hi welcome to the hate you give written by Angie Thomas read by Miss Nisa so we're gonna be starting this book today and before we do I wanted to just point oh well this acronym thug life it's where our title comes from this acronym was created by Tupac Shakur and it stands for they hate you give little infants everybody so as you're reading this book think about what that means what it really means and what is the hates that we are giving to children all right chapter one part 1 when it happens I shouldn't have come to this party I'm not even sure I belong at this party that's not on some bougie either there are just some places where it's not enough to be me I had their version of me Big D Spring Break party is one of those places I squeezed through sweaty bodies and follow Kenia her curls bouncing past her shoulders a haze lingers over the room smelling like weed and music rattles the floor some rapper called up for everybody to naynay followed by a bunch of haze as people launched into their own versions can you hold up her cup and dances her way through the crowd between the headache from the loud ass music and the nausea from the weed odor I'll be amazed if I cross the room without spilling my dream we break out the crowd Big D's houses packed wall-to-wall I've always heard that everybody and their mama comes to as Spring Break parties well everybody except me but damn I didn't know it would be this many people girls wear their hair colored curled laid and slave got me feeling basic as hell with my ponytail guys and their freshest kicks and sagging pants crying so close to girls they just about need condoms my Nana likes to say that spring brings love spring and garden Heights doesn't always bring love but it promises babies in the winter I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them are conceived the night of Big D's party he always has it on the Friday of spring break because you need Saturday to recover and Sunday to repent stop following me and go dance our Kenya says people already say you think you all that I didn't know so many mine readers lived in garden Heights or that people know me as anything other than big Mavs daughter who works in the store I sip my drink and spit it back out I knew there would be more than how I'm punching it but this is way stronger than I'm used to they shouldn't even call it punch just straight-up liquor I put it on the coffee table and say folks kill me thinking they know what I think hey I'm just saying you act like you don't know nobody cuz you go to that school I've been hearing that for six years ever since my parents put me in Williamson prep whatever I'm humble and it wouldn't kill you to not dress like she turns up her no is it she looks a weight looks for my sneakers to my oversized hoodie that ain't that my brother's hoodie our brothers hoodie Kenya and I share an older brother seven but she and I aren't related her mama is sevens mama and my dad is seven yeah crazy I know yeah it's his figures you know what else people say into got folks thinking you're my girlfriend do I look like I care what people think no and that's the problem whatever if I'd known following her to this party meant she'd be on some extreme makeover star edition mess I would have stayed home and watched Fresh Prince reruns my Jordans are comfortable and damn they're new that's more than some people can say the hoodies way too big but I like it that way plus if I pull it over my nose I can't smell the weed well I ain't babysitting you all night so you better do something Kenya says and scopes theorem Kenya could be a model if I'm completely honest she's got flawless dark brown skin I don't think ever gets a pimple slanted brown eyes and long eyelashes that aren't store-bought she's the perfect height for modeling too but a little thicker than those toothpicks on the runway she never wears the same outfit twice her daddy King makes sure that Kenya is about the only person I hang out with him garden Heights it's hard to make friends when you go to a school that's 45 minutes away and you're a latchkey kid who's only seen at her family's store it's easy to hang out with Kenya because of our connection to sudden she's messy as hell sometimes though always fighting somebody and quick to say her daddy will whoop somebody's ass yeah it's true but I wish she'd stop picking fights so she can use her trump card hell I could use mine too everybody knows you don't mess with my dad big man and you definitely don't mess with his kids still you don't see me going around starting like a Big D's party Kenya is giving Tunisia Allen some serious thank I I don't remember much about Tunisia but I remember that she and Kenya haven't liked each other since fourth grade tonight Tunisia is dancing with some guy halfway across the room and paying no attention to Kenya but no matter where we move Kenya spots Tunisia and glares at her and the thing about the state guy is at some point you feel it on you inviting you to kick some ass or have your ass kicked oh I can't stand her Kenya sees the other day we were in lying in the cafeteria right and she behind me talking have a side of her neck she didn't use my name but I know she was talking about me saying I tried to get with Devante for real I say what I'm supposed to uh-huh I want him I know honestly I don't know who Devante is so what did you do what do you think I did I turned around and asked if she had a problem with me old trick don't say I wasn't even talking about you knowing she was you're so lucky you go over that white people school I don't have to deal with hoes like that ain't this some not even 45 minutes ago I was stuck up because I go to Williamson No trust me my school has hoes - totem is universal watch we don't handle her tonight can you stay guy reaches the highest level of stink Tunisia feels its sting and looks right at Kenya uh-huh can you confirm like Tunisia her ears her watch hold up we that's why you begged me to come to this party so you can have a tag team partner she's a nurse look offended it ain't like you had nothing else to do or anybody else to hang out with I'm doing your ass a favor really Kenya you do know I have friends right she rolls her eyes hard only the whites are visible for a few seconds then low bougie girls from your school don't care they're not bougie and they do count I think Maya and I are cool not sure what's up with me and Haley lately and honestly if pulling me into a fight is your way of helping my social life I'm good god damn it's always some drama with you please star she stretches the please extra long too long this is what I'm thinking we wait until she get away from javante right and then we my phone vibrates against my thigh and I glance at the screen since I've ignored his calls Chris texts me instead can we talk I didn't mean for it to go like that of course he didn't he meant for it to go a whole different way which is the problem I slipped the phone in my pocket I'm not sure what I want to say but I'd rather deal with him later Kenya somebody shouts this big light-skinned girl with bone straight hair moves through the crowd toward us a tall boy with a black and blond afro hawk follows her they both give Kenya hugs and talk about how cute she looks I'm not even here why do you tell me it was common the girl says and six her thumb in her mouth she's got an overbite from doing that soon you could have rode with us no girl I had to go get star Kenya says we walked here together that's when they noticed me Finney not even half of from Kenya the guy squints if he gives me a once-over he frowns for a hot second but I notice a but I notice it ain't you big Mavs daughter who worked in the store see people have like that's the name on my birth certificate yeah that's me oh the girl says I knew you looked familiar we were in the third grade together mrs. bridges class i sat behind you oh I know this is the moment I'm supposed to remember her but I don't I guess Kenya was right I really don't know anybody their faces are familiar but you don't get names and life stories when you're bagging folks groceries I can't lie though yeah I remember you girls would lie and the guy says you know you don't know her ass why are you always lying Kenya and the girl sing together the guy joins in and they all bust out laughing Bianca and chance be nice Kenya says this is stars first party her folks don't let her go nowhere I cut her ass I die I go to parties Kenya have y'all seen her at any parties around here can you ask them nope point made and before you say it lil lame white kids supper parties don't count chance and Bianca snicker damn I wish this hoodie could swallow me up somehow chance and Bianca snicker damn I wish this hoodie could swallow me up somehow I bet they'd be doing malian don't they chance ass white kid loved popping pills and listening to Taylor Swift Bianca ads talking around her thumb okay that's so much true but I'm not telling them that nah actually their parties are pretty dope I say one time this boy had Jay Cole perform at his birthday party damn for real chance ass next time invite me out party with them white kids anyway Kenya says loudly we were talking about running up on Denisha over there dancing with Devon say Oh trick Bianca says you know she been running her mouth right I was in mr. Donnell class last week when alia told me chance rolls his eyes uh mr. Donald you're just mad he threw you out Kenya says hell yes anyway alia told me Bianca begins I get lost again as classmates and teachers that I don't know or discuss I can't say anything it doesn't matter though I'm invisible I feel like that a lot around here in the middle of them complaining about Ganesha and their teachers excuse me Kenya says something about getting another drink and the three of them walk off without me suddenly I'm Eve in the garden after she ate the fruit it's like I realize I'm naked I'm by myself at a party I'm not even supposed to be out where I barely know anybody and the person I dunno just left me hanging can you beg me to come to this party for weeks I knew I'd be uncomfortable as hell but every time I told Kenya no she said I act like I'm too good for a garden party I got tired of hearing that and decided to prove her wrong problem is it would have taken black Jesus to convince my parents to let me come now black Jesus will have to save me if they find out I'm here people glance over me with that who is this chick standing up against the wall by herself like an idiot look I slipped my hands into my pockets as long as I play it cool and keep to myself I should be fine the ironic thing though is Williamson I don't have to play it cool I'm cool by default because I'm one of the only black kids there I have to earn coolness and garden Heights and that's more difficult than buying retro Jordan's unreleased game funny how it works with white kids though it's dope to be black until it's hard to be black star a familiar voice says the sea of people parts for him like he's a brown skinned Moses guys give him gas and girl's cream then next to look at him he smiles at me and his dimples ruin any G persona he Khaleel is fine no other way of putting it and I used to dance with him not like that but way back in the day when we would giggle because he had a wee-wee and I had what his grandma called a wee ha I swear it wasn't perverted though he hugged me smelling like soap and baby powder what's up girl he's seeing you in a minute he lets me go you don't text nobody nothing what are you been school and the basketball team keeping me busy I say but I'm always at the store you're the one nobody sees anymore his dimples disappear he wipes his nose like he always does before a lie I've been busy obviously the brand-new Jordans the Chris white tee the diamonds in his ears when you grow up in garden Heights you know what busy really means I wish he wasn't that kind of busy though I don't know if I want to tear up or snack him but the way Khalil looks at me with those hazel eyes makes it hard to be upset I feel like I'm 10 again standing in the basement of Christ humble Church having my first kiss with him at Vacation Bible School suddenly I remember I'm in a hoodie looking a straight-up mess and that I actually have a boyfriend I might not be answering Chris's calls or texts right now but he's still mine and I want to keep it that way how's your grandma I asked and Cameron the I grandma's sick though Khaleel sips from his cup doctors say she got cancer or whatever damn sorry Kay yeah she's taking chemo she only worried about getting a wig though he gives a weak laugh that doesn't show his dimples she'll be I it's a prayer more than a prophecy is your mama helping with Cameron good old star always looking for the best in people you know she ain't helping hey it was just a question she came in the store the other day she looks better for now says Khalil she she's trying to get clean but it's the usual she'll go clean a few weeks decides she wants one more hit and then be back at it but like I said I'm good Cameron's good grandma's good he shows that's all that matters yeah I say but I remember the nights I spent with Kolya on his porch waiting for his mama to come home whether he likes it or not she matters to him too the music changes and Drake raps from the speakers I nod to the beat and rap along under my breath everybody on the dance floor yells out the started from the bottom now we're here part some days we are at the bottom and garden Heights but we still share the feeling that damn it could be worse Khaleel is watching me a smile tries to form on his lips but he shakes his head can't believe you still love whiny ass Drake I gave out him leave my husband alone you're corny husband baby you met everything you ever wanted Kaleo sings in a whiny boys I push him with my shoulder and he laughs and his drink sloshes over the side to the cup you know that's why he sounds like I flip him off he puckers his lips and makes a kissing sound all these months apart and we've fallen back into normal like nothing Khalil grabs a napkin from the table from the coffee table and wipes drink off his Jordans the three retros they came in a few years ago but I swear those things are so fresh they cost about $300 and that's if you find somebody on eBay who goes easy Chris did I got mine for a steal at 150 but I wear kids sizes thanks to my small feet Chris and I can match our sneakers yes we are that couple we're fly though if he can stop doing stupid stuff we'll really be good I like the kicks I tell Khalil thanks he scrubs the shoes with his napkin I cringe with each hard rub the shoes cry for my help no lie every time a sneaker is cleaned improperly kitten guy Khaleel I say one second away from snatching that napkin either white gently back and forth or dab don't scrub for real he looks up at me smirking okay missus sneaked ahead and think black Jesus he dabs since you made me spill my drink on them I ought to make you clean them it'll cost you $60 60 straight up hell yeah and it would be 80 if you had icy souls clear bottoms are a to clean cleaning kits aren't cheap besides you're obviously making big money if you can buy those Khalil Simpsons drink like I didn't say anything mutters damn this strong and sets the cup on the coffee table hey tell your pops they need a holler Adam soon some stuff going down that I need to talk to him about what kind of stuff growing folks business yeah cuz you so grown five months two weeks and three days older than you he winks I have forgot a commotion stirs in the middle of the dance floor voices arguing the music cuss words fly left and right my first thought can you walk the pond in Asia like she promised but the voices are deeper than theirs pop a shot rings out i duck pop a second shot the crowd stampedes toward the door which leads some more cussing and fighting since it's impossible for everybody to get out at once Khalil grabs my hand come on they're way too many people and way too much curly hair for me to catch a glimpse of Kenya but Kenya forget her let's go he pulled me through the crowd shoving people out our way and stepping on shoes that alone could get us some bullets I look for Kenya among the panicked faces but still no sign of her I don't try to see who got shot or who did it you can't snitch if you don't know anything cars feet away outside and people run into the night in any direction where shots aren't firing off Khaleel leads me to a Chevy Impala parked under a dim streetlight he pushes me in in through the driver's seat side and I climb into the passenger seat we screech off leaving chaos in the rearview mirror always some he mumbles can't have a party without somebody getting shot he sounds like my parents that's exactly why they don't let me go nowhere as Kenya puts it at least not around Garden Heights I send kenya text hoping she's alright doubt those bullets were meant for her but bullets go where they want to go kenya text back kind of quick I'm buying I see that though about to handle her ass where you at is this for real we just ran for our lives and she's ready to fight I don't even answer that dumb Khalil's Impala is nice not all flashy like some guys cars I didn't see any rims before I got in and the front seat has cracks in the leather but the interior is attacked a key lime green so it's been customized at one point I pick it at a crack in the seat who you think got shot Khaleel gets his hair brush out the compartment on the door probably a king Lord he says brushing the sides of his fade some gardener disciples came in when I got there something was bound to pop off I nod guardian Heights has been a battlefield for the past two months over some stupid territory wars I was born a queen cuz daddy used to be a king Lord but when he left the game my street royalty status ended but even if I grown up in it I wouldn't understand fighting over streets nobody owns khalil drops the brush in the door and cranks up his stereo blasting an old rap song daddy has played a million times I frown why are you always listening to that old stuff man get out of here Tupac was the truth yeah twenty years ago nah even now like check this he points at me which means he's about to go into one of his Khalil philosophical moments Pok said thug life stood for the hate you give little infants everybody I raise my eyebrows what listen the hate you the letter you did little infants everybody th ug Li Fe meaning what society gives us as youth it bites them in the ask when we wall out get it yeah damn see told you he was relevant he nods to the beat and wraps along but now I'm wondering what he's doing to everybody as much as I think I know I hope I'm wrong I need to hear from him so why have you really been busy I asked a few months ago daddy said you quit the store I haven't seen you since he scoots closer to the steering wheel where you want me to take you your house or the store Khalil your house or the store if you're selling that stuff mind your business star don't worry about me I'm doing what I gotta do you know my dad would help you out he wipes his nose before his life I don't need help from nobody okay and that little minimum-wage job your pops gave me didn't make nothing happen I got tired of choosing between lights and food I thought your grandma was working she was when she got sick them clowns at the hospital claimed they'd worked with her two months later she wasn't pulling her load on the job cuz when you're going through chemo you can't pull big ass garbage bins around they fired her he shakes his head funny huh the hospital fired her cuz she was sick it's silent in the Impala except for Tupac asking who do you believe in I don't know my phone vibrates again probably either Chris asking for forgiveness or Kenya asking for backup against Tunisia instead it's my big brothers all caps text up here on the screen I don't know why he does that he probably thinks it's him it intimidates me really it annoys the hell out of me where are you you and Kenya better not be at that party I heard somebody got shot the only thing worse than protective parent is protective older brothers even like Jesus can't save me from sobbing Khalil glances over at me seven huh how'd you know because you always look like you want to punch something when he talks to you remember that time at your birthday party when he kept telling you what to wish for and I popped him in his mouth then Natasha got mad at you for telling her boyfriend his shut up Khalil says laughing I roll my eyes she got on my nerves with her crush on seven half the time I thought she came over just to see him no I was because you had the Harry Potter movies remember what we used to call ourselves what we used to call ourselves the hood trio tighter than the inside of Baltimore's nose we were so silly for that I know right he says we laugh but something's missing from it someone's missing from it Natasha Kalia looks at the road crazy it's been six years you know what whoop sounds startles us and blue lights flash in the rearview mirror