you wouldn't believe how much of what you're doing is actually an overcompensation for something that you feel is missing in your life when I really got that when I saw that so much of my behaviors my habits my desires so much of what I was moving towards what I was trying to get trying to prove by doing all these things that that it was a direct response to something within me that felt was lacking that I felt was missing something that was incomplete about me and it's such a subtle thing because over the years and over the decades we practice this feeling so much we become so familiar with it that we actually believe that it's who we are that it's what we are and in that sense it's so familiar that the lack of that feeling of lack is actually a sort of death right it's so intimidating and scary to not have that experience of ourselves in our life because then who are we there are moments in our lives When We Were Young that were sort of defining moments they were kind of imprints as to how we relate to ourselves and how we relate to the world and others most most of the time this comes from a very young age something our parents said or did or something that our teachers or Society or our friends it's a sort of fabricated idea which becomes an a self-image through practice through repetition in life all founded on a lie that is lack and then we go out into the world and unconsciously we try to prove or disprove this we try to overcome this most of what we're trying to do is an overcompensation for this inner feeling that something's just not right that I'm just not there yet that I'm not whole that something's missing and as we go out into the world to try to disprove or undermine this feeling of lack where looking for others to confirm or to validate our sense of Worth right the opposite of that lack but you see the funny thing about this is that everyone's doing this so then we are looking to others who are also in a position of insecurity and inadequacy and unworthiness this prevalent experience so we're looking into the world and to others who are experiencing the same thing to try to confirm to us that it's not true and especially from those who are not in a position to give it to us no judgment towards them through understanding and compassion we can recognize that they're in the same boat they're in the same position and that by looking to each other to try to get some kind of acceptance and validation we're losing an uphill battle we're fighting our own resistance and that's why ultimately you can never overcome what is inherently not true because it's not true that you're not enough it's not true that you don't belong how can you know that experientially well for example if you were to go and talk to a friend or talk to a coworker and ask them some questions about their experience of you and if you were to get a sense of their perspective of you their perceptions of you you would see that they have a totally different point of view of yourself than you do about yourself and if you to do this with multiple people you would end up with multiple perspectives of you of reality of life so right there you can see that your point of view is not the truth it may feel true to you because it's your experience but objectively speaking when you zoom out it's not true it's just one point of view of many so it's not a universal truth therefore it's not what you are and that's why all true transformation is death because to be reborn as your true self time and time time again that constant expansion and growth requires death and in that sense we are always meeting ourselves for the first time because we're never the same even our body has cells which are recreating themselves within a few years you don't have the same body you had nothing about your physical vehicle is what it once was and that's just a tangible manifestation of the more subtle truth that you are formless that you are changeless viewing a constant canvas of change and identifying with that canvas of change limiting yourself to an idea to an image and when I really recognized that pattern and became aware of that tendency to overcompensate and try to overcome which requires so much effort and is absolutely exhausting because I was missing the truth of myself I was not aware of Who I Really Am that infinite nature which is pure possibility and so much becomes available when there is not that conflict that resistance to life to oneself when there's an integration of those parts of you which have been neglected and abandoned it cannot affect you anymore because it's been integrated in the lack of separation between you and it it has no influence over you that's empowerment