hey friends welcome back to intro to interpersonal communication and our ongoing discussion of interpersonal conflict hey i want to mention i jumped over page c10 last time we went right to c11 because c10 is an exercise called shipwrecked that really doesn't work in a remote format so sorry about that i leave it in in case i can figure out how to do that in the future all right but we're on page c12 and what i want you to do in just a minute is stop the video but and because what i want you to do is i want you to come up with two possible solutions for each of these two negotiation cases cases the first one has to do with two people looking for an apartment all right and the second one has to do with you and your best friend trying to figure out where and how to spend spring break all right so two solutions per case you should have four total high level math all right now take note splitting up is not an acceptable option they have to stay together and work it out in both of those scenarios so two for the apartment scenario two for the spring break scenario and then what i want you to do is get back on and i'm going to teach you some what are called integrative bargaining techniques but those will only be meaningful for you if you do this work first because i'm going to make application to these two cases and you will likely say say oh wait that was that's kind of like what i came up with but i'm going to give you that in a larger framework that can just generate all kinds of solutions so stop the video now and do that then get back on ready go okay friends you should have done that if you haven't worked out those solutions for yourself stop again and get on it because you're gonna need that to help you process this information okay what i want to do is talk about what are called a set of integrative bargaining techniques that were developed by a scholar named dean pruitt back in the mid 80s and it was tweaked revised in the 2000s and it's just been incredibly useful and practical stuff this is the most practical thing i learned in grad school and i'm passing it on to you you're welcome alright so if you look at page c13 you'll notice the first case case one at the top of that page and then you've got these five methods you'll see there's a column for the method and explanation of how it works and then an application which we'll make to each of these two cases that's why you needed to do that ahead of time okay i promise there's a reason okay the first method is called cost cutting cost cutting here's the explanation cost cutting is when ready explanation one party gets what they want and reduces the pain of the other one party gets what they want and they reduce the other's pain for giving in to them does that make sense so one party or one person gets what they want and they try to reduce the other's pain okay now applied to the apartment scenario right remember chris and pat are looking for the a place that they can share together example if they went with the more expensive place and chris picked up more of the rent per month right so pat didn't have to pay as much because that was a big deal the the cost was a big deal for pat right that would be an example of cost cutting literally in this case but what what we're saying here is uh chris got the apartment that chris wanted and so chris picks up more of the rent to reduce the pain that pat experiences giving in to chris to take that apartment makes sense now if we apply that to the second scenario you and your best friend trying to find a spring break trip this would look like uh remember you you go to the beach resort that's where you wanted to go but you pay two thirds of the cost for your friend to go there instead of doing what they want to do again a very little or literal example of cost cutting or you could say hey listen we'll go to the beach but at night when i'm running around going to the clubs or whatever you don't have to do that you can stay home read on the balcony or go take walks on the beach by yourself and just get you the down time that you want you don't have to run around with me again those would be ways of you get what you want but you reduce the others pain right or the other gets what they want and they find some way to reduce your pain okay the second technique is called non-specific compensation non-specific compensation this is where here's the explanation one party gets what they want and then repays the other in an unrelated coin all right one gets what they want and they repay the other in an unrelated coin meaning something not related to this particular little conflict right so there's a there are boundaries or parameters to this little conflict that you're having this thing you're trying to negotiate but in fact what non-specific compensation realizes is hey listen this little thing may be what you're dealing with right now but there are all these other things that are of value both to you and the person that you're negotiating this conflict with right and so what what non-specific compensation says is hey listen what if i give you some benefit i compensate you in some way not related to this particular conflict but it's something that's of value to you and in that way we resolve it you let me have what i want in this conflict and i provide something else i compensate you in some way not related to this particular conflict that's what non-specific compensation does right so for example with the apartment scenario right they take the less expensive place the one that pat wants and pat sets chris up with their attractive and devastatingly intelligent sibling terry on a date right doesn't have anything to do with the housing scenario but it's something that chris would value and if so chris is like absolutely i'll take that deal right so non-specific compensation says hey what's something outside of this particular thing that we both want that might be of value to one or the other of us and so we have a way of compensating right in a way not specifically related to this conflict scenario in a sense cost cutting is like compensating the person in a way that is specific to this conflict you reduce their pain in the context of the conflict non-specific compensation as the name would suggest is where you say okay what how else could we one of us compensate the other in a way that's not specifically related to this particular scenario okay there you have it oh with the uh with the spring break trip you say hey listen we'll go where you want to go if you let me borrow your car when we get back for the rest of the semester right that would be an example of non-specific compensation applied to this uh to the spring break scenario friend the friends of think about non-specific compensation you could generate a squillion options just with that integrative bargaining technique there's so many things that could be of value to one or the other of you that just makes so many options possible okay here's the third technique it's called expand the pie expand the pie is where you increase the number of resources available and are therefore able to find some way to to reconcile okay so for example if for the apartment scenario you said hey what if we brought in a third roommate right what if we so pat gets a a third roommate and pat they take the more expensive place pat and this roommate share the room and their half of the rent chris gets their own room and their their half of the rent right and so they're able to reconcile it make it work it becomes mutually satisfying when they bring in a third roommate that pat can share a room and the rent with makes sense if we flip over to the expand the pie scenario if you said hey listen why not why don't we think about spring break in terms of not just this spring break trip but this spring break and next spring break so instead of just thinking about one of them because one of us wants to go to the mountains one of us wants to go to the beach why don't we think in terms of the next two spring breaks and one of those will go to the mountains the other will go to the beach isn't that a way of reconciling it now that works as long as one of the other options are not totally undesirable to one of the the people in the negotiation right so for example with the spring break trip right if if one of you gets altitude sickness or the other get breaks out in hives going to the beach the option that you don't want isn't a good option for you so expanding the pie is probably not going to work but if you say hey you know what let's think in terms of two spring breaks you have double the time double the money that you earn to expense the trip over that next year period and so it might open the option hey we could do both here right okay the fourth strategy fourth bargaining technique is called log rolling log rolling if you've ever seen a log rolling competition when logs in the logging forestry industry lumberjacks have these competitions where they're standing on a log in water like on a river and they're trying to roll the other off right only half of a log at any given time is going to be rolled up above the water the other half is rolled underneath below the water log rolling uses that as a metaphor to say what we're going to do is here here's the explanation each gives in on lower priorities to gain higher priorities within one of the original options right so each log rolls under their lower priorities to log roll up their higher priorities right so each gives up lower priorities to gain higher priorities within one of the original options now there's not a good example of this for the apartment scenario every time i try to come up with one it looks like cost cutting and it's confusing that's why i created a perfect scenario in the second negotiation case where you and your best friend are trying to figure out spring break right if you remember from that scenario you want to go to the beach your friend wants to go to the mountains you care more about accommodations they care more about location right and so what you do is you decide hey listen we'll go to the mountains because location matters more to you but we'll stay in a swanky hotel because accommodations matter more to me you get your high priority met and i get my higher priority met and we we log roll each of our high priorities and so it becomes a mutually satisfying outcome all right that's log rolling the last option the last bargaining technique bridging goes a step further and it's similar to log rolling except that neither get their initial demands but both get high priorities met in a brand new option so again each decide how can i get my high priorities met how can you get your high priorities mat but how can we do it in a brand new option not one of these original options so for the apartment scenario we're not going with either the original apartments we're looking at we're going to find a new option that's moderately priced relatively nice that's a one-bedroom apartment chris you can have that you know pat pat all you know pat says i'll stay in a sleeper sofa in the living space right so you get your own bedroom it's less expensive for me so it's a way of saying what are the high priorities here how can we find that in a brand new option the benefit of that is that nobody had a vested interest a prior commitment to the option that you pick you're mutually collaboratively finding a new option so you're going to have shared ownership and the outcome that's a really good thing moving forward in terms of long-term implications no one can say together well we still did what you wanted we still took the apartment you wanted right that doesn't happen if you collaboratively pick a new option that's the value of bridging it's it's the most uh nuanced robust option in that regard strategy or technique okay with regard to the spring break trip you say listen we're not going to the rocky mountains we're not going to the ocean beach let's go to an inland lake resort somewhere and that way we'll be able to you know you can do the things you wanted to do right the rock climbing hiking being alone time i can do the sun and swim and hit the night life you go like to an inland lake resort somewhere like gatlinburg as an example in the smokies not the rocky mountains not not these 14 000 foot peaks that the other person would want to climb but there's still decent mountains and you could get a nice place to stay with a pool area blah blah blah so that'd be a way of reconciling those two bridging in a brand new option right okay now friends from the bottom up these five uh methods these five bargaining techniques the first letter of each of these going up from the bottom spell blank b-l-e-n-c listen i didn't come up with these names okay so i couldn't make them spell something these are dean pruitt's but just to help you if you're blanking out like i'm drawing a blank on these because you will see these in the future on the exam etc right i'm drawing a blank that can help you b l e n c friends is the best i can do sorry okay so friends listen this framework these integrative bargaining techniques can just provide for you all kinds of possibilities in terms of generating creative solutions when you're negotiating something that you want with a friend go after it put these into practice okay having said that i love you all get out