Transcript for:
Community and Discipleship Lecture Notes

well as Landon mentioned our students are headed out to camp and uh when I was a a student I remember we lived in Texas and we would go to a camp uh up in Colorado which the bus ride was about 20 hours long which if you've ever been on a 20-hour bus ride uh trapped with it smells like Pringles and feet um you have an urgent desire to get out and I remember for us uh as the sun was rising over Colorado we were finally arriving at our destination Camp up in the Rockies and as soon as the bus door opened me and a collection of kids went racing out the door and like many Texans did not understand uh distance in Colorado and so we saw what looked like a little Hill and we're like let's Scamper to the top of that Hill not realizing that what we thought were shrubs were actually trees and that was a mountain and it was not close none of this was clear to us at the time so we just broke out in a Sprint running towards freedom to ascend the heights together as a community and after several minutes of running we realized wo this is a little farther than we thought and uh and we didn't understand elevation either and we were more winded than we thought and so in a moment suddenly we found ourselves depleted in the midst of trees and lost and in the midst of that this loving community of friends began to uh stress out and some said you know what we need to keep going forward to get to Higher Ground so we can see where we are and others said no we don't we we need to turn back flee flee the hills and go back down and another was saying no we need to stop here and wait for rescue build a shelter and she started snapping trees I'm not sure why if she thought she was going to make a fire it was never that clear but all kinds of Direction all kinds of panic all kind of uncertainty no food and no sense and yet in the midst of it all I remember suddenly from this little ledge above us this Old grizzled Mountain Man appeared and he literally stepped out upon the shelf above us and went young people your Camp is that way and none of us were like who do you think you are I mean we could tell this was a man of the hills we could tell this man knew what he was doing knew what we were meant to be doing and so as we looked up at this man above us and he pointed the way we said yes sir and we walked towards the place that he told us and sure enough it led us safely home now why I mention that not to stress you out Landon won't let your kids run away for those of you who are uh sending your kids today to uh but for this reason we started a series last week called disciple and disciple is a word that shows up in the Bible a lot uh it means learner uh a a pupil a student it means someone who puts themsel under the teaching and Direction and authority of another as that one stands over you and says go that way to find direction and peace and Harmony in life to get you safely home and we talked about how Jesus has called us to be his disciples people who come up under his teaching and follow him as he leads us home and as we talked about that we said as a church how do we do that as a community and we realize we've got guiding purposes that guide all the programs that we build as a church as we assemble and get together and do different things there's a logic to it all we're not just doing random events there's guiding principles underneath our programs and those principles come from the marching orders of our King as he's pointed the direction to go we looked last week at what was called his Great Commission and his great Commandment that the Great Commission of Jesus go and make disciples of all Nations baptizing them in the name of the father Son and Holy Spirit teaching them to obey all that I've commanded you and lo I'm with you always to the end of the age and then his great commandment to love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself and we said you can extract from those kind of five principles that guide what we doing as we journey together as a community and we talked about go and make disciples that this thing begins with evangelism the good news of what God is doing in Jesus proclaimed to all the nations and then he said baptizing them among other things baptism is as an entrance into the symbol of my union with the Triune god father Son and Holy Spirit and the community that's called by his name teaching them that we're meant to be discipled and to grow so we hear the Evangel the gospel it links us into the community of Jesus where we grow together and learn more about him teaching them to obey all that I've commanded you and then we're meant to love the Lord Our God you could call that worship and worship isn't just the singing of songs it's the living of a life that everything I do brings glory and honor to the one who loved me and gave himself for me and then we're meant to love our neighbor as ourselves that as I am loved by God and love him that love overflows expected Banks and I serve those around me my brothers and sisters in Christ and also my neighbors even my enemies that I meant to love all those who bear the image of God every man woman and child on the planet right and so we talked about these five guiding principles that are sort of the essential pillars of a church and we've been moving through that together and last week uh was about evangelism the Declaration of the you andalum the good message and we looked at Ephesians chapter 2 that the good news is you were dead in your transgressions and sins uh which doesn't sound like good news uh but it is when you know that there's something wrong with you and the Bible diagnoses it yeah you're dead spiritually you can never Ascend to the heights you were meant to be but God being rich in Mercy because of the great love with which he loved us even when you were dead in your trespasses made you alive with Christ by his grace you've been saved that the Christian life doesn't start with us obeying some information the Christian Life starts with trans trans formation that I realize I'm dead but Jesus Christ died for me Rose from the grave and his kindness Grace comes towards me and I am saved by grace through faith Faith's empty hands are saying if Jesus is rescuing rescue me if he's bringing people from Death To Life resurrect me and when I put my faith in Jesus I am transformed from spiritually dead to spiritually alive from abandoned to adopted it's called a new birth in the Bible that suddenly Born Again into God's family reconciled made friends again vertically with God and Humanity but then we looked a little bit last week about how Ephesians 2 the reconciliation through the cross of Jesus Christ doesn't just have a vertical beam of reconciling us with God it has a horizontal beam of reconciling us with humanity and in Ephesians chapter 2 it goes on and says of Jesus he came and preached peace to you who are far off and peace to those who are near for through him we both have access in one Spirit to the father so then you're no longer strangers and Aliens but fellow citizens with the Saints and members of the household of God built on the foundation of the Apostles and Prophets Christ Jesus himself being the Cornerstone and whom this whole structure being joined together grows into a holy Temple in the Lord in him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the spirit so those who are close that knew the word of God and those who were far off you had no idea what God is doing God is taking people and bringing them together and reconciling them not just to himself but to one another that through evangelism God brings people to himself and then knits us together into a community where formerly desperate parties strangers aliens enemies suddenly become friends knit together because of the inexhaustible love of Jesus the gospel lets us knits us together not just in community with God but in community with one another uh when my daughter Sparrow was born she was immediately child of her mother and I and at the same moment sister to her sister Hannah when my son Owen was born that is my son right not by work that he has done but by my grace he is alive right and in that same moment he is brother to his sisters and this is the same with you when Jesus Christ makes you alive you are a child of God by his grace and you are a brother and sister to us whether you like it or not and the way to love your parent is to get along with each other easier said than done and yet that's where we are this is the second piece after evangelism comes Community God has bound us together that's where we are today and what's great about that is we desperately need it that's always been true but we're feeling it more and more today uh I do a devotional time with my kids in the morning at breakfast uh during the school year and we were studying uh the life of Solomon and as we were reading that passage we get to the moment where God told Solomon what do you want tell me anything and I'll give it to you and I just stopped at that moment and asked the kids if you could uh uh get that from God tell me what you want what would you what would you ask for and one of them said no phones crazy thing is they don't have phones but as they're entering into fifth sixth grade seventh grade they're watching friends get them and they're watching their friends disappear into the screen as professor at MIT Sher turl says we are forever elsewhere that something is drawing us away from community and it's costing us uh the Wall Street Journal just had an article this week that said a a a rising number of teenagers are getting jobs all across the US and when asked why their number one reason is to make friends put me in a place where they make me put my phone away where I have to socialize with other humans they sense that longing and they're going to a job to try to find it right um we've talked about this uh extensively U Jonathan height is a social psychologist came out with a book recently uh the anxious generation talking about j z that beginning at when the oldest members of it were entering puberty in 2009 there was a massive shift shft in The Human Experience in the offing a rapid spread of uh high-speed broadband internet the arrival of the iPhone in 2007 the innovation of the like and retweet button I mean before that social media was just sharing pictures with your friends now suddenly it's the management of a brand uh the front-facing camera in 2010 before it was kind of hard to take a picture of yourself and then Instagram being bought by Facebook where you go why is that a big deal well in 2011 uh there were 10 million users on Instagram by 2013 there were 90 million that suddenly we had this massive shift in the way we communicate with each other and it's interesting because if you're a part of gen Z you're the first generation to go through puberty with a portal in your pocket to elsewhere that you could leave the physical embodied social experience to go somewhere else uh Jonathan I talks about uh how most Humanity through all of time was socialized in What's called the real world right because people say that but what does the real world mean and he kind of identifies four pillars of it he says one it's the world that's embodied meaning we communicate with our bodies uh we're conscious of the bodies of others and we respond to their bodies consciously and unconsciously social cues as we watch their faces change we we learn to socialize in embodied experiences that are synchronous synchronous means happening at the same time that there's subtle cues of taking turns that when you talk I don't talk over you that that we learn how to share in communication a and also we we're usually socialized in oneon-one or one on several communication where there's just one interaction happening in one moment and it happens often within communities well there's a high bar to entry and exit if you grew up in a village and didn't like someone you didn't cancel them they might be the only person selling eggs so you had to learn how to get along and that's how Humanity was socialized we had to gain social skill but now with the the rapid increase of the virtual world which is not all evil and we can talk about the benefits of it but we're trying to move on here but in this virtual new experience of human relationship much of our interaction is disembodied meaning I don't need your body just language and often I don't even know if I'm actually communicating with a real person or if it's just with an artificial intelligence it's it's asynchronous meaning we text one another so there's not that Dynamic exchange it can take a long time and so I don't learn as many social cues uh now there can be a substantial number of communications going on and and often it can be less a communication and more just a broadcast to an audience right and because of that now we have less and less communities more and more online networks which have very low barriers to entry and exit meaning I enter a network I follow somebody but as soon as you say something I don't like belite right and what happens psychologically is people have become more disposable now again as we look at that we can talk about the benefits of Technology but as we talk about socialization Community which we're talking about all this has had a cost and we've talked about this quite a bit I won't belabor it but as you look at different charts that uh Jee twangy has uh uh generational researcher has compiled you see a pretty compelling picture of of the last several years since the rise of the internet there's been a massive increase in anxiety particularly among young people starting in 2012 anxiety has gone off the charts many young people saying they feel anxious all the time there's also been a massive increase in depression massive increase in young people saying that they uh don't feel good about their life and it conversely time with friends has gone down considerably uh Jonathan height reports that time with friends is down 65% since 2010 we spend less time with each other and more time alone on screens and that's LED former US Surgeon General VI Murthy to State loneliness is becoming a growing Health epidemic one half of us adults recently reported they feel like no one knows them well at all and you see in the midst of that yes there's benefits to technology I'm not here to trash technology but we just have to look this massive shift in human interaction has cost us a sense of security peace and it's really hurting the youngest among us right we feel hey we broke down some barriers and maybe we needed them we've pushed away in our independence towards isolation and maybe that's cost us too much right it's interesting and I'll get off Jonathan heid and into the Bible because that's why we're here but height who is an atheist uh in the middle of his book which is data on social science and the way in uh social media has impacted us stops at one point in the center of his book and he says I'd like to write less as a social scientist than as a fellow human being who has felt overwhelmed personally perpetually since around 2014 anybody ever felt that way nobody just Jonathan okay he says I've been struggling to figure out what is happening to us and listen to his answer I think I can best convey what is happening to us by using a word rarely used in the social sciences spirituality the phone-based life produces spiritual degradation it's fascinating because he he says like I'm not a religious or spiritual person but I need to use their language to explain the Human Experience and you're like well why is that John and he goes but I'm just noticing there's a cause to us and I don't know what else to call it other than spiritual and as he looks for an answer he gives multiple answers that he thinks would be helpful the premiere among them is he says we need to get back to a shared sacredness he says we need to create communal spaces where people will get together and rather than than descend into selfishness and self-interest that communally we can Ascend to think about higher things and lovely things things that lift the soul and Elevate us he says we need to have not just a group of friends not people who hang out your pickle ball group is great but it doesn't help you ascend spir he says we need to get a social sacredness where we come together and think about that which lifts the soul and then he says you know like what Christians do with hymns we got to do that kind of stuff and I would say yeah I think you're on to something I I think you're stumbling backwards into how God made us that we were built this way to be linked to him and linked with each other he rigged it that way and so how do we find one another again well just some of you know this but let me say it for the guests in the room we have talked about this concept a lot we've highlighted the need culturally we've highlighted the commands biblically the reasons theologically and the benefit socially we have talked about this so much and we will link online every talk we've ever done on community with a lot of arguments and we've talked through uh Ephesians and taught that what what I want to do today is just I wanted to call out just a little piece of Ephesians and just speak to us practically because many of us could say yes I need Community yes but I want to be a part of community but how do I do that or some of them say some of you you might say yes Ben I know Community is valuable but at the end of the day y'all are just a hassle you know and I think I'm good and people are pain in the rear so I'd rather just do my own thing and so how can I help you statistically right now at our church about onethird of the people who attend roughly are in family groups that's our smallest group where you can get people who really know you and pray for you I think that's great I don't know what the win is by the way if you're like what's the ideal percentage I don't know not a 100 because that means you have no guests you want people here who have no idea what's going on and if you're one of those we are so glad you're here uh so you don't want 100% of people in family groups but you want some big number so somewhere between a third and 100% that's what we're aiming at right uh but how do we do it uh and I want to speak to those who would say Ben I know Community is important but I'm good I don't think I need it I think my cup's full and you people are just going to drain me I've heard about what churches do you just arm twist people to get involved and then you just suck them dry and Cast Away the husk I don't need it right and others of you may say Ben I've tried it before and it didn't work I came empty looking for love and acceptance and peace and you people didn't give it and you're terrible so I'm going back to my room some people say my cup's full you're just going to empty it some say mine's empty y'all aren't filling it there's reasons practically why we don't join Community I want to address those as we look at Ephesians 4 11-16 so let's just look practically at how does it work let me start by saying we need Community because God rigged it this way uh and so he tells us in verse 11 and he gave this is Jesus after he accomplished his rescuing work on the cross he died for our sins was buried in the grave Rose victoriously to offer forgiveness by his grace that whoever trusts in him is born again you knit together with God and and in Ephesians we're skipping past a lot of this but we've t Ephesians before we can link those two it says not only did he do that that that he gave gifts to this new community individual gifts that each of us are meant to use to help one another and then he gives the gifts of a certain clientele of people in verse 11 and he gave the apostles the prophets the evangelists the Shepherds and teachers so so as he was knitting a community together he gave a certain type of gifted people namely Apostles and Prophets evangelists Shepherds and teachers what are Apostles and Prophets well we read it earlier in Chapter 2 Jesus when he assembled the 12 disciples those who were learning from him at some point in his ministry he dubbed them apostle that word means official Emissary of the king that Jesus assembled around himself 12 men and said I'm going to make you the official announcers of my kingdom and what it is to be a part of it Apostles make away the authoritative recipients and Proclaimers of the mystery of Christ Jesus prophets and and the Bible functioned in much the same way prophets in the Old Testament were people that would step into the community and remind them that God has offered a covenant to us and we need to be knit together in it and so in Ephesians 2 it talks about this whole building of the church is built upon that the message of the Apostles and Prophets now are there Apostolic work and prophetic work today we're not getting into all that that's not really the scope of this message but God gave us Apostles and and Prophets and evangelists evangelist is built off that word you and Galan the good message he built people whose whose job is just to get out there and proclaim the good news we're all supposed to do it we're all supposed to tell people the good news of Jesus but there's some people who are uniquely gifted at it and God gave us them as a gift I remember going to see Billy Graham when I was in high school and showed up at an arena where the sound was terrible the the U budget they had gone far over the budget and so they cut uh Acoustics treatments so the whole time Billy was speaking he was like you're lost lost lost lost lost lost L you know like it's just the sound is bouncing everywhere and yet he manages to preach the gospel and I remember at the end of it it was just the most basic Christian message I remember at one point he was just goes you're lost you need Christ and then he goes don't run but if you want Jesus come forward and people came running forward I was like what that's crazy I've said that so many times and people are like are you done like are we closed to lunch I'm like forget it fine and you go that guy's good so we're all doing the work of an evangelist but God gave to us some people that are uniquely gifted at getting this good message out and then he gave us the Shepherds and teachers and those are if you see governed by one definite article because they really overlap Shepherd someone who cares and nurtures for a community uh Pastor is is is a shepherding word that's someone who helps Cor gr people and get them to places where they can flourish and teachers teach people what they don't know what I'm doing now so so God builds Church communities and then he puts in those communities people who can guide us into environments and places where we can grow in our potential spiritually and people who teach us and help explain to us the things we don't know that we need to know this is what Shepherds and teachers are meant to do right and then it tells us the function of why we do that why are we hurting you into different groups and why are we teaching you things about the Bible verse 12 it says to equip equip uh is like what equipment managers do for sports teams they don't play the game they make sure your jersey washed and they get you your pads and they get you your shoes and and and they give you the equipment you need to play and so he says this class of people Shepherds and teachers people who are organizing a community and educating a community their primary role is to equip you with what you need you saint now Saints isn't a subset or class of Christian if you look all through the New Testament anyone who's put their faith in Jesus is called the Saint the word Saint means holy one and and holy one means set apart now does that mean that ethically and morally you're perfect no I think you know you're not but when you come to Christ he says you're set apart for me so so you've been put together with me and so so you are holy set apart to me so POS positionally you belong to me but constitutionally you're still a mess and that kickstarts the process will start next week of sanctification where where he he conforms us more into the image of his son and so God rescues us and calls us to himself even while we're sinners Christ died for us he adopts us and says you're holy and you're like well I'm not really he's like no no no like positionally we're good but yeah I'm going to go to work on you right uh my kids are my kids they're not trying to earn it and yet I want them to conform to the image of their parents so they can flourish as human beings not to become my kids but because they are right and so we belong to him and he's shaping us to be more like him right and so we're meant to equip the Saints for the work of ministry so who's doing the work of ministry the Saints for the building up of the body of Christ right so so guys like me my job is to equip you I'm the equipment manager I'm the guy with the gator bottle that runs out during timeouts you need some score squir score squir into your helmets and then I run by I'm I'm the guy next to the tennis court that when the ball goes sideways I'm like I'm just trying to help you play that's my job and it's your job to do the work of the ministry so as as you look around our staff Brennan is great he's just great right yes party amens from those who know him and some of you are like yeah I need him to be my best friend hey hey guys he can't okay he can't be all of your best friend and so some of you like this church I just needed Brendon to be my best friend he can't do it you're like yeah there there's a there's a range to pastoral care and uh his job is not to be your best friend his job is to create environments where you can befriend each other right that's what Shepherds do let me create an environment where I'm equipping you with what you need to befriend and care one another that that's what community is meant to do that we all lean in together right now so let me address that person I mentioned earlier that was like Ben I know Community is important and all that but I don't want to join a church y'all are a hassle you're just going to drain me and I got other things I'm trying to do well let me just give you one reason to that's in this text right here Jesus set up this system to build up the body of the church so if you're saying I don't want to do the work of ministry to build up the body of Christ you just got to know who you're saying no to it's not me it's Jesus okay now you may not get involved at this church this particular expression of his body but I'm just saying if you're saying I'm not going to get involved in a church y'all are too big a hassle you just have to know what you're saying is no Lord which is an oxymoron if you think about it right so do some soul searching there and just understand who it is you're mad at it's not me right uh because Jesus rigged this system where people with a certain set of gifts are are obligated to create an environment now now some some people create environments where people are just siphoned and we just use you and and and that's not good leadership so so Church pastors and teachers are always fighting to create an environment where yes you do meaningfully ser serve but we don't just use you but you're meant to serve he gave you gifts where you're meant to build up the body one another by doing the work of ministry right work helps build because Community brings maturity that's your next point so if point one is God rigged it this way point two is community brings maturity you see in verse 13 until we all attain that word attain means arrive at the proper destination we're all meant to help each other until we all arrive where three prepositional phrases that are all kind of one idea to the unity of faith and the knowledge of the Son of God that that together we understand we have a common faith in Jesus Christ and we know him that word knowing is is not just the word nosis it's eposis on top of knowledge that that we have a deep and vital connection to Jesus we're supposed to help each other know him more and more and trust him more and more that's the goal that we're helping each other know and trust Jesus more to mature manhood that's not talking about each of you becomes a mature man he's talking about collectively God's built What's called the new Humanity that we're supposed to help each other be a community that progresses towards maturity tell us it's intended result God took his gifts and spread them out no one has them all but as we all use them to serve each other we help one another know him more trust him more and mature as human beings to the measure of the stat the fullness of Christ that we become more and more like him so again to the person that says man been I just I know I'm gifted talented amazing but I just I'm trying to do my own thing I don't necessarily need to be involved in church I would say this what this text is saying is God has gifted you and you're meant to use that to serve other believers and and let me just say this you may say I'm good I don't need anything from yall but I would say the way you develop the gifts that you've been given is by using them yeah uh working out builds muscles right but what are you doing when you're working out you're depleting your energy stores and breaking down that muscle so when you're working out you're actually depleting but you're depleting because it knows it signals your body this guy's going to make me work and your muscles repair and they don't just repair back what happens they get stronger so depleting leads to developing so if you're like well God gave me these gifts but I don't want to use them to serve other people you're not just robbing us you're robbing you how do you get better at speaking doing it how do you get better at leading leading people how do you get more patient working with difficult people some of you like God give me patience he's like okay here his name's Ronnie and he just he's going to do it and he's going to give you what you want but if you're like I don't want to be a part of it you're hampering yourself and let me tell you this also if you're like Ben I don't need this uh you're not as self-sufficient as you think you are right um General Grant right uh was the right General at the right moment Lincoln brought him in and he led uh the nation to to victory in this terrible Civil War and Nation came back together and elected him president in a wave of uh agulation he was gifted at persevering and leading but he would also every now and again get sad and drink too much and it almost cost him everything and so John Rollins not as good a leader not as adep not as persevering got onto his staff and John Rollins didn't need to help Grant make a ton of decisions but every now and again when Rollins got sad or when Grant got sad Rollins was there to keep him from making some terrible mistakes and you could make a direct line from emancipation to Rollins keeping Grant sober right now God will build his church with or without you God could have preserved the union however he wants to but rollin's got to be a part of that and you may be strong 10 days out of 11 but on that 11th one you need us and in that moment it's hard to quickly find an us it's nice when you're already embedded in one who's already on the team to catch you when you fall uh there's a new Superman movie coming out and you know Superman uh like any superhero movie people are desperate to find out information who's going to be in It spoilers and so Paparazzi go and take pictures on set and so they were doing some filming I think in Cleveland or something and and they got a hold of some photos and so there's a photo I don't know if we got it up there Superman and I don't know what all Superman's going to do you can tell he's got a bit of a high neck this time around uh on his costume and got the red underwear back and as per usug can catch heavy stuff right Superman don't need anybody right um truth is that's only half the picture um I don't care if you think Superman you still need people God rigged it that way okay so even Superman needs help and so you need friends and and maybe this isn't the church there there's a million wonderful churches there's several in this town but God rigged it where you are meant to be a part of a community because Community brings maturity it helps develop what God's put in you so you can be conformed more into the image of his son also alternatively Community brings stability it it won't just help you develop into maturity it'll keep you safe in an unstable day uh verse 14 so that we may no longer be children tossed to and fro by the waves carried about by every wind of Doctrine by human cunning by craftiness and deceitful schemes he says part of why we get together and serve one another is so we won't be children you go I thought we were supposed to be like children context determines how we're supposed to be like children in our faith children are dependent upon their parents and understand their need Jesus says be like children who understand their need from the father here he's talking about children in contrast to maturity so here he's talking about you don't want to be like children in the sense of being gullible children lack Insight uh they think things are real that aren't real they trust people they should not trust and here use the example of children thrown about and carried about by wind and waves a child alone in the ocean not good not going to win and he's saying for many of us if we decide I'm going to separate from the community I'm going to isolate a you're like a child in the ocean easily thrown about confused in your thinking uh made dizzy is what carried about means by every meaning there's going to be a bunch of information coming at you so it's interesting some people say I don't need Community I don't need an embodied community that really knows me loves me cares about me and speak the truth of me in love I'm just going to be on my own but on your own equals what you online and you online on your own are going to be suddenly hit by every way W from every direction and I have not really seen any human being flourish in that environment where I'm not really known but I have all kinds of trickery that's the word cunning uh my direction it's actually literally the word in Greek uh dice throwing the idea of loaded dice that someone's playing a game but it's not the real game they're playing and they're deceiving me craftiness they're they're they're deceiving me and into deceitful schemes meaning a scheme that causes me literally to wander that that if I isolate I don't become uninfluenced I become more susceptible to influence and it leads me astray that isolation is one of the most dangerous things you can do it's where you'll lack insight and so for some of you go well Ben I tried to go to a church but I've been hurt by one that's real and and whenever you get a group of human beings together we're all Sinners and so you get a lot of sin together and so it's going to be messy it's messy to be together but it's more dangerous to be on your own and I think we're seeing that and so we got to enter the crazy to help each other be who we're meant to be and to keep each other safe uh my wife and I love watching the TV show alone if you've never seen it they uh just take people and drop them out in the wilderness alone and I mentioned this before now 10 seasons in most of the people are like Adept survivalists so they're not just like plucking people out of the suburbs going where are we going and dropping them off in Alaska like these are people who prefer to be off the grid right and yet even them people who live off catching squirrels with little Nets and skinning them to make hats even that crowd after a couple months alone gets even weirder and you see half of them drop out not because of the frigid cold not because of the bear attacks they like there's a bear they don't care about that just at some point they go I'm just so sick of being lonely that loneliness takes out more of them than starvation we're not meant to be alone we need each other but some of you go well Ben I tried and it didn't work well let me close with verses 15 and 16 speaking the truth in love we grow up in every way into him is the head into Christ I love it because Christ is the source of our gifts and he's the goal he Resources with what I need to serve the community as we become more like him he's the Alpha and the Omega the beginning and the end and as I draw near to him and as we speak the truth to each other not not deceiving you deceiving is a selfish act if I lie to you why am I doing that because I want to keep power by by keeping from you what's true Christians don't do that we speak the truth even if it's hard but we don't speak it in a harsh way we say it in love love is genuine care for the other you want to be in a community where people will say what's honest but out of a genuine desire to help you grow and as you do that the whole body joined and held together by every joint with which it's equipped when each part is working properly it makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love some of you are coming and you say Ben I've come to a church and my cup was empty and they didn't fill it and let me say this I didn't read Ephesians 3 but it's right before Ephesians 4 and in Ephesians 3 Paul prays that you would understand the height and the depth and the breadth and to know the love of God that surpasses understanding at some level all human beings will disappoint you so you have to start with the God who won't you have to start with the inexhaustible love of God given to me who Christ Jesus and you may only feel like it just fills your cup up a splash but bring that to us because the truth is when you say hey I don't feel like I have much to offer if you come in not just trying to extract but also offering to give you'll find your cup gets filled up too Give an example when I started in college uh I went to college I didn't know anybody the college I was at not really I didn't have any Christian friends and so I would do what a lot of you did when you came to this town I would just visit a bunch of places and I would wander in alone sit alone slip out alone and I felt very alone and I started to do what some people do they I started to get bitter these people don't care Christians are so fake no one saying hi to me no one's reaching out to me and I remember I was sitting in one meeting and I had just dialed it up to 11: all y'all are hypocrites I'm so sick of all this and I was just so mad at Christians not being loving and I felt like the Lord went next to me going like yeah you you are a victim own it like he wasn't doing that I felt like the Lord was like hey man are you a Christian I was like yeah and he's like great so are you supposed to love people and I'm like this isn't about me right now but I realized you know what that obligation counts for me too and so I looked around the room and found the loneliest looking dude I could find in the back and went and sat by him started talking to him turned out he was a pastor in the area he wasn't even a college kid he was just there cuz he's trying to date the girl that was leading on stage ended up working out they got multiple lovely children I didn't know I just went and introduced myself to this guy and he's one of our dearest friends and so is their family I just decided well let me just take the little splash I got and I ended up getting a friend who calls me all the time and prays for you all the time and so he says when each of us are joined together at the end and when each joint is using properly you know what that word properly means commensurate with what it is so some of you go well Ben you say we're all supposed to be knit together as a part of the body I'm not a mouth I'm not a hand I'm I'm barely a pinky tendon I can do this can't jump high can't do anything so lowly yeah but if you were to ask me if I could do without my tendon and my pinky I would say no I'd rather keep it if it's all the same sure it can't solve a lot of stuff but but I like it helps me do this I don't even know why I'm doing it but it feels good and I certainly would feel the loss if you took my tendon away so you may look at yourself and just go I'm a lowly pinky tendon sorry I'd rather the pinky move that's how Jesus feels about you so you may say I don't have much to offer that's okay just bring what you got and it's the body's obligation to serve one another and as we serve one another we all grow and it honors the Lord to see us become more like him as we use the gifts he gave us to serve the people he saved until the day we see him face to face amen