think of Seduction as a language that is a language that is mostly non-verbal and your game is to learn that language to master it this is my second book The Art of Seduction which came out in 2001 and I'm happy to say just recently we've sold over a million copies of this book so there you go so I want you to think of Seduction in the following way the people around you all around you in your daily life they have these kind of walls that are erected to protect themselves from Intruders protect them from advertisers to protect them from people who are meddling in their life to protect them from all the other intrusions that are continually distracting them people particularly in the 21st century are very defensive they have very thick walls around them they're not necessarily interested in who you are they're not interested in your ideas and having a relationship with you in anything about you there is naturally resistant to you the game in seduction is to lower those walls to make them thinner and thinner to find penetrating points so you can enter inside their mind inside their defenses and so the ultimate power is when you're not there when after an encounter with you or whatever they're thinking about you when you're not there you have entered their mind you have entered their Inner Space and you've occupied in a positive way hopefully their their inner worlds and they're thinking about you even though you're not there that is the game The Art of Seduction okay now think of Seduction as a language that's what I try and tell people in The Art of Seduction but it is a language that is mostly non-verbal and your game is to learn that language to master it much as you would mastered French or whatever other language there is okay so what is this language well it's a language of gesture it's a language of body language it's it's a language of energy that you feel off of another person so if someone is trying to seduce you or you're trying to seduce someone and you're too obvious about it and it's too clear what you're up to and you're saying all the right cliched lines that people say in order to seduce it just makes those walls thicker and thicker and thicker it's too clear people become more and more resistant right but if they don't even know that you're trying to seduce if it's something that's in your energy it is in your personality you don't have to say a word you have Charisma you are a siren you are a rake you are the natural all the nine types of seduces that I illustrate in there then you don't even have to try it's something that emanates from your personality and it attracts people to you without you ever saying a word so part of that language is your own energy your own kind of confidence and inner security that emanates out of you and that draws people to you and that is incredibly seductive it is a language of gestures so when you go on on a date or you take someone somewhere it's not what you say and all and everything that you do it's the place that you take them to it's not something that they expect it's a surprise it's a place that they've never been to before that's different that's not predictable that is a that is part of the seductive language when you give them a gift it's not a gift that's obvious that is you know flowers or something like that or something that costs a lot of money it's a gift that shows that you're thinking about them that you understand their spirit so for instance I tell people listen carefully to the other person they're going to say things about what they love about their likes their dislikes and so they're going to reveal some of their personality you want to get them to talk a lot and you don't hardly say anything and in the course of revealing something that they love a light bulb goes on your head and you go hmm that's I can give them a gift after a couple of weeks of seeing them that reflects this particular thing they mentioned once that reveals to them that I was listening that I understood that I absorbed their idea their Spirit wow this person was actually hearing me how thoughtful right it's a gesture you don't have to say anything okay on and on on and on you're learning these languages you are learning what excites people what triggers their level of Fascination what would repel them and repulse them so you want to create a degree of mystery you want to send mixed signals they don't know exactly who you are there's an element of I don't really know this person you know what they do tomorrow I I can't really predict wow how exciting so in the course of that you're thinking about them it's a language of absence and presence if you're too much in people's face if you're texting them every day if you're emailing them and calling them all the time there's no sense of mystery they can't you're not giving them any space but if you allow two days or three days to go by where you don't call them all right you might think it's a little bit cruel but no that's part of Seduction it's part of The Mating Game don't worry about cruelty cruelty is part of Seduction actually you have to be a little bit cruel okay um so you wait a few days and that's basically hmm maybe he or she doesn't like me that much maybe there's something I said that was wrong and they start thinking about you and they start trying to think about what they can do to please you you've got them then you've seduced them the moment they're starting to think about you that's half the game and if you're constantly in their face you can't you can't allow that to happen but if you're two apps and if two weeks go by and you're never there you're just gonna make them angry you're just gonna make them forget you you're gonna think that you're not trustworthy you have to know the delicate balance between absence and presence when to be there and when to disappear for a day or two right not to answer their texts right away give them a little space to fantasize about you to think what you might be doing in your absence on and on and on on a language of gesture of behavior of things that you do of places that you take them to about your energy about when you're there and when you're not there how the level of mystery that you can if you can master that language and get people to think about you and be fascinated with you nothing else matters you don't have to be the handsomest and most beautiful woman in the world you will seduce them because seduction is a game of psychology it's a game of entering into their Spirit entering into their mind space and making them think about you you master that game and you'll be able to seduce almost anyone so that is basically The Art of Seduction as I've laid out in my book