man stay below your girl like no matter what just like stay below her yeah she'll she'll eventually have to come down I don't think you ever go above her because she could always she could always go up octaves like always and it's like yeah you could hurt her more but you guys are gonna be in that space yeah and that's why I said like it never feels good after because like even though even though you may what they say you may wind up win the battle you still lose the wars you still take a hit on like you know what I mean and um and there's certain things when you guys are going at it that you could never get back yeah right right oh yeah right certain lines once you cross that Crossroad you gotta say you can never get back so that's that's the tricky part about it but um you know just being transparent man I've been in that situation before where I was like yo I've been um saying all the right things I've been moving with love I've been you know leading with love leave it leading with just you know warmth and all those things and when you do all those things as a man or as a person right because it can happen the other way around but when you do all those things and then the person that you are with is trying to push you to go somewhere that you know just trying to push your buttons to get you to reacting yeah at some point it's just like all right let's go there yep all right let's go there let's go to one time you know what I mean and it's just like yo it's not fun but it happens it happens and I think that um that's the humanity part about this you know just what we got going on because it ain't all just oh yeah babe like it's gonna be all right or yeah say whatever you want and I'ma just sit here and then I'm gonna rule you back in that ain't I mean that's reality but sometimes it's just not like that and I've been in the I've been on the wrong side of that before you know what I'm saying yeah um you know 99.9 of the time it's like okay everything that we speak about nice and neat is actually implemented but there are times like you're like I just lost it yeah you know what I'm saying like I just I yo hey oh I think I gotta come to the crib yeah we gotta we gotta chop it up yeah come to the crib I gotta get away because I just lost it and um you know it happens man it happens but like I said before man a lot of that is because a lot of that is because I I had to just to really think and another another way to look at it too right because I said yo when you're met with disrespect right I said that yo is it ask yourself is this person disrespecting me or I'm oh am I just offended but then another question to ask is saying another question to ask is Yo is my partner like what's her emotional level right now is she just being emotional is she just going through her cycle and she did she just dealing with um uh family things that she's not telling me there's a lot of things that come into play that we don't even think about we just take it oh she disrespected me you know I'm saying or he disrespected me but a lot of times if we just kind of slow and say all right let me just kind of go through this hierarchy of possibilities right then by the time I even get to oh she is disrespecting me I'm like all right well she's respecting you but like I'm cool now you know what I'm saying by the time I even get there it's just like uh she is disrespecting me but like it took me too long to get here so it's all good you know yeah and I think that'll solve a lot of situations where uh two people are really going there you know going to a place that they can't come back from right in terms of yo this is my person but in terms of like hey yo this is a guy who's trying to get on my girl or a guy who's disrespecting me that's a whole complete different that's a whole complete different situation right you still want to try to exercise restraint but sometimes as a man you got to try to like make your presence felt by standing your ground right and that could be by how you speak to someone that could be by uh your physical presence of how you or that could be about just fighting right it could be by any of those things so like I think that sometimes you know you want to avoid all those things but you always want to be prepared I'm thinking about right now um about being disrespected in public um outside of my relationship by just like another man oh yeah in the relationship I told you I'm pop-up yeah yeah but I'm thinking about outside the relationship and speaking about like us like with the public platform and being public figures you know how hard the decision is you know me in that moment of what to do because it's almost like a lose-lose situation right like you get disrespected right and if you disrespect someone back then it's like yo this dude just lost his his composure like I can't believe he acted like that on the other side of his like damn if you don't do nothing you know what I mean and people see that it's like that he just let people disrespect him they just let him walk over it so it's like how do you how do we how do we navigate through those situations is man and I'm asking honestly like because if someone disrespect me today it's like a little tougher because I gotta think about the bigger picture because if I get disrespectful back and that leads to something physical because the rage in the moment yeah I'm the one who jeopardizing a lot of [ __ ] I'm the one who's gonna end up losing it and you know what I mean yeah I how do we how do we I think it's a tough one too though that's tough very tough one but I think the best thing to do like he said was you can't we can't really control everything but we control for uh we can control a lot where we are what what spaces are we in yeah what circles we're in like who were around right and just try to do our best to make sure that those places were here are things that we control you know so we'll never have to be in a situation but sometimes you may be in that situation and sometimes you could think like hey yo like damn I could lose this or it's to lose lose but then the other thing is Yo someone disrespect you it ain't just about you no more right if they disrespect you they're gonna try your wife they're gonna try your kid yeah man right and you don't want that because yeah so at some point it's just like all right cool it ain't about me I can take it yep all right but I don't want nobody trying me and trying my family because at some point my kid gonna grow up my kid need to be able to my wife need to be secure right and I don't care who you who who you are you can tell your man like hey yo don't fight but you still want to see him like you still want to see him press somebody a little bit you know you just don't want nothing bad to happen yeah yeah I mean um because you're going through the channels of like yo I'm around people who I'm in respectful situations I don't put myself in Wild situations I don't do these things I don't do these things I feel like if it crosses your path truthfully I honestly believe hitting Nets with sledgehammers I truthfully believe that like if you're doing all of those things to make sure it doesn't come across your table and it does bro and and I say that from a space of you won't lose everything because the the the track record shows like nah this dude did everything to stay away from that we got plenty of examples of worse people I've slept people or they done certain things and it's like the brands that they would it's like nah we get why our client did that he was somebody grabbed his wife no way like no no if a brand dropped you for grabbing that wife that brand is is it's the the public shame for that brand is going to be crazy I just feel like if you put yourself in situations constantly bro to be in the the most upright position in your life that you can be and you get disrespected like for example um ironically we're going to talk about Will Smith and slaps not the one most recently but when Will Smith was on the red carpet and he and he was trying to be a good a good celebrity bro shaking people's hands and you know he even was like all right whatever the guy want to hug me and the guy kissed him on his mouth and he backed him he didn't get it he didn't get in trouble for that yeah he'd get in trouble for that because the guy crossed the line yep and then when somebody crosses the line bro and I still feel like he was he was he was nice he was nice about it he was nice about it yeah but like man I I got this from Shannon I believe in hitting that Swiss sledgehammers bro because you set an example for anybody else who ever thought about it just like you're talking about you protecting your wife you're protecting your children you're protecting your legacy this isn't just me anymore so it's like hey yo I went through all these channels to make sure I don't have to do nothing disrespectful and I got disrespected okay we this ends here this is done here today this will happen ever again there's certain people that we could think about that you'd be like nah that person will never get disrespected and it's because of their history nobody try that person nah you're not gonna try certain people so like just like for example once Nipsey slap buddy who grabbed the car it was over like it was like oh okay you don't you know you just you kind of respect them in that space you don't you don't cross over these lines and you don't do certain things you know but like I believe in that you're you're you're a respectful guy bro if you have to do something to make sure you gain your respect it's not going to be out of your ego it won't be like there is a there is a space to where you like yo I need to protect what I built gotta make an example and I got to make an example of this I might get an example of somebody you know I'm not saying go out and look for it no no no no no no no no that's not what you're saying yeah yeah you know like I believe that's a space and I'm sure I'm sure you know as we have children like I'm not going to let somebody in class throw you know paper at the back of my son's head every single day yeah somebody's gonna have to be an example eventually just the the example is yo I'm not the one yep that's I'm not however I hear however that's just the example yeah I'm not gonna look for it but hey if you're looking for for something it ain't over here um but fellas fellas we got something else what else we got anything else I want going once born twice sold two huge long oh let's see let's see this let's see let's see let's see we never read off our phones oh yes we really should we first started reading yeah yeah you should definitely be slow to anger but um I wanted to ask you guys I wanted to ask you guys this was in the notes for me to ask um what type of people do you feel most disrespected by um what type of people do you feel mostly disrespect quick rapid fire probably my loved ones um good I'll probably say um wow I probably say uh because I don't really get I don't feel disrespect too often but every now and again on my mentions I'll see something and I was just like oh this guy's out of pocket user756 it's out of pocket yeah I would say like because I I rarely feel disrespect in real life yeah it doesn't even happen in real life because I think we've done such a good job of just like you know walking in respectful you know States right that that we kind of demand that respect from wherever we at right and I think people kind of receive us that way I've never been I can't remember the last time I've been on my girl somebody came up to me and tried me and tried us or anything like that the only disrespect is not real comes off social media it's not real this is it just comes off social media so like that's it that's probably where it comes from most and even those it'd be crazy silly stuff yeah silly it's not engageable no do you engage when you say you feel disrespected by the family at times you engage are you kind of just like yeah most recently most recently I had a situation um over the over uh Fourth of July well I just I just felt maybe it was like a little underappreciated too like intertwined with disrespectful but yeah I had to address it I had to talk about it because it was bothering me it was bothering me it was when it happened on me like I I to be honest I couldn't do nothing but talk about it like that was the only thing that was going to make me feel better about the situation it's like yeah and that's what I'm saying like you got to address it um you know what I mean you gotta dress because otherwise I'm going to hold on to these feelings and and you're not gonna know why I'm feeling in a certain kind of way and while I'm off you so you gotta address it you know hey so is it is it it's in the sense of like hey yo y'all try me or hey y'all y'all not respecting my time y'all calling me too much y'all disrespecting my time you're disrespecting my time okay yeah I disrespected my time or not having enough respect for my time I got you there you go you know what I mean yeah because I could see how that could be something and taking advantage of it yeah um fellas is there anything else okay so uh fellas um if you're viewing or listening man August 12th uh nice and neat is going to put on a community a building events um where we're going to have uh men sign up and apply come get some breath work with us uh do some movement slash working out and just build some fellowship you know what I mean just talk sit down and talk have an open discussion dialogue amongst fellas you know what I mean I feel like we need more safe spaces and we want to be uh one of the the leaders in providing that safe space for our community so uh August 12th is going to be a dope event free it's free it's free and you'll sign up all you guys got to do is sign up all you guys got to do is sign we'll drop all the information that you guys need in the description below and I guess we'll add it in the description on on the Pod so anybody who's just listening could grab that as well um did I miss anything on that y'all um light workout right yep fireside chat which means we get to have conversations and talk to you guys about our personal stories give you guys insights um get to know you guys uh allow you guys to network with other men talk to other men about their experiences that you could use to implement in your life uh we're gonna have food there like old saying breath work and it's just gonna be an overall I'm gonna get to walk us through one of those meditations you do every morning so it's going to be an overall um just Community Building event for men so Ladies sorry you can't come nah but no fellas need this one all right um but with that said man really appreciate you guys for watching and listening make sure you are subscribed to us on all streaming platforms um that's Spotify Apple music uh YouTube make sure you're following us on all social networks we also we're also on thread right now all right we're on threads or threads threads threads yes at nice and neat the podcast um on on Instagram Tick Tock as well follow myself on Instagram at Duke julon just.jalon and Omar Omar Bowden um make sure you guys drop a comment let us know what you thought about this episode what was your favorite part would you take away and uh and yeah show some love one last thing you know just a quick little check in for our our viewers um you know as we look at the analytics and data which we tend to do from time to time you know I see 51 of y'all are not subscribes it costs costs you nothing to just hit the button and it allow us to grow and flourish and what makes us just more excited to deliver more powerful and impactful content so um yeah if you watching this and you're not subscribed please hit that button below and uh yeah that's it I'm Duke I'm Omar I'm jalon and this is another episode of nice and neat and that's that's [Music] behind yeah