Well thank you all for coming in today. I know it's not easy to come to a counseling session especially as a family but you're here and that's great. So what brings you here today? Well, we've just been having a lot of trouble with Gigi.
She just won't listen, especially to Julie. When she asks her to do something, it's like multiple times. that she has to ask.
Gigi recently came home from Oregon. She'd been living with her biological mother. It's been hard. It's been a hard adjustment. A hard adjustment.
Yeah, it's hard. I mean, Mia's a stepmom and I just have a really tough time with her and we seem to just not mix well. Okay, so there's been some problems with the adjustment and some stress around that it sounds like.
And Gigi, what, um, how are you feeling about what your mom and Julie said, or your dad and Julie said? Um, it's okay. But sometimes I don't, sometimes they, um.
Don't leave me alone. I feel like I don't have any privacy. Okay, so you feel like they're kind of all over you. Privacy is important to you.
Yeah. Okay. Alright.
How have you all been managing the situation so far? The lack of communication and sort of the stress that's been... Well, I mean, I can talk. I'm home with her more than he is. It's really hard.
She just, she shuts herself in a room so I don't know how much more privacy she wants. She's never really around me and Vinny and we're trying to engage her. And when she is home it's pretty stressful because it's a lot of fighting because she doesn't listen. And she's pretty disrespectful and I know that she said that I'm not respectful but...
I would like to see some respect before I give it. Sure. And as a parent, as a parent role model, respect is important. That's understandable.
And it just says Gigi feels her privacy is important. So I'm curious if you were to kind of rate the stress in the household on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least stressful situation in the house, no one's yelling at each other, and then the other being, oh. No one's arguing. Everybody's listening to each other. And 10 being the most stressful situation where you're all yelling and no one's listening.
Where would you say that you're your household adult at right now? I would say a 6. 6? Out of 10. 6 out of 10? Okay. I might go a little higher.
Sometimes when I'm by myself with her, it's pretty stressful. Maybe 7. Okay. Gigi?
What do you think? I don't know. You don't know?
So if you take how the stress is in your house right now and how maybe Julie is kind of on your case about your privacy and they might be asking you ten times to come down and do stuff, and the stress that that causes, where would you rate that as to ten being the most stressful for you or one being the least stressful? I'm not sure, but sometimes it's okay. Okay.
sometimes she's really annoying. Okay so it kind of changes for you and it goes up and down. Okay, well what would make it, what would have to happen to make it better?
So you both say six or seven so it's fairly you know similar. So if we were to say bring that down to a four, so make the things in the house less stressful, what do you think would need to happen? I think it'd be important for her to be more comfortable with the house.
Gigi if you started listening to Julie more I think that'd be important rather than you know staying in your room and she has to ask you nine times ten times so I think that would be okay that would be one step okay is there any ever a time Julie where Gigi does listen to you um I mean I guess Not like chores or anything or doing homework. Maybe, I mean, we like to... eat together sometimes so when it is time for dinner she usually i don't have to ask her too many times she'll come down she'll come down for dinner so when you when it's dinner time when you're asked uh gigi will come down do you agree with that okay and what what um is different about that why do you come down for dinner right away um because there's food and i get hungry okay that makes sense okay do you think that um that could be something that you could start to do with with other things with other requests from your dad or from Julie say with your schoolwork or your chores okay you think that maybe like starting to respond at the when they first ask you instead of waiting until I can try you can try that would be great no of course not but just the the effort that would be wonderful that would be really nice I have another question. This might seem a little bit silly. It's called the miracle question.
And it has to do with, so say you go, sorry, you just made me laugh. So you go to sleep at night, okay? And a miracle happens while you're sleeping. And all of your problems have gone away. All of the problems that have brought you here to counseling are gone when you wake up in the morning.
Okay, so this miracle has taken them all away. You wake up in the morning. What is different about your life?
What do you notice that's different? How, you know. Well, first of all, I would have won the lottery.
Oh, yes, that's a good one. And I'd be able to take care of Gigi and Julie without having to work and just be able to spend time with them. Then will you take me to Disney World?
Yes. I'd have plenty of money to take you and plenty of time. But Julie would have to come too, and you'd have to listen.
Okay. Well, it sounds like spending time with your daughter is really important. And for you too to spend time with your dad and to financially support your family are important things for you.
That's very important to me, yes. Okay. And Julie, what would change in your life? Well, winning the lottery would be nice, of course. But I think just having a happy household.
Just having Gigi listen to me. I ask her to do things and I know I'm not her mom, but I am the adult in the house. I am the adult in the house most of the time, the only one when Vinny's at work. it would be nice not to have that stressful relationship and I'd like to see Gigi happy. Okay.
All right. And Gigi, what about you? You know, that miracle that happens while you're sleeping.
What would change? I can see my dog, Jack, who's still in Oregon. And he wouldn't be sick anymore.
Okay. And I would have more privacy. And I'm... I'm going to be, I will be an animal doctor so I can help animals that are sick. Oh, that's a wonderful ambition.
So you miss your dog and things about Oregon, and that's a difficult adjustment to move to a new place. And, you know, just to have that privacy too. And, you know, I hear Julia and your dad also saying that respect and communication are important to the both of you. Yes. Okay.
Welcome back. This is our last session today and we've been seeing each other now for about six weeks and you guys have made some great strides in your communication and kind of reducing the stress at home. and just really interacting with each other in a more positive way. You've come up with some concrete goals of having dinner together and spending time together.
Gigi, you've been on your phone. less and in your room less and with interacting with your family more and you've come up with some solutions for the issue around school and homework and there have been no pink slips for a while now yes yes that's awesome she's done well with that. Daddy told me that he would take me to SeaWorld since I haven't had a pink slip in a week.
I thought it was Disney World. Disney World, SeaWorld. Well that's Fantastic. I'm proud of your effort for all of you. How confident do y'all feel that you'd be able to maintain these changes that you've made?
I'm pretty confident. Yeah? Yeah, as long as we can remember what we've been doing right.
Yeah, I'd agree. It's still a little rocky at times, but it's gotten a lot better. Okay. I think. What will help you keep those changes in place?
I mean, I think with us it's maybe just focusing on the positives. Like you've been practicing and not getting caught up in the stress. and what she's doing wrong or what I'm doing wrong. Okay, but the positive and the good communication that you have that you've built as sort of like a groundwork to build upon.
Yeah. Okay, very good. And what do you expect will be your hardest challenge leaving here today?
Well, I think falling into old patterns could be a challenge that could come up. Okay. Yeah. All right. And how do you see yourself handling that?
Remembering that solution we came up with. I think having dinner together and having that time as a family was really important and that's something we've been working on a lot. Something we talked about. So if it could become stressful if something happens, you know, if Gigi, if you become stressed. kind of it falling into maybe an old pattern that you can communicate with each other like you've learned how to do.
Hopefully she feels a little better about communicating with me and I've been trying to work on communicating with her so hopefully we can keep that up. Okay. Gigi, how do you feel about that? Good. Fine.
Yeah? I think that Julie and I fight less now. Fight less now?
Yeah. Good. Okay, and how does that feel?
Okay, yeah, okay. Well good. Well, I'm confident that you'll you'll be able to manage these changes that you've made and Deal with any stressors that come up and I'm always here if you you know, if you need some support Thank you. Thank you so much. You're so welcome