Lecture Notes: Why Rebound Relationships Fail

Introduction

• Speaker: Coach P, a relationship and breakup coach.
• Objective: Discuss why rebound relationships inevitably fail.

Key Points

1. Rebound Relationships are Doomed

• Rebound relationships always end.
• If they last over a year, they turn toxic.

2. Question of Doing Better

• A common question arises: "Could I do better?"
• This undermines the stability of the relationship.

3. Toxicity of Rebound Relationships

• Rebound relationships will always become toxic.
• Initial happiness is superficial; true self eventually emerges.

4. Psychological Displacement

• New relationships often pick up where the old one left off.
• Emotional copy-pasting leads to unresolved issues.
• Love bombing can initially feel rewarding but is deceptive.

5. Emotional Roller Coaster

• Not processing emotions leads to instability.
• Emotional baggage from previous relationships persists.

6. Emotional Wounding

• Both parties in rebound relationships are often emotionally wounded.
• Healthy individuals take time before starting new relationships.

7. Lack of Knowing the Partner

• Partners do not take the time to know each other.
• Leads to unhealthy dynamics and unrealistic expectations.

8. Bypassing the Grief Process

• Not grieving the past relationship leads to unresolved emotions.
• Rebounds are temporary painkillers, not solutions.

9. Fear-Based Decisions

• Actions are driven by fear or wound, ignoring red flags.
• Decisions based on insecurity are not sustainable.

10. High Expectations

• Unreasonably high expectations from the new partner.
• Projecting past relationship goals onto the new relationship.

11. Opposite or Similar Partner

• Sometimes choose opposite or similar partners to fix past issues.
• Reflects unresolved personal problems.

12. First Available Choice

• Often the first available option is chosen, showing low selectiveness.
• Easy come, easy go—lack of value for things not worked for.

13. Denial of Past Significance

• Denying past relationship importance by moving on quickly.

14. Need to Prove Right Decisions

• Stay too long in wrong relationships to validate their decision.

15. Emotional Crutch

• Rebound serves as an emotional crutch rather than genuine intimacy.

16. Lack of Personal Change

• Without change, past mistakes are repeated.
• Growth is stunted by avoiding self-reflection.

17. Codependency

• Rebound relationships often become codependent.
• Emotional reliance leads to suffocation of the new partner.

18. Novelty Wears Off

• Initial excitement fades, and comparisons to the past relationship begin.
• Leads to realization of past partner’s qualities and potential return.

Conclusion

• Rebound relationships are impulsive and unsustainable.
• Emphasized the importance of healing and personal growth post-breakup.
• Encouraged seeking help and focusing on self-improvement.
• Call to action: Like, comment, and subscribe to Coach P’s channel for more relationship advice.