Transcript for:
Exploring Themes in The Giver

bantom double day Dell audio publishing presents The Giver by Lois [Music] Lowry it was almost December and Jonas was beginning to be frightened no wrong word Jonas thought frighten meant that deep sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen frighten was the way he had felt a year ago when an unidentified aircraft had overflown the community twice he had seen it both times squinting toward the sky he had seen the Sleek jet almost a blur at its high speed go past and a second later heard the blast of sound that followed then one more time a moment later from the opposite direction the same plane at first he had been only fascinated he had never seen aircraft so close for it was against the rules for Pilots to fly over the community occasionally when supplies were delivered by cargo planes to The Landing field across the river the children rode their bicycles to the riverbank and watched intrigued the unloading and then the takeoff directed to the West always away from the community but the aircraft a year ago had been different it was not a squat fat belled cargo plane but a needle-nosed single pilot jet Jonas looking around anxiously had seen others adults as well as children stop what they were doing and wait confused for an explanation of the frightening event then all of the citizens had been ordered to go into the nearest building and stay there immediately The rasping Voice through the speakers had said leave your bicycles where they are instantly obediently Jonas had dropped his bike on its side on the path behind his family's dwelling ing he had run indoors and stayed there alone his parents were both at work and his little sister Lily was at the child care center where she spent her after school hours looking through the front window he had seen no people none of the busy afternoon crew of street cleaners landscape workers and food delivery people who usually populated the community at that time of day he saw only the abandoned bikes here and there on their sides an upturned wheel on one was still revolving slowly he had been frightened then the sense of his own Community silent waiting had made his stomach churn he had trembled but it had been nothing within minutes the speakers had crackled again and the voice reassuring now and less urgent had explained that a pilot in training had misread his navigational instructions and made a wrong turn desperately the pilot had been trying to make his way back before his error was noticed needless to say he will be released the voice had said followed by silence there was an ironic tone to that final message as if the speaker found it amusing and Jonas had smiled a little though he knew what a grim statement it had been for a contributing citizen to be released from the community was a final decision a terrible punishment an overwhelming statement of failure even the children were scolded if they use the term lightly at Play jeering at a teammate who missed a catch or stumbled in a race Jonas had done it once had shouted at his best friend that's it Asher you're released when Asher's clumsy era had lost a match for his team he had been taken aside for a brief and serious talk by the coach had hung his head with guilt and embarrassment and apologized to Asher after the game now thinking about the feeling of fear as he pedal home along the river path he remembered that moment moment of palpable stomach sinking Terror when the aircraft had streaked above it was not what he was feeling now with December approaching he searched for the right word to describe his own feeling Jonas was careful about language not like his friend Asher who talked too fast and mixed things up scrambling words and phrases until they were barely recognizable and often very funny Jonas grinned remembering the morning that Asher had dashed into the classroom late as usual arriving breathlessly in the middle of the chanting of the morning anthem when the class took their seats at the conclusion of the Patriotic hymn Asher remained standing to make his public apology as was required I apologize for inconveniencing my learning community Asher ran through the standard apology phrase rapidly still catching his breath the instructor in class waited patiently for his explanation the students had all been grinning because they had listened to Asher's explanation so many times before I left home at the correct time but when I was riding along near the Hatchery the crew was separating some salmon I guess I just got distraught watching them I apologized to my classmates Asher concluded he smoothed his rumpled tunic and sat down we accept your apology Asher the class recited the standard response in unison many of the students were biting their lips to keep from laughing I accept your apology Asher the instructor said said he was smiling and I thank you because once again you have provided an opportunity for a lesson in language distraught is too strong an adjective to describe salmon viewing he turned and wrote distraught on the instructional board beside it he wrote distracted Jonas nearing his home now smiled at the recollection thinking still as he wheeled his bike into its narrow Port beside the door he realized that frightened was the wrong word to describe his feelings now that December was almost here it was too strong an adjective he had waited a long time for this special December now that it was almost upon him he wasn't frightened but he was eager he decided he was eager for it to come and he was excited certainly all of the 11s were excited about the event that would be coming so soon but there was a little shudder of nervousness when he thought about it about what might happen apprehensive Jonas decided that's what I am who wants to be the first tonight for feelings Jonas's father asked at the conclusion of their evening meal it was one of the rituals the evening telling of feelings sometimes Jonas and his sister Lily argued over turns over who would get to go first their parents of course were part of the ritual they too told their feelings each evening but but like all parents all adults they didn't fight and Weedle for their turn nor did Jonas tonight his feelings were too complicated this evening he wanted to share them but he wasn't eager to begin the process of sifting through his own complicated emotions even with the help that he knew his parents could give you go Lily he said seeing his sister who was much younger only a seven wiggling with impatience in her chair I felt very angry this afternoon Lily announced my child care group was at the play area and we had a visiting group of sevens and they didn't obey the rules at all one of them a male I don't know his name kept going right to the front of the line for the slide even though the rest of us were all waiting I felt so angry at him I made my hand into a fist like this she held up a clenched Fist and the rest of the family smiled at her small defiant gesture why do you think the visitors didn't obey the rules mother asked Lily considered and shook her head I don't know they acted like like animals Jonas suggested he laughed that's right Lily said laughing too like animals neither child knew what that word meant exactly but it was often used to describe someone uneducated or clumsy someone who didn't fit in where were the visitors from father asked Lily frowned trying to remember our leader told us when he made the welcome speech but I can't remember I guess I wasn't paying attention it was from another Community they had to leave very early and they had their midday meal On The Bus Mother nodded do you think it's possible that their rules may be different and so they simply didn't know what your play area rules were Lily Shrugged and nodded I suppose you visited other communities haven't you Jonas asked my group has often Lily nodded again when we were sixes we went and shared a whole day with a group of sixes in their Community how did you feel when you were there Lily frowned I felt strange because their methods were different they were learning usages that my group hadn't learned yet so we felt stupid father was listening with interest I'm thinking Lily he said about the boy who didn't obey the rules today do you think it's possible that he felt strange and stupid being in a new place with rules that he didn't know about Lily pondered that yes she said finally I feel a little sorry for him Jonas said even though I don't even know him I feel sorry for anyone who was in a place where he feels strange and stupid how do you feel now Lily father asked still angry I guess not Lily decided I guess I feel a little sorry for him and sorry I made a fist she grinned Jonas smiled back at his sister Lily feelings were always straightforward fairly simple usually easy to resolve he guessed that his own had been too when he was a seven he listened politely though not very attentively while his father took his turn describing a feeling of worry that he'd had that day at work a concern about one of the new children who wasn't doing well Jonas's father's title was nurturer he and the other nurturers were responsible for all the physical and emotional needs of every new child during its earliest life it was a very important job Jonas knew but it wasn't one that interested him much what gender is it Lily asked male father said he's a sweet little male with a lovely disposition but he isn't growing as fast as he should and he doesn't sleep soundly we have him in the extra care section for supplementary nurturing but the committee is beginning to talk about releasing him oh no mother murmured sympathetically I know how sad that must make you feel Jonas and Lily both nodded sympathetically as well released of new children was always sad because they hadn't had a chance to enjoy life within the community yet and they hadn't done anything wrong there were only two occasions of release which were not punishment release of the elderly which was a time of celebration for a life well and fully lived and release of a new child which always brought a sense of what could we have done this was especially troubling for the nurturers like father who felt they had failed somehow but it happened very rarely well father said I'm going to keep trying I may ask the committee for permission to bring him here at night if you don't mind you know what the night crew nurturers are like I think this little guy needs something extra of course mother said and Jonas and Lily nodded they had heard father complain about the night crew before it was a lesser job night crew nurturing assigned to those who lacked the interest or skills or insight for the more vital jobs of the daytime hours most of the people on the night crew had not even been given spouses because they lacked somehow the essential capacity to connect to others which was required for the creation of the family unit maybe we could even keep him Lily suggested sweetly trying to look innocent the look was fake Jonas knew they all knew Lily mother reminded her smiling you know the rules two children one male one female to each family unit It Was Written very clearly in the rules Lily giggled well she said I thought maybe just this once next mother who held a prominent position at the Department of Justice talked about her feelings today a repeat offender had been brought before her someone who had broken the rules before someone who she hoped had been adequately and fairly punished and who had been restored to his place to his job to his home his family unit to see him brought before her a second time caused her overwhelming feelings of frustration and anger and even guilt that she hadn't made a difference in his life I feel frightened too for him she confessed you know that there's no third chance the rules say that if there's a third transgression he simply has to be released Jonas shivered he knew it happened there was even a boy in his group of Els whose father had been released years before no one ever mentioned it the disgrace was unspeakable it was hard to imagine Lily stood up and went to her mother she stroked her mother's arm from his place at the table father reached over and took her hand Jonas reached for the other one by one they comforted her soon she smiled thanked them and murmured that she felt soothed the ritual continued Jonas father asked you're last tonight Jonas sighed this evening he almost would have preferred to keep his feelings hidden but it was of course against the rules I'm feeling apprehensive he confessed glad that the appropriate descriptive word had finally come to him why is that son his father looked concerned I know there's really nothing to worry about Jonas explained and that every adult has been through it I know you have father and you too mother but it's the ceremony that I'm apprehensive about it's almost December Lily looked up her eyes wide the ceremony of 12 she whispered in an OD voice even the smallest children Lily's age and younger knew that it lay in the future for each of them I'm glad you told us of your feelings father said Lily mother said beckoning to the little girl go on now and get into your night clothes father and I are going to stay here and talk to Jonas for a while Lily sighed but obediently she got down from her chair privately she asked mother nodded yes she said this talk will be a private one with Jonas Jonas watched as his father poured a fresh cup of coffee he waited you know his father finally said every December was exciting to me when I was young and it has been for you and Lily too I'm sure each December brings such changes Jonas nodded he could remember the Decembers back to when he had become well probably a four the earlier ones were lost to him but he observed them each year and he remembered Lily's earliest Decembers he remembered when his family received Lily the day she was named the day that she had become a one the ceremony for the ones was always noisy and fun each December all the new children born in the previous year turned one one at a time there were always 50 in each Year's group if none had been released they had been brought to the stage by The nurturers Who had cared for them since birth some were already walking wobbly on their unsteady legs others were no more than a few days old wrapped in blankets held by their nurturers I enjoy the naming Jonas said his mother agreed smiling the year we got Lily we knew of course that we'd receive our female because we' made our application and been approved but I'd been wondering and wondering what her name would be I could have sneaked a look at the list prior to the ceremony father confided the committee always makes the list in advance and it's right there in the office at the nurturing Center as a matter of fact he went on I feel a little guilty about this but I did go in this afternoon and look to see if this year's naming list had been made yet it was right there in the office and I looked up number 36 that's the little guy I've been concerned about because it occurred occurred to me that it might enhance his nurturing if I could call him by a name just privately of course when no one else is around did you find it Jonas asked he was fascinated it didn't seem a terribly important rule but the fact that his father had broken a rule at all AED him he glanced at his mother the one responsible for adherence to the rules and was relieved that she was smiling his father nodded his name if he makes it to the naming without being released of course is to be Gabriel So I whisper that to him when I feed him every four hours and during exercise and playtime if no one can hear me I call him Gabe actually he said and grinned Gabe Jonas tried it out a good name he decided though Jonas had only become a five the year that they acquired Lily and learned her name he remembered the excitement the conversations at home wondering about her how she would look who she would be how she would fit into their established family unit he remembered climbing the steps to the stage with his parents his father by his side that year instead of with the nurturers since it was the year that he would be given a new child of his own he remembered his mother taking the new child his sister into her arms while the document was read to the assembled family units new child 23 the nameer had read Lily he remembered his father's look of delight and that his father had whispered she's one of my favorites I was hoping for her to be the one the crowd had clapped and Jonas had grinned he liked his sister's name Lily barely awake had waved her small fist then they had stepped down to make room for the next family unit when I was an 11 his father said now as you are Jonas I was very impatient waiting for the ceremony of 12 it's a long two days I remember that I enjoyed the ones as I always do but that I didn't pay much attention to the other ceremonies except for my sister's she became a nine that year and got her bicycle I'd been teaching her to ride mine even though technically I wasn't supposed to Jonas laughed it was one of the few rules that was not taken very seriously and was almost always broken the children all received their bicycles at 9: they were not allowed to ride bicycles before then but almost always the older brothers and sisters had secretly taught the younger ones Jonas had been thinking already about teaching Lily there was talk about changing the rule and giving the bicycles at an earlier age a committee was studying the idea when something went to a committee for study the people always joked about it they said that the committee members would become Elders by the time the rule change was made rules were very hard to change sometimes if it was a very important rule unlike the one governing the age for bicycles it would have to go eventually to the receiver for a decision the receiver was the most important Elder Jonas had had never even seen him that he knew of someone in a position of such importance lived and worked alone but the committee would never bother the receiver with a question about bicycles they would simply fret and argue about it themselves for years until the citizens forgot that it had ever gone to them for study his father continued so I watched and cheered when my sister Kata became a n and removed her hair ribbons and got her bicycle father went on then I didn't pay much attention to the 10 and 11s and finally at the end of the second day which seemed to go gone forever it was my turn it was the ceremony of 12 Jonas shivered he pictured his father who must have been a shy and quiet boy for he was a shy and quiet man seated with his group waiting to be called to the stage the ceremony of 12 was the last of the ceremonies the most important I remember how proud my parents looked and my sister too even though she wanted to be out riding the bicycle publicly she stopped fidgeting and was very still in attemp attentive when my turn came but to be honest Jonas his father said for me there was not the element of suspense that there is with your ceremony because I was already fairly certain of what my assignment was to be Jonas was surprised there was no way really to know in advance it was a secret selection made by the leaders of the community the committee of Elders who took the responsibility so seriously that there were never even any jokes made about assignments his mother seemed surprised too how could you have known she asked his father smiled his gentle smile well it was clear to me and my parents later confessed that it had been obvious to them too what my aptitude was I had always loved the new children more than anything when my friends in my age group were holding bicycle races or building toy vehicles or Bridges with their construction sets or all the things I do with my friends Jonas pointed out and his mother nodded in agreement I always participated of of course because as children we must experience all of those things and I studied hard in school as you do Jonas but again and again during free time I found myself drawn to the new children I spent almost all of my volunteer hours helping in the nurturing Center of course the elders knew that from their observation Jonas nodded during the past year he had been aware of the increasing level of observation in school at Recreation time and during volunteer hours he had noticed the elders watching him in the other Els he had seen them taking notes he knew too that the elders were meeting for long hours with all of the instructors that he and the other Els had had during their years of school so I expected it and I was pleased but not at all surprised when my assignment was announced as nurturer father explained did everyone applaud even though they weren't surprised Jonas asked oh of course they were very happy for me that my assignment was what I wanted most I felt very fortunate his father smiled were any of the Els disappointed your year Jonas asked unlike his father he had no idea what his assignment would be but he knew that some would disappoint him though he respected his father's work nurturer would not be his wish and he didn't Envy laborers at all his father thought no I don't think so of course the elders are so careful in their observations and selections I think it's probably the most important job in our community his mother commented my friend yoshiko was surprised by her selection as Doctor father said but she was thrilled and let's see there was Andre I remember that when we were boys he never wanted to do physical things he spent all the recreation time he could with his construction set and his volunteer hours Were Always On Building sides the elders knew that of course Andre was given the assignment of engineer and he was delighted Andre later design the bridge that crosses the river to the west of town Jonas's mother said wasn't there when we were children there are very rarely disappointments Jonas I don't think you need to worry about that his father reassured him and if there are you know there's an appeal process but they all laughed at that an appeal went to a committee for study I worry a little about Asher's assignment Jonas confessed Asher's such fun but he doesn't really have any serious interests he makes a game out of everything his father chuckled you know he said I remember when Asher was a new child at the nurturing center before he was named he never cried he giggled and laughed at everything all of us on the staff enjoyed nurturing Asher the elders know Asher his mother said they'll find exactly the right assignment for him I don't think you need to worry about him but Jonas let me warn you about something that may not have occurred to you I know I didn't think about it until after my ceremony of 12 what's that well it's the last of the ceremonies as you know after 12 age isn't important most most of us even lose track of how old we are as time passes though the information is in the Hall of open records and we could go and look it up if we wanted to what's important is the preparation for adult life and the training you'll receive in your assignment I know that Jonas said everyone knows that but it means his mother went on that you'll move into a new group and each of your friends will you'll no longer be spending your time with your group of elevs after this ceremony of 12 you'll be with your assignment group with those in training no more volunteer hours no more Recreation hours so your friends will no longer be as close Jonah shook his head Asher and I will always be friends he said firmly and they will still be school that's true his father agreed but what your mother said is true as well there will be changes good changes though his mother pointed out after my ceremony of 12 I missed my childhood Recreation but when when I entered my training for Law and Justice I found myself with people who shared my interests I made friends on a new level friends of all ages did you still play at all after 12 Jonas asked occasionally his mother replied but it didn't seem as important to me I did his father said laughing I still do every day at the nurturing Center I play bounce on the knee and peekaboo and hug the teddy he reached over and stroked Jonas's neatly trimmed hair fun doesn't end when you come 12 Lily appeared wearing her night clothes in the doorway she gave an impatient sigh this is certainly a very long private conversation she said and there are certain people waiting for their comfort object Lily her mother said fondly you're very close to being an eight and when you're an eight your comfort object will be taken away it will be recycled to the younger children you should be starting to go off to sleep without it but if father had already gone to the shelf and taken down the stuffed elephant which was kept there many of the Comfort objects like Lily were soft stuffed imaginary creatures Jonas's had been called a bear here you are Lily Billy he said I'll come help you remove your hair ribbons Jonas and his mother rolled their eyes yet they watched affectionately as Lily and her father headed to her sleeping room with a stuffed elephant that had been given to her as her Comfort object when she was born his mother moved to her big desk and opened her brief case her work never seemed to end even when she was at home in the evening Jonas went to his own desk and began to sort through a school papers for the evening's assignment but his mind was still on December in the coming ceremony though he had been reassured by the talk with his parents he hadn't the slightest idea what assignment the elders would be selecting for his future or how he might feel about it when the day came oh look Lily squealed in Delight isn't he cute look how tiny he is and he has funny eyes like yours Jonas Jonas glared at her he didn't like it that she had mentioned his eyes he waited for his father to chastise Lily but father was busy unstrapping the carrying basket from the back of his bicycle Jonas walked over to look it was the first thing Jonas noticed as he looked at the new child peering up curiously from the basket the pale eyes almost every citizen in the community had dark eyes his parents did and Lily did and so did all of his group members and friends but there were a few exceptions Jonas himself and a female five whom he had noticed had the different lighter eyes no one mentioned such things it was not a rule but was considered rude to call attention to things that were unsettling or different about individuals Lily he decided would have to learn that soon or she would be called called in for chastisement because of her insensitive chatter father put his bike into its Port then he picked up the basket and carried it into the house Lily followed behind but she glanced back over her shoulder at Jonas and teased maybe he had the same birth mother as you Jonas Shrugged he followed them inside but he had been startled by the new child's eyes mirrors were rare in the community they weren't forbidden but there was no real need of them and Jonas had simply never bothered to look at himself very often even when he found himself in a location where a mirror existed now seeing the new child and its expression he was reminded that the light eyes were not only a rarity but gave the one who had them a certain look what was it depth he decided as if one were looking into the Clear Water of the river down to the bottom where things might lurk which hadn't been discovered yet he felt self conscious realizing that he too had that look he went to his desk pretending not to be interested in the new child on the other side of the room mother and Lily were bending over to watch as father unwrapped its blanket what's his comfort object called Lily asked picking up the stuffed creature which had been placed beside the new child in his basket father glanced at it hippo he said Lily giggled at the strange word hippo she repeated and put the Comfort object down again she peered at the unwrapped new child who waved his arms I think new children are so cute Lily sighed I hope I get assigned to be a birth mother Lily mother spoke very sharply don't say that there's very little honor in that assignment but I was talking to Natasha you know the tan who lives around the corner she does some of her volunteer hours at the birthing center and she told me that the birth mothers get wonderful food and they have very gentle exercise periods and most of the time they just play games and amuse themselves while they're waiting I think i' like that Lily said petulantly 3 years mother told her firmly three births and that's all after that they're laborers for the rest of their adult lives until the day they enter the house of the old is that what you want Lily three lazy years and then hard physical labor until you were old well no I guess not Lily acknowledged reluctantly father turned the new child onto his tummy in the basket he sat beside it and rubbed its small back with a rhythmic motion anyway Lily Billy he said affectionately the birth mothers never even get to see new children if you enjoy the little one so much you should hope for an assignment as nurturer when you're an eight and start your volunteer hours you can try some at the nurturing Center mother suggested yes I think I will Lily said she knelt beside the basket what did you say his name is Gabriel hello Gabriel she said in a sing song voice then she giggled oops she whispered I think he's asleep I guess I better be quiet Jonas turned to the school assignments on his desk some chance of that he thought Lily was never quiet probably she should hope for an assignment as speaker so that she could sit in the office with the microphone all day making announcements he laughed silently to himself picturing his sister droning on in the self-important voice that all the speakers seemed to develop saying things like attention this is the reminder to females under nine that hair ribbons are to be neatly tied at all times he turned toward lilyan noticed to his satisfaction that her ribbons were as usual undone and dangling there would be an announcement like that quite soon he felt certain and it would be directed mainly at Lily though her name of course would not be mentioned everyone would know everyone had known he remembered with humiliation that the announcement attention this is a reminder to male elov that objects are not to be removed from the recreation area and that snacks are to be eaten not hoarded had been specifically directed at him the day last month that he had taken an apple home no one had mentioned it not even his parents because the Public Announcement had been sufficient to produce the appropriate remorse he had of course disposed of the apple and made his apology to the recreation director the next morning before school Jonah thought again about that incident he was still bewildered by it not by the announcement or the necessary apology those were standard procedures and he had deserved them but by the incident itself he probably should have brought up his feeling of bewilderment that very evening when the family unit had shared their feelings of the day but he had not been able to sort out and put words to the source of his confusion so he had let it pass it had happened during the recreation period when he he had been playing with Asher Jonas had casually picked up an apple from the basket where the snacks were kept and had thrown it to his friend Asher had thrown it back and they had begun a simple game of catch there had been nothing special about it it was an activity that he had performed countless times throw catch throw catch it was effortless for Jonas and even boring though Asher enjoyed it and playing catch was a required activity for Asher because it would improve his hand eye coordination which was not up to standards but suddenly Jonas had noticed following the path of the Apple through the air with his eyes that the piece of fruit had well this was the part that he couldn't adequately understand the Apple had changed just for an instant it had changed in midair he remembered then it was in his hand and he looked at it carefully but it was the same Apple unchanged the same size and shape the perfect sphere the the same nondescript shade about the same shade as his own tunic there was absolutely nothing remarkable about that apple he had tossed it back and forth between his hands a few times then thrown it again to Asher and again in the air for an instant only it had changed it had happened four times Jonas had blinked looked around and then tested his eyesight squinting at the small print on the identification badge attached to his Tony he read his name quite clearly he could also clearly see Asher at the other end of the throwing area and he had had no problem catching the Apple Jonas had been completely mystified Ash he had called does anything seem strange to you about the Apple yes Asher called back laughing it jumps out of my hand onto the ground Asher had just dropped it once again so Jonas laughed too and with his laughter tried to ignore his uneasy conviction that something had happened but he had taken the Apple home against the recreation area rules that evening before his parents and Lily arrived at the dwelling he had held it in his hands and looked at it carefully was slightly bruised now because Asher had dropped it several times but there was nothing at all unusual about the apple he had held a magnifying glass to it he had tossed it several times across the room watching and then rolled it around and around on his desktop waiting for the thing to happen again but it hadn't the only thing that happened was the announcement later that evening over the speaker the announcement that had singled him out without using his name that had caused both of his parents to glance meaningfully at his desk where the apples still lay now sitting at his desk staring at his schoolwork as his family hovered over the new child in its basket he shook his head trying to forget the odd incident he forced himself to arrange his papers and try to study a little before the evening meal the new child Gabriel stirred and whimpered and father spoke softly to Lily explaining the feeding procedure as he opened the container that held the formula and Equipment the evening proceeded as all evenings did in the family unit in the dwelling in the community quiet reflective time for Renewal and preparation for the day to come it was different only in the addition to it of the new child with his pale solemn knowing [Music] eyes Jonas rode at a leisurely Pace glancing at the bike ports beside the building to see if he could spot ashers he didn't often do his volunteer hours with his friend because Asher frequently Fooled Around and made serious work a little difficult but now with 12 coming so soon and the volunteer hours ending it didn't seem to matter the freedom to choose where to spend those hours had always seemed a wonderful luxury to Jonas other hours of the day were so carefully regulated he remembered when he had become an eight as Lily would do shortly and had been faced with that freedom of choice the eights always set out on their first volunteer hour a little nervously giggling and staying in groups of friends they almost invariably did their hours on Recreation Duty first helping with the younger ones in a place where they still felt comfortable but with guidance as they developed self-confidence and maturity they moved on to other jobs gravitating towards those that would suit their own interests and skills a male 11 named Benjamin had done his entire nearly four years in the rehabilitation center working with citizens who had been injured it was rumored that he was as skilled now as the rehabilitation directors themselves and that he had even developed some machines and methods to hasten Rehabilitation there was no doubt that Benjamin would receive his assignment to that field and would probably be permitted to bypass most of the the training Jonas was impressed by the things Benjamin Had achieved he knew him of course since they had always been groupmates but they had never talked about the boy's accomplishments because such a conversation would have been awkward for Benjamin there was never any comfortable way to mention or discuss one's successes without breaking the rule against bragging even if one didn't mean to it was a minor rule rather like rudeness punishable only by gentle chastisement but still better to steer clear of an occasion governed by a rule which would be so easy to break the area of dwellings behind him Jonas rode past the community structures hoping to spot Asher's bicycle parked beside one of the small factories or Office Buildings he passed the child care center where Lil stayed after school and the play area surrounding it he rode through the Central Plaza and the large Auditorium where public meetings were held Jonas slowed and looked at the name tags on the bicycles lined up outside the nurturing Center then he checked those outside food distribution it was always fun to help with the deliveries and he hoped he would find his friend there so that they could go together on The Daily rounds carrying the cartons of supplies into the dwellings of the community but he finally found Asher's bicycle leaning as usual instead of upright in its Port as it should have been at the house of the old there was only one other child's bicycle there that of a female 11 named Fiona Jonas liked Fiona she was a good student quiet and polite but she had a sense of fun as well and it didn't surprise him that she was working with Asher today he parked his bicycle neatly in the port beside theirs and entered the building hello Jonas the attendant at the front desk said she handed him the signup sheet and stamped her own official seal beside his signature all of his volunteer hours would be carefully tabulated at the hall of open records once long ago it was with whispered among the children and 11 had arrived at the ceremony of 12 only to hear a public announcement that he had not completed the required number of volunteer hours and would not therefore be given his assignment he had been permitted an additional month in which to complete the hours and then given his assignment privately with no applause no celebration a disgrace that had clouded his entire future it's good to have some volunteers here today the attendant told him we celebrated a releasee this morning and that always throws the schedule off a little so things get backed up she looked at a printed sheet let's see Asher and Fiona are helping in the bathing room why don't you join them there you know where it is don't you Jonas nodded thanked her and walked down the long hallway he glanced into the rooms on either side the old was sitting quietly some visiting and talking with one another others doing hand workk and simple crafts a few were were asleep each room was comfortably furnished the floors covered with thick carpeting it was a Serene and slow paced Place unlike the busy centers of manufacture and distribution where the daily work of the community occurred Jonas was glad that he had over the years chosen to do his hours in a variety of places so that he could experience the differences he realized though that not focusing on one area meant he was left with not the slightest idea not even a guess of what his assignment would be he laughed softly thinking about the ceremony again Jonas he teased himself but he suspected that with the date so near probably all of his friends were too he passed a caretaker walking slowly with one of the old in the hall hello Jonas the young uniformed man said smiling pleasantly the woman beside him whose arm he held was hunched over as she shuffled along in her soft slippers she looked toward Jonas and smiled but her dark eyes were clouded and blank he realized that she was blind he entered the bathing room with its warm moist air and scent of cleansing lotions he removed his tunic hung it carefully on a wall hook and put on the volunteer smok that was folded on a shelf hi Jonas Asher called from the corner where he was kneeling beside a tub Jonas saw Fiona nearby at a different tub she looked up and smiled at him but she was busy gently ly washing a man who lay in the warm water Jonas greeted them and the caretaking attendants at work nearby then he went to the row of padded lounging chairs where others of the old were waiting he had worked here before he knew what to do your turn Lissa he said reading the name tag on the woman's robe I'll just start the water and then help you up he pressed the button on a nearby empty tub and watched as the warm water flowed in through the many small openings on the side the tub would be filled in a minute and the water flow would stop automatically he helped the woman from the chair led her to the tub removed her robe and studied her with his hand on her arm as she stepped in and lowered herself she leaned back and sigh with pleasure her head on a soft cushioned headrest comfortable he asked and she nodded her eyes closed Jonas squeezed cleansing lotion onto the clean sponge at the edge of the tub and began to walk wash her frail body last night he had watched as his father bathed the new child this was much the same The Fragile skin the soothing water the gentle motion of his hand slippery with soap the relaxed peaceful smile on the woman's face reminded him of Gabriel being bathed and the nakedness too it was against the rules for children or adults to look at another's nakedness but the rule did not apply to new children or the old Jonas was glad it was a nuisance to keep oneself covered while changing for games and the required apology if one had by mistake glimpsed another's body was always awkward he couldn't see why it was necessary he liked the feeling of safety here in this warm and quiet room he liked the expression of Trust on the woman's face as she lay in the water unprotected exposed and free from the corner of his eye he could see his friend Fiona helped the old man from the tub and Tenderly Pat his thin naked body dry with an absorbent cloth she helped him into his robe Jonas thought Lissa had drifted into sleep as the old often did and he was careful to keep his motions steady and gentle so he wouldn't wake her he was surprised when she spoke her eyes still closed this morning we celebrated the release of Roberto she told him it was wonderful I knew Roberto Jonah said I helped with his feeding the last time I was here just a few weeks ago he was a very interesting man Marissa opened her eyes happily they told his whole life before they released him she said they always do but to be honest she whispered with a mischievous look some of the tellings are a little boring I've even seen some of the old fall asleep during tellings when they released Edna recently did you know Edna Jonah shook his head he couldn't recall anyone named Edna well they tried to make her life sound meaningful and of course she added primly all lives are meaningful I don't mean that they AR but Edna my goodness she was a birth mother and then she worked in food production for years until she came here she never even had a family unit Lissa lifted her head and looked around to make sure no one else was listening then she confided I don't think Edna was very smart Jonas laughed he rinsed her left arm laid it back into the water and began to wash her feet she murmured with pleasure as he massaged her feet with the sponge but Roberto's life was wonderful Lissa went on after a moment he had been an instructor of Els you know how important that is and he'd been on the planning committee and goodness I don't know how he found the time he also raised two very successful children and he was also the one who did the landscaping design for the Central Plaza he didn't do the actual labor of course now you're back lean forward and I'll help you sit up Jonas put his arm around her and supported her as she sat he squeezed the sponge against her back and began to rub her sharp boned shoulders tell me about the celebration well there was the telling of his life that is always first then the toast we all raised our glasses and cheered we chanted The Anthem he made a lovely goodbye speech and several of us made little speeches wishing him well I didn't though I've never been fond of public speaking he was thrilled you should have seen the look on his face when they let him go Jonas slowed The Strokes of his hand on her back thoughtfully Lissa he asked what happens when they make the actual release where exactly did Roberto go she lifted her bare wet shoulders in a small shrug I don't know I don't think anybody does except the committee he just bowed to all of us and then walked like they all do through the special door in the releasing room but you should have seen his look pure happiness I'd call it Jonas grinned I wish I'd been there to see it Lissa frowned I don't know why they don't let children come not enough room I guess they should enlar LGE the releasing room we'll have to suggest that to the committee maybe they'd study it Jonah said slightly and Lissa chortled would laugh to ride she hooted and Jonas helped her from the tub usually at the morning ritual when the family members told their dreams Jonas didn't contribute much he rarely dreamed sometimes he awoke with a feeling of fragments afloat in his sleep sleep but he couldn't seem to grasp them and put them together into something worthy of telling at the ritual but this morning was different he had dreamed very vividly the night before his mind wandered while lily as usual recounted a lengthy dream this one a frightening one in which she had against the rules been riding her mother's bicycle and been caught by the security guards they all listened carefully and discussed with Lily the warning that the dream had given thank you for your dream Lily Jonas said the standard phrase automatically and tried to pay better attention while his mother told of a dream fragment a disquieting scene where she had been chastised for a rule infraction she didn't understand together they agreed that it probably resulted from her feelings when she had reluctantly dealt punishment to the citizen who had broken the major rules a second time father said that he had had no dreams Gabe father asked looking down at the basket with the new child lay gurgling after his feeding ready to be taken back to the nurturing center for the day they all laughed dreamt telling began with threes if new children dreamed no one knew Jonas mother asked they always asked though they knew how rarely Jonas had a dream to tell I did dream last night Jonas told him he shifted in his chair frowning good father said tell us the details aren't clear really Jonas explained trying to recreate the odd dream in his mind I think I was in the bathing room at the house of the old that's where you were yesterday father pointed out Jonas nodded but it wasn't really the same there was a tub in the dream but only one and the real bathing room has rows and rows of them but the room in the dream was warm and damp and I had taken off my tunic but hadn't put on the smok so my chest was Bare I was perspiring because it was so warm and Fiona was there the way she was yesterday Asher too mother asked Jonah shook his head no it was only me and Fiona alone in the room standing beside the tub she was laughing but I wasn't I was almost a little angry at her in the dream because she wasn't taking me seriously seriously about what Lily asked Jonas looked at his plate for some reason that he didn't understand he felt slightly embarrassed embarrassed I think I was trying to convince her that she should get into the tub of water he paused he knew he had to tell it all that it was not only all right but necessary to tell all of a dream so he forced himself to relate the part that made him uneasy I wanted her to take off her clothes and get into the tub he explained quickly I wanted to bathe her I had the sponge in my hand but she wouldn't she kept laughing and saying no he looked up at his parents that's all he said can you describe the strongest feeling in your dream son father asked Jonas thought about it the details were murky and vague but the feelings were clear and flooded him again now as he thought the wanting he said I knew that she wouldn't and I think I knew that she shouldn't but I wanted it so terribly I could feel the wanting all through me thank you for your dream Jonas mother said after a moment she glanced at father Lily father said it's time to leave for school would you walk beside me this morning and keep an eye on the new child's basket we want to be certain he doesn't wiggle himself loose Jonas began to rise to collect his school books he thought it surprising that they hadn't talked about his dream at length before the thank you perhaps they found it as confusing as he had wait Jonas mother said gently I'll write an apology to your instructor so that you won't have to speak one for being late he sank back down into his chair puzzled he waved to father and Lily as they left the dwelling carrying Gabe in his basket he watched while mother tidied the remains of the morning meal and placed the tray by the front door for the collection crew finally she sat down beside him at the table Jonas she said with a smile the feeling you described as the wanting it was your first stirrings father and I have been expecting it to happen to you it happens to everyone it happened to father when he was your age and it happened to me and it will happen someday to Lily and very often mother added it begins with a dream stirrings he had heard the word before he remembered that there was a reference to the stirrings in the Book of Rules though he didn't remember what it said and now and then the speaker mentioned it attention a reminder that stirrings must be reported in order for treatment to take place he had always ignored that announcement because he didn't understand it and it had never seemed to apply to him in any way he ignored as most citizens did many of the commands and reminders read by the speaker do I have to report it he asked his mother she laughed you did in the dreamt telling that's enough but what what about the treatment the speaker says the treatment must take place Jonas felt miserable just when the ceremony was about to happen his ceremony of 12 would he have to go away someplace for treatment just because of his stupid dream but his mother laughed again in a reassuring affectionate way no no she said it's just the pills you're ready for the pills that's all that's the treatment for stirrings Jonas brightened he knew about the pills his parents both took them each morning and some of his friends did he knew once he had been heading off to school with Asher both of them on their bikes when Asher's father had called from their dwelling doorway you forgot your pill Asher Asher had groaned good-naturedly turned his bike and ridden back while Jonas waited it was the sort of thing one didn't ask a friend about because it might have fallen into that uncomfortable category of being different Asher took a pill each morning Jonas did not always better less rude to talk about things that were the same now he swallowed the small pill that his mother handed him that's all he asked that's all she replied returning the bottle to the cupboard but you mustn't forget I'll remind you for the first weeks but then you must do it on your own if you forget the stirrings will come back the dreams of stirrings will come back sometimes the dosage must be adjusted Asher takes them Jonas confided his mother nodded unsurprised many of your groupmates probably do the males at least and they all will soon females too how long will I have to take them until you enter the house of the old she explained all of your adult life but it becomes routine after a while you won't even pay much attention to it she looked at her watch if you leave right now you won't even be late for school hurry along and thank you again Jonas she added as he went to the door for your dream pedaling rapidly down the path Jonas felt felt oddly proud to have joined those who took the pills for a moment though he remembered the dream again the dream had felt pleasurable though the feelings were confused he thought that he had liked the feelings that his mother had called stirrings he remembered that upon waking he' wanted to feel the stirrings again then in the same way that his own dwelling Slipped Away behind him as he rounded a corner in his bicycle the dream slipped away from his thoughts very briefly a little guiltily he tried to grasp it back but the feelings had disappeared the stirrings were gone Lily please hold still mother said again Lily standing in front of her fidgeted impatiently I can tie them myself she complained I always have I know that mother replied straightening the hairib ribbons and the little girl's braids but I also know that they constantly come loose and more often than not they're dangling down your back by afternoon today at least we want them to be neatly tied and to stay neatly tied I don't like hair ribbons I'm glad I only have to wear them one more year Lily said irritably next year I get my bicycle too she added more cheerfully there are good things each year Jonas reminded her this year you get to start your volunteer hours and remember last year when you became a seven you were so happy to get your front button jacket the little girl nodded and looked down at herself at the jacket with its row of large buttons that designated her as a seven fours fives and sixes all wore jackets that fasten down the back so that they would have to help each other dress and would learn interdependence the front button jacket was the first sign of Independence the first very visible symbol of growing up the bicycle at 9: would be the powerful emblem of moving gradually out into the community away from the protective family unit Lily grinned and wriggled away from her mother and this year you get your assignment she said to Jonas in an excited voice I hope you get pilot that you take me flying sure I will said Jonas and I'll get a special little parachute that just fits you and I'll take you up to oh maybe 20,000 ft and open the door and Jonas mother warned I was only joking Jonas groaned I don't want pilot anyway if I get pilot I'll put in an appeal come on mother said she gave Lily's ribbons a final tug Jonas are you ready did you take your pill I want to get a good seat in the auditorium she prodded Lily to the front door and Jonas followed it was a short ride to the auditorium Lily waving to her friends from her seat on the back of Mother's bicycle Jonas stowed his bicycle beside mother's and made his way through the throng to find his group the entire Community attended the ceremony each year for the parents had meant two days Holiday from work they sat together in the huge Hall children sat with their groups until they went one by one to the stage father though would not join mother in the audience right away for the earliest ceremony the naming the nurturers brought the new children to the stage Jonas from his place in the balcony with the Els searched the auditorium for a glimpse of Father it wasn't at all hard to spot the nurturer section at the front coming from it with whales and howls of the new children who sat squirming on the nurturer laps at every other public ceremony the audience was silent and attentive but once a year they all smiled indulgently at the commotion from the little ones waiting to receive their names and families Jonas finally caught his father's eye and waved father grinned and waved back then held up the hand of the new child on his lap making it wave too it wasn't Gabriel Gabe was back at the nurturing center today being cared for by the night crew he had been given an unusual and special reprieve from the committee and granted an additional year of nurturing before his naming and placement father had gone before the committee with a plea on behalf of Gabriel who had not yet gained the weight appropriate to his days of life nor begun to sleep soundly enough at night to be placed with his family unit normally such a new child would be labeled inadequate and released from the community instead as a result of Father's plea Gabriel had been labeled uncertain and given the additional year he would continue to be nurtured at the center and would spend his nights with Jonas's family unit each family member including Lily had been required to sign a pledge that they would not become attached to this little temporary guest and that they would relinquish him without protest or appeal when he was assigned to his own family unit and next year ceremony at least Jonas thought after Gabriel was placed next year they would still see him often because he would be part of the community if he were released they would not see him again ever those who were released even as new children were sent elsewhere and never returned to the community father had not had to release a single new child this year so Gabriel would have represented a real failure and sadness even Jonas though he didn't hover over the little one the way Lily and his father did was glad that Gabe had not been released the first ceremony began right on time and Jonas watched as one after another each new child was given a name name and handed by the nurturers to its new family unit for some it was a first child but many came to the stage accompanied by another child beaming with pride to receive a little brother or sister the way Jonas had when he was about to be a five Asher poked Jonas's arm remember when we got Philippa he asked in a loud whisper Jonas nodded it had only been last year Asher's parents had waited quite a long time before applying for a second child maybe Jonah suspected they had been been so exhausted by Asher's Lively foolishness that they had needed a little time two of their group Fiona and another female named Thea were missing temporarily waiting with their parents to receive new children but it was rare that there was such an age gap between children in a family unit when her family ceremony was completed Fiona took the seat that had been saved for her in the row ahead of Asher and Jonas she turned and whispered to them he's cute but I don't like his name very much she made a face and giggled Fiona's new brother had been named Bruno it wasn't a great name Jonas thought like well like Gabriel for example but it was okay the audience Applause which was enthusiastic at each naming Rose in an exuberant swell when one parental pair glowing with pride took a male new child and heard him named Caleb this new Caleb was a replacement child the couple had lost their first Caleb a cheerful little four loss of a child was very very rare the community was extraordinarily safe each citizen watchful and protective of all children but somehow the first little Caleb had wandered away unnoticed and had fallen into the river the entire Community had performed the ceremony of loss together murmuring the name Caleb throughout an entire day less and less frequently softer in volume as the long and somber day went on so that the little four seemed to fade away gradually from everyone's Consciousness now at this special naming the community performed the brief murmur of replacement ceremony repeating the name for the first time since the loss softly and slowly at first then faster and with greater volume as the couple stood on the stage with the new child sleeping in the mother's arms it was as if the first Caleb were returning another new child was given the name Roberto and Jonas remembered that Roberto the old had been released only last week but there was no murmur of replacement ceremony for the new little Roberto release was not the same as loss he sat politely through the ceremonies of two and three and four increasingly bored as he was each year then a break for midday meal served outdoors and back again to the seats for the fives sixes sevens and finally last of the first day ceremony the eights Jonas watched and cheered as Lily marched proudly to the stage became an eight and received the identifying jacket that she would wear this year this one with smaller buttons and for the first time Pockets indicating that she was mature enough now to keep track of her own small belongings she stood solemnly listening to the speech of firm instructions on the responsibilities of eight and doing volunteer hours for the first time but Jonas could see that Lily though she seemed to tend attentive was looking longingly at the row of gleaming bicycles which would be presented tomorrow morning to the nines next year ly Billy Jonas thought it was an exhausting day and even Gabriel retrieved in his basket from the nurturing Center slept soundly that night finally it was the morning of the ceremony of [Music] 12 now father sat beside mother in the audience Jonas could see them applauding dutifully as the nines one by one wheeled their new bicycles each with its gleaming name tag attached to the back from the stage he knew that his parents cringed a little as he did when Fritz who lived in the dwelling next door to theirs received his bike and almost immediately bumped into the podium with it Fritz was a very awkward child who had been summoned for chastisement again and again his transgression were small ones always shoes and the wrong feet schoolwork misplaced failure to study adequately for a quiz but each such error reflected negatively on his parents guidance and infringed on the community sense of order and success Jonas and his family had not been looking forward to Fritz's bicycle which they realized would probably too often be dropped on the front walk instead of wheeled neatly into its Port finally the nines were all resettled in their seats each having wheeled a bicycle outside where it would be waiting for its owner at the end of the day everyone always chuckled and made small jokes when the nines rode home for the first time want me to show you how to ride older friends would call I know you've never been on a bike before but invariably the grinning nines who in technical violation of the rule had been practicing secretly for weeks would Mount and ride off in perfect balance training wheels never touching the ground then the tens Jonas never found the ceremony of 10 particularly interesting only timeconsuming as each child's hair was snipped neatly into its distinguishing cut females lost their braids at 10 and males too relinquished their long childish hair and took on the more manly short style which exposed their ears laborers moved quickly to the stage with brooms and swept away the Mounds of discarded hair Jonas could see the parents of the new T stir and murmur and he knew that this evening in many dwelling they would be snipping and straightening the hastily done haircuts trimming them into a neater line Els it seemed a short time ago that Jonas had undergone the ceremony of 11 but he remembered that it was not one of the more interesting ones by 11 one was only waiting to be 12 it was simply a marking of time with no meaningful changes there was new clothing different undergarments for the females whose bodies were beginning to change and longer trousers for the males with a specially shaped pocket for the small calculator later that they would use this year in school but those were simply presented in wrapped packages without an accompanying speech break for midday meal Jonas realized he was hungry he and his groupmates congregated by the tables in front of the auditorium and took their packaged food yesterday they had been mert at lunch a lot of teasing and energy but today the group stood anxiously separate from the other children Jonas watched the new nines gravitate toward their waiting bicycles each one admiring his or her name tag he saw the tens stroking their new shortened hair the females shaking their heads to feel the unaccustomed lightness without the heavy braids they had worn so long I heard about a guy who was absolutely certain he was going to be a signed engineer Asher muttered as they ate and instead they gave him sanitation laborer he went out the next day jumped into the river swam across and joined the next Community he came to nobody ever saw him again Jonas laughed somebody made that story up Ash he said my father said he heard that story when he was a 12 but Asher wasn't reassured he was eyeing the river where it was visible behind the auditorium I can't even swim very well he said my swimming instructor said that I don't have the right boyishness or something buoyancy Jonas corrected him whatever I don't have it I sink anyway Jonas pointed out have you ever once known of anyone I mean really known for sure Asher not just heard a story about it who joined another community no Asher admitted reluctantly but you can it says so in the rules if you don't fit in you can apply for elsewhere and be released my mother says that once about 10 years ago someone applied and was gone the next day then he chuckled she told me that because I was driving her crazy she threatened to apply for elsewhere she was joking I know but it was true what she said that someone did that once she said that it was really true here today and gone tomorrow never seen again not even a ceremony of release Jonas Shrugged it didn't worry him how could someone not fit in the community was so meticulously ordered the choices so carefully made even the matching of spouses was given such weighty consideration that sometimes an adult who applied to receive a spouse waited months or even years before a match was approved and announced all of the factors disposition energy level intelligence and interest had to correspond and to interact perfectly Jonas's mother for example had higher intelligence than his father but his father had a calmer disposition they balanced each other their match which like all matches had been monitored by the committee of Elders for three years before they could apply for children had always been a successful one like the matching of spouses and the naming and placement of new children the assignments were scrupulously thought through by the committee of Elders he was certain that his assignment whatever it was to be and ashers too would be the right one for them he only wished that the midday break would conclude that the audience would re-enter the auditorium and the suspense would end as if in answer to his unspoken wish the signal came and the crowd began to move toward the doors [Music] now Jonas's group had taken a new place in the auditorium trading with the new El so that they sat in the very front immediately before the stage they were arranged by their original numbers the numbers they had been given at Birth the numbers were rarely used after the naming but each child knew his number of course sometimes parents use them in irritation at a child's misbehavior indicating that Mischief made one Unworthy of of a name Jonas always chuckled when he heard a parent exasperated call sharply to a whining toddler that's enough 23 Jonas was 19 he had been the 19th new child born his year it had meant that at his naming he had been already standing and bright eyed soon to walk and talk it had given him a slight Advantage the first year or two a little more maturity than many of his group mates who had been born in the later months of that year but it evened out as it always did by three after three the children progressed at much the same level though by their first number one could always tell who was a few months older than others in the group technically Jonas's full number was 1119 since there were other 19s of course in each age group and today now that the new 11s had been Advanced this morning there were two 119s at the midday break he had exchanged Smiles with the new one a shy female named Harriet but the duplication was only for for these few hours very soon he would not be an 11 but a 12 and age would no longer matter he would be an adult like his parents though a new one and untrained still Asher was four and sat now on the row ahead of Jonas he would receive his assignment fourth Fiona 18 was on his left on his other side sat 20 a male named Pierre whom Jonas didn't like much Pierre was very serious not much fun and a warrior and tattletale too have you checked the rules Jonas Pierre was always Whispering solemnly I'm not sure that's within the rules usually it was some foolish thing that no one cared about opening his tunic if it was a day with a breeze taking a brief try on a friend's bicycle just to experience the different feel of it the initial speech at the ceremony of 12 was made by the Chief Elder the leader of the community who was elected every 10 years the speech was much the same each year recollection of the time of childhood and the period of preparation the coming responsibilities of ad adult life the profound importance of assignment the seriousness of training to come then the Chief Elder moved ahead in Her speech this is the time she began looking directly at them when we acknowledge differences you 11s have spent all your years till now learning to fit in to standardize your behavior to curb any impulse that might set you apart from the group but today we honor your differences they have determined your futures she began to describe this year's group and its variety of personalities though she singled no one out by name she mentioned that there was one who had singular skills at caretaking another Who Loved new children one with unusual scientific aptitude and a fourth for whom physical labor was an obvious pleasure Jonas shifted in his seat trying to recognize each reference as one of his groupmates the caretaking skills were no doubt those of Fiona on his left he remembered noticing the tenderness with which she had bathed the old probably the one with scientific aptitude was Benjamin the male who would devis new important equipment for the rehabilitation center he heard nothing that he recognized as himself Jonas finally the Chief Elder paid tribute to the hard work of her committee which had performed the observation so meticulously all year the committee of Elders stood and was acknowledged by Applause Jonas noticed Asher yawned slightly covering his mouth politely with his hand then at last the Chief Elder called number one to the stage and the assignments began each announcement was lengthy accompanied by a speech directed at the new12 Jonas tried to pay attention as one smiling happily received her assignment as fishh Hatchery attendant along with words of praise for her childhood spent doing many volunteer hours there in her obvious interest in the important process of providing nourishment for the community number one her name was meline returned turned finally amidst Applause to her seat wearing the new badge that designated her Fish Hatchery attendant Jonas was certainly glad that that assignment was taken he wouldn't have wanted it but he gave meline a smile of congratulation when two a female named Inger received her assignment as birth mother Jonas remembered that his mother had called it a job without honor but he thought that the committee had chosen well iner was a nice girl though somewhat lazy and her body was strong she would enjoy the 3 years of being ped that would follow her brief training she would give birth easily and well and the task of laborer that would follow would use her strength keep her healthy impose self-discipline Inger was smiling when she resumed her seat birth mother was an important job if lacking in Prestige Jonas noticed that Asher looked nervous he kept turning his head and glancing back at Jonas until the group leader had to give him a silent chastisement aemotion to sit still and face forward three Isaac was given an assignment as instructor of sixes which obviously pleased him and was welld deserved now there were three assignments gone none of them ones that Jonas would have liked not that he could have been a birth mother anyway he realized with Amusement he tried to sort through the list in his mind the possible assignments that remained but there were so many he gave it up and anyway now it was Asher's turn he paid strict attention as his friend went to the stage and Stood self-consciously Beside the Chief Elder all of us in the community know and enjoy Asher the Chief Elder began Asher grinned and scratched one leg with the other foot the audience chuckled softly when the committee began to consider Asher's assignment she went on there were some possibilities that were immediately discarded some that would clearly not have been right for Asher for example she said smiling we did not consider for an instant designating Asher an instructor of threes the audience howled with laughter Asher laughed too looking sheepish but pleased at the special attention the instructor of Threes were in charge of the acquisition of correct language in fact the Chief Elder continued chuckling a little herself we even gave a little thought to some retroactive chastisement for the one who had been Asher's instructor of Threes so long ago at the meeting where Asher was discussed we retold many of the stories that we all remembered from his days of language acquisition especially she said chuckling the difference between snack and smack remember Asher Asher nodded ruul and the audience laughed aloud Jonas did too he remembered though he had been only a three at the time himself the punishment used for small children was a regulated system of smacks with the discipline wand a thin flexible weapon that stung painfully when it was wielded the Child Care Specialists were trained very carefully in the discipline methods a quick smack across the hands for a bit of minor misbehavior three sharper smacks on the bare legs for a second offense poor Asher who always talked too fast and mixed up words even as a toddler as a three eager for his juice and crackers at snack time he one day said smack instead of snack as he stood waiting in line for the morning treat Jonas remembered it clearly he could still see little Asher wiggling with impatience in the line he remembered the cheerful voice call out I want my smack the other threes including Jonas had laughed nervously snack they corrected you meant snack Asher but the mistake had been made and precision of language was one of the most important tasks of small children Asher had asked for a smack the disciplined wand in the hand of the child care worker whistled as it came down across Asher's hands Asher whimpered cringed and corrected himself instantly snack he whispered but the next morning he had done it again and again the following week he couldn't seem to stop though for each lapse the discipline wand came again escalating to a series of painful lashes that left marks on Asher's legs eventually for a period of time Asher stopped talking all together when he was a three for a while the Chief Elder said relating the story we had a silent Asher but he learned she turned to him with a smile when he began to talk again it was with greater precision and now his lapses are very few his Corrections and apologies are very prompt and his good humor is unfailing the audience murmured in agreement Asher's cheerful disposition was well known throughout the community Asher she lifted her voice to make the official announcement we have given you the assignment of assistant director of recreation she clipped on his new badge as he stood beside her be beaming then he turned and left the stage as the audience cheered when he had taken his seat again the Chief Elder looked down at him and said the words that she had said now four times and would say to each new 12 somehow she gave it special meaning for each of them Asher she said thank you for your childhood the assignments continued and Jonas watched and listened relieved now by the wonderful assignment his best friend had been given but he was more and more apprehensive as his own approached now the new twelves in the row ahead had all received their badges they were fingering them as they sat and Jonas knew that each one was thinking about the training that lay ahead for some one studious male had been selected as Doctor a female as engineer and another for Law and Justice it would be years of hard work and study others like laborers and birth mothers would have a much shorter training period 18 Fiona on his left was called Jonas knew she must be nervous but Fiona was a calm female she had been sitting quietly serenely throughout the ceremony even the Applause though enthusiastic seemed Serene when Fiona was given the important assignment of caretaker of the old it was perfect for such a sensitive gentle girl and her smile was satisfied and pleased when she took her seat beside him again Jonas prepared himself to walk to the stage when the Applause ended and the chief Elder picked up the next folder and looked down to the group to call forward the next new 12 he was calm now that his turn had come he took a deep breath and smoothed his hair with his hand 20 he heard her voice say clearly Pierre she skipped me Jonas thought stunned had he heard wrong no there was a sudden hush in the crowd and he knew that the entire Community realized that the Chief Elder had moved from 18 to 20 leaving a gap on his right Pierre with a startled look Rose from his seat and moved to the stage a mistake she made a mistake but Jonas knew even as he had the thought that she hadn't the Chief Elder made no mistakes not at the ceremony of 12 he felt dizzy and couldn't focus his attention he didn't hear what assignment Pierre received and was only dimly aware of the Applause as the boy returned wearing his new badge then 21 22 the numbers continued in order Jonas sat dazed as they moved into the 30s and in the 40s nearing the end each time at each announcement his heart jumped for a moment and he thought wild thoughts perhaps now she would call his name could he have forgotten his own number no he had always been 19 he was sitting in the seat mark 19 but she had skipped him he saw the others in his group glance at him embarrassed and then avert their eyes quickly he saw a worried look on the face of his group leader he hunched his shoulders and tried to make himself smaller in the seat he wanted to disappear to fade away not to exist he didn't dare to turn and find his parents in the crowd he couldn't bear to see their faces darkened with shame Jonas bowed his head and searched through his mind what had he done wrong the audience was clearly ill at ease they applauded at the final assignment but the applause was peac meal no longer a crescendo of United enthusiasm there were murmur of confusion Jonas moved his hands together clapping but it was an automatic meaningless gesture that he wasn't even aware of his mind had shut out all of the earlier emotions the anticipation excitement pride and even the happy kinship with his friends now he felt only humiliation and Terror the Chief Elder waited until the uneasy Applause subsided then she spoke again I know she said in her vibrant gracious voice that you are all concerned that you feel I have made a mistake she smiled the community relieved from its discomfort very slightly by her benign statement seemed to breathe more easily it was very silent Jonas looked up I have caused you anxiety she said I apologized to my community her voice flowed over the assembled crowd we accept your apology they all uttered together Jonas she said looking down at him I apologize to you in particular I caused you anguish I accept your apology Jonas replied shakily please come to the stage now earlier that day dressing in his own dwelling he had practiced the kind of jaunty self- assured walk that he hoped he could make to the stage when his turn came all of that was forgotten now he simply willed himself to stand to move his feet that felt weighted and clumsy to go forward up the steps and across the platform until he stood at her side reassuringly she placed her arm across his tense shoulders Jonas has not been assigned she informed the crowd and his heart sank then she went on Jonas has been selected he blinked what did that mean he felt the collective questioning stir from the audience they too were puzzled in a firm commanding voice she announced Jonas has been selected to be our next receiver of memory then he heard the gasp the sudden intake of breath drawn sharply in astonishment by each of the seated citizens he saw their faces the eyes widened in awe and still he did not understand such a selection is very very rare the Chief Elder told the audience our community has only one receiver it is he who trains his successor we have had our current receiver for a very long time she went on Jonas followed her eyes and saw that she was looking at one of the elders the committee of Elders was sitting together in a group and the chief Elder's eyes were now on one who sat in the midst but seemed oddly separate from them it was a man Jonas had never noticed before a bearded man with pale eyes he was watching Jonas intently we failed in our last selection the Chief Elder said solemnly it was 10 years ago when Jonas was just a toddler I will not dwell on the experience because it causes us all terrible discomfort Jonas didn't know what she was referring to but he could sense the discomfort of the audience they shifted uneasily in their seats we have not been Hasty this time she continued we could not afford another fail sometimes she went on speaking now in a lighter tone relaxing the tension in the auditorium we are not entirely certain about the assignments even after the most painstaking observations sometimes we worry that the one assigned might not develop through training every attribute necessary Els are still children after all what we observe as playfulness and patience the requirements to become nurturer could with maturity be revealed as simply foolishness and indolence so we continue to observe during training and to modify behavior when necessary but the receiver in training cannot be observed cannot be modified that is stated quite clearly in the rules he us to be alone apart while he is prepared by the current receiver for the job which is the most honored in our community alone apart Jonas listened with increasing unease therefore the selection must be found it must be a unanimous choice of the committee they can have no doubts however fleeting if during the process an elder reports a dream of uncertainty that dream has the power to set a candidate aside instantly jonus was identified as a possible receiver many years ago we have observed him meticulously there were no dreams of uncertainty he has shown all of the qualities that a receiver must have with her hand still firmly on his shoulder the Chief Elder listed the qualities intelligence she said we are all aware that Jonas has been a top student throughout his school days Integrity she said next Jonas has like all of us committed minor transgressions she smiled at him we expect that we hoped also that he would present himself promptly for chastisement and he has always done so courage she went on only one of us here today has ever undergone the rigorous training required of a receiver he of course is the most important member of the committee the current receiver it was he who reminded us again and again of the courage required Jonas she said turning to him but speaking in a voice that the entire Community could hear the training required of you involves pain physical pain he felt fear flutter within him you have never experienced that yes you have scraped your knees and falls from your bicycle yes you crushed your finger in a door last year Jonas nodded agreeing as he recalled the incident and its accompanying misery but you will be faced now she explained gently with pain of a magnitude that none of us here can comprehend because it is beyond our experience the receiver himself was not able to describe it only to remind us that you be faced with it that you would need immense courage we cannot prepare you for that but we feel certain that you are brave she said to him he did not feel Brave at all not now the fourth essential attribute the Chief Elder said is wisdom Jonas has not yet acquired that the acquisition of wisdom will come through his training we are convinced that Jonah has the ability to acquire wisdom that is what we looked for finally the receiver must have one more quality and it is one which I can only name but not describe I do not understand it you members of the community will not understand it either perhaps Jonas will because the current receiver has told us that Jonas already has this quality he calls it the capacity to see beyond the Chief Elder looked at shown us with a question in her eyes the audience watched him too they were silent for a moment he froze consumed with despair he didn't have it to whatever she had said he didn't know what it was now was the moment when he would have to confess to say no I don't I can't and throw himself on their Mercy ask their forgiveness to explain that he had been wrongly chosen that he was not the right one at all but when he looked out across the the crowd the Sea of Faces the thing happened again the thing that had happened with the Apple they changed he blinked and it was gone his shoulders straightened slightly briefly he felt a tiny sliver of shess for the first time she was still watching him they all were I think it's true he told the Chief Elder in the community I don't understand it yet I don't know what it is but sometimes I see something and maybe it's beyond she took her arm from his shoulders Jonas she said speaking not to him alone but to the entire community of which he was a part you will be trained to be our next receiver of memory we thank you for your childhood then she turned and left the stage left him there alone standing and facing the crowd which began spontaneously the collective murmur of his name Jonas it was a whisper at first hushed barely audible Jonas Jonas then louder faster Jonas Jonas Jonas with the chant Jonas knew the community was accepting him and his new role giving him life the way they had given it to the new child Caleb his heart swelled with gratitude and pride but at the same time he was filled with fear he did not know what his selection meant he did not know what he was to become or what would become of him now for the first time in his 12 years years of life Jonas felt separate different he remembered what the Chief Elder had said that his training would be alone and apart but his training had not yet begun and already upon leaving the auditorium he felt the apartness holding the folder she had given him he made his way through the throng looking for his family unit and for Asher people moved aside for him they watched him he thought he could hear Whispers Ash he called spotting his friend near the rows of bicycles ride back with me sure Asher smiled his usual smile friendly and familiar but Jonas felt a moment of hesitation from his friend and uncertainty congratulations Asher said you too Jonas replied it was really funny when she told about the smacks you got more Applause than almost anybody else the other new tws clustered nearby placing their folders carefully into the carrying containers on the backs of the bikes in each dwelling tonight they would be studying the instructions for the beginning of their training each night for years the children had memorized the required lesson for school often yawning with boredom tonight they would all begin eagerly to memorize the rules for their adult assignments congratulations Asher someone called then that hesitation again you too Jonas Asher and Jonas responded with congratulations to their groupmates Jonas saw his parents watching him from the place where their own bicycles were waiting Lily had already been strapped into her seat he waved they waved back smiling but he noticed that Lily was watching him solemnly her thumb and her mouth he rode directly to his dwelling exchanging only small jokes and unimportant remarks with Asher see you in the morning Recreation director he called dismounting by his door as ashard continued on right see you Asher called back once again there was just a moment when things weren't quite the same weren't quite as they had always been through the long friendship perhaps he had imagined it things couldn't change with Asher the evening meal was quieter than usual Lily chattered about her plans for volunteer work she would begin she said at the nurturing Center since she was already an expert at feeding Gabriel I know she added quickly when her father gave her a warning glance I won't mention his name I know I'm not supposed to know name I can't wait for tomorrow to come she said happily Jonas sighed uneasily I can he muttered you've been greatly honored his mother said your father and I are very proud it's the most important job in the community father said but just the other night you said that the job of making assignments was the most important mother nodded this is different it's not a job really I never thought never expected she paused there's only one receiver but the chief Elders said that they had made a selection before and that it failed what was she talking about both of his parents hesitated finally his father described the previous election it was very much as it was today Jonas the same suspense as 111 had been passed over when the assignments were given then the announcement when they singled out the one Jonas interruped what was his name his mother replied her not his it was a female but we are never to speak the name or to use it again for a new child Jonas was shocked a name designated not to be spoken indicated the highest degree of disgrace what happened to her he asked nervously but his parents looked blank we don't know his father said uncomfortably we never saw her again a silence fell over the room they looked at each other finally his mother rising from the table said you've been greatly honored Jonas greatly honored alone in his sleeping room prepared for bed Jonas opened his folder at last some of the other twelves he had noticed had been given folder was thick with printed Pages he imagined Benjamin the scientific male in his group beginning to read pages of rules and instructions with relish he pictured Fiona smiling her gentle smile as she bent over the lists of Duties and methods that she would be required to learn in the days to come but his own folder was startlingly close to empty inside there was only a single printed sheat he read it twice Jonas receiver of memory one go immediately at the end of school hours each day to the annex entrance behind the house of the old and present yourself to the attendant two go immediately to your dwelling at the conclusion of training hours each day three from this moment you are Exempted from Rules governing rudess you may ask any question of any citizen and you will receive answers four do not discuss your training with any other member of the community including parents and Elders five from this moment you are prohibited from dreamt telling six except for illness or injury unrelated to your training do not apply for any medication seven you are not permitted to apply for release eight you may lie Jonas was stunned what would happen to his friendships his mindless hours playing ball or riding his bike along the river those had been happy and vital times for him were they to be completely taken from him now the simple logistic instructions where to go and when were expected every 12 had to be told of course where and how and when to report for training but he was a little dismayed that his schedule left no time apparently for recreation the exemption from rudeness startled him reading it again however he realized that it didn't compel him to be rude it simply allowed him the option he was quite certain he would never take advantage of it he was so completely so thoroughly accustomed to Courtesy within the community that the thought of asking another citizen an intimate question of calling someone's attention to an area of awkwardness was unnerving the Prohibition of dreamt telling he thought would not be a real problem he dreamed so rarely that the dreamt telling did not come easily to him anyway and he was glad to be excused from it he wondered briefly though how to deal with it at the morning meal what if he did dream should he simply tell his family unit as he did so often anyway that he hadn't that would be a lie still the final rule said well he was wasn't quite ready to think about the final rule on the page the Restriction of medication unnerved him medication was always available to Citizens even to Children through their parents when he had crushed his finger in the door he had quickly gasping into the speaker notified his mother she had hastily requisitioned relief of pain medication which had promptly been delivered to his dwelling almost instantly the excruciating pain in his hand had diminished to the throb which was now all he could recall of the experience rereading rule number six he realized that a crushed finger fell into the category of unrelated to training so if it ever happened again and he was quite certain it wouldn't he had been very careful near heavy doors since the accident he could still receive medication the pill he took now each morning was also unrelated to training so he would continue to receive the pill but he remembered uneasily what the Chief Elder had said about the pain that would come with his training she had called it Indescribable Jonas swallowed hard trying without success to imagine what such pain might be like with no medication at all but it was beyond his comprehension he felt no reaction to rule number seven at all it had never occurred to him that under any circumstances ever he might apply for release finally he stealed himself to read the final rule again he had been trained since earliest childhood since his earliest learning of language never to lie it was an integral part of a learning of precise speech once when he had been a four he had said just prior to the midday meal at school I'm starving immediately he had been taken aside for a brief private lesson in language Precision he was not starving it was pointed out he was hungry no one in the community was starving had ever been starving would ever be starving to say starving was to speak a lie an unintentional lie of course but the reason for precision of language was to ensure that unintentional lies were never uttered did he understand that I asked him and he had he had never within his memory been tempted to lie Asher did not lie Lily did not lie his parents did not lie no one did unless now Jonas had the thought that he had never had before this new thought was frightening what if others adults had upon becoming twelves received in their instructions the same terrifying sentence what if they had all been instructed you may lie his mind reeled now empowered to ask questions of utmost rudess and promised answers he could conceivably though it was almost unimaginable ask someone some adult his father perhaps do you lie but he would have no way of knowing if the answer he received were true I go in here Jonas Fiona told him when they reached the front front door of the House of the old after parking their bicycles in the designated area I don't know why I'm nervous she confessed I've been here so often before she turned her folder over in her hands well everything's different now Jonas reminded her even the name plates on our bikes Fiona laughed during the night the name plate of each new 12 had been removed by the maintenance crew and replaced with the style that indicated citizen training I don't want to be late she said hastily and started up the steps if we finish at the same time I'll ride home with you Jonas nodded waved to her and headed around the building toward the annex a small wing attached to the back he certainly didn't want to be late for his first day of training either the annex was very ordinary its door unremarkable he reached for the heavy handle then noticed a buzzer on the wall so he buzzed instead yes The Voice came through a small speaker above the buzzer it's uh Jonas I'm the new uh I mean come in a click indicated that the door had been unlatched the lobby was very small and contained only a desk at which a female attendant sat working on some papers she looked up when he entered then to his surprise she stood it was a small thing the standing but no one had ever stood automatically to acknowledge Jonas's presence before welcome receiver of memory she said respectfully oh please he replied uncomfortably call me Jonas she smiled pushed a button and he heard a click that unlocked the door to her left you may go right on in she told him then she seemed to notice his discomfort and to realize its origin no doors in the community were locked ever none that Jonas knew of anyway the locks are simply to ensure the receiver's privacy because he needs concentration she explained it would be difficult if citizens wandered in looking for the Department of bicycle repair or something Jonas laughed relaxing a little the woman seemed very friendly and it was true in fact it was a joke throughout the community that the department of bicycle repair an unimportant little office was relocated so often that no one ever knew where it was there is nothing dangerous here she told him but she added glancing at the wall clock he doesn't like to be kept waiting Jonas hurried through the door and found himself in a comfortably furnished living area it was not unlike his own family units dwelling Furniture was standard throughout the community practical sturdy the function of each piece clearly defined a bed for sleeping a table for eating a desk for studying all all of those things were in this spacious room though each was slightly different from those in his own dwelling the Fabrics on the upholster chairs and sofa were slightly thicker and more luxurious the table legs were not straight like those at home but slender and curved with a small carved decoration at the foot the bed in an Al Cove at the far end of the room was draped with a splendid cloth embroidered over its entire surface with intricate designs but the most conspicuous difference was the books in his own dwelling there were the necessary reference volumes that each household contained a dictionary and the thick Community volume which contained descriptions of every office Factory building and committee and the Book of Rules of course the books in his own dwelling were the only books that Jonas had ever seen he had never known that other books existed but this room's walls were completely covered by bookcases filled which reached to the ceiling there must have been hundreds perhaps thousands of books their titles embossed in shiny letters Jonas stared at them he couldn't imagine with the thousands of pages contained could there be rules beyond the rules that governed the community could there be more descriptions of offices and factories and committees he had only a second to look around because he was aware that the man sitting in a chair beside the table was watching him hastily he moved forward stood before the man bowed slightly and said I'm Jonas I know welcome receiver of memory Jonas recognized the man he was the Elder who had seemed separate from the others at the ceremony though he was dressed in the same special clothing that only Elders wore Jonas looked self-consciously into the pale eyes that Merit his own sir I apologize for my lack of understanding he waited but the man did not give the standard accepting of apology response after a moment Jonas went on but I thought I mean I think he corrected reminding himself that if Precision of language were ever to be important it was certainly important now in the presence of this man that you are the receiver of memory I'm only well I was only assigned I me selected yesterday I'm not anything at all not yet the man looked at him thoughtfully silently it was a look that combined interest curiosity concern and perhaps little sympathy as well finally he spoke beginning today this moment at least to me you are the receiver I have been the receiver for a long time a very very long time time you can see that can't you Jonas nodded the man was wrinkled and his eyes though piercing in their unusual lightness seemed tired the flesh around them was darkened into shadowed circles I can see that you are very old Jonas responded with respect the old were always given the highest respect the man smiled he touched the sagging Flesh on his own face with amusement I am not actually as old as I look he told Jonas this job has aged me I know I look as if I should be scheduled for release very soon but actually I have a good deal of time left I was pleased though when you were selected it took them a long time the failure of the previous selection was 10 years ago and my energy is starting to diminish I need what strength I have remaining for your training we have hard and painful work to do you and I please sit down he said and gestured toward the nearby chair Jonas lowered himself onto the soft cushioned seat the man closed his eyes and continued speaking when I became a 12 I was selected as you were I was frightened as I'm sure you are he opened his eyes for a moment and peered at Jonas who nodded the eyes closed again I came to this very room to begin my training it was such a long time ago the previous receiver seemed just as old to me as I do to you he was just as tired as I am today he sat forward suddenly opening his eyes and said you may ask questions I have have so little experience in describing this process it is forbidden to talk of it I know sir I have read the instructions Jonas said so I may neglect to make things as clear as I should the man chuckled my job is important and has enormous honor but that does not mean I am perfect and when I tried before to train a successor I fa failed please ask any questions that will help you in his mind Jonas had questions a thousand a million questions as many questions as there were books lining the walls but he did not ask one not yet the man side seeming to put his thoughts in order then he spoke again simply stated he said although it's not really simple at all my job is to transmit to you all the memories I have Within Me memories of the past sir Jonah said tentatively I would be very interested to hear the story of your life and to listen to your memories I I apologize for interrupting he added quickly the man waved his hand impatiently no apologies in this room we haven't time well Jonas went on uncomfortably aware that he might might be interrupting again I I am really interested I don't mean that I'm not but I don't exactly understand why it's so important I could do some adult job in the community and in my Recreation time I could come and listen to the stories from your childhood I'd like that actually he added I've done that already in the house of the old the old like to tell about their childhoods and it's always fun to listen the man shook his head no no he said I'm not being clear it's not my past not my my childhood that I must transmit to you he leaned back resting his head against the back of the apola chair it's the memories of the whole world he said with a sigh before you before me before the previous receiver and generations before him Jonas frowned the whole world he asked I don't understand do you mean not just us not just the community do you mean elsewhere too he tried in his mind to grasp the concept I'm sorry sir I don't understand exactly maybe I'm not smart enough I don't know what you mean when you say the whole world or Generations before him I thought there was only us I thought there was only now there's much more there's all that goes beyond all that is elsewhere and all that goes back and back and back I received all all of those when I was selected and here in this room all alone I re-experienced them again and again it is how wisdom comes and how we shape our future he rested for a moment breathing deeply I am so weighted with them he said Jonas felt a terrible concern for the man suddenly it's as if the man paused seeming to search his mind for the right words of description it's like going downhill through deep snow on a sled he said finally at first it's exhilarating the speed the sharp clear air but then the snow accumulates builds up on the runners and you slow you have to push hard to keep going and he shook his head suddenly and peered at Jonas that meant nothing to to you did it he asked Jonas was confused I didn't understand it sir of course you didn't you don't know what snow is do you Jonah shook his head or a sled Runners no sir Jonah said downhill that term means nothing to you nothing sir well it's a place to start I've been wondering how to begin move to the bed and lie face down remove your tunic first Jonas did so a little apprehensively beneath his bare chest he felt the soft folds of The Magnificent cloth that covered the bed he watched as the man Rose and moved first to the wall where the speaker was it was the same sort of speaker that occupied a place in every dwelling but one thing about it was different this one had a switch which the man deafly snapped to the end that said off Jonas almost gasped aloud to have the power to turn the speaker off it was an astonishing thing then the man moved with surprising quickness to the corner where the bed was he sat on a chair beside Jonas who was motionless waiting for what would happen next close your eyes relax this will not be painful jonus remembered that he was allowed that he had even been encouraged to ask questions what are you going to do sir he asked hoping that his voice didn't betray his nervousness I am going to transmit the memory of snow the old man said and placed his hands on Jonas's bear back Jonas felt nothing unusual at first he felt only the light touch of the old man's hands on his back he tried to relax to breathe evenly the room was absolutely silent and for a moment Jonas feared that he might disgrace himself now on the first day of his training by falling asleep then he sh IED he realized that the touch of the hands felt suddenly cold at the same instant breathing in he felt the air change and his very breath was cold he licked his lips and in doing so his tongue touched the suddenly chilled air it was very startling but he was not at all frightened now he was filled with energy and he breathed again feeling the sharp intake of frigid air now too he could feel cold air swirling around his entire body he felt it Blow against his hands where they lay at his sides and over his back the touch of the man's hands seemed to have disappeared now he became aware of an entirely New Sensation pin Pricks no because they were soft and without pain tiny cold feather-like feelings peppered his body and face he put out his tongue again and caught one of the dots of a cold upon it it disappeared from his awareness instantly but he caught another and another the sensation made him smile one part of his Consciousness knew that he was still lying there on the bed in the annex room yet another separate part of his being was upright now in a sitting position and beneath him he could feel that he was not on the soft decorated bed covering at all but rather Seated on a flat hard surface his hands now held though at the same time they were still motionless at his Sid a rough damp rope and he could see though his eyes were closed he could see a bright whing torrent of crystals in the air around him and he could see them gather on the backs of his hands like cold fur his breath was visible Beyond through the swirl of what he now somehow perceived was the thing the old man had spoken of snow he could look out and down a great distance he was up high someplace the ground was thick with the furry snow but he sat slightly above it on a hard flat object sled he knew abruptly he was sitting on a thing called sled and theed Leed itself seemed to be poised at the top of a long extended Mound that Rose from the very land where he was even as he thought the word Mound his new Consciousness told him hill then the sled with Jonas himself upon it began to move through the snowfall and he understood instantly that now he was going downhill no voice made an explanation The Experience explained itself to him his face cut through the frigid air as he began The Descent moving through the substance called snow on the vehicle called sled which propelled itself on what he now knew without doubt to be Runners comprehending all of those things as he sped downward he was free to enjoy the breathless Glee that overwhelmed him the speed the clear cold air the total silence the feeling of balance and excitement and peace then as the angle of incline lessened as the mound the hill flattened nearing the bottom the sled's forward motion slowed the snow was piled now around it and he pushed with his body moving it Forward not wanting the exhilarating ride to end finally the obstru of the piled snow was too much for the thin Runners of the sled and he came to a stop he sat there for a moment panting holding the rope in his cold hands tentatively he opened his eyes not his snoow Hill sled eyes for they had been opened throughout the strange ride he opened his ordinary eyes and saw that he was still on the bed that he had not moved at all the old man still beside the bed was watching him how do you feel he asked Jonas sat up and tried to answer honestly surprised he said after a moment the old man wiped his forehead with his sleeve he said it was exhausting but you know even transmitting that tiny memory to you I think it lightened me just a little do you mean you did say I could ask questions the man nodded encouraging his question do you mean that now you don't have the memory of it of that ride on the sled anymore that's right a little weight off this old body but it was such fun and now you don't have it anymore I took it from you but the old man laughed all I gave you was one ride on one sled in one snow on one Hill I have a whole world of them in my memory I could give them to you one by one a thousand times and there would still be more are you saying that I I mean we could do it again Jonas asked I'd really like to I think I could steer by pulling the Rope I didn't try this time because it was so new the old man laughing shook his head maybe another day for a treat but there's no time really just to play I only wanted to begin by showing you how it works now he said turning businesslike lie back down I want to Jonas did he was eager for whatever experience would come next but he had suddenly so many questions why don't we have snow and sleds and Hills he asked and when did we in the past did my parents have sleds when they were young did you the old man Shrugged and gave a short laugh no no he told Jonas it's a very distant memory that's why it was so exhausting I had to tug It Forward from any Generations back it was given to me when I was a new receiver and the previous receiver had to pull it through a long time period too but what happened to those things snow and the rest of it climate control snow made growing food difficult limited the agricultural periods and unpredictable weather made Transportation almost impossible at times it wasn't a practical thing so it became obsolete when we went to sameness and Hills too he added they made conveyance of goods unwieldy trucks buses slowed them down so he waved his hand as if a gesture had caused Hills to disappear sameness he concluded Jonas fr I wish we had those things still just now and then the old man smiled so do I he said but that choice is not ours but sir Jonas suggested since you have so much power the man corrected him honor he said firmly I have great honor so will you but you will find that that is not the same as power lie quietly now since we've entered into the topic of climate let me give you something else and this time I'm not going to tell you the name of it because I want to test the receiving you should be able to perceive the name without being told I gave away snow and sled and downhill and Runners by telling them to you in advance without being instructed Jonas closed his eyes again he felt the hands on his back again he waited now it came more quickly ly the feelings this time the hands didn't become cold but instead began to feel warm on his body they moistened a little the warmth spread extending across his shoulders up his neck onto the side of his face he could feel it through his clothed Parts too a pleasant all over sensation and when he licked his lips this time the air was hot and heavy he didn't move there was no sled his posture didn't change he was simply alone someplace Out of Doors lying down and the warmth came from far above it was not as exciting as the ride through the snowy air but it was pleasurable and comforting suddenly he perceived the word for it sunshine he perceived that it came from the sky then it ended Sunshine he said aloud opening his eyes good you did get the word ah that makes my job easier not so much explaining and it came from the sky that's right the old man said just the way it used to before sameness before climate control Jonas added the man laughed you receive well and learn quickly I'm very pleased with you that's enough for today I think we're off to a good start there was a question bothering Jonas sir he said the Chief Elder told me she told everyone and you told me too that it would be painful so I was a little scared but it didn't hurt at all I really enjoyed it he looked quizzically at the old man the man sighed I started you with memories of pleasure my previous failure gave me the wisdom to do that that he took a few deep breaths Jonas he said it will be painful but it need not be painful yet I'm brave I really am Jonah sat up a little straighter the old man looked at him for a moment he smiled I can see that he said well since you asked the question I think I have enough energy for one more transmission lie down once more this will be the last today Jonas obeyed cheerfully he closed his eyes waiting and felt the hands again then he felt the warmth again the sunshine again coming from the sky of this other Consciousness that was so new to him this time as he lay basking in the wonderful warmth he felt the passage of time his real self was aware that it was only a minute or two but his other memory deceiving self felt hours pass in the sun his skin began to sting restlessly he moved one arm bending it and felt a sharp pain in the crease of his inner arm at the elbow ouch he said loudly and shifted on the bed ow he said wincing at the shift and even moving his mouth to speak made his face hurt he knew it was a word but the pain kept him from grasping it then it ended he opened his eyes wincing with discomfort it hurt he told the man and I couldn't get the word for it it was sunburn the old man told him it hurt a lot Jonas said but I'm glad you gave it to me it was interesting and now I understand better what it meant that there would be pain the man didn't respond he sat silently for a second finally he said get up now it's time for you to go home they both walked to the center of the room just Jonas put his tunic back on goodbye sir he said thank you for my first day the old man nodded to him he looked drained and a little sad sir Jonas said shilly yes do you have a question it's just that I don't know your name I thought you were the receiver but you say that now I'm the receiver so I don't know what to call you the man had sat back down in a comfortable upholstered chair he moved his shoulders around as if to ease away an aching sensation he seemed terribly weary call me The Giver he told Jonas you slept soundly Jonas his mother asked at the morning meal no dreams Jonah simply smiled and nodded not ready to lie not willing to tell the truth I slept very soundly he said I wish this one would his father said leaning down from his chair to touch Gabriel's waving fist the basket was on the floor beside him in its Corner beside Gabriel's head the stuffed hippo sat staring with its blank eyes so do I mother said rolling her eyes he's so fretful at night Jonas had not heard the new child during the night because as always he had slept soundly but it was not true that he had no dreams again and again as he slept he had slid down that snow covered Hill always in the dream it seemed as if there were a destination a something he could not grasp what that lay beyond the place where the thickness of snow brought the sled to a stop he was left upon Awakening with the feeling that he wanted even somehow needed to reach the something that waited in the distance the feeling that it was good that it was welcoming that it was significant but he did not know how to get there he tried to shared the leftover dream Gathering his schoolwork and preparing for the day school seemed a little different today the classes were the same language and Communications Commerce and Industry Science and Technology civil procedures in government but during the breaks for recreation periods in the midday meal the other new tws were a buzz with descriptions of their first day of training all of them talked at once interrupting each other hastily making the required apology for interrupting then forgetting again in the excitement of describing the new experiences Jonas listened he was very aware of his own admonition not to discuss his training but it would have been impossible anyway there was no way to describe to his friends what he had experienced there in the annex room how could you describe a sled without describing a hill and snow and how could you describe a hill and snow to someone who had never felt height or wind or that feathery magical cold even trained for years as they all had been in Precision of language what words could you you 's which would give another the experience of sunshine so it was easy for Jonas to be still and to listen after school hours he rode again beside Fiona to the house of the old I looked for you yesterday she told him so we could ride home together your bike was still there and I waited for a little while but it was getting late so I went on home I apologize for making you wait Jonas said I accept your apology she replied automatically I stayed a little longer than I expected Jonas explained she pedal forward silently and he knew that she expected him to tell her why she expected him to describe his first day of training but to ask would have fallen into the category of rudeness you've been doing so many volunteer hours with the old Jonah said changing the subject there won't be much that you don't already know oh there's lots to learn Fiona replied there's administrative work and the dietary rules and punishment for Disobedience did you you know that they use a disciplin wand on the old the same as for small children and there's occupational therapy and recreational activities and medications and they reached the building and break their bikes I really think I like it better than School Fiona confessed me too Jonas agreed Wheeling his bike into its place she waited for a second as if again she expected him to go on then she looked at her watch waved and hurried toward the entrance Jonas stood for a moment beside his bike startled it had happened again the thing that he thought of now is seeing Beyond this time it had been Fiona who had undergone that fleeting Indescribable change as he looked up and toward her going through the door it happened she changed actually Jonas thought trying to recreate it in his mind it wasn't Fiona in her entirety it seemed to be just her hair and just for that flickering instant he ran through it in his mind it was clearly beginning to happen more often first the Apple a few weeks before the next time had been the faces in the audience at the auditorium just 2 days ago now today Fiona's hair frowning Jonas walked toward the annex I will ask the giver he decided the old man looked up smiling when Jonas entered the room he was already seated beside the bed and he seemed more energetic to slightly renewed and glad to see Jonas welcome he said we must get started you're 1 minute late I apologize Jonas began and then stopped flustered remembering there were to be no apologies he removed his tunic and went to the bed I'm 1 minute late because something happened he explained and I'd like to ask you about it if you don't mind you may ask me anything Jonas tried to sort it out in his mind so that he could explain it clearly I think it's what you call seeing Beyond he said The Giver nodded describe it he said Jonas told him about the experience with the apple and then a moment on the stage when he had looked out and seen the same phenomenon in the faces of the crowd then today just now outside it happened with my friend Fiona she herself didn't change exactly but something about her changed for a second her hair looked different but not in its shape not in its length I can't quite Jonas paused frustrated by his inability to grasp and describe exactly what had occurred finally he simply said it changed I don't know how or why that's why I was one minute late he concluded and looked questioningly at the giver to his surprise the old man asked him a question which seemed unrelated to the seeing Beyond when I gave you the memory yesterday the first one the ride on the sled did you look around Jonas nodded yes he said but the stuff I mean the snow in the air made it hard to see anything did you look at the sled Jonas thought back no I only felt it under me I dreamed of it last night too but I don't remember seeing the sled in my dream either just feeling it The Giver seemed to be thinking when I was observing you before the selection I perceived that you probably had the capacity and what you describe confirms that it happened somewhat differently to me The Giver told him when I was just your age about to become the new receiver I began to experience it though it took a different form with me it was well I won't describe that now you wouldn't understand it yet but I think I can guess how it's happening with you let me just make a little test to confirm my guess lie down Jonas lay on the bed again with his hands at his sides he felt comfortable here now he closed his eyes and waited for the familiar feel of the giver's hands on his back but it didn't come Instead The Giver instructed him call back the memory of the ride on the sled just the beginning of it where you're at the top of theill hill before the slide starts and this time look down at the sled Jonas was puzzled he opened his eyes excuse me he asked politely but don't you have to give me the memory it's your memory now it's not mine to experience any longer I gave it away but how can I call it back you can remember last year or the year that you were a seven or a five can't you of course course it's much the same everyone in the community has one generation memories like those but now you will be able to go back father try just concentrate Jonas closed his eyes again he took a deep breath and sought the sled and the hill and the snow in his Consciousness there they were with no effort he was again sitting in that whirling world of snowflakes at top of the hill Jonas grinned with delight and blew his own steamy breath into view then as he had been instructed he looked down he saw his own hands furred again with snow holding the Rope he saw his legs and moveed them aside for a glimpse of the sled beneath dumbfounded he stared at it this time it was not a fleeing impression this time the sled had and continued to have as he blinked and stared at it again that same mysterious quality that the Apple had had so briefly and Fiona's hair the sled did not change it simply was whatever the thing was Jonas opened his eyes and was still on the bed The Giver was watching him curiously yes Jonah said slowly I saw it in the sled let me try one more thing look over there to the bookcase do you see the very top row of books the ones behind the table on the top shelf Jonas sought them with his eyes he stared at them and they changed but the change was fleeting it slipped away the next instant it happened Jonah said it happened to the books but it went away again I'm right then the giver said you're beginning to see the color red the what the giver sighed how to explain this once back in the time of the memories everything had a shape and size the way things still do but they also had a quality called color there were a lot of colors and one of them was called red that's the one you are starting to see your friend Fiona has red hair quite distinct actually I've noticed it before when you mentioned Fiona's hair it was the clue that told me you were probably beginning to see the color red and the faces of people the ones I saw at the ceremony The Giver shook his head no flesh isn't red but it has red tones in it there was a time actually you'll see this in the memories later when flesh was many different colors that was before we went to sameness today flesh is all the same and what what you saw was the red tones probably when you saw the faces take on color it wasn't as deep or vibrant as the apple or your friend's hair The Giver chuckled suddenly we've never completely mastered sameness I suppose the genetic scientists are still hard at work trying to work The Kinks out hair like Fiona must drive them crazy Jonas listened trying hard to comprehend and the sled he said it had that same thing the color red but it didn't change Giver it just was because it's a memory from the time when color was it was so oh I wish language were more precise the red was so beautiful The Giver nodded it is do you see it all the time I see all of them all the colors will I of course when you receive the memories you have the capacity to see beyond you'll gain wisdom then along with colors and lots more Jonas wasn't interested just then in wisdom it was the colors that fascinated him why can't everyone see them why did colors disappear The Giver Shrugged our people made that choice the choice to go to sameness before my time before the previous time back and back and back we relinquished color when we relinquished sunshine and did away with differences he thought for a moment we gained control of many things but we had to let go of others we shouldn't have Jonas said fiercely The Giver looked startled at the certainty of Jonas's reaction then he smiled Riley you've come very quickly to that conclusion he said it took me many years maybe your wisdom will come much more quickly than mine he glanced at the wall clock lie back down now we have so much to do Giver Jonas asked as he arranged himself again on the bed how did it happen to you when you were becoming the receiver you said that the seeing Beyond happened to you but not the same way the hands came to his back another day The Giver said gently I'll tell you another day now we must work and I've thought of a way to help you with the concept of color close your eyes and be still now I'm going to give you a memory of a rainbow days went by and weeks Jonas learned through the memories the names of colors and now he began to see them all in his ordinary life though he knew it was ordinary no longer and would never be again but they didn't last there would be a glimpse of green the landscaped lawn around the Central Plaza a bush on the riverbank the bright orange of pumpkins being trucked in from the agricultural Fields beyond the community boundry seen in an instant the flash of brilliant color but gone again returning to their flat and hueless shade The Giver told him that it would be a very long time before he had the colors to keep but but I want them Jonah said angrily it isn't fair that nothing has color not fair The Giver looked at Jonas curiously explain what you mean well Jonas had to stop and think it through if everything's the same then there aren't any choices I want to wake up in the morning and decide things a blue tunic or a red one he looked down at himself at the colorless fabric of his clothing but it's all the same always then he laughed a little I know it's not important what you wear it doesn't matter but it's the choosing that's important isn't it the giver asked him Jonas nodded my little brother he began and then corrected himself no that's inaccurate he's not my brother not really but this new child that my family takes care of his name's Gabriel yes I know about Gabriel well he's at the age where he's learning so much he grabs toys when we hold them in front of him my father says he's learning small muscle control and he's really cute The Giver nodded but now that I can see colors at least sometimes I was just thinking what if we could hold up things that were bright red or bright yellow and he could choose instead of the sameness he might make wrong choices oh Jonas was silent for a minute oh I see what you mean it wouldn't matter for a new child's toy but later it does matter doesn't it we don't dare to let people make choices of their own not safe The Giver suggested definitely not safe Jonah said with certainty what if they were allowed to choose their own mate and chose wrong or what if he went on almost laughing at the absurdity they chose their own jobs frightening isn't it the giver said Jonas chuckled very frightening I can't even imagine it we really have to protect people from wrong choices it's safer yes Jonas agreed much safer but when the conversation turned to other things Jonas was left still with a feeling of frustration that he didn't understand he found that he was often angry now irrationally Angry angry at his group mates that they were satisfied with their lives which had none of the Vibrance his own was taking on and he was angry at himself that he could not change that for them he tried without asking permission from The Giver because he feared or knew that it would be denied he tried to give his new awareness to his friends Asher Jonah said one morning look at those flowers very carefully they were standing beside a bed of geraniums planted near the Hall of open records he put his hands on Asher's shoulders and concentrated on the red of the petals trying to hold it as long as he could and trying at the same time to transmit the awareness of red to his friend what's the matter Asher asked uneasily is something wrong he moved away from Jonas's hands it was extremely rude for one citizen to touch another outside of family units no nothing I thought for a minute that they were wilting and we should let the gardening crew know they needed more watering Jonah sighed and turned away one evening he came home from his training waited with new knowledge The Giver had chosen a startling and disturbing memory that day under the touch of his hands Jonas had found himself suddenly in a place that was completely alien hot and wind swept under a vast Blue Sky there were tough of sparse grass a few bushes and rocks and nearby he could see an area of thicker vegetation broad low trees outlined against the sky he could hear noises the sharp crack of weapons he perceived the word guns and then shouts and an immense crashing thud as something fell tearing branches from the trees he heard voices calling to one another peering from the place where he stood hidden behind some Shrubbery he was reminded of what the giver had told him that there had been a time when flesh had different colors two of these men had dark brown skin the others were light going closer he watched them hack the tusks from a motionless elephant on the ground and haul them away spattered with blood he felt himself overwhelmed with a new perception of the color he knew as red then the men were gone speeding toward the Horizon in a vehicle that spit Pebbles from its whirling tires one hit his forehead and stung him there but the memory continued though Jonas achd now for it to end now he saw another elephant emerge from the place where it had stood hidden in the trees very slowly it walked to the mutilated body and looked down with its sinuous trunk it stroked the huge corpse then it reached up broke some leafy branches with a snap and draped them over the mass of torn thick flesh found finally it tilted its massive head raised its trunk and roared into the empty landscape Jonas had never heard such a sound it was a sound of rage and grief and it seemed never to end he could still hear it when he opened his eyes and lay anguished on the bed where he received the memories it continued to Roar into his Consciousness as he peddled slowly home Lily he asked that evening when his sister took her Comfort object the stuffed elephant from the Shelf did you know that once there really were elephants live ones she glanced down at the Ragged Comfort object and grinned right she said skeptically sure Jonas Jonas went and sat beside them while his father untied Lily's hair ribbons and combed her hair he placed one hand on each of their shoulders with all of his being he tried to give each of them a piece of the memory not of the tortured Cry of the elephant but of the being of the elephant of the Towering immense creature and the meticulous touch with which it attended its friend at the end but his father had continued to comb Lily's long hair and Lily impatient had finally wiggled under her brother's touch Jonas she said you're hurting me with your hand I apologize for hurting you Lily Jonas mumbled and took his hand away SE apology Lily responded indifferently stroking the lifeless elephant Giver Jonas asked once as they prepared for the day's work don't you have a spouse aren't you allowed to apply for one although he was Exempted from the rules against rudess he was aware that this was a rude question but the giver had encouraged all of his questions not seeming to be embarrassed or offended by even the most personal The Giver chuckled no there's no no rule against it and I did have a spouse you're forgetting how old I am Jonas my former spouse now lives with the childless adults oh of course Jonas had forgotten the giver's obvious age when adults of the community became older their lives became different they were no longer needed to create family units Jonas's own parents when he and Lily were grown would go to live with the childless adults you'll be able to apply for a spouse Jonas if you want to I'll warn you though that it will be difficult your living arrangements will have to be different from those of most family units because the books are forbidden to Citizens you and I are the only ones with access to the books Jonas glanced around at the astonishing array of volumes from time to time now he could see their colors with their hours together his and the givers consumed by conversation and by the transmission of memories Jonas had not yet opened any of the books but he read the ti here and there and knew that they contained all of the knowledge of centuries and that one day they would belong to him so if I have a spouse and maybe children I will have to hide the books from them The Giver nodded I wasn't permitted to share the books with my spouse that's correct and there are other difficulties too you remember the rule that says the new receiver can't talk about his training Jonas nodded of course he remembered it had turned out by far to the most frustrating of the rules he was required to obey when you become the official receiver when we're finished here you'll be given a whole new set of rules those are the rules that I obey and it won't surprise you that I am forbidden to talk about my work to anyone except the new receiver that's you of course so there will be a whole part of your life which you won't be able to share with a family it's hard Jonas it was hard for me you do understand don't you that this is my life the memories Jonas nodded again but he was puzzled didn't life consist of the things you did each day there wasn't anything else really I've seen you taking walks he said The Giver side I walk I eat at meal time and when I am called by the committee of Elders I appear before them to give them counsel and advice do you advise them often Jonas was a little frightened at the thought that one day he would be the one to advise the ruling body but the giver said no rarely only when they are faced with something that they have not experienced before then they call upon me to use the memories and advise them but it very seldom happens sometimes I wish they'd ask for my wisdom more often there are so many things I could tell them things I wish they would change but they don't want change life here is so orderly so predictable so painless it's what they've chosen I don't know why they even need a receiver then if they never call upon Him Jonas commented they need me and you The Giver said but didn't explain they were reminded of that 10 years ago what happened 10 years ago Jonas asked oh I know you tried to train a successor and it failed why why did that remind them The Giver smiled grimly when the new receiver failed the memories that she had received were released they didn't come back to me they went he paused and seemed to be struggling with the concept I don't know exactly they went to the place where memories once existed before receivers were created someplace out there he gestured vaguely with his arm and then the people had access to them apparently that's the way it was once everyone had access to Memories it was chaos he said they really suffered for a while finally it subsided as the memories were assimilated but it certainly made them aware of how they need a receiver to contain all that pain and knowledge but you have to suffer like that all the time Jonas pointed out the giver nodded and you will it's my life it will be yours Jonas thought about it about what it would be like for him along with walking and eating and he looked around the walls of books reading that's it The Giver shook his head those are simply the things that I do my life is here in this room The Giver shook his head he put his hands to his own face to his chest no here in my being where the memories are my instructors in science and technology have taught us about how the brain works Jonas told him eagerly it's full of electrical impulses it's like a computer if you stimulate one part of the brain with an electrode it he stopped talking he could see an odd look on the giver's face they know nothing The Giver said bitterly Jonas was shocked since the first day in the annex room they had together disregarded the rules about rudeness and Jonas felt comfortable with that now but this was different and far beyond rude this was a terrible accusation what if someone had heard he glanced quickly at the wall speaker terrified that the committee might be listening as they could at any time but as always during their sessions together the switch had been turned to off nothing Jonas whispered nervously but my instructors The Giver flipped his hand as if brushing something aside oh your instructors are well trained they know their scientific facts everyone is well trained for his job it's just that without the memories it's all meaningless they gave that burden to me and to the previous receiver and the one before him and back and back and back Jonah said knowing the phrase that always came The Giver smiled though his smile was oddly harsh that's right and next it will be you a great honor yes sir they told me that at the ceremony the very highest honor some afternoons The Giver sent him away without training Jonas knew on days when he arrived to find the giver hunched over rocking his body slightly back and forth his face pale that he would be sent away go The Giver would tell him tensely I'm in pain today come back tomorrow on those days worried and disappointed Jonas would walk alone beside the river the paths were empty of people except for the few delivery Crews and Landscape workers here and there small children were all at the child care center after school and the older ones busy with volunteer hours or training by himself he tested his own developing memory he watched the landscape for glimpses of the green that he knew was embedded in the Shrubbery when it came flickering into his Consciousness he focused upon it keeping it there darkening it holding it in its Vision as long as possible until his head hurt and he Let It Fade Away he stared at the flat colorless Sky bringing Blue from it and remembered sunshine until finally for an instant he could feel warmth he stood at the foot of the bridge that spanned the river the bridge that citizens were allowed to cross only on official business Jonas had crossed it on school trips visiting the outlying communities and he knew that the land beyond the bridge was much the same flat and well ordered with fields for agriculture the other communities he had seen on visits were essentially the same as his own the only differences were slightly altered styles of dwelling slightly different schedules in the schools he wondered what lay in the far distance where he had never gone the land didn't end Beyond those nearby communities were there hills elsewhere were there vast wind torn areas like the place he had seen in memory the place where the elephant died ker he asked one afternoon following a day when he had been sent away what causes you pain when The Giver was silent Jonas continued the Chief Elder told me at the beginning that the receiving of memory causes terrible pain and you describe for me that the failure of the last new receiver released painful memories to the community but I haven't suffered Giver not really Jonas smiled oh I remember the sunburn you gave me on the very first day but that wasn't so terrible what is it that makes you suffer so much if you gave some of it to me maybe your pain would be less The Giver nodded lie down he said it's time I suppose I can't Shield you forever you'll have to take it all on eventually let me think he went on when Jonas was on the bed waiting a little fearful all right The Giver said after a moment I've decided we'll start with something familiar let's go once again to a hill and a sled he placed his hands on Jonas's back it was much the same this memory though the hill seemed to be a different one steeper and the snow was not falling as thickly as it had before it was colder also Jonas perceived he could see as he sat waiting at the top of the hill that the snow beneath the sled was not thick and soft as it had been before but hard and coated with bluish ice the sled moved forward and Jonas grinned with delight looking forward to the breathtaking slide down through the invigorating air but the runners this time couldn't slice through the Frozen expanse as they had on the the other snow cushioned Hill they skittered sideways and the sled gathered speed Jonas pulled at the Rope trying to steer but the steepness and speed took control from his hands and he was no longer enjoying the feeling of freedom but instead terrified was at the mercy of the wild acceleration downward over the ice sideways spinning the sled hit a bump in the hill and Jonas was Jarred loose and thrown violently into the air he fell with his leg Twisted under him and could hear the crack of bone his face scraped along Jagged edges of ice and when he came at last to a stop he lay shocked and still feeling nothing at first but fear then the first wave of pain he gasped it was as if a hatchet lay lodged in his leg slicing through each nerve with a hot blade in his Agony he perceived the word fire and felt Flames licking at the torn bone and flesh he tried to move and could not the pain grew he screamed there was no answer sobbing he turned his head and vomited onto the frozen snow blood dripped from his face into the vomit no he cried and the sound disappeared into the empty landscape into the wind then suddenly he was in the annex room again writhing on the bed his face was wet with tears able to move now he rocked his own body back and forth breathing deeply to release the remembered pain he sat and looked at his own leg where it lay straight on the bed unbroken the brutal slice of pain was gone but the leg achd horribly still and his face felt Raw May I have relief of pain please he begged it was always provided in his everyday life for the bruises and wounds for a mashed finger a stomach ache a skinned knee from a fall from a bike there was always a do of anesthetic ointment or a pill or in severe instances an injection that brought complete and instantaneous Deliverance but the giver said no and looked away limping Jonas walked home pushing his bicycle that evening the sunburn pain had been so small in comparison and had not stayed with him but this ache lingered it was not unendurable as the pain on the hill had been Jonas tried to be brave he remembered that the Chief Elder had said he was Brave is something wrong Jonas his father asked at the evening meal you're so quiet tonight aren't you feeling well would you like some medication but Jonas remembered the rules no medication for anything related to his training and no discussion of his training at the time for shearing of feelings he simply said that he felt tired that his school lessons had been unusually demanding that day he went to his sleeping room early and from behind the closed door he could hear his parents and sister laughing as they gave Gabriel his evening bath they have never known pain he thought the realization made him feel desperately lonely and he rubbed his throbbing leg he eventually slept again and again he dreamed of the anguish and the isolation on The Forsaken Hill the daily training continued and now it always included pain the agony of the fractured leg began to seem no more than a mild discomfort as The Giver LED Jonas firmly little by little into the deep and terrible suffering of the past each time in his kindness The Giver ended the afternoon with a color-filled memory of pleasure a Brisk Sail on a blue green Lake a meadow dotted with yellow wild flowers an orange Sunset behind mountains it was not enough to assuage the pain that Jonas was beginning now to know why Jonas asked him after he had received a torturous memory in which he had been neglected and unfed the hunger had caused excruciating spasms in his empty distended stomach he lay on the bed aching why do you and I have to hold these memories it gives us wisdom The Giver replied without wisdom I could not fulfill my function of advising the committee of Elders when they call upon me but what wisdom do you get from Hunger Jonas groaned his stomach still hurt though the memory had ended some years ago The Giver told him before your birth a lot of citizens petitioned the committee of Elders they wanted to increase the rate of births they wanted each birth mother to be assigned four births instead of three so that the population would increase and there would be more laborers available Jonas nodded listening that makes sense the idea was that certain family units could accommodate an additional child Jonas nodded again mine could he pointed out we have Gabriel this year and it's fun having a third child the committee of Elders sought my advice The Giver said it made sense to them too but it was a new idea and they came to me for wisdom and you use your memories The Giver said yes and the strongest memory that came was Hunger it came from many generations back centuries back the population had gotten so big that hunger was everywhere excruciating hunger and starvation it was followed by Warfare Warfare it was a concept Jonas did not know but hunger was familiar to him now unconsciously he rubbed his own abdomen recalling the pain of its unfulfilled needs so you describe that to them they don't want to hear about pain they just seek the advice I simply advise them against increasing the population but you said that that was before my birth they hardly ever come to you for advice only when they what was it you said when they have a problem they've never faced before when did it happen last do you remember the day when the plane flew over the community yes I was scared so were they they prepared to shoot it down but they sought my advice I told them to wait but how did you know how did you know the pilot was lost I didn't I used my wisdom from the memories I knew that there had been times in the past terrible times when people had destroyed others in haste in fear and had brought about their own destruction Jonas realized something that means he said slowly the Jew you have memories of Destruction and you have to give them to me too because I have to get the wisdom The Giver nodded but it will hurt Jonas said it wasn't a question it will hurt terribly The Giver agreed but why can't everyone have the memories I think it would seem a little easier if the memories were shared you and I wouldn't have to bear so much by ourselves if everybody took a part The Giver side you're right he said but then everyone would be burdened and pained they don't want that and that's the real reason the receiver is so vital to them and so honored they selected me and you to lift that burden from themselves when did they decide that Jonas asked angrily it wasn't fair let's change it how do you suggest we do that I've never been able to think of a way and I'm supposed to be the the one with all the wisdom but there are two of us now Jonas said eagerly together we can think of something The Giver watched him with a rise smile why can't we just apply for a change of rules Jonas suggested The Giver laughed then Jonas too chuckled reluctantly the decision was made long before my time or yours The Giver said and before the previous receiver and he waited back and back and back Jonas repeated The Familiar phrase sometimes it had seemed humorous to him sometimes it had seemed meaningful and important now it was ominous it meant he knew that nothing could be changed the new child Gabriel was growing and successfully passed the test of maturity that the nurturers gave each month he could sit alone now could reach four and grasp small play objects and he had six teeth during the daytime hours father reported he was cheerful and seemed of normal intelligence but he remained fretful at night whimpering often needing frequent attention after all this extra time I put in with him father said one evening after Gabriel had been bathed and was lying for the moment hugging his hippo placidly in the small crib that had replaced the basket I hope they're not going to decide to release him maybe it would be for the best mother suggested I know you don't mind getting up with him at night but the lack of sleep is awfully hard for me if they release Gabriel can we get another new child as a visitor asked Lily she was kneeling beside the crib making funny faces at the little one who was smiling back at her Jonas's mother rolled her eyes and dismay no father said smiling he ruffled Lily's hair it's very rare anyway that a new child's status is as uncertain as Gabriel's it probably won't happen again for a long time anyway he sighed they won't make the decision for a while right now we're all preparing for a release we'll probably have to make very soon there's a birth mother who's expecting twin males next month oh dear mother said shaking her head if they're identical I hope you're not the one assigned I am I'm next on the list I'll have to select the one to be nurtured and the one to be released it's usually not hard though usually it's just a matter of birth weight we release the smaller of the two Jonas listening thought suddenly about the bridge and how standing there he had wondered what lay elsewhere was there someone there waiting who would receive the tiny released twin would it grow up elsewhere not knowing ever that in this community lived a being who looked exactly the same for a moment he felt a tiny fluttering hope that he knew was quite foolish he hoped that it would be Lissa waiting Lissa the old woman he had bathed he remembered her sparkling eyes her soft voice her low chuckle Fiona had told him recently that Lissa had been released at a wonderful ceremony but he knew that the old were not given children to raise Lissa's life elsewhere would be quiet and Serene as beit the old she would not welcome the responsibility of nurturing a new child who needed feeding and care and would likely cry at night mother father he said the idea coming to him unexpectedly why don't we put Gabriel's Crib in my room tonight I know how to feed and comfort him and it would let you and father get some sleep father looked doubtful you sleep so soundly Jonas what if his restlessness didn't wake you it was Lily who answered that if no one goes to T Gabriel she pointed out he gets very loud he'd wake all of us if Jonah slept through it father laughed you're right ly Billy all right Jonas let's try it just for tonight I'll take the night off and we'll let mother get some sleep too Gabriel slept soundly for the earliest part of the night Jonas in his bed lay awake for a while from time to time he raised himself on one elbow looking over at the crib the new child was on his stomach his arms relaxed beside his head his eyes closed and his breathing regular and undisturbed finally Jonas too then as the middle hours of the night approached the noise of gab's restlessness woke Jonas the new child was turning under his cover flailing his arms and beginning to whimper Jonas Rose and went to him gently he patted Gabriel's back sometimes that was all it took to lull him back to sleep but the new child still squirmed fretfully under his hand still pading rhythmically Jonas began to remember the wonderful sail that The Giver had given him not long long before a bright breezy day on a clear turquoise Lake and above him the white sail of the boat billowing as he moved along in the brisk wind he was not aware of giving the memory but suddenly he realized that it was becoming dimmer that it was sliding through his hand into the being of the new child Gabriel became quiet startled Jonas pulled back what was left of the memory with a burst of will he removed his hand from the little back and stood quietly beside the crib to himself he called the memory of the sail forward again it was still there but the sky was less blue the gentle motion of the boat slower the water of the lake more murky and clouded he kept it for a while soothing his own nervousness at what had occurred then let it go and returned to his bed once more toward Dawn the new child woke and cried out again Jonas went to him this time he quite deliberately placed his hand firmly on Gabriel's back and released the rest of the calming day on the lake again Gabriel slept but now Jonas lay awake thinking he no longer had any more than a wisp of the memory and he felt a small lack where it had been he could ask the giver for another sail he knew a sail perhaps on Ocean next time for Jonas had a memory of ocean now and knew what it was he knew that there were sailboats there too in memories yet to be acquired he wondered though if he should confess to The Giver that he had given a memory away he was not yet qualified to be a giver himself nor had Gabriel been selected to be a receiver that he had this power frightened him he decided not to tell Jonas entered the annex room and realized immediately that it was a day when he would be sent away The Giver was rigid in his chair his face in his hands I'll come back tomorrow sir he said quickly then he hesitated unless maybe there's something I can do to help the giver looked up at him his face contorted with suffering please he gasped take some of the pain Jonas helped him to his chair at the side of the bed then he quickly removed his tunic and lay face down put your hands on me he directed aware that in such anguish The Giver might need reminding the hands came and the pain came with them and through them Jonas braced himself and entered the memory which was torturing The Giver he was in a confused noisy foul smelling place it was Daylight early morning and the air was thick with smoke that hung yellow and brown above the ground around him everywhere far across the expanse of what seemed to be a field lay groaning men a wild-eyed horse its Bridal torn and dangling trotted frantically through the Mounds of men tossing its head whinnying in panic it stumbled finally then fell and did not rise Jonas Heard a Voice next to him water the voice said in a parched croaking whisper he turned his head toward the voice and looked into the half closed eyes of a boy who seemed not much older than himself dirt stre the boy's face and his madded blonde hair he lay sprawled his gray uniform glistening with wet fresh blood the colors of the Carnage were grotesquely bright the Crimson wetness on the rough and Dusty fabric The Ripped shreds of grass startlingly green in the boy's yellow hair the boy stared at him water he begged again when he spoke a new Spurt of blood drenched the coarse cloth across his chest and sleeve one of Jonas's arms was immobilized with pain and he could see through his own torn sleeve something that looked like ragged flesh and splintery Bone he tried his remaining arm and felt it move slowly he reached to his side felt the metal container there and removed its cap stopping the small motion of his hand now and then to wait for the surging pain to ease finally when the container was open he extended his arm slowly across the blood soaked Earth inch by inch and held it to the lips of the boy water trickled into the imploring mouth and down the grimy chin the boy sighed his head fell back his lower jaw dropping as if he had been surprised by something a dull blankness slid slowly across his eyes he was silent but the noise continued all around the cries of the Wounded men the cries begging for water and for mother and for death horses lying on the ground shrieked raised their heads and stabbed randomly toward the sky with their Hooves from the distance Jonas could hear the thud of cannons overwhelmed by pain he laay there in the Fearsome stench for hours listened to the men and animals die and learned what Warfare meant finally when he knew that he could B it no longer and would welcome death himself he opened his eyes and was once again on the bed The Giver looked away as if he could not bear to see what he had done to Jonas forgive me he [Music] said Jonas did not want to go back he didn't want the memories didn't want the honor didn't want the wisdom didn't want the pain he wanted his childhood again his scraped knees and ball games he sat in his dwelling alone watching through the window seeing children at play citizens bicycling home from uneventful days at work ordinary lives free of Anguish because he had been selected as others before him had to Bear their burden but the choice was not his he returned each day to the anex room The Giver was gentle with him for many days following the terrible shared memory of War there are so many good memories The Giver reminded Jonas and it was true by now Jonas had experienced countless bits of Happiness things he had never known of before he had seen a birthday party with one child singled out and celebrated on his day so that now he understood the joy of being an individual special and unique and proud he had visited museums and seen paintings filled with all the color colors he could now recognize and name in one ecstatic memory he had ridden a gleaming brown horse across a field that smelled of damp grass and had dismounted beside a small stream from which both he and the horse drank cold clear water now he understood about animals and in the moment that the horse turned from the stream and nudged Jonas's shoulder affectionately with its head he perceived the bonds between animal and human he had walked through woods and sat at night beside a campfire although he had through the memories learned about the pain of loss and loneliness now he gained too an understanding of solitude and its Joy what is your favorite Jonas asked The Giver you don't have to give it away yet he added quickly just tell me about it so I can look forward to it because I'll have to receive it when your job is done the giver smiled lie down he said I'm happy to give it to you Jonas felt the joy of it as soon as the memory began sometimes it took a while for him to get his bearings to find his place but this time he fit right in and felt the happiness that pervaded the memory he was in a room filled with people and it was warm with Fire Light glowing on a hearth he could see through a window that outside it was night and snowing there were colored lights red and green and yellow twinkling from a tree which was oddly inside the room on a table lighted candles stood in a polished golden holder and cast a soft flickering blow he could smell things cooking and he heard soft laughter a golden-haired dog lay sleeping on the floor on the floor there were packages wrapped in brightly colored paper and tied with gleaming ribbons as Jonas watched a small child began to pick up the packages and pass them around the room to other children to adults who were obviously parents and to an older quiet couple man and woman who sat smiling together on a couch while Jonas watched the people began one by one to untie the ribbons on the packages to unwrap the bright papers open the boxes and reveal toys and clothing and books there were cries of delight they hugged one another the small child went and sat on the lap of the old woman and she rocked him and rubbed her cheek against his Jonas opened his eyes and lay contentedly on the bed still luxuriating in the warm and comforting memory it had all been there all the things he had learned to treasure what did you perceive The Giver asked warmth Jonas replied and happiness and let me think family that it was a celebration of some sort a holiday and and something else I can't quite get the word for it it will come to you who were the old people why were they there it had puzzled Jonas seeing them in the room the old of the community did not ever leave their special place the house of the old where they were so well cared for and respected they were called grandparents grandparents grandparents it meant parents of the parents long ago back and back and back Jonas began to laugh so actually there could be parents of the parents of the parents of the parents The Giver laughed too that's right it's a little like looking at yourself in a mirror looking at yourself looking in a mirror Jonas frowned but my parents must have had Parents I never thought about it before who are my parents of the parents where are they you could go look in the Hall of open records you'd find the names but think son if you apply for children then who will be their parents of the parents who will be their grandparents my mother and father of course and where will they be Jonas thought oh he said slowly when I finish my training and become a full adult I'll be given my own dwelling and then when Lily does a few years later she'll get her own dwelling and maybe a spouse and children if she applies for them and then mother and father that's right as long as they're still working and contributing to the community they'll go and live with the other childless adults and they won't be part of my life anymore and after that when the time comes they'll go to the house of the old Jonas went on he was thinking aloud and they'll be well cared for and respected and when they're released there will be a celebration which you won't attend the giver pointed out no of course not because I won't even know about it by then I'll be so busy with my own life and Lily will too so our children if we have them won't know who their parents of parents are either it seems to work pretty well that way doesn't it the way we do it in our community Jonas asked I just didn't realize there was any other way until I received that memory it works The Giver agreed Jonas hesitated I certainly like the memory though I can see why it's your favorite I couldn't quite get the word for the whole feeling of it the feeling that was so strong in the room Love The Giver told him Jonas repeated it love it was a word and concept new to him they were both silent for a minute then Jonah said giv her yes I feel very foolish saying this very very foolish no need nothing is foolish here trust the memories and how they make you feel well Jonah said looking at the floor I know you don't have the memory anymore because you gave it to me so maybe you won't understand this I will I am left with a vague wisp of that one and I have many other memories of families and holidays and happiness of Love Jonas blurted out what he was feeling I was thinking that well I can see that it wasn't a very practical way to live with the old right there in the same place where maybe they wouldn't be well taken care of the way they are now and that we have a better arranged way of doing things but anyway I was thinking I mean feeling actually that it was kind of nice then and that I wish we could be that way and that you could be my grandparent the family and the memory seemed a little more he faltered not able to find the word he wanted little more complete The Giver suggested Jonas nodded I like the feeling of love he confessed he glanced nervously at the speaker on the wall reassuring himself that no one was listening I wish we still had that he whispered of course he added quickly I do understand that it wouldn't work very well and that it's much better to be organized the way we are now I can see that it was a dangerous way to live what do you mean Jonas hesitated he wasn't certain really what he had meant he could feel that there was risk involved though he wasn't sure how how well he said finally grasping for an explanation they had fire right there in that room there was a fire burning in the fireplace and there were candles on the table I can certainly see why those things were outlawed still he said slowly almost to himself I did like the light they made and the warm father mother Jonas asked asked tentatively after the evening meal I have a question I want to ask you what is it Jonas his father asked he made himself say the words though he felt flushed with embarrassment he had rehearsed them in his mind all the way home from the annex do you love me there was an awkward silence for a moment then father gave a little chuckle Jonas you of all people Precision of language please what do you mean Jonas asked Amusement was not at all what he had anticipated your father means that you used a very generalized word so meaningless that it's become almost obsolete his mother explained carefully Jonas stared at them meaningless he had never before felt anything as meaningful is the memory and of course our community can't function smoothly if people don't use precise language you could ask do you enjoy me the answer is yes his mother said or his father suggested do you take pride in my accomplishments and the answer is wholeheartedly yes do you understand why it's inappropriate to use a word like love mother asked Jonas nodded yes thank you I do he replied slowly it was his first lie to his parents Gabriel Jonas whispered that night to the new child the crib was in his room again after Gabe had slept soundly in Jonas's room for four nights his parents had pronounced the experiment of success and Jonas a hero Gabriel was growing rapidly now crawling and giggling across the room and pulling himself up to stand he could be upgraded in the nurturing Center father said happily now that he slept he could be officially named and given to his family in December which was only 2 months away but when he was taken away he stopped sleeping again and cried in the night so he was back in Jonas's sleeping room they would give it a little more time they decided since Gabe seemed to like it in Jonas's room he would sleep there at night a little longer until the habit of sound sleep was fully formed the nurturers were very optimistic about Gabriel's future there was no answer to Jonas's whisper Gabriel was sound asleep things could change Gabe Jonas went on things could be different I don't know how but there must be some way for things to be different there could be colors and Grand parents he added staring through the dimness toward the ceiling of his sleeping room and everybody would have the memories you know about mamories he whispered turning toward the crib Gabriel's breathing was even and deep Jonas liked having him there though he felt guilty about the secret each night he gave memories to Gabriel memories of boat rides and picnics in the sun memories of soft rainfall against window panes memories of dancing Barefoot on a damp lawn Gabe the new child stirred slightly in his sleep Jonas looked over at him there could be love Jonas whispered the next morning for the first time Jonas did not take his pill something within him something that had Gran there through the memories told him to throw the pill away today is declared an unscheduled holiday Jonas his parents and Lily all turned in Surprise and looked at the wall speaker from which the announcement had come it happened so rarely and was such a treat for the entire Community when it did adults were Exempted from the day's work children from school and training and volunteer hours The Substitute laborers who would be given a different holiday took over all the necessary tasks nurturing food delivery and care of the old and the community was free Jonas cheered and put his homework forward hold her down he had been about to leave for school school was less important to him now and before much more time passed his formal schooling would end but still for twelves though they had begun their adult training there were the endless lists of rules to be memorized and the newest technology to be mastered he wished his parents sister and Gabe a happy day and rode down the bicycle path looking for Asher he had not taken the pills now for four weeks the stirrings had returned and he felt a little guilty and embarrassed about the pleasurable dreams that came to him as he slept but he knew he couldn't go back to the world of no feelings that he had lived in so long and his new heightened feelings permeated a greater realm than simply his sleep though he knew that his failure to take the pills accounted for some of it he thought that the feelings came also from the memories now he could see all of the colors and he could keep them too so that the trees and grass and bushes stayed Green in his vision Gabriel's Rosy Cheeks stayed pink even when he slept and apples were always always red now through the memories he had seen oceans and Mountain Lakes and streams that gurgled through woods and now he saw the familiar wide river beside the path differently he saw all of the light and color and history it contained and carried in its slow moving water and he knew that there was an elsewhere from which it came and in elsewhere to which it was going on this unexpected casual holiday he felt happy as he always had on holidays but with a deeper happiness than ever before thinking as he always did about Precision of language Jonas realized that it was a new depth of feelings that he was experiencing somehow they were not at all the same as the feelings that every evening and every dwelling every citizen analyzed with endless talk I felt angry because someone broke the play area rules Lily had said once making a fist with her small hand to indicate her Fury her family Jonas among them had talked about the possible reasons for rule breaking and the need for understanding and patience until Lily's fist had relaxed and her anger was gone but Lily had not felt anger Jonas realized now shallow impatience and exasperation that was all Lily had felt he knew that with certainty because now he knew what anger was now he had in the memories experienced Injustice and cruelty and he had reacted with rage that welled up so passionately inside him that the thought of discussing it calmly at the evening meal was Unthinkable I felt sad today he had heard his mother say and they had comforted her but now Jonas had experienced real sadness he had felt grief he knew that there was no quick comfort for emotions like those these were deeper and they did not need to be told they were felt today he felt happiness Asher he spied his friend's bicycle leaning against a tree at the edge of the playing field nearby other bikes were strewn about on the ground on a holiday the usual Rules of Order could be disregarded he skidded to a stop and dropped his own bike beside the others hey Ash he Shout Ed looking around there seemed to be no one in the play area where are you a child's voice coming from behind a nearby Bush made the sound pow pow pow a female 11 named Tanya staggered forward from where she had been hiding dramatically she clutched her stomach and stumbled about in a zigzag pattern groaning you got me she called and fell to the ground grinning blam Jonas standing on the side of the playing field recognized Asher's voice he saw saw his friend aiming an imaginary weapon in his hand Dart from behind one tree to another blam you're in my line of Ambush Jonas watch out Jonas stepped back he moved behind Asher's bike and knelt so that he was out of sight it was a game he had often played with the other children a game of good guys and bad guys a harmless Pastime that used up their contained energy and ended only when they all lay posed in freakish postures on the ground he had never recognized it before as a game of war attack the shout came from behind the small Storehouse where play equipment was kept three children dashed forward their imaginary weapons in firing position from the opposite side of the field came an opposing shout Counterattack from their hiding places a horde of children Jonas recognized Fiona in the group emerged running in a crouched position firing across the field several of them stopped grabbed the their own shoulders and chest with exaggerated gestures and pretended to be hit they dropped to the ground and lay suppressing Giggles feelings surged within Jonas he found himself walking forward into the field you're hit Jonas Asher yelled from behind the tree pow you're hit again Jonas stood alone in the center of the field several of the children raised their heads and looked at him uneasily the attacking armies slowed emerged from their crouched positions and watched to see what he was doing in his mind Jonas saw again the face of the boy who had Lin dying on a field and had begged him for water he had a sudden choking feeling as if it were difficult to breathe one of the children raised an imaginary rifle and made an attempt to destroy him with a firing noise then they were all silent standing awkwardly and the only sound was the sound of Jonas's shuddering breaths he was struggling not to cry gradually when nothing happened nothing changed the Children looked at each other nervously and went away he heard the sounds as they rided their bicycles and began to ride down the path that led from the field only Asher and Fiona remained what's wrong Jonas it was only a game Fiona said you ruined it Asher said in an irritated voice don't play it anymore Jonas pleaded I'm the one who's training for assistant Recreation director Asher pointed out angrily games aren't your area of expertness expertise Jonas corrected him automatically whatever you can't say what we play even if you are going to be the new receiver Asher looked wearily at him I apologize for not paying you the respect you deserve he mumbled Asher Jonah said he was trying to speak carefully and with kindness to say exactly what he wanted to say you had no way of knowing this I didn't know it myself until recently but it's a cruel game in the past there have I said I apologize Jonas Jonas SED it was no use of course Asher couldn't understand I accept your apology Asher he said wearily do you want to go for a ride along the river Jonas Fiona asked biting her lip with nervousness Jonas looked at her she was so lovely for a fleeting instant he thought he would like nothing better than to ride peacefully along the river path laughing and talking with his gentle female friend but he knew that such times had been taken away from him now he shook his head after a moment his two friends turned and went to their bikes he watched as they rode away Jonas trudged to the bench beside the storehouse and sat down overwhelmed with feelings of loss his childhood his friendships his Carefree sense of security all of these things seemed to be slipping away with his new heightened feelings he was overwhelmed by sadness at the way the others had laughed and shouted playing at War but he knew that they could not understand why without the memories he felt such love for Asher and for Fiona but they could not feel it back without the memories and he could not give them those Jonas knew with certainty that he could change nothing back in their dwelling that evening Lily chattered merrily about the wonderful holiday she had had playing with her friends having a midday meal out of doors and she confessed sneaking a very short try on her her father's bicycle I can't wait till I get my very own bicycle next month father's is too big for me I fell she explained matter of factly good thing Gabe wasn't in the child's seat a very good thing mother agreed frowning at the idea of it Gabriel waved his arms at the mention of himself he had begun to walk just the week before the first steps of a new child were always the occasion for celebration at the nurturing Center father said but also for the introduction of a discipline wand now father brought the Slender instrument home with him each night in case Gabriel misbehaved but he was a happy and easygoing toddler now he moved unsteadily across the room laughing gay he chirped gay it was the way he said his own name Jonas brightened it had been a depressing day for him after such a bright start but he set his glum thoughts aside he thought about starting to teach Lily to ride so that she could speed off proudly after her ceremony of 9 which would be coming soon it was hard to believe that it was almost December again that almost a year had passed since he had become a 12 he smiled as he watched the new child plant one small foot carefully before the other grinning with Glee at his own steps as he tried them out I want to get to sleep early tonight father said tomorrow's a busy day for me the twins are being born tomorrow and the test results showed that they're identical one for here one for elsewhere Lily chanted one for here one for else do you actually take it elsewhere father Jonas asked no I just have to make the selection I weigh them hand the larger over to a nurturer who's standing by waiting then I get the smaller one all cleaned up and comfy then I perform a small ceremony of release and glanced down grinning at Gabriel then I wave bye-bye he said in the special sweet voice he used when he spoke to the new child child he waved his hand in their familiar gesture Gabriel giggled and waved bye-bye back to him and somebody else comes to get him somebody from elsewhere that's right Jonas bonus Jonas rolled his eyes in embarrassment that his father had used the silly pet name Lily was deep in thought what if they give the little twin a name elsewhere a name like oh maybe Jonathan and here in our community at his naming the twin that we kept here is G and the name Jonathan and then there would be two children with the same name and they would look exactly the same and someday maybe when they were a six one group of sixes would go to visit another community on a bus and there in the other community in the other group of sixes would be a Jonathan who was exactly the same as the other Jonathan and then maybe they would get mixed up and take the wrong Jonathan home and maybe his parents wouldn't notice and she paused for breath Lily mother said I have a wonderful idea maybe when you become a 12 they'll give you the assignment of Storyteller I don't think we've had a Storyteller in the community for a long time but if I were on the committee I would definitely choose you for that job Lily grinned I have a better idea for One More Story she announced what if actually we were all Twins and didn't know it and so elsewhere there would be another Lily and another Jonas and another father and another Asher and another Chief Elder and another father groaned Lily he said it's bedtime Giver Jonas asked the next afternoon do you ever think about release do you mean my own release or just the general topic of release both I guess I apolog I mean I should have been more precise but I don't know exactly what I meant sit back up no need to lie down while we're talking Jonas who had already been stretched out on the bed when the question came to his mind sat back up I guess I do think about it occasionally The Giver said I think about my own release when I'm in an awful lot of pain I wish I could put in a request for it sometimes but I'm not permitted to do that until the new receiver is trained me Jonah said in an ejected voice he was not looking forward to the end of the training when he would become the new receiver it was clear to him what a terribly difficult and lonely life it was despite the honor I can't request release either Jonas pointed out it was in my rules The Giver laughed harshly I know that they hammered out those rules after the failure 10 years ago Jonas had heard again and again now referen to the previous failure but he still did not know what had happened 10 years before give her he said tell me what happened please The Giver Shrugged on the surface it was quite simple a receiver to be was selected the way you were the selection went smoothly enough the ceremony was held and the selection was made the crowd cheered as they did for you the new receiver was puzzled and a little frightened as you were my parents told me it was a female The Giver nodded Jonas thought of his favorite female Fiona and shivered he wouldn't want his gentle friend to suffer the way he had taking on the memories what was she like he asked The Giver The Giver looked sad thinking about it she was a remarkable young woman very self-possessed and Serene intelligent eager to learn he shook his head and drew a deep breath you know Jonas when she came to me in this room when she presented herself to begin her training Jonas interrupted him with a question can you tell me her name my parents said that it wasn't to be spoken again in the community but couldn't you say it just to me The Giver hesitated painfully as if saying the name aloud might be excruciating her name was Rosemary he told Jonas finally Rosemary I like that name The Giver went on when she came to me for the first time she sat there on the chair where you sat on your first day she was eager and excited and a little scared we talked I tried to explain things as well as I could the way you did to me The Giver chuckled ruul the explanations are difficult the whole thing is so beyond one's experience but I tried and she listened carefully her eyes were very luminous I remember he looked up Suddenly Jonas I gave you a memory that I told you was my favorite I still have a shred of it left the room with the family and grandparents Jonas nodded of course he remembered yes he said it had that wonderful feeling with it you told me it was love you can understand then that that's what I felt for Rosemary The Giver explained I loved her I feel it for you too he added what happened to her Jonas asked a training began she received well as you do she was so enthusiastic so delighted to experience new things I remember her laughter his voice faltered and trailed off what happened Jonas asked again after a moment please tell me the giver closed his eyes it broke my heart jonus to transfer pain to her but it was my job it was what I had to do the way I've had to do it to you the room was silent Jonas waited finally The Giver continued five weeks that was all I gave her happy memories a ride on a merry ground a kitten to play with a picnic sometimes I chose one just because I knew it would make her laugh and I so treasured the sound of that laughter in this room that had always been so silent but she was like you Jonas she wanted to experience everything she knew that it was her responsibility and so she asked me for more difficult memories Jus held his breath for a moment you didn't give a war did you not after just 5 weeks The Giver shook his head and SED no and I didn't give her physical pain but I gave her loneliness and I gave her loss I transferred a memory of a child taken from its parents that was the first one she appeared stunned at its end Jonas swallowed Rose Mary and her laughter had begun to seem real to him and he pictured her looking up from the bed of memories shocked the giver continued I backed off gave her more little Delights but everything changed once she knew about pain I could see it in her eyes she wasn't brave enough Jonas suggested The Giver didn't respond to the question she insisted that I continue did I not spare her she said it was her Duty and I knew of course that she was was correct I couldn't bring myself to inflict physical pain on her but I gave her anguish of many kinds poverty and hunger and Terror I had to Jonas it was my job and she had been chosen The Giver looked at him imploringly Jonas stroked his hand finally one afternoon we finished for the day it had been a hard session I tried to finish as I do with you by transferring something happy and cheerful but the times of laughter were gone by then she stood up very silently frowning as if she were making a decision then she came over to me and put her arms around me she kissed my cheek as Jonas watched The Giver stroked his own cheek recalling the touch of Rosemary's lips 10 years before she left here that day left left this room did not go back to her dwelling I was notified by the speaker that she had gone directly to the Chief Elder and asked to be released but it's against the rules the receiver in training can't apply for it's in your rules Jonas but it wasn't in hers she asked for release and they had to give it to her I never saw her again so so that was the failure Jonas thought it was obvious that it saddened The Giver very deeply but it didn't seem such a terrible thing after all and he Jonas would never have done it never have requested release No matter how difficult his training became the giver needed a successor and he had been chosen a thought occurred to Jonas Rosemary had been released very early in her training what if something happened to him Jonas he had a whole year years worth of memories now Giver he asked I can't request police I know that but what if something happened an accident what if I fell into the river like the little four Caleb did well that doesn't make sense because I'm a good swimmer but what if I couldn't swim and fell into the river and was lost then there wouldn't be a new receiver but you would already have given away an awful lot of important memory so even though they would select a new receiver the memories would be gone except for the shreds that you have left of them and then what if he started to laugh suddenly oh I sound like my sister Lily he said amused at himself The Giver looked at him Gravely you just stay away from the river my friend he said the community lost Rosemary after 5 weeks and it was a disaster for them I don't know what the community would do if they lost you why was it a disaster I think I mentioned to you once the giver reminded him that when she was gone the memories came back to the people if you were to be lost in the river Jonas your memories would not be lost with you Memories Are Forever Rosemary had only those five weeks worth and most of them were good ones but there were those few terrible Memories the ones that had overwhelmed her for a while they overwhelmed the community all those feelings they'd never experienced that before I was so devastated by my own grief at her loss and my own feeling of failure that I didn't even try to help them through it I was angry too The Giver was quiet for a moment obviously thinking you know he said finally if they lost you with all the training you've had now they'd have all those memories again themselves Jonas made a face they'd hate that they certainly would they wouldn't know how to deal with it at all the only way I deal with it is by having you there to help me Jonas pointed out with a sigh The Giver nodded I suppose he said slowly that I could you could what the giver was still deep in thought after a moment he said if you floated off in the river I suppose I could help the whole Community the way I've helped you it's an interesting concept I need to think about it some more maybe we'll talk about it again sometime but not now I'm glad you're a good swimmer Jonas but stay away from the river he laughed a little the laughter was not light-hearted his thoughts seemed to be elsewhere and his eyes were very troubled Jonas glanced at the clock there was so much work to be done always that he and The Giver seldom simply sat and talked the way they just had I'm sorry that I wasted so much time with my questions Jonah said I was only asking about release because my father is releasing a new child today a twin he has to select one and release the other one they do it by weight Jonas glanced at the clock actually I suppose he's already finished I think it was this morning the giver's face took on a solemn look I wish they wouldn't do that he said quietly almost to himself well they can't have two identical people around think how confusing it would be Jonas chuckled I wish I could watch he added as an afterthought he liked the thought of seeing his father perform the ceremony and making the little twin clean and comfy his father was such a gentle man you can watch The Giver said no Jonas told him they never let children watch it's very private Jonas The Giver told him I know that you read your training instructions very carefully don't you remember that you are allowed to ask anyone anything Jonas nodded yes but jonus when you and I have finished our time together you will be the new receiver you can read the books you'll have the memories you have access to everything it's part of your training if you want to watch a release you have simply to ask Jonas Shrugged well maybe I will then but it's too late for this one I'm sure it was this morning The Giver told him then something he had not known all private ceremonies are recorded they're in the Hall of closed records do you want to see this morning's release Jonas hesitated he was afraid that his father wouldn't like it if he watched something so private I think you should The Giver told him firmly all right then Jonah said tell me how the giver Rose from his chair went to the speaker on the wall and clicked the switch from off to on The Voice spoke immediately yes receiver how may I help you I would like to see this morning's release of the twin one moment receiver thank you for your instructions Jonas watched the video screen above the row of switches it's blank face began to flicker with zigzag lines then some numbers appeared followed by the date and time he was astonished and delighted that this was available to him and surprised that he had not known suddenly he could see a small windowless room empty except for a bed a table with some equipment on it Jonas recognized the scale he had seen them before when he'd been doing volunteer hours at the nurturing Center and a cupboard he could see pale carpeting on the floor it's just an ordinary room he commented I thought maybe they'd have it in the auditorium so that everybody could come all the old go to ceremonies of release but I suppose that when it's just a newborn they don't sh The Giver said his eyes on the screen Jonas's father wearing his nurturing uniform entered the room cradling a tiny new child wrapped in a soft blanket in his arms a uniformed woman followed through the door carrying a second new child wrapped in a similar blank like it that's my father Jonas found himself Whispering as if he might wake the little ones if he spoke aloud and the other nurturer is his assistant she's still in training but she'll be finished soon the two nurturers unwrapped the blankets and laid The Identical newborns on the bed they were naked Jonas could see that they were males he watched fascinated as his father gently lifted one one and then the other to the scale and weighed them he heard his father laugh good his father said to the woman I thought for a moment that they might both be exactly the same then we'd have a problem but this one he handed one after rewrapping it to his assistant is 6B even so you can clean him up and dress him and take him over to the center the woman took the new child and left through the door she had entered Jonas wed watched as his father bent over the squirming new child on the bed and you little guy you're only 5B 10 o a shrimp that's the special voice he uses with Gabriel Jonas remarked smiling watch The Giver said now he cleans him up and makes him comfy Jonas told him he told me be quiet Jonas The Giver commanded in a strange voice watch obediently Jonas concentrated on the screen waiting for what would happen next he was especially curious about the ceremony part his father turned and opened the cupboard he took out a syringe in a small bottle very carefully he inserted the needle into the bottle and began to fill the syringe with a clear liquid Jonas winced sympathetically he had forgotten the new children had to get shots he hated shots himself though he knew that they were necessary to his surprise his father began very carefully to direct the needle into the top of the new child's forehead puncturing the place where the fragile skin pulsed the newborn squirmed and wailed faintly why he sh The Giver said sharply his father was talking and Jonas realized that he was hearing the answer to the question he had started to ask still in the special voice his father was saying I know I know it hurts little guy but I have to use a vein and the veins in your arms are still too deeny weeny he pushed the plunger very slowly injecting the liquid into the scalp vein until the syringe was empty all done that wasn't so bad was it Jonas heard his father say cheerfully he turned aside and dropped the syringe into a waist receptacle now he cleans him up and makes him comfy Jonah said to himself aware that the giver didn't want to talk during the little ceremony as he continued to watch the new child no longer crying moved his arms and legs in a jerking motion then he went limp his head fell to the side his eyes half open then he was still with an odd shocked feeling Jonas recognized the gestures and posture and expression they were familiar he had seen them before but he couldn't remember where Jonah stared at the screen waiting for something to happen but nothing did the little twin lay motionless his father was putting things away folding the blanket closing the cupboard once again as he had on the playing field he felt the choking sensation once again he saw the face of the LI haired bloody Soldier as life left his eyes the memory came back he killed it my father killed it Jonas said to himself stunned at what he was realizing he continued to stare at the screen numbly his father tidied the room then he picked up a small carton that lay waiting on the floor set it on the bed and lifted the limp body into it he placed the lid on tightly he picked up the carton and carried it to the other side of the room he opened a small door in the wall Jonas could see Darkness behind the door it seemed to be the same sort of Chute into which trash was deposited at school his father loaded the carton containing the body into the Chute and gave it a shove bye-bye little guy Jonas heard his father say before he left the room then the screen went blank The Giver turned to him quite calmly he related when the speaker notified me that Rosemary had applied for release they turned on the tape to show me the process there she was my last glimpse of that beautiful child waiting they brought in the syringe and asked her to roll up her sleeve you suggested Jonas that perhaps she wasn't brave enough I don't know about bravery what it is what it means I do know that I sat here numb with horror wretched with helplessness and I listened as Rosemary told him that she would prefer to inject herself then she did so I didn't watch I looked away The Giver turned to him well there you are Jonas you were wondering about Rel Rel he said in a bitter voice Jonas felt a ripping sensation inside himself the feeling of terrible pain clawing its way forward to emerge in a cry I won't I won't go home you can't make me Jonas sobbed and shouted and pounded the bed with his fists sit up Jonas The Giver told him firmly Jonas obeyed him weeping shuddering he sat on the edge of the bed he would not look at the giver you may stay here tonight I want to talk to you but you must be quiet now while I notify your family unit no one must hear you cry Jonas looked up wildly no one heard that little twin cry either no one but my father he collapsed and sobs again The Giver waited silently finally Jonas was able to quiet himself and he sat huddled his shoulders shaking The Giver went to the wall speaker and clicked the switch to on yes receiver how may I help you notify the new receiver's family unit that he will be staying with me tonight for additional training I will take care of that sir thank you for your instructions the voice said I will take care of that sir I will take care of that sir Jonas mimicked in a cruel sarcastic voice I will do whatever you like sir I will kill people sir old people small newborn people I'd be happy to kill them sir thank you for your instruction sir how may I help he couldn't seem to stop The Giver grasped his shoulders firmly Jonas fell silent and stared at him listen to me Jonas they can't help it they know nothing you said that to me once before I said it because it's true it's the way they live it's the life that was created for them it's the same life that you would have if you had not been chosen as my successor but he lied to me Jonas wept it's what he was told to do and he knows nothing else what what about you do you lie to me too Jonas almost spat the question at The Giver I am empowered to lie but I have never lied to you Jonah stared at him release is always like that for people who break the rules three times for the old did they kill the old too yes it's true and what about Fiona she loves the old she's in training to care for them does she know yet what will she do when she finds out how will she feel Jonas brushed wetness from his face with the back of one hand Fiona is already being trained in the fine odd of relas The Giver told him she's very efficient at her work your red-haired friend feelings are not part of the life she's learned Jonas wrapped his arms around himself and rocked his own body back and forth what should I do I can't go back I can't The Giver stood up first I will order our evening meal then we will eat Jonas found himself using the nasty sarcastic voice again then we'll have a sharing of feelings The Giver gave a ruthful anguished empty laugh Jonas you and I are the only ones who have feelings we've been sharing them now for almost a year I'm sorry Giver Jonas said miserably I don't mean to be so hateful not to you the giver rubbed Jonas's hunched shoulders and after we eat he went on we'll make a plan Jonas looked up puzzled a plan for what there's nothing there's nothing we can do it's always been this way before me before you before the ones who came before you back and back and back his voice trailed The Familiar phrase Jonas The Giver said after a moment it's true that it has been this way for what seems forever but the memories tell us that it has not always been people felt things once you and I have been part of that so we know we know that they once felt things like pride and sorrow and and love Jonas added remembering the Family scene that had so affected him and pain he thought again of the soldier the worst part of holding the memories is not the pain it's the loneliness of it memories need to be shared I've started to share them with you Jonah said trying to cheer him that's true and having you here with me over the past year has made me realize that things must change for years I felt that they should but it seemed so hopeless now for the first time I think there might be a way The Giver said slowly and you brought it to my attention barely he glanced at the clock two hours ago Jonas watched him and listened it was late at night now they had talked and talked Jonah sat wrapped in a robe belonging to the giver the long robe that only Elders wore it was possible what they had planned barely possible if it failed he would very likely be killed but what did that matter if he stayed his life was no longer worth living yes he told the giver I'll do it I think I can do it I'll try anyway but I want you to come with me The Giver shook his head Jonas he said the community has depended all these Generations back and back and back and a resident receiver to hold their memories for them I've turned over many of them to you in the past year and I can't take them back there's no way for me to get them back if I have given them so if you escape once you are gone and Jonas you know that you can never return Jonas nodded solemnly it was the terrifying part yes he said I know but if you come with me The Giver shook his head and made a gesture to silence him he continued if you get away if you get Beyond if you get to elsewhere it will mean that the community has to Bear the burden themselves of the memories you had been holding for them I think that they can and that they will acquire some wisdom but it will be desperately hard for them when we lost Rosemary 10 years ago and her memories returned to the people they panicked and those were such few memories compared to yours when your memories return they'll need help remember how I helped you in the beginning when the receiving of memories was New To You Jonas nodded it was scary at first and it hurt a lot you needed me then and now they will it's no use they'll find someone to take my place they'll choose a new receiver there's no one ready for training not right away Oh They'll speed up a selection of course but I can't think of another child who has the right qualities there's a little female with pale eyes but she's only a six that's correct I know the one you mean her name is Catherine but she's too young so they will be forced to Bear those memories I want you to come Giver Jonas pleaded no I have to stay here The Giver said firmly I want to Jonas if I go with you and together we take a away all their protection from the memories Jonas the community will be left with no one to help them they'll be thrown into chaos they'll destroy themselves I can't go Giver Jonas suggested you and I don't need to care about the rest of them The Giver looked at him with a questioning smile Jonas hung his head of course they needed to care it was the meaning of everything and in any case Jonas The Giver sighed I wouldn't make it I'm very weakened now do you know that I no longer see colors Jonas's heart broke he reached for the giver's hand you have the colors The Giver told him and you have the courage I will help you to have the strength a year ago Jonas reminded him when I had just become a 12 when I began to see the first color you told me that the beginning had been different for you but that I wouldn't understand and The Giver brightened that's true and do you know Jonas that with all your knowledge now with all your memories with all you've learned still you won't understand because I've been a little selfish I haven't given any of it to you I wanted to keep it for myself to the last keep what when I was just a boy younger than you it began to come to me but it wasn't the seeing beyond for me it was different for me it was hearing Beyond Jonas frowned trying to figure that out what did you hear he asked music The Giver said smiling I began to hear something truly remarkable and it is called music I'll give you some before I go Jonah shook his head emphatically no give her he said I want you to keep that to have with you when I'm gone Jonas went home the next morning cheerfully greeted his parents and lied easily about what a busy Pleasant night he had had his father smiled and lied easily too about his busy and pleasant day the day before throughout the school day as he did his lessons Jonas went over the plan in his head it seemed startlingly simple Jonas and the giver had gone over it and over it late into the night hours for the next two weeks as the time for the December ceremony approached The Giver would transfer every memory of courage and strength that he could to Jonas he would need those to help him find the elsewhere that they were both sure existed they knew it would be a very difficult Journey then in the middle of the night before the ceremony Jonas would secretly leave his dwelling this was probably the most dangerous part because it was a violation of a major rule for any citizen not on official business to leave a dwelling at night I leave at midnight Jonah said the food collectors will be finished picking up the evening meal Remains by then and the path maintenance Crews don't start their work that early so there won't be anyone to see me unless of course someone is out on emergency business I don't know what you should do if you were seen Jonas The Giver had said I have memories of course of all kinds of escapes people fleeing from terrible things throughout history but every situation is individual there is no memory of one like this I'll be careful Jonah said no one will see me as receiver in training you're held in very high respect already so I think you wouldn't be questioned very forcefully i' just say I was on some important errand for the receiver I'd say it was all your fault that I was out after hours Jonas te Eed they both laughed a little nervously but Jonas was certain that he could slip away unseen from his house carrying an extra set of clothing silently he would take his bicycle to the riverbank and leave it there hidden in bushes with the clothing folded beside it then he would make his way through the darkness on foot silently to the annex there's no nighttime attendant The Giver explained I leave the door unlocked you simply slip into the room I'll be waiting for you his parents would discover when they woke that he was gone they would also find a cheerful note from Jonas on his bed telling them that he was going for an early morning ride along the river that he would be back for the ceremony his parents would be irritated but not alarmed they would think him inconsiderate and they would plan to chastise him later they would wait with mounting anger for him finally they would be forced to go taking Lily to the ceremony without him they won't say anything to anyone though Jon said quite certain they won't call attention to my rudeness because it would reflect on their parenting and anyway everyone is so involved in the ceremony that they probably won't notice that I'm not there now that I'm a 12 and in training I don't have to sit with my age group anymore so Asher will think I'm with my parents or with you and your parents will assume you're with Asher or with me Jonah Shrugged it will take everyone a while to realize that I'm not there at all and you and I will be long on our way by then in the early morning The Giver would order a vehicle and driver from the speaker he visited the other communities frequently meeting with their Elders his responsibilities extended over all the surrounding areas so this would not be an unusual undertaking ordinarily The Giver did not attend the December ceremony last year he had been present because of the occasion of Jonas's selection in which he was so involved but his life was usually quite separate from that of the community no one would comment on his absence or on the fact that he had chosen this day to be away when the driver and vehicle arrived The Giver would send the driver on some brief errand during his absence The Giver would help Jonas hide in the storage area of the vehicle he would have with him a bundle of food which The Giver would save from his own meals during the next two weeks the ceremony would begin with all the community there and by then Jonas and the giver would be on their way by midday Jonas's absence would become a apparent and would be a cause for serious concern the ceremony would not be disrupted such a disruption would be Unthinkable but Searchers would be sent out into the community by the time his bicycle and clothing were found the giver would be returning Jonas by then would be on his own making his journey elsewhere The Giver on his return would find the community in a state of confusion and panic confronted by a situation which they had never faced before and having no memories from which to find either solace wisdom they would not know what to do and would seek his advice he would go to the auditorium where the people would be gathered still he would stride to the stage and command their attention he would make the solemn announcement that Jonas had been lost in the river he would immediately begin the ceremony of loss Jonas Jonas they would say loudly as they had once said the name of Caleb The Giver would lead the chant together they would let Jonas's presence in their lives fade away as they said his name in unison more slowly softer and softer until he was disappearing from them until he was no more than an occasional murmur and then by the end of the long day gone forever not to be mentioned again their attention would turn to the overwhelming task of bearing the memories themselves The Giver would help them yes I understand that they'll need you Jonas had said at the end of the lengthy discussion and planning but I'll need you too please come with me he knew the answer even as he made the final plea my work will be finished the giver had replied gently when I have helped the community to change and become whole I'm grateful to you Jonas because without you I would never have figured out a way to bring about the change but your role now is to escape and my role is to stay but don't you want to be with me giver Jonas asked sadly the giver hugged him I love you Jonas he said but I have another place to go when my work here is finished I want to be with my daughter Jonas had been staring glumly at the floor now he looked up startled I didn't know you had a daughter Giver you told me that you'd had a spouse but I never knew about your daughter The Giver smiled and nodded for the first time in their long months together Jonas saw him look truly happy her name was Rosemary The Giver said it would work they could make it work Jonas told himself again and again throughout the day but that evening everything changed all of it all the things they had thought through so meticulously fell apart that night Jonas was forced to flee he left the dwelling shortly after the sky became dark and the community still it was terribly dangerous because some of the work Crews were still about but he moved stealthily and silently staying in the shadows making his way past the darkened dwellings in the empty Central Plaza toward the river Beyond The Plaza he could see the house of the old with the annex behind it outlined against the night sky but he could not stop there there was no time and every minute counted now and every minute must take him farther from the community now he was on the bridge hunched over on the bicycle pedaling steadily he could see the dark churning water far below he felt surprisingly no fear nor any regret at leaving the community behind but he felt a very deep sadness that he had left his closest friend behind he knew that in the danger of his Escape he must be absolutely silent but with his heart and mind he called back and hoped that with his capacity for hearing Beyond The Giver would know that Jonas had said goodbye it had happened at the evening meal the family unit was eating together as always Lily chattering away mother and father making their customary comments and lies Jonas knew about the day nearby Gabriel played happily on the floor babbling his baby talk looking with Glee now and then toward Jonas obviously delighted to have him back after the unexpected night away from the dwelling father glanced down toward the toddler enjoy it little guy he said this is your last night as visitor what do you mean Jonas asked Him Father sighed with disappointment well you know he wasn't here when you got home this morning because we had him stay overnight at the nurturing Center it seemed like a good opportunity with yugon to give it a try he'd been sleeping so soundly didn't it go well mother asked sympathetically father gave a ruthful laugh ha that's an understatement it was a disaster he cried all night apparently the night crew couldn't handle it they were really frazzled by the time I got to work Gabe you naughty thing Lily said with a scolding little cluck toward the grinning toddler on the floor so father went on we obviously had to make the decision even I voted for Gabriel release when we had the meeting this afternoon Jonas put down his fork and stared at his father release he asked father nodded we certainly gave it our best try didn't we yes we did Mother agreed emphatically Lily nodded in agreement too Jonas worked at keeping his voice absolutely calm when he asked when will he be released first thing tomorrow morning morning we have to start our preparation for the naming ceremony so we thought we'd get this taken care of right away it's bye-bye to you Gabe in the morning father had said in his sweet sing song voice Jonas reached the opposite side of the river stopped briefly and looked back the community where his entire life had been lived lay behind him now sleeping at dawn the orderly disa life he had always known would continue again without him the life where nothing was ever unexpected or inconvenient or unusual the life without color pain or past he pushed firmly again at the pedal with his foot and continued riding along the road it was not safe to spend time looking back he thought of the rules he had broken so far enough that if he were caught now he would be condemned first he had left the dwell at night a major transgression second he had robbed the community of food a very serious crime even though what he had taken was leftovers set out on the dwelling doorsteps for collection third he had stolen his father's bicycle he had hesitated for a moment standing beside the bike port in the darkness not wanting anything of his father's and uncertain as well whether he could comfortably ride the larger bike when he was so accustomed to his own but it was necessary because it had the child seat attached to the back and he had taken Gabriel too he could feel the little head nudge his back bouncing gently against him as he rode Gabriel was sleeping soundly strapped into the seat before he had left the dwelling he had laid his hands firmly on gab's back and transmitted to him the most soothing memory he could a slow swinging hammock under palm trees on an island someplace at evening with a rhythmic sound of languid water lapping hypnotically against a beach nearby as the memory seeped from him into the new child he could feel Gabe sleep ease and deepen there had been no stir at all when Jonas lifted him from the crib and placed him gently into the molded seat he knew that he had the remaining hours of night before they would be aware of his Escape so he rode hard steadily willing himself not to Tire as the minutes and Miles passed there had been no time time to receive the memories he and The Giver had counted on of strength and courage so he relied on what he had and hoped it would be enough he circled the outlying communities their dwellings dark gradually the distances between communities widened with longer stretches of empty road his legs achd at first then as time passed they became numb at dawn Gabriel began to stir they were in an isolated Place fields on either side of the road were dotted with thickets of trees here and there he saw a stream and made his way to it across a rutted bumpy Meadow Gabriel wide awake now giggled as the bicycle jolted him up and down Jonas unstrapped Gabe lifted him from the bike and watched him investigate the grass and twigs with delight carefully he hid the bicycle in thick bushes morning meal Gabe he unwrapped some of the food and fed them both then he filled the the cup he had brought with water from the stream and held it for Gabriel to drink he drank thirstily himself and sat by the stream watching the new child play he was exhausted he knew he must sleep resting his own muscles and preparing himself for more hours on the bicycle it would not be safe to travel in daylight they would be looking for him soon he found a place deeply hidden in the trees took the new child there and lay down holding Gabriel in his arms Gabe struggled cheerfully as if were a wrestling game the kind they had played back in the dwelling with tickles and laughter sorry Gabe Jonas told him I know it's morning and I know you just woke up but we have to sleep now he cuddled the small body close to him and rubbed the little back he murmured to Gabriel soothingly then he pressed his hands firmly and transmitted a memory of deep contented exhaustion Gabriel's head nodded after a a moment and fell against Jonas's chest together The Fugitive slept through the first dangerous day the most terrifying thing was the Plains by now days had passed Jonas no longer knew how many the journey had become automatic asleep by days hidden in underbrush and trees the finding of water the careful division of scraps of food augmented by what he could find in the fields and the endless endless miles on the bicycle By Night his leg muscles were taut now they achd when he settled himself to sleep but it was stronger and he stopped now less often to rest sometimes he paused and lifted Gabriel down for a brief bit of exercise running down the road or through a field together in the dark but always when he returned strapped the uncomplaining toddler into the seat again and remounted his legs were ready so he had enough strength of his own and had not needed what the giver might have provided had there been time but when the planes came he wished that he could have received the courage he knew there were search planes they flew so low that they woke him with the noise of their engines and sometimes looking out and up fearfully from the hiding places he could almost see the faces of the Searchers he knew that they could not see color and that their flesh as well as Gabriel's Light golden curls would be no more than smears of gray against the colorless foliage but he remembered from his Science and Technology studies at school that the search planes used heat seeking devices which could identify body warmth and would hone in on two humans huddled in shrubbery so always when he heard the aircraft sound he reached to Gabriel and transmitted memories of snow keeping some for himself together they became cold and when the planes were gone they would shiver holding each other until sleep came again sometimes urg ing the memories into Gabriel Jonas felt that they were more shallow a little weaker than they had been it was what he had hoped and what he and The Giver had planned that as he moved away from the community he would shed the memories and leave them behind for the people but now when he needed them when the planes came he tried hard to cling to what he still had of cold and to use it for their survival usually the aircraft came by day when they were hiding but he was alert at night too on the road always listening intently for the sound of the engines even Gabriel listened and would call out PL PL sometimes before Jonas had heard the terrifying noise when the aircraft Searchers came as they did occasionally during the night as they rode Jonas sped to the nearest tree or bush dropped to the ground and made himself and Gabriel cold but it was sometimes a frighteningly close call as he pedal through the nights through isolated landscape now with the community these far behind and no sign of human habitation around him or ahead he was constantly Vigilant looking for the next nearest hiding place should the sound of engines come but the frequency of the planes diminished they came less often and flew when they did come less slowly as if the search had become halfhazard and no longer hopeful finally there was an entire day and night when they did not come at all now the landscape was changing it was a subtle change hard to identify at first the road was narrower and bumpy apparently no longer tended by road crews it was harder suddenly to balance on the bike as the front wheel wobbled over stones and ruts one night Jonas fell when the bike jolted to a sudden stop against a rock he grabbed instinctively for Gabriel and the new child strapped tightly in his seat was uninjured only frightened when the bike fell to its side but Jonas's ankle was twisted and his knees were scraped and raw blood seeping through his torn trousers painfully he writed himself in the bike and reassured Gabe tentatively he began to ride in daylight he had forgotten the fear of the Searchers who seemed to have diminished into the past but now there were new fears the unfamiliar landscape held hidden unknown perils trees became more numerous and the forests beside the road were dark and thick with mystery they saw streams more frequently now and stopped often to drink Jonas carefully washed his injured knees wincing as he rubbed at the raw flesh the constant ache of his swollen ankle was eased when he soaked it occasionally in the cold water that rushed through roadside gullies he was newly aware that Gabriel safety depended entirely upon his own continued strength they saw their first waterfall and for the first time Wildlife plain plain Gabriel called and Jonas turned swiftly into the trees though he had not seen planes in days and he did not hear an aircraft engine now when he stopped the bicycle in the Shrubbery and turned to grab Gabe he saw the small chubby arm pointing toward the sky terrified he looked up but it was not a plane at all though he had never seen one before he identified it from his fading memories for the GI had given them to him often it was a bird soon there were many birds along the way soaring overhead calling they saw deer and once beside the road looking at them curious and unafraid a small reddish brown creature with a thick tail whose name Jonas did not know he slowed the bike and they stared at one another until the creature turned away and disappeared into the woods all of it was new to him after a life of sameness and predictability he was awed by the surprises that lay Beyond each curve of the road he slowed the bike again and again to look with Wonder at wild flowers to enjoy the throaty warble of a new bird nearby or merely to watch the way wind shifted the leaves and the trees during his 12 years in the community he had never felt such simple moments of Exquisite happiness but there were desperate fears building in him now as well the most Relentless of his new fears was that they would starve now that they had left the cultivated Fields behind them it was almost impossible to find food they finished the meager store of potatoes and carrots they had saved from the last agricultural area and now they were always hungry Jonas knelt by a stream and tried without success to catch a fish with his hands frustrated he threw rocks into the water knowing even as he did so that it was useless finally in desperation he fashioned a makeshift net looping the strands of Gabriel's blanket around a curved stick after countless tries the net yielded two flopping silvery fish methodically Jonas hacked them to pieces with a sharp Rock and fed the raw shreds to himself and to Gabriel they ate some berries and tried without success to catch a bird at night while Gabriel slept beside him Jon lay awake tortured by hunger and remembered his life in the community where meals were delivered to each dwelling every day he tried to use the flagging power of his memory to recreate meals and managed brief tantalizing fragments Banquets with huge roasted Meats birthday parties with thick frosted cakes and Lush fruits picked and eaten sun wararmed and dripping from trees but when the memory glimpses subsided he was left with annoying painful emptiness Jonas remembered suddenly and grimly the time in his childhood when he had been chastised for misusing a word the word had been starving you have never been starving he had been told you will never be starving now he was if he had stayed in the community he would not be it was as simple as that once he had yearned for Choice then when he had had a choice he had made the wrong one the choice to leave and now he was starving but if he had stayed his thoughts continued if he had stayed he would have starved in other ways he would have lived a life hungry for feelings for color for love and Gabriel for Gabriel there would have been no life at all so there had not really been a choice it became a struggle to ride the bicycle as Jonas weakened from lack of food and realized at the same time that he was encountering something he had for a long time yearned to see Hills his sprained ankle throbbed as he forced the pedal downward in an effort that was almost Beyond him and the weather was changing it rained for two days Jonas had never seen rain though he had experienced it often in the memories he had liked those rains enjoyed the new feeling of it but this was different he and Gabriel became cold and wet and it was hard to get dry even when Sunshine occasionally followed Gabriel had not cried during the long frightening Journey now he did he cried because he was hungry and cold and terribly weak Jonas cried too for the same reasons and another reason as well he wept because he was afraid now that he could not save Gabriel he no longer cared about about [Music] himself Jonas felt more and more certain that the destination lay ahead of him very near now in the night that was approaching none of his senses confirmed it he saw nothing ahead except the endless ribbon of Road unfolding and twisting narrow curves he heard no sound ahead yet he felt it felt it elsewhere was not far away but he had little hope left that he would be able to reach it his hope diminished further when the sharp cold air began to blur and thicken with swirling white Gabriel wrapped in his inadequate blanket was hunched shivering and Silent in his little seat Jonas stopped the bike wearily lifted the child down and realized with heartbreak how cold and weak Gabe had become standing in the freezing Mound that was thickening around his numb feet Jonas opened his own tunic held Gabriel to his bare chest and tied the torn and dirty blanket around them both Gabriel moved feebly against him and whimpered briefly into the silence that surrounded them dimly from a nearly forgotten perception as blurred as the substance itself Jonas recalled what the whiteness was it's called snow Gabe Jonas whispered snowflakes they fall down from the sky and they're very beautiful there was no response from the child who had once been so curious and alert Jonas looked down through the dusk at the little head against his chest Gabriel's curly hair was matted and filthy and there were tear stains outlined in dirt on his pale cheeks his eyes were closed as Jonas watched a snowflake leg drifted down and was caught briefly for a moment's Sparkle in the tiny fluttering eyelashes wearily he remounted the bicycle a steep hill loomed ahead in the best of conditions the hill would have been a difficult demanding ride but now the rapidly deepening snow obscured the narrow road and made the ride impossible his front wheel moved forward imperceptibly as he pushed on the pedals with his numb exhausted legs but the bicycle stopped it would not move he got off and let it drop sideways into the snow for a moment he thought how easy it would be to drop aside it himself to let himself and Gabriel slide into the softness of snow the darkness of night the warm comfort of sleep but he had come this far he must try to go on the memories had fallen behind him now escaping from his protection to return to the people of his community were there any left at all could he hold on to a last bit of warmth did he still have the strength to give could Gabriel still receive he pressed his hands into Gabriel's back and tried to remember Sunshine for a moment it seemed that nothing came to him that his power was completely gone then it flickered suddenly and he felt tiny tongues of heat begin to creep across and into his Frozen feet and legs he felt his face begin to glow and the tense cold skin of his arms and hands relaxed for a fleeting second he felt that he wanted to keep it for himself to let himself bathe in sunlight unburdened by anything or anyone else but the moment passed and was followed by an urge a need a passionate yearning to share the warmth with the one person left for him to love aching from the effort he forced the memory of warmth into the thin shivering body in his arms Gabriel stirred for a moment they both were bathed in warm warmth and renewed strength as they stood hugging each other in the blinding snow Jonas began to walk up the hill the memory was agonizingly brief he had trudged no more than a few yards through the night when it was gone and they were cold again but his mind was alert now warming himself ever so briefly had shaken away the lethargy and resignation and restored his will to survive he began to walk faster on feet that he could no longer feel but the hill was treacherously steep he was impeded by the snow and his own lack of strength he didn't make it very far before he stumbled and fell forward on his knees unable to rise Jonas tried a second time his Consciousness grasped at a wisp of another warm memory and tried desperately to hold it there to enlarge it and pass it into Gabriel his spirits and strength lifted with the momentary warmth and he stood again Gabriel stirred against him as he began to climb but the memory faded leaving him colder than before if only he had had time to receive more warmth from The Giver before he escaped maybe there would be more left for him now but there was no purpose in ifon his entire concentration now had to be on moving his feet warming Gabriel and himself and going forward he climbed stopped and warmed them both briefly again with a tiny scrap of memory that seemed certainly to be all he had left the top of the hill seemed so far away and he did not know what lay Beyond but there was nothing left to do but continue he trudged upward as he approached the summit of the hill at last something began to happen he was not warmer if anything he felt more numb and more cold he was not less exhausted on the contrary his steps were leaden and he could barely move his freezing tired legs but he began suddenly to feel happy he began to recall happy times he remembered his parents and his sister he remembered his friends Asher and Fiona he remembered the giver memories of Joy flooded through him suddenly he reached the place where the hill crested and he could feel the ground under his snow covered feet become level it would not be uphill anymore we're almost there Gabriel he whispered feeling quite certain without knowing why I remember this place Gab and it was true but it was not a grasping of a thin and burdensome recollection this was different this was something that he could keep it was a memory of his own he hugged Gabriel and rubbed him briskly warming him to keep him alive the wind was bitterly cold the snow swirled blurring his vision but somewhere ahead through the blinding storm he knew there was warmth and light using his final strength and a special knowledge that was deep inside him Jonas found the sled that was waiting for them at the top of the hill numbly his hands fumbled for the Rope he settled himself on the sled and hugged Gabe close the hill was steep but the snow was powdery and soft and he knew that this time there would be no ice no fall no pain inside his freezing body his heart surged with hope they started down Jonas felt himself of losing Consciousness and with his whole being willed himself to stay upright at top the sled clutching Gabriel keeping him safe the runners sliced through the snow and the wind whipped at his face as they sped in a straight line through an incision that seemed to lead to the Final Destination the place that he had always felt was waiting the elsewhere that held their future and their past he forced his eyes open as they went downward downward sliding and all at once he could see light and he recognized them now he knew they were shining through the windows of rooms that they were red blue and yellow lights that twinkled from trees in places where families created and kept memories where they celebrated love downward downward faster and faster suddenly he was aware with certainty and joy that below ahead they were waiting for him and that they were waiting too for the baby for the first time he heard something that he knew to be music he heard people singing behind him across vast distances of space and time from the place he had left he thought he heard music too but perhaps it was only an echo [Music] this is Ron riffkin we hope you have enjoyed this production of The Giver by Lois Lowry this program was produced and directed by Lauren krenzel original music by Robert Kesler and Ethan Newberg production copyright 1995 bantom double day Dell audio publishing All rights [Music] reserved [Music] she knelt beside the basket what did you say his name is Gabriel hello Gabriel she said in the sing song long voice then she giggled oops she whispered I think he's asleep I guess I better be quiet Jonas turned to the school assignments on his desk some chance of that he thought Lily was never quiet probably she should hope for an assignment as speaker so that she could sit in the office with the microphone all day making announcements he laughed silently to himself picturing his sister droning on in the self-important voice that all the speakers seemed to develop saying things like attention this is the reminder to females under nine that hair ribbons are to be neatly tied at all times he turned toward lilyan noticed to his satisfaction that her ribbons were as usual undone and dangling there would be an announcement like that quite soon he felt certain and it would be directed mainly at Lily though her name of course would not be mentioned everyone would know everyone had known he remembered with humiliation that the announcement attention this is a reminder to male 11 that objects are not to be removed from the recreation area and that snacks are to be eaten not hoarded had been specifically directed at him the day last month that he had taken an apple home no one had mentioned it not even his parents because the Public Announcement had been sufficient to produce the appropriate remorse he had of course disposed of the apple and made his apology to the recreation director the next morning before school Jonas thought again about that incident he was still bewildered by it not by the announcement or the necessary apology those were standard procedures and he had deserved them but by the incident itself he probably should have brought up his feeling of bewilderment that very evening when the family unit had shared their feelings of the day but he had not been able to sort out and put words to the source of his confusion so he had let it pass it had happened during the recreation period when he had been playing with Asher Jonas had casually picked up an apple from the basket where the snacks were kept and had thrown it to his friend Asher had thrown it back and they had begun a simple game of catch there had been nothing special about it it was an activity that he had performed countless times throw catch throw catch it was effortless for Jonas and even boring though Asher enjoyed it and playing catch was a required activity for Asher because it would improve his hand eye coordination which was not up to standards but suddenly Jonas had noticed following the path of the Apple through the air with his eyes that the piece of fruit had well this was the part that he couldn't adequately understand the Apple had changed just for an instant it had changed in midair he remembered then it was in his hand and he looked at it carefully but it was the same Apple unchanged the same size and shape the perfect sphere the same nondescript shade about the same shade as his own tunic there was absolutely nothing remarkable about that apple he had tossed it back and forth between his hands a few times then thrown it again to Asher and again in the air for an instant only it had changed it had happened four times Jonas had blinked looked around and then tested his eyesight squinting at the small print on the identification badge attached to his tunic he read his name quite clearly he could also clearly see Asher at the other end of the throwing area and he had had no problem catching the Apple Jonas had been completely mystified Ash he had called does anything seem strange to you about the Apple yes Asher called back laughing it jumps out of my hand onto the ground Asher had just dropped it once again so Jonas laughed too and with his laughter tried to ignore his uneasy conviction that something had happened but he had taken the Apple home against the recreation area rules that evening before his parents and Lily arrived at the dwelling he had held it in his hands and looked at it carefully was slightly bruised now because Asher had dropped it several times but there was nothing at all unusual about the apple he had held a magnifying glass to it he had tossed it several times across the room watching and then rolled it around around on his desktop waiting for the thing to happen again but it hadn't the only thing that happened was the announcement later that evening over the speaker the announcement that had singled him out without using his name that had caused both of his parents to glance meaningfully at his desk where the apples still lay now sitting at his desk staring at his schoolwork as his family hovered over the new child in its basket he shook his head trying to forget the odd incident he forced himself to arrange his papers and try to study a little before the evening meal the new child Gabriel stirred and whimpered and father spoke softly to Lily explaining the feeding procedure as he opened the container that held the formula and Equipment the evening proceeded as all evenings did in the family unit in the dwelling in the community quiet reflective time for Renewal and preparation for the day to come it was different only in the addition to it of the new child with his pale solemn knowing [Music] eyes Jonas rode at a leisurely Pace glancing at the bike ports beside the building to see if he could spot ashers he didn't often do his volunteer hours with his friend because Asher frequently Fooled Around and made serious work a little difficult but now with 12 coming so soon and the volunteer hours ending it didn't seem to matter the freedom to choose where to spend those hours had always seemed a wonderful luxury to Jo on us other hours of the day were so carefully regulated he remembered when he had become an eight as Lily would do shortly and had been faced with that freedom of choice the eights always set out on their first volunteer hour a little nervously giggling and staying in groups of friends they almost invariably did their hours on Recreation Duty first helping with the younger ones in a place where they still felt comfortable but with guidance as they developed self-confidence and maturity they moved on to other jobs jobs gravitating towards those that would suit their own interests and skills a male 11 named Benjamin had done his entire nearly four years in the rehabilitation center working with citizens who had been injured it was rumored that he was as skilled now as the rehabilitation directors themselves and that he had even developed some machines and methods to hasten Rehabilitation there was no doubt that Benjamin would receive his assignment to that field and would probably be permitted to bypass most of the training Jonas was impressed by the things Benjamin Had achieved he knew him of course since they had always been groupmates but they had never talked about the boy's accomplishments because such a conversation would have been awkward for Benjamin there was never any comfortable way to mention or discuss one's successes without breaking the rule against bragging even if one didn't mean to it was a minor rule rather like rudess punishable only by gentle chastisement but still better to steer clear of an occasion governed by a rule which would be so easy to break the area of dwellings behind him Jonas rode past the community structures hoping to spot Asher's bicycle parked beside one of the small factories or Office Buildings he passed the child care center where Lily stayed after school and the play area surrounding it he rode through the Central Plaza and the large Auditorium where public meetings were held Jonas slowed and looked at the name tags on the bicycles lined up outside the nurturing Center then he checked those outside food distribution it was always fun to help with the deliveries and he hoped he would find his friend there so that they could go together on The Daily rounds carrying the cartons of supplies into the dwellings of the community but he finally found Asher's bicycle leaning as usual instead of upright in its Port as it should have been at the house of the old there was only one other child's bicycle there that of a female 11 named Fiona Jonas liked Thea she was a good student quiet and polite but she had a sense of fun as well and it didn't surprise him that she was working with Asher today he parked his bicycle neatly in the port beside theirs and entered the building hello Jonas the attendant at the front desk said she handed him the signup sheet and stamped her own official seal beside his signature all of his volunteer hours would be carefully tabulated at the hall of open records once long ago it was whispered among the children and 11 had arrived at the ceremony of 12 only to hear a public announcement that he had not completed the required number of volunteer hours and would not therefore be given his assignment he had been permitted an additional month in which to complete the hours and then given his assignment privately with no applause no celebration a disgrace that had clouded his entire future it's good to have some volunteers here today the attendant told him we celebrate to release this morning and that always throws the schedule off a little so things get backed up she looked at a printed sheet let's see Asher and Fiona are helping in the bathing room why don't you join them there you know where it is don't you Jonas nodded thanked her and walked down the long hallway he glanced into the rooms on either side the old was sitting quietly some visiting and talking with one another others doing handwork and simple crafts a few were asleep each room was comfortably furnished the floors covered with thick carpeting it was a Serene and slow paced Place unlike the busy centers of manufacture and distribution where the daily work of the community occurred Jonas was glad that he had over the years chosen to do his hours in a variety of places so that he could experience the differences he realized though that not focusing on one area meant he was left with not the slightest idea not even a guess of what his assignment would be he laughed softly thinking about the ceremony again Jonas he teased himself but he suspected that with the date so near probably all of his friends were too he passed a caretaker walking slowly with one of the old in the hall hello Jonas the young uniformed man said smiling pleasantly the woman beside him whose arm he held was hunched over as she shuffled along in her soft slippers she looked toward Jonas and smiled but her dark eyes were clouded and blank he realized that she was blind he entered the bathing room with its warm moist air and scent of cleansing lotions he removed his tunic hung it carefully on a wall hook and put on the volunteer smok that was folded on a shelf hi Jonas Asher called from the corner where he was kneeling beside a tub Jonas saw Fiona nearby at a different tub she looked up and smiled at him but she was busy gently washing a man who lay in the warm water Jonas greeted them and the caretaking attendants at work nearby then he went to the row of padded lounging chairs where others of the old were waiting he had worked here before he knew what to do your turn Lissa he said reading the name tag on the woman's robe I'll just start the water and then help you up he pressed the button on a nearby empty tub and watched as the warm water flowed in through the many small openings on the sides the tub would be filled in a minute and the water flow would stop automatically he helped the woman from the chair led her to the tub removed her robe and studied her with his hand on her arm as she stepped in and lowered herself she leaned back and sighed with pleasure her head on a soft cushioned headrest comfortable he asked and she nodded her eyes closed Jonas squeezed cleansing lotion onto the clean sponge at the edge of the tub and began to wash her frail body last night he had watched as his father bathed the new child this was much the same The Fragile skin the soothing water the gentle motion of his hand slippery with soap the relaxed peaceful smile on the woman's face reminded him of Gabriel being bathed and the nakedness too it was against the rules for children or adults to look at another's nakedness but the rule did not apply to new children or the old Jonas was glad it was a nuisance to keep one self covered while changing for games and the required apology if one had by mistake glimpsed another's body was always awkward he couldn't see why it was necessary he liked the feeling of safety here in this warm and quiet room he liked the expression of Trust on the woman's face as she lay in the water unprotected exposed and free from the corner of his eye he could see his friend Fiona help the old man from the tub and Tenderly Pat his thin naked body dry with an absorbent cloth she helped him into his robe Jonas thought Lissa had drifted into sleep as the old often did and he was careful to keep his motions steady and gentle so he wouldn't wake her he was surprised when she spoke her eyes still closed this morning we celebrated the release of Roberto she told him it was wonderful I knew Roberto Jonah said I helped with his feeding the last time I was here just a few weeks ago he was a very interesting man Lissa opened her eyes happily they told his whole life before they released him she said they always do but to be honest she whispered with a mischievous look some of the tellings are a little boring I've even seen some of the old fall asleep during tellings when they released Edna recently did you know Edna Jonah shook his head he couldn't recall anyone named Edna well they tried to make her life sound meaningful and of course she added primly all lives are meaningful I don't mean that they aren't but Edna my goodness she was a birth mother and then she worked in food production for years until she came here she never even had a family unit Lissa lifted her head and looked around to make sure no one else was listening then she confided I don't think Edna was very smart Jonas laughed he rinsed her left arm laid it back into the water and began to wash her feet she murmured with pleasure as he massaged Ed her feet with the sponge but Roberto's life was wonderful Lissa went on after a moment he had been an instructor of Els you know how important that is and he'd been on the planning committee and goodness I don't know how he found the time he also raised two very successful children and he was also the one who did the landscaping design for the Central Plaza he didn't do the actual labor of course now you're back lean forward and I'll help you sit up Jonas put his arm around to and supported her as she sat he squeezed the sponge against her back and began to rub her sharp boned shoulders tell me about the celebration well there was the telling of his life that is always first then the toast we all raised our glasses and cheered we chanted The Anthem he made a lovely goodbye speech and several of us made little speeches wishing him well I didn't though I've never been fond of public speaking he was thrilled you should have seen the look on his face when they let him go Jonas slowed The Strokes of his hand on her back thoughtfully Lissa he asked what happens when they make the actual release where exactly did Roberto go she lifted her bare wet shoulders in a small shrug I don't know I don't think anybody died except the committee he just bowed to all of us and then walked like they all do through the special door in the releasing room but you should have seen his look pure happiness I'd call it Jonas grinned I wish I'd been there to see it Lissa frowned I don't know why they don't let children come not enough room I guess they should enlarge the releasing room we'll have to suggest that to the committee maybe they'd study it Jonah said slightly and Lissa chortled with laughter right she hooted and Jonas helped her from the tub usually at the morning ritual when the family members told their dreams Jonas didn't contribute much he rarely dreamed sometimes he awoke with a feeling of fragments afloat in his sleep but he couldn't see seemed to grasp them and put them together into something worthy of telling at the ritual but this morning was different he had dreamed very vividly the night before his mind wandered while lily as usual recounted a lengthy dream this one a frightening one in which she had against the rules been riding her mother's bicycle and been caught by the security guards they all listened carefully and discussed with Lily the warning that the dream had given thank you for your dream Lily Jonah said said the standard phrase automatically and tried to pay better attention while his mother told of a dream fragment a disquieting scene where she had been chastised for a rule infraction she didn't understand together they agreed that it probably resulted from her feelings when she had reluctantly dealt punishment to the citizen who had broken the major rules a second time father said that he had had no dreams Gabe father asked looking down at the basket with a new child lay gurgling after his feeding ready to be taken back to the nurturing center for the day they all laughed dreamt telling began with threes if new children dreamed no one knew Jonas mother asked they always asked though they knew how rarely Jonas had a dream to tell I did dream last night Jonas told him he shifted in his chair frowning good father said tell us the details aren't clear really Jonas explained trying to recreate the odd dream in his mind I think I was in the bathing room at the house of the old that's where you were yesterday father pointed out Jonas nodded but it wasn't really the same there was a tub in the dream but only one and the real bathing room has rows and rows of them but the room in the dream was warm and damp and I had taken off my tunic but hadn't put on the smok so my chest was Bare I was aspiring because it was so warm and Fiona was there the way she was yesterday Asher too mother asked Jonah shook his head no it was only me and Fiona alone in the room standing beside the tub she was laughing but I wasn't I was almost a little angry at her in the dream because she wasn't taking me seriously seriously about what Lily asked Jonas looked at his plate for some reason that he didn't understand he felt slightly embarrassed I think I think I was trying to convince her that she should get into the tub of water he paused he knew he had to tell it all that it was not only all right but necessary to tell all of a dream so he forced himself to relate the part that made him uneasy I wanted her to take off her clothes and get into the tub he explained quickly I wanted to bathe her I had the sponge in my hand but she wouldn't she kept laughing and saying no he looked up at his parents that's all he said can you describe the strongest feeling in your dream son father asked Jonas thought about it the details were murky and vague but the feelings were clear and flooded him again now as he thought the wanting he said I knew that she wouldn't and I think I knew that she shouldn't but I wanted it so terribly I could feel the wanting all through me thank you for your dream Jonas mother said after a moment she glanced at father Lily father said it's time to leave for school would you walk beside me this morning and keep an eye on the new child's basket we want to be certain he doesn't wiggle himself loose Jonas began to rise to collect his school books he thought it surprising that they hadn't talked about his dream at length before the thank you perhaps they found it as confusing as he had wait jonus mother said gently I'll write an apology to your instructor so that you won't have to speak one for being late he sank back down into his chair puzzled he waved to father and Lily as they left the dwelling carrying Gabe in his basket he watched while mother tidied the remains of the morning meal and placed the tray by the front door for the collection crew finally she sat down beside him at the table Jonas she said with a smile the feeling you described as the wanting it was your first stirrings father and I have been expecting it to happen to you it happens to everyone it happened to father when he was your age and it happened to me and it will happen someday to Lily and very often mother added it begins with a dream stirrings he had heard the word before he remembered that there was a reference to the stirrings in the Book of Rules though he didn't remember what it said and now and then the speaker mentioned it attention a reminder that stirrings must be reported in order for treatment to take place he had always ignored that announcement because he didn't understand it and it had never seemed to apply to him in any way he ignored as most citizens did many of the commands and reminders read by the speaker do I have to report it he asked his mother she laughed you did in the dreamt telling that's enough but what about the treatment the speaker says the treatment must take place Jonas felt miserable just when the ceremony was about to happen his ceremony of 12 would he have to go away someplace for treatment just because of his stupid dream but his mother laughed again in a reassuring affectionate way no no she said it's just the pills you're ready for the pills that's all that's the treatment for stirrings Jonas brightened he knew about the pills his parents both took them each morning and some of his friends did he knew once he had been heading off to school with Asher both of them on their bikes when Asher's father had called from their dwelling doorway you forgot your pill Asher Asher had groaned good-naturedly turned his bike and ridden back while Jonas waited it was the sort of thing one didn't ask a friend about because it might have fallen into that uncomfortable category of being different Asher took a pill each morning Jonas did not always better less rude to talk about things that were the same now he swallowed followed the small pill that his mother handed him that's all he asked that's all she replied returning the bottle to the cupboard but you mustn't forget I'll remind you for the first weeks but then you must do it on your own if you forget the stirrings will come back the dreams of stirrings will come back sometimes the dosage must be adjusted Asher takes them Jonas confided his mother nodded unsurprised many of your groupmates probably do the males at least and they all will soon females too how long will I have to take them until you enter the house of the old she explained all of your adult life but it becomes routine after a while you won't even pay much attention to it she looked at her watch if you leave right now you won't even be late for school hurry along and thank you again Jonas she added as he went to the door for your dream pedaling rapidly down the path Jonas felt oddly proud to joined those who took the pills for a moment though he remembered the dream again the dream had felt pleasurable though the feelings were confused he thought that he had liked the feelings that his mother had called stirrings he remembered that upon waking he' wanted to feel the stirrings again then in the same way that his own dwelling Slipped Away behind him as he rounded a corner on his bicycle the dream slipped away from his thoughts very briefly a little guiltily he tried to grasp it back but the feelings had disappeared the stirrings were gone Lily please hold still mother said again Lily standing in front of her fidgeted impatiently I can tie them myself she complained I always have I know that mother replied straightening the hair ribbons and the little girl's braids but I also know that they constantly come loose and more often than not they're dangling down your back by afternoon today at least we want them to be neatly tied and to stay neatly tied I don't like hair ribbons I'm glad I only have to wear them one more year Lily said irritably next year I get my bicycle too she added more cheerfully there are good things each year Jonas reminded her this year you get to start your volunteer hours and remember last year when you became a seven you were so happy to get your front button jacket the little girl nodded and looked down at herself at the jacket with its row of large buttons that designated her as a seven fours fives and sixes all wore jackets that fasten down the back so that they would have to help each other dress and would learn interdependence the front button jacket was the first sign of Independence the first very visible symbol of growing up the bicycle at 9: would be the powerful emblem of moving gradually out into the community away from the protective family unit Lily grinned and wriggled away from her mother and this year you get your assignment she said to Jonas in an excited voice I hope you get pilot that you take me flying sure I will said Jonas and I'll get a special little parachute that just fits you and I'll take you up to oh maybe 20,000 ft and open the door and Jonas mother warned I was only joking Jonas groaned I don't want pilot anyway if I get pilot I'll put in an appeal come on mother said she gave Lily's ribbons a final tug Jonas are you ready did you take your pill I want to get a good seat in the auditorium she prodded Lily to the front door and Jonas followed it was a short ride to the auditorium Lily waving to her friends from her seat on the back of Mother's bicycle Jonas stowed his bicycle beside mother's and made his way through the throng to find his group the entire Community attended the ceremony each year for the parents had meant two days holiday day from work they sat together in the huge Hall children sat with their groups until they went one by one to the stage father though would not join mother in the audience right away for the earliest ceremony the naming the nurturers brought the new children to the stage Jonas from his place in the balcony with the El searched the auditorium for a glimpse of Father it wasn't at all hard to spot the nurturer section at the front coming from it with the whales and howls of the new children who sat squirming on the nurturer laps at every other public ceremony the audience was silent and attentive but once a year they all smiled indulgently at the commotion from the little ones waiting to receive their names and families Jonas finally caught his father's eye and waved father grinned and waved back then held up the hand of the new child on his lap making it wave too it wasn't Gabriel Gabe was back at the nurturing center today being cared for by the night crew he had been given an unusual and special reprieve from the committee and granted an additional year of nurturing before his naming and placement father had gone before the committee with a plea on behalf of Gabriel who had not yet gained the weight appropriate to his days of life nor begun to sleep soundly enough at night to be placed with his family unit normally such a new child would be labeled inadequate and released from the community instead as a result of Father's plea Gabriel had been labeled uncertain and given the additional year he would continue to be nurtured at the center and would spend his nights with Jonas's family unit each family member including Lily had been required to sign a pledge that they would not become attached to this little temporary guest and that they would relinquish him without protest or appeal when he was assigned to his own family unit and next year ceremony at least Jonas thought after Gabriel was placed next year they would still see him often because he would be part of the community if he were released they would not see him again ever those who were released even as new children were sent elsewhere and never returned to the community father had not had to release a single new child this year so Gabriel would have represented a real failure and sadness even Jonas though he didn't hover over the little one the way Lily and his father did was glad that Gabe had not been released the first ceremony began right on time and Jonas watched as one after another each new child was given a name and handed by the nurturer to its new family unit for some it was a first child but many came to the stage accompanied by another child beaming with pride to receive a little brother or sister the way Jonas had when he was about to be a five Asher poked Jonas's arm remember when we got Philippa he asked in a loud whisper Jonas nodded it had only been last year Asher's parents had waited quite a long time before applying for a second child maybe Jonah suspected they had been so exhausted by Asher's Lively foolishness that they had needed a little time two of their group Fiona and another female named Thea were missing temporarily waiting with their parents to receive new children but it was rare that there was such an age gap between children in a family unit when her family ceremony was completed Fiona took the seat that had been saved for her in the row ahead of Asher and Jonas she turned and whispered to them he's cute but I don't like his name very much she made a face and giggled Fiona's new brother had been named Bruno it wasn't a great name Jonas thought like well like Gabriel for example but it was okay the audience Applause which was enthusiastic at each naming Rose in an exu he did not know what his selection meant he did not know what he was to become or what would become of him [Music] now for the first time in his 12 years of life Jonas felt separate different he remembered what the Chief Elder had said that his training would be alone and apart but his training had not yet begun and already upon leaving the auditorium he felt the apartness holding the folder she had given him he made his way through the throng looking for his family unit and for Asher people moved aside for him they watched him he thought he could hear Whispers Ash he called spotting his friend near the rows of bicycles ride back with me sure Asher smiled his usual smile friendly and familiar but Jonas felt a moment of hesitation from his friend an uncertainty congratulations Asher said you too Jonas replied it was really funny when she told about the smacks you got more Applause than almost anybody else the other new TW clustered nearby placing their folders carefully into the carrying containers on the backs of the bikes in each dwelling tonight they would be studying the instructions for the beginning of their training each night for years the children had memorized the required lesson for school often yawning with boredom tonight they would all begin eagerly to memorize the rules for their adult assignments congratulations Asher someone called then that hesitation again you too Jonas Asher and Jonas responded with congratulations to their groupmates Jonas saw his parents watching him from the place where their own bicycles were waiting Lily had already been strapped into her seat he waved they waved back smiling but he noticed that Lily was watching him solemnly her thumb and her mouth he rode directly to his dwelling exchanging only small jokes and unimportant remarks with Asher see you in the morning Recreation director he called dismounting by his door as ashard continued on right see you Asher called back once again there was just a moment when things weren't quite the same weren't quite as they had always been through the long friendship perhaps he had imagined it things couldn't change with Asher the evening meal was quieter than usual Lily chattered about her plans for volunteer work she would begin she said at the nurturing Center since she was already an expert at feeding Gabriel I know she added quickly when her father gave her a warning glance I won't mention his name I know I'm not supposed to know his name I can't wait for tomorrow to come she said happily Jonas sighed uneasily I can he muttered you've been greatly honored his mother said your father and I are very proud it's the most important job in the community father said but just the other night you said that the job of making assignments was the most important mother n nodded this is different it's not a job really I never thought never expected she paused there's only one receiver but the Chief Elder said that they had made a selection before and that it failed what was she talking about both of his parents hesitated finally his father described the previous selection it was very much as it was today Jonas the same suspense as 111 had been passed over when the assignments were given then the announcement when they singled out the one Jonas interrupted what was his name his mother replied her not his it was a female but we are never to speak the name or to use it again for a new child Jonas was shocked a name designated not to be spoken indicated the highest degree of disgrace what happened to her he asked nervously but his parents looked blank we don't know his father said uncomfortably we never saw her again a silence fell over the room they looked at each other finally his mother rising from the table said you've been greatly honored Jonas greatly honored alone in his sleeping room prepared for bed Jonas opened his folder at last some of the other TW he had noticed had been given folders thick with printed Pages he imagined Benjamin the scientific male in his group beginning to read pages of rules and instructions with relish he pictured Fiona smiling her gentle smile as she bent over the lists of Duties and methods that she would be required to learn in the days to come but his own folder was startlingly close to empty inside there was only a single printed sheet he read it twice Jonas receiver of memory one go immediately at the end of school hours each day to the annex entrance behind the house of the old and present yourself to the attendant two go immediately to your dwelling at the conclusion of training hours each day three from this moment you are Exempted from Rules governing rudeness you may ask any any question of any citizen and you will receive answers four do not discuss your training with any other member of the community including parents and Elders five from this moment you are prohibited from dreamt telling six except for illness or injury unrelated to your training do not apply for any medication seven you are not permitted to apply for release eight you may lie Jonas was stunned what would happen to his friendships his mindless hours playing ball or riding his bike along the river those had been happy and vital times for him were they to be completely taken from him now the simple logistic instructions where to go and when were expected every 12 had to be told of course where and how and when to report for training but he was a little dismayed that his schedule left no time apparently for recreation the exemption from rudess startled him reading it again however he realized that it didn't compel him to be rude it simply allowed him the option he was quite certain he would never take advantage of it he was so completely so thoroughly accustomed to Courtesy within the community that the thought of asking another citizen an intimate question of calling someone's attention to an area of awkwardness was unnerving the Prohibition of dreamt telling he thought would not be a real problem he dreamed so rarely that the dreamt telling did not come easily to him anyway and he was glad to be excused from it he wondered briefly though how to deal with it at the morning meal what if he did dream should he simply tell his family unit as he did so often anyway that he hadn't that would be a lie still the final rule said well he wasn't quite ready to think about the final rule on the page the Restriction of medication unnerved him medication was always available to Citizens even to Children through their parents when he had crushed his finger in the door he had quickly gasping into the speaker notified his mother she had hastily requisitioned relief of pain medication which had promptly been delivered to his dwelling almost instantly the excruciating pain in his hand had diminished to the throb which was now all he could recall of the experience rereading rule number six he realized that a crushed finger fell into the category of unrelated to training so if it ever happened again and he was quite certain it wouldn't he had been very careful near heavy doors since the accident he could still receive medication the pill he took now each morning was also unrelated to training so he would continue to receive the pill but he remembered uneasily what the Chief Elder had said about the pain that would come with his training she had called it Indescribable Jonas swallowed hard trying without success to imagine what such pain might be like with no medication at all but it was beyond his comprehension he felt no reaction to rule number seven at all it had never occurred to him that under any circumstances ever he might apply for release finally he stealed himself to read the final rule again he had been trained since earliest childhood since his earliest learning of language never to lie it was an integral part of a learning of precise speech once when he had been a four he had said just prior to the midday meal at school I'm starving immediately he had been taken aside for a brief private lesson in language Precision he was not starving it was pointed out he was hungry no one in the community was starving had ever been starving would ever be starving to say starving was to speak a lie an unintentional lie of course but the reason for precision of language was to ensure that unintentional lies were never uttered did he understand that I asked him and he had he had never within his memory been tempted to lie Asher did not lie Lily did not lie his parents did not lie no one did unless now Jonas had a thought that he had never had before this new thought was frightening what if others adults had upon becoming twelves received in their instructions the same terrifying sentence what if they had all been instructed you may lie his mind reeled now empowered to ask questions of utmost rudeness and promised answers he could conceivably though it was almost unimaginable ask someone some adult his father perhaps do you lie but he would have no way of knowing if the answer he received were true I go in here Jonas Fiona told him when they reached the front door of the House of the old after parking their bicycles in the designated area I don't know why I'm nervous she confessed I've been here so often before she turned her folder over in her hands well everything's different now Jonas reminded her even the name plates on our bikes Fiona laughed during the night the name plate of each new 12 had been removed by the maintenance crew and replaced with a style that indicated Citizen and training I don't want to be late she said hastily and started up the steps if we finish at the same time I'll ride home with you Jonas nodded waved to her and headed around the building toward the annex a small wing attached to the back he certainly didn't want to be late for his first day of training either the annex was very ordinary its door unremarkable he reached for the heavy handle then noticed a buzzer on the wall so he buzzed instead yes the voice came through a small speaker above the buzzer it's uh Jonas I'm the new uh I mean come in a click indicated that the door had been unlatched the lobby was very small and contained only a desk at which a female attendant sat working on some papers she looked up when he entered then to his surprise she stood it was a small thing the standing but no one had ever stood automatically to acknowledge Jonas's presence before welcome receiver of memory she said respectfully oh please he replied uncomfortably call me Jonas she smiled pushed a button and he heard a click that unlocked the door to her left you may go right on in she told him then she she seemed to notice his discomfort and to realize its origin no doors in the community were locked ever none that Jonas knew of anyway the locks are simply to ensure the receiver's privacy because he needs concentration she explained it would be difficult if citizens wandered in looking for the Department of bicycle repair or something Jonas laughed relaxing a little the woman seemed very friendly and it was true in fact it was a joke throughout the community that the department of bicycle repair an unimportant little office was relocated so often that no one ever knew where it was there is nothing dangerous here she told him but she added glancing at the wall clock he doesn't like to be kept waiting Jonas hurried through the door and found himself in a comfortably furnished living area it was not unlike his own family unit's dwelling Furniture was standard throughout the community practical sturdy the function of each piece clearly defined a bed for sleeping a table for eating a desk for studying all of those things were in this spacious room though each was slightly different from those in his own dwelling the Fabrics on the upholstered chairs and sofa were slightly thicker and more luxurious the table legs were not straight like those at home but slender and curved with a small carved decoration at the foot the bed in an Al Cove at the far end of the room was draped with a splendid cloth embroidered over its entire surface with intricate designs but the most conspicuous difference was the books in his own dwelling there were the necessary reference volumes that each household contained a dictionary and the thick Community volume which contained descriptions of every office Factory building and committee and the Book of Rules of course the books in his own dwelling were the only books that Jonas had ever seen he had never known that other books books existed but this room's walls were completely covered by bookcases filled which reached to the ceiling there must have been hundreds perhaps thousands of books their titles embossed in shiny letters Jonas stared at them he couldn't imagine what the thousands of pages contained could there be rules beyond the rules that govern the community could there be more descriptions of offices and factories and committees he had only a second to look around because he was aware that the man sitting in a chair beside the table was watching him hastily he moved forward stood before the man bowed slightly and said I'm Jonas I know welcome receiver of memory Jonas recognized the man he was the Elder who had seemed separate from the others at the ceremony though he was dressed in the same special clothing that only Elders wore Jonas looked self-consciously into the pale eyes that mirit his own sir I apologize for my lack of understanding he waited but the man did not give the standard accepting of apology response after a moment Jonas went on but I thought I mean I think he corrected reminding himself that if Precision of language were ever to be important it was certainly important now in the presence of this man that you are the receiver of memory I'm only well I was only assigned I mean selected yesterday I'm not anything at all not yet the man looked at him thoughtfully silently it was a look that combined interest curiosity concern and perhaps a little sympathy as well finally he spoke beginning today this moment at least to me you are the receiver I I have been the receiver for a long time a very very long time you can see that can't you Jonas nodded the man was wrinkled and his eyes though piercing in their unusual lightness seemed tired the flesh around them was darkened into shadowed circles I can see that you are very old Jonas responded with respect the old were always given the highest respect the man smiled smiled he touched the sagging Flesh on his own face with Amusement I am not actually as old as I look he told Jonas this job has aged me I know I look as if I should be scheduled for release very soon but actually I have a good deal of time left I was pleased though when you were selected it took them a long time the failure of the previous selection was 10 years ago and my energy is starting to diminish I need what strength I have remaining for your training we have hard and painful work to do you and I please sit down he said and gestured toward the nearby chair Jonas lowered himself onto the soft cushioned seat the man closed his eyes and continued speaking when I became a 12 I was selected as you were I was frightened as I'm sure you are he opened his eyes for a moment and peered at Jonas who nodded the eyes closed again I came to this very room to begin my training it was such a long time ago the previous receiver seemed just as old to me as I do to you he was just as tired as I am today he s sat forward suddenly opening his eyes and said you may ask questions I have so little experience in describing this process it is forbidden to talk of it I know sir I have read the instructions Jonas said so I may neglect to make things as clear as I should the man chuckled my job is important and has enormous honor but that does not mean I am perfect and when I tried before to train a successor I failed please ask any questions that will help you in his mind Jonah had questions a thousand a million questions as many questions as there were books lining the walls but he did not ask one not yet the man side seeming to put his thoughts in order then he spoke again simply stated he said although it's not really simple at all my job is to transmit to you all the memories I have Within Me memories of the past sir Jona said tentatively I would be very interested to hear the story of your life and to listen to your memories I I apologize for interrupting he added quickly the man waved his hand impatiently no apologies in this room we haven't time well Jonas went on uncomfortably aware that he might be interrupting again I I am really interested I don't don't mean that I'm not but I don't exactly understand why it's so important I could do some adult job in the community and in my Recreation time I could come and listen to the stories from your childhood I'd like that actually he added I've done that already in the house of the old the old like to tell about their childhoods and it's always fun to listen the man shook his head no oh no he said I'm not being clear it's not my past not my childhood that I must transmit to you he leaned back resting his head against the back of the apostal chair it's the memories of the whole world he said with a sigh before you before me before the previous receiver and generations before him Jonas frowned the whole world he asked I don't understand do you mean not just us not just the community do you mean elsewhere too he tried in his mind to grasp the concept I'm sorry sir I don't understand exactly maybe I'm not smart enough I don't know what you mean when you say the whole world or Generations before him I thought there was only us I thought there was only now there's much more there's all that goes beyond all that is elsewhere and all that goes back and back and back I received all of those when I was selected and here in this room all alone I re-experience them again and again it is how wisdom comes and how we shape our future he rested for a moment breathing deeply I am so weighted with um he said Jonas felt a terrible concern for the man suddenly it's as if the man paused seeming to search his mind for the right words of description it's like going downhill through deep snow on a sled he said finally at first it's exhilarating the speed the sharp clear air but then the snow accumulates builds up on the runners and you slow you have to push hard to keep going and he should shook his head suddenly and peered at Jonas that meant nothing to you did it he asked Jonas was confused I didn't understand it sir of course you didn't you don't know what snow is do you Jonah shook his head or a sled Runners no sir Jonas said downhill that term means nothing to you nothing sir well it's a place to start I've been wondering how to begin move to the bed and lie face down remove your tunic first Jonas did so a little apprehensively beneath his bare chest he felt the soft folds of The Magnificent cloth that covered the bed he watched as the man Rose and moved first to the wall where the speaker was it was was the same sort of speaker that occupied a place in every dwelling but one thing about it was different this one had a switch which the man deafly snapped to the end that said off Jonas almost gasped aloud to have the power to turn the speaker off it was an astonishing thing then the man moved with surprising quickness to the corner the bed was he sat on a chair beside Jonas who was motionless waiting for what would happen next close your eyes relax this will not be painful Jonas remembered that he was allowed that he had even been encouraged to ask questions what are you going to do sir he asked hoping that his voice didn't betray his nervousness I am going to transmit the memory of snow the old man said and placed his hands on Jonas's bare back Jonas felt nothing unusual at first he felt only the light touch of the old man's hands on his back he tried to relax to breathe evenly the room was absolutely silent and for a moment Jonas feared that he might disgrace himself now on the first day of his training by falling asleep then he shivered he realized that the touch of the hands felt suddenly cold at the same instant breathing in he felt the air change and his very breath was cold he licked his lips and in doing so his tongue touched the suddenly chilled air it was very startling but he was not at all frightened now he was filled with energy and he breathed again feeling the sharp intake of frigid air now too he could feel cold air swirling around his entire body he felt it Blow against his hands where they lay at his sides and over his back the touch of the man's hands seemed to have disappeared now he became aware of an entirely New Sensation pin Pricks no because they were soft and without pain tiny cold feather like like feelings peppered his body and face he put out his tongue again and caught one of the dots of a cold upon it it disappeared from his awareness instantly but he caught another and another the sensation made him smile one part of his Consciousness knew that he was still lying there on the bed in the annex room yet another separate part of his being was upright now in a sitting position and beneath him he could feel that he was not on the soft decorated bed covering at all but rather Seated on a flat hard surface his hands now held though at the same time they were still motionless at his side a rough damp rope and he could see though his eyes were closed he could see a bright whing torrent of crystals in the air around him and he could see them gather on the backs of his hands like coold old fur his breath was visible Beyond through the swirl of what he now somehow perceived was the thing the old man had spoken of snow he could look out and down a great distance he was up high someplace the ground was thick with the furry snow but he sat slightly above it on a hard flat object sled he knew abruptly he was sitting on a thing called sled and the sled itself seemed to be poised at the top of a long extended Mound that Rose from the very land where he was even as he thought the word Mound his new Consciousness told him hill then the sled with Jonas himself upon it began to move through the snowfall and he understood instantly that now he was going downhill no voice made an explanation The Experience explained itself to him his face cut through the frigid air as he began The Descent moving through the substance called snow on the vehicle called sled which propelled itself on what he now knew without doubt to be Runners comprehending all of those things as he sped downward he was free to enjoy the breathless Glee that overwhelmed Med him the speed the clear cold air the total silence the feeling of balance and excitement and peace then as the angle of incline lessened as the mound the hill flattened nearing the bottom the sled's forward motion slowed the snow was piled now around it and he pushed with his body moving it forward not wanting the exhilarating ride to end finally the obstruction of the piled snow was too much for the thin Runners of the sled and he came to a stop he sat there for a moment panting holding the rope in his cold hands tentatively he opened his eyes not his snoow Hill sled eyes for they had been opened throughout the strange ride he opened his ordinary eyes and saw that he was still on the bed that he had not moved D at all the old man still beside the bed was watching him how do you feel he asked Jonas sat up and tried to answer honestly surprised he said after a moment the old man wiped his forehead with his sleeve he said it was exhausting but you know even transmitting that tiny memory to you I think it lightened me just a little do you mean you did say I could ask questions the man nodded encouraging his question do you mean that now you don't have the memory of it of that ride on the sled anymore that's right a little weight off this old body but it was such fun and now you don't have it anymore I took it from you but the old man laughed all I gave you was one ride on one sled in one snow on one Hill I have a whole world of them in my memory I could give them to you one by one a thousand times and there would still be more are you saying that I I mean we could do it again Jonas asked I'd really like to I think I could steer by pulling the Rope I didn't try this time because it was so new the old man laughing shook his head said maybe another day for a treat but there's no time really just to play I only wanted to begin by showing you how it works now in swell when one parental pair glowing with pride took a male new child and heard him named Caleb this new Caleb was a replacement child the couple had lost their first Caleb a cheerful little four loss of a child was very very rare the community was extraordinarily safe each citizen watchful and protective of all children but somehow the first little Caleb had wandered away unnoticed and had fallen into the river the entire Community had performed the ceremony of loss together murmuring the name Caleb throughout an entire day less and less frequently softer in volume as the long and somber day went on so that the little four seemed to fade away gradually from everyone's consciousness now at this special naming the community performed the brief murmur of replacement ceremony repeating the name for the first time since the loss softly and slowly at first then faster and with greater volume as the couple stood on the stage with the new child sleeping in the mother's arms it was as if the first Caleb were returning another new child was given the name Roberto and Jonas remembered that Roberto the old had been released only last week but there was no murmur of replacement ceremony for the new little Roberto release was not the same as loss he sat politely through the ceremonies of two and three and four increasingly bored as he was each year then a break for midday meal served outdoors and back again to the seats for the fives sixes sevens and finally last of the first day ceremonies the eights Jonas watched and cheered as Lily marched proudly to the stage became an eight and received the identifying jacket that she would wear this year this one with smaller buttons and for the first time Pockets indicating that she was mature enough now to keep track of her own small belongings she stood solemnly listening to the speech of firm instructions on the responsibilities of eight and doing volunteer hours for the first time but Jonas could see that Lily though she seemed attentive was looking longingly at the row of gleaming bicycles which would be presented tomorrow morning to the nines next year ly Billy Jonas thought it was an exhausting day and even Gabriel retrieved in his basket from the nurturing Center slept soundly that night finally it was the morning of the ceremony of [Music] 12 now father sat beside mother and the audience Jonas could see them applauding dutifully as the nines one by one wield their new bicycles each with its gleaming name tag attached to the back from the stage he knew that his parents cringed a little as he did when Fritz who lived in the dwelling next door to theirs received his bike and almost immediately bumped into the podium with it Fritz was a very awkward child who had been summoned for chastisement again and again his transgressions were small ones always shoes on the wrong feet schoolwork misplaced failure to study adequately for a quiz but each such error reflected negatively on his parents' guidance and infringed on the community sense of order and success Jonas and his family had not been looking forward to Fritz's bicycle which they realized would probably too often be dropped on the front walk instead of wheeled neatly into its Port finally the nines were all resettled in their seats each having wheeled a bicycle outside where it would be waiting for its owner at the end of the day everyone always chuckled and made small jokes when the nines rode home for the first time want me to show you how to ride older friends would call I know you've never been on a bike before but invariably the grinning nines who in technical violation of the rule had been practicing secretly for weeks would Mount and ride off and perfect balance training wheels never touching the ground then the tens Jonas never found the ceremony of 10 particularly interesting only timec consuming as each child's hair was snipped neatly into its distinguished ing cut females lost their braids at 10 and males too relinquished their long childish hair and took on the more manly short style which exposed their ears laborers moved quickly to the stage with brooms and swept away the Mounds of discarded hair Jonas could see the parents of the new T stir and murmur and he knew that this evening in many dwellings they would be snipping and straightening the hastily done haircuts trimming them into a neater line Els it seemed seemed a short time ago that Jonas had undergone the ceremony of 11 but he remembered that it was not one of the more interesting ones by 11 one was only waiting to be 12 it was simply a marking of time with no meaningful changes there was new clothing different undergarments for the females whose bodies were beginning to change and longer trousers for the males with a specially shaped pocket for the small calculator that they would use this year in school but those were simply presented in wrapped packages without an accompanying speech break for midday meal Jonas realized he was hungry he and his groupmates congregated by the tables in front of the auditorium and took their packaged food yesterday they had been mert at lunch a lot of teasing and energy but today the group stood anxiously separate from the other children Jonas watched the new nines gravitate toward their waiting bicycles each one admiring his or her name tag he saw the tens stroking their new shortened hair the females shaking their heads to feel the unac customed likeness without the heavy braids they had worn so long I heard about a guy who was absolutely certain he was going to be a signed engineer Asher muttered as they ate and instead they gave him sanitation laborer he went out the next day jumped into the river swam across and joined the next Community he came to nobody ever saw him again Jonas laughed somebody made that story up Ash he said my father said he heard that story when he was a 12 but Asher wasn't reassured he was eyeing the River where it was visible behind the auditorium I can't even swim very well he said my swimming instructor said that I don't have the right boyishness or something buoyancy Jonas corrected him whatever I don't have it I sink anyway Jonas pointed out have you ever once known of anyone I mean really known for sure Asher not just heard a story about it who joined another community no Asher admitted reluctantly but you can it says so in the rules if you don't fit in you can apply for elsewhere and be released my mother says that once about 10 years ago someone applied and was gone the next day then he chuckled she told me that because I was driving her crazy she threatened to apply for elsewhere she was joking I know but it was true what she said that someone did that once she said that it was really true here today and gone tomorrow never seen again not even a ceremony of release Jonas Shrugged it didn't worry him how could someone not fit in the community was so meticulously ordered the choices so carefully made even the matching of spouses was given such weighty consideration that sometimes an adult who applied to receive a spouse waited months or even years before a match was approved and announced all of the factors disposition energy level intelligence and interest had to correspond and to interact perfectly Jonas's mother for example had higher intelligence than his father but his father had a calmer disposition they balanced each other their match which like all matches had been monitored by the committee of Elders for three years before they could apply for children had always been a successful one like the matching of spouses and the naming and placement of new children the assignments were scrupulously thought through by the committee of Elders he was certain that his assignment whatever it was to be and ashers too would would be the right one for them he only wished that the midday break would conclude that the audience would re-enter the auditorium and the suspense would end as if in answer to his unspoken wish the signal came and the crowd began to move toward the [Music] doors now Jonas's group had taken a new place in the auditorium trading with the new El so that they sat in the very front immediately before the stage they were arranged by their original numbers the numbers they had been given at Birth the numbers were rarely used after the naming but each child knew his number of course sometimes parents use them in irritation at a child's misbehavior indicating that Mischief made one Unworthy of an aim Jonas always chuckled when he heard a parent exasperated call sharply to a whining toddler that's enough 20 23 Jonas was 19 he had been the 19th new child born his year it had meant that at his naming he had been already standing and bright eyed soon to walk and talk it had given him a slight Advantage the first year or two a little more maturity than many of his groupmates who had been born in the later months of that year but it evened out as it always did by three after three the children progressed at much the same level though by their first number one could always tell who was a few months older than others in the group technically Jonas's full number was 1119 since there were other 19s of course in each age group and today now that the new 11s had been Advanced this morning there were two 111 19s at the midday break he had exchanged Smiles with a new one a shy female named Harriet but the duplication was only for these few hours very soon he would not be an 11 but a 12 and age would no longer matter he would be an adult like his parents though a new one and untrained still Asher was four and sat now on the row ahead of Jonas he would receive his assignment fourth Fiona 18 was on his left on his other side sat 20 a male named Pierre whom Jonas didn't like much Pierre was very serious not much fun and a warrior and tattletale too have you checked the rules Jonas Pierre was always Whispering solemly I'm not sure that's within the rules usually it was some foolish thing that no one cared about opening his tunic if it was a day with a breeze taking a brief try on a friend's bicycle just to experience the different feel of it the initial speech at the ceremony of 12 was made by the Chief Elder the leader of the community who was elected every 10 years the speech was much the same each year recollection of the time of childhood and the period of preparation the coming responsibilities of adult life the profound importance of assignment the seriousness of training to come then the Chief Elder moved ahead in Her speech this is the time she began looking directly at them when we acknowledge differences you 11s have spent all your years till now learning to fit in to standardize your behavior to curb any impulse that might set you apart from the group but today we honor your differences they have determined your futures she began to describe this year's group and its variety of personalities though she singled no one out by name she mentioned that there was one who had singular skills at caretaking another Who Loved new children one with unusual scientific aptitude and a fourth for whom physical labor was an obvious pleasure Jonas shifted in his seat trying to recognize each reference as one of his groupmates the caretaking skills were no doubt those of Fiona on his left he remembered noticing the tenderness with which she had bathed the old probably the one with scientific aptitude was Benjamin the male who had devis new important equipment for the rehabilitation center he heard nothing that he recognized as himself Jonas finally the Chief Elder paid tribute to the hard work of her committee which had performed the observation so meticulously all year the committee of Elders stood and was acknowledged by Applause Jonas noticed Asher yawned slightly covering his mouth politely with his hand then at last the Chief Elder called number one to the stage and the assignments began each announcement was lengthy accompanied by a speech directed at the new2 Jonas tried to pay attention as one smiling happily received her assignment as fishh Hatchery attendant along with words of praise for her childhood spent doing many volunteer hours there in her obvious interest in the important process of providing nourishment for the community number one her name was meline returned finally amidst Applause to her seat wearing the new badge that designated her Fish Hatchery attendant Jonas was certainly glad that that assignment was taken he wouldn't have wanted it but he gave meline a smile of congratulation when two a female named Inger received her assignment as birth mother Jonas remembered that his mother had called it a job without honor but he thought that the committee had chosen well iner was a nice girl though somewhat lazy and her body was strong she would enjoy the three years of being pampered that would follow her brief training she would give birth easily and well and the task of laborer that would follow would use her strength keep healthy impose self-discipline Inger was smiling when she resumed her seat birth mother was an important job if lacking in Prestige Jonas noticed that Asher looked nervous he kept turning his head and glancing back at Jonas until the group leader had to give him a silent chastisement a motion to sit still and face forward three Isaac was given an assignment as instructor of sixes which obviously pleased him and was welld deserved now there were three assignments gone on none of them ones that Jonas would have liked not that he could have been a birth mother anyway he realized with Amusement he tried to sort through the list in his mind the possible assignments that remained but there were so many he gave it up and anyway now it was Asher's turn he paid strict attention as his friend went to the stage and Stood self-consciously Beside the Chief Elder all of us in the community know and enjoy Asher the Chief Elder began Asher grinned and scratched one leg with the other foot the audience chuckled softly when the committee began to consider Asher's assignment she went on there were some possibilities that were immediately discarded some that would clearly not have been right for Asher for example she said smiling we did not consider for an instant designating Asher an instructor of Threes the audience howled with laughter Asher laughed too looking sheepish but pleased at the special attention the instructor of Threes were in charge of the acquisition of correct language in fact the Chief Elder continued chuckling a little herself we even gave a little thought to some retroactive chastisement for the one who had been Asher's instructor of Threes so long ago at the meeting where Asher was discussed we retold many of the stories that we all remembered from his days of language acquisition especially she said chuckling the difference between snack and smack remember Asher Asher nodded ruul and the audience laughed aloud Jonas did too he remembered though he had been only a three at the time himself the punishment used for small children was a regulated system of smacks with a discipline wand a thin flexible weapon that stung painfully when it was wielded the Child Care Specialists were trained very carefully in the discipline methods a quick smack across the hands for a bit of minor misbehavior three sharper smacks on the bare legs for a second defense poor Asher who always talked too fast and mixed up words words even as a toddler as a three eager for his juice and crackers at snack time he one day said smack instead of snack as he stood waiting in line for the morning treat Jonas remembered it clearly he could still see little Asher wiggling with impatience in the line he remembered the cheerful voice call out I want my smack the other threes including Jonas had laughed nervously snack they corrected you meant snack Asher but the mistake had been made and precision of language was one of the most important tasks of small children Asher had asked for a smack the disciplined wand in the hand of the child care worker whistled as it came down across Asher's hands Asher whimpered cringed and corrected himself instantly snack he whispered but the next morning he had done it again and again the following week he couldn't seem to stop though for each lapse the discipline wand came again escalating to a series of painful lashes that left marks on Asher's legs eventually for a period of time Asher stopped talking all together when he was a three for a while the Chief Elder said relating the story we had a silent Asher but he learned she turned to him with a smile when he began to talk again it was with greater precision and now his lapses are very few his Corrections and apologies is a very prompt and his good humor is unfailing the audience murmured in agreement Asher's cheerful disposition was well known throughout the community Asher she lifted her voice to make the official announcement we have given you the assignment of assistant director of recreation she clipped on his new badge as he stood beside her beaming then he turned and left the stage as the audience cheered when he had taken his seat again the chief Chief Elder looked down at him and said the words that she had said now four times and would say to each new 12 somehow she gave it special meaning for each of them Asher she said thank you for your childhood the assignments continued and Jonas watched and listened relieved now by the wonderful assignment his best friend had been given but he was more and more apprehensive as his own approached now the new TW in the row head had all received their badges they were fingering them as they sat and Jonas knew that each one was thinking about the training that lay ahead for some one studious male had been selected as Doctor a female as engineer and another for Law and Justice it would be years of hard work and study others like laborers and birth mothers would have a much shorter training period 18 Fiona on his left was called Jonas knew she must be nervous but Fiona was a calm female she had been sitting quietly serenely throughout the ceremony even the Applause though enthusiastic seemed Serene when Fiona was given the important assignment of caretaker of the old it was perfect for such a sensitive gentle girl and her smile was satisfied and pleased when she took her seat beside him again Jonas prepared himself to walk to the stage when the Applause ended and the Chief Elder picked up the next folder and looked down to the group to call forward the next new 12 he was calm now that his turn had come he took a deep breath and smoothed his hair with his hand 20 he heard her voice say clearly Pierre she skipped me Jonas thought stunned had he heard wrong no there was a sudden hush in the crowd and he knew that the entire Community realized that the Chief Elder had moved from 18 to 20 leaving a gap on his right Pierre with a startled look Rose from his seat and moved to the stage a mistake she made a mistake but Jonas knew even as he had the thought that she hadn't the Chief Elder made no mistakes not at the ceremony of 12 he felt dizzy and couldn't focus his attention he didn't hear what assignment Pierre received and was only dimly aware of the Applause as the boy returned wearing his new badge then 21 22 the numbers continued in order Jonas sat dazed as they moved into the 30s and then the 40s nearing the end each time at each announcement his heart jumped for a moment and he thought wild thoughts perhaps now she would call his name could he have forgotten his own number no he had always been 19 he was sitting in the seat mark 19 but she had skipped him he saw the others in his group glance at him embarrassed and then avert their eyes quickly he saw a worried look on the face of his group leader he hunched his shoulders and tried to make himself smaller in the seat he wanted to disappear to fade away not to exist he didn't dare to turn and find his parents in the crowd he couldn't bear to see their faces darkened with shame Jonas bowed his head and searched through his mind what had he done wrong the audience was clearly ill at ease they applauded at the final assignment but the applause was peac meal no longer a crescendo of United enthusiasm there were murmurs of confusion Jonas moved his hands together clapping but it was an automatic meaningless gesture that he wasn't even aware of his mind had shut out all of the earlier emotions the anticipation excitement pride and even the happy kinship with his friends now he felt only humiliation and Terror the Chief Elder waited until the uneasy Applause subsided then she spoke again I know she said in her vibrant gracious voice that you are all concerned that you feel I have made a mistake she smiled the community relieved from its discomfort very slightly by her benign statement seemed to breathe more easily it was very silent Jonas looked up I have caused you anxiety she said I apologized to my community her voice flowed over the assembled crowd we accept your apology they all uttered together Jonas she said looking down at him I apologize to you in particular I caused you anguish I accept your apology Jonas replied shakily please come to the stage now earlier that day dressing in his own dwelling he had practiced the kind of jaunty self assured walk that he hoped he could make to the stage when his turn came all of that was forgotten now he simply willed himself to stand to move his feet that felt weighted and clumsy to go forward up the steps and across the platform until he stood at her side reassuringly she placed her arm across his tense shoulders Jonas has not been assigned she informed the crowd and his heart sank then she went on Jonas has been selected he blinked what did that mean he felt the collective questioning stir from the audience they too were puzzled in a firm commanding voice she announced Jonas has been selected to be our next next receiver of memory then he heard the gasp the sudden intake of breath drawn sharply in astonishment by each of the seated citizens he saw their faces the eyes widened in awe and still he did not understand such a selection is very very rare the Chief Elder told the audience our community has only one receiver it is he who trains his successor we have had our current receiver for a very long long time she went on Jonas followed her eyes and saw that she was looking at one of the elders the committee of Elders was sitting together in a group and the chief Elder's eyes were now on one who sat in the midst but seemed oddly separate from them it was a man Jonas had never noticed before a bearded man with pale eyes he was watching Jonas intently we failed in our last selection the Chief Elder said s solemnly it was 10 years ago when Jonas was just a toddler I will not dwell on the experience because it causes us all terrible discomfort Jonas didn't know what she was referring to but he could sense the discomfort of the audience they shifted uneasily in their seats we have not been Hasty this time she continued we could not afford another failure sometimes she went on speaking now in a lighter tone relaxing the tension in the auditorium we are not entirely certain about the assignments even after the most painstaking observations sometimes we worry that the one assigned might not develop through training every attribute necessary Els are still children after all what we observe as playfulness and patience the requirements to become nurturer could with maturity be revealed as simply foolishness and indolence so we continue to observe during training and to modify behavior when necessary but the receiver in training cannot can be observed cannot be modified that is stated quite clearly in the rules he's to be alone apart while he is prepared by the current receiver for the job which is the most honored in our community alone a part Jonas listened with increasing unease therefore the selection must be sound it must be a unanimous choice of the committee they can have no doubts however fleeting if during the process an elder reports a dream of uncertainty that dream has the power to set a candidate aside instantly Jonas was identified as a possible receiver many years ago we have observed him meticulously there were no dreams of uncertainty he has shown all of the qualities that a receiver must have with her hand still firmly on his shoulder the Chief Elder listed the qualities intelligence she said we are all aware that Jonas has been a top student throughout his school days Integrity she said next Jonas has like all of us committed minor transgressions she smiled at him we expect that we hoped also that he would present himself promptly for chastisement and he has always done so courage she went on only one of us here today has ever undergone the rigorous training required of a receiver he of course is the most important member of the committee the current receiver it was he who reminded us again and again of the courage required Jonas she said turning to him but speaking in a voice that the entire Community could hear the training required of you involves pain physical pain he felt fear flutter within him you have never experienced that yes you have scraped your knees and falls from your bicycle yes you crushed your finger in a door last year Jonas nodded agreeing as he recalled the incident and its accompanying misery but you will be faced now she explained gently with pain of a magnitude that none of us here can comprehend because it is beyond our experience the receiver himself was not able to describe it only to remind us that you would be faced with it that you would need immense courage we cannot prepare you for that but we feel certain that you are brave she said to him he did not feel Brave at all but now the fourth essential attribute the Chief Elder said is wisdom Jonas has not yet acquired that the acquisition of wisdom will come through his training we are convinced that Jonas has the ability to acquire wisdom that is what we looked for finally the rece must have one more quality and it is one which I can only name but not describe I do not understand it you members of the community will not understand it either perhaps Jonas will because the current receiver has told us that Jonas already has this quality he calls it the capacity to see beyond the Chief Elder looked at Jonas with a question in her eyes the audience watched him too they were silent for a moment he froze consumed with despair he didn't have it the whatever she had said he didn't know what it was now was the moment when he would have to confess to say no I don't I can't and throw himself on their Mercy ask their forgiveness to explain that he had been wrongly chosen that he was not the right one at all but when he looked out across the crowd the Sea of Faces the thing happened again the thing that had happened with the Apple [Music] they changed he blinked and it was gone his shoulders straightened slightly briefly he felt a tiny sliver of shess for the first time she was still watching him they all were I think it's true he told the Chief Elder in the community I don't understand it yet I don't know what it is but sometimes I see something and maybe it's beyond she took her arm from his shoulders Jonas she said speaking not to him alone but to the entire community of which he was a part you will be trained to be our next receiver of memory we thank you for your childhood then she turned and left the stage left him there alone standing in facing the crowd which began spontaneously the collective murmur of his name Jonas it was a whisper at first hushed barely audible Jonas Jonas then louder faster Jonas Jonas Jonas with the chant Jonas knew the community was accepting him and his new role giving him life the way they had given it to the new child Caleb his heart swelled with gratitude and pride but at the same time he was filled with fear he said turning businesslike lie back down I want to Jonas did he was eager for whatever experience would come next but he had suddenly so many questions why don't we have snow and sleds and Hills he asked and when did we in the past did my parents have sleds when they were young did you the old man Shrugged and gave a short laugh no he told Joon it's a very distant memory that's why it was so exhausting I had to tug It Forward from many generations back it was given to me when I was a new receiver and the previous receiver had to pull it through a long time period too but what happened to those things snow and the rest of it climate control snow made growing food difficult limited the agricultural periods and unpredictable weather made Transportation almost impossible at times it wasn't a practical thing so it became obsolete when we went to samess and Hills too he added they made conveyance of goods unwieldy trucks buses slowed them down so he waved his hand as if a gesture had caused Hills to disappear sameness he concluded Jonas frowned I wish we had those things still just now and then the old man smiled so do I he said but that choice is not ours but sir Jonas suggested since you have so much power the man corrected him honor he said firmly I have great honor so will you but you will find that that is not the same as power likewise L now since we've entered into the topic of climate let me give you something else and this time I'm not going to tell you the name of it because I want to test the receiving you should be able to perceive the name without being told I gave away snow and sled and downhill and Runners by telling them to you in advance without being instructed Jonas closed his eyes again he felt the hands on his back again he waited now it came more quickly to feelings this time the hands didn't become cold but instead began to feel warm on his body they moistened a little the warmth spread extending across his shoulders up his neck onto the side of his face he could feel it through his clothed Parts too a pleasant all over sensation and when he licked his lips this time the air was hot and heavy he didn't move there was no sled his posture didn't change he was simply alone someplace Out of Doors lying down and the warmth came from far above it was not as exciting as the ride through the snowy air but it was pleasurable and comforting suddenly he perceived the word for it sunshine he perceived that it came from the sky then it ended Sunshine he said aloud opening his eyes good you did get the word ah that makes my job easier not so much explaining and it came from the sky that's right the old man said just the way it used to before sameness before climate control Jonas added the man laughed you receive well and learn quickly I'm very pleased with you that's enough for today I think we're off to a good start there was a question bothering Jonas sir he said the Chief Elder told me she told everyone and you told me too that it would be painful so I was a little scared but it didn't hurt at all I really enjoyed it he looked quizzically at the old man the man sigh I started you with memories of pleasure my previous failure gave me the wisdom to do that he took a few deep breaths Jonas he said it will be painful but it need not be painful yet I'm brave I really am Jonah sat up a little straighter the old man looked at him for a moment he smiled I can see that he said well since you asked the question I think I have enough energy for one more transmission lie down once more this will be the last today Jonas obeyed cheerfully he closed his eyes waiting and felt the hands again then he felt the warmth again the sunshine again coming from the sky of this other Consciousness that was so new to him this time as he lay basking in the wonderful warmth he felt the passage of time his real self was aware that it was only a minute or two but his other memory receiving self felt our pass in the sun his skin began to sting restlessly he moved one arm bending it and felt a sharp pain in the crease of his inner arm at the elbow ouch he said loudly and shifted on the bed ow he said wincing at the shift and even moving his mouth to speak made his face hurt he knew there was a word but the pain kept him from grasping it then it ended he opened his eyes wincing with discomfort it hurt he told the man and I couldn't get the word for it it was sunburn the old man told him it hurt a lot Jonas said but I'm glad you gave it to me it was interesting and now I understand better what it meant that there would be pain the man didn't respond he sat silently for a second finally he said get up now it's time for you to go home they both walked to the center of the room Jonas put his tunic back back on goodbye sir he said thank you for my first day the old man nodded to him he looked drained and a little sad sir Jonas said shyly yes do you have a question it's just that I don't know your name I thought you were the receiver but you say that now I'm the receiver so I don't know what to call you the man had sat back down in a comfortable upholstered chair he moved his shoulders around as if to ease away an aching sensation he seemed terribly weary call me The Giver he told Jonas you slept soundly Jonas his mother asked at the morning meal no dreams Jonah simply smiled and nodded not ready to lie not willing to tell the truth I slept very soundly he said I wish this one would his father said leaning down from his chair to touch Gabriel's waving fist the basket was on the floor beside him in its Corner beside Gabriel's head the stuffed hippo sat staring with its blank eyes so do I mother said rolling her eyes he's so fretful at night Jonas had not heard the new child during the night because as always he had slept soundly but it was not true that he had no dreams again and again as he slapped he had slid down that snow covered Hill always in the dream it seemed as if there were a destination a something he could not grasp what that lay beyond the place where the thickness of snow brought the sled to a stop he was left upon Awakening with a feeling that he wanted even somehow needed to reach the something that waited in the distance the feeling that it was good that it was welcoming that it was significant but he did not know how to get there he tried to shed the leftover dream Gathering his schoolwork and preparing for the day school seemed a little different today the classes were the same language and Communications Commerce and Industry Science and Technology civil procedures and government but during the breaks for recreation periods in the midday meal the other new tws were a buzz with descriptions of their first day of training all of them talked at once interrupting each other hastily making the required apology for interrupting then forgetting again in the excitement of describing the new experiences Jonas listen he was very aware of his own admonition not to discuss his training but it would have been impossible anyway there was no way to describe to his friends what he had experienced there in the annex room how could you describe a sled without describing a hill and snow and how could you describe a hill and snow to someone who had never felt height or wind or that feathery magical cold even trained for years as they all had been in Precision of language what words could you use which would give another the experience of sunshine so it was easy for Jonas to be still and to listen after school hours he rode again beside Fiona to the house of the old I looked for you yesterday she told him so we could ride home together your bike was still there and I waited for a little while but it was getting late so I went on home I apologize for making you wait Jonas said I accept your apology she replied automatically I stayed a little longer than I expected Ed Jonas explained she pedal forward silently and he knew that she expected him to tell her why she expected him to describe his first day of training but to ask would have fallen into the category of rudeness you've been doing so many volunteer hours with the old Jonah said changing the subject there won't be much that you don't already know oh there's lots to learn Fiona replied there's administrative work and the dietary rules and punishment for Disobedience did you know that they use a discipline wand on the old the same as for small children and his occupational therapy and recreational activities and medications and they reached the building and break their bikes I really think I like it better than School Fiona confessed me too Jonas agreed Wheeling his bike into its place she waited for a second as if again she expected him to go on then she looked at her watch waved and hurried toward the entrance Jonas stood for a moment beside his bike startled it had happened again the thing that he thought of now is seeing Beyond this time it had been Fiona who had undergone that fleeting Indescribable change as he looked up and toward her going through the door it happened she changed actually Jonah thought trying to recreate it in his mind it wasn't Fiona in her entirety it seemed to be just her hair and just for that flickering instant he ran through it in his mind it was clearly beginning to happen more often first the Apple a few weeks before the next time had been the faces in the audience at the auditorium just two days ago now today Fiona's hair frowning Jonas walked toward the annex I will ask the giver he decided the old man looked up smiling when Jonas entered the room he was already seated beside the bed and he seemed more energetic today slightly renewed and glad to see Jonas welcome he said we must get started you're 1 minute late I apologize Jonas began and then stopped flustered remembering there were to be no apologies he removed his tunic and went to the bed I'm 1 minute late because something happened he explained and I'd like to ask you about it if you don't mind you may ask me anything Jonas tried to sort it out in his mind so that he could explain it clearly I think it's what you call call seeing Beyond he said The Giver nodded describe it he said Jonas told him about the experience with the apple and then the moment on the stage when he had looked out and seen the same phenomenon in the faces of the crowd then today just now outside it happened with my friend Fiona she herself didn't change exactly but something about her changed for a second her hair looked different but not in its shape not in its length I can't quite Jonas paused frustrated by his inability to grasp and describe exactly what had occurred finally he simply said it changed I don't know how or why that's why I was 1 minute late he concluded and looked questioningly at the giver to his surprise the old man asked him a question which seemed unrelated to the seeing Beyond when I gave you the memory yesterday the first one the ride on the sled did you look around Jonas nodded yes he said but the stuff I mean the snow in the air made it hard to see anything did you look at the sled Jonas s back no I only felt it under me I dreamed of it last night too but I don't remember seeing the sled in my dream either just feeling it The Giver seemed to be thinking when I was observing you before the selection I perceived that you probably had the capacity and what you describe confirms that it happened somewhat differently to me The Giver told him when I was just your age about to become the new receiver I began to experience it though it took a different form with me it was well I won't describe that now you wouldn't understand it yet but I think I can guess how it's happening with you that let me just make a little test to confirm my guess lie down Jonas lay on the bed again with his hands at his sides he felt comfortable here now he closed his eyes and waited for the familiar feel of the giver's hands on his back but it didn't come Instead The Giver instructed him call back the memory of the ride on the sled just the beginning of it where you're at the top of the hill before the slide starts and this time look down at the sled Jonas was puzzled he opened his eyes excuse me he asked politely but don't you have to give me the memory it's your memory now it's not mine to experience any longer I gave it away but how can I call it back you can remember last year or the year that you were a seven or a five can't you of course it's much the same everyone in the community has one generation memories like those but now you will be able to go back farther try just concentrate Jonas closed his eyes again he took a deep breath and sought the sled and the hill and the snow in his Consciousness there they were with no effort he was again sitting in that whirling world of snowflakes at top of the hill Jonas grin with delight and blew his own steamy breath into view then as he had been instructed he looked down he saw his own hands furred again with snow holding the Rope he saw his legs and moved them aside for a glimpse of the sled beneath dumbfounded he stared at it this time it was not a fleeting impression this time the sled had and continued to have as he blinked and stared at it again that same mysterious quality that the Apple had had had so briefly and Fiona's hair the sled did not change it simply was whatever the thing was Jonas opened his eyes and was still on the bed The Giver was watching him furiously yes Jonah said slowly I saw it in the sled let me try one more thing look over there to the bookcase do you see the very top row of books the ones behind the table on the top shelf Jonas sought them with his eyes he stared at them and they changed but the change was fleeting it slipped away the next instant it happened Jonah said it happened to the books but it went away again I'm right then the giver said you're beginning to see the color red the what the giver sighed how to explain this once back in the time of the memories everything had a shape and size the way things still do but they also had a quality called color there were a lot of colors and one of them was called red that's the one you are starting to see your friend Fiona has red hair quite distinctive actually I've noticed before when you mentioned Fiona's hair it was the clue that told me you were probably beginning to see the color red and the faces of people the ones I saw at the ceremony The Giver shook his head no flesh isn't red but it has red tones in it there was a time actually you'll see this in the memories later when flesh was many different colors that was before we went to sameness today flesh is all the same and what you saw was the red tone probably when you saw the faces take on color it wasn't as deep or vibrant as the apple or your friend's hair The Giver chuckled suddenly we've never completely mastered sameness I suppose the genetic scientists are still hard at work trying to work The Kinks out hair like Fiona must drive them crazy Jonas listened trying hard to comprehend and the sled he said it had that same thing the color red but it didn't change Giver it just was because it's a memory from the time when color was it was so oh I wish language were more precise the red was so beautiful The Giver nodded it is do you see it all the time I see all of them all the colors will I of course when you receive the memories you have the capacity to see beyond you'll gain wisdom then along with colors and lots more Jonas wasn't interested just then in wisdom it was the colors that fascinated him why can't everyone see them why did colors disappear The Giver Shrugged our people made that choice the choice to go to sameness before my time before the previous time back and back and back we relinquished color when we relinquished sunshine and did away with differences he thought for a moment we gained control of many things but we had to let go of others we shouldn't have Jonas said fiercely The Giver looked startled at the certainty of Jonas's reaction then he smiled Riley you've come very quickly to that conclusion he said it took me many years maybe your wisdom will come much more quickly than mine he glanced at the wall clock lie back down now we have so much to do Giver Jonas asked as he arranged himself again on the bed how did it happen to you when you were becoming the receiver you said that the seeing Beyond happened to you but not the same way the hands came to his back another day The Giver said gently I'll tell you another day now we must work and I've thought of a way to help you with the concept of color close your eyes and be still now I'm going to give you a memory of a rainbow days went by and weeks Jonas learned through the memories the names of colors and now he began to see them all in his ordinary life though he knew it was ordinary no longer and would never be again but they didn't last there would be a glimpse of green the landscaped lawn around the Central Plaza a bush on the riverbank the bright orange of pumpkins being trucked in from the agricultural Fields beyond the community boundary seen in an instant the flash of brilliant color but gone again returning to their flat and hueless shade The Giver told him that it would be a very long time before he had the colors to keep but I want them Jonas said angrily it isn't fair that nothing has color not fair The Giver looked at Jonas curiously explain what you mean well Jonas had to stop and think it through if everything's the same then there aren't any choices I want to wake up in the morning and decide things a blue tunic or a red one he looked down at himself at the colorless fabric of his clothing but it's all the same always then he laughed a little I know it's not important what you wear it doesn't matter but it's the choosing that's important isn't it the giver asked him Jonas nodded my little brother he began and then corrected himself no that's inaccurate he's not my brother not really but this new child that my family takes care of his name's Gabriel yes I know about Gabriel well he's right at the age where he's learning so much he grabs toys when we hold them in front of him my father says he's learning small muscle control and he's really cute The Giver nodded but now that I can see colors at least sometimes I was just thinking what if we could hold up things that were bright red or bright yellow and he could choose instead of the sameness he might make wrong choices oh Jonas was silent for a minute oh I see what you mean it wouldn't matter for a new child's toy but later it does matter doesn't it we don't dare to let people make choices of their own not safe The Giver suggested definitely not safe Jonah said with certainty what if they were allowed to choose their own mate and chose wrong or what if he went on almost laughing at the absurdity they chose their own jobs frightening isn't it The Giver said Jonas chuckled very frightening I can't even imagine it we really have to protect people from wrong choices it's safer yes Jonas agreed much safer but when the conversation turned to other things Jonas was left still with a feeling of frustration that he didn't understand he found that he was often angry now irrationally angry at his groupmates that they were satisfied with their lives which had none of the Vibrance his own was taking on and he was angry at himself that he could not change that for them he tried without asking permission from The Giver because he feared or knew that it would be denied he tried to give his new awareness to his friends Asher Jonah said one morning look at those flowers very carefully they were standing beside a bed of geraniums planted near the Hall of open records he put his hands on Asher's shoulders and concentrated on the red of the petals trying to hold it as long as he could and trying at the same time to transmit the awareness of red to his friend what's the matter Asher asked uneasily is something wrong he moved away from Jonas's hands it was extremely rude for one citizen to touch another outside of family units no nothing I thought for a minute that they were wilting and we should let the gardening crew know they needed more watering Jonah sighed and turned away one evening he came home from his training waited with new knowledge The Giver had chosen a startling and disturbing memory that day under the touch of his hands Jonas had found himself suddenly in a place that was completely alien hot and wind swept under a vast Blue Sky there were toughs of sparse grass a few bushes and rocks and nearby he could see an area of thicker vegetation broad low trees outlined against the sky he could hear noises the sharp crack of weapons he perceived the word guns and then shouts and an immense crashing thud as something fell tearing branches from the trees he heard voices calling to one another peering from the place where he stood hidden behind some Shrubbery he was reminded of what the giver had told him that there had been a time when flesh had different colors two of these men had dark brown skin the others were light going closer he watched them hack the tusks from a motionless elephant on the ground and haul them away spattered with blood he felt himself overwhelmed with a new perception of the color he knew as red then the men were gone speeding toward the Horizon in a vehicle that spit Pebbles from its whirling tires one hit his forehead and stung him there but the memory continued though Jonas achd now for it to end now he saw another elephant emerge from the place where it had stood hidden in the trees very slowly it walked to the mutilated body and looked down with its sinuous trunk it stroked the huge corpse then it reached up broke some leafy branches with a snap and draped them over the mass of torn thick flesh finally it tilted its mass massive head raised its trunk and roared into the empty landscape Jonas had never heard such a sound it was a sound of rage and grief and it seemed never to end he could still hear it when he opened his eyes and lay anguished on the bed where he received the memories it continued to Roar into his Consciousness as he pedal slowly home Lily he asked that evening when his sister took her Comfort object the stuffed elephant from the Shelf did you know that once there really were elephants live ones she glanced down at the Ragged Comfort object and grinned right she said skeptically sure Jonas Jonas went and sat beside them while his father untied Lily's hair ribbons and combed her hair he placed one hand on each of their shoulders with all of his being he tried to give each of them a piece of the memory not of the tortured Cry of the elephant but of the being of the elephant of the Towering immense creature and the meticulous touch with which it had tended its friend at the end but his father had continued to comb Lily's long hair and Lily impatient had finally wiggled under her brother's touch Jonas she said you're hurting me with your hand I apologize for hurting you Lily Jonas mumbled and took his hand away accept your apology Lily responded indifferently stroking the lifeless elephant Giver Jonas asked once as they prepared for the day's work don't you have a spouse aren't you allowed to apply for one although he was Exempted from the rules against rudeness he was aware that this was a rude question but the giver had encouraged all of his questions not seeming to be embarrassed or offended by even the most personal The Giver chuckled no there's no rule against it and I did have a spouse you're forgetting how old I am Jonas my former spouse now lives with the childless adults oh of course Jonas had forgotten the giver's obvious age when adults of the community became older their lives became different they were no longer needed to create family units Jonas's own parents when he and Lily were grown would go to live with the childless adults you'll be able to apply for a spouse Jonas if you want to I'll warn you though that it will be difficult your living arrangements will have to be different from those of most family units because the books are forbidden to Citizens you and I are the only ones with access to the books Jonas glanced around at the astonishing array of volumes from time to time now he could see their colors with their hours together his and the givers consumed by conversation and by the transmission of memories Jonas had not yet opened any of the books but he read the titles here and there and knew that they contained all of the knowledge of centuries and that one day they would belong to him so if I have a spouse and maybe children I will have to hide the books from them The Giver nodded I wasn't permitted to share the books with my spouse that's correct and there are other difficulties too you remember the rule that says the new receiver can't talk about his training Jonas nodded of course he remembered it had turned out by far to be the most frustrating of the rules he was required to obey when you become the official receiver when we're finished here you'll be given a whole new set of rules those are the rules that I obey and it won't surprise you that I am forbidden to talk about my work to anyone except a new receiver that's you of course so there will be a whole part of your life which you won't be able to share with a family it's hard Jonas it was hard for me you do understand don't you that this is my life life the memories Jonas nodded again but he was puzzled didn't life consist of the things you did each day there wasn't anything else really I've seen you taking walks he said The Giver side I walk I eat at meal time and when I am called by the committee of Elders I appear before them to give them counsel and advice do you advise them often Bantam double day Dell audio publishing presents The Giver by Lois [Music] Lowry it was almost December and Jonas was beginning to be frightened no wrong word Jonas thought frightened meant that deep sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen frightened was the way he had felt a year ago when an unidentified aircraft had overflown the community twice he had seen it both times squinting toward the sky he had seen the Sleek jet almost a blur at its high speed go past and a second later heard the blast of sound that followed then one more time a moment later from the opposite direction the same plane at first he had been only fascinated he had never seen aircraft so close for it was against the rules for Pilots to fly over the community occasionally when supplies were delivered by cargo planes to The Landing field across the river the children rode their bicycles to the river bank and watched intrigued the unloading and then the takeoff directed to the West always away from the community but the aircraft a year ago had been different it was not a squat fat-bellied cargo plane but a needle-nosed single pilot jet Jonas looking around anxiously had seen others adults as well as children stop what they were doing and wait confused for an explanation of the frightening event then all of the citizens had been ordered to go into the nearest building and stay there immediately The rasping Voice through the speakers had said leave your bicycles where they are instantly obediently Jonas had dropped his bike on its side on the path behind his family's dwelling he had run indoors and stayed there alone his parents were both at work and his little sister Lily was at the child care center where she spent her Afterschool hours looking through the front window he had seen no people none of the busy afternoon crew of street cleaners landscape workers and food delivery people who usually populated the community at that time of day he saw only the abandoned bikes here and there on their sides an upturned wheel on one was still revolving slowly he had been frightened then the sense of his own Community silent waiting had made his stomach churn he had trembled but it had been nothing within minutes the speakers had crackled again and the voice reassuring now and less urgent had explained that a pilot in training had misread his navigational instructions and made a wrong turn desperately the pilot had been trying to make his way back before his error was noticed needless to say he will be released The Voice had said followed by silence there was an ironic tone to that final message as if the speaker found it amusing and Jonas had smiled a little though he knew what a grim statement it had been for a contributing citizen to be released from the community was a final decision a terrible punishment an overwhelming statement of failure even the children were scolded if they use the term lightly at play jeering at a teammate who missed a cat or stumbled in a race Jonas had done it once had shouted at his best friend that's it Asher you're released when Asher's clumsy era had lost a match for his team he had been taken aside for a brief and serious talk by the coach had hung his head with guilt and embarrassment and apologized to Asher after the game now thinking about the feeling of fear as he pedal home along the river path he remembered that moment of palpable stomach sinking Terror when the aircraft had streaked above it was not what he was feeling now with December approaching he searched for the right word to describe his own feeling Jonas was careful about language not like his friend Asher who talked too fast and mixed things up scrambling words and phrases until they were barely recognizable and often very funny Jonas grinned remembering the morning that Asher had dashed into the classroom l late as usual arriving breathlessly in the middle of the chanting of the morning anthem when the class took their seats at the conclusion of the Patriotic hym Asher remained standing to make his public apology as was required I apologize for inconveniencing my learning community Asher ran through the standard apology phrase rapidly still catching his breath the instructor in class waited patiently for his explanation the students had all been grinning because they had listened to Asher's explanation so how many times before I left home at the correct time but when I was riding along near the Hatchery the crew was separating some salmon I guess I just got distraught watching them I apologize to my classmates Asher concluded he smoothed his rumpled tunic and sat down we accept your apology Asher the class recited the standard response in unison many of the students were biting their lips to keep from laughing I accept your apology Asher the instructor said he was smiling and I thank you because once again you have provided an opportunity for a lesson in language distraught is too strong an adjective to describe salmon viewing he turned and wrote distraught on the instructional board beside it he wrote distracted Jonas nearing his home now smiled at the recollection thinking still as he wheeled his bike into its narrow Port beside the door he realized that frightened was the wrong word to describe his feelings now that December was almost here it was too strong an adjective he had waited a long time for this special December now that it was almost upon him he wasn't frightened but he was eager he decided he was eager for it to come and he was excited certainly all of the Els were excited about the event that would be coming so soon but there was a little shudder of nervousness when he thought about it about what might happen apprehension ensive Jonas decided that's what I am who wants to be the first tonight for feelings Jonas's father asked at the conclusion of their evening meal it was one of the rituals the evening telling of feelings sometimes Jonas and his sister Lily argued over turns over who would get to go first their parents of course were part of the ritual they too told their feelings each evening but like all parents all adults they didn't fight and Weedle for their turn nor did Jonas tonight his feelings were too complicated this evening he wanted to share them but he wasn't eager to begin the process of sifting through his own complicated emotions even with the help that he knew his parents could give you go Lily he said seeing his sister who was much younger only a seven wiggling with impatience in her chair I felt very angry this afternoon Lily announced my child Care Group was at the play area and we had a visiting group of sant and they didn't obey the rules at all one of them a male I don't know his name kept going right to the front of the line for the slide even though the rest of us were all waiting I felt so angry at him I made my hand into a fist like this she held up a clenched Fist and the rest of the family smiled at her small defiant gesture why do you think the visitors didn't obey the rules mother asked Lily considered and shook her head I don't know they acted like like animals Jonas suggested he laughed that's right Lily said laughing too like animals neither child knew what that word meant exactly but it was often used to describe someone uneducated or clumsy someone who didn't fit in where were the visitors from father asked Lily frowned trying to remember our leader told us when he made the welcome speech but I can't remember I guess I wasn't paying attention it was from another Community they had to leave very early and they had their midday meal On The Bus Mother nodded do you think it's possible that their rules may be different and so they simply didn't know what your play area rules were Lily Shrugged and nodded I suppose you visited other communities haven't you Jonas asked my group has often Lily nodded again when we were sixes we went and shared a whole day with a group of sixes their Community how did you feel when you were there Lily frowned I felt strange because their methods were different they were learning usages that my group hadn't learned yet so we felt stupid father was listening with interest I'm thinking Lily he said about the boy who didn't obey the rules today do you think it's possible that he felt strange and stupid being in a new place with rules that he didn't know about Lily pondered that yes she said finally I feel a little sorry for him Jonas said even though I don't even know him I feel sorry for anyone who was in a place where he feels strange and stupid how do you feel now Lily father asked still angry I guess not Lily decided I guess I feel a little sorry for him and sorry I made a fist she grinned Jonas smiled back at his sister Lily's feelings were always straightforward fairly simple usually easy to resolve he guessed that his own had been too when he was a seven he listened politely though not very attentively while his father took his turn describing a feeling of worry that he'd had that day at work a concern about one of the new children who wasn't doing well Jonas's father's title was nurturer he and the other nurturers were responsible for all the physical and emotional needs of every new child during its earliest life it was a very important job Jonas knew but it wasn't one that interested him much what gender is it Lily asked male father said he's a sweet little male with a lovely disposition but he isn't growing as fast as he should and he doesn't sleep soundly we have him in the extra care section for supplementary nurturing but the committee is beginning to talk about releasing him oh no mother murmured sympathetically I know how sad that must make you feel Jonas and Lily both nodded sympathetically as well release of new children was always sad because they hadn't had a chance to enjoy life within the community yet and they hadn't done anything wrong there were only two occasions of release which were not punishment release of the elderly which was a time of celebration for a life well and fully lived and release of a new child which always brought a sense of what could we have done this was especially troubling for the nurturers like father who felt they had failed somehow but it happened very rarely well father said I'm going to keep trying I may ask the committee for permission to bring him here at night if you don't mind you know what the night crew nurturers alike I think this little guy needs something extra of course mother said and Jonas and Lily nodded they had heard father complain about the night crew before it was a lesser job night crew nurturing a to those who lack the interest or skills or insight for the more vital jobs of the daytime hours most of the people on the night crew had not even been given spouses because they lacked somehow the essential capacity to connect to others which was required for the creation of the family unit maybe we could even keep him Lily suggested sweetly trying to look innocent the look was fake Jonas knew they all knew Lily mother reminded her smiling you know the rules two children one male one female to each family unit It Was Written very clearly in the rules Lily giggled well she said I thought maybe just this once next mother who held a prominent position at the Department of Justice talked about her feelings today a repeat offender had been brought before her someone who had broken the rules before someone who she hoped had been adequately and fairly punished and who had been restored to his place place to his job to his home his family unit to see him brought before her a second time caused her overwhelming feelings of frustration and anger and even guilt that she hadn't made a difference in his life I feel frightened too for him she confessed you know that there's no third chance the rules say that if there's a third transgression he simply has to be released Jonas shivered he knew it happened there was even a a boy in his group of Els whose father had been released years before no one ever mentioned it the disgrace was unspeakable it was hard to imagine Lily stood up and went to her mother she stroked her mother's arm from his place at the table father reached over and took her hand Jonas reached for the other one by one they comforted her soon she smiled thanked them and murmured that she felt soothed the ritual continued Jonas father asked you're last tonight Jonas sighed this evening he almost would have preferred to keep his feelings hidden but it was of course against the rules I'm feeling apprehensive he confessed glad that the appropriate descriptive word had finally come to him why is that son his father looked concerned I know there's really nothing to worry about Jonas explained and that every adult has been through it I know you have father and you too mother but it's the ceremony that I'm apprehensive about it's almost December Lily looked up her eyes wide the ceremony of 12 she whispered in an odd voice even the smallest children Lily's age and younger knew that it lay in the future for each of them I'm glad you told us of your feelings father said Lily mother said beckoning to the little girl go on now and get into your night clothes father and I are going to stay here and talk to Jonas for a while Lily sighed but obediently she got down from her chair privately she asked mother nodded yes she said this talk will be a private one with Jonas Jonas watched as his father poured a fresh cup of coffee he waited you know his father finally said every December was exciting to me when I was young and it has been for you and Lily too I'm sure each December brings such changes Jonas nodded he could remember the Decembers back to when he had become well probably a four the earlier ones were lost to him but he observed them each year and he remembered Lily's earliest Decembers he remembered when his family received Lily the day she was named the day that she had become a one the ceremony for the ones was always noisy and fun each December all the new children born in the previous year turned one one at a time time there were always 50 in each Year's group if none had been released they had been brought to the stage by The nurturers Who had cared for them since birth some were already walking wobbly on their unsteady legs others were no more than a few days old wrapped in blankets held by their nurturers I enjoy the naming Jonas said his mother agreed smiling the year we got Lily we knew of course that we'd receive our female because we'd made our application and been approved but I'd been wondering and wondering what her name would be I could have sneaked a look at the list prior to the ceremony father confided the committee always makes the list in advance and it's right there in the office at the nurturing Center as a matter of fact he went on I feel a little guilty about this but I did go in this afternoon and look to see if this year's naming list had been made yet it was right there in the office and I looked up number 36 that's the little guy I've been concerned about because it occurred to me that it might enhance his nurtur if I could call him by a name just privately of course when no one else is around did you find it Jonas asked he was fascinated it didn't seem a terribly important rule but the fact that his father had broken a rule at all AED him he glanced at his mother the one responsible for adherence to the rules and was relieved that she was smiling his father nodded his name if he makes it to the naming without being released of course is to be Gabriel so I whisper that to him when I feed him every 4 hours and during exercise and playtime if no one can hear me I call him Gabe actually he said and grinned Gabe Jonas tried it out a good name he decided though Jonas had only become a five the year that they acquired Lily and learned her name he remembered the excitement the conversations at home wondering about her how she would look who she would be how she would fit into their established family unit he remembered climbing the steps to the stage with his parents his father by his side that year instead of with the nurturers since it was the year that he would be given a new child of his own he remembered his mother taking the new child his sister into her arms while the document was read to the assembled family units new child 23 the nameer had read Lily he remembered his father's look of delight and that his father had whispered she's one of my favorites I was hoping for her to be the one the crowd had clapped and Jonas had grinned he liked his sister's name Lily barely awake had waved her small fist then they had stepped down to make room for the next family unit when I was an 11 his father said now as you are Jonas I was very impatient waiting for the ceremony of 12 it's a long two days I remember that I enjoyed the ones as I always do but that I didn't pay much attention to to the other ceremonies except for my sister's she became a nine that year and got her bicycle had been teaching her to ride mine even though technically I wasn't supposed to Jonas laughed it was one of the few rules that was not taken very seriously and was almost always broken the children all received their bicycles at 9: they were not allowed to ride bicycles before then but almost always the older brothers and sisters had secretly taught the younger ones Jonas had been thinking already about teaching Lily there was talk about changing the rule in giving the bicycles at an earlier age a committee was studying the idea when something went to a committee for study the people always joked about it they said that the committee members would become Elders by the time the rule change was made rules were very hard to change sometimes if it was a very important rule unlike the one governing the age for bicycles it would have to go eventually to the receiver for a decision the receiver was the most important Elder Jonas had never even seen him that he knew of someone in a position of such importance lived and worked alone but the committee would never bother the receiver with a question about bicycles they would simply fret and argue about it themselves for years until the citizens forgot that it had ever gone to them for study his father continued so I watched and cheered when my sister katata became a nine and removed her hair ribbons and got her bicycle father went on then I didn't pay much attention to the T and 11s and finally at the end of the second day which seemed to go on forever it was my turn it was the ceremony of 12 Jonah shivered he pictured his father who must have been a shy and quiet boy for he was a shy and quiet man seated with his group waiting to be called to the stage the ceremony of 12 was the last of the ceremonies the most important I remember how proud my parents looked and my sister too even though she wanted to be out riding the bicycle publicly she stopped fidgeting and was very still and attentive when my turn came but to be honest Jonas his father said for me there was not the element of suspense that there is with your ceremony because I was already fairly certain of what my assignment was to be Jonas was surprised there was no way really to know in advance it was a secret selection made by the leaders of the community the committee of Elders who took the responsibility so seriously that there were never even any jokes made about assignments his mother seemed surprised too how could you have known she asked his father smiled his gentle smile well it was clear to me and my parents later confessed that it had been obvious to them too what my aptitude was I had always loved the new children more than anything when my friends in my age group were holding bicycle races or building toy vehicles or Bridges with their construction sets or all the things I do with my friends Jonas pointed out and his mother nodded in agreement I always participated of course because as children we must expect expence all of those things and I studied hard in school as you do Jonas but again and again during free time I found myself drawn to the new children I spent almost all of my volunteer hours helping in the nurturing Center of course the elders knew that from their observation Jonas nodded during the past year he had been aware of the increasing level of observation in school at Recreation time and during volunteer hours he had noticed the elders watching him and the other 11s he had seen them taking notes he knew too that the elders were meeting for long hours with all of the instructors that he and the other Els had had during their years of school so I expected it and I was pleased but not at all surprised when my assignment was announced as nurturer father explained did everyone applaud even though they weren't surprised Jonas asked oh of course they were very happy for me that my assignment was what I wanted most I felt very fortunate his father smiled were any of the 11 disappointed your year Jonas asked unlike his father he had no idea what his assignment would be but he knew that some would disappoint him though he respected his father's work nurturer would not be his wish and he didn't Envy laborers at all his father thought no I don't think so of course the elders are so careful in their observations and selections I think it's probably the most important job in our community his mother commented my friend yoshiko was was surprised by her selection as Doctor father said but she was thrilled and let's see there was Andre I remember that when we were boys he never wanted to do physical things he spent all the recreation time he could with his construction set and his volunteer hours Were Always On Building sites the elders knew that of course Andre was given the assignment of engineer and he was delighted Andre later designed the bridge that crosses the river to the west of town Jonas's mother said wasn't there when we were children there are very rarely disappointments Jonas I don't think you need to worry about that his father reassured him and if there are you know there's an appeal process but they all laughed at that an appeal went to a committee for study I worry a little about Asher's assignment Jonas confessed Asher's such fun but he doesn't really have any serious interests he makes a game out of everything his father chuckled you know he said I remember when Asher was a new child at the nurturing center before he was named he never cried he gig giggled and laughed at everything all of us on the staff enjoyed nurturing Asher the elders know Asher his mother said they'll find exactly the right assignment for him I don't think you need to worry about him but Jonas let me warn you about something that may not have occurred to you I know I didn't think about it until after my ceremony of 12 what's that well it's the last of the ceremonies as you know after 12 age isn't important most of us even lose track of how old we are as time passes though the information is in the Hall of open records and we could go and look it up if we wanted to what's important is the preparation for adult life and the training you'll receive in your assignment I know that Jonas said everyone knows that but it means his mother went on that you'll move into a new group and each of your friends will you'll no longer be spending your time with your group of 11s after the ceremony of 12 you'll be with your assignment group with those in training no more volunteer hours no more Recreation hours so your friends will no longer be as close Jonah shook his head Asher and I will always be friends he said firmly and there will still be school that's true his father agreed but what your mother said is true as well there will be changes good changes though his mother pointed out after my ceremony of 12 I missed my childhood Recreation but when I entered my training for Law and justice I found myself with people who shared my interests I made friends on a new level friends of all ages did you still play at all after 12 Jonas asked occasionally his mother replied but it didn't seem as important to me I did his father said laughing I still do every day at the nurturing Center I play bounce on the knee and peekaboo and hug the teddy he reached over and stroked Jonas's neatly trimmed hair fun doesn't end when you become 12 little appeared wearing her night clothes in the doorway she gave an impatient sigh this is certainly a very long private conversation she said and there are certain people waiting for their comfort object Lily her mother said fondly you're very close to being an eight and when you're an eight your comfort object will be taken away it will be recycled to the younger children you should be starting to go off to sleep without it but her father had already gone to the shelf and taken down the stuffed elephant which was kept there many of the Comfort objects like Lily were soft stuffed imaginary creatures Jonas's had been called a bear here you are Lily Billy he said I'll come help you remove your hair ribbons Jonas and his mother rolled their eyes yet they watched affectionately as Lily and her father headed to her sleeping room with a stuffed elephant that had been given to her as her Comfort object when she was born his mother moved to her big desk and opened her briefcase her work never seemed to to end even when she was at home in the evening Jonas went to his own desk and began to sort through his school papers for the evening's assignment but his mind was still on December in the coming ceremony though he had been reassured by the talk with his parents he hadn't the slightest idea what assignment the elders would be selecting for his future or how he might feel about it when the day came oh look little squealed in Delight isn't he cute look how tiny he is and he has funny eyes like yours Jonas Jonas glared at her he didn't like it that she had mentioned his eyes he waited for his father to chastise Lily but father was busy unstrapping the carrying basket from the back of his bicycle Jonas walked over to look it was the first thing Jonas noticed as he looked at the new child peering up curiously from the basket the pale eyes almost every citizen in the the community had dark eyes his parents did and Lily did and so did all of his group members and friends but there were a few exceptions Jonas himself and a female five whom he had noticed had the different lighter eyes no one mentioned such things it was not a rule but was considered rude to call attention to things that were unsettling or different about individuals Lily he decided would have to learn that soon or she would be called in for chastisement because of her insensitive chatter father put his bike into its Port then he picked up the basket and carried it into the house Lily followed behind but she glanced back over her shoulder at Jonas and teased maybe he had the same birth mother as you Jonas Shrugged he followed them inside but he had been startled by the new child's eyes mirrors were rare in the community they weren't forbidden but there was no real need of them and Jonas had simply never bothered to look at himself very often even when he found himself in a location where a mirror existed now seeing the new child and its expression he was reminded that the light eyes were not only a rarity but gave the one who had them a certain look what was it depth he decided as if one were looking into the Clear Water of the river down to the bottom where things might lurk which hadn't been discovered yet he felt self-conscious realizing that he too had that look he went to his desk pretending not to be interested in the new child on the other side of the room mother and Lily were bending over to watch as father unwrapped its blanket what's his comfort object called Lily asked picking up the stuffed creature which had been placed beside the new child in his basket father glanced at it hippo he said Lily giggled at the strange word hippo she repeated and put the Comfort object down again she peered at the unwrapped new child who waved his arms I think new children are so cute Lily sighed I hope I get a sign to be a birth mother Lily mother spoke very sharply don't say that there's very little honor in that assignment but I was talking to Natasha you know the T who lives around the corner she does some of her volunteer hours at the birthing center and she told me that the birth mothers get wonderful food and they have very gentle exercise periods and most of the time they just play games and amuse themselves while they're waiting I think i' like that Lily said petulantly three years mother told her firmly three births and that's all after that they are laborers for the rest of their adult lives until the day they enter the house of the old is that what you want Lily three lazy years and then hard physical labor until you were old well no I guess not Lily acknowledged reluctantly father turned the new child onto his tummy in the basket he sat beside it and rubbed it small all back with a rhythmic motion anyway ly Billy he said affectionately the birth mothers never even get to see new children if you enjoy the little one so much you should hope for an assignment as nurturer when you're an eight and start your volunteer hours you can try some at the nurturing Center mother suggested yes I think I will Lily said