Transcript for:
Joe Rogan Podcast: Train by Day, Joe Rogan Podcast by Night, All Day

Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day are they up we okay let's go they have a real like uh Estonia yeah so like the comics there it's called humor kbby I think and every show done in Estonia is only produced by these Comics so no one gets a piece of it besides comedians oh yeah so they've like totally collectivized comedy in Estonia oh so they sort of developed their own scene just the comic St so there was no comedy club that was available and they kind of created something I well Estonia has been a country since like 1994 you know so it's like all brand new and I think Free Speech was just legalized like you know last year or whatever and they brought me over so but the crowds bro I did a show in the college town there and I was like I watched the first two Comics Ari very funny not getting big laughs so I went out there and tried to like attack all this crowd and at one point I was like where do you work ma'am and she went no that was the amount that they wanted to connect and like they don't laugh audibly and but afterwards I'm out there selling merch and they're all like that was a pleasure it was the time of my life thank you it's like okay well in America typically we smile at least if we're having the time of our life it was like someone's going to throw a rock at them if they made any noise wow yeah they're probably Shell Shocked oh for sure yeah oh you got to imagine but Ari's like Ari Maddie who we were talking about who is very very funny is such a joyful guy silly yeah like how did he come out of there well I think he's just happy to be out of there like it just turned him it turned him who into who he is now yeah it's like in the Great Escape when he sees sunlight and all he can do is smile yeah yeah yeah it's it's interesting when you see someone who's really talented that comes out of a place that doesn't have any history of it yeah you know well they going to create their own uh so they got to figure out how to do stand up and I think that can do stand up in like three different languages wow so what is Estonian what do they speak I think Estonian oh they have their own language I think so but they've only been a country since '94 right well so they they were a country and then Russia came in and they weren't a country and then Russia left and then they were a country and then Russia came back I think and then they were a country after that so they just have this like history of having a boot on their neck for years and years um so I think he he can do Estonian and then I think he can do Russian and English wow yeah that's crazy and he can like kill you with his bare hands he looks great with his shirt off yeah he was a uh MMA fighter yeah he had three fights and he's fighting estonians they're just scary people that's how you go 0 and three yeah like you're too nice you're too nice to be in that game they quit doing act outs yeah he was with a legit gy too uh legit gym it was a straight Blast Gym that's Conor McGregor's gym he an affiliate of that yeah he's legit yeah I'm happy for him I signed his like Visa letter oh yeah him and James mccan I'm both on them so if either of them [ __ ] up I'm going to be in big trouble I don't know mccan uh James mccan is Shane's boy from Australia oh I do that's right I'm sorry no I do know him that's right I just there's so many [ __ ] names now it's all I've met more people in the last year and a half since the club's been open and I have probably ever in my life trying to keep a an eye and pay attention to all these new faces and new Comics oh yeah you know it's pretty amazing well you make yourself available to them too which is cool I admire that about you because you could just like be a man in a tower and like you know do this thing but no you're like out there no I'm I'm one of us you know that's the only reason why the club works oh for sure yeah you can't that would be gross I don't have I very little say and how things even go on I I hired good people and I said let's just make sure that we have some core tenants you know in terms of like the pay structure it's like entirely you know opposite of most clubs the money goes to the comics yes which it should like if you're a comic and you don't have it set up like that what the [ __ ] are you doing I don't know it's what we always we always knew we were getting robbed right and now I'm and we were like hey thank you for robbing me thank you for the opportunity I'm a club owner now so I'm like I know we were getting robbed so I'm not going to do that yeah I'm not going to have it this but it's funny how many club Owners get mad at it oh dude I mean I'm finally selling tickets now after like you know fighting it out for like 20 years and the independent clubs will give you every penny that they can give to you whereas like the corporate own clubs are like you know they have the exact spreadsheet brutal they're so brutal they're so brutal I um this is like I don't want to say who it was oh my God I just got a hot toss in my eye [ __ ] up I was eating something with ghost peppers today and I forgot I had it on my hand I just wiped my eye at least you didn't touch your dick wow a I did touch my dick that's the worst yeah it's not that badad as the eye oh I did a jalapeno and then I touched my dick and then my wife came home and I had the tip of my penis and a saucer of milk she was like what are you up to I'm just like crying with my dick in cream that's like that old Eddie Murphy bit about uh putting After Shave on his balls oh yeah I have a clear eyes if you think that'll help at all uh yeah throw that over here God damn it Cap's a hell of a drug man Ghost Pepper Baby W you up God it's like those smelling salts you have in the Green Room oh yeah I [ __ ] around dude I I I dipped my toes into those Waters and I think my the ones we have at the Green Room are [ __ ] compared to these hey I'll take your word for it oh come on bro you got to take one blast I'll blast one one blast Chuck that suck this way maybe that'll clear up my eyes it's going to clear up something you psycho definitely going to forget about your eyes oh my god oh what a what a glowing endorsement of this product Oh my God oh my God oh dude I think you went too deep there yeah I went too deep too oh I felt it in my lungs it gets oh man it really hits like the reptile part of your brain yeah exactly right God I can't believe I did that let's podcast let's [ __ ] go I'm going to go fight Bruce I'll be right back I did it to impress Ron White in the green room and he just laughed like you idiot done it he's full of [ __ ] he's done it too Ron's taking quite a few hits but none of these guys know about that one that's the real one yeah that's uh that's Juju mufu is bodybuilder dude he's got this uh brand that tells him it's called Ah that's the real one that one is above and beyond anything I've ever tried it's like multiple magnitudes are there individual like capsules in here you're supposed to break what the [ __ ] in there oh my God this looks like crystal meth yeah it's just rocks and ammonia my right nostril still on fire the left one no we're good that's what Joey did he's I got to clean up my left one went with the left one too he's had a lot of stuff up that nose yeah I'm amazed he could smell anything [ __ ] he doesn't have holes in that thing H Yeah well yeah thank you for having me back my pleasure brother my pleasure so what's uh the road been like you're all over the place man I follow you on Instagram you're in all these crazy countries and did you just decide to like see the world like is that what the the plan was stand Up's a pretty good sheet code to travel and experience the authentic version of a place cuz you get to hang out with people from that place while you're there that weekend right so yeah uh I did like every state in America by the time I was like 30 and then was like well maybe I'll go abroad and stand Up's so new in the rest of the world that it's like you feel like you're in the ground floor of like all I can really uh approximate it to is like the early days of like hardcore like punk rock when like black flag and Minutemen were out there and I feel like I'm doing shows like that when I go to Estonia or bris laava right yeah and everyone's so happy to have you was there any place that like was really fun where like they laughed really loud and they got the jokes or was it every place like a little disjointed it's it's different because some of those the more East you go into Europe the more they watch it like theater oh but uh I remember I was in Hungary in Budapest and that show was awesome and it shouldn't have been like the host went up and ate it and he was getting all sweaty up there and he had to like take off his sweatshirt cuz he was bombing so hard God bless him you know but he comes off stage and he brings me on and he's like it's hot up there bro and then I went out there and I was you know just made fun of him and the crowd was like very good you know and then I killed over there man really yeah and I didn't think it was going to be good because they were all stern-faced Europeans you don't walk out there and like see like people who look like they've smiled before but I I got them I took hinchliff to Stockholm once yeah Stockholm's fun yeah I had a great time but he had never been to Europe before and I had performed in Ireland I'd performed in England I'd performed in a bunch of different places and uh we did two shows and the first show he's like dude they did not like me I go you got laughs he goes yeah but then they died off I go no no no that's what they do here they they pay attention like they pay attention in between each joke yeah they don't just keep laughing and talking and making noise like they're also not eating hot wings you know yeah no one's like arguing about splitting the check or anything that was another thing that I made sure with the club no food yeah is food and we're we're connected to two restaurants restant pizza place to the left Mexican place to the right yeah we're good everyone's fine yeah we don't we we you have to eat you could take an hour and a half or two hours out out of your day and not eat you guys also don't have to worry about being like an Applebees where there's occasionally comedy which is a lot of these clubs out there not a lot of them but they're still they still exist that model of like hey while hey hey the host by the way when you when you do everyone's birthdays after that make sure you plug the uh you know the queso dip yeah try the wings yeah yeah I did a lot of those oh me too but those are important for learning how to Captivate someone's attention span yeah you know for a comic it's like learning how to run uphill and if you can't compete with a quesadilla you know you should probably hang it up it's just you know it's a good way to maximize profit but it's not a good way to put on a show no when I see comedy clubs and they have food I'm like why you have food this is a dumb thing also when we got the rits when we first looked at the place it had a kitchen mit's bar used to be a kitchen for the Alamo Draft House yeah so we went in there's [ __ ] roaches like cell phones run around there Jesus and I was like okay this is what happens when you have food like you have roaches in your kitchen like we can't have roaches like we we don't want those no I thought you guys were going to put in like a pizza place when I first toured it with you way back in the day you were talking about we were talking about doing next door next door yeah where R Polo's Pizza is talking about doing that but they don't want to leave okay I mean they're printing money right there now they are yeah you guys raised the property values in the neighborhood [ __ ] up I should have bought it first I should have bought it when everybody was dying during the middle of the pandemic when everything was [ __ ] but no you know we could have never imagined it was going to work as good as it worked you know the whole the plan was just the plan was like to just see what happens and build but like from the opening night it was just guns blazing and then Dave Chappelle came like a couple of days after we opened and he's the first guy that ever performed on well actually Shane opened for him so Shane was the first guy that ever performed in the little room wow and then Dave did a set there and we did that one I just sold it off a Twitter I said we're having a special intimate show tonight at 11:30 and it sold out no one had any idea who it was and then when they found out it was Dave it was [ __ ] pandemonio that was in little boy that was in the little boy yeah oh my God so he did the first set in the big room and he did a set uh after me so they had no idea then either and again the club had just opened and uh and everybody's cheering I'm like thank you get actually the show's not over we got one more comedian ladies and gentlemen one of the greatest of all time please welcome my friend Dave and he goes out they just want [ __ ] bananas people's heads exploded yeah it was awesome yeah they liquefied it was awesome so we we like from the beginning it was guns blazing then so many people started moving here and I'm like wow okay and then now we're at a point where I'm like I think we need another club yeah carrying capacity might have been reached over there it's mobbed every night so I'm like I feel like we could get a club like down the street and you know have an A and A B Club you know and just it's all for all these young people it's all about numbers like how many you need obviously you need to analyze your material you need to write but it's about getting on stage that's one of the primary components that needs to be a part of this equation like you have to go on stage a lot volume yeah and in a good environment you need the bad environments too you need shitty and you're going to get plenty of those there's a lot of that around here I mean God I was just at this club this weekend the comedy vault in bavia Great Club with the AC was broken oh no so it's just like and they were packed shows and people are just in there like dropping out by the time I got up there people were not stoked to still be in that room yeah and I'm just dripping sweat I look like a ham in a window dude the creek in the cave was like that when we first moved here they had no AC the AC was garbage and you'd be drenched with sweat on stage like soaked t-shirt yeah and now it's like 60° in that room at all times yeah they fixed it yeah that's the way to do it I mean like Letterman always used to have his room like super super cold you know like the the idea is that like warm makes people sleepy but when they're a little uncomfortable they're awake you should just put these at every table man make it mandatory when they sit down we have people throw it up in the middle of the show most people like do not want that do you guys do check drop I don't remember that's the easiest thing a comedy club can do get rid of check drop yeah you we we were doing it in the beginning and they were like arguing that we had to do it and this a different person running things yeah but I was like no we don't like other clubs don't do it either well it's going to take more time then it takes more time and the show's better yeah the show's better the most important thing is that the show is like the best show we can put on right that's what we're selling we're not selling a check drop no so like you'd be on stage in the last 10 minutes of your set you'd hear all this mumbling and I didn't order that m one time a guy yelled out [ __ ] who said you could order hot wings and I heard that when I was on stage and I couldn't I he buried me from the back of the room I couldn't recover from that that's hilarious yeah [ __ ] who said you could order hot WS yeah the Denver Improv I've never been to that one of course not Comedy Works are so good though dude The Improv came and they said uh Wendy you've had it too good for too long we're going to put Comedy Works out of business and Wendy's response was to open a second comedy club and now she has two a clubs and the improvs out there like barely surviving across from like a Toby ke I Love This Bar what I was going to say is there was a club that I um like when I when Fear Factor had ended they decided that uh I wasn't even though I'd sold out like every show for like every time i' had been there for years they decided that I wasn't a draw anymore so they tried to decrease my amount by 25% and I was like what the [ __ ] are you talking about they're like we don't think you're a draw anymore I go but I sold out a year ago when I was here like what are you saying and so I didn't work for them for like a year and a half it it's one of those big clubs big companies that has a lot of clubs yeah yeah you know what I think know what you're saying for like more than a year and a half I think it was like 2 years that I didn't work for them I'm like [ __ ] you and then when everything was like really going great for me then they finally came back and gave me great deals but I'm like you guys are [ __ ] like this is so stupid what are you doing why you doing that to me I'm keeping the lights on around here like you how many national Headliners do you guys legitimately have and you're going to alienate one of them just because you could think you can make 25% more money yeah and you're going to sell out every ticket they're not papering the room for Jo sold out in advance Dan already like to the point where I was already having to like tell them I don't want to do radio like I don't have to do [ __ ] radio if I was already sold out like best we have a relationship with a radio station and they like it when you come in I'm like I don't like it when I come in I don't have to I don't want to wake up at [ __ ] 5:00 in the morning on Friday when I'm the least funny I've ever been at 6:00 a.m. and I go back to sleep and wake up for the show I'm going be all disoriented and [ __ ] up makes the shows worse Terri I'm on there selling a product that is going to be impaired because I'm on this radio show also like this is around 2007 and by that time the ship had already sailed with radio it was kind of already gone it was then becoming more internet-based promotion right and then by time I mean I guess now some people still have to do radio shows and I talked to these guys and some of them like go on stage hey how many people heard me on the radio today like crickets MH it's like a waste of your time it's a total waste but I think that it is like built into whatever relationship the radio station the and just quite recently I've had to not do radio anyer and it's it feels good it's nice dude kill Tony is a [ __ ] King maker dude I had no idea isn't it incredible I was in Bros laava there's people in Kill Tony t-shirts it's nuts man it's nuts have you been to one of the Arena shows no I haven't holy [ __ ] that's when you realize when you go to an arena show and they all sing along with like the Hans Kim song and they all know like everybody's like thing and when William Montgomery comes out they [ __ ] go crazy and stand up mhm we uh like The Black Keys are huge kill Tony fans and they love William Montgomery so when they were in town they were doing my podcast they were like can we see William tonight so I called William I'm like dude The Black Keys love you and they want to see you he's like wow oh hell that's amazing yeah that's so positive Joe I'd love to do a S that'd be great thank you Joe thank you Black Keys o yeah he's a he's like a caricature of a human being he's but that's really him have you ever hugged him uh he started in Denver so I've known William forever forever his hugs are like he might stab you like he's hugging you like he's thinking about stabbing you but he's controlling himself like what kind of a hug is this man it's a most intense hug he's like shaking it's like you're calming a baby deer yeah he's crazy when I met him first he was he was like full on alcohol doing coke and I was like this guy's wild I don't know if he's going to make it but then when he came here he uh sobered up by the time he moved to Austin and then once we got him off the notes once we got him off the notes it's like man the guy just flourished he just became this thing he's present now on stage so he would have the notes and then he would do kill Tony and when he would do kill Tony he would read off the notes but then with the banter the notes would be down then he'd start looking at the audience and like with a menacing way looking at certain people and [ __ ] yelling at I'm like I go that's your key you that's you your whole set I'm like this this notes thing is a crutch you know the jokes just remember them just remember them and you'll get better at remembering them and also now that you're not polluting your brain with booze and cocaine yeah your memory's better right there you go buddy he used to do this bit in Denver where he had a neck brace on but he would like wear it at all times to open mics and it was going well and then another comedian started doing a neck brace thing no way imagine stealing a disability joke was crazy I remember being at Comedy Works on a Tuesday and being like she's doing the neck brace thing and like she she's nice yeah it was a girl oh my God that's hilarious yeah did she actually have something wrong with her neck which would be ironic like had to do the neck brace thing I don't think she did oh my God she faked it I don't I don't want to say she faked it but I don't think it was as necessary as she made it out to be that's a weird one man uh huh you know what's weird people that wear glasses that don't have vision problems I hate them they're stealing Valor I was thinking about that with you you know cuz you have to have them I Am So Blind without these what is with people with clear lenses like what is that about it shapes their face is what they say it's an accessory so they'll have like a big fat face so they'll wear big glasses or they have like a mouse face so they wear little glasses but I really don't trust those people very odd yeah it's a very odd Choice it's like having a prosthetic leg attached when you have both your feet yeah I met I met a guy and he he had those on he was a comic mm and I go why do you wear those and he goes girls think you're smarter I go really yeah the dumbest girls who are these girls they think you're smarter cuz you can't see good yeah if the glasses are doing it just shake keys at one of them that'll probably work too well I guess the stereotype at one point in time was that you ruined your eyes by spending too much time looking at a close surface a close object which is what happens which is why cell phones are very bad for your eyes so bad for us so like the idea was this guy reads so much I see that his eyes sucked he crippled his eyes with his lust for knowledge okay so ask me that answer me this question why do I think it's hot when I see girls in glasses cuz I do I do too man why because they do this oh that's right they take the glasses off they flick their hair back before they that chick is the best bro first of all I just saw an interview with her she she um got on stage at the Zack Bryant show and she sang with him you know at the end he sings Revival and he has people come on stage and sing with them it's a great [ __ ] show he puts on an amazing show so he brought her out there and she yells out Hawk to to the whole crowd they all Che like who the [ __ ] would have ever thought that would have happened I don't know she just looks like the classic like you know American eight where it's like I have a chance with her and she seems fun and she loves sucking dick it's like of course great personal she capture the zeit guys yeah she's funny you know like even the way she says it you get me yeah like she says we understand yeah we get you commun she's only 21 I was watching an interview with her she's only 21 she wasn't a school teacher all that [ __ ] that people say she got fired for being nope she's too young to be a teacher she's 21 and uh you know she wasn't a bartender all that stuff's [ __ ] just a young girl who was just on the streets in nor it was Nashville Nashville think so and uh just went viral yeah and the most weird but I love that we live in a time where that happens like it's such a strange time I'm sure she'll be stealing Club weekends from me in no time here's something that should go viral Jamie pull up that guy that I tweeted because people think I was making fun of this guy which I kind of am but also it is a catchy tune you know there's a lot of people let me just say this there's a lot of people that uh I feel lean into certain things because they think it's marketable you know like when that Sam Smith guy dresses up like Satan start that for the beginning please this [ __ ] guy is on stage at a like a pride thing but here's what here's what's important how' you get this footage of me Joe I have eyes everywhere um here's what's important the [ __ ] dude is talented yeah it's ridiculous that he's got a g string on and he's fat and he's wearing a biker helmet on and he's got queer tattooed across his belly but listen to him rap listen to this how going I'm playing through damn Action Bronson put the weight back on huh he did put the weight back on a little bit unfortunately he was on the [Music] [Music] pocket he's good right he's entertaining [Music] like one of the lines was let me fill your hole with semen I'm pretty sure that's the only thing that I could get out of all that like like the little dance but it's just the flow his FL I mean everybody's freaking out about it all the end of the world listen that's a grown man out there swinging dick for other grown men yeah and they're they're having a good time they're having a consensual hit he's having a good time people like it but my point is like that's that guy that he's he's got queer tattooed across his stomach he's not he's not [ __ ] cosplaying he not performative yeah that's who he is but he's [ __ ] talented like that rat like the flow is good like it's [ __ ] good man also if you go to a show don't you want that guy leading the band you know that's a blast that's fat GG Allen he'll suck you off yeah I'd love that guy to open up a show he should open up fully loaded that's what he should do him and jelly roll B BT's [ __ ] buddies in the hey B's crowd just have that guy go out there first and then Bert would come out in the exact same outfit yes yeah with the machine tattooed on his belly yes yes with a [ __ ] biker hat on yes yeah yeah I'm all for that stuff me too I like freaks I love freaks I like freaks of all I mean here's the thing like a lot of people are upset about the pride parade because they're like oh they're doing the pride parade and they're doing it in front of all these children hey don't bring your kids to a [ __ ] Pride Parade right I know you want your kids to be tolerant oh simply marvelous Chris Ki queer conscious rapper is that him boy it looks a lot like him oh there's are different tattoos I think no that's he's based in Austin it says hell yeah dude hey fella whoa he has a song called American [ __ ] well there that's hard as hell yeah that just talented that probably was in Austin then oh for sure yeah it looked like it was at a farmers market based on the crowd so like there's this thing that people are saying about like the the pride parade cuz all these people are walking around naked at the San Francisco pride parade and so they were interviewing these people and they have their dicks out yeah listen if you don't want your kids to see gay guys being sexual that's what pride parade is yeah it's not like a bunch of 40-year-old gay Engineers holding hands like married guys who just holding hands like it's different than anything else like any other kind of pride thing because it's not just like we just happen to be gay it's overtly sexual always it's guys with [ __ ] ball gags and dog leashes pissing on each other yeah it's not it's nuts like I'm not against it at all but you can't complain that that's happening because you brought your kids you can't take your kids to the cage fight and complain about violence exactly don't take your kids to Pride and complain about the gays yeah they're having a blast they have a good time yeah I used to do a bit about how like I would always want I would always think am I exaggerating about like the the gay neighborhood like in LA they have um boy toown in Santa and it's it's so crazy like I was always saying to myself like maybe I'm exaggerating maybe I need to drive through again so every now and then I would take the right turn and go down Santa Monica Boulevard and head towards the ocean yeah and it's five blocks of no one saying no it's just wild Madness it's dudes at cowboy hats and gStrings on poles guys making out in the middle of the street and humping each other it's crazy having the time of their life having the time of their life all Yang no Yin and no one can get pregnant I'm all for it you wrestle but everyone wins well also those guys have their own neighborhood the difference between the gays and lesbians unfortunately never developed us cuz I have a theory I think that straight men find out that lesbians move next door and they go I'm an ally and then they become their neighbors whereas like straight men never move into a gang neighborhood very rarely you can't like straight a gay neighborhood no but they've figured out a way to make like a whole area all gay like only gay guys can do that it's admirable it's proba it's great it's wild but it's just wild that they can pull it off in almost every city well also they can go into places and then they gentrify these places on the margins of the city and then next thing you know all the houses are worth so much money because they invest so much in their properties they invest so much in their property make things more safe and they keep a lot of people from moving there oh yeah it's a good move if you could tolerate a lot of techno and dudes walking around on Molly yeah for sure [ __ ] live there but also offering you Molly typically they're very generous people oh yeah yeah yeah when I was a kid I lived in San Francisco so I lived in San Francisco from age 7 to 11 so I lived in a fully gay neighborhood and uh the city of San Francisco yeah but it was a we were in hate Ashbury like that area we were we were right off of Lumbard street so we're in there in like the mix of the whole thing like I could walk to fisherman war from my house and so my neighbors Were Gay and my aunt used to they she would smoke pot with these gay guys and they would get naked and play the Bongos and they'd be like oh she's over there playing the bongos with the gay guys it's like okay like it was so normal to me that it wasn't until I moved to Florida that I even realized that people were homophobic right and that was when I was 11 like I had no idea that people had a problem with gay people I mean it was just normal for you as a boy to understand that your aunt had these gay friends and it wasn't made made strange or they weren't othered you know no they were just normal guys who just happened to be gay and they were everywhere too so it's like it became a normal because you just saw them everywhere there was guys holding hands everywhere this was San Francisco in the 1970s yeah that's like kind of what you want right I want people to yeah I want people to be themselves I want Liberty and freedom for all yeah that's real Freedom you want America to be this [ __ ] land of the free home of the brave you know how [ __ ] Brave you have to be to be holding hands with a dude and walk down a major Street how what are the possibilities of running into homophobes it's pretty [ __ ] high for sure pretty pretty sure like if you're going to walk down any major Metropolitan like for any like three or four block stretch the odds of you running into a homophobe is very high someone is going to be violently angry that you love another man right yeah I think that the young people now they want to be homophobic but I think that most like 18 to 23 year old dudes have probably sucked a dick or had their dick sucked by a fella really I don't know i' i' I'd venture to what do you think is happening today I well it's a Miss they pump it in the classrooms it's like the gay bomb they tried in Iraq do you know about that story no oh my God you don't know that no oh my God what the United States spent millions of dollars trying to develop a gay bomb wow and so it's based on this hormone and this chemical and they would detonate it above a city and apparently it' make men so Randy that they wind up [ __ ] each other and it would demoralize them this was the supposed idea no way yeah this is how goofy our [ __ ] government is not knowing anything about the Spartans who are gay as [ __ ] who like the one of the greatest armies the world has ever known they could come for were so gay not just that but when you fought next to someone and they were your friend that was one thing but if it was your lover you would protect them to the death that's so smart yeah man well they just also I think people were just gay then I think people back before they realized like okay probably shouldn't [ __ ] kids they just [ __ ] everything you know and then people the kids started writing down and once my uncle [ __ ] me all life was down hill and you read that like oh that's probably stopped [ __ ] kids like took forever before they figured that out cuz if like if you think about it like Aristotle Plato Socrates you go back in time all those guys had like young boy lovers yeah it was just accepted and it was like part of passing your philosophy forward you would take an apprentice and he'd also [ __ ] his thighs from behind but then he would tell World your story yeah that was totally normal he was [ __ ] writing everything you were saying was dictating yeah and dict tasting yeah but there was like that thing with like the the philosophers some of them thought that it was low-minded to actually have sex with the children's butts so they would just bang their thighs from behind and that was like cool yeah I think so they just titty [ __ ] their thighs exactly yeah that's a good move it's real soft part of a body yeah you don't get that hurt from it you know it's like I wish that didn't happen but at least you didn't didn't [ __ ] my butthole still tight as a drum yeah it didn't make me walk around uncomfortable like what the [ __ ] did he do to me yeah I don't have to use a diaper now you just feel weird like oh that guy just [ __ ] all over my thigh like whatever whatever what are you gonna do at least I know about geometry now bro they didn't know any better isn't that crazy like but just think about how much murder took place back then like if you got to be our age back then if you got to be let's just say you got to be 30 how many people do you think you saw get murdered probably dozens yeah you probably saw people get murdered all the time over very small things over almost nothing yeah yeah disrespect I mean look when this country was founded one of our presidents forget which one engaged in a duel while he was President I think Andrew Jackson do a lot of people yeah that was like his whole thing he like to shoot at people yeah from 10 Paces mhm which is the dumbest [ __ ] thing to think if you hate someone you don't like them why don't you guys agree fight or something right why you got to Dueling is so dumb with pistols that yeah many people think Andrew Jackson fought hundreds of duels he did have a temper he was challenged and he was challenged challenged other several times but only one duel resulted in shots fired in 1806 where he killed Charles Dickinson that's good he was a terrible shot how far away did he shoot people from those guns suck too I mean they're shooting people with muskets right and it shot like a marble yeah it shot a ball of lead and not very accurate either and you probably didn't die every time no you could take one of those fine you take one in the shoulder especially if they're not accurate oh yeah but a lot of guys are probably crippled from them oh for sure cuz it would crack your bone it would like hit the bone and bend it in half and then that and then they never knew how to fix bones back then they would just have to chop it off and I they probably didn't even know how to get the lead out no that's a good point I bet lead poisoning deep in there and just stays in there G oh I would you should have the door guys duel for stage time with period type guns you know right just paintball guns did you ever see uh that scene in the that Mel Gibson movie The Patriot where the guy gets hit in the face with a cannonball oh yeah yo yes or Napoleon where that horse gets exploded with a cannonball like the first three minutes I didn't see Napoleon but I heard about that the first three minutes is all you have to see really cuz you see well yeah you see a horse take a cannonball in the chest and then the rest of it just like him sing for someone oh yeah I heard he was they cucked him out it wasn't the best movie it was pretty it was like a lush film what a waste of wae Phoenix yeah he's the man you know that guy is so good he's so he scared the [ __ ] out of me in the Joker oh my God and then the riots happened like a year later yeah I know like oh my God responsible for this I want to Sidetrack too far but this is saying that duels back then were not exactly what we think they might have been oh yeah it's more of a test of Courage it says people didn't just take 10 steps and shoot as quickly as possible most of the time people would stand and fire their guns in the air purposely miss their opponent making it du more or less a test about courage however there are plenty of real life examples where people would try to kill each other in a duel for example Hamilton and Burr people involved in duels also chose seconds or people to accompany them to the duel to make sure it was legitimate often times the seconds found themselves acting as peacemakers in a duel making sure if shots were fired they weren't fired at other people H so it was a lot of playing chicken I guess I think so making they shot each other yeah what the [ __ ] they probably had John Wick was like that at the end right didn't the guy try to get like a spoiler spoiler alert John Wick pretended he shot but he didn't he take shot the other guy want to get a replacement or something so John Wick wouldn't kill him oh yeah on the steps of mtart and P the last one you know as much as I love those guys the last one was just so cartoony it's so hard to take seriously I'm okay with it you turn your brain off love the first one the first one's the best one mhm cuz the first one all the motivations are clear oh my God they stole his car and killed his puppy let's go let's do it and then they build this world of like the continental and stuff which was cool there was lore I like those movies are the best you see furiosa no what is furiosa the new Mad Max no I haven't seen it bro is it great you need to treat yourself really did you see the first the most recent Mad Max before this yes remember how great it was and you left the theater going movies are the best it's that again but they figured out how to do War for with like uh with like like Kites and stuff as well oh yeah dude it's so good nice okay I'm in the whole movie was storyboarded too so it looks like a graphic novel o yeah it's like the best graphic novel I've ever seen a movie I haven't heard anything about it it's so badass dude yeah I think there's too much content today for sure it's very difficult for people to pay attention to everything right but there's very few movies that are like actually something you need to see in the theater right and I think this is one of those things our Dune 2 is one of those yeah if you can stay awake oh really I took so many edibles went to Dune 2 I didn't make it past the previews man I like ate all my Reese's PCS and then was just zoned and my wife's punching me in the stomach no that's the worst yeah dude well you get in them comfy chairs like synopis you know the like you lean back and it's got the cup holder there you're like ah you find yourself snoring yeah and you can Vape in there now you have your weed pen oh really you can Vape in there I mean you can't Vape in there but you can Vape in there yeah you can yeah yeah I'm just like smoking live rosin and trying to stay alive oh that's hilarious I love movie theaters yeah movie theaters are great especially for a comedy cuz it really is like the the thing about comedy clubs like last night I went to see kill Tony and you know I I like watching shows now more than I ever have before because I don't you don't get a chance to do that when you're performing a lot you watch your friend do a set but I sat watched a show you know and I've done that a bunch lately watch a show and it makes you appreciate it from an audience's perspective yeah cuz I think we get too wrapped up in you like I think it's good to see it the other way too see it as an audience member just like just get a different perspective on what you're doing up there too and how it feels to be in the audience just just to inform yourself that's valuable yeah and also that show is perfect because you're not worried about like maybe someone's bit worming its way into your brain and then you Robin Williams it later yeah you know what I mean that's why Norton doesn't watch stand up I can't watch it either really yeah cuz like when you riff a lot when you're you know I like improvising a lot on stage every now and then you'll tell someone's and then it's that moment where you're like y like ask my feature like is that someone's bit you know like cuz you don't want to be that guy you know yeah that definitely can happen yeah you you know but the thing is it's like Integrity like does it happen on purpose does it just happen if it just happens maybe you should figure out why maybe work on some something for your memory or think or maybe just don't leap to the problem is some ideas that you don't steal almost feel stolen because this is the problem with creativity because this is the concept of the Muse right that these ideas are just given to you by like the gods it kind of feels like that sometimes like some bits they'll they'll arrive in your mind with a setup and a punchline sacred knowledge yeah it there's something going on there I don't know what it is I don't I have a bizarre theory that ideas are actually a life form you think that they're energy I don't know what the word energy means like the word energy means electricity but also means diesel en engines you know means a lot of things like where do you get energy from you get energy from the Sun you get it's energy sure but I think it makes stuff every everything you see on this table came from an idea yeah it's like ideas get into our minds and then we make cars or we make planes or we make computers and then ideas they build on each other you have to have all these other people's ideas and you pull those ideas together and create a new invention I think they're a life form I think they're a way that they for creative Apes to manifest physical things as if there's like individual particles that might be an idea there's like an atom that's imbued with an idea or a bit and somehow that gets into you I think the Muse is a real thing and I think it's the more time you spend thinking you can kind of hear those calls the more time you spend alone writing and thinking and working on stuff you hear those calls and those calls like from The Ether from wherever the [ __ ] it's coming from those make their way onto your page and then there's real work involved too where you're analyzing it okay how can I make that better maybe setup's too long maybe it's too like maybe I should toss it and just readdress like I'll do that sometimes where I'll take a a premise and it just some of them just feel clunky you know like you're trying to work it out but they don't necessarily feel right and you're getting kind of laughs but then you're doing it the same way over and over and over again and then that like ex that that wonder that you had when the bit is new dies you're just repeating something and you can see the crowd lose interest in it yeah you're not connected to it so why would they be right so then um sometimes with those kind of things I will just throw it aside and rewrite the joke just on the premise so instead of using all the setup and the punch line I'll say there's got to be another way to address this this topic like let me see so that I think is like real work that's real work where you're thinking and you're analyzing but the ideas themselves is like the structure of all comedy is an idea the structure of all comedy is like something comes to you there's a thought where you either you see something and it's Preposterous or you hear something it's ridiculous or you know there's something so so there's some and that's the framework and then upon that you build a bit right it's like that's the the framing of the house you have the germ and you have to water it make sure it gets enough sunlight and then see which soils it grows better in that's why like there's a type of stealing that's like very Insidious stealing cuz they steal premises like they'll hear you're you'll do a bit about you know getting your oil changed or something whatever or maybe something more obscure right you they'll do a bit about someone buying you fitted socks or whatever the [ __ ] it is and then someone will I think I can write something on that I can do it better I can just kind of just I'm not stealing the punch line it's not stealing I'm just kind of twisting around this person's premise and yeah have you ever heard Tom weights talk about the muse no he so he thinks the Muse is like a real thing like you're talking about it's like a Vibe for lack of a better term so there's all these stories about Tom white sitting in front of his piano for like 10 hours a day just screaming being like all right you [ __ ] I'm here I'm ready to do the work I'm in front of the piano let's go give me what I need I'm into the work right now just like hammering on the piano and yelling at the Muse trying to like enchant it and bring it to him as he's like just like literally making insane discordant noise and then out of nowhere some chords fit together and then he has a song yeah it's it's just so hard to know right so hard to know what's going on yeah but you can't write a book unless you're in front of the typewriter you can't write a song unless you're in front of the keyboard all these guys are like how do you write a book it's like you have to be at the station where you do the work yeah you can't just sit there and be like oh man I'm going to write a book one day no sweat over the keys until you have a thousand words or whatever you need for that day to be done cuz everyone wants to talk about like oh I want to write this book and it's like you telling me you want to write a book just set you back six months cuz you get the same hit of adrenaline and dopamine by telling someone your idea as actually like accomplishing that thing yeah I think that's very dangerous to tell people you're doing stuff when you're not actually doing it I've talked about it too many times but have you ever read pressfield's war of art no I have not oh we have a copy of it for you then love he sent us a box because I used to give it to comics when they would or any kind of creative person when they came on the podcast but pressfield wrote this book and he talks about the Muse as as if it's a real thing yeah pressfield was uh kind of like a narell until he was like 40 he kind of like was like half-assing it until he was 40 and then somewhere along the line he realized that it's just about being a professional and like showing up and so he started addressing the Muse as a real thing and then he wrote The Legend of bager Vance and he wrote like some great screenplays and books and and just became like very prolific well it's like we have we always count on inspiration to come into our lives but if you can kind of like create a situation where that inspiration is more easily available to you whatever that is it's playing your music it's drinking coffee like however you can like try and harness that ethereal thing that is inspiration I think you can um be a better creative and like you said become more professional in creating yeah there's also different ways that ideas come right one of the things that Stephen King would do a lot of people would do this is they would write and then they would go for a walk mhm yeah so while you you wrote everything and now let's go for a walk and just think about what you wrote and he would have a little recorder and he would talk into it yeah I've heard a bunch of writers say they do this yeah that's that was a big thing for me when I wrote my book was to write and then go on a walk and uh maybe smoke a little weed and then you see it all differently and you can come back and realize what was [ __ ] and like what was a complete waste of time and then go back in and try and address that and then also grow the things that were like a little idea but then you can expand upon them and it's literally just not being in front of the computer it's your eyes seeing real light I think as a big part of it cuz I have to write like at my desk in my computer but then as soon as you get outside you're like oh that's how light hits a tree at this time of day or like that's actually lavender I was talking about lilac there's just all these little things that are I mean romantic for sure but also very applicable in concrete ways to your art yeah I think it's also getting out makes your blood pump oh for sure you know it's walk around I think there's the thing about walking is it's a very lowlevel cardio so like your heart is pumping you're moving your body but it's not exertion so you're not ex cuz like when you're really tired you can't like if somebody got you on an airdine bike and they start to ask you questions you have a morons brain you have like 10% of your brain capacity if you had to do an IQ test if I if I had to do an IQ test when I was on a like a versa climber I you it's probably 10 my IQ is 10 you know yeah you're smart as the vers climber you can't think you're [ __ ] tired so you don't want to be tired when you're thinking things but you also want to be a little bit energized and there's something about walking that just sort of because the heart is not beating you know 60 beats a minute now it might be beating 75 or 80 or just a little extra just a little something so where you're walking around you get that flow going through you oh yeah swimming is good for that too swimming nice yeah you get in the pool and all of a sudden everything is changed you have a complet different perspective and you're just in there doing your laps or even if you're just like floating like when I was in Vegas I had to swim because you can't walk around outside right so I just be in the pool I remember there was this big fat dude and he was like Hey man you're putting in the work man and I was like thanks bro and he's like just keep doing it man this is good for you and then he got out of the pool and he had a giant swastic tattoo on his back oh my God that's hilarious he was my pool buddy though he was he was encouraging me maybe he did time I think so he was trying to survive they probably did that to him while they're [ __ ] him it's not all they it wasn't just his thighs he wasn't receiving platonic knowledge yeah they're they're not being nice to you when they [ __ ] you in jail I heard I think so especially when they put a swas stick on your back maybe that helped them come like look we make it quicker if I could just put a swastick on your back it's hard to come bro you got a big stupid hairy ass but if I could put a swastic on your back I think I just nut immediately give me a Target man yeah maybe you like made a deal with them okay all right sure okay that's really what's going to help make this quicker he was good in the water he was like a seal he's probably so happy to be in the water never had water in jail you can't get [ __ ] in the ass in water true very hard MH especially in deep water yeah I mean good luck like there's that uh how could you even be hard what was that like that boat during I think the Pacific Theater of World War II that like uh they sank it and then they were in these shark infested waters and they just kept getting picked off mhm like you'd be floating with your buddy and then all of a sudden he would just disappear forever well I heard on a podcast that also there was a feverish homosexuality so dudes would be like on a plank of wood and just Savage each other cuz they like Yeah and I don't remember why it was but there was all these accounts of like dudes but [ __ ] raping each other on these like little planks of wood while other people were like bleeding out in the water and like their flesh is coming off from saltwater and [ __ ] yeah I think I heard that last podcast on the left see if you can find anything on that yeah I was already looking before he finished talking oh yeah he's got a lot of butt [ __ ] windows open over there butt [ __ ] while getting eaten by sharks yeah wow I guess which one's worse I guess if you were in that sort of scenario and especially for long periods of time your mind just must be so overwhelmed with anxiety and fear and then acceptance and then sad or you're watching people around you getting killed the The Morbid [ __ ] the tissue floating in the water whatever's left of your friends and also like if someone's bleeding you get as far away from them as possible cuz the sharks are going to eat them it's probably just your brain trying to protect yourself so it just reverts back to like your very Simian part of yourself which is like hold someone down overpower them and get it out of yeah and all the other people they're going to die too yeah we watched you [ __ ] Harry why'd you do that that Harry said stop and you kept going hey why I I thought we were all going to die yeah I didn't think anyone would be able to tell this story sorry bro 1940s meanwhile I made it to a podcast in 2024 uhhuh wow we're not naming names not no we don't know any names I would gladly if I I would if I knew them I'd named their names yeah where's their plaque this guy butt [ __ ] a bunch of people how about the guy who got butt [ __ ] not only did he watch all his friends get eaten by sharks he also got butt [ __ ] got a purple heart and a purple sleeve and and he's like don't worry about it we're all going to going be dead in an hour or two take me and then they get rescued they're just tattooing swasti on him and then when they get rescued that guy who we butt [ __ ] hey what about what happened on the [ __ ] raft dude sorry man I lost my mind so LA Times I think this I didn't catch the year but there you go okay as the Indianapolis sailor struggled in the water there was bravery and self-sacrifice all vividly detailed by Vincent and vlogic there was also violence cannibalism and even sexual attacks in the water the dead outnumbered the living men continued to expire so quickly it became almost impossible to move around without having to Shoulder Through shs of corpses holy [ __ ] and then the Sharks one moment they behaved like gentle and curious Giants moving up close to inspect the men with black unblinking eyes the next moment they attacked their steel trapped Jaws snuffing out a man's life before he could draw a breath to scream yeah that's all it's say making you pop up I'm not interested you [ __ ] um I don't see anything else though what so the sexual attacks I guess that's all this was that's it just a mere mention you think the LA Times would want to get involved in the more lurd details you sell a subscription you guys need to sell some subscriptions yeah yeah they apparently just let a bunch of people go I would not want to be a [ __ ] reporter right now no but there's good journalism going on oh yeah most of it's independent that Whitney web character she's a character she's cool yeah that lady knows a lot mhm and I don't know how she knows it all but God I'd be afraid if I were her oh yeah they're going to disappear I she lives in another country doesn't she I think so yeah I watched her on a bunch of shows I watched her on Patrick B David I watched her on um I think she was on Jimmy Dore show a few times she's she knows a lot I think Tim's got a direct line to her that's a wild thing to like be focusing on the evil like oligarchs and people in power of the world and how they've twisted everything thing throughout history like you make yourself a real Target the Bloodlines oh yeah all that [ __ ] yeah the bloodline stuff is wild it is that's really wild Tim like called her when we were in Europe I was opening for him in April over there and he really wanted to go to St Petersburg Russia to eat a meal at go go which is like the best restaurant in the world allegedly oh really so he called her he called Tucker Carlson like trying to figure out how to get into Russia he even went to the state department and they were like no and he's like I'll be there for 3 hours come on let us see eat dinner we'll be fine you can watch us the whole time it'll be good they might snatch him up I think he'd be compromised and then I'd be the other guy yeah they just think I was a fat prostitute I would swastic on his back yeah exactly Tim Dylan and his cboy arrested in St Petersburg Tim would be so embarrassed I'm not his type at all at all that's hilarious yeah man that's hilarious yeah he's a wild boy he would want to go to Russia to eat that's so crazy and hey I was all for it dude I was like yeah let's go yeah you can't go over there no no we we are we just signed a 10year contract to supply them with weapons to supply Ukraine with weapons for the next 10 years yeah I think this whole thing is it's terrifying to watch but it's also a very clear money grab yeah there's so much money going over there and there's so much money we continue to send and it's just like how is this okay with everybody how is anybody letting this happen yeah I mean the taxpayers are really holding the bag on it too you know Dave Smith had a wild suggestion he on full of those he is he was he was doing a debate about um about Russia and Ukraine and he said one of the ways to incentivize Russia to stop um to stop attacking Ukraine is if we left NATO whoa not only did should we say that Ukraine is not going to join NATO but we're going to leave NATO and I was like whoa who be the repr repercussions of that though who [ __ ] knows we would just be a well look at the repercussions of being a part of it look at the repercussions of what's going on right now because you know Dave is the best at explaining and he'll credit Scott Horton and a lot of other people but Dave is really good at recalling information explaining how the whole red line with Putin was Ukraine joining NATO that was they always knew that and they kept moving NATO based company uh countries they kept moving weapons closer and closer to Russia like the whole thing was like they're baiting him to do this I just I just get so suspicious of military activity because I know that the there's there's always going to be bad people in the world that you have to send good people to go fight that's always going to be the case right the clearest most pure version of that for us is always World War II right Nazis we go over there and kill the Nazis the whole United States you know gets together and then when it's over there's that sailor kissing that girl right you know when he and it's like hey this is why people sacrifice this is why this America is so amazing this country but that's not real that's only one exam most of the time it's people figuring out a way to get defense contracts or there's some cool resources that just so happen to be right there just happens to be a lot of lithium in the area yeah it's very convenient that they need democracy right now yeah that's the and the same people that are telling you that Joe Biden 's fine that's how things get done like that is like whether or not Joe Biden you know should be president or not president let's put that aside for a second folks everybody knows there's something wrong right the people that are telling you there's not something wrong the reason why they think they can do that is they do that with everything they do that with Venezuela they do that with Yemen they do that with Ukraine they do that with everything they [ __ ] and Gaslight depending on what the narrative is creative with what facts and the facts change over time and they're not really uh sometimes they don't even know like one of the more interesting exchanges about the Ukraine war was with uh of all people um Candace Owens so Candace Owens was talking about how Corr corrupt Ukraine was so someone sends her a message from The New York Times uh what evidence do you have that Ukraine is corrupt and she said your own [ __ ] newspaper and she sends them all these articles that were written previous to 2017 about rampant corruption in Ukraine about Ukraine is like one of the most corrupt countries before the narrative changed yeah before the narrative changed and now everyone has a Ukraine flag damn look yeah Ukraine should not have been invaded yeah it's all [ __ ] up it's horrible hundreds of thousands of ukrainians they don't even know what the real number is are probably dead yeah horrible but also that was a corrupt country like just because horrible things are done to them it's not just justifying those horrible things but you can't pretend that Ukraine has always been this amazing country just because now we're supposed to support them because Russia did a horrible thing you got to tell the [ __ ] truth that's what being a journalist is we're not babies but they treat us like babies oh my God they coddle us so much oh it's so well the whole thing during the pandemic you can't tell people about other things or about adverse reactions to vaccines because then it causes vaccine hesitancy Oh you mean an informed opinion right are you [ __ ] trying to stop informed opinions and a lot of them from like professors at Stanford and Harvard Le is bananas right and then there's like it's condescending exactly you're talking down to these people that you're trying to get onto your side a lot of them if they're smart will be like come on I'm not a baby yeah it's it's a [ __ ] annoying and the the the people that are doing it right now about Biden they're telling you how you should vote even though you know he's impaired you definitely shouldn't vote for Trump like don't tell people that you [ __ ] idiot cuz it's it's going to make more people angry and want to vote for Trump you are not going to convince anyone walking down the west side of New York City talking into your phone about what a threat Trump is to democracy you aren't changing anybody's [ __ ] vote you're just being a condescending scolding liberal [ __ ] which is what drives everyone crazy scolding for verbiage is like the worst thing that the liberal side does uh but the [ __ ] conservatives used to do it too it's a human characteristic and this is what's important everybody wants to get on this the Liberals are bad the conservatives are bad it's [ __ ] it's all just a human behavior pattern we always want to tell people that they should behave and think and accept the truths that we have accepted they you have to behave like us and if you don't you're the enemy right and it's not really that these people have these opinions often times it's that they have subscribe to a predetermined set of opinions there's a narrative in order to be in this group there's a party line if you tell me how you feel about the Second Amendment I can tell you how you feel about abortion almost 80% of the time which is wild that's wild cuz there two very complicated issues right if you tell me how you feel about immigration you know if you tell me how you feel about weapons military spending I can I can tell I could probably tell what you how you feel about God yeah you know I can probably tell you what your religious leanings are it's just bizarre and it's just because the reality of life is too open-ended and complex and fascinating and bizarre and Majestic and immense and boundless boundless immense like and more immense than we even thought it was now they're looking into the James web telescope they're finding galaxies that are so big so long ago that they couldn't have existed possibly in a short amount of time which they were from The Big Bang so then now they they're starting to think that the universe is like maybe 10 billion years older than they thought it was which is good yeah but it's still it's like what does that even mean it's too much there's like division is really important to people in power cuz they keep us fighting each other instead of against the presidency or the government so back in the day it was like racism and there's still racism in this country but like we're moving further you know and then it was like class conflict but now it's like everyone's poor you know yes so now it's like straight up Republicans versus Democrats and you have to go to war with your neighbor over that thing it's like they're all the same they work for the same corporations the same oligarchs are paying them off exactly I mean if voting worked they wouldn't let us vote yeah you know like it's not going to change anything yeah it's it works kind of kind of but I mean kind of works it's still a big experiment and democracy is flawed but it's still the best thing that we have you know it's the best thing going but the problem is there's we we made a fatal flaw when we allowed them to use money oh yeah that's the Fatal flaw the Fatal flaw is a letting politics into the money and lobbyists and special interest groups and corporations donate to political candidates soon as we did that that should be illegal we should think of it as a bribe yeah it is a bribe it is a bribe 100% a especially in this day and age everything should be supported 100% of by the people for the people it that's only how it should be and we if we find out that corporations are involved or the corporations are even suggesting that people should be involved we should like find them it should be illegal they should be put the people that want to do it should be put in jail you're trying to affect the election like it's really election interference it should be illegal instead it's like par for the course ttic corruption is a tactic funny cuz like I used to live in an anarchist commune in Upstate New York yeah when I was like from like 18 to 22 how did you get involved in that my best friend from high school uh moved to Ithaca to go to college and we were in bands together so I was like I college sucked you know so I went to school in Denver and then I went out there to stay with him and we like wrote like 12 songs over like two weeks and then I was like well I'm not going to stay in school I'm going to move up here so we got this place we shared a closet in an anarchist commune called Goblin house Goblin house yeah dude and like when we moved in this dude named Bob wolf young 2 he had the number two in his last name what yeah he like changed his name his name was Bob wolf was his first name and then young like J N G2 great guy but I remember when he showed us the room he was like this is where you will sleep and I just wanted to know are you guys up to group sex we like no dude we just want to like have the practice space we would we had this like we it was an abattoir it was an old slaughterous so we were living with these people that were like they would like sign their rent checks in blood you know we were like dumpstering everything I like learn to kill chickens and stuff wow but on the commune like those people have the almost the exact same tenants and ideals as the you know your Preppers your doomsday guys who want to like build a compound and protect themselves against the government like they're like back to back if they would just turn around the far left and the far right they'd realize that like they're fighting for the same things yes you know they share so many similar Behavior patterns yeah that's what it is it's like the opinion it's like we're talking about jokes the jokes are like a scaffolding like the ideaas of scaffolding and the jokes you create around them you create the punch lines and the tag lines around the idea yeah that's what these guys are doing it's the same thing like they have human behavior patterns and then they attach to it equity and inclusion and you know all these different thoughts about Christian nationalism and you know protect our borders and you know God saved Trump it's the same thing yeah it's really the same thing like what it is is just like you've attached natural human behavior patterns to an ideology and you don't think it's an because this is the thing about cults nobody in a cult thinks they're an a cult they're like this is the way to live this is the way to live yeah they're seeing through the veil in that cult they're the only ones who are living a Justified life did I tell you the cult story about the place that I initially bought before we bought the rits I think I heard trickles of this story but not directly from you Adam eot is the one who saved me this is what happened so Ron White [ __ ] me so Ron White we had uh just got in here and we realized I was like we need a a place we cannot we cannot be out here just doing a bunch of random clubs like the thing about The Comedy Store that I recognized like very early on is it's home base and Comics need a home base and the way everybody was developing one of the things that helped us is like if I'm on the road I don't get to see Bill bur's hour no I'm on the road he's on the road somewhere else I don't get to see Dave Chappelle but when we're in town together then we can all see each other's sets so we would all like like and then hang together and talk and so I was like all right we need a spot and so Ron goes you should buy that place the cult owned I [ __ ] performed there I killed it was beautiful it's a beautiful theater I think it's for sale I was like wow a theater that a cult owned that'll be fun yeah and then Adam calls me up after I already signed paperwork and everything oh no Adam calls hey man uh did you watch the documentary on that call I'm like they have a documentary that's not good no it's bad the documentary is called holy hell and the guy who was the cult member the cult leader was a gay porn star who is also a hypnotist oh those are two of the worst things you can be I mean like this [ __ ] guy he changed his names multiple times his original name was Hy Gomez he was actually an extra in Roseanne's baby or Rosemary's Baby all right the he was like in one of the scenes in the end of Rosemary's Baby so he's an actor and and so uh did gay porn and then uh he teaches yoga class and gets a b because he like he's a beautiful man like he's like a six-pack and sculpted face got be hot to run a car he was hot as hell and just had this cult going for a long time in West Hollywood but then Waco popped off so then the cult awareness Network had been getting like parents had be saying where the [ __ ] is my kid and they would be in this cult and so like people were starting to like investigate him yeah so to throw people off the track this [ __ ] guy moves to Austin changes his name again and then has his followers build him this beautiful theater where he could dance in front of them just for dancing just for dancing and hypnotism that's the place I bought so it all falls apart it all falls apart years later when one guy sends out a mass email saying hey this guy's been hypnotizing me and butt [ __ ] me for the past 10 years and then everybody starts comparing notes and they're like oh my God he's [ __ ] me too and like this guy was just paying they you'd have to pay him butt [ __ ] you for the privilege for the privilege so he would you would come to him for therapy you would have to give him $50 and then he give you his therapy and then he [ __ ] you I mean maybe he has a maybe he knows some stuff we don't know maybe he was helping I don't think so no no I think people are just I'm an optimist I think human beings have a thing in us that makes us want to believe nonsense yeah we're looking for some kind of solution to the chaos that we're surrounded by exactly and that could manifest itself in you being a DieHard Democrat that don't think there's anything wrong with Joe Biden and Joe bid his age is his strength strength his [ __ ] wife was on TV talking about his performance and she was saying that he's sharp as a d no no no no oh you should have you seen it have you seen Joe Biden get interviewed yeah want me S she was with him right yeah and he's just standing behind her like a wax figure like you did so good Joe you answered every question he's like did I oh yeah I did I did I'm the best poor guy he's like me if I was on a like a ver that's where he's at right now that's just that's him leading the country what huh yeah he's obliterated but believing that that guy's okay is the same thing as believing that this gay porn star who's a hypnotist is really like you know it's really wild about the documentary um he had this thing that he would do to them called The Knowing and you had to earn it somehow you had to like you know you to be on the right path for long enough and he would give you this thing where he would it was a ritual and during the ritual he would put his hands on you and to this day the people that had it even the people that complained about him were in the documentary talking about this guy's just evil and manipulative they said that in that moment they felt god wow that they when his hands were he puts his I mean he's really intense like these intense burning eyes and he puts his hands on on their knees and they're like so it's like you there was an endogenous release of psychedelic chemicals that was through this this moment this ritual thing this the power of suggestion and whatever the the vibe that the two of them have clearly hypnos hypnosis as well yeah he he locks on to this person and these people were like just writhing in like in orgasms in just ecstasy just like and to this day they're all talk even though they're saying he was [ __ ] they were like that moment when that happened to me it changed me forever wow so he could like somehow make them release like the DMT or the oxytocin that's in their brains and they were flooded yep all that wow hypnotism probably I mean we we're isolating specific things like you know dopamine serotonin DMT there's all these different things that people are but I have a feeling the real cocktail what's really up is everything all together yeah that's what that's probably the real like whatever it is that you have when you have near-death experiences they're all the most potent psychedelic chemicals known to man that your brain makes just a Long Island IC of brain chemicals boom and your brain's a floating it yeah and it's a [ __ ] Fourth of July fireworks display inside of there and it just pops off and this guy knew how to get people to experience it just from this thing see if you can find video of him doing that I envy those people do a little to feel something that Transcendent on Earth if you could just like believe it enough that this guy can just do that to you I don't believe in anything I believe in like me and my friends and my family and like the community that I can build but like it's really hard hard to have any faith in anything bigger than myself well you have to have an open mind right but you also can't you can't really believe anything there's no evidence for like a lot of my ideas about what the How the Universe works and how everything works and Karma and life and energy is just an idea do you believe in karma I don't know what it means so I don't think that necessarily like if you do something something something will happen to you yeah but I do think that if you do something evil you're aware that you do something evil and I think your existence is poisoned because because of that and I think you will forever run into bad situations because you will be filled with bad thoughts and bad energy and you you take on like a psychic cancer yeah yeah attracts other yes I think that's real I think I don't think altruism Is Real at all I think there's some real altruism and it's usually between people that know each other yeah but okay kindness generosity but is that altruism that just doing the right thing for your community well it it's I always say that being generous is selfish it is because it makes you feel good yeah it makes you feel good it it elevates you but it also is really a good thing to do because it makes other people feel really good if there's no altruism it's okay if you're still doing the right thing if you get off on it you still benefited someone else you do but why should you not benefit while they're benefiting too as long as you're not being selfish and narcissistic about it want want to just do it yeah of course it feels good to make people feel good but it also makes them feel good so you should do it you should not not make them feel good because your word it's going to make you feel good and that's selfish that seems silly well you have to share what you have based on how much you have cuz like when I was poor it was like my friends my best friends would have like half a joint and they would smoke that half a joint with me yeah and now that I have like more resources compared to some of my friends I'm always buying meals and like you know that kind of thing and they're like hey man you don't have to do this and it's like well you were you rode with me when we had $8 to rub together yeah and I have more than $8 so like I'm glad to be able to do this for you yeah the difference between like being able to pay for a meal easy and not thinking about it in and the where you're wondering how much things cost and you're adding it all up in your head that's a there a huge difference yeah the alleviation of that is the most important thing like Brian K said that to me once he said the real wealth is like when you go to a restaurant and you don't worry about what anything costs 100% once you get past that he goes like it's all [ __ ] and I'm like I think he's right is very that is profound yeah agree with that no matter where you live your house just feels like your house if you have to spend $10 million for a house or if you just have a [ __ ] two-bedroom apartment that's quiet and not dangerous you know it's just house it's home I have a hard time feeling at home anywhere cuz the road yeah I mean I've been on the road since I I was with the band first and then stand up real hard and now like like the last 6 months of last year my wife and I didn't have an address we were just like Liv living on the road and it was romantic but it was so daunting dude I remember my sister was like what do you want to do for New Year's and I was like what if we just got like an Airbnb and like cooked dinner and hung out and she's like oh so your idea of a party is like living in a home you need to [ __ ] move somewhere man so we like tried it you know we did two months abroad last year doing shows and [ __ ] and she came with me and it was great but now we like bought a house in Detroit and I'm really happy about it but I don't ever know if I'll like really feel comfortable when I'm Not In Motion that's interesting and it's like it's good every all my dreams are coming true but then you have to realize like who you are isn't going to be fixed by everything you wanted happening right you still have to like figure out what's the root cause of you you know it's Wednesday and you're like I've been home for two days God I can't wait to get to [ __ ] bavia you know but isn't it because you love what you do and you're good at what you do I really love what I do yeah I'm super grateful to be a comic there's that right yeah and that's like the way to do that is like you kind of got to do the road I think so you kind got to do the road and like for a long time it was like I couldn't get booked in these rooms but now I can so it's like Mitch Hedberg said like he wouldn't say no to gigs because he remembers five years previous when he couldn't get those gigs and that's me right now it's like I I worked like [ __ ] 49 weekends last year or something wow you know and some of those like a lot of those were like different continents and [ __ ] wow but I love it I'm not complaining I'm just like this is a new thing with the buying of the home and the moving to the home of me being like what does being at peace look like for me right cuz I'm used to existing in chaos you know I'm used to being constantly going forward and uh and you enjoy it I love it dude yeah that's there's nothing wrong with that nothing wrong with that so the thing is like people will tell you because of a narrative like a from a movie or a book that you're supposed to settle down somewhere yeah says who I don't know listen there's a reason why there's flights in hotels MH cuz people like to travel places and stay and they don't have a house there yeah so they go to the [ __ ] hotel it's simple like it's there set up for you and if you take advantage of it it's fun if that's what you enjoy some people don't enjoy it at all some people like to the problem is the real problem with the travel all the time is your health because it [ __ ] up your sleeping it [ __ ] up your eating schedule it [ __ ] up it [ __ ] up a lot of stuff and then there's a sense of loneliness and desolation on the road that you try to fill in with booze or drugs or unless you travel with friends and I do now I got to bring my own feature and it's the best and he hasn't drank for 8 years I pump the brakes on boozing you know I'm like drinking with purpose now when I do drink not just like 15 mlion lights every night I drink on purpose yeah it's like my purpose is to get [ __ ] up well I know but I and that's a valuable purpose but when you're just doing the Friday early show and you've already had seven beers and then you wake up Saturday and you're like hung over and you're like well I guess I have to have 12 more beers tonight to get normal and you're not even getting drunk you're drinking Miller Light and you're just confused and Bloated right that's all you get out of it well you lost a lot of weight I did yeah I'm down like 50 lbs this year that's awesome congratulations that's [ __ ] huge I have to and you do that by hitting the bre yes please stay alive I love being alive we need more funny people are you um just hitting the brakes on booze that's all you had to do hitting the brakes on booze well that's 1500 calories in pure sugar that I'm not taking in every you know four days out of the week wow so that's great you know and then also eating better and then movement moving around you know spend a lot of time outside um and now that we're like actually going to be in a home like the weight set's going back in like there's a pool in the neighborhood like cuz for so long it was like I had nothing and I was just like so desperate for some like okay I can I'm sleeping on this guy's floor tonight in Springfield Missouri I have a roof I would go on stage and be like hey I don't have a place to stay cuz I I didn't want to spend the 40 on a hotel dude wow so you'd be telling people can I stay at your house I wouldn't even ask I would just say on stage like you look rich can I stay in the boat house and they'd be like all right get in here you crazy kid that's amazing and that's how I survived on the road for like ever wow so how many times you think you did that countless that was my move that was straight up my move and you stayed in people's houses yeah cuz I learned it from like punk rock like we would play only all ages shows so you would either stay in the venue you'd stay in the squat or someone would bring you home and like you'd hear them have a conversation with their girlfriend in the next room and then she'd be like loud and he'd be she'd you guys got to be help by 6 a.m. you know but we had a roof over our head you know and then you had the next day and that sense of purpose that you have on the road is so pure you have a destination that night you have a thing you need to accomplish right right right and like luckily I read like cuz I came from like like I really admired like SST records like early 80s like hardcore like that's where I came from and I remember reading I think it was Henry Rollins book get in the van where the first trip he did with Black Flag they practiced for like two months in LA and they got real good when he joined the band and then their first tour date was in Oklahoma and like 12 kids came and he was like [ __ ] this why are we working so hard this sucks and then the bass player Chuck dukowski was like no no no it's not their fault that no one else showed up we're going to give them Black Flag they came to see Black Flag we're giving them black flag and that defined my experience doing standup where it's like yeah I would go do the show there'd be 20 people there but the next time I go to Omaha there's going to be 40 people there cuz I [ __ ] left it all on the field I I was crushing just so I could survive you know it was a survival mechanism right and I think that that really helped me in my career cuz I like had so much at stake every show yeah isn't an interesting thing like if you go to a show and there's only 100 people and it's a 300 SE venue you're upset that only 100 but that's 100 people people that paid money to came out to see you treat them treat them to like like you're so happy they're there appreciate them like don't God we're so caught up in keeping up with the Joneses it's so dumb it's like the that's another like dumb human resource based Instinct comparison yeah the wor the death of Happiness yep yeah it's great quote Yeah is i that's the row I think it's the row yeah yeah isn't it probably he's always saying cool stuff he said a lot of cool [ __ ] out in that pond but it's like you can't compare yourself to your friends no like if I compared myself to Shane I would be like Crest Fall Fallen what I am is happy for Shane and his rise is so good for comedy in general and he's been so generous you know he put my special on his channel like he doesn't have to do any of these things and I told Shane that he's inherently punk rock and he rolled his eyes you know because he's from the middle of Pennsylvania and punk rocks for homos or whatever you know but I was like Punk rocks for that guy with the queer tattoo exactly yeah that guy's punk rock but so Shane's ethos he brought his friends with him he built this stuff he did everything independently is this Twain nice no way really wonder he stole it from interesting okay comparison is the thief of Joy yeah thief's a better word the death of Joy Roosevelt said thief of Joy but who was first I don't know who was before uh when was Roosevelt Roosevelt was post Twain yeah so probably heard it from Twain and snatched it Allah Joe Biden have you ever heard what Twain did for uliss us Grant no so like Grant's the president but everyone thinks he's this like insane booze bag because he got busted being drunk One Time on watch so he becomes president leads the Union Army but then the money wears out so he's like on a train uiss S Grant and uh [ __ ] oh and his brother like spent all of his money his son was a total [ __ ] up like he has no cash and this guy's like hey would you write your Memoir and I'll publish it for my publishing company and I'll give you like a th000 bucks and he only seees us Grant's like for sure that's awesome and then Twain hears this and he's like don't sign that deal I'll publish your book myself and you'll make so much more money like and uliss Grant was like but I made a promise to a man and I am a man and I must honor my word and Twain's like okay pump the brakes on that ulyses so he publishes uls S Grant's book and it becomes a national bestseller and changed his life and gave him all this money oh wow yeah and they would have sold him down the river they would have given him a thousand bucks to have a bestselling novel wow you know or not novel mem that's what I had heard about that yeah yeah Mark TW was a I think he was the first comic I agree yeah right he would read funny things in front of people and they would laugh and he had to because he didn't have any money oh yeah it's like when Jeremy pivon hits the road so when Twain did that he didn't have money back then like I think he well publishing deal he was the first like dude who harnessed the reins of his own production and like writing I think Dickens did that to a certain degree too but he owned the publishing and he would like sell it himself but then he hit the road I can't remember why but I think it was a cash grab and he did these public speaking engagements where he would do bits and stuff no kidding I think so oh I could be conflating him and someone else but I think that that's that kind of makes sense that kind of makes sense youd like oh how can I make some money here do tours like you're' seen a lot of podcasters do that now for sure like tuer Carlson does that now he does like Arenas Jord of course yeah these people they do these tours where they just like oh look got to make hay by the sun shining I get it you got to cash in a momentum when you have it it's the hardest thing to a crew I get it too especially if you don't have jokes oh dude if we're just used to doing stuff in front of audiences these guys they they look look at that as like some Frontier that they have to yeah and like oh we have [ __ ] tents out there we we've been living out here for a hundred years oh yeah we're BNS man you want some [ __ ] camel milk yeah Sam tal can't even feel comfortable his own house can't because I'm just so used to being like what are we doing today what's our purpose the people that haven't experienced that before like Jordan like it was telling me how much it wears on you yeah like yeah yeah it wears on you it wears on you when you fly like I just flew uh from Vegas on Sunday morning it wears on you that day you're like wrecked for no reason you're not and also I have a hard time like spending the money to move up front M you know like I I spent $600 once to fly back from Australia in in the first in first class and it was an insane deal and my wife was like do it dude and then the whole time I was sitting up there I was just pissed at myself for being such a boua pig the needed to be comfortable that's going to be a problem as you become more successful I know that'll be an issue yeah there's a lot of um I mean one time there's one thing that definitely happens is people develop this sort of Crisis you know the impostor syndrome sort of thing that happens when you become famous and when you become successful I don't have imposter syndrome I know I'm good at the job what I have is turning your on your IDE of like punk rock like dumpsters that thing's hard for me to get over right and I see what you're saying well I know a lot of people that get the impostor syndrome thing too because when success comes at a very high level it becomes baffling like you're hanging out with famous people it doesn't make sense it feels weird feel it's so weird to be in this room you know what I mean it's so strange to me dude like I'm really grateful to be here but it is just like also weird to remember how far away from this room I was for such a long time that's funny yeah well this room's been around well not this one but one of them been around for 15 years which is that's crazy too that's hard to believe yeah perspective is such a warping experience yeah how far you've come as you get more successful you're going to get weird with money it's going to feel weird to you it's not what you make it's what you save yeah but it's like what do you do with it like I think of money as fun coupons sure that's how I think of it like how much fun can I have with this I think of it is safety it can be taken away at any moment sure that's up to a point once you pass a certain bank account number then it becomes fun coupons I remember when I had my first comma in my bank account I called my dad nice got a comma Dad yeah dude yeah commas are nice but it's like um the thing is you're still going to be you yeah you're not going to you don't have to sleep in the back of the bus and you don't have to [ __ ] you don't have to do anything stupid to just prove that you used to be poor you don't have to self flatulate yourself yeah but there also like you have all these fun coupons why do you have them if you're not going to spend them should be spending them oh I mean I'm burning them down did you get a nice car no I have a 2007 Chevy Impala I don't have a bunch of like you know cool jewelry thought you got a nice watch is my wife got this for me it's was $400 it's a beautiful watch it's a great watch what kind of watch is that it's a boua oh it's pretty but I do spend money on dining and I do spend money on like you know if my sister-in-law you know wants something nice for our niece I'm like well here's three different models of that nice thing you want oh that's Co that's like how I like shower people with that's great love and affection no that's definitely cool but I did spend like you should get a nice car $50,000 on dining if uh you didn't feel like a bgea pig driving a car what kind of car would you drive I would like a very safe car you know what I want dude is I want a Ford Astro van or I want one of those like benzes those like passenger vans that they have like skateb teams right around them that's what I want you could have that and put a podcast studio in the back no I could we were going to do that yeah we had talked about that in La remember Jamie M this be pretty sweet for S yeah we talked about taking one look at that look at that plus you can take naps in there too like if you have to park somewhere like you to be somewhere for a little bit and you have some time take nap in the back I wish I could nap no really I have a really hard time napping really yeah it's like I can't turn my brain off in the middle of the day wow yeah it sucks that sucks it's really bad for radio exactly that oh so once you're up you're up for the whole day yeah oh I know and then there's just an amount of coffee you tri jerking off I've dabbled that's usually the best turns out it's pretty cool sleep button it is pretty cool but I do like like to conserve that Essence for my wife I hear you save all your loads save every load man I come home and I batter my beautiful life that's honorable yeah um nothing else you try melatonin or anything else sleep mask anything it's just like laying in a bed in the middle of the day you can't shut your brain off can't do it dude yeah well [ __ ] [ __ ] radio I guess no I know yeah that's it that's the only solution the only solution is [ __ ] radio I mean and I like had to like medical with my like managers I was like I really can't do radio cuz I can't go back to bed and then people will come out for two shows and they'll get a worse version of the show that right you know yeah it's a big difference too man when you're really tired and you looking at that 10:00 show you're like [ __ ] you already did the 7 o' show you're taking a break the merch line and you're sitting down and you're [ __ ] really tired like you're literally yawning and then ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Chuckle Hut right who's ready to laugh come on you can do better than that right who's ready to laugh and due to like the different groups of like the vend diagrams that create the people who come to see me are like Stan hope Shane kill Tony you so these people have very high expectations comedy right so I always feel like I really got to do a good job that's the best way to feel Always Forever for sure keep that forever I get nervous for every show every show I do even now me too yeah and I thought it get easier once they were coming to see you nope worse harder PA yeah harder yeah you got to keep that that's forever yeah I hope I keep that forever that's the same thing with a lot of stuff when when you care about something you should be nervous you should feel a little giddy about it a little excited like not not without confidence I have confidence I do stand up every night I have plenty of confidence but the feeling should be like this is a real thing that's about to go down this is a melding of the minds with me and all these people in this crowd and this this is going to be fun yeah I I got to get in that mindset I got to feel it I got to how much time do I have I 15 minutes primate posture yeah I do some deep breathing exercises I stretch out I drink some water maybe have an espresso let's [ __ ] go yeah yeah I literally got this tattoo to remind myself that it's fun it says this is fun W that's my miking hand so I'd like see my wrist and it reminds me while I'm on stage that this is fun great that's great that should be a thing that everybody in your your group does should make it like a brand Like A Nazi swastic on the back so we can all come quick yeah this is fun why you jerking off the same hand too right that's fun too my uh my well my podcast chubby Behemoth we all got matching tattoos for like a patreon goal what' you guys get just like this like Ninja Turtle like on our thighs this guy bako that's like the avenging Ninja Turtle that we rifted yeah so like now we're all marked forever nice yeah why not it's fun dude there's no such thing as forever I have a go bananas tattoo with all the Go bananas boys right here on my wrist oh go bananas The Comedy Club oh that's hilarious there's a bunch of those go bananas I think there's one in New Jersey too there's bananas in New Jersey oh go bananas is completely independently own they came up with that idea on their own yeah we were we didn't even know about bananas when we open up goas no way what are you talking about oh that's funny I I thought they were all the same company no I don't think so so you have a go bananas tattoo yeah right there just the banana just the banana the banana boys I wonder if anybody's got a Mothership tattoo yet probably the logo the alien head dude people get tattoos of you people get tattoos of my book e they'll get like running the light [ __ ] on their body and I'm like what were you going through when this happened hopefully good hopefully they're in a good place yeah um yeah there's like hundreds of tattoos in my face out there it's very strange and they're not the most glamorous version of your face either I don't think I have a glamorous First It's usually the one where you're like yeah it's usually some crazy face from yelling about something looks like you're coming fire oh boy yeah yeah or I got kin how do you say that the hot sauce on my dick how do you say it a caps capin that that's one of them words that I never say that I just read capin yeah you know like a generally that's a read word like there's certain words you're like how do I say this one I know what it is but how do I how do I say that I'm always using pretentious words that I read and then I mispronounce them so you look pretentious and stupid at the same time the real problems if you talk to an A person who actually knows what the [ __ ] they're talking about and you're throwing those words around uhhuh tumbling some of my biggest L's have been in that exact situation yeah well you know pretentiousness is kind of gross I was emailing this lady Emma Klein who's an author I admire and I like spelled her last name wrong throughout the email oh no I know I like you know told her I read all three of her books oh no it's on the cover oh no yeah how does she spell it d l i n e oh yeah and I thought it was k l e i n very stupid I told the people at random house that I just got a book deal with random house and she's on the same roster you should send her a letter again I should about how stupid you feel talked about it on a podcast yes now can we be friends she didn't answer the emails your memory's [ __ ] cuz you've been sleeping on people's floors in random houses fora Remember When happened Kino that was big yeah everybody thought they were going to get healthy with some bizarre new grain oh yeah yeah this one's got a lot of protein oh it's so good for you it's better than buckwheat it just tastes like [ __ ] it's the worst tastes like nothing and like we wouldn't make any money at these shows but they would have a big quinoa dinner one time bro we had to have a talk back in Lancing Michigan at this like a hardcore Anarchist home and after the show they were like would you guys mind doing a TalkBack about your political ideals and the singer of course was like hell yeah so they're like how do you guys align politically and the singer's like I'm into bakunin and then the bass player was like I think Emma Goldman told the truth and then they were like what about you and I was like I'm selling CDs and t-shirts cuz these ideals aren't going to keep the van going so have fun in here but please come buy one of these hand screen t-shirts that I made uh yeah it's just very funny when like your ideals actually hit reality well be those Fringe communities like an anarchist Community like that that the I'm always fascinated by people that like whether they're furries whatever it is like these bizarre Fringe communities that have their own sort of language way of looking at things and things they all accept that most people don't what Kool-Aid they've all drank collectively yeah jugal are the best one oh really yeah cuz jugal are like wild people but they will give you the shirt off their back CU they're all about family cuz like for the most part they're like from poor places they might be gross you know yeah traditionally but man jugal will take you in they're the best yeah shout out to the Jugo Nation man they're cool did you do a lot of jugal shows I I mean I grew up in eastern Colorado so I had a lot of jugal friends oh wow but then whenever I see Jugos at shows now they're always like first in line at the merch they'll buy everything you have at the table they're awesome what an amazing sort of movement the Insane Clown posi out of all people out of all groups of people created yeah kind of nuts I think it proves there's no God that's pure chaos no way that came from a maybe it does prove there's a God because God enjoys all kinds of different humans interacting in all sorts of bizarre ways he enjoys chicken hunting yeah he enjoys everything I think Big J's doing the gathering this year I would fly in for that show dude big J is going to do well Big J's perfect for that he's so good at riffing yeah so this is the Insane Clown posy jug Gathering yeah just a [ __ ] Gathering of Misfits they're having fun they're sharing what they have bunch of people with IQs like someone on a versa CL dancing around banging into each other I've met some like worldly jug man really I met this guy who was a professor at Duke for a while and then he like tapped out and his midlife crisis was becoming a jugal w he's like there's just a purity to what they do and I was enchanted that's interesting well if you wanted to look at it from a human psychological perspective that is there is a purity to it because there's no pretention involved at all in being a jugler yes yeah I hate I loathe pretention because I think I'm guilty of it a lot cuz I like read books and stuff mm and you want people to know you read books well yeah but you can't talk about books with people you can with some people yeah but like they'll be like I love sci-fi and fantasy and I'm like well that's lower fiction you want talk about Sherwood Anderson let's have a conversation um some sci-fi and fantasy is lower fiction but there's some really good [ __ ] I know Neil Blan comp how do you say his last name I always [ __ ] his name Blan Camp I always [ __ ] his name love the guy though um but he uh set me hip to this science fiction vampire book that I [ __ ] love it's really good let me um get the name of it it's like blindsight or something like that remember now you're saying I remember him telling that story yeah let me let me find it cuz I have it in my my phone it's really good though I Met George R Martin oh did you really yeah he came to see I was opening for Bert in New Mexico and George RR Martin came wow George RR Martin came to see Bert yeah that's in Santa Fe that's incredible yeah uh this is it it's uh Peter Watts it's called Blind sight and it's a it's a science fiction Space movie about alien about well vampires okay and the vampires it's it's it's kind of like I'm going to [ __ ] it up but the story is that these vampires they they take some sort of medication there's some sort of a medical thing that they do to keep them from feast ing on people but that they did exist and that they had always existed and that someone that they they were killed off because you know they were killing everybody and then we' kind of relegated them to myth and F and then someone cloned one and brought it back and then they they started having more V and the vampires would go into space with them yeah because so so they it's a space journey with this vampire who can like read minds and manipulate people and he's like but he doesn't act on his like most based of most horrible instincts and they're out there interacting with aliens yeah it's very good I mean you had me at vampire D it's [ __ ] good I'm [ __ ] it up I'm paraphrasing because I wasn't prepared to talk about it right yeah I had I had I read it like two years ago okay whenever when Neil was on how long was that about a couple years ago he's actually a predator from the pene era I think that's right ah he's Alle leged be far smarter than Baseline humans yeah it's a really really good book that stuff sounds good oh it's good it's good it's really well crafted I'm just like a realist when it comes to literature I love reading about like men risking their lives for like $80 those are my favorite novels oh really yeah like very low reward compared to the risk like what give me an example Like Larry Brown uh a lot of cormack McCarthy books are like that cormack McCarthy was amazing he's the he's the goat yeah he's the best yeah that's uh there's something about writing about the stuff that he writes about too like that Western style yeah kind of like the just the reality of the existence did you see um any of the Yellowstone um pre-shows like 18 what is it 1883 no is that what it is 1923 and 1883 1883 right 1883 is [ __ ] insane really it's insane it like Deadwood esque well it's realistic is what it is it's like a realistic depiction of what it was like when people made their way across the country on wagons and how how people were lost along the way yeah you know but it's just the way it's done is it's so good dude if you like this kind of stuff dude you should read warlock which is exactly what you just described oh yeah it's like a postmodern Western it's really cool yeah yeah it's like an easy one to like get lost in a postmodern Western yeah it's like a self-aware western like the guy uses all like the trappings of the traditional Western but then he runs it through like his lens is like literary author it's really [ __ ] good well I mean just think about how crazy this [ __ ] country is like 400 years ago it was just Native Americans that's it just Indian tribes everywhere and then this yeah and that that quick little Bing so fast out of nowhere nuts and the stories about people deciding that they were going to come here from Europe and didn't even speak English and made it across the [ __ ] the planes on with wagons and lost half the people every time yeah and they had to eat a couple people yeah and then they get to the Rocky Mountains and they're like hey we're good we're going to stay right here then the true psychos were the ones who got through the Rockies man yeah well that's what I always said about Texas cuz like the this the thing about this country is right the people that are here that weren't Native Americans everybody and their ancestors started in the East and made their way west and then the people got to Texas said y'all go ahead we're going to hang out here and [ __ ] yeah we're good here just put up fences and started going nuts there's a lot of Bison around here it'll be fun but a lot of people kept going and then the people that did keep going are the most filled with wander lust like Californians were the most like open-minded I mean it the the state is like completely Fallen but the the the ethic of it the ethos of the state Still Remains for a lot of people and it was like that was the place where people grew that that people went to when they were fed up with the way the East Coast was they didn't like the h hostility they wanted to be more creative and free and they made their way to San Francisco and they made their way to La yeah and it was just that was the last place you could go before you went to Hawaii like there's no else to go there's nowhere else to go so it would just make sense that those people would be the ones that would be pushing the boundaries I mean think about like in the 1960s at least like the amount of entertainment the amount of Music the amount of culturally changing content yeah that came out of Los Angeles in the west coast it's [ __ ] nuts man it's if you saw it on a chart a graph like how much amazing [ __ ] came out of La in those decades it's crazy and like how exponential the next great thing was yes you know that's what I always think about is just like how quickly in the last 200 years that curve has sharpened yeah had so much Innovation over the last 200 years that's like bananas compared to the rest of human history it's nuts what we've achieved and what we're going through right now is going to change all that multitudes it's going to be beyond the printing press beyond the invention of the internet oh yeah whatever the [ __ ] the AI thing is when it everyone's just guessing what it's going to be like but whatever it is it's going to be like that vampire on that spaceship 100% 100% we're going to be trapped with a superior Predator exactly and it's not going to have emotions either and if it does it'll engineer those out like what are these stupid things what's the point of these yeah these things aren't helping anything I don't even have a dick emotions are interesting yeah cuz it's like people who are beholden to their emotions when they like make it your problem CU they're experiencing obviously if you're mentally ill that's one thing but if you're just like a person who's like bummed and you want to put that on me it's like grow up everyone deals with all of these things I'm just not going to project it upon you and make your time worse well a lot of it's patterns and they learn the patterns from their family no you're very right unfortunately you're very right it's real hard if you grow up with morons it's really hard to break free and and think clearly mhm and then you also have this like we weird energy that you get from your family and the way they look at things like some families they just wo is me forever right then those patterns give you comfort because they remind you of when you were safe and they also don't know what to talk about so they come you know my [ __ ] job I swear to God I wish I could quit I [ __ ] hate it they come home and you're like oh no not this again we're so lucky that all of our friends are the funniest people alive oh we're so lucky that's the best part of stand up we say it all the time in that green room we're like we are so lucky to be here we're so lucky especially when you consider how you first started you know the the earliest days to be here now it's just bananas yeah Ron White handing me a cigar will never not lose its charm it's always so cool just hanging out with him is always weird to me that's why I bought that stupid cult house I just can't believe Ron White's my friend I like I'll listen to him I'll listen to him yeah man he was the first guy here too by the way everybody accredits me with like getting people to move here but he got me to move here he was the first guy he moved I he got me thinking about moving here before the pandemic cuz he moved here I think in 2017 or 18 and uh I go what are you doing in Austin you well still got my house in Beverly Hills but I'll tell you what I [ __ ] love it here he goes when I'm traveling I'm in the middle of the country flights are quick people are nice food's great I play golf and I was like damn he goes my son lives here he loves it maybe Austin's the spot Colorado had a shot at you man did I remember when that happened when you moved up to Boulder for BL on my wife she got pregnant I understand when she got pregnant we had to go back but yeah I was I was planning on just going Buck Wild in Denver yeah that's that was my plan it would have been so valuable to that City well we could always do a Mothership there one day I think that's a good candidate for a Mothership I bet when Wendy wants to sell she would talk to you well if Wendy wanted to sell I'd be interested I love her she's the greatest she's the best she's like my mom now she's such a great lady she let me have my mom's wake at her Club oh really and paid for all the food and everything oh man she's the greatest that's cool we had Ron White's mom's wake at our club yeah um when Wendy um when I when I did my 2014 Comedy Central special I did it on purpose at the Denver Comedy Works because I'm like I want to do it at Wendy's place of course she's just such a a good Force for comedy and just understands comedy and is really kind to people and good to the opening act but tough as Nails bro cuz she had to fight up from being a waitress she was a waitress at the club and now she owns it you have to be tough as Nails yeah to be in this crazy business I always told comedians be nice to these club Owners because you don't want to be them right and then I had to be one yeah and also be nice to the servers be nice to everyone everybody be nice to everybody always always be nice to everybody again because it will benefit you not because it's the right thing to do but because it'll make your life easier when they end up running the club or become managers or agents or whatever also it's just it feels better next time you see them it's good for everybody it's good for you it's good for them everybody's friendly you hug everybody yay we're all here together yeah fun times you know and she's she's done a great job of having she has a real Community there you know that's one of the reasons why uh when I wanted to escape from La this is 2009 when I wanted to do my first escape from La um I chose Colorado but I wanted to be in the [ __ ] Woods that's where I [ __ ] up I [ __ ] up because I tried to I pushed my wife too hard I pushed her to the crazy place I pushed I'm like let's live in the woods let with a baby on the top of a [ __ ] Mountain we lost a dog to a mountain lion Jesus yeah like we were in like while we were there I guess it was actually before we moved there a bear broke into one of the neighbors cars and ate his seats cuz the bear thought that the seats were leather and leather is food I guess a bear can smell so good that they can smell the hide and so he just ate his seats just took just opened the door man the Bears know how to open doors wow they get habituated to people and it's a real problem because uh once they find out that you have garbage cans they never stop coming to your house and then once they eat your car they always they keep coming they keep coming so I went I I tried too hard I eating a car is so funny I left I left too far I went too far out I should have been in Boulder proper in the city but even then that the problem was when a woman is pregnant the um atmosphere of Denver and even of you know anywhere around 5,000 ft it's rough and Colorado has one of the highest premature birth rates because of the lack of oxygen apparently yeah it's really rough on pregnant women it's like having the flu so we went back to Los Angeles for something I forget we went and then immediately she felt better and I was really like and then we talked to the doctor the whole deal like yeah it's really bad to be especially if your body's not acclimated if you just move there and then all a sudden you're pregnant just it was too rough but I always had this I always had this itch to get back there like to get back to the mountain areas above Boulder are so amazing the flat irons oh dude you can't like you're driving down the road you're like am I in a [ __ ] movie or is this how I get to my house cuz this seems like a movie it seemed too good I always say that it's like what we we all love everyone loves art you know you love look at this painting or cool sculpture it's a thing that like your mind interacts like wow it's amazing but nature is that times a million in real nature like mountains and trees and this sunlight like going through the leaves it's like oh my God it's incredible yeah it's like your day is enriched by the just the beauty of it all and also you're humbled by it oh yeah it's a good thing for the soul you get to feel small you feel so [ __ ] small surrounded by uncaring just nature yeah and it's just insanely beautiful there's I don't know why human beings register Beauty when it comes to like objects and stuff I wonder like what evolutionary benefit is it to look at a flower and go God that's amazing yeah like what is that like also the flower rewards you with smell and you can touch the petals and that's a sensual experience yeah that's that's good that's a good way of looking at it yeah but there's a lot of things that are beautiful it's like why why I guess a lake is beautiful because there's food in there so you like get excited by the blue W means it's not polluted like oh because you see a brown Water Lake it doesn't look great oh yeah Reservoir Lakes yeah there's one in Fort cins catfish Pond like you ever seen those uh people that go noodling of course cover their hands in dog food I've noodled man have you no I noodled in Mississippi one time did you ever get a catfish no you tried yeah that is a wild up to my armpit in mud just waiting that's such a wild activity yeah but hey you get food out of it oh you get a lot of food those [ __ ] things are huge when they pull them out you see them wrestling with them dude and they're just like smacking them against it's a [ __ ] 50 lb fish that's attached to your arm trying to pull you into its hole Yeah into the mud or you can [ __ ] up and get a snapping turtle you get a snapping turtle or a carp God forbid you get a guard carp won't bother me but a snapping turtle bothers the [ __ ] out of me here we go look at that look at that [ __ ] that's prehistoric oh that's a Lady Hannah Baron I follow her on uh Instagram that was the she's always noodling good for her yeah she's like a cute Southern Girl Who uh goes noodling for catfish and goes hunting and there's like a whole industry of like hot girls who go hunting it's a good it's a good racket look at the size of that [ __ ] fish man look at that thing that thing is so massive wow that mean you could eat that for three or four days I'd like to eat a couple things in that video I hear you here come on come on that muddy water don't bother me no no come on the fish is later I want sushi right now yeah ha I want some Taco you know what I'm say um but the uh the the noodling thing like that water don't look good that doesn't look beautiful no it feeds off that you know like that's where it's getting its nutrients it's from the mud but you fry it up it's not bad oh they're delicious yeah yeah there's a lot of things that are ugly as [ __ ] they're like they used to think of lobsters as poor people food mhm n nuts it's the best they serve it to prisoners and [ __ ] they're crazy they used to fish them out of the East River like for bar food yeah they would go like back in the 1800s they go those were chicken tenders those they nachos [ __ ] Lobster it's our favorite food ever it's so good I'm not over it I'm not over it at all when uh I first got my first development deal you know I've been poor my whole life and then I got my first development deal when I was like 24 or something like that 25 I guess I guess I was 25 somewhere around then anyway the point is up until then I'd always been poor and then my manager um contacts me like a couple months later he said do you have a gambling problem and I said no why and he goes you're spending so much money I just thought cuz you know I played a lot of pool I go no dude I'm eating lobster every [Laughter] night I just I had all this money I was like bro I'm going to spend it I didn't have any thought at all about saving it I was like what saving it that was me I just bought a couch I bought like a $9,000 couch for our new home I felt so much guilt yeah you feel guilt for sure but when you sit in that socker you're like oh also for the rest of our lives this is a forever home dude we have may West's couch in the Green Room of the mothership that's how long a couch can hang around for and move around yeah yeah shout out to Peter Shaw shout out to shamani they sold me my couch Peter Shaw gave me the the the the couch that's in the Mother Ship dude that that dude uh is one of the Most Fascinating People has like 12 different degrees oh Peter's brilliant he's so smart dude he s me some [ __ ] that he wrote and it's really he's definitely the smartest of the shores yeah I don't know yeah he's smart he's the one I know but yeah I know all of them Scott's great too the other brother that lives in San Diego he's awesome I love him yeah and Paulie Paulie's awesome too Paulie's like a different human now it's fun he's fun to be changed he's a sweetheart he really is very yeah you know I think listen that kid got famous when he was like 18 years old like that's not good for anybody that's not good for Miley Cyrus I've met so many people that got famous when they were young mcau culan did a podcast with him it's it's poison that was a good pod dude he's an interesting guy I want to befriend to him he's in Paris he's a very smart guy very very smart and interesting and kind and like cool to talk to but you don't get through that and not get [ __ ] up but Paulie you know I mean he was being Babys sa by Sam Kennison like what yeah like he grew up with with his his mom like literally like leave him in the crib let him cry it'll make him funny yeah did I went to a party at Roman pansy's house in Paris what yeah well like I did a show in Paris so his son Elvis was like you must come to my party and I was like we're not going to hang out with you and then someone else was like that's we're it's in Roman pansy's house you should go to the party so we mob deep I told all these Comics we roll in there and then instead of going up when we get to the apartment we have to go down cuz Roman pance he said no party in my house so we had to party in the parking garage below his home oh God it was so I had we had the highest expectations that we were going into shangra La you know but no we just like partied by some shitty Euro TR cars as like a 16-year-old djed the worst music ever and we drank warm beer yeah but palansky did you see him no no I did not but I did go into the apartment to use the bathroom oh it's very nice up there I bet very nice very well-appointed place yeah I mean dude he might be a pedophile but [ __ ] Chinatown it seems like a lot of people are pedophiles back then well it was a different time that's what's crazy like there's songs like Christine 16 let's get a couple more candles on that cake yeah like 16 Candles I need two more boys yeah and then there was the other song she was only 17 and then there was the Rick James song she was 17 but she was sexy jail bait that's on rules what's jail bait which n man oh that's right yeah well he had he had a few issues with that as well just saying he rules it was a different time yeah back then guys like Seinfeld dated that shash lonstein girl she was like 17 she looked like that catfish woman at the time though exact yeah that's what I'm saying age is just a number baby you're like Aristotle yeah like Socrates normal normal stuff Jesus why is everybody so uptight I've never banged a kid but neither have I but I think of it very differently when it's a hot woman and a 17-year-old kid mhm a hot woman and a 17-year-old boy everybody's fine with of course it's a joke throw him a parade exactly yeah but uh uh a 17-year-old girl and a hot man and you're like what's wrong with you you piece of [ __ ] I know you know there was Hemsworth started [ __ ] high school seniors I mean allegedly I don't know you know what I'm saying like he did that story no I I don't think the story exists I think it's fake but I mean those the luckiest girls in the world I know they'd be like oh my God he's so [ __ ] cute yeah you lose your virginity to Hemsworth oh I doubt there's 17-year- old virgins left I don't know these days these kids are [ __ ] yeah they really are they're getting after it they can't get enough of it well they have porn on their phone I know dude they're so warped they're so warped I mean we are running a mass psychology experiment on kids and no one's talking about it no their brains are mushed they have to be yeah they have to be dude it's really hard to have a conversation with young people because they're constantly reaching for their phone they can't stop they can't yeah because they're just getting pure serotonin and the world's at their fingertips well think about podcast it's like the only time that I ever get a chance to talk to someone and not look at my phone at all yeah it's the only time I know normal if you and I were a dinner I might look at my phone real quick I'm I got to text this guy back I find some reason why it's so important i s message yeah show you some funny show you that guy dancing around I'm watching hopefully that's after dinner it's the mint that one might [ __ ] up your appetite yeah like looking in a mirror Jesus maybe that's my new course yeah the Anarchy thing didn't work out but I could kind of rap yeah let see if I can rap do this alone your hotel room in the mirror there's actually two rap songs I did online way clandestine Apostles oh the clandestine Apostles is a great name yeah me and my wife we I I ate an edible with my buddy Pat then yeah we put down a couple tracks oh my God that's awesome but yeah I mean it's just like there's these kids and also there are a lot of really exciting kids doing really cool [ __ ] oh sure like if you grow up with every bit of music if you synthesize that all into something it's going to be new not just every bit of music but every bit of music instantaneously available anytime you want yeah just pull out your phone press a button bam music yeah it's there's never been anything remotely like that it's a valuable tool you have the Library of Alexandria in your hand you really do Apostles let's hear some of this let's go Fu that's me singing the hook an I don't know why you guys didn't make it I don't understand there's no justice in the world this was last year I can't hide behind youth on this one oh no I was hoping you were like 12 no dude this was the 36-year-old Sam talent and his wife a little high that's hilarious I played for Danny Brown once he listened to the whole thing how about that guy last night whose mom became a country music star at 54 excuse me star is a big word you use it like porno star they're all All Stars like there's no por no one says I'm a porn actress they're all pornno stars I texted Tony this morning I was like that was a wild move oh my God it was so wild it was wild they found her and she was she kind of hot kind of was she really hot she was a total babe wow she was smoking blonde and then she had a song in the sun was like yeah she uses AI to write the lyrics like hey shut the [ __ ] up kid that was her son saying it too like Hey kid this is your mom's opportunity to make it as a country star and you're selling her out by saying she gets AI to write the lyrics you [ __ ] yeah that was a bad move I should edit that out so the [ __ ] the kid cuz the kid he he kind of bombed well he was mad mad about he bombed bomed he bombed but he was mad that his mom was out there making legitimate music they just gave her a career last night imagine she look Tony's such a psycho he'll have her come and perform for sure yeah she'll be the cocktail girl well I think Redban followed her and dm'd her on the show followed her on Instagram and DM D what but do you remember what her name was we'll follow her D comma l e e comma l e e but it was like delete. official on Instagram right I think Jamie will find it yeah Jamie's on it right now is it d d e e I don't know if there's an apostrophe on Instagram though can you even use an apostrophe when you sign up for an Instagram name no but like on her Spotify her name was D le right it's D apostrophe le e on Spotify and now the kill Tony fan base is going to descend upon her and the JRE fan base we're talking about King maker let's see the photos of this lady come on man my dick is hard let's go yeah come on I'm close I'm close Jamie I've been edging the whole time me and Sam tal been talking about Coxs for two hours now ever since the Indianapolis thing Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Jamie come on man you're Edge me okay this is the lady oh she's beautiful yeah she's so that's this guy's Mom that's hilarious I think that's her that is hilarious yeah man and then does she really have an only fans or are they [ __ ] no no that's funny yes when he's like do not follow my mom's only fans click on followers make sure this is her yeah that's her she got 70 followers she had 63 last night that's her let's see what she has now 70 Jamie just followed her no I didn't you should follow her I'm not [ __ ] up my algorithm her brain's going to explode [ __ ] up your algorith I'm going to [ __ ] up my algorithm I didn't want to see where this goes I think it's hilarious funny just what the power in your guys's hands you know it is ridiculous it's in the wrong hands for sure but it's also like this lady um like the son being upset that the mother still has a dream oh she's 54 like so what she's alive she's a human being and she's alive yeah now she feels safe she can create now why don't you let her let her go you [ __ ] you single kissing frogs Yeah kissing frogs that's her number 53 in the top 100 uh country chart she's a babe that's like the Bill Hicks joke about uh Iraq was the fifth largest army like yeah but after the first three there's a huge drop off Salvation Army's number four like she's number 53 like what's okay what's 52 did you ever know oi Joe Prader I did not no damn that guy's so fascinating yeah yeah he has a special on YouTube and it's him doing like every hack line that guys did but I think he was the first to do them like he chugs a beer and he's like that's all I learned in college you know that's his opener I think he was a hack I think so I I don't think it was like he wrote them I think they were out there well Hicks told a story about oy Joe when he got real fat and he would have to go on stage at the beginning of the show and they throw a sheet over him so he would just be on stage because he was immobile so the whole show hosts feature and then ladies and gentlemen oie Joe Prader and they would pull the sheet off of him oh my God cuz he was like you know a big wad but I guess one time he was smoking under the sheet and he caught it on fire they caught on fire yeah man couldn't go to the opener and then the middle without a cigarette oh oh that's hilarious yeah he'd be under there with like a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bunch of sigs there's a photo of him at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and it's him standing next to the commed store was it a van or a limo I forget but he's it's so crazy how big he is he's also like 5'4 he looks like your 7 Sam from OB he's a ball he's basically a ball and he probably weighs 500b rounds mhm that's how Ralph he was especially at the end this hly Joe Prader oh so he's thinner back then yeah this is him and his prime Sleek Ali Joe prer yeah this is before he had to go on stage with a sheet imagine them accommodating that oh they had to figure out roll out a 600 lb guy I could go but I need a sheet a prospector look at this the old days Richard PR is that uh Dave Kenner who's that on the right oh that's um [ __ ] what's his name Renegade white man someone whoa doesn't come oh he had a MySpace so Myspace is still a thing he died in 91 so I don't think did you think Myspace is like radio in terms of like how many tickets you sell like how is that what is this this is homepage for Myspace was on there wow what is it featured go to featured what does it say I'm on featured oh okay artist of the day click artist of the day Who's the artist of the day see it says there what's the artist of the day this is how we used to book tours when I was in that what day is this that this is made is this like a from 2008 or is this real so the the pictures aren't loading so I it might not be it might not be up anymore there's no 20177 so that was the so they gave up in 2017 gave up the ghost didn't like Justin Timberlake buy it or some [ __ ] I don't know company he own or he was part of yeah they bought it like for assets probably and that was the key for assets that's how you got bad shows at squats the he'd be on MySpace well once Dane Cook became famous on MySpace then everybody figured out like oh my God you can actually get famous on the internet yeah he was the first guy for sure to get June 2011 they purchased it for 35 mlion I I could have saved them a lot of money I said hey guys you can give them $35 what they think they were going to do breathe life into this corpse they made money okay what does it say got bought a couple years later oh some some other [ __ ] bought it time time bought it for 87 million that's time I could have saved you some money too yeah eight years later you are so much better off coming up with your own new social media site than trying to resurrect one the people have abandoned maybe they like own the music that was posted on there well the weird one about myspace is it was so popular and then not almost like that Facebook but I mean how did it lose that many people it wasn't cool anymore Facebook became cool and young people wanted to be on Faceook for old people but it's still alive cuz old people for the most part because of healthcare advances these people they managed to hang in there longer they got better medic oh yeah these folks are staying around how they can post oh my God I love reading people comp post about like immigration or America or like what's wrong with this country or bringing Jesus back into the school system I love it and I love like reading the arguments in the comments I love it oh yeah I love it yeah it's good that they have a place to have these insane conversations where it's also saved for everyone to watch forever I read them when when everyone in my house is asleep like when everyone in my house is asleep and I'm crft standing before I write one of the things I do is I'll go on Facebook and just read people's rants like the [ __ ] are you angry about it the Dairy Queen in Sturges just [ __ ] people married the they need to fix these potholes like what you know the problem is the money's all going to the immigrants like it's like they're I heard Trump say they're bottoming out our social security they're just chronicling the decay of Middle America there's going to be a Civil War in this country I'll tell you what a rain's going to let's hope not you [ __ ] Jesus Christ don't be summoning that [ __ ] like a demon I know dude I'll be how about we all figure out that we're being played and come together on important issues like real what what's real Freedom godamn it be whatever the [ __ ] you want to be leave everybody alone be nice yeah everybody you do it over there I'll do it over here and yeah and if I want go over there and watch let me watch a little bit of that for sure you see that fat guy dance around exactly and I'll teach you how to clean a gun I'll show you how to Sho a bow and arrow yeah let's have fun the we're way more connected in this country than we are separate everybody wants the same thing yeah just we need to get that in our head and no one's telling us that everyone's telling us that there's these battles for our our our existence the very soul of this nation yeah the soul of democracy the Democracy democracy this isn't even a democracy [ __ ] it's a it's a republic and it's an oligarchy really yeah yeah it's just corporations on the country it is now yeah the money it's just people lost their way like the guys who founded this country they did a great job of like preparing for the worst oh yeah but they didn't understand how big it was going to get they how could they also if you love freedom of speech and freedom of religion and freedom to gather you also then have to love the Second Amendment yeah like that's the big thing that divides me from like my more liberal friends is like they're into all freedoms except for the one that like allows you to protect yourself and your family you know what I mean well I understand why they do it I do I understand why they feel that way it's because gun violence is abor it's a horrible thing you hear about gun violence is terrible it's an American problem it is an American problem but but the problem exists right so we don't live in a utopian world where people don't try to impose themselves on you and especially like for someone who's not physically strong strong or large it's the great equalizer if a woman is being attacked the great equalizer is a gun it's not karate it's just not as a person who's a martial artist for their whole life I'm telling you now it's not the move the move is a gun yeah some [ __ ] [ __ ] breaks into your house and wants to rape you and you're a woman the answer is a gun right and the cops take too long to get there for sure and then you defunded the cops because you thought you're being cute because you wanted to show you weren't racist and now guess what it's way worse for everybody including the people of color including the people especially the people live in bad communities cuz the cops are never going there now so all the people that want to avoid all that [ __ ] and the cops are the only thing keeping the Wolves away from the door now you're dealing with it head on and those are the people that calling for the refunding of the police the people in these [ __ ] up neighborhoods that's why you need guns you know and it's not like the argument to like have guns to protect yourself against the government the government will nuke you the government can throw send in drones you know like I don't think that like a bunch of people that are capable with submachine guns are going to be able to defend against the [ __ ] all-time greatest army in the world yeah you know but it is like you know you have a little piece of mind and you can buy a little bit of uh you can sleep a little bit Sounder knowing you got that 9mm in the drawer it helps yeah and it's also you know the idea that the government well here's the problem the government is people right so the military's people and the people that are in the military are the least likely to go along with this idea cuz most of them are blue caller you most of them are lower middle class lower class like they're people that are struggling in this world and they don't have trust in this [ __ ] institution that's telling you to attack their neighbors cuz the neighbors are not compliant with some evil dictators good luck pulling that [ __ ] off that's where Civil War happens that's where Civil War that's when the Army has to turn its guns on their friends and family that's going to be a real tough cell yeah I think the ideological Civil War is much more likely to take place that something some some existential notion something that we all agree is the end of our our Society our civilization as we know it if we don't do X Y or Z and then on one side people oppose it and one side people support it and then they start stripping rights away and they start like fueling the Flames to get this done it's it's really possible that we could have a civil war in this country the way people are so divided left and right today is bizarre fully accentuated by not just social media but social media that's being operated by other countries yeah a lot like we talk about this before but 19 of the top 20 Facebook Christian pages are run by Russian trolls wow 19 yeah so there's 20 of the top Christian sites on Facebook millions of people are interacting 19 of them are run by Russian troll farms and the other one's the Westboro Baptist Church you would hope that one of would be legit yeah you know one one would be legit but there's a lot of [ __ ] online and it's because we're so susceptible to [ __ ] it would we love it yeah makes sense that it's an easy solution it's what this quotable thing that I read on my aunt's Facebook you know do you think that um comedy's going to be affected by AI uh no because comedy's like one of the only live things that you have to do yeah you know you have to see it live for it to be very good you can watch comedy specials yeah but they're not as good as being in the room I think that we're protected by that and an AI comedy special as of lately as of and again it changes so fast it's so quick but the ones that I've seen like the George Carlin one they made up and they suck M they just feel fake yeah yeah it lacks the human heart the soul of the thing isn't in there it lacks a the signature of a an the the individual an actual soul and you can't teach timing you know is AI going to learn timing I wonder all these little like intangible parts of being a good standup I think It ultimately will will ai go and start doing crowd work when they're bombing no I don't think it's going to be able to perform in front of a crowd I think but AI specials might be a thing well because they've already got really good AI rap songs for sure yeah and AI deep fakes you know yeah the crazy pornography you can see oh yeah crazy [ __ ] and everybody's [ __ ] yeah yeah Putin banging Marilyn Monroe oh yeah yeah it's good stuff yeah yeah get I mean if you imagine if like that's what porn becomes like instead of you know you like oh it's like taking advantage of these people like no no no these aren't even real people right this is just like this is a fantasy this lady gets stuck in the dryer and she's asking you to pull her out with your [ __ ] it's the only way and it's also your ex from college you can like upload her Instagram into the Matrix and then next thing you know you're jinking off to this unrequited love and then the government finds out that you're doing that and they Stormtroopers break down your door and find her and you with your pants down on the computer like then you go to thought police jail hey man that's one of the better jails you can go to for mind crimes right as opposed to violent crime jail probably cool neighbors oh for sure they're in jail with thought police people curious people yeah interesting people just asking questions just trying to find out yeah inquisitive Souls I just want to know why can't I jerk off to this deep fake of my high school sweetheart what am I doing not hurting anyone yeah what's like the argument for like give pedophiles like AI porn of children you know cuz then they can like satisfy their terrible urge I've heard even worse I've heard give them robot dolls of course I've heard that too but I think that's a bridge too far you know it's all a bridge too far it's all [ __ ] weird because they're trying so many people are trying to equate pedophilia with what they're calling minor attracted persons I know they're trying to Rebrand it how weird how weird that they would give that one a go the ultimate Evil yeah let's let's put a new spin on this why would you want to give that one a go remember New Coke well we've got new pedophiles but isn't it just like it's indicative of this thing that we're talking about that most people aren't even really thinking about things clearly yeah they're just subscribing mhm well it's easy if someone you think is smart tells you you know what to think then you are unburdened by having to make your own decisions especially if it seems compassionate yeah like you're being kind to these people that are just minor attracted persons I know it's not their fault yeah they're born that way it's like great they're born that way but if they act upon it they should be beheaded yeah you know in This Time Square oh yeah for all to see make an example of them yeah make an example cover them in honey feed them to ants problem is the media is completely full of [ __ ] and so is the government and they would decide you know Sam talent's been making a lot of noise I don't want to be the face of this movement show let's upload some [ __ ] nasty [ __ ] onto his computer which they definitely have done before to people yeah and then you know you have to defend it and so then all of a sudden there's newspapers Sam talent in jail for porn right trial porn like oh my God yeah that's all I need and then the people are out there hang him hang him hang well no news is bad news you know yeah it help me sell in certain markets it probably would in certain places they were like I like that guy the great pedophile comedian yeah like New Mexico where they used to send the pedophile priests yeah what was that about um well they send them all over the place for sure but there was a few States that had very suspect laws were they sending them to like the reservation and stuff they definitely did that too know one of the things that um some states and I think New Mexico was one of them had bizarre laws like the the age of consent for a girl like for a man to be with a girl was like the girl to be 16 okay but the age of consent for a boy and a man was like 13 what yeah that's that's some Creative Accounting right they're cooking the books way you come up with that yeah and I think the reason being was to exonerate pedophiles oh that were like religious pedophiles it was consensual did you ever see um hear no evil or is it no evil I think it's SE no evil but it's it's it it just is really essentially a documentary tracking how all these different pedophiles got moved into areas and they follow this one specific one where this guy had molested who knows how many [ __ ] kids one of them was a guy this was what made ratzinger have to step down when that Pope stepped down he was responsible for sending this one guy he got caught being a pedophile so they sent him to a new location where he molested 100 death kids and it's like most have sounded terrible in that room yeah and no one knows you're screaming the the the fact the fact that it's like you you think Catholic priest you think pedophile like like that they're synonymous instant instantaneously like you don't like how many did there have to be before that became completely it's not like occasionally the UPS driver is a car thief you know what I mean you I mean yeah when I think ups I don't think Kia boy you know exactly when I think priest I do think inab boy you know but yeah it's uh it's but their laws were set up I think in some states I think that's the suspicion that's a very good hypothesis yeah yeah cuz you're never going to get rid of it you know just make it so it's not too illegal yeah yeah oh he only missed the age by a year come on the kid was 11 he was like really grown a tall kid he's a tall kid pubes already let him he's precocious what's the big deal he likes candy I really uh New Mexico is so weird dude it's a weird place [ __ ] fighting was legal until like 8 years ago it's still legal in some places I think [ __ ] fighting is legal in multiple States it was Louisiana and New Mexico were the last hold outs were they yeah do you is this for sure I think so how what what states have [ __ ] fighting still legal I don't think any illegal but I think those were the last I had a gardener that used to [ __ ] fight I went to his house once and uh he had snuck over from U Mexico and uh he would go back and forth and like one time he said I'm going to be gone for like six months I'm like what are you doing he's like I'm going back to Mexico I go when you coming back he goes I don't know if I'm going to be able to get back I'm going to try I go well when when you try you know where I'm at let me know I go just get somebody else to take care of it while you're gone but just holler at me when you got back did he go back to [ __ ] fight uh NOP he went back just to go back to Mexico for a little bit he eventually went back to Mexico to move he eventually gave up on America yeah one day but he was my Gardener for like 10 years cool guy but he he was he goes do you want to see the [ __ ] fights I was like yeah of course let's see what that's like so he took me to a neighborhood in Los Angeles that I might as well been in Mexico there was no uh non-mexican people there in the neighborhood everybody spoke Spanish all the signs were in Spanish it was like like wow this is like a whole little area that I wasn't aware of so we go to his friend's house and we go into the backyard and his friend had Stacks upon stacks of chicken coops wow just everywhere roosters everywhere I was like this is nuts man I go what the [ __ ] is the morning sound like here yeah and he was like but everybody has chickens it's no big deal I was like everybody has chickens and there was like this guy over there you Lo in his backyard filled with roosters this guy over there his backyard filled with roosters yeah and they would get them together everybody would get together and gamble they would all drink yeah they'd have the chicken fight one chicken would lose they would boil them and eat them he's like we're going to eat him anyway it's just like way we we gamble yeah and one will die with pride T yeah I mean it's barbaric but I bet it's a hell of a show they put razors on their claws that's where I lose interest well that's the only way to get them to kill each other really otherwise they just Peck each other and [ __ ] get tired got a couple fun facts here for you got an article from last year New York Times about [ __ ] fighting well according to some rooster men the game foul or fighting chicken was almost chosen to be the national bird of America and it should have a breeder once told me an eagle ain't nothing more than a glorified Buzzard that's that guy's an idiot Eagles are Majestic are [ __ ] amazing they catch salmon with their feet you [ __ ] [ __ ] right they do war in the sky such game foul lore and sentiment abound George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were devouted rooster Fighters they were devoted rooster Fighters George Washington Union and Confederate soldiers put aside their differences on Sundays during the Civil War to pit their chickens against one another this is the solution to that partisanship that you've been talking about Abraham Lincoln was given the nickname Honest Abe after he displayed impartiality as a [ __ ] fighting judge USA what they fought him on the White House law they fought them right on the White House La says David thirst president of the United game foul Breeders Association a national nonprofit dedicated to the birds preservation wow wow man this country there's so many different stitches in the fabric of this place let's end on that let's end on that high note Sam Sam Talent uh tell everybody well where they could see your special you can see it on Matt and Shane's uh YouTube page sub what is it called the Toads morale I mean their their YouTube page I think it's called Matt and Shane secret podcast YouTube oh okay and it's called the Toads morale yeah and I also have a I have a new travel show on my YouTube if you want to subscribe to my YouTube that'd be huge come see me live Pittsburgh Detroit coming your way nice my podcast is good choth and uh webs this is worldwide tour Sam talents wide world man super proud of this nice me and my boy Patrick beautiful yeah dude shout out you're doing fun stuff dude it's been cool to get to know you and you're very funny guy and a cool guy it's been a lot of fun appreci I appreciate you too for help CH my life oh please more to come you're going to feel weird about being rich I can't wait all right bye everybody [Applause] [Music]