Transcript for:
Insights from a Yogi's Life Journey

this audio presentation of an autobiography of a yogi by peremsa yoganinda is brought to you by audioenlightment.com copyright 2011 all rights reserved this is a reprint of the philosophical library in 1946 first edition currently in public domain preface the value of yoganinda's autobiography is greatly enhanced by the fact that it is one of the few books in english about the wise men of india which has been written not by a journalist or foreigner but by one of their own race and training in short a book about yogis by a yogi as an eyewitness recountable of the extraordinary lives and powers of modern hindu saints the book has importance both timely and timeless to its illustrious author who i've had the pleasure of knowing both in india and america may every reader render due appreciation and gratitude his unusual life document is certainly one of the most revealing of the depths of the hindu mind and heart and the spiritual wealth of india ever to be published in the west it has been my privilege to have met one of the sages whose life history is here and narrated sri yukteswa giri a likeness of the venerable saint appeared as part of the front piece of my tibetan yoga and secret doctrines it was at puri in orissa on the bay of bengal that i encountered sri yukteswar he was then the head of a quiet ashram near the seashore there and was chiefly occupied in the spiritual training of a group of youthful disciples he expressed keen interest in the welfare of the people of the united states and of all the americas and of england too and questioned me concerning the distant activities particularly those in california of his chief disciple paramounts yogananda whom he dearly loved and whom he had sent in 1920 as his emissary to the west sri yuktaswaduar was a gentleman and voice of pleasing presence and worthy of the veneration with his followers spontaneously accorded to him every person who knew him whether his own community or not held him in the highest esteem i vividly recall his tall straight aesthetic figure garbed in the saffron colored garb of one who has renounced worldly quests as he stood at the entrance of the hermitage to give me welcome his hair was long and somewhat curly and his face bearded his body was muscularly firm but slender and well formed and his step energetic he had chosen as his place of earthly abode the holy city of puri wither multitudes of pious hindus representatives of every province of india come daily on pilgrimage to the famed temple of jagannath lord of the world it was at puri that sri yakushwar closed his mortal eyes in 1936 to the scenes of this transitory state of being and passed on knowing that his incarnation had been carried to a triumphant completion i am glad indeed to be able to record his testimony to the high character and holiness of sri yukteswar content to remain afar from the multitude he gave himself unreservably and in tranquility to that ideal life which paramonsa yogan into his disciple has now described for the ages wy evans wentz chapter one my parents in early life the characteristic features of indian culture long been a search for ultimate verities and a concomitant disciple guru relationship my own path led me to a christ-like sage whose beautiful life was chiseled for the ages he was one of the great masters who are india's sole remaining wealth emerging in every generation they have bulwark their land against the fate of babylon and egypt i find my earliest memories covering the anachronistic features of a previous incarnation clear recollections came to me of a distant life a yogi amidst the himalayan snows these glimpses of the past by some dimensionless link also afforded me a glimpse of the future the helpless humiliation of infancy are not banished from my mind i was resentfully conscious of not being able to walk or express myself freely prayerful surges arose within me as i realized my bodily impotence my strong emotional life took silent form as words in many languages among the inward confusion of tongues my ear gradually accustomed itself to the circumambient bengali symbols of my people the beguiling scope of an infant's mind adultly considered limited to toys and toes psychological ferment and my unresponsive body brought me to many options crying spells i recall the general family bewilderment of my distress happier memories too growled in on me my mother's caresses and my first attempts at lisping phrase and toddling step these early triumphs usually forgotten quickly are yet a natural basis of self-confidence my far-reaching memories are not unique many yogis are known to have retained their self-consciousness without interruption by the dramatic transition to and from life and death if man be solely a body its loss indeed places the final period to identity but if prophets down the millenniums spake with truth man is essentially of incorporeal nature the persistent core of human egoity is only temporary allied with sense perception although odd clear memories of infancy are not extremely rare during travels in numerous lands i have listened to early recollections from the lips of voracious men and women i was born in the last decade of the 19th century and passed my first eight years at gorapur this was my birthplace in the united provinces of northeastern india we were eight children four boys and four girls i mukanda lagash was the second son and the fourth child father and mother were bengalis of the kashitria class both were blessed with saintly nature their mutual love tranquil and dignified never expressed itself frivolously a perfect parental harmony was the calm center for the revolving tumult of eight young lives father bhagavati charon gauche was kind grave at times stern loving him dearly we children yet observed a certain reverential distance an outstanding mathematician and logician he was guided principally by his intellect but mother was a queen of hearts and taught us only through love after her death father displayed more of his inner tenderness i noticed then that his gaze often metamorphosed into my mother's in mother's presence we tasted our earliest bittersweet acquaintance with the scriptures tales from the mahabharata and ramayana were resourcefully summoned to meet the exigencies of discipline instruction and chastisement went hand in hand a daily gesture of respect to father was given by mother's dressing us carefully in the afternoons to welcome him home from the office his position was similar to that of a vice president in the bengal negpu railway one of india's largest companies his work involved traveling and our family lived in several cities during my childhood mother held an open hand toward the needy father was also kindly disposed but his respect for law and order extended to the budget one fortnight mother spent in feeding the poor more than father's monthly income all i ask please is to keep your charities within a reasonable limit even a gentle rebuke from her husband was grievous to mother she ordered a hackney carriage not hinting to the children at any disagreement goodbye i am going away to my mother's house an ancient ultimatum we broke into astounded lamentations our material uncle arrived opportunely he whispered to father some sage council garnered no doubt from the ages after father had made a few conciliatory remarks mother happily dismissed the cab thus ended the only trouble i ever noticed between my parents but i recall a characteristic discussion please give me 10 rupees for a helpless woman who has just arrived at the house mother's smile had its own persuasion why 10 rupees one is enough father added a justification when my father and grandparents died suddenly i had my first taste of poverty my only breakfast before walking miles to school was a small banana later at the university i was in such need that i applied to a wealthy judge for aid of one rupee per month he declined remarking that even a rupee is important how bitterly you recall the denial of that rupee mother's heart had an instant logic do you want this woman also to remember painfully your refusal of 10 rupees which she needs urgently you win with the immemorial gesture of vanquished husbands he opened his wallet here is a 10 rupee note give it to her with my good will father tended to first say no to any new proposal his attitude toward a strange woman who so readily enlisted mother's sympathy was an example of his customary caution aversion to instant acceptance typical of the french mind in the west is really only honoring the principle of do reflection i always found father reasonable and evenly balanced his judgments if i could bolster up my numerous requests with one or two good arguments he invariably put the coveted goals in my reach whether it was a vacation trip or a new motorcycle father was a strict disciplinarian to his children in their early years but his attitude toward himself was truly spartan he never visited the theater for instance but sought his recreation in various spiritual practices and in reading the bhagavad-gita shunning all luxuries he would cling to one old pair of shoes until they were useless his sons bought automobiles after they came into popular use but father was always content with a trolley car for his daily ride to the office the accumulation of money for the sake of power was alien to his nature once after organizing the calcutta urban bank he refused to benefit himself by holding any of its shares he had simply wished to perform a civic duty in his spare time several years after father had retired on a pension an english account arrived to examine the books of the bengal negro railroad company the amazed investigator discovered that father had never applied for overdue bonuses he did the work of three men the accountant told the company he has rupees 125 000 owing to him his back compensation the officials presented father with a check for this amount he thought so little about it that he overlooked any mention to the family much later he was questioned by my youngest brother bishnu who noticed a large deposit on the bank statement why be elated by material prophet father replied the one who pursues a goal of even-mindedness is neither jubilant with gain nor depressed by loss he knows that man arrives penniless in this world and departs without a single rupee early in their married life my parents became disciples of a great master larry masha of benares this contact strengthened father's naturally ascetical temperament mother made a remarkable admission to my eldest daughter roma your father and myself lived together as man and wife only once a year for the purpose of having children father first met larry masha through abhish babu an employee in the gorapura office of the bengal negpur railroad abinash instructed my young ears with engrossing tales of many indian saints he invariably concluded with a tribute to the superior glories of his own guru did you ever hear of the extraordinary circumstances under which your father became a disciple of larry masha it was on a lazy summer afternoon as abinash and i stood together in the compound of my home that he put this intriguing question i shook my head with a smile of anticipation years ago before you were born i asked my superior officer your father to give me a week's leave for my goropour duties in order to visit my guru in benares your father ridiculed my plan are you going to become a religious fanatic he inquired concentrate on your office work if you want to forge ahead sadly walking home along a woodland path that day i met your father in a palaquin he dismissed his servants and conveyance and fell into step beside me seeking to console me he pointed out the advantages of striving for worldly success but i heard him listlessly my heart was repeating larry marsha i cannot live without seeing you our path took us to the edge of a tranquil field where the rays of the late afternoon sun were still crowning the tall ripple of the wild grass we paused in admiration there in the field only a few yards from us the form of my great guru suddenly appeared bhagavati you are too hard on your employee his voice was resonant in our astounded ears he vanished as mysteriously as he had come on my knees i was exclaiming larry marsha larry marcia your father was motionless with stupefication for a few moments abinash not only do i give you leave but i give myself leave to start for banaras tomorrow i must know this great larry masha who is able to materialize himself at will in order to intercede for you i will take my wife and ask this master to initiate us in a spiritual path will you guide us to him of course joy filled me at the miraculous answer to my prayer and the quick favorable turn of events the next evening your parents and i entrained for banaras we took a horse cart the following day and then had to walk through narrow lanes to my guru's secluded home entering his little parlor we bowed before the master and locked in his habitual lotus posture he blinked his piercing eyes and leveled him on your father bhagavati you are too hard on your employee his words were the same as those he had used two days before in the gorupura field he added i am glad that you have allowed abinash to visit me and that you and your wife have accompanied him to their joy he initiated your parents into the spiritual practice of kriya yoga your father and i as brother disciples have been close friends since the memorable day of the vision larry masha took a definite interest in your own birth your life shall surely be linked with his own the master's blessing never fails larry masha left his world shortly after i had entered into it his picture in an ornate frame always graced our family altar in the various cities to which father was transferred by his office many a morning and evening found mother and me meditating before an improvised shrine offering flowers dipped in fragrant sandalwood paste with frankincense and myrrh as well as our united devotions we honor the divinity which had found full expression in larry masha his picture had a surpassing influence over my life as i grew the thought of the master grew with me in meditation i would often see his photographic image emerge from its small frame and taking the living form sit before me when i attempted to touch the feet of his luminous body it would change and again become the picture as childhood slipped into boyhood i found larry marshes transformed my mind from a little image cribbed in a frame to a living enlightening presence i frequently prayed to him in moments of trial or confusion finding within me his solace in direction at first i grieved because he was no longer physically living as i began to discover his secret omnipresence i lamented no more he had often written to those of his disciples who were over anxious to see him why come to view my bones in flesh when i am ever within range of your spiritual sight i was blessed at about the age of eight with a wonderful healing through the photograph of larry masha this experience gave intensification to my love while at our family estate in ichipur bengal i was stricken with asiatic cholera my life was despaired of the doctors could do nothing at my bedside mother frantically motioned me to look at larry marsha's picture on the wall above my head bow to him mentally she knew i was too feeble even to lift my hands on salutation if you really show your devotion and inwardly kneel before him your life will be spared i gazed at his photograph and saw there a blinding light enveloping my body in the entire room my nausea and my other uncontrollable symptoms disappeared i was well at once i felt strong enough to bend over and touch mother's feet and appreciation of her measurable faith in her guru mother pressed her head repeatedly against the little picture o omnipresent master i thank thee that thy light hath healed my son i realized that she too had witnessed a luminous blaze through which i had instantly recovered from that usually fatal disease one of my most precious possessions is that same photograph given to father by larry marsh himself it carries a holy vibration the picture had a miraculous origin i heard the story from father's brother disciple kali kumar roy it appears that the master had an inversion being photographed over his protest a group picture was taken of him and a cluster of devotees including kali it was an amazed photographer who discovered at the plate which had clear images of all the disciples revealed nothing more than a blank space in the center where he had reasonably expected to find the outlines of larry masha the phenomena was widely discussed a certain student and expert photographer gangadhar babu boasted that the fugitive figure would not escape him the next morning as the guru sat in lotus posture on a wooden bench with a screen behind him ganga dara babu arrived with his equipment taking every precaution for success he greedily exposed 12 plates on each one he soon found the imprint of the wooden bench banshen screen but once again the master's form was missing with tears and shattered pride ganga dar babu sought out his guru it was many hours before larry masha broke his silence with a pregnant comment i am spirit can your camera reflect the omnipresent invisible i see it cannot but holy sir i lovingly desire a picture of the bodily temple where alone to my narrow vision that spirit appears fully to dwell come then tomorrow morning i will pose for you again the photographer focused his camera this time the sacred figure not cloaked with mysterious imperceptibility was sharp on the plate the master never posed for another picture at least i have seen none the photograph is reproduced in this book larry marsha's fair features of a universal cast hardly suggests to what race he belonged his intense joy of god communion is slightly revealed in a somewhat enigmatic smile his eyes half open to denote a nominal direction of the outer world are half closed also completely oblivious to the poor lures on the earth he was fully awake at all times to the spiritual problems of seekers who approached for his bounty shortly after my healing through the potency of the guru's picture i had an influential spiritual vision sitting on my bed one morning i fell into a deep reverie what is behind the darkness of closed eyes this probing thought came powerfully into my mind an immense flash of light at once manifested to my inward gaze divine shapes of saints city and meditation posture in mountain caves formed like miniature cinema pictures and a large screen of radiance within my forehead who are you i spoke aloud we are the himalayan yogis the celestial response is difficult to describe my heart was thrilled ah i longed to go to the himalayas and become like you the vision vanished but the silvery beams expanded never widening circles to infinity what is this wondrous glow i am ishwara i am light the voice was a murmuring clouds i want to be one with thee out of the slow dwindling of my divine ecstasy i salvaged a permanent legacy of inspiration to see god he is eternal ever new joy this memory persisted long after the day of rapture another early recollection is outstanding and literally so for i bear the scar to this day my elder sister uma and i were seated in the early morning under a neem tree in our gorapur compound she was helping me with the bengali primer what time i could spare my gaze from the nearby parrots eating right maragasa fruit uma complained of a boil on her leg and fetched a jar of ointment i smeared a bit of salve on our forearm why do you use medicine on a healthy arm well says i feel i'm going to have a boil tomorrow i am testing your ointment on the spot where the boil will appear you little liar sis don't call me a liar until you see what happens in the morning indignation filled me uma was unimpressed and thrice repeated her taunt an adamant resolution sounded in my voice as i made slow reply by the power of will in me i say that tomorrow i shall have a fairly large boil in this exact place on my arm and your boil shall swell to twice its present size morning found me with a stalwart boil on my indicated spot the dimension of uma's boil had double with a shriek my sister rushed to mother mukunda has become a necromancer gravely mother instructed me never to use the power of words for doing harm i have always remembered her counsel and followed it my boil was surgically treated a noticeable scar left by the doctor's incision is present today on my right forearm is a constant reminder of the power in man's sheer word those simple and apparently harmless phrases to uma spoken with deep concentration had possessed sufficient hidden force to explode like bombs and produce definite though injurious effects i understood later that the explosive vibratory power and speech could be wisely directed to free one's life from difficulties and thus operate without scar or rebuke our family moved to lahore in the punjab there i acquired a picture of the divine mother in the form of the goddess kali it sanctified a small informal shrine on the balcony of our home an unequivocal conviction came over me that fulfillment would crown any of my prayers uttered in that sacred spot standing there with uma one day i watched two kites flying over the roofs of the building on the opposite side of the very narrow lane why are you so quiet uma pushed me playfully i am just thinking how wonderful it is that divine mother gives me whatever i ask i suppose she would give you those two kites my sister laughed derisively why not i began silent prayers for their possession matches are played in india with kites whose strings are covered with glue and ground glass each player attempts to sever the string of his opponent a freed kite sails over the roofs there is great fun in catching it in as much as um and i were on the balcony it seemed impossible that any loose kite would come into our hands its strings would naturally dangle over the roof the players across the lane began their match one spring was cut immediately the kite floated in my direction it was stationary for a moment through sudden abatement of breeze which sufficed to firmly entangle the string with a cactus plant on top of the opposite house a perfect loop was formed for my seizure i handed the prize to uma it was just an extraordinary accident and not an answer to your prayer if the other kite comes to you then i shall believe sister's dark eyes conveyed more amazement than her words i continued my prayers with a crescendo intensity a forcible tug by the other player resulted in the abrupt loss of his kite it headed toward me dancing in the wind my helpful assistant the cactus plant again secured the kite string the necessary loop by which i could grasp it i presented my second trophy to uma indeed divine mother listens to you this is all too uncanny for me sister bolted away like a frightened fawn end of chapter chapter 2 my mother's death in the mystic amulet my mother's greatest desire was the marriage of my elder brother i'll when i behold the face of anat his wife i shall find heaven on this earth i frequently heard mother expressing these words her strong indian sentiment for family continuity i was about 11 years old at the time of anata's betrothal mother was in calcutta joyously supervising the wedding preparations father and i alone remained at our home in barely in northern india once father had been transferred after two years at lahore i had previously witnessed the splendor of nuptial rights for my two elder sisters roma and uma but for nata as the eldest son plans were truly elaborate mother was welcoming numerous relatives daily arriving in calcutta from distant homes she lodged them comfortably in a large newly acquired house at 50 amherst street everything was in readiness the banquet delicacies the gay throne on which brother was to be carried to the home of the bride-to-be the rose of colorful lights the mammoth cardboard elephants and camels the english scottish and indian orchestras the professional entertainers the priests for the ancient rituals father and i and gala spirits were planning to join the family in time for the ceremony shortly before the great day however i had an ominous vision it was in barely on a midnight as i slept besides father on the piazza of our bungalow i was awakened by a peculiar flutter of the mosquito netting over the bed the flimsy curtains parted and i saw the beloved form of my mother awaken your father her voice was only a whisper take the first available train at four o'clock this morning rush to calcutta if you would see me the wraith-like figure vanished father father mother is dying the tear in my tone aroused him instantly i sobbed out the fatal tidings never mind that hallucination of yours father gave us characteristic negation to a new situation your mother is in excellent health if we get any bad news we shall leave tomorrow you shall never forgive yourself for not starting now anguish cause me to add bitterly nor shall i ever forgive you the melancholy morning came with explicit words mother dangerously ill marriage postponed come at once father and i left distractedly one of my uncle's medicine route at a transfer point a train thundered toward us looming with telescopic increase for my inner tumult an abrupt determination arose to hurl myself on the railroad tracks already bereft i felt of my mother i could not endure a world suddenly barren to the bone i loved mother as my dearest friend on earth her solace in black eyes had been my surest refuge in the trifling tragedies of childhood does she yet lived i stopped for the one last question to my uncle of course she is alive he was not slow to interpret the desperation of my face but i scarcely believed him when we reached our calcutta home it was only to confront the stunning mystery of death i collapsed into an almost lifeless state years passed before any reconciliation entered my heart storming the very gates of heaven my cries at last summon a divine mother her words brought final healing to my supporting wounds it is i who have watched over thee life after life in the tenderness of many mothers see in my gaze the two black eyes the lost beautiful eyes thou seekest father and i returned to barely soon after their crematory rites for the well-beloved early every morning i made a pathetic memorial pilgrimage to a large yoli tree which shaded the smooth green gold lawn before our bungalow in poetical moments i thought that the white shield flowers were stirring themselves with a willing devotion over the grassy altar mingling tears with the dew i often observed a strange otherworldly light emerging from the dawn intense pangs of longing for god assailed me i felt powerfully drawn to the himalayas one of my cousins fresh from a period of travel in the holy hills visited us in barely i listened eagerly to his tales about the high mountain abode of yogis and swamis let us run away to the himalayas my suggestion one day to dwarf prasad the young son of our landlord and barely fell on unsympathetic ears he revealed my plan to my elder brother who would just arrive to see father instead of laughing lightly over this impractical scheme of a small boy anata made it a definite point to ridicule me where is your orange robe you can't be a swami without that but i was inexplicably thrilled by his words they brought a clear picture of myself roaming about india as a monk perhaps they awakened memories of a past life in any case i began to see what natural ease that would wear the garb of that anciently founded monastic order chatting one morning with dwarka i felt a love for god descending with avalanche force my companion was only partly attentive to the ensuing eloquence but i was wholeheartedly listening to myself i fled that afternoon toward nani tall and himalayan foothills anata gave determined chase i was forced to return sadly to barely the only pilgrimage permitted me was the customary wanted down to the shioli tree my heart wept for the lost mothers human and divine the rent left in the family fabric by mother's death was irreparable father never remarried during his nearly 40 remaining years assuming the difficult role of father mother to his little flock he grew noticeably more tender more approachable with calmness and insight he solved the various family problems after office hours he retired like a hermit to the cell of his room practicing kriya yoga in his sweet serenity long after mother's death i attempted to engage an english nurse to attend to details that would make my parents life more comfortable but father shook his head service to me ended with your mother his eyes were remote with a lifelong devotion i will not accept ministrations from any other woman fourteen months after mother's passing i learned that she had left me a momentous message anatta was present at her deathbed and had recorded her words although she had asked that the disclosure he made to me in one year my brother delayed he was soon to leave barely for calcutta to marry the girl mother had chosen for him one evening he summoned me to his side mukunda i have been reluctant to give you strange tidings and not his tone held a note of resignation my fear was to inflame your desire to leave home but in any case you are bristling with divine ardor when i captured you recently on your way to the himalayas i came to a definite resolve i must not further postpone the fulfillment of my solemn promise my brother handed me a small box and delivered mother's message let these words be my final blessing my beloved son wakanda mother had said the hour is here when i must relate a number of phenomenal events following your birth i first knew your destined path when you were but a babe in my arms i carried you then to the home of my guru and benares almost hidden behind the throng of disciples i could barely see larry marsha as he sat in deep meditation while i patted you i was praying that the guru take notice and bestow a blessing as my silent devotional demand grew in intensity he opened his eyes and beckoned me into approach the others made a way for me i bowed at the sacred feet my master seated you on his lap placing his hand on your forehead by way of spiritually baptizing you little mother thy son will be a yogi as a spiritual engine he will carry many souls to god's kingdom my heart leap with joy to find my secret prayer granted by the omniscient guru shortly before your birth he had told me you would follow his path later my son your vision of the great light was known to me in your sister roma as from the next room we observed you motionless on bed your little face was illuminated your voice rang with iron resolve as you spoke of going to the himalayas in quest of the divine in these ways dear son i came to know that you wrote lies far from worldly ambition the most singular event in my life brought further confirmation an event which now impels my deathbed message it was an interview with a sage in the punjab while our family was living in lahore one morning the servant came precipitately in my room mistress a strange sadhu is here he insists that he see the mother of mukhanda these simple words struck a profound cord within me i went at once to greet the visitor bowing at his feet i sense it before me was a true man of god mother he said the great masters wish you to know that your stay on earth will not be long your next illness shall prove to be your last there was a silence during which i felt no alarm but only a vibration of great peace finally he addressed me again you are to be the custodian of a certain silver amulet i will not give it to you today to demonstrate the truth in my words the talisman shall materialize in your hands tomorrow as you meditate on your deathbed you must instruct your eldest son anata to keep the amulet for one year and then to hand it over to your second son mukunda will understand the meaning of the talisman from the great ones he should receive it about the time he is ready to renounce all worldly hopes and start his vital search for god when he has retained the amulet for some years and when it has served its purpose it shall vanish even if kept in the most secret spot it shall return once it came i proffered alms to the saint and bowed before him in great reverence not taking the offering he departed with a blessing the next evening as i sat with folded hands in meditation a silver amulet materialized between my palms even as a sadhu had promised it made itself known by a cold smooth touch i have jealously guarded it for more than two years and now leave it to another's keeping do not grieve for me as i shall have been ushered by my great guru into the arms of the infinite farewell my child the cosmic mother will protect you a blaze of illumination came over with possession of the amulet many dormant memories awakened the talisman round and anciently quaint was covered with sanskrit characters i understood that it came from teachers of past lives who were invisibly guiding my steps a further significance there was indeed but one does not reveal fully the heart of an amulet how the talisman finally vanished amidst deeply unhappy circumstances of my life and how its loss was a herald of my gain of a guru cannot be told in this chapter but the small boy thwarted in his attempts to reach the himalayas daily traveled far on the wings of his amulet end of chapter chapter 3 the saint with two bodies father if i promise to return home without coercion may i take a sightseeing trip to benares my keen love of travel was seldom hindered by father he permitted me even as a mere boy to visit many cities and pilgrimage spots usually one or more of my friends accompanied me he would travel comfortably on first class passes provided by father his position as a railroad official was fully satisfactory to the nomads in the family father promised to give my request due consideration the next day he summoned me and held out a round-trip pass from barely to benares a number of rupee notes and two letters i have a business matter to propose to benara's friend kerr nath babu unfortunately i have lost his address but i believe you will be able to get this letter to him through our common friend swami prana banana the swami my brother disciple has attained an exalted spiritual stature you will benefit by his company his second note will serve as your introduction father's eyes twinkled as he added mind no more flights from home i set forth with a zeal of my twelve years though times have never dimmed my delight in new scenes and strange faces reaching benares i proceeded immediately to the swami's residence the front door was open i made my way to a long hall-like room on the second floor a rather stout man wearing only a loincloth was seated in lotus posture on a slightly raised platform his head and unwrinkled face were clean shaven a beautiful smile played on his lips to dispel my thought that i had intruded he greeted me as an old friend baba anand bliss to my dear one his welcome was given heartedly in a childlike voice i knelt and touched his feet are you swami prana bananda he nodded are you bhagavati's son his words were out before i had time to get father's letter from my pocket in astonishment i handed him the note of introduction which now seems superfluous of course i will locate ketur nath babu foyu the saint again surprised me by his clairvoyance he glanced at the letter and made a few affectionate references to my parents you know i am enjoying two pensions one is by the recommendation of your father for whom i once worked in the railroad office the other is by the recommendation of my heavenly father for whom i have conscientiously finished my earthly duties in life i have found this remark very obscure what kind of pension sir do you receive from the heavenly father does he drop money in your lap he laughed i mean a pension of fathomless peace a reward for many years of deep meditation i never crave money now my few material needs are amply provided for later you will understand the significance of a second pension abruptly determining our conversation the saint became gravely motionless a sphinx-like air enveloped him at first his eyes sparkled as if observing something of interest then grew dull i felt a bashed at his basilicui but he had not yet told me how i could meet father's friend a trifle restlessly i looked about me in the bare room empty except for us too my idle gaze took in his wooden sandals lying under the platform seat little sir don't get worried the man you wish to see will be with you in half an hour the yogi was reading my mind a feat not too difficult at the moment again he fell into inscrutable silence my watch informed me that thirty minutes had elapsed the swami aroused himself i think keternath babu was nearing the door i heard somebody coming up the stairs and amazed in comprehension arose suddenly my thoughts raised in confusion how is it possible that father's friend has been summoned to this place without the help of a messenger the swami has spoken to no one about myself since my arrival abruptly i quitted the room and descended the steps halfway down i met a thin fair-skinned man of medium height he appeared to be in a hurry are you kidding babu excitement colored my voice yes are you not bhagabati's son who has been waiting here to meet me he smiled in friendly fashion sir how do you happen to come here i felt baffle resentment over his inexplicable presence everything is mysterious today less than an hour ago i just finished my bath in the ganges when swami prana banana approached me i have no idea how he knew i was there at that time bhagavati's son is waiting for you in my apartment he said will you come with me i gladly agreed and we proceeded hand in hand the swami in his wooden sandals was strangely able to outpace me though i wore those stout walking shoes how long will it take you to reach my place prana bananaji suddenly halted to ask me this question about half an hour i have something else to do at present he gave me an enigmatic glance i must leave you behind you can join me in my house work bhagavati's son and i will be awaiting you before i could remonstrate he dashed swiftly past me and disappeared into the crowd i walked here as fast as possible this explanation only increased my bewilderment i inquired how long he had known the swami we met a few times last year but not recently i was very glad to see him again today at the bathing got i cannot believe my ears am i losing my mind did you meet him in a vision or did you actually see him touch his hand and hear the sound of his feet i don't know what you're driving at he flushed angrily i'm not lying to you can't you understand it only through the swami could i have known you were waiting at this place for me why that man swami prana banana has not left my sight a moment since i first came here an hour ago i blurted out the whole story his eyes opened widely are we living in this material age or are we dreaming i never expected to witness such a miracle in my life i thought this swami was just an ordinary man and now i find he can materialize an extra body and work through it together we entered the saints room look these are the very sandals he was wearing at the got keternath bob whispered he was clad only in a loincloth just as i see him now as the visitors bowed before him the saint turned to me with a quizzical smile why are you stupefied at all this the subtle unity of the phenomenal world is not hidden from two yogis i instantly see and converse with my disciples in distant calcutta they are similarly transcended will every obstacle of gross matter it was probably in an effort to stir spiritual ardor in my young breast that the swami had condescended to tell me of his powers of astral radio and television but instead of enthusiasm i experienced only an awe-stricken fear inasmuch as i was destined to undertake my divine search through one particular guru sri yakushwar whom i had not yet met i felt no inclination to accept prana banana as my teacher i glanced at him doubtfully wondering if it were he or his counterpart before me the master sought to banish my disquietude by bestowing a soul-awakening gaze and by some inspiring words about his guru larry masha was the greatest yogi i ever knew he was divinity itself in the form of flesh if a disciple i reflected could materialize an extra fleshy form at will what miracles indeed could be barred to his master i will tell you how priceless is a guru's help i used to meditate with another disciple for eight hours every night we had to work at the railroad office during the day finding difficult and carrying on my clerical duties i desired to devote my whole time to god for eight years i persevered meditating half the night i had wonderful results tremendous spiritual perceptions illumined my mind but a little veil always remained between me and the infinite even with superhuman earnestness i found the final irrevocable union to be denied me one evening i paid a visit to larry masha and pleaded for his divine intercession my importunities continued during the entire night angelic guru my spiritual anguish is such that i can no longer bear my life without meeting the great beloved face to face what can i do you must meditate me more profoundly i am appealing to thee oh god my master i see thee materialize before me in a physical form bless me that i may perceive thee in thy infinite form larry marcia extended his hands in a benign gesture you may go now and meditate i have interceded for you with brahma immeasurably uplifted i returned to my home in meditation at night the burning goal of my life was achieved now i ceasely enjoy the spiritual pension never from that day has the blissful creator remained hidden from my eyes behind any screen of illusion prana banana's face was suffused with divine light the peace of another world entered my heart all fear had fled the saint made of further confidence some months later i returned to larry masha and tried to thank him for his bestowal of the infinite gift then i mentioned another matter divine guru i can no longer work in the office please release me brahma keeps me continuously intoxicated apply for a pension from your company what reason shall i give so early in my service say what you feel the next day i made my application the doctor inquired the grounds for my premature request at work i find an overpowering sensation rising in my spine it permeates my whole body unfitting me for the performance of my duties without further questioning the physician recommended me highly for a pension which i soon received i know the divine will of lahari masha work through the doctor and the railroad officials including your father automatically they obeyed the great guru's spiritual direction and freed me for a life of unbroken communion with the beloved after this extraordinary revelation swami prana banana retired into one of his long silences as i was taking leave touching his feet reverently he gave me his blessing your life belongs to the path of renunciation and yoga i shall see you again with your father later on the years brought fulfillment to both these predictions caterinath babu walked by my side in the gathering darkness i delivered father's letter with my companion red under a streetlight your father suggests that i take position in the calcutta office of his railroad company how pleasant to look forward to at least one of the pensions that swami pranabananda enjoys but it is impossible i cannot leave benaras alas two bodies are not yet for me end of chapter chapter four my interrupted flight toward the himalayas leave your classroom of some trifling pretext and engage a hackney carriage stop in the lane where no one in my house can see you these were my final instructions to amar mitter a high school friend who planned to accompany me to the himalayas we had chosen the following day for our flight precautions were necessary as anata exercised a vigil die he was determined to foil the plans of escape which he suspected were uppermost in my mind the amulet like a spiritual yeast was silently at work within me amidst the himalayan snows i hoped to find the master whose face often appeared to me in visions the family was now living in calcutta where father had been permanently transferred following the patriarchal indian custom anatos brought his bride to live in our home now at four grouper road there is a small attic room i engaged in daily meditations and prepared my mind for the divine search the memorable morning arrived when inauspicious rain hearing the wheels of amar's carriage in the road i hastily tied together a blanket a pair of sandals larry marsha's picture a copy of the bhagavad-gita a string of parabeds and two loincloth this bundle i threw my third story window i ran down the steps and passed my uncle buying fish at the door what is the excitement his gaze rolled suspiciously over my person i gave him a non-committal smile and walked to the lane retrieving my bundle i joined amar with conspiratorial caution we drove to choc a merchandise center for months we had been saving our tiffin money to buy english clothes knowing that my clever brother could easily play the part of detective we thought to outwit him by european garb on the way to the station we stopped for my cousin jotun gosh whom i called jatinda he was a new convert looking for a guru in the himalayas he don the new suit we had in readiness well camouflaged we hope a depolation possessed our hearts all we need now are canvas shoes i led my companions to a shop display in rubber soled footwear articles of leather gotten only through the slaughter of animals must be absent on this holy trip i halted on the street to remove the leather's cover from my bhagavad-gita and the leather straps from my english made sola topi at the station we bought tickets to berwan where we planned to transfer to hardware in the himalayan foothills as soon as a train like ourselves was in flight i gave utterance to a few of my glorious anticipations just imagine i ejaculated we shall be initiated by the masters and experience the trance of cosmic consciousness our flesh will be charged with such magnetism that wild animals of the himalayas will come tamely near us tigers will know more than meek house cats awaiting our cross this remark picturing a prospect i considered entrancing both metaphorically and literally brought an enthusiastic smile from amarr butcher tinda averted his gaze directing it through the window at the scamp brain landscape let the money be divided in three portions jatinda broke along silence with a suggestion each of us should buy his own ticket at bird one thus no one at the station will surmise that we are running away together i unsuspectedly agreed at dusk our train stopped at bird one jatinda entered the ticket office amir and i sat on the platform we waited 15 minutes then made unavailing inquiries searching in all directions we shouted jatinda's name with the urgency of fright but he had faded into the dark unknown surroundings a little station i was completely unnerved shocked to a peculiar numbness that god would countenance this depressing episode the romantic occasion of my first carefully planned flight after him was cruelly marred amar we must return home i was weeping like a child jatinda's callous departure is an ill omen this trip is doomed to failure is this your love for the lord can't you stand the little test of a treacherous companion through omar's suggestion of a divine test my heart studied itself we refreshed ourselves with famous bird wine sweet meats citabog food for the goddess and moti chor nuggets of sweet pearl in a few hours we entrained for hardware via barley changing trains at mogul sorai we discussed a vital matter as we waited on the platform amar we may soon be closely questioned by railroad officials i am not underrating my brother's ingenuity no matter what the outcome i will not speak on truth all i ask of you mukunda is to keep still don't laugh or grin why i'm talking at this moment a european agent accosted me he waved a telegram whose import i immediately grasped are you running away from home and anger no i was glad his choice of words permitted me to make empathetic reply not anger but divinest melancholy was responsible i knew from my unconventional behavior the official len turned to amar the duel of wits that followed hardly permitted me to maintain the counseled stoic gravity where is the third boy the man injected a full ring of authority into his voice come on speak the truth sir i notice you are wearing eyeglasses can't you see that we are only two amar smiled impudently i am not a magician i can't conjure up a third companion the official noticeably disconcerted by his impertinence sought a new field of attack what is your name i am called thomas i am the son of an english mother and a converted christian indian father what is your friend's name i call him thompson by this time my inward mirth had reached a zenith i unceremoniously made for the train whistling for departure amar followed with the official who was credulous and obliging enough to put us into a european compartment it evidently pained him to think of two half english boys traveling in a section a lot of to natives after his polite exit i lay back on the seat and laughed uncontrollably my friend wore an expression of blythe satisfaction at having outwitted a veteran european official on the platform i had contrived to read the telegram from my brother it went to us three bengali boys in english clothes running away from home toward hardware via mogul sarai please detain them until my arrival ample reward for your services amar i told you not to leave marked timetables in your home my glance was reproachful brother must have found one there my friend sheepishly acknowledged the thrust we halted briefly and barely where dwarka prasad awaited us with a telegram from anata my old friend tried valiantly to detain us i convinced him that our flight had not been undertaken lightly as on a previous occasion dwarka refused my invitation to set forth to the himalayas while our train stood in a station that night and i was half asleep amar was awakened by another question official he too fell victim to the hybrid charms of thomas and thompson the train boris triumphantly into a dawn arrival at hardware the majestic mountains loomed invitingly in the distance we dashed through the station and entered the freedom of city crowds our first act was to change into native costume as another was somewhat penetrated our european disguise a premonition of capture weighed on my mind deeming it advisable to leave hardware at once we bought tickets to proceed north to rishkesh a soil long hollowed by feet of many masters i had already boarded a train while amar lagged on a platform he was brought to an abrupt halt by a shout from a policeman our unwelcome guardian escorted us to a station bungalow and took charge of our money he explained courteously that it was his duty to hold us until my elder brother arrived learning to truance destination had been the himalayas the officer related a strange story i see you are crazy about saints you will never meet a greater man of god than the one i saw only yesterday my brother officer and i first encountered him five days ago we were patrolling by the ganges on the sharp lookout for a certain murder our instructions were to capture him alive or dead he was known to be masquerading as a sadhu in order to rob pilgrims a short way before us we spied a figure which resembled the description of the criminal he ignored our command to stop we ran to overpower him approaching his back i wielded my axe with tremendous force the man's right arm was severed almost completely from his body without outcry or any glance at the ghastly wound the stranger astonishingly continued his swift pace as we jumped in front of him he spoke quietly i am not the murderer you are seeking i was deeply mortified to see i had injured the person of a divine looking sage prostrating myself at his feet i implored his pardon and offered my turban cloth to staunch the heavy spurts of blood son that was just an understandable mistake on your part the saint regarded me kindly run along and don't reproach yourself the beloved mother is taking care of me he paused his dangling arm into its stomp and low it adhered the blood inexplicably ceased to flow come to me under yonder tree in three days and you will find me fully healed thus you will feel no remorse yesterday my brother officer and i went eagerly to the destinated spot the sadhu was there and allowed us to examine his arm it bore no scar or trace of hurt i am going via risk to the himalayan solitudes he blessed us as he departed quickly i feel that my life has been uplifted through his sanctity the officer concluded with pious ejaculation his experience had obviously moved him beyond his usual depth with an impressive gesture he handed me a printed clipping about the miracle it is the usual garbled manner of the sensational type of newspaper not missing alas even in india the reporter's version was slightly exaggerated it indicated that sadhu had almost been decapitated amar and i lamented that we had missed the great yogi who could forgive his persecutor in such a christ-like way india materially poor for the last two centuries yet has an inexhaustible fund of divine wealth spiritual skyscrapers may occasionally be encountered by the wayside even by worldly men like this policeman we thank the officer for relieving our tedium with this marvelous story he was probably intimating that he was far more fortunate than we he had met an illumined saint without effort our earnest search had ended not at the feet at the master but in a coarse police station so near the himalayas and yet in our captivity so far i told armar i felt doubtly impelled to seek freedom let us slip away when opportunity offers we can go on foot to holy risk cash i smiled encouragingly but my companion had turned pessimist as soon as a stalwart prop of our money had been taken from us if we started a track over such dangerous jungle land we should finish not in the city of saints but in the stomachs of tigers anata and amar's brother arrived after three days amar greeted his relatives with affections relief i was unreconciled anata got no more for me than a severe uprighting i understand how you feel my brother spoke soothingly all i ask of you is to accompany me to benares to meet a certain saint and go on to calcutta to visit your grieving father for a few days then you can resume your search here for a master amar entered the conversation at this point to disclaim any intention of returning to hardware with me he was enjoying the familial warmth but i knew i would never abandon the quest for my guru our party entrained for benares there i had a singular and instant response to my prayers a clever scheme had been pre-arranged by anata before seeing me at hardware he had stopped in banaras to ask a certain scriptural authority to interview me later both the pundit and his son had promised to undertake my dissuasion from the path of a sanyasa anyata took me to their home the son a young man of amulet manor greeted me in a courtyard he engaged me in a lengthy philosophical discourse professing to have a clairvoyant knowledge of my future he discounted my idea of being a monk you will meet continual misfortune and be unable to find god if you insist on deserting your ordinary responsibilities you cannot work out your own past karma without worldly experiences krsna's immortal words rose to my lips in reply even he with the worst of karma who ceasely meditates on me quickly loses the effect of his past bad action becoming a high soul being he soon attains perennial peace arjuna know this for certain the devotee who puts his trust in me never perishes but the forceful procrastinations of the young man had slightly shaken my confidence with all the fervor of my heart i pray silently to god please solve my bewilderment and answer me right here and now if thou dost desire me to lead the life of a renunciant our worldly man i noticed a sadhu of noble countenance standing just outside the compound of the pundit's home evidently he had overheard the spiritual conversation between the self-styled clairvoyant and myself for the stranger called me to a sign i felt a tremendous power flowing from his calm eyes son don't listen to that ignoramus in response to your prayer the lord tells me to assure you that your soul path in his life is that of the renunciate with astonishment as well as gratitude i smiled happily at this decisive message come away from that man the ignoramus was calling me from the courtyard my saintly guide raised his hands in blessing and slowly departed that sadhu is just as crazy as you are it was the hoary headed pundit who made this charming observation he and his son were gazing at me liguriously i heard that he too has left his home in a vague search for god i turned away tonight i remarked that i would not engage in further discussion with our host my brother agreed to an immediate departure we soon entrained for calcutta mr detective how did you discover i had fled with two companions i vented my lively curiosity to anata during our homework journey he smiled mischievously at your school i found that emmar had left his classroom and had not returned i went to his home the next morning and unearthed a marked timetable amir's father was leaving by carriage and was talking to the coachman my son will not ride with me to school this morning he has disappeared the father moaned i heard from a brother coachman that your son and two others dressed in european suits boarded the train at howard station the man stated they made a present of their leather shoes to the cab driver thus i had three clues the timetable the trio of boys and the english clothing i was listening to anata's disclosure with mingled mirth and vexation our generosity to the coachmen had been slightly misplaced of course i rushed to send telegrams to station officials in all the cities which armor had underlined in the timetable he had checked barely so i wired your friend dwarka there after inquiries in our calcutta neighborhood i learned that cousin gentina had been absent one night but had arrived home the following morning in european garb i sought him out and invited him to dinner he accepted quite disarmed but my friendly manner on the way i led him unsuspectingly to a police station he was surrounded by several officers whom i had previously selected for their ferocious appearance under their formidable gaze jatenda agreed to account for this mysterious conduct i started for the himalayas in a buoyant spiritual maori exclaimed inspiration filled me with the prospect of meeting the masters but as soon as mukanda said during our ecstasies in the himalaya caves tigers will be spellbound and sit around us like tame my spirits froze beads of perspiration formed on my brow what then i thought if the vicious nature of the tigers be not changed to the power of our spiritual trance shall they treat us with the kindness of house cats in my mind's eye i already saw myself the compulsory inmate of some tiger's stomach entering there not at once with the whole body but by installments of its several parts my anger at jatinda's vanishment was evaporated into laughter the hilarious sequel on the train was worth all the anguish he had caused me i must confess to a slight feeling of satisfaction jacinda ii had not escaped an encounter with the police anata you were a born sleuth hound my glance of amusement was not without some exasperation and i shall tell jatinda i am glad he was prompted by no mood of treachery as it appeared but only by the prudent instinct of self-preservation at home in calcutta father touchingly requested me to curb my roving's feet until at least the completion of my high school studies in my absence he had lovingly hatched a plot by arranging for a saintly pundit swami kubala linda to come regularly to the house the sage will be your sanskrit tutor my parent announced confidently father hoped to satisfy my religious yearnings by instruction from a learned philosopher but the tables were subtly turned my new teacher far from offering intellectual art of teas fanned the embers of my god aspiration unknown to father swami kabalanda was an exalted disciple of larry masha the peerless guru had possessed thousands of disciples silently drawn to him by the irresistibility of his divine magnetism i learned later that larry masha had often characterized kebalanda as a rishi or illuminated sage luxurian curls framed my tudor's handsome face his dark eyes were guileless with the transparency of a child's all the movements of a slight body were marked by a restful deliberation ever gentle and loving he was firmly established in the infinite consciousness many of our happy hours together were spent in deep kriya meditation kabalanda was a noted authority on the ancient shastras or sacred books his erudition had earned him the title of shastri mahayasha by which he was usually addressed but my progress in sanskrit scholarship was unnoteworthy i sought every opportunity to forsake hosea grammar and to talk of yoga and larry masha my tutor obliged me one day by telling me something of his own life with the master rarely fortunate i was able to remain near larry masha for 10 years his benaris home was my nightly goal of pilgrimage the guru was always present in a small front parlor of the first floor as he sat in lotus position on a backless wooden seat his disciples garland him in a semicircle his eyes sparkled and danced with the joy of the divine they were ever half closed peering through the inner telescopic orb into a sphere of eternal bliss he seldom spoke at length occasionally his gaze would focus on a student in need of help healing words poured then like an avalanche of light an indescribable piece blossomed within me at the master's glance i was permeated with his fragrance as though from a lotus of infinity to be with him even without exchanging a word for days was experience which changed my entire being if any invisible barrier rose in the path of my concentration i would meditate at my guru's feet there the most tenuous states came easily within my grasp such perceptions eluded me in the presence of lesser teachers the master was a living temple of god whose secret doors were open to all disciples through devotion larry moshe was no bookish interpreter of the scriptures effortlessly he dipped into the divine library foam of words and spray of thoughts gushed from the fountain of his omniscience he had the wondrous clevis which unlocked the profound philosophical science embedded ages ago on the vedas if asked to explain the different planes of consciousness mention an ancient text he would simply ascend i will undergo these states and presently tell you what i perceive he was thus diametrically unlike the teachers who commit scripture to memory and then give forth unrealized abstractions please expound the holy stanzas as the meaning occurs to you the taciturn guru often gave this instruction to a nearby disciple i will guide your thoughts that the right interpretation be uttered in this way many of larry marsha's perceptions came to be recorded with voluminous commentaries by various students the master never counseled slavish belief words are only shells he said win conviction of god's presence through your own joyous contact and meditation no matter what the disciples problems the guru of eyes kriya yoga for its solution the yogic ki will not lose its efficiency when i am no longer present in the body to guide you this technique cannot be bound filed and forgotten in the manner of theoretical inspirations continue ceaselessly on your path to liberation through kriya whose power lies in practice i myself considered kriya the most effective device of salvation through self-effort ever to be evolved in man's search for the infinite kebalanda concluded with his earnest testimony through its use the omnipotent god hidden in all men become visible incarnated in the flesh of larry marsha and a number of his disciples a christ-like miracle by larry marsha took place in kevalanda's presence my saintly tudor recounted the story one day his eyes remote from the sanskrit text before him a blind disciple ramu arised my act of pity should he have no light in his eyes when he faithfully served our master in whom the divine was fully blazing one morning i sought to speak to ramu but he sat for patient hours fanning the guru with a handmade palm leaf when the devotee finally left the room i followed him ramu how long have you been blind for my birth sir never have my eyes been blessed with a glimpse of the sun omnipotent guru can help you please make a supplication the following day ramu definitely approached lari masha the disciple felt almost ashamed to ask that physical wealth be added to a spiritual and super abundance master the illuminate of the cosmos is in you i pray you to bring his light into my eyes that i perceive the sun's lesser glow ramu someone has convinced you to put me in a difficult position i have no healing power sir the infinite one within you can certainly heal that is indeed different ramo god's limit is nowhere he who ignites the stars and the cells of flesh with mysterious life effluence can surely bring lustre of vision into your eyes the master touched ramu's forehead at the point between the eyebrows keep your mind concentrated there and frequently chant the name of the prophet rama for seven days the splendor of the son shall have a special dawn for you lo in one week it was soul for the first time ramu beheld the face fair of nature the omniscient one had anirian directed his disciple to repeat the name of rama adored by him above all other saints ramu's faith was a devotionally plowed soil in which the guru's powerful seed of permanent healing sprouted kebalanda was silent for a moment and paid a further tribute to his guru it was evident in all miracles performed by larry masha that he never allowed the ego principle to consider itself a causative power by perfection of resistless surrender the master enabled the prime healing power to flow freely through him the numerous bodies which were spectacularly healed through larry masha eventually had to feed the flames of cremation but the silent spiritual awakening he affected the christ-like disciples he fashioned are his imperishable miracles i never became a sanskrit scholar kavalanda taught me a diviner syntax end of chapter chapter 5 a perfume saint displays his wonders to everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven i did not have this wisdom of solomon to comfort me i gazed searchingly about me on any excursion from home for the face of my destined guru but my path did not cross his until after the completion of my high school studies two years elapsed between my flight with the mayor toward the himalayas and the great day of sri yukteswar's arrival into my life during that interim i had met a number of sages the perfume saint the tiger swami nagendra nath baduri master mayasa and the famous bengali scientist jagadis chandra bose my encounter with the perfume saint had two preambles one harmonious and the other humorous god is simple everything else is complex do not seek absolute values in the relative world of nature these philosophical finalities gently entered my ears i stood silent before a temple image of kali turning i confronted a tall man whose garb or lack of it revealed him a wandering sadhu you have indeed penetrated the bewilderment of my thoughts i smiled gratefully the confusion of benign and terrible aspects in nature as symbolized by kali has puzzled wiser heads and mind few there be who solve her mystery good and evil as a challenging riddle with life places sphinx like before every intelligence attempting no solution most men pay forfoot with their lives penalty now even as in the days of thieves here and there a towering lonely figure never cries defeat from the my of duality he plucks the cleaverless truth of unity you speak with conviction sir i have long exercise and honest introspection the exquisitely painful approach to wisdom self-scrutiny relentless observance of one's thought is a stark and shattering experience it pulverizes the stoutest ego but true self-analysis mathematically operates to produce seers the way of self-expression individual acknowledgements results and egoists sure of the right to their private interpretations of god in the universe truth humbly retires no doubt before such arrogant originality i was enjoying the discussion man can understand no eternal verity until he has freed himself from pretension the human mind barred to a centuried slime is teeming with repulsive life of countless world illusions struggles of the battlefields pale and insignificance here when man first contends with inward enemies no mortal foes these to be overcome by heroin array of might omnipresent unresting pursuing man even in sleep subtly equipped with a miasmic weapon these soldiers of ignorant lost seek to slay us all thoughtless is the man who buries his ideals surrendering to the common fate can he seem other than impotent wooden ignominious respected sir have you no sympathy for the bewildered masses the sage was silent for a moment and answered obliquely to love both the invisible god repository of all virtues and visible man apparently possessed of none is often baffling but ingenuity is equal to the maze inner research soon exposes the unity in all human minds the stalwart kinship of selfish motive in one sense at least the brotherhood of man stands revealed and aghast humility follows his leveling discovery it ripens into compassion for one's fellows blind to the healing potencies of the soul-awaiting exploration the saints of every age sir have felt like yourself for the sorrows of the world only the shallow man loses responsiveness to the woes of other's life as he sinks into narrowing suffering as his own the sadhu's austere face was noticeably softened the one who practices a scalpel self-dissection will know an expansion of universal pity release is given him from the deafening demands of his ego the love of god flowers on such soil the creature finally turns to his creator if for no other reason to ask in anguish why lord why by ignoble whips of pain man is driven at last into the infinite presence whose beauty alone should lure him the sage and i were present in calcutta's kaligat temple whether i had gone to view its famed magnificence with a sweeping gesture my chance companion dismissed the ornate dignity bricks and mortars sing us no audible tone the heart opens only to the human chant of being we stroll to the inviting sunshine at the entrance where throngs of devotees were passing to and fro you are young the sage surveyed me thoughtfully india too is young the ancient rishis laid down in irredentable patterns of spiritual living their horry dictum suffice for this day and land not outmoded not unsophisticated against the guiles of materialism the disciplinary precepts mold india still by millenniums more than embarrassed scholars care to compute the skeptic time has validated vedic worth take it for your heritage as i was reverently bidding farewell to the eloquent sadhu he revealed a clairvoyant perception after you leave here today an unusual experience will come your way i quit the temple precinct and wandered along aimlessly turning the corner i ran into an old acquaintance once to those long-winded fellows whose conversational powers ignore time and embrace eternity i will let you go in a very short while if you will tell me all that has happened during the six years of our separation what a paradox i must leave you now but he held me by the hand forcing out tidbits of information he was like a ravenous wolf i thought an amusement the longer i spoke the more hungrily he sniffed for news inwardly i petitioned the goddess collie to devise a graceful means of escape my companion left me abruptly i sighed with relief and doubled my pace dreading any relapse into the garrulous fever hearing rapid footsteps behind me i quicken my speed i dared not to look back but with a bound the youth rejoined me jovily clasping my shoulder i forgot to tell you of ganda baba perfume saint who was grace in yonder house he pointed to a dwelling a few yards distance do meet him he is interesting you may have an unusual experience goodbye and he actually left me the similarly worded prediction of the sadhu at khalid temple flashed to my mind definitely intrigued i entered the house and was ushered into a commodious parlor a crowd of people were sitting orient wise here and there in a thick orange colored carpet an odd whisper reached my ear behold ganga baba on the leopard skin he can give the natural perfume of any flower to the scentless one or revive a wilted blossom or make a person's skin exude delightful fragrance i looked directly at the saint his quick gaze rested on mine he was plump and bearded with dark skin and large gleaming eyes son i am glad to see you say what you want would you like some perfume what for i thought is remark rather childish to experience the miraculous ways of enjoying perfume harnessing god to make odors what of it god makes perfume anyway yes but he fashions frail bottles of petals for fresh use and discard can you materialize flowers i materialize perfumes little friend then scent factories will go out of business i will permit them to keep their trade my own purpose is to demonstrate the power of god sir is it necessary to prove god isn't he performing miracles and everything everywhere yes but we too should manifest some of his infinite creative variety how long did it take you to master your art 12 years for manufacturing sense by astral means it seems my honest state you've been wasting a dozen years for fragrances which you could obtain for a few rupees from a florist shop perfumes fade with flowers perfumes fade with death why should i desire that which pleases the body only mr philosopher you please my mind now stretch forth your right hand he made a gesture of blessing i was a few feet away from ghana baba no one else was near enough to contact my body i extended my hand which a yogi did not touch what perfume do you want rose be it so to my great surprise the charming fragrance of rose was wafted strongly from the center of my palm i smilingly took a large white setless flower from nearby vase can this odorless blossom be permeated with jasmine be it so a jasmine fragrance instantly shot from the petals i thanked the wonder worker and seated myself by one of his students he informed me that ganda baba whose proper name was vishuddhananda had learned many astonishing yoga secrets from a master in tibet the tibetan yoga i was assured had attained the age of over a thousand years his disciple gandha baba does not always perform its perfume feet in the simple verbal manner you've just witnessed the student spoke with obvious pride in his master his procedure differs widely to accord with diversity and temperaments he is marvelous many members of the calcutta intelligence are among his followers i inwardly resolved not to add myself to their numbers a guru too literally marvelous was not to my liking with polite thanks to ganda baba i departed sauntering home i reflected on the three varied encounters the day had brought forth my sister uma met me as i entered our grouper road door you are getting quite stylish using perfumes without a word i motioned her to smell my hand what an attractive rose fragrance it is unusually strong thinking it was strongly unusual i silently placed the astrally scented blossom under her nostrils oh i love jasmine she sees the flower a ludicrous bafflement passed over her face as she repeatedly sniffed the order of jasmine from a type of flower she well knew to be scentless her reaction disarmed my suspicion that ganda baba had induced an auto-suggestive state whereby i alone could detect the fragrance later i heard from a friend allah that the perfume saint had a power which i wish were possessed by the starving millions of asia today today of europe as well i was present with a hundred other guests at gandhi baba's home in bird one alekananda told me it was a gala occasion because the yogi was reputed to have the power of extracting objects out of thin air i laughingly requested him to materialize some out-of-season tangerines immediately the luchis which were presented on all the banana leaf plates became puffed up each of the bread envelopes proved to contain a peel tangerine i bid it into my own with some trepidation but found it delicious years later i understood by inner realization how gandababa accomplished his materializations the method alas is beyond the reach of the world's hungry hordes the different sensory stimuli to which man reacts tactile visual gustatory auditory and olfactory are produced by vibrating variations in electrons and protons the vibrations in turn are regulated by lifetrons subtle life forces are finer than atomic energies intelligently charged with the five distinctive sensory idea senses ganda baba turning himself with the cosmic forces by certain yogic practice was able to guide the lifetrons to rearrange their vibratory structure and objectify the desired result his perfume fruit and other miracles were actual materializations of mundane vibrations and not inner sensations hypnotically produced performances of miracles such as sown by the perfume saint were spectacular but spiritually useless having little purpose beyond entertainment they are digressions from a serious search for god hypnotism has been used by physicians in minor operations as a sort of physical chloroform for persons who might be endangered by anesthetic but a hypnotic state is harmful to those often subjected to it a negative psychological effect ensues which in time deranges the brain cells hypnotism is trespassed into the territory of another's consciousness its temporary phenomena have nothing in common with the miracles performed by men of divine realization awakened god true saint effect changes his dream world by means of a will harmoniously attuned to the creative cosmic dreamer ostentatious display of unusual power are decried by masters the persian mystic abu saad once laughed at certain fakirs who were proud of their miraculous powers over water air and space a frog is also at home in the water abu said pointed out in gentle scorn the crow and the vulture easily fly in the air the devil is simultaneously present in the east and in the west a true man is he who dwells in righteousness among his fellow men who buys and sells yet is never for a single instant forgetful of god on another occasion the great persian teacher gave his views of the religious life thus to lay aside what you have in your head selfish desires and ambition to freely bestow what you have in your hand and never to flinch from the blows of adversity neither the impartial sage of kaligat temple nor the tibetan trained yogi had satisfied my yearning for a guru my heart needed no tutor for its recognition and cried its own braavos the more resoundedly because i'm often summoned from silence when i finally met my master he taught me by sublimity of example alone the measure of a true man end of chapter chapter 6 the tiger swamy i have discovered the tiger swami's address let us visit him tomorrow this welcome suggestion came from chandi one of my high school friends i was eager to meet the saint who in his pre-monastic life had caught and fought tigers with his naked hands a boyish enthusiasm over such remarkable feats was strong within me the next day dawned wintry cold but shandy and i sailed forth daily after much vain hunting in bonaparte outside calcutta we arrived the right house the door held two iron rings which i sounded piercingly notwithstanding the clamor a servant approached with leisurely gate his ironical smile implied that visitors despite their noise were powerless to disturb the calmness of a saint's home feeling the silent rebuke my companion i were thankful to be invited into the parlor our long wait there caused uncomfortable misgivings india's unwritten law for the truth seeker is patient a master may purposely make a test to one's eagerness to meet him this psychological ruse is freely employed in the west by doctors and dentists finally summoned by the servant chandi and i entered a sleeping apartment the famous sohong swamy was seated on his bed the sight of his tremendous body affected us strangely with bulging eyes we stood speechless we had never before seen such a chest or such football-like biceps on an immense neck the swami's fierce yet calm face was adorned with flowing locks beard and mustache a hint of dove-like and tiger-like qualities shown in his dark eyes he was unclothed saved for a tiger skin about his muscular waste finding our voices my friend and i greeted the monk expressing our admiration for his prowess in the extraordinary feline arena will you not tell us please how it is possible to subdue with bare fists the most ferocious of jungle beasts the royal bengal my sons it is nothing to me to fight tigers i could do it today if necessary he gave a childlike laugh you look upon tigers as tigers i know them as pussycats swamiji i think i could impress my subconsciousness with a thought that tigers are pussycats but could i make tigers believe it of course strength also is necessary one cannot expect victory from a baby who imagines a tiger to be a house cat powerful hands are my sufficient weapon he asked us to follow him to the patio where he struck the edge of a wall a brick crashed to the floor the sky peered boldly through the gaping lost tooth of the wall i fairly staggered in astonishment he who can remove mortared bricks from a solid wall with one blow i thought must surely be able to displace the teeth of tigers a number of men have physical power such as mine but still lack in cool confidence those who are bodily but not mentally stalwart may find themselves fainting at mere sight of a wild beast bounding freely in the jungle the tiger in its natural ferocity and habitat is vastly different from opium fed circus animals many a man with herculean strength has nonetheless been terrorized into abject helplessness before the onslaught of a royal bengal thus the tiger has converted the man in his own mind to a state as nervousness the pussycat it is possible for a man owing a fairly strong body an immensely strong determination to turn the tables on the tiger and force it to a conviction of pussycat defenselessness how often i have done just that i was quite willing to believe that the titan before me was able to perform the tiger pussycat metamorphos he seemed in a didactic mood chandy and i listened respectively mind is the wielder of muscles the force of a hammer blow depends on the energy applied the power expressed by man's bodily instrument depends on his aggressive will and courage the body is literally manufactured and sustained by mind through pressure of instincts from past lives strengths or weaknesses percolate gradually into human consciousness they express as habits which in turn ossify into a desirable or undesirable body outward frailty has mental origin in a vicious circle the habit-bound body thwarts the mind if the master allows himself to be commanded by the servant the latter becomes autocratic the mind is similarly enslaved by submitting to bodily dictation at our entry the impressive swami consented to tell us something of his own life my earliest ambition was to fly tires my will was mighty but my body was feeble an ejaculation of surprise broke from me it appeared incredible at this man now with atleen's shoulders fit to bear could ever have known weakness it was by indomitable persistency and thought of health and strength that i overcame my handicapped i have every reason to extol the compelling mental vigor which i found to be the real subduer of royal bengals do you think reverend swami that i could ever fight tigers this was the first and the last time that the bizarre ambition ever visited my mind yes he was smiling but there are many kinds of tigers some roman jungles of human desires no spiritual benefit of cruise by knocking beasts unconscious rather be victor over the inner prowlers may we hear sir how you changed from a tamer of wild tigers to a tamer of wild passions the tiger's swami fell into silence remoteness came into his gaze summoning visions of bygone years i discerned his slight mental struggle to decide whether to grant my request finally he smiled in acquiescence when my fame reached a zenith it brought the intoxication of pride i decided not only to fight tigers but to display them in various tricks my ambition was to force savage beasts to behave like domesticated ones i began to perform my feats publicly with gratifying success one evening my father entered my room in pensive mood son i have words of warning i would save you from coming ills produced by the grinding wheels of cause and effect are you a fatalist father should superstition be allowed to discolor the powerful waters of my activities i am no fatal son but i believe in the just law of retribution as taught in the holy scriptures there is resentment against you in the jungle family sometime it may act to your cost father you astonish me you well know what tigers are beautiful but merciless even immediately after an enormous meal of some helpless creature a tiger is fired with fresh lust to the site of new prey it may be a joyous gazelle frisking over the jungle grass capturing it and biting and opening the soft throat the malevolent beast tastes only little of the mutely crying blood and goes its wanton way tigers are the most contemptible the jungle breed who knows my blows may inject some slight insanity of consideration into their thick heads i am headmaster in a forest finishing school to teach them gentle manners please father think of me as tiger tamer and never as a tiger killer how could my good actions bring ill upon me i beg you not to impose any command that i change my way of life chanting i were all attention understanding the past dilemma in india a child does not lightly disobey his father's wishes in stoic silence father listen to my explanation he followed the disclosure which he uttered gravely son you compel me to relate an ominous prediction from the lips of a saint he approached me yesterday as i sat on the veranda in my daily meditation dear friend i come with a message for your belligerent son let him cease his savage activities otherwise his next tiger encounter shall result in his severe wounds followed by six months of deathly sickness he shall then forsake his former ways and become a monk this tale did not impress me i considered that father had been the credulous victim of a deluded fanatic the tiger swamy made this confession with an impatient gesture as though it's some stupidity grimly silent for a long time he seemed oblivious of our presence when he looked up at the dangling threat of his narrative it was suddenly with a subdued voice not long after father's warning i visited the capital city of coach bihar the picturesque territory was new to me and i expected a restful change as usual everywhere a curious crowd followed me on the streets i would catch bits of whispered comment this is the man who fights wild tigers has he legs or tree trunks look at his face he must be an incarnation of the king of tigers himself you know how village urchins function like final editions of the newspaper with what speed do the even later speech bulletins of the women circulate from house to house within a few hours the whole city was in a state of excitement over my presence i was relaxing quietly in the evening when i heard the hoof beats of galloping horses they stopped in front of my dwelling place it came a number of tall turbine policemen i was taken aback all things are possible under these creatures of human law i wonder if they're going to take me to task about matters utterly unknown to me but the officers bowed with unwanted courtesy honored sir we are sent to welcome you on behalf of the prince of kuch bahar he is pleased to invite you to his palace tomorrow morning i speculated a while on prospect for some obscure reason i felt sharp regret at this interruption of my quiet trip but the supplicant manner of the policeman moved me i agreed to go i was bewildered the next day to be obsequiously escorted from my door into a magnificent coach drawn by four horses a servant held an ornate umbrella to protect me from the scorching sunlight i enjoyed the pleasant trip through the city and its wooden outskirts the royal skyend himself was at the palace door to welcoming he proffered his own gold brooch seat smiling placing himself in a chair of simpler design all this politeness is certainly going to cost me something i thought in mounting astonishment the prince's motive emerged after a few casual remarks my city is filled with a rumor that you can fight wild tigers with nothing more than your naked hands is it a fact it is quite true i can scarcely believe it you are a calcutta bengali nurtured on the white rice of city folk be frank please have you not been fighting only spineless opium fed animals his void was loud and sarcastic tinged with provincial accent i vouch safe no reply to his insulting question i challenge you to fight my newly caught tiger raja begum if you can successfully resist him bind him with a chain and leave his cage in a conscious state you shall have this royal bengal several thousand rupees and many other gifts shall also be bestowed if you refuse to meet him in combat i shall blaze in your name throughout the state as an imposter his insolent word struck me like a volley of bullets i shot an angry acceptance half risen from the chair in its excitement the prince sank back with a sadistic smile i was reminded of the roman emperors who delighted in setting christians in bestial arenas the match will be set for a week hence i regret that i cannot give you permission to view the tiger in advance whether the prince feared i might seek to hypnotize the beast or secretly feed him opium i know not i left the palace noting with amusement that the royal umbrella and penelope coach were now missing the following week i methodically prepared my mind and body for the coming ordeal through my servant i learned of fantastic tales the saints diedful prediction of my father had somehow got abroad enlarging his iran many simple villagers believed that an evil spirit cursed by the gods had reincarnated as a tiger which took various demonic forms at night but remained a striped animal during the day this demon tiger was supposed to be the one sent to humble me another imaginative version was that animal prayers to tiger heaven had achieved a response in the shape of raja begum he was to be the instrument to punish me the audacious pipe so insulting to the entire tiger species a furless fangless man daring to challenge a claw-armed sturdy limber tiger the concentrated venom of all humiliated tigers the villagers declared had gathered momentum sufficient to operate hidden laws and bring about the fall of the proud tiger tamer my servant further apprised me that the prince was in his elements as manager of the bout between man and beast he had supervised the erection of a storm proof pavilion designed to accommodate thousands its center held raja bhagam an enormous iron cage surrounded by outer safety room the captive emitted a ceaseless series of blood curdling roars he was fed sparingly to kindle a wrathful appetite perhaps the prince expected me to be the meal of reward crowds from the city and suburbs bought tickets eagerly in response to the beat of drums announcing a unique contest the day of battle saw hundreds turned away for lack of seats many men broke through the tent openings or crowded any space below the galleries as a tiger swami's story approached a climax my excitement mounted with it chandi was also raptly mute amidst piercing sound explosions from raja begum and the hubbub of the somewhat terrified crowd i quietly made my appearance scantily clad around my waist i was otherwise unprotected by clothing i opened the bolt on the door of the safety room and calmly locked it behind me the tiger sensed blood leaping with a thunderous crash of his bars he sent forth a fearsome welcome the audience was hushed with pitiful fear i seemed to meek lamb before the raging beast in a thrice i was within the cage but as i slammed the door raj begum was headlong upon me my right hand was desperately torn human blood the greatest treat a tiger can know fell in appalling streams the prophecy of the saints seemed about to be fulfilled i rallied instantly from the shock of the first serious injury i'd ever received banishing the sight of my gory fingers by thrusting them beneath my waist cloth i swung my left arm in a bone-cracking blow the beast reeled back swirled around the rear of the cage and sprang forward convulsively my famous fistic punishment rained on his head but raja bigham's taste of blood had acted like a maddening first sip of wine to a dipsomaniac long to braved punctuated by deafening roar the bruised assaults grew in fury my inadequate defense of only one left hand left me vulnerable before claws and fangs but i dealt out dazing retribution mutually ensuing we struggled as to the death the cage was pandemonium as blood splashed in all direction and blasts of pain and lethal lust came from the beastial throat shoot him kill the tiger shrieks arose among the audience so fast did man and beast move that a guard's bullet went amiss i mustered all my will forces bellowed fiercely and landed a final concussive blow the tiger collapsed and laid quietly like a pussycat i interjected the swami laughed in hearty appreciation then continued the engrossing tale raja begum was vanquished at last his royal pride was further humbled with my lacerated hands i audaciously forced open his jaws for a dramatic moment i held my head within the yawning death trap i looked around for a chain pulling one from a pile on the floor i bound the tiger by his neck to the cage bars in triumph i moved toward the door but the fiend incarnate raja bhagam had stamina worthy of a supposed demonic origin with an incredible lunge he snapped the chain and leaped on my back my shoulder fast in his jaws i fell violently but in a twice i had him pinned beneath me under merciless blows the treacherous animals sank into semi-consciousness this time i secured him more carefully slowly i left the cage i found myself in a new uproar this time one of delight the crowd's cheer broke as though from a single gigantic throat disastrously mauled i had yet fulfilled the three conditions of the fight stunning the tiger binding him with a chain and leaving him without requiring assistance for myself in addition i had so drastically injured and frightened aggressive beast that he had been content to overlook the opportune prize of my head and his mouth after my wounds were treated i was honored and garland hundreds of gold pieces showered at my feet the whole city entered a holiday period endless discussions were heard on all sides about my victory over one of the largest most savage tigers ever seen raja begum was presented to me as promised but i felt no elation a spiritual change had entered my heart it seemed that with my final exit from the cage i had also closed the door on my worldly ambitions a woeful period followed for six months i lay near death from blood poisoning as soon as i was well enough to leave coach babar i returned to my native town i know now that my teacher is the holy man who gave the wise warning i humbly made this confession to my father oh if i could only find him my longing was sincere for one day the saint arrived unheralded enough of tiger taming he spoke with calm assurance come with me i will teach you to subdue the beast of ignorance roaming in the jungles of the human mind you are used to an audience let it be a galaxy of angels entertained by your thrilling mastery of yoga i was initiated into the spiritual path by my saintly guru he opened my soul doors rusty and resisted with long disuse hand in hand we soon set out for my training in the himalayas chandi and i bowed to swami's feet grateful for his vivid outline of a life truly cyclonic i felt amply repaid for the long probationary weight in the cold parlor end of chapter chapter 7 the levitating saint i saw yogi remain in the air several feet above the ground last night at a group meeting my friend upendra mohan chalhuri spoke impressively i gave him an enthusiastic smile perhaps i can guess his name was it badouri mayasa of upper circular road upendra nodded a little crest fallen not to be a news bearer my inquisitiveness about saints were well known among my friends they delighted in setting me on a fresh track the yogi lives so close to my home that i often visited him my words brought keen interest to upendra's face and i made a further confidence i have seen him in remarkable feats he was expertly mastered the various pranayamas of the ancient eightfold yoga outlined by patanjali once baduri mayasa performed the bashrita panyanama before me with such amazing force that it seemed an actual storm had arisen in the room then he extinguished the thundering breath and remained motionless in a high state of super consciousness the aura of peace after the storm was vivid beyond forgetting i heard that the saint never leaves his home eupendra's tone was a trifle incredulous indeed it is true he has lived indoors for the past 20 years he slightly relaxes the self-imposed rule of the times of our holy festivals when he goes as far as his front sidewalk the beggars gather there because saint badour is known for his tender heart how does he remain in the air and define the law of gravitation a yogi's body loses its grossness after use of certain pranayamas then it will levitate or hop about like a leaping frog even saints who do not practice a formal yoga have been known to levitate during a state of intense devotion to god i would like to know more of this sage do you attend his evening meetings you pender's eyes were sparkling with curiosity yes i go often i am vastly entertained by the width of his wisdom occasionally my prolonged laughter mars the solemnity of his gatherings the saint is not displeased but his disciples looked daggers on my way home from school that afternoon i passed baduri mayasa's cloister and decided on a visit the yogi was inaccessible to the general public a lone disciple occupying the front floor guarded his master's privacy the student was something of a marriage he now inquired formally if i had an engagement his guru put an appearance just in time to save me from summary ejection let mukunda come when he will the sage's eyes twinkled my rule of seclusion is not for my own comfort but for that of others worldly people do not like the candor which shatters their delusion saints are not only rare but disconcerting even in scripture they are often found embarrassing i followed baduri mayasa to his austere quarters and on top floor from which he seldom stirred masters often ignore the panorama of the worlds ado out of the focus till centered in the ages the contemporaries of a sage are not alone those of the narrow present maharishi you are the first yogi i have known who always stays indoors god plants his saints sometimes in unexpected soil lest we think we may reduce him to a rule the sage locked his vibrant body into the lotus posture in his seventies he displayed no unpleasing signs of age or sedentary life stalwart and straight he was ideal in every respect his face was that of a rishi as described in the ancient text noble headed abundantly bearded he always sat firmly upright his quiet eyes fixed on on the presence the saint and i entered the meditative state after an hour his gentle voice roused me you go often into the silence but have you developed anabava he was reminding me to love god more than meditation do not mistake the technique for the goal he offered me some mangoes with the good humored wit i found so delightful in his grave nature he remarked people in general are more found of jala yoga union with food than with dhyana yoga union with god his yogic pun affected me uproariously what a laugh you have an affectionate gleam came into his gaze his own face was always serious yet touched with an ecstatic smile his large lotus eyes held a hidden divine laughter those letters come from far off america the sage indicated several thick envelopes on a table i correspond with a few societies there whose members are interested in yoga they are discovering india anew with a better sense of direction in columbus i am glad to help them the knowledge of yoga is free to all who will receive like the ungarnishable daylight what rishis perceived as essential for human salvation need not be diluted for the west alike and soul though diverse in outer experience neither west nor east will flourish if some form of disciplinary yoga be not practiced the saint held me with his tranquil eyes i did not realize that his speech was veiled prophetic guidance it is only now as i write these words that i understand the full meaning in the casual intimations he gave me that someday i would carry india's teaching to america sir i inquired why do you not write a book on yoga for the benefit of the world i am training disciples he replied they and their students will be living volumes proof against the natural disintegration of time and the unnatural interpretation of the critics maharishi i wish you would write a book on yoga for the benefit of the world i am training disciples they and their students will be living volumes proof against the natural disintegration of time and the unnatural interpretations of the critics baduri's wit put me into another gale of laughter i remained alone with the yogi until his disciples arrived in the evening baduri mahasha entered one of his unlimitable discourses like a peaceful flood he swept away the mental debris of his listeners floating them godward his striking parables were expressed in a flawless bengali this evening baduri expounded various philosophical points connected with the life of marabi a medieval rajputni princess who abandoned her court to seek the company of sadhus one great sannyasa refused to receive her because she was a woman her reply brought him humbly to her feet tell the master she said that i do not know there was any male in the universe save god are we all not females before him a scriptural conception of the lord as the only positive creative principle his creation be not but a passive maya marabi composed many ecstatic songs which are still treasured in india i translate one of them here if by bathing daily god should be realized sooner should i be a whale in the deep if by eating roots and fruits he could be known gladly would i choose the form of a goat if the counting of rosaries uncovered him i would say my prayers on mammoth beads if bowing before stone images unveiled him a flinty mountain i could humbly worship if by drinking milk the lord could be imbibed many calves and children would know him if abandoning one's wife would summon god would not thousands be eunuchs nearby knows that the fine the divine one the only indispensable is love several students put rupees and bharati slippers which lay by his side as he sat in yoga posture this respectful offering customer in india indicates that the disciple places his material goods at the guru's feet grateful students are only the lord in disguise looking after his own master you are wonderful a student taking his leave gazed ardently at the patriarchal stage you have renounced riches and comforts to see god and teach us wisdom it was well known that baduri mayasa had forsaken great family wealth in his early childhood when single-mindedly he entered the yogic path you are reversing the case the saints face held a mild rebuke i have left a few paltry rupees a few petty pleasures for the cosmic empire of endless bliss how then have i denied myself anything i know the joy of sharing the treasure is that a sacrifice the short-sighted worldly folk are verily the real renunciates they relinquish an unparalleled divine possession for a poor handful of earthly toys i chuckled over this paradoxical view of renunciation one which puts the cap of crosses on any saintly beggar while it's transforming all proud millionaires into unconscious martyrs the divine order arranges our future more wisely than any insurance company the masters concluding words were the realized creed of his faith the world is full of uneasy believers and an outward security their bitter thoughts are like scars on their foreheads the one who gave us air and milk from our first breath knows how to provide day by day for his devotees i continued my after school pilgrimages to saint's door with silent zeal he aided me to attain anubhava one day he moved to ram mohan roy road away from the neighborhood of my grouper road home his loving disciples had built him a new hermitage known as nagandra moth although it throws me ahead of my story by a number of years i will recount here the last words given to me by baduri mayasa shortly before i embark for the west i sought him out and humbly knelt for his farewell blessing son go to america take the dignity of hory india for your shield victory is written on your brow the noble distant people will well receive you end of chapter chapter 8 india's greatest scientist j.c bowes jagadis chandra bose wireless inventions anti-dated dose of marconi overhearing this provocative remark i walked closer to a sidewalk group of professors engaged in scientific discussion if my motive in joining them was racial pride i regret it i cannot deny my keen interest and evidence that india can play a leading role in physics and not metaphysics alone what do you mean sir the professor obligedly explained bose was the first one to invent a wireless cohere of an instrument for indicating the refraction of electric waves but the indian scientist did not exploit his inventions commercially he soon turned his attention from the inorganic to the organic world his revolutionary discoveries as a plant physiologist are outpacing even as radical achievements as a physicist i politely thank my mentor he added the great scientist is one of my brother professors at presidency college i paid a visit the next day to the sage at his home which was closer to mine on grupo road i had long admired him from a respectful distance the grave and retiring botanist greeted me graciously he was handsome robust man in his fifties with thick hair broad forehead and the abstract eyes of a dreamer the precision and his tones revealed the lifeline scientific habit i have recently returned from an expedition to scientific societies of the west their members exhibited intense interest in delicate instruments of my invention which demonstrate the indivisible unity of all life the bose crestograph has the enormity of 10 million magnifications the microscope enlarges only a few thousand times yet it brought vital impetus to biological science the crustal graph opens in calculable vistas you have done much sir to hasten the embrace of east and west in the impersonal arms of science i was educated at cambridge how admirable is the western method of submitting all theory to scupless experimental verification that empirical procedure has gone hand in hand with the gift for introspection which is my eastern heritage together they have enabled me to sunder the silence of natural realms long on communicative the tell-tale charts of my cressograph are evidence for the most skeptical that plants have a sensitive nervous system and a varied emotional life love hate joy fear pleasure pain excitability stupor and countless appropriate responses to stimuli are as universal and plant as an animal the unique throb of life in all creation could seem only poetic imagery before your advent professor a saint i once knew would never pluck flowers shall i rob the rose bush of its pride and beauty shall i cruelly affront its dignity by my rude divestment his sympathetic words are verified literally through your discoveries the poet is intimate with truth while a scientist approaches awkwardly come someday to my laboratory and see the unequivocal testimony of the cressograph gratefully i accepted the invitation and took my departure i heard later that the botanist had left presidency college and was planning a research center in calcutta when the bose institute was open i attended the dedicatory services enthusiastic hundreds strolled over the premises i was charmed with the artistry and spiritual symbolism of the new home of science its front gate i noted was a censured relic from a distant shrine behind the lotus fallon a sculptured female figure with a torch conveyed the indian respect for women as the immortal lightbearer the garden held a small temple consecrated to the noman beyond phenomenon thought of the divine incorporating was suggested by absence of any altar image bose's speech on this great occasion may have issued from the lips of one of the inspired ancient rishis i dedicate today this institute is not merely a laboratory but a temple his reverent solemnity stole like an unseen cloak over the crowded auditorium in the pursuit of my investigations i was unconsciously led into the border region of physics and physiology to my amazement i found boundary lines vanishing and points of contact emerging between the realms of the living and non-living inorganic matter was perceived as anything but inert it was a thrill under the action of multitudinous forces a universal reaction seemed to bring metal plant animal under a common law they all exhibited essentially the same phenomena of fatigue and depression with possibilities of recovery and exaltation as well as the permanent irresponsiveness associated with death filled with awe at this stupendous generalization it was with great hope that i announced my results before the royal society results demonstrated by experiments but the physiologist present advised me to confine myself to physical investigations in which my success had been assured rather than encroach on their preserves i had unwittedly strayed into the domain of an unfamiliar caste system and so offended its etiquette an unconscious theological bias was also present which confounds ignorance with faith it is often forgotten that he who surrounds us with his ever-evolving mystery of creation has also implanted in us the desire to question and understand through many years of miscomprehension i came to know that the life of a devotee of science is inevitably filled with unending struggle it is for him to cast his life as an ardent offering regarding gain and loss success and failure is one in time the leading scientific societies of the world accepted my theories and results and recognized the importance of the indian contribution to the science can anything small or circumscribed ever satisfy the mind of india by a continuous living tradition and a vital power of redundance this land has readjusted itself through unnumbered transformations indians have always arisen who discarding the immediate and absorbing prize of the hour have sought for the realization of the highest ideals in life not through passive renunciation but through active struggle the weakling who has refused the conflict acquiring nothing has had nothing to renounce he alone who was driven in one can enrich the world by bestowing the fruits of his victorious experience the work already carried out in the bose laboratory on the response of matter and the unexpected revelations in plant life have opened out very extended regions of inquiry into physics into physiology in medicine and agriculture and even in psychology problems hitherto regarded as insoluble have been now brought within the sphere of experimental investigation but high success is not to be obtained without rigid exactitude hence the long battery of super sensitive instruments and apparatus of my design which stand before you today in their cases in the entrance hall they tell you of the protracted efforts to get behind the deceptive seeming into the reality that remains unseen of the continuous toil and persistence and resourcefulness called forth to overcome human limitations all creative scientists know that the true laboratory is the mind where behind illusions they uncover the laws of truth the lectures given here will not be mere repetitions of second-hand knowledge they will announce new discoveries demonstrated for the first time in these halls through regular publication of the work of the institute these indian contributions will reach the whole world they will become public property no patents will ever be taken the spirit of our natural culture demands that we should forever be free from the discretion of utilizing knowledge only for personal gain it is my further wish that the faculties of this institute be available so far as possible to workers from all countries in this i am attempting to carry on traditions of my country so far back is 25 centuries india welcomed its ancient universities at nalanda and taxilla scholars from all over the world although science is neither of the east nor the west but rather international to universality yet india is specially fitted to make great contributions the burning indian imagination which can exhort new order out of a massive apparently contradictory fact is held in check by the habit of concentration this restraint confers the power to hold the mind to pursuit of truth with an infinite patience tears stood in my eyes at the scientists concluding words is patience not indeed a synonym of india confounding time and historians alike i visited the research center often soon after the day of opening the great botanist mindful of his promise took me to his quiet laboratory i will attach the cressograph to this fern the magnification is tremendous if a snail's crawl were enlarged in the same proportion the creature would appear to be traveling like an express train my gaze was fixed eagerly on the screen which reflected the magnified fern shadow my newt life movements were now clearly perceptible the plant was growing very slowly before my fascinated eyes the scientists touched the tip of the fern with a small metal bar the developing pantomime came to an abrupt halt resuming the eloquent rhythm as soon as the rod was drawn you saw how slight outside interference is detrimental to the sensitive tissues bose remarked watch i will now administer chloroform and then give an antidote the effect of the chloroform discontinued all growth the antidote was revivifying the evolutionary gesture on the screen held me more rapidly than a movie plot my companion here is the role of a villain thrust the sharp instrument through the part of a fern pain was indicated by spasmatic flutters when he passed a razor partially through the stem the shadow was violently agitated then stilled itself with the final punctuation of death by first chloroforming a huge tree i achieved a successful transplantation usually such monarchs of the forest die very quickly after being moved jagged is smiled happily as he recounted the life-saving maneuver graphs of my delicate apparatus have proved that trees possess a circulatory system their sap movements correspond to the blood pressure of animal bodies the ascent of sap is not explicable on the mechanical grounds ordinarily advanced such as capillary attraction the phenomena has been solved through the cressograph as the activity of living cells peristatic waves issue from a cylindrical tube which extends down a tree and serves as an actual heart the more deeply we perceive the more striking becomes the evidence that a uniform plan links every form and manifold nature the great scientists pointed to another bose instrument i will show you experiments on a piece of tin the life force in metals responds adversely or beneficially to stimuli ink markings will register the various reactions deeply engrossed i watched the graph which recorded the characteristic ways of atomic structure when the professor applied chloroform to the tin the vibratory writing stopped they recommenced as the metal slowly regained its normal state my companion dispensed a poisonous chemical simultaneous with the quivering end of the tin the needle dramatically wrote on the chart a death notice bose instruments have demonstrated that metals such as the steel used in scissors and machinery are subject to fatigue and regain efficiency by periodic rest the life pulse in metals is seriously harmed or even extinguished through the application of electric currents or heavy pressure i looked around the room at the numerous inventions eloquent testimony of a tireless ingenuity sir it is lamentable that mass agricultural development is not speeded by fuller use of your marvelous mechanisms would it not be easily possible to employ some of them in quake laboratory experiments to indicate the influence of various types of fertilizers on plant growth you are right countless uses of bull's instruments will be made by further generations the scientists seldom knows contemporaries a reward it is enough to possess the joy of creative service with expressions of unreserved gratitude to the indefatigable sage i took my leave can the astonishing fertility of this genius ever be exhausted i thought no diminution came with the years inventing an intricate instrument the resonant cardiograph bose then pursued extensive research on innumerable indian plants an enormous unsuspected pharmacopoeia of useful drugs is revealed the cardiograph is constructed with an un-airing accuracy by which a 100th part of a second is indicated on a graph resident records measure infinitesimal positions in plants animal and human structure the great botanist predicted the use of this cardiograph will lead to vivisection of plants instead of animals side by side recordings of the effect of a medicine given simultaneously to a plant in an animal have shown outstanding unanimity and result he pointed out everything in man has been foreshadowed in the plant experimentation on vegetation will contribute to lessening of human suffering years later boza's pioneer plan findings were substantiated by other scientists work done in 1938 at columbus university was reported by the new york times as follows it has been determined within the past few years that when the nerves transmit messages between the brain and the other parts of the body teeny electrical impulses are being generated these impulses have been measured by delicate galvanometers and magnified millions of times by modern amplifying apparatus until now no satisfactory method had been found to study the passages of the impulses along the nerve fibers and living animals or man because of the great speed with which these impulses traveled doctors ks cole and hj curtis reported having discovered the long single cells of the freshwater plant nutella used frequently in goldfish bowls are virtually identical with those of single nerve fibers furthermore they found that intellivirus on being excited propagate electrical waves that are similar in every way except velocity to those of the nerve fibers and animals and man the electrical nerve impulses in the plant were found to be much slower than those in animals this discovery was therefore seized upon by the columbia workers the mean for taking slow motion pictures of the passage of the electrical impulses and nerves the nutella plant thus became a sort of rosetta stone for deciphering the closely guarded secrets close to the very borderland of mind and matter the poet rabindarth tagore was a stalwart friend of indians idealistic scientists to him the sweet bengali singer address the following lines o hermit call thou in the authentic words of that old hymn called sama rise awake call to the man who boast his shastric lore from vain pedantic wranglings profitless call to that foolish braggart to come forth out of the face of nature this broad earth send forth this call unto thy scholar land together round thy sacrifice of fire let them all gather so may our india our ancient land under herself return o once again return to steadfast work to duty and devotion to her trance of earnest meditation let her sit once more unraffled greedless strifeless pure or once again upon her lofty seat and platform teacher of all lands end of chapter chapter 9 the blissful devotee and his cosmic romance little sir please be seated i am talking to my divine mother silently had entered the room in great ah the angelic appearance of master miyasa fairly dazzled me with silky white beard and large lustrous eyes he seemed an incarnation of purity his upgrades chin and folded hands apprised me that my first visit disturbed him in the midst of his devotions his simple words of greedy produced the most violent effect my nature had so far experienced the bitter separation of my mother's death i had though the measure of all anguish now an agony of separation from my divine mother was an indescribable torture of the spirit i fell mourning to the floor little sir quiet yourself the saint was sympathetically distressed abandoned in some oceanic dissolution i clutched his feet at the sole raft of my rescue holy sir thy intercession ask divine mother if i find any favor in her sight this promise is one not easily bestowed the master was constrained to silence beyond reach of doubt i was convinced that master mayasa was an intimate converse with the universal mother it was deep humiliation to realize that my eyes were blind to her who even at this moment was perceptible to the faultless gaze of the saint shamelessly gripping his feet deaf to his gentle remonstrations i besought him again and again for his intervening grace i will make your plea to the beloved the master's capitulation came with a slow compassionate smile what power in these few words if my being should no release from its stormy exile sir remember your pledge i shall return soon for her message joyful anticipation rang in my voice that only a moment ago had been sobbing in sorrow descending long stairway i was overwhelmed by memories this house at 50 amherst street now the resident of master miasa had once been my family home scene of my mother's death here my human heart had broken for the vanished mother and here today my spirit had been as though crucified by absence of divine mother hallowed walls silent witness of my grievous hurts and final healing my steps were eager as returned to my grouper road home seeking the seclusion of my small attic i remained in meditation until 12 o'clock the darkness of the warm indian night was suddenly lit with a wondrous vision hallowed in splendor the divine mother stood before me her face tenderly smiling was beauty itself always i have loved thee ever shall i love thee the celestial tone still ringing in the air she disappeared the son of the following morning hardly risen to the angle of decorum when i paid my second visit to master miasha climbing the staircase in the house of poignant memories i reached his fourth floor room the knob of the closed door was wrapped around with a cloth a hint i felt that the saint desired privacy as i stood irresiduably on the landing the door was opened by the master's welcoming hand i knelt at his holy feet in a playful mood i wore a solo mask over my face hiding the divine elation sir i have come very early i confess for your message did the beloved mother say anything about me mischievous little sir not another remark would he make apparently my assumed gravity was unimpressive why so mysterious so evasive do saints ever speak plainly perhaps i was a little provoked must you tease me his calm eyes were full of understanding could i add a single word this morning to the assurance you received last night at 10 o'clock from the beautiful mother herself mayasa possessed control over the floodgates of my soul again i plunged prostate at his feet but this time my tears welled from a bliss and not a pain past barren thank you that your devotion did not touch the infinite mercy the motherhood of god that you have worshiped in forms both human and divine could never fail to answer your forsaken cry who was this simple saint whose least request to the universal spirit met with sweet acquiescence his role in the world was humble as befitted the greatest man of humility i ever knew in this amherst street house master mayasa conducted a small high school for boys no words of chastisement passed his lips no rule and pharaoh maintained his discipline higher mathematics indeed were taught in these modest classrooms and a chemistry of love absent from the textbooks he spread his wisdom by spiritual contagion rather than impermeable precept consumed by an unsophisticated passion for the divine mother the saint no more demanded the outward forms of respect than a child i am not your guru he shall come a little later he told me through his guidance your experience of the divine in terms of love and devotion shall be translated into his terms of fatherless wisdom every late afternoon i betook myself to amherst street i sought master miyaza's divine cup so full of its drops daily overflowed on my bean never before had i bowed in utter reverence now i felt it immeasurably privileged even to tread the same ground with matrimiosis sanctified sir please wear this champa garland i had fashioned especially for you i arrived one evening holding my chain of flowers but shyly he drew away repeatedly refusing the honor perceiving my hurt he finally smiled consent since we are both devotees of the mother you may put the garland on this bodily temple as offering to her who dwells within his vast nature lacks space in which any egotistical consideration should gain foothold let us tomorrow go to dakashima temple forever hallowed by my guru master miyasa was a disciple of a christ-like master sri ramakrishna paramansa the four mile journey on the following morning was taken by boat on the ganges we entered the nine dome temple of kali where the figures of the divine mother and shiva rest on a burnished silver lotus its thousand petals meticulously chiseled master master beamed in enchantment he was engaged in his inexhaustible romance with the beloved as he chanted her name my enraptured heart seemed shattered into a thousand pieces we strolled later through the sacred precincts halting in a tamak grove the manna characteristically exuded by this tree was symbolic of the heavenly food master miasta was bestowing his divine invocations continued i sat rigidly motionless on the grass that made the pink feathery tamaric flowers temporarily absent from the body i soared into a supernal visit this was the first of many pilgrimages to dhaka shwar with the holy teacher from him i learned the sweetness of god in the aspect of mother or divine mercy the childlike saint found little appeal in the father aspect or divine justice stern exacting mathematical judgment was alien to his gentle nature he can serve as an earthly prototype for the very angels on earth i thought fondly watching him one day at his prayers without a breath of century or criticism he surveyed the world with eyes long familiar with the primal purity his body mind speech and actions were effortless harmonized with his soul simplicity my master told me so shrinking from personal assertion the saint ended any sane council with this invariable tribute so deep with his identity was sri ramakrishna that master miyashi no longer considered his thoughts as his own hand in hand the saint and i walked one evening on the block of his school my joy was dim by the arrival of a conceited acquaintance who burdened us with a lengthy discourse i see this man doesn't please you the saints whisper to me was unheard by the egoist spellbound by his own monologue i have spoken to divine mother about it she realizes our sad predicament as soon as we get to yonder red house she has promised to remind him of more urgent business my eyes were glued to the site of salvation reaching its red gate the man unaccountably turned and departed neither finishing his sentence nor saying goodbye the assaulted heir was comforted with peace another day found me walking alone near the howard railroad station i stood for a moment by a temple silently criticizing a small group of men with drums and symbols who were violently reciting the chant how un-devotionally they use the lord's divine name in mechanical repetition i reflected my gaze was astonished by the rapid approach of master miyasa sir how come you hear the saint ignoring my question answered my thought isn't it true little sir that the beloved's name sounds sweet from all lips ignorant or wise he passed his arm around me affectionately i found myself carried on his magic carpet to the merciful presence would you like to see some bioscopes this question one afternoon from master master was mystifying the term was then used in india to signify motion pictures i agreed glad to be in his company in any circumstance a brisk walk brought us to the garden front in calcutta university my companion indicated a bench near the gold digior pond let us sit for a few minutes my master always asked me to meditate whenever i saw an expanse of water here its placidity reminded us of the vast calmness of god as all things can be reflected in water so the whole universe is mirrored in the lake of cosmic mind so my gurudeva often said soon we entered a university hall where a lecture was in progress it proved abysmally dull though varied occasionally by lantern slide illustrations equally uninteresting so this is the kind of bioscope the master wanted me to see my thought was impatient yet i would not hurt the saint by revealing boredom in my face but he leaned toward me confidentially i see little sir that you don't like this bioscope i have mentioned it to divine mother she is full of sympathy with us both she tells me the electric lights will now go out and won't be relit until we have a chance to leave the room as his whispers ended the hall was plunged in darkness the professor's strident voice was steeled in astonishment and remarked the electrical system of this hall appears to be defective by this time master mahasi and i were safely across the threshold glancing back from the corridor i saw the scene of our martyrdom had again been illuminated little sir you were disappointed in that bioscope but i think you will like a different one the saint and i were standing on the sidewalk in front of the university building he gently slapped my chest over the heart a transforming silent ensued just as the modern talkies became inaudible motion pictures when the sound apparatus goes out of order so the divine hand by some strange miracle stifled the earthly bustle the pedestrians as well as the passing trolley cars automobiles bullock carts and iron-wheeled hackney carriages were all in noiseless transit as though possessing an omnipresent eye i beheld the scenes which were behind me and to each side as easily as those in front the whole spectacle of activity in that small section of a calcutta passed before me without a sound like a glow of fire dimly seen beneath a thin coat of ashes a mellow luminescence permeated the panoramic view my own body seemed nothing more than one of the many shadows though it was motionless while the others flooded mutily to and fro several boys friends of mine approached and passed on though they had looked directly at me it was without recognition the unique pantomime brought me an inexpressible ecstasy i drank deep from some blissful font suddenly my chest received another soft blow from master miyasa the pandemonium of the world burst upon my unwilling ears i staggered as though harshly awakened from a gossamer dream the transcendental wine removed my reach little sir i see you found the second bioscope to your liking the saint was smiling i started to drop in gratitude on the ground before him you can't do that to me now you know god is in your temple also i won't let divine mother touch my feet through your hands if anyone observed the unpretentious master and myself as we walked away from the crowded pavement the onlooker surely suspected us of intoxication i felt that the falling shades of evening were sympathetically drunk with god when darkness recovered from its nightly swoon i faced the new morning bereft of my ecstatic moon but ever enshrined in memory is a seraphic son of divine mother master miyasa trying with poor words to do justice to his bananity i wonder if master miyasi and others among the deep vision saints whose path crossed mine knew that years later in the western land i would be writing about their lives divine devotees their foreknowledge would not surprise me nor i hope my readers who have come thus far with me end of chapter chapter 10 i meet my master shri yukteshwar faith in god can produce any miracle except one passing examination without study distastefully i closed the book i had picked up in an idle moment the writer's exception shows his complete lack of faith i thought poor chap he is great respect for the midnight oil my promise to father had been that i would complete my high school studies i cannot pretend to diligence the passing months found me less frequently in the classroom than in secluded spots along the calcutta bathing gods the adjoining crematory grounds especially gruesome at night are considered highly attractive by the yogi he would find the deathless essence must not be dismayed by a few unadorned skulls human inadequacy becomes clear in the gloomy abode of miscellaneous bones my midnight vigils were thus of a different nature from the scholars the week of final examinations at the hindu high school was fast approaching this interrogatory period like the sepulcher haunts inspires a well-known terror my mind was nevertheless at peace braving the ghouls i was exhuming in knowledge not found in lecture halls but it lacked the art of swami pranabanana who easily appeared in two places at one time my educational dilemma was plainly a matter for the infinite ingenuity this was my reasoning though at many it seemed illogical the devotees irrationality springs from a thousand inexplicable demonstrations of god's instancy and trouble hello makunda i catch hardly a glimpse of you these days a classmate accosted me one afternoon on grouper road hello nantu my invisibility at school has actually placed me there in a decidedly awkward position i unburdened myself under his friendly gaze nantu who was a brilliant student left-heartedly my predicament was not without a comic aspect you are utterly unprepared for the finals i suppose it is up to me to help you the simple words conveyed divine promise to my ears with alacrity i visited my friend's home he kindly outlined solutions to various problems he considered likely to be set by the instructor these questions are the bait which will catch many trusting boys in the examination trap remember my answers and you will escape without injury the night was far gone when i departed bursting with unseasoned erudition i devotedly prayed it would remain for the next few critical days nantu had coached me in my various subjects but under press of time had forgotten my course in sanskrit fervently i reminded god of the oversight i set out on a short walk the next morning assimilating my new knowledge to the rhythm of swinging footsteps as i took a shortcut through the weeds of a corner lot my eye fell on a few loose printed sheets a triumphant pound proved them to be a sanskrit verse i sought out a pundit for aid in my stumbling interpretation his rich voice filled the air with the edgeless honeyed beauty of the ancient tongue these exceptional stanzas cannot possibly be of aid in your sanskrit test the scholar dismissed them sculptingly but familiarity with that particular poem enabled me on the following day to pass the sanskrit examination through discerning help not to have given i also attained the minimum grade for success in all my other subjects father was pleased that i had kept my word and concluded my secondary school course my gratitude sped to the lord whose sole guidance i perceived in my visit to nantu and my walk by the unhabitual route of the debris phil lot playfully he had given a dual expression to his timely design for my rescue i came across the discarded book whose author denied god precedence in the examination hall i could not restrain a chuckle at my own silent comment it would only add to this fellow's confusion if i were to tell him that divine mediation among the cadavers is a shortcut to any high school diploma in my new dignity i was now openly planning to leave home together with young friend jitendra mazumdar i decided to join a muhammadal hermitage in benares and receive its spiritual discipline a desolation fell over me one morning at the thought of separation from my family since mother's death my affection had grown especially tender for my two younger brothers sananda and vishnu i rushed to my retreat the little attic which had witnessed so many scenes in my turbulent sadhana after a two hour flood of tears i felt singularly transformed as by some alchemical cleanser all attachment disappeared my resolution to see god as the friend of friends set like granite was in me i quickly completed my travel preparations i make one last plea father was distressed as i stood before him for final blessing do not forsake me and your grieving brothers and sisters revered father how can i tell you my love for you but even greatest still is my love for the heavenly father who has given me the gift of a perfect father on earth let me go that i someday return with a more divine understanding with reluctant parental consent i set out to join jutendra already in banaras at the hermitage on my arrival the young head swami dayanda greeted me cordially tall and thin of thoughtful mean he impressed me favorably his fair face had a buddha-like composure i was pleased that my new home possessed an attic where i managed to spend the dawn in morning hours the ashram members knowing little of meditation practice thought i should employ my whole time and organizational duties they gave me praise for my afternoon work in their office don't try to catch god so soon this ridicule from a fellow resident accompanied one of my early departures toward the attic i went to dianda busy in a small sanctum overlooking the ganges swamiji i don't understand what is required of me here i am seeking direct perception of god without him i cannot be satisfied with affiliation or creed or performance of good works the orange robe ecclesiastic gave me an affectionate pat staging a mock rebuke he admonished a few nearby disciples don't bother mukunda he will learn our ways i completely canceled my doubt the students left the room not overly bent with their chastisement dianda had further words for me mukunda i see your father is regularly sending you money please return it to him you require none here a second injunction for your discipline concerns food even when you feel hunger don't mention it famishment gleamed in my eyes i knew not that i was hungry i knew only too well the invariable hour for the first hermitage meal was 12 noon i had been accustomed my own home to a large breakfast at nine o'clock the three-hour gap became daily more interminable gone with the calcutta years when i could rebuke the cook for a 10-minute delay now i tried to control my appetite one day i undertook a 24-hour fast with double zest i waited the following midday dianda g's train is late we're not going to eat until he arrives jutender bought me this devastating news as jester of welcome to the swami who had been absent for two weeks many delicacies were in readiness an appetizing aroma filled the air nothing else offering what else could be swallowed except pride over yesterday's achievement of a fast lord hasten the train the heavenly provider i thought was hardly included in the interdiction at which dianda had challenged me divine attention was elsewhere however the plotting clock covered the hours darkness was descending as our leader entered the door my greeting was one of unfeigned joy dyendaji will bathe and meditate before we can serve food jitendra approached me again as a bird of illumine i was in near collapse my young stomach new to deprivation protested with nine vigor pictures i had seen the famine victims passed wraith light before me the next banaras death from starvation is due at once in this hermitage i thought impending doom averted at nine o'clock ambrosial summons in memory that miele's vivid is one of life's perfect hours intense absorption yet permitted me to observe that deanda ate absent-mindedly he was apparently above my gross pleasures swamiji weren't you hungry happily survived i was alone with the leader in a study oh yes i have spent the last four days without food or drink i never eat on trains filled with the heterogeneous vibrations of worldly people strictly i observed the shastric rule for monks of my particular order certain problems of our organizational work lie on my mind tonight at home i've neglected my dinner what's the hurry tomorrow i will make it a point to have a proper meal he left merrily shame spreads within me like a suffocation but the past day of my torture was not easily forgotten i ventured a further remark swamiji i am puzzled following your instructions suppose i never asked for food and nobody gives many i should starve to death die then this alarming council split the air die if you must mukanda never admit that you live by the power of food and not by the power of god he who has created every form of nourishment he who has bestowed appetite will certainly see that his devotee is sustained do not imagine that rice maintains you or that money or men support you could they aid if the lord withdraws your life breath they are his indirect instruments merely is it by any skill of yours that food digests in your stomach use the sword of your discrimination wakanda cut through the chains of agency and perceive the single cause i found his incisive words entering some deep merrill gone was an age-old delusion by which bodily imperatives outwit the soul there and then i tasted the spirits all sufficiency in how many strange cities in my later life of ceaseless travel did occasion arise to prove the surface ability of this lesson in a banara's hermitage the sole treasure which had accompanied me from calcutta was a sadhu silver amulet bequeathed to me by mother guarding it for years i now had it carefully hidden in my ashram room to renew my joy in a talismanic testimony one morning i opened the lock box the sealed covering untouched lo the amulet was gone mournfully i tore open its envelope and made unmistakably sure it had vanished in accordance with the sadhu's prediction in the ether once he had summoned it my relationship with dianda's followers grew steadily worse the household was alienated hurt by my determined aloofness my strict adherence to meditation on the very ideal for which i had left home and all worldly ambitions called forth shallow criticisms on all side torn by spiritual anguish i entered the anik one dawn resolved to pray until answers with vouchsafed merciful mother of the universe teach me thyself through visions or through a guru sent by thee the passing hours found my sobbing please without response suddenly i felt lifted as though bodily to a sphere uncircumscribed thy master cometh today a divine womanly voice came from everywhere and nowhere this supernal experience was pierced by a shout from a definite local a young priest nicknamed habu was calling me from the downstairs kitchen mukunda enough of meditation you are needed for an errand another day i might have replied impatiently now i wet my tear swollen face and meekly obeyed the summons together habu and i set out for a distant marketplace in the bengali section of banaras the young gentle indian sun was not yet at zenith as we made our purchase in the bazaars we pushed our way through the colorful medley of housewives guides priests simply clad widows dignified brahmanas and ubiquitous holy bowls passing an inconspicuous land i turned my head and surveyed the narrow length a christ-like man in an okra robe of swami stood motionless at the end of the road instantly and anciently familiar he seen my gaze fed hungrily for a thrice then doubt assailed me you are confusing this wandering monk with someone known to you i thought dreamer walk on after 10 minutes i felt heavy numbness in my feet as though turned to stone they were unable to carry me further laboriously i turned around my feet regained normalcy i faced the opposite direction again the curious way to pressed me the saint is magnetically drawn me to him with this thought i keep my parcels into the arms of habu he had been observing my erratic footwork of amazement and now burst into laughter what ails you are you crazy my tumultuous emotions prevented any retort i sped silently away retracing my steps as though wing shoot i reached an air lane my quick glance revealed a quiet figure steadily gazing in my direction a few eager steps and i was at his feet gurudeva the divine face was none other than he of my thousand visions these halcyon eyes and leon head with pointed beard and flowing locks had oft peered through gloom of my nocturnal reveries holding a promise i had not yet fully understand o my own you have come to me my guru uttered the words again and again in bengali his voice tremulous with joy how many years i have waited for you we entered a oneness of silence words seem to rank as superficialities flowed in soundless chant from heart of master disciple with an antenna of inferior insight i sense that my guru knew god and would lead me to him the obscuration of his life disappeared in a fragile dawn of prenatal memories dramatic time past present and future are its cycling sayings this was not the first sun to find me at these holy feet my hand and his my guru led me to his temporary residence in the rana mahal section of the city his athletic figure moved with firm tread tall erect about 55 at this time he was active and vigorous as a young man his dark eyes were large beautiful with plumless wisdom slightly curly hair softened the face of striking power strength mingled subtly with gentleness as we made our way to the stone balcony of a house overlooking the ganges he said affectionately i will give you my hermitage and all i possess sir i come for wisdom and god contact those are your treasure troves i'm after the swift indian twilight had dropped its half curtain before my master spoke again his eyes held unfathomable tenderness i give you my unconditional love precious words a quarter century lapse before i had another auricular proof of his love his lips were strange to arter silence became his oceanic heart will you give me the same unconditional love he gazed at me with childlike christ i will love you eternally gurudeva ordinary love is selfish darkly rooted in desire and satisfaction divine love is without condition without boundary without change the flux of the human heart is gone forever at the transfixing touch of pure love he added humbly if ever you find me falling from a state of god realization please promise to put my head on your lap and help to bring me back to the cosmic beloved we both worship he rose then in the gathering darkness and guided me to an inner room as we ate mangoes and almond sweet meats he unobtrusively wove in his conversation an intimate knowledge of my nature i was awestruck at the grandeur of his wisdom exquisitely blended with an innate humility do not grieve for your amulet it has served its purpose like a divine mirror my guru apparently had caught a reflection of my whole life the living reality of your presence master is joy beyond any symbol it is time for a change in as much as you are unhappily situated in the hermitage i had made no reference to my life they now seem superfluous by his natural empathetic manner i understood that he wished no astonished ejaculation in his clairvoyance you should go back to calcutta why exclude relatives for your love of humanity his suggestion dismayed me my family was predicting my return though i had been unresponsive to many pleas by letters let the young bird fly in the metaphysical skies ananda had remarked his wings will tire in the heavy atmosphere we shall yet see him swoop toward home fold his pinions and humbly rest in our family nest this discouraging smile freshened my mind i was determined to do no swooping in the direction of calcutta sir i am not returning home but i will follow you anywhere please give me your address and your name swami shri yukteshwar ghiri my chief hermitage is ceramapore on rai got lane i am visiting my mother here for only a few days i wondered at god's intricate play with his devotees saranpor is about 12 miles from calcutta yet in these regions i had never caught a glimpse of my guru we had to travel for our meetings to the ancient city of kasi banaras hollowed by memories of lari masha here to the feet of buddha shankyachara and other yogi christ had blessed the soil you will come to me in four weeks for the first time sri yuktashwar's voice was stern now i have told my eternal affection and have shown my happiness at finding you that is why you disregard my request the next time we meet you will have to awaken my interest i won't accept you as a disciple easily there must be complete surrender by obedience to my strict training i remained absently silent my guru easily penetrated my difficulty do you think your relatives will laugh at you i will not return you will return in 30 days never bowing reverently at his feet i departed without lightening the controversial tension as i made my way into the midnight darkness i wondered why the miraculous meeting had ended on a harmonious note the dual scales of maya that balance every joy with a grief my young heart was not yet malleable to the transforming fingers of my guru the next morning i noticed increased hostility in the attitude of the hermitage members my days became spiked with invariable rudeness in three weeks denanda left the ashram to attend a conference in bombay pandemonium broke out over my hapless head mukunde is a parasite accepting hermitage hospitality without making proper return overhearing this remark i regretted for the first time that i obeyed the request to send back my money to father with heavy heart i sought out my soul friend jitendra i am leaving please convey my respectful regrets to dianda j when he returns i will leave also my attempts to meditate here meet with no more favor than your own jitendra spoke with determination i have met a christ-like saint let us visit him in syrimpore and so the bird prepared to swoop perishly close to calcutta end of chapter chapter 11 two penniless boys in brindaban it would serve you right if father disinherited you makunda how foolish you are throwing away your life an elder brother's sermon was assaulting my ears jaetendra and i fresh from the train a figure of speech merely we were covered with dust had just arrived at the home of anata recently transferred from calcutta to an ancient city of agra brother was supervised an accountant for the bengal nagpur railroad you well know anata i seek my inheritance from the heavenly father money first god can come later who knows life may be too long god first money is his slave who can tell life may be too short my retort was summoned by the acceptance of the moment and held no presentment yet the leaves of time unfolded to early finality fernata a few years later he entered the land where banknotes availed neither first nor last wisdom from the hermitage i suppose but i see you've left benares and not his eyes gleamed with satisfaction he yet hoped to secure my opinions in the family nest my sojourn in banaras was not in vain i found there everything my my heart had been longing for you may be sure it was not your pundit or a son another joined me in reminiscent laughter he had had to admit that the benares clairvoyant he selected was a short-sighted one what are your plans my wandering brother jatendra persuaded me to agra we shall view the beauties of the taj mahal here i explained then we are going to my newly found guru who has a hermitage in saranpur ananta hospitably arranged for our comfort several times during the evening i noticed his eyes fixed on me reflectively i know that look i thought a plot is brewing the denouncement took place during our early breakfast so you feel quite independent of father's wealth ananza's gaze was innocent as he resumed the barbs of yesterday's conversation i am conscious of my dependence on god words are cheap life has shielded you thus far what a plight if you were forced to look to the invisible hand for your food and shelter you would soon be begging on the streets never i would not put faith in passerbys rather than god he can devise for his devotee a thousand resources besides the banging bowl more rhetoric suppose i suggest that your vaunted philosophy be put to a test in this tangible world i would agree do you confine god to a speculative world we shall see today shall have opportunity either to enlarge or to confirm my own views and not to pause for a dramatic moment then spoke slowly and seriously i propose that i send you and your fellow disciple jutender this morning to the nearby city of brindaban you must not take a single rupee you must not beg either for food or money you must not reveal your predicament to anyone you must go without your meals and you must not be stranded and bender run if you return to my bungalow here before 12 o'clock tonight without having broken any rule of the test i shall be the most astonished man in agra i accept the challenge no hesitation was in my words or in my heart grateful memories flashed of the instant beneficence my healing of deadly cholera through appeal to larry marsha's picture the playful gift for the two kites and the lahore roof with uma the opportune amulet amidst my discouragement the decisive message through the unknown banara sadhu outside the compound of the pundits home division of divine mother and a majestic words of love her swift heed through master miyashi to my trifling embarrassments the last minute guidance which materialized my high school diploma and ultimate boon my living master from the midst of lifelong dreams never could i admit my philosophy unequal to any tussle on the world's harsh proving ground your willingness does you credit i'll escort you to the train at once and not to turn to the open mouth jatendra you must go along as a witness and very likely a fellow victim a half hour later jutender and i were in possession of a one-way ticket for our impromptu trip we submitted in a secluded corner of the station to a search of our persons anata was quickly satisfied that we were carrying no hidden horde or simple daunties concealed nothing more than was necessary as faith invaded the serious realms of finance my friend spoke protestingly ananta gave me one or two rupees as a safeguard then i can telegraph you in case of misfortune jitendra my ejaculation was sharply reproachable i will not proceed with a test if you take any money as final security there is something reassuring about a clink of coins detender said no more as i regarded him sternly mukunda i am not heartless a hint of humility had crept into inactive words it may be that his conscience was smiting him perhaps for sending two insolvent boys to a strange city perhaps for his own religious skepticism if by any chance of grace you pass successfully through the brinduban ordeal i shall ask you to initiate me as your disciple this promise had a certain irregularity in keeping with the unconventional occasion the eldest brother an indian family seldom bounds before his juniors he receives respect and obedience second only to the father but no time remained for my comment our train was at the point of departure jutendra maintaining lagubrious silence our train covered the miles finally he'd be stirring himself leaning over he pinched me painfully in an awkward spot i see no change that god is going to supply our next meal be quiet doubting thomas the lord is working with us can you also arrange that a hurry already i am famished merely at the prospect before us i left benares to mew the taj mausoleum not to enter my own cheer up to chandra are we not in our own first glimpse of the sacred wonders of brindaban i am in deep joy and thought of treading the ground hollowed by feet of lord krishna the door of our compartment opened two men seated himself the next train stop would be the last young lads do you have friends in brindaban the stranger opposite me was taken to surprising interest none of your business rudely i have heard in my gaze you are probably flying away from your families under the enchantment of the steeler of hearts i am a devotional temperament myself i will make it my positive duty to see that you receive food and shelter from this overpowering heat no sir let us alone you are very kind but you are mistaken in judging us to be truants from home no further conversation ensued the train came to a halt as jatendra and i descend into the platform our chance companions linked arms with us and summoned a horse cab we are lit before a stately hermitage set amidst an evergreen tree and well-kept grounds our benefactors were evidently known here a smiling lad led us without comment to a parlor we were soon joined by an elderly woman of dignified baron garami the princes could not come one of the men addressed the ashram hostess at the last moment their plans went awry they sent deep regrets but we have brought to other guests as soon as we met on a train i felt drawn to them as devotees of lord krishna goodbye young friends our two acquaintances walked to the door we shall meet again if god be willing you are welcome here agar am i smiled in motherly fashion of her two unexpected charges you could not have come on a better day i was expecting two royal patrons of this hermitage what a shame if my cooking had found none to appreciate it these appetizing words had disastrous effects on jitendra he burst into tears the prospect he had feared in brinbon was turning out as a royal entertainment his sudden mental judgment proved too much for him our hostess looked at him with curiosity but without remark perhaps she was familiar with adolescent quirks lunch was announced gary ma led the way to a dining patio spicy with savory orders she vanished into an adjoining kitchen i had been premeditating this moment selecting the appropriate spot under tenders autonomy i administered a pinch as resounding as the one he had given me on the train doubting thomas the lord works in a hurry too the hostess re-entered with a punka she steadily fanned us in an oriental fashion as we squatted on an ornate blanket sheet ashram disciples passed to and fro with some surly courses rather than meal the description can only be sumptuously passed since arriving on this planet jitendra and i had never before tasted such delicacies dishes fit for princess indeed honored mother what your royal patrons could have found more urgent than attending this banquet i cannot imagine you have given us a memory for a lifetime silenced as we were by an auntie's requirement we could not explain to the gracious lady that our thanks held a double significance our sincerity at least was patent we departed with her blessing and an attractive invitation to her visit the hermitage the heat outdoors was merciless my friend and i made for a shelter of a lordly kalama tree at the ashram gate sharp words followed once again jitendra was beset with misgivings a fine mess you have gotten me into our luncheon was only accidental good fortune how can we see the sights of the city without a single peace between us and how on earth are you going to take me back to anatas you forget god quickly now that your stomach is filled my words not bitter were accusatory how short is human memory for divine favors no man lives who has not seen certain on his prayers granted i am not likely to forget my folly in venturing out with a madcap like you be quiet jatendra the same lord who fed us will show us brindaban and return us to agra a slight young man of pleasing countenance approached at rapid pace halting under our tree he bowed before me dear friend you and your companion must be strangers here permit me to be your host and guide it is scarcely possible for an indian to pale but jatendra's face was suddenly sickly i politely declined the offer you are surely not banishing me the stranger's alarm would have been comic in any other circumstance why not you are my guru his eyes sought mind trustfully during my midday devotions the blessed lord krishna appeared in a vision he showed me two forsaken figures under this very tree one face was yours my master often have i ever seen it in meditation what joy if you accept my humble services i too am glad you have found me neither god nor man has forsaken us though i was motionless smiling at the eager face before me and inward obeisance cast me at the divine feet dear friends will you not honor my home for a visit you are kind but the plan is unfeasible already we are guests that my brother in agra at least give me memories of tori and brindaban with you i gladly consented the young man who said his name was pratab chatterjee hailed a horse carriage we visited madonna hamad temple and other krishna shrines night descended while we were at our temple devotions excuse me while i get sandesh pradap entered a shop near the railroad station jitendra and i sauntered along the wide street crowded now in the comparative coolness our friend was absent for some time but finally returned with gifts of many sweet meats please allow me to gain this religious merit pratap smiled pleadingly as he held out a bundle of rupee notes and two tickets just purchased agra the reverence of my acceptance was for the invisible hand scoffed at by anata hand its bounty not far exceeded necessity we sought out a secluded spot near the station pradap i will instruct you in the kriya of larimasha the greatest yogi of modern times his techniques will be your guru the initiation was concluded in a half an hour kriya is your chintamani i told the new student the teaching which as you see is simple embodies the art of quickening man's spiritual evolution hindu scriptures teach that the incarnating ego requires a million years to obtain liberation for maya this natural period is greatly shortened through kriya yoga just as jagadis chandra bose has demonstrated that plant growth can be accelerated far beyond its normal rate so man's psychological development can be also speeded by inner science be faithful in your practice you will approach the guru of all gurus i am transported to find this yoga ki longshot pratap spoke thoughtfully its unshackling effect on my sensory bonds will free me for higher spheres the vision today of lord krishna could only mean my highest good we sat a while in silent understanding then walked slowly to the station joy was within me as i boarded the train but this was jatendra's day for tears my affectionate farewell to pratap had been punctuated by stiff sobs from both my companions the journey once more found jatendra in a welter of grief not for himself this time but against himself how shallow my trust my heart has been stoned never in future shall i doubt god's protection midnight was approaching the two cinderellas sent forth penniless entered anata's bedroom his face as he had promised was a study in astonishment silently i showered the table with rupees jatinder the truth anata's voice was jocular has not this youngster been staging a hold up but as the tale was unfolded my brother turned sober then solemn the law of demand and supply reaches into subtler realms than i had supposed are not to spoke with a spiritual enthusiasm never before noticeable i understand for the first time your indifference to the vaults and vulgar accumulations of the world late as it was my brother insisted that he receive diksa into kriya yoga the guru mukunda had to shoulder the responsibility of two unsought disciples in one day breakfast the following morning was eaten in harmony absent the day before i smiled at tendra you shall not be cheated at the taj let us view it before starting for saranpur bidding farewell to not to my friend i were soon before the glory of the agra the taj mahal white marble dazzling in the sun it stands a vision of pure symmetry the perfect setting in dark cypress grassy lawn and tranquil lagoon the interior is exquisite with lace-like carvings inlaid with semi-precious stones delicate wreath and scrolls emerge intricately from marble brown and violet illumination from the dome falls on the cenotaphs of emperor shadhan and mumta mahal queen of this realm in his heart enough of sightseeing i was longing for my guru jatendra and i were shortly traveling south by train toward bengal mukunda i have not seen my family in months i have changed my mind perhaps later i shall visit your master in saranpur my friend who may mildly be described as vacillating temperament left me in calcutta by local train i soon reached saranpor 12 miles to the north a throb of wonderment stole over me as i realized that 28 days had a lap since the benares meeting with my guru you will come to me in four weeks here i was heart pounding standing within his courtyard on quiet rye got lane i entered for the first time the hermitage where i was to spend the best part of the next 10 years with india's giant avatar incarnation of wisdom end of chapter chapter 12 years in my master's hermitage you have come sri yuktoswar greeted me from a tiger skin on the floor of a balcony sitting room his voice was cold his manner unemotional yes dear master i am here to follow you kneeling i touched his feet how can that be you ignore my wishes no longer guruji your wish shall be my law that is better now i can assume responsibility for your life i willingly transfer the burden master my first request then is that you return home to your family i want you to enter college in calcutta your education should be continued very well sir i hid my consternation would in-pertune books pursue me down the years first father now sri yukteswar someday you will go to the west its people will lend ears more receptive to india's ancient wisdom if the strange hindu teacher has a university degree you know besh guruji my gloom departed the reference to the west i found puzzling remote but my opportunity to please master by obedience was vitally immediate you will be near in calcutta come here whenever you find time every day of possible master gratefully i accept your authority in every detail of my life on one condition yes that you promised to reveal god to me an hour-long verbal tussle ensued a master's word cannot be falsified it is not lightly given the implications in the pledge open out vast metaphysical vistas a guru must be on intimate terms indeed with the creator before he can obligate him to appear i sensed sri yuktoswar's divine unity and was determined as his disciple to press to my advantage you are exacting disposition then masters consent rang out with compassion of finality let your wish be my wish lifelong shadow lifted from my heart the vague search hither and yawn was over i had found eternal shelter and a two grew come i shall show you the hermitage master rose from his tiger mat i glanced about me my gaze fell of astonishment on a wall picture garland with a spray of jasmine larry masha yes my divine guru sri yukteshwar's tone was revenantly vibrant greater he was as man and yogi than any other teacher whose life came within the range of my investigation silently i bowed before the familiar picture soul homage spread to the peerless master who blessing my infancy had guided my steps to this hour led by my guru i strolled around the house and its grounds large ancient and well built the hermitage was surrounded by a massive pillared courtyard outer walls were moss covered pigeons flooded over the flat gray roof unceremoniously sharing the ashram quarters a rear garden was pleasant with jackfruit mango and plantain trees balustered balconies of upper rooms in the two-storied building faced the courtyard from three sides a spacious ground floor hall with high ceiling supported by colonnades was used master said chiefly during the annual festivities of durga puja a narrow stairway led to sri yukto joer's sitting room whose small balcony overlooked the street the ashram was plainly furnished everything was simple clean and utilitarian several western style chairs benches and tables were in evidence master invited me to stay overnight a supper of vegetable curry was served by two young disciples who were receiving hermitage training guruji please tell me something of your life i was squatting on a straw mat near his tiger skin the friendly stars were very close it seemed beyond the balcony my family name was priya nathcarr i was born here in saranpor where father was a wealthy businessman he left me this ancestral mansion now my hermitage my formal schooling was little i found it slow and shallow in early manhood i undertook the responsibility of a householder and have one daughter now married my middle life was blessed with the guidance of larimasha after my wife died i joined the swami order and received the new name of sri yukteshwar ghiri such are my simple animals masters smiled at my eager face like all biographical sketches his words had given the outward facts without revealing the inner man guruji i would like to hear some stories of your childhood i will tell you a few each one with a moral yukteshwar's eyes twinkled with his warning my mother once tried to frighten me with an appalling story of a ghost in a dark chamber i went there immediately and expressed my disappointment at having missed the ghost mother never told me another horror tale moral look fear in the face and it will cease to trouble you another early memory is my wish for an ugly dog belonging to a neighbor i kept my household in turmoil for weeks to get that dog my ears were deaf to offers of pets with more pre-possessing appearance moral attachment is blinding it lends an imaginary halo of attractiveness to the object of desire a third story concerns the plasticity of the youthful mind i heard my mother remark occasionally a man who accepts a job under anyone as a slave that impression became so indelibly fixed that even after my marriage i refused all positions i made expenses by investing my family endowment and land moral good and positive suggestions should instruct the sensitive ears of children their early ideas long remain sharply etched master fell into tranquil silence around midnight he led me to a narrow cot sleep was sound and sweet the first night under my guru's rough sri yakteshwar chose the following morning to grant me his kriya yoga initiation the technique i had already received from two disciples of larry masha father and my tutor swami kevalanda but in masters present i felt transforming power at his touch a great light broke over my being like glory of countless suns blazing together a flood of ineffable bliss overwhelming my heart to the innermost core continued during the following day it was late that afternoon before i could bring myself to leave the hermitage you will return in 30 days as i reached my calcutta home the fulfillment of masters prediction entered with me none of my relatives made the pointed remarks i had feared about the reappearance of the soaring bird i climbed to my little attic and bestowed affectionate glances as though on a living presence you have witnessed my meditations and the tears and storms of my sadhana now i have reached the harbor of my divine teacher son i am happy for us both father and i sat together in the evening calm you have found your guru as in miraculous fashion i once found my own the holy land of larry mashu is guarding our lives your master has proved no inaccessible himalayan saint but one nearby my prayers have been answered you have not in your search for god been permanently removed from my sight father was also pleased that my formal studies would be resumed he made suitable arrangements i was enrolled the following day at the scottish church college in calcutta happy months spread by my readers have doubtless made the prospicious surmise that i was little seen in the college classroom the serenpor hermitage held a lure too irresistible master accepted my ubiquitous present without comment to my relief he seldom referred to the halls of learning though it was plain to all that i was never cut out for a scholar i managed to attain minimum passing grades from time to time a daily life at the ashram flowed smoothly and frequently varied my guru awoke before dawn lying down or sometimes sitting on the bed he entered a state of samadhi it was simplicity itself to discover when mastered awakened abrupt halt of stupendous snores a sigh or two perhaps a bodily movement then a soundless state of breathlessness he was in deep yogic joy breakfast did not follow first came along walked by the ganges those mornings strolled with my guru how real and vivid still in the easy resurrection of memory i often find myself by his sign the early sun and warming the river his voice rings out rich with the authenticity of wisdom a bath then the midday meal its preparation according to master's daily direction had been the careful task of young disciples my guru was a vegetarian before embracing mongkut however he had eaten eggs and fish his advice to students was to follow any simple diet which proved suited to one's constitution master ate little often rice colored with turmeric or juice of beets or spinach and lightly sprinkle with buffalo ghee or melted butter another day he might have lentil dal or china jury with vegetable for dessert mangoes or oranges with rice pudding or jackfruit juice visitors appeared in the afternoon a steady stream poured from the world into the hermitage tranquility everyone found and master in equal courtesy and kindness to a man who had realized himself as a soul not the body or the ego the rest of humanity assumes a striking similarity of aspect the impartiality of saints is rooted in wisdom masters have escaped maya it's alternating faces of intellect and idiocy no longer cast an influential glance shri yukteshwar showed no special consideration to those who happened to be powerful accomplished neither did he slight others for their poverty or illiteracy he would listen respectfully to words of truth from a child and openly ignore a conceited pundit eight o'clock was a supper hour and sometimes found lingering guests my guru would not excuse himself to eat alone none left his ashram hungry or dissatisfied sri yukteswar was never at a loss never dismayed by unexpected visitors scanty food would emerge a banquet under his resourceful direction yet he was economical his modest funds went far be comfortable within your purse he often said extravagance will buy you discomfort whether in the details of hermitage entertainment or his building and repair work or other practical concerns master manifested the originality of a creative spirit quiet evening hours brought one of my guru's discourses treasure against time his every utterance was measured and chiseled by wisdom a sublime self-assurance marked his mode of expression it was unique he spoke as none other in my experience ever spoke his thoughts were weighed in a delicate balance of discrimination before he permitted them an outward garb the essence of truth all pervasive with even a psychological aspect came from him like a fragrant exertion of the soul i was conscious always that i was in the presence of a living manifestation of god the weight of his divinity automatically bowed my head before him if late guests detected that sri yakushwa was becoming engrossed with the infinite he quickly engaged them in conversation he was incapable of striking a pose or flaunting his inner withdrawal always one with the lord he needed no separate time for communion a self-realized master is already left behind the stepping stone of meditation the flower falls when the fruit appears but saints often cling to spiritual forms for the encouragement of disciples as midnight approached my guru might fall into a doze with the naturalness of a child there was no fuss about betting he often laid down without even a pillow on a narrow davenport which was the background for his customary tiger-skinned seat a night-long philosophical discussion was not rare any disciple could summon it by intensity of interest i felt no tiredness then no desire for sleep masters living words were sufficient oh it is dawn let us walk by the ganges so ended many of my periods of nocturnal edification my early month was three jackshoir cultivated in a useful lesson how to outwit a mosquito at my home my family always used protective curtains tonight i was dismayed to discover that in the sarampur hermitage this prudent custom was honored in the breach yet the insects were in full residency i was bitten from head to toe my guru took pity on me buy yourself a curtain and also one for me he laughed and added and if you buy only one for yourself all mosquitoes will concentrate on me i was more than thankful to comply every night that i spent in sirenpore my guru would ask me to arrange the bedtime curtains the mosquitoes one evening were especially virulent my master failed to issue his usual instructions i listened nervously to the anticipatory hum of the insects getting into bed i threw a proprietary prayer in their general direction a half hour later i coughed pretentiously to attract my guru's attention i thought i would go mad with the bites and especially the singing drone of the mosquitoes celebrated bloodthirsty rides no responsiveness stir from master i approached him cautiously he was not breathing this was my first observation of him in the yogic trance it filled me with fright his heart must have failed i placed a mirror under his nose no breath vapor appeared to make doubly certain for minutes i closed his mouth and nostrils with my finger his body was cold and motionless in a daze i turned toward the door to summon help so a budding experimentalist my poor nose master's voice was shaky with laughter why don't you go to bed is the whole world going to change for you change yourself be rid of the mosquito consciousness meekly i returned to my bed not one insect ventured near i realized that my guru had previously agreed to the curtains only to please me he had no fear of mosquitoes his yogic power was such that he either could will them not to bite or could escape to an inner invulnerability he is giving me a demonstration i thought this is the yogic state i must strive to attain a yogi must be able to pass into and continue in the super consciousness regardless of multitudinous distractions never present from this earth whether in the buzz of insects or the pervasive glare of daylight the testimony of the senses must be barred sound in sight come then indeed but to worlds fairer than the banished eden the instructive mosquito served for another early lesson at the ashram it was the gentle hour of dusk my guru was matchesly interpreted in the ancient texts at his feet i was in perfect peace a rude mosquito entered the idol and competed for my attention as it dug a poisonous hypodermic needle into my thigh i automatically raised an avenging hand reprieve from impending execution an opportune memory came to me of one of patanjali's yoga aphromisms that on a shimmer harmlessness why didn't you finish the job master do you advocate taking life no but the death blow already had been struck in your mind i don't understand patanjali's meaning was that the removal of desire to kill sri yukteshwar had found many mental processes an open book this world is inconveniently arranged for a literal practice of ahimsa man may be compelled to exterminate harmful creatures he is not under similar compulsion to feel anger or animosity all forms of life have equal right to the heir of maya the saint who uncovers the secret of creation will be in harmony with its countless bewildering expressions all men may approach that understanding who curb the inner passion for destruction guruji should one offer himself to a sacrifice rather than to kill the wild beast no man's body is precious it has the highest evolutionary value because of unique brain and spinal centers these enable the advanced devotee to fully grasp and express the loftiest aspects of divinity no lower form is so equipped it is true that one incurs the dead of a minor sin if he is forced to kill an animal or any living being but the vedas teach that wanton loss of human body is a serious transgression against the karmic law i sight in relief scriptural reinforcement of one's natural instinct is not always forthcoming it so happened that i never saw a master at close quarters with a leopard or a tiger but a deadly cobra once confronted him only to be conquered by my guru's love this variety of snake is much feared in india where it causes more than five thousand deaths annually the dangerous encounter took place at puri where shri yukteshwar had a second hermitage charmingly situated near the bay of bengal prophyla a young disciple of later years was with master on his occasion we were seated outdoors near the ashram professor told me a cobra appeared nearby a four foot length of sheer terror its hood was angrily expanded as it raised toward us my guru gave a welcoming chuckle as though to a child i was beside myself with consternation to see master engage in a rhythmical clapping of hands he was entertaining the dread visitor i remained absolutely quiet inwardly ejaculating what fervent prayers i could muster the serpent very close to my guru was now motionless seemingly magnetized by his cressing attitude the frightful hood gradually contracted the snake slithered between master's feet and disappeared into the bushes why my guru would move his hands and why the cobra would not strike them were inexplicable to me then prafulla concluded i have since come to realize that my divine master is beyond fear of hurt from any living creature one afternoon during my early months at the ashram found shri yukteshwar's eyes fixed on me personally you are too thin mukunda his remarks struck a sensitive point that my sunken eyes and emaciated appearance were from my liking was testified by rows of tonics in my room of calcutta nothing availed chronic dyspepsia had pursued me since childhood my despair reached an occasional zenith when i asked myself if it were worthwhile to carry on this life with a body and sound medicines have limitations the creative life force has none believe that you should be well and strong shri yukteshwar's words arouse the conviction of personally applicable truth which no other healer and i had tried many had been able to summon within me day by day behold i waxed two weeks after masters hidden blessing i had accumulated the invigorating weight which eluded me in the past my persistent stomach ailments vanished with a lifelong permanency on later occasion i witnessed my guru's instantaneous divine healings of persons suffering from ominous diseases tuberculosis diabetes epilepsy or paralysis no one could have been more grateful for this cure than i was at sudden freedom from my cadaverous aspect years ago i too was anxious to put on weight sri toshua told me during convalescence after a severe illness i visited larry masha and benares sir i've been very sick and lost many pounds i see yakuza you made yourself unwell and now you think you are thin this reply was far from the one i expected my guru however added encouragingly let me see i am sure you ought to feel better tomorrow taking his words the gesture of secret healing toward my receptive mind i was not surprised the next morning at a welcome ascension of strength i sought out my master in exclaiming exaltingly sir i feel much better today indeed today you invigorate yourself no master i protested it was you who helped me this is the first time in weeks that i've had any energy oh yes your malady has been quite serious your body is frail yet who can say how it will be tomorrow the thought of possible return of my weakness brought me a shutter of cold fear the following morning i could hardly drag myself to larry mosher's home sir i am aiding again my guru's glance was quizzical so once more you indispose yourself guru i realize now that day by day you have been ridiculed me my patience was exhausted i don't understand why you disbelief my truthful reports really it has been your thoughts that have made you feel alternately weak and strong my master looked at me affectionately you have seen how your health was exactly followed your expectation thought is a force even as electricity or gravitation the human mind is a spark of the almighty consciousness of god i could show you that whatever your powerful mind believes very intensely would instantly come to pass knowing that larry masha never spoke idly i addressed him with the great on gratitude master if i think i am well and have regained my former weight shall not happen it is so even at this moment my guru spoke gravely his gaze concentrated in my eyes lo i felt an increase not a loan of strength but of weight larry marcia retreated into silence after a few hours at his feet i returned to my mother's home where i stayed during my visit to benares my son what is the matter i use swelling with dropsy mother could hardly believe her eyes my body was now the same robust dimensions that it possessed before my illness i weighed myself and found that in one day i had gained fifty pounds they remained with me permanently friends and acquaintance who had seen my thin figure were aghast with wonderment a number of them changed their mode of life and became disciples of larry marsha as a result of this miracle my guru awakened god knew this world to be nothing but objectified dream of the creator because he was completely aware of his unity with a divine dreamer larry miyasa could materialize or dematerialize or make any change he wished in the cosmic vision all creation is governed by law sri yakutashwar concluded the ones which manifest in the outer universe discoverable by scientists are called natural laws but there are subtler laws ruling the realms of consciousness which can be known only through the inner science of yoga the hidden spiritual planes also have their natural and lawful principles of operation it is not the physical scientist but the fully self-realized master who comprehends the true nature of matter thus christ was able to restore the servant's ear after it had been severed by one of his disciples sri yak deshwar was a peerless interpreter of the scriptures many of my happiest memories are centered in his discourses but his jeweled thoughts were not cast into ashes of heatlessness or stupidity one restless movement of my body or my slight lapse in absentmindedness suffice to put an abrupt end to masters exposition you are not here master interrupted himself one afternoon with his disclosure as usual he was keeping track of my attention with a devastating immediacy guruji my tone was a protest i have not stirred my eyelids have not moved i can repeat each word you have uttered nevertheless you were not fully with me your objection forces to me remarked that in your mental background you were creating three institutions one was a sylvan retreat on a plane another on a hilltop a third by the ocean those vaguely formulated thoughts had indeed been present almost subconsciously i glanced at him and apologetically you have given me that right the subtle truth i am expounding cannot be grasped without your complete concentration unless necessary i do not invade the seclusion of other minds man has a natural privilege of roaming secretly among his thoughts the unbidden lore does not enter there neither do i venture intrusion you are ever welcome master your architectural dreams will materialize later now is the time for study thus incidentally my guru revealed in his simple ways the coming of three great events in my life since early youth i had enigmatic glimpses of three buildings each in a different setting in the exact sequence sri had indicated these visions took ultimate form first came my founding of a boy's yoga school on a raunchy plane then my american headquarters on a los angeles hilltop finally a hermitage in southern california by the vast pacific master never arrogantly asserted i prophesize that such and such an event shall occur he would rather hint don't you think it may happen but his simple speech hid vatic power there was no recanting never did his slightly veiled words prove false shri yuktathwar was reserved and matter of fact and demeanor there was not of the vague or daffine visionary about him his feet were firm on the earth his head in the heaven of heaven practical people arouse his admiration saintliness is not dumbness divine perceptions are not incapacitating he would say the active expression of virtue gives rise to the keenest intelligence in master's life i fully discovered the cleavage between spiritual realism and the obscure mysticism that spuriously passes on as a counterpart my guru was reluctant to discuss the super physical realms his only marvelous aura was one of perfect simplicity in conversation he avoided startling references in action he was freely expressive others talked of miracles but couldn't manifest nothing shri yuktaswar seldom mentioned the subtle odds but secretly operated them at will a man of realization does not perform any miracles until he receives an inward sanction master explained god does not wish the secrets of his creation revealed promiscuously also every individual in the world has inalienable right to his free will a saint will not encroach upon that independence the silence habitual the sri yukteshwar was caused by his deep perception of the infinite no time remained for the interminable revelations that occupy the days of teachers without self-realization in shallow men the fish of little thoughts cause much commotion in oceanic minds the whales of inspiration make hardly a ruffle this observation from the hindu scriptures is not without discerning humor because of my guru's unspectacular guys only a few of his contemporaries recognized him as a superman the popular adage he is a fool that cannot conceal his wisdom could never be applied to sri yakushwa though born immortal like ourselves master had achieved identity with the ruler of time and space in his life i perceived a god-like unity he had not found any inseparable obstacle to emergence of the human with divine no such barrier exists i came to understand saving man's spiritual unadventuredness i always thrilled at the touch of three york dejar's holy feet yogis teach that a disciple is spiritually magnetized by reverent contact with a master a subtle current is generated the devotee's undesirable habit mechanisms in the brain are often cauterized the groove of his worldly tendencies beneficially disturbed momentarily at least he may find the secret veils of maya lifting and glimpse the reality of bliss my whole body responded with a liberating glow whenever i knelt in the indian fashion before my guru even when larry marshall was silent master told me or when he conversed on other than strictly religious topics i discovered that nonetheless he had transmitted to me ineffable knowledge sri yakushwa affected me similarly if i entered the hermitage in a worried or indifferent frame of mind my attitude imperceptibly changed a healing calm descended at mere sight of my guru every day with them was a new experience in joy peace and wisdom never did i find him deluded or intoxicated with greed or emotion or anger of any human attachment the darkness of maya is silently approaching let us hide homeward within with these words at dusk master constantly reminded his disciples of their need for kriya yoga a new student occasionally expressed doubts regarding his own worthiness to engage in yoga practice forget the past sri yuktoswar would console him the vanished lives of all men are dark with many shames human conduct is ever unreliable until anchored in the divine everything in future will improve if you are making a spiritual effort now master always had young chiles in his hermitage their spiritual and intellectual education was his lifelong interest even shortly before he passed on he accepted for training two six-year-old boys and one youth of sixteen he directed their minds and lives with the careful discipline in which the word disciple is etymologically rooted the ashram residents loved and revered their guru a slight clap of his hand suffice to bring them eager to decide when his mood was silent withdrawn no one ventured to speak when his laugh reigned joyfully children looked upon him as their own master seldom asked others to render him any personal service nor would he accept help from a student unless the willingness was sincere my guru quietly washed his clothes as the disciples overlooked the privileged task sri yakushwar wore the traditional okra colored swami robe his laceless shoes in accordance with the yogi custom were of tiger or deer skin masters spoke fluent english french hindi and bengali his sanskrit was fair he patiently instructed his young disciples by certain shortcuts which he had ingeniously devised for the study of english in sanskrit master was cautious of his body while withholding solicitous attachment the infinite he pointed out properly manifest through physical and mental soundness he discounted any extremes a disciple once started along fast my guru only laughed why not throw the dog a bone shri yuktoshwar's health was excellent i never saw him unwell he permitted students to consult doctors if they seemed advisable his purpose was to give respect to the worldly custom physicians must carry on their work of healing through god's law as applied to matter but he extolled the superiority of mental therapy and often repeated wisdom is the greatest cleanser the body is a treacherous friend give it its due no more pain and pleasure are transitory endure all dualities with calmness while trying at the same time to remove their hold imagination is a door through which disease as well as healing enters disbelief in the reality of sickness even when you are ill an unrecognized visitor will flee master numbered many doctors among his disciples those who have fared it out the physical laws can easily investigate the science of the soul he told him a subtle spiritual mechanism is hidden just behind the bodily structure sri yuktaswar counseled his students to be living liaisons of western and eastern virtues himself an executive occidental and outer habits inwardly he was a spiritual oriental he praised the progressive resourceful and hygienic habits of the west and the religious ideals which give a centuried halo to the east had not been unknown to me at home father was strict and not to often severe but sri yaktushwar's training cannot be described as other than drastic a perfectionist my guru was hypocritical of his disciples whether in matters of moment or in the subtle nuances of behavior good manners without sincerity are like a beautiful dead lady he remarked on suitable occasions straightforwardness without civility is like a surgeon's knife effective but unpleasant candor with curiosity is helpful and admirable master was apparently satisfied with my spiritual progress for he seldom referred to it in other matters my eyes were no strangers to reproof my chief offenses were absent-mindedness intermittent indulgence and sad moods non-observance of certain rules of etiquette and occasional unmethodical ways observe how the activities of your father bhagavati are well organized and balanced in every way my guru pointed out the two disciples of larry moshe had met soon after i began my pilgrimage at saranpur father and sri yakdeshwar admirably evaluated the others worth both had built an inner life of spiritual granite insoluble against the ages from transient teachers of my early life i had imbibed a few erranus lessons achilla i was told need not concern himself strenuously over worldly duties when i had neglected or carelessly performed my tasks i was not chastised human nature finds such instruction very easy of assimilation under masters on sparing rod however i soon recovered from the agreeable delusion of irresponsibility those who are too good for this world are adorning some other sri yakteshwar remarked so long as you breathe the free air of earth you are under obligation to render grateful service he alone who has fully mastered the breathless state is freed from cosmic imperative i will not fail to let you know when you have attained the final perfection my guru could never be bribed even by love he showed no leniency to anyone who like myself willingly offered to be his disciple whether master and i were surrounded by his students or by strangers or were alone together he always spoke plainly and unbraided sharply no trifling lapse into shallowness or inconsistency escaped his rebuke this flattening treatment was hard to endure but my resolve was to allow sri yar to iron out each of my psychological kinks as he labored at this titanic transformation i shook many times into the weight of his disciplinary hammer if you don't like my words you are at liberty to leave at any time master assured me i want nothing from you but your own improvement stay only if you feel benefited for every humbling blow he dealt my vanity for every tooth in my metaphorical jaw he knocked loose with stunning aim i am grateful beyond any faculty of expression the hard core of human egotism is hardly to be dislodged except rudely when its departure the divine finds at last an unobstructed channel in vain it seeks to percolate through flinty hearts of selfishness sri yakushwar's wisdom was so penetrating that heedless of remarks he often replied to one's unspoken observation what a person imagines he hears and what the speaker is really implied maybe pulls apart he said try to feel the thoughts beyond the confusion of man's verbiage but divine insight is painful to worldly ears a master was not popular with superficial students the wise always few in number deeply revered him i dare say sri yakushwar would have been the most sought after guru in india had his words not been so candid and so centurious i am hard on those who come for my training he admitted to me that is my way take it or leave it i will never compromise but you will be much kinder to your disciples that is your way i try to purify only in the fires of severity searing beyond the average toleration the dental approach of love is also transfiguring the inflexible and the yielding methods are equally effective if applied with wisdom you will go to foreign lands where blunt assaults on the ego are not appreciated a teacher could not spread india's message in the west without an ample fund of accommodative patience and forbearance i refuse to state the amount of truth i later came to find in masters words through sri yuktoshwar's undissembling speech prevented a large following during his years on earth nevertheless his living spirit manifests today over the world through sincere students of his kriya yoga and other teaching he has further dominion in men's souls than ever alexander dreamed of in the soil father arrived one day to pay his respects to sri yakushwar my parent expected very likely to hear some words in my praise he was shocked to be given a long account of my imperfections it was masters practice to recount simple negligible shortcuts with an air of portentous or gravity my father rushed to see me from you guru's remark i thought to find you a complete rack my parent was between tears and laughter the only cause of sri yaktaswar's displeasure at the time was that i had been trying against his gentle hint to convert a certain man to the spiritual path with indignant speed i sought out my guru he received me with downcast eyes as though conscious of guilt it was the only time i ever saw the divine line meek before me the unique moment was savor to the full sir why do you judge me so mercilessly before my astounded father was that just i will not do it again masters tone was apologetic instantly i was disarmed how readily the great man admitted his fault though he never again upset father's peace of mind master relentlessly continued to dissect me whenever and wherever he chose new disciples often join sri yakushwar and exhaustive criticism of others wise like the guru models of flawless discrimination but he who takes the offensive must not be defenseless the same carping students fled precipitously as soon as master publicly unloosed in their direction a few shafts from his analytical quiver tender inner weakness revolting at mild touches of censor are like diseased parts of the body recoiling before even delicate handling this was reactive war's amused comment on the flighty ones there are disciples who seek a guru made in their own image such students often complain that they did not understand sri yakushwa neither do you comprehend god i retorted on one occasion when a saint is clear to you you will be one among the trillion mysteries breathing every second the inexplicable air who may venture to ask that the fathomless nature of a master be instantly grasped students came and generally went those who craved a path of oily sympathy and comfortable recognition did not find it the hermitage master offered shelter and shepherding for the eons but many disciples miserly demanded ego balm as well they departed preferring little life's countless humiliation before any humility masters blazing rays the open penetrating sunshine of his wisdom were too powerful for their spiritual sickness they sought some lesser teacher who's shading them with flattery permitted the fitful sleep of ignorance during my early months with master i had experienced a sensitive fear of his reprimands these were reserved i soon saw for disciples who would ask for his verbal victim if any writhing students made a protest sri yakdiswar would become unoffendedly silent his words were never wrathful but impersonal with wisdom master's insight was not for the unprepared ears of casual visitors he seldom remarked on their defects even if conspicuous but towards students who sought his counsel sri yakushwar felt a serious responsibility brave indeed is the guru who undertakes to transform the crude ore of ego permeated humanity a saints courage roots in his compassion for the stumbling eyeless of the world when i had abandoned underlying resentment i found a marked decrease in my chastisement in a very subtle way master melted into comparative clemency in time i demolished every wall of rationalization and subconscious reservation behind which the human personality generally shields itself the reward was an effortless harmony with my guru i discovered then to be trusting considerate and silently loving undemonstrative however he bestowed no word of affection my own temperament is principally devotional it was disconcerting at first to find that my guru saturated with gianna but seemingly dry to bhakti expressed himself only in terms of cold spiritual mathematics but as i tuned myself to his nature i discovered no diminution but rather increase in my devotional approach to god a self-realized masters fully able to guide his various disciples along natural lines of their essential bias my relationship with sri yakushwar somewhat inarticulate nonetheless possessed all eloquence often i found his silent signature on my thoughts rendering speech in util quietly sitting beside him i felt his bounty pouring peacefully over my being sri yakushwar's impartial justice was notably demonstrated during the summer vacation my first college year i welcomed the opportunity to spend uninterrupted months at the saranpur with my guru you may be in charge of the hermitage master was pleased over my enthusiastic arrival your duties will be the reception of guests and supervision of the work of the other disciples kumar a young villager from east bengal was accepted a fortnight later for hermitage training remarkably intelligent he quickly won sri yakushwa's affection for some unfathomable reason the master was very lenient to the new resident mukunda let kumar assume your duties employ your own time in sweeping and cooking master issued these instructions after the new boy had been with us for a month exalted the leadership kumar exercised the petty household tyranny in silent mutiny the other disciples continue to seek me out for daily counsel mukunda is impossible you made me supervisor yet the others go to him and obey him three weeks later kumar was complaining to our guru i overheard him from an adjoining room that's why i assigned him to the kitchen and you to the parlor sri yakdiswar's withering tones were new to kumar in this way you have come to realize that a worthy leader has the desire to serve and not to dominate you wanted mukunda's position but could not maintain it by merit return now to your earlier work as a cook's assistant after this humbling incident master resumed toward kumar a former attitude of unwanted indulgence who can solve the mystery of attraction in kumar our guru discovered a charming fount which did not spurt from the fellow disciples though the new boy was obviously sri yuktoswar's favorite i felt no dismay personal idiosyncrasies possessed even by masters lend a rich complexity to the pattern of life my nature is seldom commandeered by the detail i was seeking from sri yateshwar a more inaccessible benefit than an outward praise kumar spoke venomously to me one day without reason i was deeply hurt your head is swelling to the bursting point i added a warning whose truth i felt intuitively unless you mend your way someday you will be asked to leave this ashram laughing sarcastically kumar repeated my remark to our guru who had just entered the room fully expecting to be scolded i retired meekly to the corner maybe mukunda is right master's reply to the boy came with unusual coldness i escaped without castigation a year later kumar sent out for a visit to his childhood home he ignored the quiet disapproval of sri yukteswar who never authoritatively controlled his disciples movements on the boy's return to saranpur in a few months that change was unpleasantly apparent gone was a stately kumar with serenely glowing face only an undistinguished peasant stood before us one who had lately acquired a number of evil habits masters summoned me and broke-heartedly discussed the fact that the boy was now unsuited to the monastic hermitage's life mukunda i will leave it to you to instruct kumar to leave the ashram tomorrow i can't do it tears stood in sri yuktoshore's eyes but he controlled himself quickly the boy would never have fallen to these depths had he listened to me and not gone away to mix with undesirable companions he has rejected my protection the callous world must be his guru still kumar's departure brought me no elation sadly i wondered how one with power to win a master's love could ever respond to cheaper allures enjoyment of wine and sex are rooted in a natural man and require no delicacies of perception for their appreciation sense wilds are comparable to the evergreen oleander fragrant with its multi-colored flowers every part of the plant is poisonous the land of healing lies within radiant without happiness blindly sought in a thousand misdirections keen intelligence is too edged master once remarked in reference to kumar's brilliant mind it may be used constructively or destructively like a knife either to cut the boil of ignorance or to decapitate oneself intelligence is rightly guided only after the mind is acknowledged the inescapability of spiritual law my guru mixed freely with men and women disciples treating all his children perceiving their soul equality he showed no distinction or partiality in sleep you do not know whether you are a man or a woman he said just as a man impersonated woman does not become one so the soul impersonating both man and woman has no sex the soul is the pure changeless image of god sri yuktaswar never avoided or blamed woman as objects of seduction men he said were also a temptation to women i once inquired of my guru why a great ancient saint had called women the door to hell a girl must have proved very troublesome to his peace of mind in his early life my guru answered caustically otherwise he would have denounced not woman but some imperfection his own self-control if a visitor dared to relate a suggestive story in the hermitage master would maintain an unresponsive silence do not allow yourself to be thrashed by the provoking whip of a beautiful face he told the disciples how can sense slaves enjoy the world its subtle flavor escapes them while they grovel in primal mud all nice discriminations are lost to the man of elemental lusts students seeking to escape from the dualistic maya delusion received from sri yakushwa patience and understanding council just as the purpose of eating is to satisfy hunger not greed so the sex instinct is designed for the propagation of the species according to natural law never for the kindling of insatiable longings he said destroy wrong desires now otherwise they will follow you after the astral body is torn from its physical casing even when the flesh is weak the mind should be constantly resistant if temptation assails you with cruel force overcome it by impersonal analysis and indomitable will every natural passion can be mastered conserve your powers be like the capacious ocean absorbing within all the tributary rivers of the senses small yearnings are openings in the reservoir of your inner peace permitting healing waters to be wasted in the desert soil of materialism the forceful activating impulse of wrong desire is the greatest enemy to the happiness of man roam in a world as a line of self-control see that the frogs of weakness don't kick you around the devotee is finally freed from all instinctive compulsions he transforms his need for human affection into aspiration for god alone a love solitary becomes omnipresent sri yuktiswar's mother lived in the rana mahal district of benares where i had first visited my guru gracious and kindly she was yet a woman of very decided opinions i stood on her balcony one day and watched mother and son talking together in his quiet sensible way master was trying to convince her about something he was apparently unsuccessful for she shook her head with great vigor nae nae my son go away now your wise words are not for me i am not your disciple sri yakushwar backed away without further argument like a scolded child i was touched to this great respect for his mother even in her unreasonable moods she saw him only as her little boy not as a sage there was a charm about the trifling incident it supplied a side light on my guru's unusual nature inwardly humble and outwardly unbendable the monastic regulations do not allow a swami to retain connection with worldly ties after their formal severance he cannot perform the ceremonial family ties which are obligatory on the householder yet shankara the ancient founder of the swami order disregarded the injunctions at the death of his beloved mother he cremated her body with heavenly fire which he caused to spurt from his unpraised hand sri yakushwa also ignored the restrictions in a fashion less spectacular when his mother passed on he arranged the crematory services by the holy ganges and benares and fed many brahmanas in conformance with age-old custom the shastric prohibitions were intended to help swamis overcome narrow identifications shankara and shri yukteshwar had fully merged their beings into the impersonal spirit they needed no rescue by rule sometimes too a master purposely ignores a cannon in order to uphold its principle a superior to an independent of form thus jesus plucked ears of corn on the day of rest to the inevitable critics he says the sabbath was made for man and not man for the sabbath outside of the scriptures seldom was a book honored by sri yakushwar's perusal yet he was invariably acquainted with the latest scientific discoveries and other advancements of knowledge a brilliant conversationalist he enjoyed an exchange of views on countless topics with his guests my guru's ready wit and rollicking laugh enlivened every discussion often grave master was never gloomy to seek the lord one need not disfigure his face he would remark remember that finding god will mean the funeral of all sorrows among the philosophers professors lawyers and scientists who came to the hermitage a number arrived for their first visit with the expectation of meeting an orthodox religionist a supercilious smile or a glance of amused tolerance occasionally betrayed that the newcomers anticipated nothing more than a few pious platitudes yet their reluctant departure would bring an expressed conviction that sri yakushwar had shown precise insight into their specialized field my guru ordinarily was gentle and affable to his guest his welcome was given with charming cordiality yet inveterate egoist sometimes suffered invigorating shock they confronted master either a frigid indifference or a formidable opposition ice or iron a noted chemist once crossed swords with three yogteshwar the visitor would not admit the existence of god inasmuch as science has devised no means of detecting him so you have inexplicably failed to isolate the supreme power in your test tubes masters gaze with stern i recommended an unheard of experiment examine your thoughts unremitedly for 24 hours then wonder no longer at god's absence a celebrated pundit received a similar joint with ostentatious zeal the scholar shook the ashram rafters with scriptural lore resounding passages poured from mahabharata the upanishads the biases of shankara i am waiting to hear you shri yuktishwar's tone was inquiring as though utter silence had rained the pundit was puzzled quotations there have been in super abundance masters words convulsed me with mirth as i squatted in my corner to respectful distance from the visitor but what original commentary can you supply from the uniqueness of your particular life what holy text have you absorbed and made your own in what ways have these timeless truth renovated your nature are you content to be a hollow victrola mechanically repeating the words of other men i give up the scholar chagrin was comical i have no inner realization for the first time perhaps he understood that discerning placement of the comma does not atone for a spiritual coma these bloodless pendants smell unduly of the lamp my guru remarked after the departure of the chasing one they prefer philosophy to a gentle intellectual setting up exercise their elevated thoughts are carefully unrelated either to the crudity of outward action or to the scourging inner discipline masters stressed on other occasions the futility of mere book learning do not confuse understanding with a larger vocabulary he remarked sacred writings are beneficial in stimulating desire for inward realization if one stanza at a time is slowly assimilated continual intellectual study results in vanity and the false satisfaction of an undigested knowledge sri yuktashwar relating one of his own experiences in scriptural edification the scene was a forest hermitage in eastern bengal where he observed the procedure of a renowned teacher dabru bhalav his method once simple and difficult was common in ancient india dabru bolov had gathered his disciples around him in the sylvan solitudes the holy bhagavad-gita was opened before them steadfastly they looked at one passage for half an hour then closed their eyes another half hour slipped by the master gave a brief comment motionless they meditated again for an hour finally the guru spoke have you understood yes sir when the group ventured his assertion no not fully seek the spiritual vitality that has given these words the power to rejuvenate indian century after century another hour disappeared in silence the master dismissed the students and turned to sri yakeshwar do you know the bhagavad-gita no sir not really though my eyes and mind have run through its pages many times thousands have replied to me differently the great sage smiled at master in blessing if one busies himself with an outer display of scriptural wealth what time is left for silent inward diving after the priceless jewels sri yukteswar directed the study of his own disciples by the same intensive method of one-pointedness wisdom is not assimilated with the eyes but with the atoms he said when your conviction of a truth is not merely in your brain but in your being you may definitely vouch for its meaning he discouraged any tendency a student might have to construe book knowledge as a necessary step to spiritual realization the rishis wrote in one sentence profundities that commentating scholars busy themselves over for generations he remarked endless literary controversies far sluggered minds what more liberating thought than god is nay god but man does not easily return to simplicity it is seldom god for them but rather learned pomposities his ego is pleased that he can grasp such air judicion men who were pridefully conscious of high worldly position were likely in masters present to add humility to their other possessions a local magistrate once arrived for an interview at the seaside hermitage in puri the man who held a reputation for ruthlessness had it well within his power to houses from the ashram i cautioned my guru about the despotic possibilities but he seated himself with an uncompromising heir and did not rise to greet the visitor slightly nervous i squatted near the door the man had to content himself with a wooden box my guru did not request me to fetch a chair there was no fulfillment of the magistrate's obvious expectation that his importance would be ceremoniously acknowledged a metaphysical discussion ensued the guest blundered through misinterpretation of the scriptures as his accuracy sank his eye arose do you know that i stood first in the m.a examination reason had forsaken him but he could still shout mr magistrate you forgot that this is not your courtroom master replied evenly from your childish remarks i would have surmised that your college career was unremarkable a university degree in any case is not remotely related to vedic realization saints are not produced in batches every semester like accountants after a stunned silence the visitor laughed heartedly this is my first encounter with a heavenly magistrate he said later he made a formal request couched in the legal terms which were evidently part and parcel of his being to be accepted as a probationary disciple my guru personally attended to the details connected to the management of his property unscrupulous persons on various occasions attempted to secure possession of master's ancestral land with determination and even by instigating lawsuits sri yuktas wars outwitted every opponent he underwent these painful experiences from a desire never to be a begging guru or a burden on his disciples his financial independence was one reason why my alarmingly outspoken master was innocent of the cunnings of diplomacy unlike these teachers who have to flatter their supporters my guru was impervious to the influences open or subtle of others wealth never did i hear him ask or even hint for money for any purpose his hermitage training was given free and freely to all disciples an insolent court deputy arrived one day at the cerempur ashram to serve sri yatyshwar with a legal summons a disciple named connie and myself were also present the officer's attitude toward master was offensive i will do you good to leave the shadows of your hermitage and breathe the honest heir of a courtroom the deputy grinned contemptuously i could not contain myself another word of your impudence and you will be on the floor i advance threatenly you wretched connie's shout was simultaneous of my own dare you bring blasphemies into this sacred ashram but master stood protectingly in front of his abuser don't get excited over nothing this man is only doing his rightful duty the officer dazed at his very reception respectfully offered a word of apology and sped away amazing it was to find that a master with such a fiery will could be so calm within he fitted the vedic definition of a man of god softer than the flower where kindness is concerned stronger than the thunder where principles are at stake there are always those in this world who in brownies words endure no light being themselves obscure an outsider occasionally berated sri yakushwar for an imaginary grievance my imperturbable guru listened politely analyzing himself to see if any shred of truth lie within the denunciation these scenes would bring to my mind one of masters inimitable observations some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others the unfailing composure of a saint is impressive beyond any sermon he that is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh the city i often reflected that my majestic master could easily have been an emperor or world shaking warrior had his mind been centered on fame or worldly achievement he had chosen instead to storm those inner citadels of wrath and egotism whose fall is the height of a man end of chapter chapter 13 the sleepless saint please permit me to go to the himalayas i hope and unbroken solitude to achieve continuous divine communion i actually want to address these ungrateful words to my master seized by one of the unpredictable delusions which occasionally sailed a devotee i felt a growing impatience with hermitage duties and college studies i feel extenuating circumstances is that my proposal was made when i had been only six months with sri yakushwar not yet had i fully surveyed his towering stature many hillman live in the himalayas yet possessed no god perception my guru's answer came slowly and simply wisdom is better sought from a man of realization than from an inert mountain ignoring masters plain hint that he and other hill was my teacher i repeated my plea sri yakushwar vouch safe no reply i took his silence for consent a precarious interpretation readily accepted at one's convenience in my calcutta home that evening i busied myself with travel preparations tying a few articles inside a blanket i remembered a similar bundle surreptitiously dropped from my attic window a few years earlier i wondered if there was to be another ill-starred flight toward himalayas the first time my spiritual elation had been high tonight conscience smote heavily at the thought of leaving my guru the following morning i sought out bihari pundit my sanskrit professor at scottish church college sir you have told me of your friendship with a great disciple of larimasha please give me his address you mean ram gopal muzamdar i call him the sleepless saint he is always awake in ecstatic consciousness his home is rambajapur near i thank the pundit and entrained immediately for target i hope to silence my misgivings by ringing his sanction from the sleepless saint to engage myself in lonely himalayan meditation bihari's friend i heard had received illumination after many years of kriya yoga practice in isolated caves at tarakswar i approached a famous shrine hindus regard the same veneration that catholics give to the lord's sanctuary in france innumerable healing miracles had occurred at terekswar including one for a member of my family i sat in the temple there for a week my eldest aunt once told me observing a complete fast i prayed for the recovery of your uncle serrata from a chronic melody on the seventh day i found a herb materialized in my hand i made a brew from the leaves and gave it to your uncle his disease vanished at once and has never reappeared i entered the sacred terex white shrine the altar contains nothing but a round stone its circumference beginningless and endless makes it aptly significant of the infinite cosmic abstractions are not alien even to the humblest indian peasant he has been accused by westerners in fact of living on abstractions my own mood at the moment was so austere that i felt disinclined to bow before the stone symbol god should be sodor reflected only within the soul i left the temple without genuflection and walked briskly toward the outlying village of ramatur my appeal to a passerby for guidance caused him to sink into long cogitation when you come to a crossroad turn right and keep going he finally pronounced oracle obeying the directions i vented my way alongside the banks of a canal darkness fell the outskirts of the jungle village were alive with winking fireflies in the howls of nearby jackals the moonlight was too faint to supply any reassurance i stumbled on for two hours welcome clang of the cowbell my repeated shouts eventually brought a peasant to my side i am looking for ram gopul babu no such person lives in our village the man's tone was surly you are probably a lion detective hoping to lay suspicions to his politically troubled mind i touchingly explain my predicament he took me to his house and offered a hospital welcome rabbi japore is far from here you mark at the crossroad you should have turned left not right my early informant i thought sadly was a distinct menace to travelers after a relishable meal of course rice lentil doll and curry of potatoes with raw bananas i retired to a small hut adjoining the courtroom in the distance villagers were singing to loud accompaniment and wear dongos and symbols sleep was inconsiderable at night i prayed deeply to be directed to the secret yogi ram gopal as the first streaks of dawn penetrated the fissures of my dark room i set out for robin poor crossing rough paddy fields i trudged over sickled stumps of the prickly plant and mounds of dried clay an occasionally met peasant would have formed me invariably that my destination was only a crochet two miles in six hours the sun traveled victoriously from horizon to meridian but i began to feel that i would ever be distant from rajapur by one crochet at mid-afternoon my world was still an endless paddy field heat pouring from the voidless sky was bringing me to near collapse as a man approached at leisurely pace i hardly dared uttered my usual question lest it summon the monotonous just a crochet the stranger halted beside me short and slight he was physically unimpressive safe for an extraordinary pair of piercing dark eyes i was planning to leave for rabbit poor but your purpose was good so i awaited you he shook his finger in my astounded face aren't you clever to think that unannounced you could pounce on me that professor bahari had no right to give you my address considering that introduction to myself would be mere verbosity in the presence of this master i stood speechless somewhat hurt at my reception his next remark was abruptly put tell me where do you think god is why he is within me and everywhere i doubtless looked as bewildered as i felt all pervading huh the saint chuckled then why young sir did you fail to bow before the infinite in the stone's symbol at the target temple yesterday your pride caused you the punishment of being misdirected by the passerby who was not bothered by fine distinctions of left or right today too you've had a fairly uncomfortable time of it i agreed wholeheartedly wonder struck that an omniscient eye hid within me the unremarkable body before me healing strength emanated from the yogi i was instantly refreshed in the scorching field the devotee inclines to think his path to god is the only way he said yoga through which divinity is found within is doubtless the highest road so larry moshe was told us but discovering the lord within we soon perceive him without holy shrines at targenscore and elsewhere are rightly venerated as nuclear centers of spiritual power the saints centurious attitude vanished his eyes became compassionately soft he patted my shoulder young yogi i see you are running away from your master he has everything you need you must return to him mountains cannot be your guru ram gopal was repeating the same thought which shri yuktashwar had expressed at our last meeting masters are under no cosmic compulsion to limit their residence my companion glanced at me quizzically the himalayas in indian tibet have no monopoly on saints what one does not trouble to find within will not be discovered by transporting the bother hidden in there as soon as the devotee is willing to go even to the ends of the earth for spiritual enlightenment his guru appears nearby i silently agreed recalling my prayer in the benares hermitage followed by the meeting with sri yakushwar in a crowded lane are you able to have a little room where you can close the door and be alone yes i reflected that the saint descended from the general to the particular with disconcerting speed that is your cave the yogi bestowed on me a gaze of illumination which i have never forgotten that is your sacred mountain that is where you will find the kingdom of god his simple words instantaneously banished my lifelong obsession with the himalayas in a burning paddy field i awoke from the monticulous dreams of eternal snows young sir your divine thirst is laudable i feel great love for you rom gopal took my hand and led me to a quaint hamlet the adobe houses were covered with coconut leaves and adorned with rustic entrances the saint seated me on the umbrageous bamboo platform of a small cottage after giving me sweetened lime juice and a piece of raw candy he entered his patio and assumed the lotus position in about four hours i opened my meditative eyes and saw that the moonlit figure of the yogi was still motionless as i was sternly reminding my stomach that man does not leave my bread alone ram gopal approached me i see you are famished food will be ready soon a fire was kindled under a clay oven on a patio rice and dal were quickly served on large banana leaves my host courtesy refused my aid in all cooking chores the guest is god a hindu proverb has commanded devout observances from time immemorial in my later world travels i was charmed to see that a similar respect for visitors is manifested in rural sections of many countries the city dweller finds the keen edge of hospitality blunted by super abundance of strange faces the march of men seemed remotely dim as i squatted by the yogi in the isolation of the teen jungle village the cottage room was mysterious with a mellow light rahm gopal arranged some torn blankets on the floor from my bed and seated himself on a straw mat overwhelmed by his spiritual magnetism i ventured a request sir why don't you grant me a samadhi dear one i would be glad to convey the divine contact but it is not my place to do so the saint looked at me with half closed eyes your master will bestow the experience shortly your body is not tuned just yet as a small lamp cannot withstand excessive electrical voltage so your nerves are unready for the cosmic current if i gave you the infinite ecstasy right now you would burn as if every cell were on fire you are asking illumination from me the yogi continued musically while i am wondering inconsiderable as i am and with the little meditation i have done if i have succeeded in pleasing god and what worth i may find in his eyes at the final reckoning sir have you not been single-heartedly seeking god for a long time i have not done much bihari must have told you something of my life for 20 years i occupied a secret grotto meditating 18 hours a day then i moved to a more inaccessible cave and remained there for 25 years entering the yoga union for 20 hours daily i did not sleep before i was ever with god my body was more rested in the complete calmness of the super conscious than it could be by the partial piece of the ordinary subconscious state the muscles relax during sleep but the heart lungs and circulatory system are constantly at work they get no rest in super consciousness the internal organs remain in the state of suspended animation electrified by the cosmic energy by such means i have found it unnecessary to sleep for years the time will come when you too will dispense with sleep my goodness you have meditated for so long and yet are unsure of lord's favor i gazed at him in astonishment then what about his poor mortals well don't you see my dear boy that god is eternity itself to assume that one can fully know him by 45 years of meditation is rather a preposterous expectation babaji assures us however that even a little meditation saves one from the dire fear of death and after death states do not fix your spiritual idea on a small mountain but hit you to the star of unqualified divine attainment if you work hard you will get there enthralled by the prospect i asked him for further enlightenment words he related to wonder a story of his first meeting with larry mash's guru babaji around midnight gom gopal fell into silence and i lay down on my blanket closing my eyes i saw flashes of lightning the vast space within me was a chamber of molten light i opened my eyes and observed the same dazzling radiance the room became a part of that infinite vault which i beheld that interior vision why don't you go to sleep sir how can i sleep in the presence of lightning blazing whether my eyes are shutter open you are blessed to have this experience the spiritual radiations are not easily seen the saint added a few words of affection at dawn rom gopal gave me rock candies and said i must depart i felt such reluctance to bid him farewell that tears course down my cheeks i will not let you go empty-handed the yogi spoke tenderly i will do something for you he smiled and looked at me steadfastly i stood rooted to the ground peace rushing like a mighty flood through the gates of my eyes i was instantaneously healed of a pain in my back which had troubled me intermittently for years renewed bathed in a sea of luminous joy i wept no more after touching the saints feet i sauntered into the jungle making my way through its tropical tangle until i reached takaswar there i made a second pilgrimage to the famous shrine and prostrated myself fully before the altar the round stone enlarged before my inner vision and it became the cosmical spheres ring within ring zone after zone all dowered with divinity i entrained happily an hour later for kakada my travels ended not in the lofty mountains but in the himalayan presence of my master end of chapter chapter 14 an experience in cosmic consciousness i am here guruji my shamefacedness spoke more eloquently for me let us go to the kitchen and find something to eat shri yuktoshwar's manner was as natural as if ours and not days had separated us master i must have disappointed you by my abrupt departure from my duties here i thought you might be angry with me no of course not wrath springs only from thwarted desires i do not expect anything from others so their actions cannot be in opposition to wishes of mine i would not use you for my own ends i am happy only in your own true happiness sir one hears of divine love in a vague way but for the first time i have a concrete example in your angelic self in the world even a father does not easily forgive a son if he leaves his parents business without warning but you show not the slightest vexation though you must have been put to great inconvenience by the many unfinished tasks i left behind we looked into each other's eyes where tears were shining a blissful wave engulfed me i was conscious of the lord in the form of my guru was expanding the small arters of my heart into the incomprehensible reaches of cosmic love a few mornings later i made my way to masters empty sitting room i planned to meditate but my laudable purpose was unshared by disobedient thoughts they scattered like birds before the hunter mukunda sri yakushwar's voice sounded from a distant inner balcony i felt as rebellious as my thoughts master always urges me to meditate i mutter to myself he should not disturb me when he knows i came to this room he summoned me again i remained absolutely silent the third time his tone held rebuke sir i am meditating i shatter protestingly i know how you are meditating my guru called out with your mind distracted like leaves in a storm come here to me snubbed and exposed i made my way sadly to a side poor boy the mountains couldn't give you what you wanted master spoke carelessly comfortingly his calm gaze was unfathomable your heart's desire shall be fulfilled shri yukteshwar seldom indulged in riddles i was bewildered he struck gently on my chest above the heart my body became immovably rooted a breath was drawn out of my lungs if by some huge magnet soul and mine instantly lost their physical bondage and streamed out like a fluid piercing light from my every poor the flesh was though dead yet in my immense awareness i knew that never before had i been so fully alive my sense of identity was no longer narrowly confined to a body but embraced the circumambient atoms people on distant streets seemed to be moving gently over my own remote periphery the roots of plants and trees appeared through a dim transparency of the soil i discerned the inward flow of their sap the whole vicinity laid bare before me my ordinary frontal vision was now changed to a vast spherical site simultaneously all perceptive through the back of my head i saw men strolling far down rye got road and noticed also a white cow who was leisurely approaching when she reached the space in front of the open ashram gate i observed her with two physical eyes as she passed by behind the brick wall i saw her clearly still all objects within my paranormic gaze trembled and vibrated like quick motion pictures my body masters the pillared shirt the furniture in the floor the trees and sunshine occasionally became violently agitated until all melted into the luminescent sea even as sugar crystals thrown into a glass of water dissolve after being shaken the unifying light alternated with materialization of form the metamorphosis revealing the law of cause and effect and creation an oceanic joy broke upon calm endless shores of my soul the spirit of god i realized is inexhaustible bliss his body is countless tissues of light a swelling glory within me began to envelop towns continents the earth solar and stellar systems tenuous nebula and floating universe the entire cosmos gently luminous like a city seen afar at night glimmered within the infinitude of my being the sharply etched global outlines faded somewhat at the farthest edge there i could see a mellow radiance ever diminished it was indescribably subtle the planetary pictures were formed at the grosser light the divine dispersion of rays poured from an eternal source blazing into galaxies transfigured with ineffable auras again and again i saw the creative beams condense into constellations then resolve into sheets of transparent flame but mythic perversions sextilation words passed into diaphanous luster fire became firmament i cognized the center of my ephraim as a point of intuitive perception in my heart irradiating splendor issued for my nucleus to every part of the universal structure blissful amrita the nectar of immortality pulsed through me with quick silver-like fluidity the creative voice of god i heard resounding his own the vibration of the cosmic motor suddenly the breath returned to my lungs with a disappointment almost unbearable i realized that my infinite immensity was lost once more i was limited to the humiliating cage of a body not easily accommodative to the spirit like a prodigal child i had run away from my macro cosmic home and imprison myself in a narrow microcosm my guru was standing motionless before me i started to drop at his holy feet in gratitude for the experience in cosmic consciousness which i had so long passionately sought he held me upright and spoke calmly unpretentiously you must not get overdrunk with ecstasy much work yet remains for you in the world come let us sweep the balcony floor then we shall walk by the ganges i fetched a broom master i knew was teaching me the secret of balanced living the soul must stretch over the cosmog as best while the body performs its daily duties when we set out later for a stroll i was still entranced in the unspeakable rapture i saw our bodies as two astral pictures moving over a road by the river whose essence was sheer light it is the spirit of god that actively sustains every form and force in the universe yet he is transcendental and aloof in the blissful uncreated void beyond the worlds of vibratory phenomena saints who realize their divinity even while in the flesh know a similar two-fold existence conscientiously engaging in earthly work they yet remain immersed in an inward beatitude the lord has created all men from the limitless joy of his being though they are painfully cramped by the body god nevertheless expects that souls made in his image shall ultimately rise above all sense identification and reunite with him the cosmic vision left many permanent lessons but daily still in my thought i could win release from the elusive conviction that my body was a mass of flesh and bones traversing the hard soil of matter the breath and the restless mind i saw were like storms which last the ocean of light into waves of material forms earth sky human beings animals birds and trees no perception of the infinite as one light could be had except by calming those storms as often as i silenced the two natural tumults i beheld the multitudinous waves of creation melt into one loosened sea even as the waves of the ocean their tempest subsiding serenely dissolve into unity a master bestows the divine experience of cosmic consciousness when his disciple by meditation has strengthened his mind to agree where the vast vistas would not overwhelm him the experience can never be given through one's mere intellectual willingness or open-mindedness only adequate enlargement by yoga practices and devotional bhakti can prepare the mind to absorb the liberating shock of omnipresence it comes with a natural inevitability to the sincere devotee his intense craving begins to pull at god with an irresistible force the lord is the cosmic vision as drawn by the seeker's magnetic arter into his range of consciousness i wrote in my later years the following poem samadhi endeavoring to convey the glory of its cosmic state vanished the veils of light and shade lifted every vapor of sorrow sailed away all dawns of fleeting joy gone the dim sensory mirage love hate health disease life death perished these false shadows on the screen of duality waves of laughter sillas of sarcasm melancholic whirlpools melting in the vast sea of bliss the storm of maya still by magic wand of intuition deep the universe forgotten dream subconsciously lurks ready to invade my newly awakened memory divine i live without the cosmic shadow but it is not beruffed of me as a sea exists without the waves but they breathe not without the sea dreams wakings states of deep to reasleep present past future no more for me but ever present all flowing i i everywhere planets stars stardust earth volcanic bursts of doomday cataclysms creation molding furnace glaciers of silent x-rays burning electron floods thought of all men past present to come every blade of grass myself mankind each particle of universal dust anger greed good bad salvation lust i swallowed transmuted all into a vast ocean of blood of my own one being smoldering joy oft puffed by meditation blinding my tearful eyes burst into immortal flames of bliss consumed my tears my frame my all thou art i i am thou knowing knower known as one tranquiled unbroken thrill eternally living ever new peace enjoyable beyond imagination of expectancy samadhi bliss not an unconscious state or mental chloroform without willful return samadhi but extends my conscious realm beyond limits of the mortal frame to farthest boundary of eternity where i the cosmic sea watch the little ego floating in me the sparrow each grain of sand fall not without my sight all space floats like an iceberg in my mental sea colossal container i of all things made by deeper longer thirsty guru given meditation comes this celestial samadhi mobile murmurs of atoms are heard the dark earth mountains veils low molten liquid flowing seas change into vapors of nebula ohm blows upon vapors opening wondrously their veils oceans stand revealed shining electrons till at last sound of the cosmic drum vanish the grosser lights into eternal rays of all pervading bliss from joy i came for joy i live in sacred joy i melt ocean of mind i drink all creations wave four veils of solid liquid vapor light lift a right myself and everything enters the great myself gone forever fitful flickering shadows of mortal memory spotless is my mental sky below ahead and high above eternity and i one united ray a tiny bubble of laughter i am become the sea of mirth itself sri yakdeshwar taught me how to summon the blessed experience it will and also how to transmit it to others if their intuitive channels were developed for months i entered the ecstatic union comprehending why the upanishads say god is rasa the most relishable one day however i took a problem to master i want to know sir when shall i find god you have found him oh no sir i think not my guru is smiling i am sure you aren't expecting a venerable personage adorning the throne in some antiseptic corner of the cosmos i see however that you are imagining that the possession of miraculous powers is knowledge of god one might have the whole universe and find the lord elusive still spiritual advancement is not measured by one's outward powers but only by the depths of his bliss and meditation ever new joy is god he is inexhaustible as you continue your meditation during the years he will beguile you with an infinite ingenuity devotees like yourself who have found the way to god never dream of exchanging him for any other happiness he is seductive beyond thought of competition how quickly we weary of earthly pleasures desire for material things is endless man is never satisfied completely and pursues one goal after another that something else he seeks is the lord who alone can grant lasting joy outward longing drives us from eden within they offer false pleasures with only impersonate soul happiness the lost paradise is quickly regained through divine meditation as god is unanticipatory ever newness we never tire of him can we be surfied with bliss delightfully varied through eternity i understand now sir why saints call the lord unfathomable even everlasting life could not suffice to appraise him that is true but he is also near and dear after the mind has been cleared by kriya yoga of sensory obstacles meditation furnishes a twofold proof of god every new joy is evidence of his existence convincing to our very atoms also in meditation one finds his instant guidance his adequate response to every difficulty i see guruji you have solved my problem i smiled gratefully i do realize now that i have found god for whenever the joy of meditation is returned subconsciously during my active hours i have been subtly directed to adopt the right course in everything even details human life is beset with sorrow until we know how to tune in with the divine will whose right course is often baffling to the egoistic intelligence god bears the burden of the cosmos he alone can give on aaron counsel end of chapter chapter 15 the cauliflower robbery master a gift for you these six huge cauliflowers were planted with my hands i have watched over their growth with the tender care of a mother nursing her child i presented the basket of vegetables with a ceremonial flourish thank you sri yuktoshwar's smile was warm with appreciation please keep them in your room i shall need them tomorrow for a special dinner i just arrived in puri to spend my college summer vacation with my guru at a seaside hermitage built by master and his disciples the cheerful little two-story retreat fronts on the bay of bengal i work early the following morning refreshed by the salty sea breezes and the charm of my surroundings sri yaktishwar's melodious voice was calling i took a look at my cherished cauliflowers and stowed them neatly under my bed come let us go to the beach master led the way several young disciples and myself followed in a scattered group our guru surveyed us in mild criticism when our western brothers walk they usually take pride in unison now please march in two rows keep rhythmic step with one another sri yukteswar watched as we obeyed he began to sing boys go to and fro in a pretty little row i could not but admire the ease by which master was able to match the burst pace of his young students halt my guru's eyes sought mine did you remember to lock the back door of the hermitage a steady stream of visitors poured from the world into the hermitage tranquility a number of learned men came with the expectation of meeting an orthodox religionist a supercilious smile or a glance of amused tolerance occasionally betrayed that the newcomers anticipating nothing more than a few pious platitudes yet their reluctant departure would bring an express conviction that shri yukteshwar had shown precise insight into their specialized fields of knowledge my guru always had young resident disciples in his heritage he directed their minds and lies without careful discipline in which the word disciple is etymologically rooted i think so sir sri yakushwar was silent for a few minutes a half suppressed smile on his lips no you forgot he said finally divine contemplation must not be made an excuse for material carelessness you have neglected your duty and safeguarding the ashram you must be punished i thought he was obscurely joking when he added your six cauliflowers will soon be only five we turned around at masters orders and marched back until we were close to the hermitage rest a while mukunda look across the compound on our left observe the road beyond a certain man will arrive there presently he will be the means of your chastisement i concealed my vexation at his incomprehensible remarks a peasant soon appeared at the road he was dancing grotesquely and flinging his arms about with meaningless gestures almost paralyzed with curiosity i glued my eyes on the hilarious spectacle as the man reached a point in the road where he would vanish from our view sri yukteswar said now he will return the peasant once changed his direction and made for the rear of the ashram crossing a sandy track he entered the building by the back door i had left it unlocked even as my guru had said the man emerged shortly holding one of my prized cauliflowers he now strode along respectfully invested with the dignity of possession the unfolding farce in which my role appeared to be that one of a bewildered victim was not so disconcerting that i failed an indignant pursuit i was halfway to the road when master recalled me he was shaking from head to foot with laughter the poor crazy man has been longing for a cauliflower he explained between outburst and mirth i thought it would be a good idea if he got one of yours so ill-guarded i dashed to my room where i found that the thief evidently one with a vegetable fixation had left untouched my golden rings watch and money all lined openly on the blanket he had crawled instead under the bed where completely hidden from casual sight one of my cauliflowers had a rise to his single-hearted desire i asked sri yakushwar that evening to explain the incident which had i thought a few baffling features my guru shook his head slowly you will understand it someday science will soon discover a few of these hidden laws when the wonders of radio burst some years later on the astounded world i remembered masters prediction age-old concepts of time and space were annihilated no peasants home so narrow that london or calcutta could not enter the dullest intelligence enlarged before indisputable proof of one aspect of man's omnipresence the plot of the cauliflower comedy can be best understood by a radio analogy shri yukteshwar was a perfect human radio thoughts are no more than very gentle vibrations moving in the ether just as a sensitized radio picks up a desired musical number out of a thousand of other programs from every direction so my guru had been able to catch the thought of the half-witted man who hankered for a cauliflower out of the countless thoughts of broadcasting human wills in the world by his powerful will master was also a human broadcasting station and had successfully directed the peasant to reverse his steps and go to a certain room for a single cauliflower intuition is soul guidance appearing naturally in man during these instants when his mind is calm nearly everyone has had the experience of an inexplicably correct hunch or has transferred his thoughts effectively to another person the human mind free from the static of restlessness can perform through its antenna of intuition all the functions of complicated radio mechanisms sending and receiving thoughts and tuning out undesirable ones as the power of a radio depends on the amount of electrical current to utilize so the human radio is energized according to the power of will possessed by each individual all thoughts vibrate eternally in the cosmos by deep concentration a master is able to detect the thoughts of any mind living or dead thoughts are universally and not individually rooted a truth cannot be created but only perceived the erroneous thoughts of man result from imperfections in his discernment the goal of yoga science is to calm the mind that without distortion it may mirror the divine vision in the universe radio and televisions have brought the instantaneous sound and sight of remote persons to the firesides of millions the first faint scientific intimations that man is an all-pervading spirit not a body confined to a point in space but the vast soul which the ego and most barbaric modes conspires in vain to cramp very strange very wonderful seemingly very improbable phenomena may yet appear which once established will not astonish us more than we now astonished at all that science has taught us during the last century charles robert ricky nobel prize men and physiology has declared it is assumed that the phenomena which we now accept without surprise do not excite our astonishment because they are understood but this is not the case if they do not surprise us it is not because they understood it is because they are familiar for if that which is not understood ought to surprise us we should be surprised at everything the fall of a stone thrown in the air the acorn which becomes an oak mercury which expands when it is heated iron attracted by a magnet phosphorus which it burns when it is rubbed the science of today is a light matter the revolution in evolution which you will experience in a hundred thousand years will far exceed the most daring anticipation the truth those surprising amazing unforeseen truth what your descendants will discover are even now all around us starring us in the eyes so to speak and yet we do not see them but it is not enough to say that we do not see them we do not wish to see them for as soon as an unexpected and unfamiliar fact appears we try to fit it into the framework of the commonplace of acquired knowledge and we are indignant that anyone should dare to experiment further a humorous occurrence took place a few days after i had been so implausibly robbed of my cauliflower a certain kerosene lamp could not be found having so lately witnessed my guru's omniscient insight i thought he would demonstrate that it was child's play to locate the lamp master perceived my expectation with exaggerated gravity he questioned all ashram residents a young disciple confessed that he'd use the lamp to go to the well in the backyard sri ukteshwar gave the solemn council seek the lamp near the well i rushed there no lamp crestfall and i returned to my guru he was now laughing heartily without compunction from my disillusionment too bad i couldn't direct you to the vanish lamp i am not a fortune teller with twinkling eyes he added i am not even a satisfactory sherlock holmes i realized that master would never display his powers when challenged or for triviality delightful weeks sped by sri yakushwa was planning a religious possession he asked me to lead the disciples over the town on a beach of pewdie the festive day dawned as one of the hottest of the summer guruji how can i take the barefooted students over the fiery sands i spoke to sparingly i will tell you a secret master responded the lord will send an umbrella of clouds you all shall walk in comfort i happily organized the procession our group started from the ashram with a sat sangha banner designed by sri yakdeshwar it bore the symbol of the single eye the telescopic gaze of intuition no sooner had we left the hermitage than the part of the sky which was overhead became filled with clouds though by magic to the accompaniment of astonished ejaculations from all sides a very light shower fell cooling the city streets in the burning seashore the soothing drops descended during the two hours of the parade the exact instant at which our group returned to the ashram the clouds and rain passed away tracelessly you see how god feels for us master replied after i had expressed my gratitude the lord responds to all and works for all just as he sent rain at my plea so he fulfills any sincere desire of the devotee seldom do men realize how often god heals their prayers he is not partial to a few but listen to everyone who approaches him trustfully his children should ever have implicit faith in the lovingkindness of their omnipresent father sri yaktuswa sponsored four yearly festivals at the equinoxes and the solstices when his students gathered from afar near the winter solstice celebration was held in surampur the first one i attended left me with a permanent blessing the festivities started in the morning with a barefoot procession along the streets the voice of a hundred students rang out with sweet religious songs a few musicians played the flute and coal cartel enthusiastic townspeople strewed the path with flowers glad to be summoned from prosaic tasks by a resounding praise of the lord's blessed name the long tour ended in the courtyard of the hermitage there were encircled our guru while students of upper balconies showered as marigold blossoms many guests went upstairs to receive a pudding of chana and oranges i made my way to a group of brother disciples who were serving today as cooks food for such large gathering had to be cooked outdoors and huge cauldrons the improvised wood-burning brick stalls were smoky and tear-provoking but we laughed merely at our work religious festivals in india are never considered troublesome each one does his part supplying money rice vegetables or his personal services master was soon in our midst supervising the details of the feast busy every moment he kept pace with the most energetic young student a san curtain accompanied by the harmonian and hand playing indian drums was in the process on the second floor sri yakushwa listened appreciatively his musical sense was acutely perfect they're off key master left the cooks and joined the artist the melody was heard again this time correctly rendered in india music as well as painting and the drama is considered a divine art brahma vishnu and shiva the eternal trinity were the first musicians the divine dancer shiva is scripturally represented as having worked out the infinite modes of rhythm in his cosmic dance of universal creation preservation and disillusion while brahma accentuated the time beat with the clanging symbols and vishnu sounded the holy madanga or drum krishna an incarnation of vishnu is always shown in hindu art with a flute on which he plays the enrapturing song that recalls to their true home the human souls wandering in the maya delusion saraswati goddess of wisdom is symbolized as performing on the vinna mother of all stringed instruments the sama veda of india contains the world's earliest writings on musical science the foundation stone of hindu music is the ragas or fixed melodic scales the six basic ragas branch out into 126 derivative rajina's wives and putra suns each raga has a minimum of five notes a leading note vadi or king a secondary note samavadi or prime minister helping notes anuvati attendance and a dissonant note vivadi the enemy each one of the six basic ragas has a natural correspondence with a certain hour of the day season of the year and a presiding deity who bestows a particular potency thus the hindu raga is heard only at dawn in the spring to evoke the mood of universal love deepakaraga is played during the evening and summer to arouse compassion mega raga is a melody for midday in the rainy season to summon courage bhairavaraga is played in the mornings of august september october to achieve tranquility sriraga is reserved for autumn twilights to attain pure love mulkunsaraga is heard at midnight in winter for valor the ancient rishis discovered these laws of sound alliance between nature and man because nature is an objectification of om the primal sound or vibratory word man can obtain control over all natural manifestations through the use of certain mantras or chants historical documents tell all the remarkable powers possessed by mayam tan sen 16th century court musician for akbar the great commanded by the emperor to sing a night raga while the sun was overhead tonsen in toned a mantra which instantly caused the whole palace precincts to become enveloped in darkness india music divides the octave into 22 shrutis or demi semitones these micro tonal intervals permit five shades of musical expression unattainable by the western chromatic scale of twelve semitones each one of the seven basic notes of the octave is associated in hindu mythology with a color and the natural cry of a bird or beast dough with green the peacock rey with red and the skylark me with golden and the goat fowl with yellowish white and the heron soul with black and the nightingale law with yellow and the horse see with a combination of all colors in an elephant three scales major harmonic minor melodic minor are the only ones which occidental music employs but indian music outlines 72 thotas or scales the musician has a creative scope for endless improvisation around the fixed traditional melody or raga he concentrates on the sentiment or definitive mode of the structural theme and then embroiders it to the limits of its own originality the hindu musician does not read said notes he clothes anew at each plane the bare skeleton of the raga often confining himself to a single melodic sequence stressing by repetition all of its subtle micro tonal and rhythmic variations bach among western composers had an understanding of the charm and power of repetition sounds slightly differentiated in a hundred complex ways ancient sanskrit literature describes 120 dollars or time measures the traditional founder of hindu music bharata is said to have isolated 32 kinds of tala in a song of a lark the origin of tala or rhythm is rooted in human movements the double time of walking and the triple time of respiration and sleep when inhalation is twice the length of exhalation india has always recognized the human voice as the most perfect instrument of sound hindu music therefore largely confines itself to the voice range of three octaves for the same reason melody relation of successive notes is stressed rather than harmony relation of simultaneous notes the deeper aim of the early rishi musicians was to blend the singer with a cosmic song which can be heard through awakening of man's occult spinal centers indian music is a subjective spiritual and individualistic art aiming not ants sympathetic brilliance but at personal harmony with the oversoul the sanskrit word for musician is bhagavathar he who sings the praises of god the sand curtains or musical gatherings are an effective form of yoga or spiritual discipline deep concentration intense absorption in the seed thought and sound because man himself is an expression of the creative word sound has the most potent and immediate effect on him offering a way to remembrance of his divine origin the sun curtain issuing from sri yukteshwar second story sitting room on the day of the festival was inspiring to the cooks amidst the steaming pots my brother disciples and i joyously sang the refrains beating time with our hands by sunset we had served our hundreds of visitors with cultural rice and lentils vegetable curry and rice pudding we laid cotton blankets over the courtyard soon the assemblage was squatting under the starry vault quietly attentive to the wisdom pouring from sri yukteshwar's lips his public speeches emphasized the value of kriya yoga and a life of self-respect calmness determination simple diet and regular exercise a group of very young disciples then chanted a few sacred hymns the meeting concluded with san curtain from 10 o'clock until midnight the ashram residents washed pots and pans and cleared the courtyard my guru called me to aside i am pleased over your cheerful labors today and during the past week of preparations i want you with me you may sleep in my bed tonight this was a privilege i had never thought would fall to my lot we sat a while in a state of intense divine tranquility hardly 10 minutes after we had gotten to bed master rose and began to dress what is the matter sir i felt a tinge of unreality and the unexpected joy of sleeping beside my guru i think that a few students who miss their proper train connections will be here soon let us have some food ready guru jay no one would come at one o'clock in the morning stay in bed you've been working very hard but i'm going to cook at sri yukteshwar's resolute tone i jumped up and followed him to the small daily used kitchen adjacent to the second floor in her balcony rice and dot were soon boiling my gurus smiled affectionately tonight you have conquered fatigue and fear of hard work you shall never be bothered by them in the future as he uttered these words of lifelong blessing footsteps center in the courtyard i ran downstairs and admitted a group of students dear brother how reluctant we are to disturb master at this hour one man addressed me apologetically we made a mistake about train schedules but felt we could not return home without a glimpse of our guru he has been expecting you as even now preparing your food shri yuktoswar's welcoming voice rang out i led the astonished visitors to the kitchen master turned to me with twinkling eyes now that you have finished comparing notes no doubt you are satisfied that our guest really did miss the train i followed him to his bedroom a half hour later realizing fully that i was about to sleep beside a godlike guru end of chapter chapter 16 outwitting the stars mukunda why don't you get an astrological armlet should i master i don't believe in astrology it is never a question of belief the only scientific attitude one can take on any subject is whether it is true the law of gravitation worked as efficiently before newton as after him the cosmos would be fairly chaotic if its laws could not operate without the sanction of human belief charlatans have brought the stellar science to its present state of disrepute astrology is too vast both mathematically and philosophically to be rightly grasped except by men of profound understanding if ignoramus has misread the heavens and see they're a scroll instead of a script that is to be expected in this imperfect world one should not dismiss the wisdom with the wise all parts of creation are linked together and interchange their influences the balanced rhythm of the universe is rooted in reciprocity my guru continued man in his human aspect has to combat two sets of forces first the tumult within his being caused by the admixture of earth water fire air and ethereal elements second the outer disintegrating powers of nature so long as man struggles with his mortality he is affected by the myriad mutations of heaven and earth astrology is a study of man's response to planetary stimuli the stars have no conscious benevolence or animosity they merely send forth positive and negative radiation of themselves these do not help or harm humanity but offer a lawful channel for the outward operation of cause effect equilibrium which each man has set into motion in the past a child is born on that day and at that hour when the celestial rays are in mathematical harmony with his individual karma his horoscope is a challenging portrait revealing his unalterable past and its probable future results but the natal chart can be rightly interpreted only by a man of intuitive wisdom these are few the message boldly blazing across the heavens at the moment of birth is not meant to emphasize faith the result of past good and evil but to arouse man's will to escape from his universal thraldom what he has done he can undo none other than himself was the instigator of the causes of whatever effects and how prevalent in his life he can overcome any limitations because he created it by his own actions in the first place and because he has spiritual resources which are not subject to planetary pressure superstitious of astrology makes one an automaton slavishly dependent on mechanical guidance the wise man defeats his planet which is to say his past by transferring his allegiance from the creation to the creator the more he realizes his unity with spirit the less he can be dominated by matter the soul is ever free it is deathless because birthless it cannot be regimented by stars man is a soul and has a body when he properly places his sense of identity he leaves behind all compulsive patterns so long as he remains confused in his ordinary state of spiritual amnesia he will know the subtle fetters of environmental law a god is harmony the devotee who attunes himself will never perform any action amiss his activities will be correctly and naturally timed to accord with astrological law after deep prayer and meditation he is in touch with his divine consciousness there is no greater power than that inward protection then dear master why do you want me to wear an astrological bangle i ventured this question after a long silence during which i tried to assimilate sri yakutor's noble exposition it is only when a traveler has reached his goal that he is justified in discarding his maps during the journey he takes advantage of any convenient shortcut the ancient rishis discovered many ways to curtail a period of man's exile and illusion there are certain mechanical features in law of karma which can be skillfully adjusted by the finger of wisdom all human eels arise from some transgression of universal law the scriptures point out that man must satisfy the laws of nature while not discrediting the divine omnipotence he should say lord i trust in thee and know thou canst help me but i too will do my best to undo any wrong i have done by a number of means by prayer by willpower by yoga meditation by confrontation with saints by use of astrological bangles the adverse effects of past wrongs can be minimized or nullified just as a house can be fitted with a copper rod to absorb the shock of lightning so the bodily temple can be benefited by various protective measures ages ago our yogis discovered that pure metals emit an astral light which is powerfully counteractive to negative poles on the planet subtle electrical and magnetic radiations are constantly circulating in the universe when a man's body is being aided he does not know it when it is being disintegrated he is still in ignorance can he do anything about it this problem received attention from our rishis they found helpful not only a combination of metals but also of plants and most effective of all faultless jewels of not less than two carrots the preventative use of astrology have seldom been seriously studied outside of india one little known fact is that the proper jewels metal or plant preparations are valueless unless the required weight is secured and unless these remedial agents are worn next to the skin sir of course i shall take your advice and get a bangle i am intrigued at the thought of outwitting a planet for general purposes i counsel the use of an armlet made of gold silver and copper but for a specific purpose i want you to get one of silver and lead sri yattashwar added careful directions guruji what specific purpose do you mean the stars are about to take an unfriendly interest in you wakanda fear not you shall be protected in about a month your liver will cause you much trouble the illness is scheduled to last for six months but your use of an astrological armlet will shorten the period to 24 days i sought out a jeweler the next day and was soon wearing the bangle my health was excellent master's prediction slipped my mind he left saranpor to visit benares 30 days after our conversation i felt a sudden pain in the region of my liver the following weeks were a nightmare of excruciating pain reluctant to disturb my guru i thought i would bravely endure my trial alone but 23 days of torture a week in my resolution i entrained for banaras there sri yakushwa greeted me with the unusual warmth but gave me no opportunity to tell him i was in private many devotees visited master that day just for their darshan ill and neglected i sat in the corner it was not until after the evening meal that all guests had departed my guru summoned me to the octagonal balcony on the house you must have come about your liver disorder sri yuktor gays was inverted he walked to and fro occasionally intercepting the moonlight let me see you have been ailing for 24 days haven't you yes sir please do the stomach exercises i have taught you if you knew the extent of my suffering master you would not ask me to exercise nevertheless i made a feeble attempt to obey him you say you have pain i say you have none how can such contradictions exist my guru looked at me enquirely i was dazed and overcome with joyful relief no longer could i feel a continuous torment that had kept me nearly sleepless for weeks and shri yuktiswar's words the agony vanished as though it had never been i started to kneel at his feet as in gratitude but he quickly prevented me don't be childish and get up and enjoy the beauty of the moon over the ganges but master's eyes were twinking happily as i stood in sound beside him i understood by his attitude that he wanted me to feel that not he but god had been the healer i wear even now the heavy silver and lead bangle a memento of that day-long past ever cherished when i found anew that i was living with a personage indeed superhuman on later occasions when i brought my friends to srishwa for healing he invariably recommended jewels or the bengal extolling their use as an act of astrological wisdom i had been prejudiced against astrology from my childhood partly because i observed that many people are sequatiously attached to it and partly because of prediction made by a family astrologer you will marry three times being twice a widower i brooded over the matter feeling like a goat awaiting sacrifice before the temple of triple matrimony you may as well be resigned to your fate my brother not had remarked your written horoscope has correctly stated you that you would fly from home toward the himalayas during your early years but will be forcibly returned the forecast of your marriages is also bound to be true a clear intuition came to me one night that the prophecy was wholly false i said fire to the horse group scroll placing the ashes in a paper bag and which i wrote seeds of past karma cannot germinate if they are roasted in the divine fires of wisdom i put the bag in a conspicuous spot i not immediately read my defiant comment you cannot destroy truth as easily as you have burned this paper scroll my brother laughed scornfully it is a fact that on three occasions before i reached manhood my family tried to arrange my betrothal each time i refused to fall in with their plans knowing that my love for god was more overwhelming than any astrological persuasions from the past the deeper the self-realization of a man the more he influences the whole universe by his subtle spiritual vibrations and the less he himself is affected by the phenomenal flux these words of masters often returned inspiring to my mind occasionally i told astrologers to select my worst periods according to planetary indications and i would still accomplish whatever task i set myself it is true that my success at such times had been accompanied by extraordinary difficulties but my conviction has always been justified faith in the divine protection and the right use of man's god-given will are forces formidable beyond any of the inverted bull can muster this starry inscription of one's birth i came to understand is not that man is a puppet of his past its message is rather a pride to pride the very heavens seek to arouse man's determination to be free from every limitation god created each man as a soul powered with individuality hence essential to the universal structure whether in the temporary role of pillars or parasite his freedom is final and an idiot if so he wills it depends not on outer but inner victories shri yukteshwar discovered the mathematical application of a 24 000 year equinox cycle to our present age the cycle is divided into ascending ark and a descending arc each of twelve thousand years within each arc fall four yugas or ages called kali duopara treta and satya corresponding to the greek ideas of iron bronze silver and golden ages my guru determined by various calculations that the last kali yuga or iron age of the ascending ark started at about ad500 the iron age 1200 years in duration is a span of materialism it ended about ad 1700 that year ushered in to a para yuga a 2400 year period of electrical and atomic energy development the age of telegraph radio airplanes and other space annihilators the 3600 year period of the treta yuga will start in ad-4100 its age will be marked by common knowledge of telepathic communications and other time annihilators during the 4 800 years of satya yuga final age in ascending ark the intelligence of a man will be completely developed he will work in harmony with a divine plan a descending arc of 12 000 years starting with a descending golden age of 4 800 years then begins for the world man gradually sinks into ignorance these cycles are the eternal rounds of maya the contrast and the relativities of the phenomenal universe man one by one escapes from creation's prison of duality as he awakens the consciousness of his inseverable divine unity with a creator master enlarged my understanding not only of astrology but of the world scriptures placing the holy text on the spotless table of his mind he was able to dissect them with the scalpel of intuitive reasoning and to separate errors interpolations of scholars from the truth as originally expressed by the prophets fix one's vision on the end of the nose this inaccurate interpretation of the bhagavad-gita stanza widely accepted by eastern pundits and western translators used to arouse master's draw criticism the path of a yogi is singular enough as it is he remarked why counsel him that he must also make himself cross-eyed the true meaning of nasikagram is origin of the nose not end of the nose the nose begins at the point between the two eyebrows the seat of spiritual vision because of one shankya aphorism ishwar ashida a lord of creation cannot be deduced or god is not proved many scholars call the whole philosophy atheistical this verse is not nihilistic sri yakdeshwar explained it merely signifies that to the unenlightened man dependent on his senses for final judgment proof of god must remain unknown and therefore non-existent true shankar followers with unshakable insight born of meditation understand that the lord is both existent and noble master expounded the christian bible with a beautiful clarity it was from my hindu guru unknown to the roll call of christian membership that i learned to perceive the deathless essence of the bible and to understand the truth in christ's assertion surely the most thrilling intransit ever uttered heaven and earth shall pass away but my word shall not pass away the great masters of india mold their lives by the same godly ideals which animated jesus these men are as proclaimed kin whosoever shall do the will of my father which is in heaven the same is my brother and sister and mother if ye continue in my word christ pointed out then are ye my disciples indeed and ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free freemen all lords of themselves the yogi christ of india are part of the immortal fraternity those who attained a liberating knowledge of the one father the adam and eve's story is incomprehensible to me i observed with considerable heat one day in my early struggles with the allegory why did god punish not only the guilty pair but also the innocent unborn generations master was more amused by my vehemence and my ignorance genesis is deeply symbolic and cannot be grasped by literal interpretation he explained its tree of life is the human body the spinal cord is like an upturned tree with man's hair as its roots and a fern and efferent nerves as branches the tree of the nervous system bears many enjoyable fruits or sensations of sight sound smell and taste and touch in these man may rightfully indulge but he was forbidden the experience of sex the apple at the center of the bodily garden the serpent represents the coiled up spinal energy which stimulates the sex nerves adam is reason and eve is feeling when the emotions or eve consciousness and any human being is overpowered by the sex impulse his reason or adam also succumbs god created the human species by materializing the bodies of man and woman through the force of his will he endowed the new species with the power to create children in a similar immaculate or divine manner because his manifestation and the individualized soul had hitherto been limited to animals instinct bound and lacking the potentialities of full reason god made the first human bodies symbolically called adam and eve to these for advantageous upward evolution he transferred the souls or divine essence of two animals in adam or man reason predominated in eve or woman feeling was ascendant thus was expressed a duality or polarity which underlies the phenomenal worlds reason and feeling remain in the heaven of cooperative joy so long as the human mind is not tricked by the serpentine energy of animal propensities the human body was therefore not solely a result of evolution from beast but was produced by an act of special creation by god the animal formed were too crude to express full divinity the human being was uniquely given a tremendous mental capacity the thousand petal lotus of the brain as well as acutely awakened occult centers in the spine god or the divine consciousness present within the first created pair counsel them to enjoy all human sensibilities but not to put their concentration on touch sensation these were banned in order to avoid the development of the sex organs which would enmesh humanity in the inferior animal method of propagation the warning not to revive subconsciously present bestial memories was not heated resuming the way of brute procreation adam and eve fell from the state of heavenly joy natural to the original perfect man knowledge of good and evil refers to the cosmic dualistic compulsion falling under the sway of maya through misuse of his feeling reason or even adam consciousness man relinquishes his right to enter the heavenly garden of divine self-sufficiency the personal responsibility of every human being is to restore his parents or dual nature to a unified harmony or eden as sri yakushwar ended his discourse i glance with new respect on the pages of genesis dear master i said for the first time i feel a proper filial obligation toward adam and eve end of chapter chapter 17 saucy and the three sapphires because you and my son think so highly of swami shri yukteshwar i will take a look at him the tone of voice used by dr narion chunder roy implied that he was humoring the whim of halfwitch i concealed my indignation in the best traditions of the prophesizer my companion the veterinary surgeon was a confirmed agnostic his son santosh had implored me to take an interest in his father so far my invaluable aid had been a bit on invisible side dr roy accompanied me the following day to the serempor hermitage after master had granted him a brief interview marked for the most part by stoic silence on both sides the visitor bruskie departed why bring a dead man to the ashram sri yukteswar looked at me inquiringly as soon as the door had closed on the calcutta skeptic sir the doctor is very much alive but in a short time he will be dead i was shocked sir this will be a terrible blow to his son santosh yet hopes for time to change his father's materialistic views i beseech you master to help the man very well for your sake my guru's face was impassive the proud horse doctor is far gone in diabetics although he does not know it in 15 days he will take to his bed the physician will give him up for lost his natural time to leave the earth is six weeks from the day due to your intercession however on that date he will recover but there is one condition you must get him to wear an astrological bangle he wouldn't doubtless object as violently as one of the horrors before an operation master chuckled after a silence during which i wondered how santosh and i could best employ the arts of canjolri on the recalcitrant doctor sri yuktaswar made further disclosures as soon as the man gets well advise him not to eat meat he will not heed this council however and in six months just as he's feeling at his best he will drop dead even that six-month extension of life is granted him only because of your plea the following day i suggested to santosh that he ordered an armlet at the jewelers it was ready in a week but dr roy refused to put it on i am in the best of health you will never impress me with those astrological superstitions the doctor glanced at me belligerently i recalled with amusement that master had justifiably compared the man to a bulky horse another seven days passed the doctor suddenly ill meekly consented to wear the bangle two weeks later the physician in attendance told me that his patients case was hopeless he supplied harrowing details of the ravages inflicted by diabetes i shook my head my guru has said that after a sickness lasting one month dr roy will be well the physician stared at me incredulously but he sought me out a fortnight later with an apologetic heir dr roy has made a complete recovery exclaimed it is the most amazing case in my experience never before have i seen a dying man so such an inexplicable comeback your guru must indeed be a healing prophet after one interview with dr roy during which i repeated sri yakushwar's advice about a meatless diet i did not see the man again for six months he stopped for a chat one evening as i sat on the piazza of my family home on grupo road tell your teacher that by eating meat frequently i have wholly regained my strength his own scientific ideas on diet have not influenced me it was true that dr roy rooked a picture of health but the next day santosh came running to me from his home on the next block this morning father dropped dead this case was one of the strangest experiences of master he healed the rebellious veterinary surgeon in spite of his disbelief and extended the man's natural term on earth by six months just because of my earnest supplications sri yakdaswar was boundless in his kindness when confronted by the urgent prayer of a devotee it was my proudest privilege to bring college friends to meet my guru many of them would lay aside at least in the ashram their fashionable academic cloak of religious skepticism one of my friends sassy spent a number of happy weekends in saranpor master became immensely fond of the boy and lamented that his private life was wild and sorely saucy unless you reform one year henceforth you will be dangerously ill sri yetter swore gazed at my friend with affection exasperation mukunda is the witness don't say later that i didn't warn you saucy laughed master i will leave it to you to interest a sweet charity of cosmos in my own sad case my spirit is willing but my will is weak you are my only savior on earth i believe in nothing else at least you should wear a two carat blue sapphire it will help you i can't afford one anyhow dear guru jay it travel comes i believe you will protect me in a year you will bring three sapphires sri yakushwar reply it cryptically they will be of no use then variations of this conversation took place regularly i can't reform saucy would say in comical despair and my trust in you master is more precious to me than any stone a year later i was visiting my guru at the kolkata home of his disciple naren babu about ten o'clock in the morning as shri yukteshwar and i were sitting quietly in the second floor parlour i heard the front door open master straightened stiffly it is that sasha he remarked gravely the year is now up both his lungs are gone he has ignored my counsel tell him i don't want to see him half stunned by sri yathurshwar stern as i raced down the stairway saucy was ascending o mukunda i do hope master is here i had a hunch he might be yes but he doesn't wish to be disturbed saucy burst into tears and brushed past me he threw himself a tree yukto schwarz feet placing their three beautiful sapphires omniscient guru the doctors say i have galloping tuberculosis they give me no longer than three more months i humbly employ your aid i know you can heal me isn't it a bit late now to be worrying over your health depart with your jewels their time of usefulness has passed master then sat sphinx like in an unrelenting silence punctuated by the boy's sob for mercy an intuitive conviction came to me that tree yuktaswar was merely testing the depths of saucy's faith and the divine healing power i was not surprised at tense hour later when master turned to sympathetic gaze of my prostate friend get up saucy what a commotion you make in other people's houses return your sapphires to the jewelers they are an unnecessary expense now but get an astrological bangle and wear it fear not in a few weeks you shall be well sassy smile and lumened his tear marred face like sudden sun over a sudden landscape beloved guru shall i take the medicines prescribed by the doctors shri yuktoshwar's glance was lumonious just as you wish drink them or discard them it does not matter it is more possible for the sun and moon to interchange their positions than for you to die of tuberculosis he added abruptly go now before i change my mind with an agitated bowel my friend hastily departed i visited him several times during the next few weeks and was aghast to find his condition increasingly worse sassy cannot last through the night these words from his physician and the spectacle of my friend now reduced almost to a skeleton sent me paste to saranpur my guru listened coldly to my tearful report why do you come here to bother me you've already heard me assure saucy of his recovery i bowed before him in grade ah and retreated to the door shri yuktoshwar said no parting word but sank into silence his unwinking eyes half open their vision fled to another world i returned it once to saucy's home in calcutta with astonishment i found my friend sitting up drinking milk oh mukunda what a miracle four hours ago i felt master's presence in the room my terrible symptoms immediately disappeared i feel that through his grace i am entirely well in a few weeks saucy was stouter and in better health than ever before but his singular reaction to his healing had an ungrateful tinge he seldom visited sri yukteshwar again my friend told me one day that he so deeply regretted his previous mode of life that he was ashamed to face master i could only conclude that saucy's illness had had the contrasting effect of stiffening his will and impairing his manners the first two years of my course at scottish church college were drawn to a close my classroom attendance had been very spasmatic what little studying i did was only to keep peace with my family my two private tutors came regularly to my house i was regularly absent i can discern at least this one regularity in my scholastic career in india two successful years of college bring an intermediate arts diploma the student may then look forward to another two years and his a b degree the intermediate arts final examination loomed ominously ahead i fled to puri where my guru was spending a few weeks vaguely hoping that he would sanction my non-appearance at the finals i related my embarrassing unpreparedness but master smile consolingly you have wholeheartedly pursued your spiritual duties and could not help neglecting your college work apply yourself diligently to your books for the next week you shall get through your deal without failure i returned to calcutta firmly suppressing all reasonable doubts that occasionally arose with unnerving ridicule surveying the mountain of books on my table i felt like a traveler lost in the wilderness a long period of meditation brought me a labor-saving inspiration opening each book at random i studied only those pages which lay thus exposed pursuing this course during 18 hours a day for a week i considered myself entitled to advise all succeeding generations on the art of cramming the following days in examination halls were justification of my seemingly haphazard procedure i passed all the tests though by a hair breath the congratulations of my friends and family were digitally mixed with ejaculations betraying their astonishment on his return from puri shri yukteshwar gave me a pleasant surprise your calcutta studies are now over i will see that you pursue your last two years of university work right here in saranpor i was puzzled sir there is no bachelor of arts course in this town serum pork college the seoul institution of higher learning offered only a two-year course in intermediate arts masters smiled mischievously i am too old to go about collecting donations to establish an a b college for you i guess i shall have to arrange the matter through someone else two months later professor howell president of syrian port college publicly announced that he has succeeded in raising sufficient funds to offer a four-year course serum pork college became a branch affiliation of the university of calcutta i was one of the first students to enroll in saranpor as an ab candidate guruji how kind you are to me i have been longing to leave calcutta and be near you every day in singapore professor howell does not dream how much he owes to your silent help shri yuktoswar gazed at me with mock severity now you won't have to spend so many hours on trains what a lot of free time for your studies perhaps you will become less of a last-minute crammer and more of a scholar but somehow his tone lacked conviction end of chapter chapter 18 a wonder worker years ago right in this very room you know occupy a wonder worker performed four miracles before me sri yakushwar made his surprising statement during his first visit to my new quarters immediately after entering sirimport college i had taken a room in a nearby boarding house called panty it was an old-fashioned brick mansion fronting the ganges master what a coincidence are these newly decorated walls really ancient with memories i looked around my simply furnished room with awakened interest it is a long story my guru smiled reminiscently the name of the fakir was afsal khan he had acquired his extraordinary powers through a chance encounter with a hindu yogi son i am thirsty fetch me some water a dust covered sannyasi made his request for one day during his early boyhood in a small village of eastern bengal master i am a muhammadan how could you a hindu accept a drink from my hands your truthfulness pleases me my child i do not observe the ostracizing rules of ungodly sectarianism go bring me water quickly afsal's reverent obedience was rewarded by a loving glance from the yogi you possess good karma from former lives he observed solemnly i am going to teach you a certain yoga method which will give you command over one of the invisible realms the great powers that will be yours should be exercised for worthy ends never employ them selfishly i perceive alas that you have brought over from the past some see the destructive tendencies do not allow them to sprout by watering them with fresh evil actions the complexity of your previous karma is such that you must use this life to reconcile your yoga accomplishments with the highest humanitarian goals after instructing the amazed boy in a complicated technique the master vanished after faithfully followed his yoga exercise for 20 years his miraculous feats began to attract widespread attention it seems that he was always accompanied by a disembodied spirit whom he called hazrat this invisible entity was able to fulfill the fakir's slightest wish ignoring his master's warning afsal began to misuse his powers whatever object he touched and then replaced would soon disappear without a trace this disconcerting eventuality usually made the an objectionable guest he visited large jewelry stores in calcutta from time to time represented himself as a possible purchaser any jewel he handled would vanish shortly after he left the shop afsal was often surrounded by several hundred students attracted by the hope of learning his secrets the vakir occasionally invited them to travel with him at the railway station he would manage to touch a roll of tickets these he would return to the clerk remarking i have changed my mind and won't buy them now but when he boarded the train with his retinue afsah wouldn't be in possession of the required tickets these exploits created an indigent uproar bengali jewelers and ticket sellers were succumbing to nervous breakdown the police who sought to arrest found themselves helpless the fakir could remove incriminated evidence merely by saying hazrat take this away sri yukteshwar rose from his seat and walked to the balcony of my room which overlooked the ganges i followed him eager to hear more of the baffling muhammad and raffles this ponte house formerly belonged to a friend of mine he became acquainted with afsal and asked him here my friend also invited about 20 neighbors including myself i was only a youth then and felt a lively curiosity about the notorious fakir master laughed i took the precaution of not wearing anything valuable afsal looked me over inquisitively then remarked you have powerful hands and go downstairs to the garden get a smooth stone and write your name on it with chalk then throw the stone as far as possible into the ganges i obeyed as soon as the stone had vanished under the distant waves the muhammadan addressed me again fill a pot with ganges water near the front of this house after i had returned with a vessel of water the vaquer cried hazrat put the stone in the pot the stone appeared at once i pulled it from the vessel and found my signature as legible as i had written it babu one of my friends in the room was wearing a heavy antique gold watch and chain the fakir examined them with ominous admiration soon they were missing afsal please return my prized hairloom babu was nearly in tears the muhammadan was stoically silent for a while and then said you have 500 rupees in an iron safe bring them to me and i will tell you where to locate your timepiece the distraught babu left immediately for his house he came back shortly and handed off the required some go to the little bridge near your house the fakir instructed babu call on hazrat to give you the watch and chain babu rushed away on his return he was wearing a smile of relief and no joy whatever when i commanded hazrat as directed he announced my watch came tumbling down from the air into my right hand you may be sure i locked the hairloom in my safe before rejoining the group here babu's friends witnesses of the comic tragedy of a ransom for a watch were staring with resentment afsil he now spoke placidly please name any drink you want hazrat will produce it a number asked for milk others for fruit juices i was not too much shocked when the unnerved babu requested whiskey the gave an order the obliging hazrat sent sealed containers sailing down the air and thudding on the floor each man found his desired beverage the promise of the fourth spectacular feat of the day was doubtless gratifying to our host afzal offered to supply an instantaneous launch let us order the most expensive dishes babu suggested gloomily i want an elaborate meal for my 500 rupees everything should be served on gold plates as soon as each man had expressed his preference the fakir addressed himself to the inexhaustible hajrat a great rattle ensued gold platters filled with intricately prepared curies hot luchies and many out-of-season fruits landed from nowhere at our feet all the food was delicious after feasting for an hour we started to leave the room a tremendous noise as though dishes were being piled up caused us to turn around low there was no signs of the glittering plates of the remnants of the meal guruji interrupted if ozil could easily secure such things as gold dishes why did he covet the property of others the fakir was not highly developed spiritually sri yakdeshwar explained his mastery of a certain yoga technique gave him access to an astral plane where any desire is immediately materialized through the agency of an astral being hazrat the muhammadan could summon the atoms of any objects from any etheric energy by an act of powerful will but such astrally protected objects are structurally evanescent they cannot be long retained afsal still yearn for worldly wealth which though more hardly earned has a more dependable durability i laughed it is too sometimes vanishes most uncountably was not a man of god realization master went on miracles of a permanent and beneficial nature are performed by true saints because they have attuned themselves to the omnipotent creator afsal was merely an ordinary man with an extraordinary power of penetrating a subtle realm not usually entered by mortals until death i understand now guruji the after world appears to have some charming features master agreed i never saw after that day but a few years later babu came to my home to show me a newspaper account of the mohammedan's public confession from it i learned the facts i've just told you about afsal's early initiation from a hindu guru the gist of the latter part of the published document as recalled by sri yakteshwar was as follows i absol khan now writing these words as an act of penance and as a warning to those who seek the possession of miraculous powers for years i have been misusing the wondrous abilities imparted to me through the grace of god and my master i became drunk with egotism feeling that i was beyond the ordinary laws of morality my day of reckoning finally arrived recently i met an old man on a road outside of calcutta he limped along painfully carrying a shining object which looked like gold i addressed him with greed in my heart i am afsal khan the great fakir what have you there this ball of gold is my sole material wealth it can be of no interest to fakir i implore you sir to heal my limp i touched the ball and walked away without reply the old man hobbled after me he soon raised an outcry my gold is gone as i paid no attention he suddenly spoke in a centorium voice that issued oddly from his frail body do you not recognize me i stood speechless aghast at the belated discovery that this unoppressive old was none other than a great saint who long long ago had initiated me into yoga he straightened himself his body instantly became strong and youthful so my guru's glance was firing i see with my own eyes that you use your powers not to help suffering humanity but to prey on it like a common thief i withdraw your called gift hazrat is now freed from you no longer shall you be a terror in bengal i called on hazrat in anguish tones for the first time he did not appear to my inner sight but some dark veil suddenly lifted within me i saw clearly the blasphemy of my life my guru i thank you for coming to banish my long delusion i was sobbing at his feet i promise to forsake my worldly ambition i will retire to the mountains for lonely meditation on god hoping to atone for evil past my master regarded me with silent compassion i feel your sincerity said finally because of your earlier years of strict obedience and because of your present repentance i will grant you one boon your other powers are now gone but whenever food and clothing are needed you may still call successfully on hazrat to supply them devote yourself wholeheartedly divine understanding in a mountain solitude my guru then vanished i was left to my tears in reflection farewell world i go to seek the forgiveness of the cosmic beloved end of chapter chapter 19 my master in calcutta appears in sirampur i am often beset by atheistic doubts yet a torturing surmise sometimes haunts me may not untapped soul possibilities exist is man not missing his real destiny if he fails to explore them these remarks of dejin babu my roommate at the ponte boarding house were called forth by my invitation that he meet my guru shri yukto swan jay will initiate you into kriya yoga i replied it calms a dualistic turmoil by divine inner certainty that evening dejan accompanied me to the hermitage in masters present my friend received such spiritual peace that he was soon a constant visitor the trivial preoccupations of daily life are not enough for man wisdom too is a native hunger in sri yaktushwar's words dean found an incentive to those attempts first painful then effortlessly liberating to locate a realer self within its bosom then the humiliating ego of a temporary birth seldom ample enough for the spirit as dijin and i were both pursuing the ab course at serenport college we got into the habit of walking together to the ashram as soon as classes were over we would often see shri yuktoswar standing on the second floor balcony welcoming our approach with a smile one afternoon kanai a young hermitage resident met dejen and me at the door with disappointing news master is not here he was summoned to calcutta but on urgent note the following day i received a note and a postcard from my guru i shall leave calcutta wednesday morning he had written you and djinn meet me at nine o'clock train at saranpor station about 8 30 on wednesday morning a telepathic message from sri ukdeshwar flashed insistently to my mind i am delayed do not meet the nine o'clock train i conveyed the latest instruction to dijon who was already dressed for departure you and your intuition my friend's voice was edged in scorn i prefer to trust master's written word i shrugged my shoulders and seated myself with quite finality modernly and angrily digit made for the door and closed it noisely behind me as the room was rather dark i moved near to the window overlooking the street the scant sunlight suddenly increased to an intense brilliancy in which the iron barred window completely vanished against this dazzling background appeared the clearly materialized figure of sri yakushwa bewildering to the point of shock i rose from my chair and knelt before him with my customary gesture of respectful greeting of my guru's feet i touched his shoes these were a pair familiar to me an orange dyed canvas sold with rope his ochre swamy cloth brushed against me i distinctly felt not only the texture of the robe but also the gritty surface of the shoes and the pressure of his toes within them too much astounded to utter the word i stood up and gazed at him questionably i was pleased that you got my telepathic message master's voice was calm entirely normal i have now finished my business in calcutta and shall arrive in saranpor by the 10 o'clock train as i still stared mutely sri yakushwara went on this is not an apparition but my flesh and blood form i have been divinely commanded to give you this experience where to achieve on earth meet me at the station you and dejan will see me coming toward you dressed as i am now i shall be preceded by a few passenger little boy carrying a silver jug my guru placed both hands on my head with a murmured blessing as he concluded with the words tabu asi i heard a peculiar rumbling sound his body began to melt gradually within the piercing light first his feet and his legs vanished then his torso in his head like a scroll being rolled up to the very last i could feel his fingers resting lightly on my hair the effulgence faded nothing remained before me but the barred window on a pale stream of sunlight i remained in a half stupor of confusion questioning whether i had not been the victim of hallucination a crestfallen degen soon entered the room master was not on the nine o'clock train or even the 9 30. my friend made his announcement with a slightly apologetic error come then i know he will arrive at ten o'clock i took jigen's hand and rushed him forcibly along with me he lives in his protest in about 10 minutes we entered the station where the train was already puffing to a halt the whole train is filled with the light of masters aura he is here i exclaimed joyfully you dream so dejan loft mockingly let us wait here i told my friend details on the way in which our guru would approach us as i finished my description sri yakushwar came into view wearing the same clothes i had seen a short time earlier he walked slowly in the wake of a small lad burying a silver jug for a moment a wave of cold fear passed through me at the unprecedented strangest my experience i felt a materialistic 20th century world slipping from me was i back in the ancient days where jesus appeared before peter on the sea as sri yakushwar a modern yogi christ reached the spot where jijin and i were speechly rooted master smiled at my friend and remarked i sent you a message too but you were unable to grasp it dijon was silent but glared at me suspiciously after we had escorted our guru to his hermitage my friend and i proceeded towards saranpor college legion halted in the street indignation streaming from every pore so master sent me a message yet you concealed it i demand an explanation can i help it if your mental mirror oscillates with such restlessness that you cannot register our guru's instruction i retorted the anger vanished from degen's face i see what you mean he said roughly but please explain how you could know about the child with the jug by the time i had finished the story of masters phenomenal appearance at the boarding house that morning my friend and i had reached saranpur college the account i have just heard of our guru's power djin said makes me feel at any university in the world is only a kindergarten end of chapter chapter 20 we do not visit kashmir father i want to invite master and four friends to accompany me to the himalayan foothills during my summer vacation may i have six train passes to cashmere and enough money to cover our travel expenses as i expected father laughed heartily this is the third time you have given me the same and bull story didn't you make a similar request last summer and the year before that at the last moment sri yukto schwarze refuses to go it is true father i don't know why my guru will not give me his definite word about kashmir but if i tell him that i've already secured the passes from you somehow i think that this time he will consent to make the journey father was unconvinced at the moment but the following day after some good humor jives he handed me six passes and a roll of 10 rupee bills i hardly think your theoretical trip needs such practical property remark but here they are that afternoon i exhibited my booty to shri yakuza though he smiled at my enthusiasm his words were non-committal i would like to go we shall see he made no comment when i asked his little hermitage disciple connie to accompany us i also invited three other friends rajindra namitra jolt and adi and one other boy our date of departure was set for the following monday on saturday and sunday i stayed in calcutta where marriage rights for a cousin were being celebrated my family home i arrived in saranpor with my luggage early monday morning rajendra met me at the hermitage door a master is out walking he has refused to go i was equally grieved in order it i will not give father a third chance to ridicule my symmerical plans for cashmere come the rest of us will go anyway rajendra agreed i left the ashram to find a servant connie i knew would not take the trip without master and someone was needed to look after the luggage i be thought myself bahari previously a servant of my family home who was now employed by saranpor schoolmaster as i walked along briskly i met my guru in front of the christian church near saranpor courthouse where were you going sri yuktoswar's face was on smiling sir i hear that you and connie will not take the trip we have been planning i am seeking bihari you will recall that last year he was so anxious to see kashmir that he even offered to serve without pay i remember nevertheless i don't think bihari will be willing to go i was exasperated he is just eagerly waiting for this opportunity my guru silently resumed his walk i soon reached the school master's house bihari in the courtyard greeted me with a friendly warmth that abruptly vanished as soon as i mentioned cashmere with a murmured word of apology the servant left me and entered his employer's home i waited half an hour nervously assuring myself that buhari's delay was being caused by preparations for the trip finally i knocked at the front door buhari left by the back stairs about 30 minutes ago a man informed me a slight smile hovered about his lips i departed sadly wondering whether my invitation had been too coercive or my master's unseen influence were at work passing the christian church again i saw my guru walking slowly toward me without waiting to hear my report he exclaimed so bihari would not go now what are your plans i felt like a recalcitrant child who was determined to defy his masterful father sir i am going to ask my uncle to lend me his servant lol dari see if your uncle if you want to sri yatishua replied with a chuckle but i hardly think you will enjoy your visit apprehensive but rebellious i left my guru and entered saranpor courthouse my paternal uncle serrata gauche a government attorney welcomed me affectionately i am leaving today with some friends for cashmere i told him for years i have been looking forward to this himalayan trip i am happy for you makanda is there anything i can do to make your journey more comfortable these kind words gave me a lift of encouragement dear uncle i said could you possibly spare me your servant lol dary my simple request had the effect of an earthquake uncle jumped so violently that his chair overturned the papers on the desk flew in every direction in his pipe a long coconut-stemmed hubble bubble fell to the floor with a great clatter you selfish young man he shouted quiving with wrath what a preposterous idea who will look after me if you take my servant on one of your pleasure johns i concealed my surprise reflecting that my amiable uncle sudden change of front was only one more enigma in a day fully devoted to the incomprehensibility my retreat from the courthouse office was more eloquentious than dignified i returned to the hermitage where my friends were expectingly gathered conviction was growing on me that some sufficient if exceedingly recondite motive was behind master's attitude remorse ceased me that i've been trying to thwart my guru's will makunda wouldn't you like to stay a while longer with me sure yuccas were inquired rajendra and the others can go ahead now and wait for you at calcutta there will be plenty of time to catch last evening trade leaving calcutta for cashmere sir i don't care to go without you i said mournfully my friends paid not the slightest attention on our mark they summoned a hackney carriage and departed with all the luggage connie and i sat quietly at our guru's feet after a half hour of complete silence master rose and walked toward the second floor dining patio connie please serve mukunda's food his train leaves soon getting up from my blanket seat i staggered suddenly with nausea and a ghastly churning sensation in my stomach the stabbing pain was so intense that i felt i had been abruptly hurled into some violent hell groping blindly toward my guru i collapsed before him attacked all by symptoms of the dread asiatic cholera sri yukteshwar and connie carried me to the sitting room racked with agony i cried master i surrender my life to you for i believed it was indeed fast ebbing from the shores of my body sri yuktoswar put my head on his lap stroking my forehead with angelic tenderness you see now what would happen if you were at the station with your friends he said i had to look after you in a strange way because you chose to doubt my judgment after taking the trip at this particular time i understood at last inasmuch as great masters seldom see fit to display their powers openly a casual observer of the day's event would have imagined their sequence was quite natural my guru's intervention had been so subtle to be suspected he had worked his will through bihari and my uncle sarah and rajendra and the others in such an inconspicuous manner that probably everyone but myself thought the situation had been logically normal as shri yuktoshwar never failed to observe his social obligations he instructed connie to go for a specialist and to notify my uncle master i protested only you can heal me i am too far gone for any doctor child you are protected by the divine mercy don't worry about the doctor he will not find you in this state you are already healed with my guru's words the excruciating suffering left me i sat up feebly a doctor soon arrived and examined me carefully you appear to have passed through the worst he said i will take some specimens with me for laboratory tests the following morning the physician arrived hurriedly i was sitting up in good spirits well well here you are smiling and chatting as though you had no close call with death he patted my hand gently i hardly expected to find you alive after i discovered from the specimens that your disease was asiatic cholera you are a fortunate young man to have a guru with divine healing powers i am convinced of it i agreed wholeheartedly as the doctor was preparing to leave rajendra and adi appeared at the door the resentment in their faces changed into sympathy as they glanced at the physician and then it might somewhat want incontinence we were angry when you didn't turn up as agreed to cut a train you've been sick yes i could not help laughing as my friend placed the luggage in the same corner occupied yesterday i quoted there was a ship that went to spain when it arrived it came back again master entered the room i permitted myself a convalescent liberty and captured his hand lovingly ji i said from my 12th year on i have made many unsuccessful attempts to reach the himalayas i am finally convinced that without your blessing the goddess parvati will not receive me end of chapter chapter 21 we visit kashmir you are strong enough now to travel i will accompany you to kashmir shriektashwar and for me two days after my miraculous recovery from asiatic cholera that evening our party of six entrained for the north our first leisurely stop was at smila a queenly city resting on the throne of the himalayan hills we strolled over the steep streets admiring the magnificent views english strawberries for sale crowd an old woman squatting in a picturesque open marketplace master was curious about the strange little red fruits he bought a basketful and offered it to connie and myself who were nearby i tasted one berry but spat it hastily on the ground sir what a sour fruit i could never like strawberries my guru laughed oh you will like them in america at a dinner there your hostess will serve them with sugar and cream after she has mashed the berries with a fork you will taste them and say what delicious strawberries then you will remember this day in simla sri yetuswa's forecast vanished from my mind but reappeared there many years later shortly after my arrival in america i was a dinner guest at the home of mrs alice t hassey sister yogmata in the west somerville massachusetts when a dessert of strawberries was put on a table my hostess picked up her fork and mashed my berries adding cream and sugar the fruit is rather tart i think you will like it fixed this way she remarked i took a mouthful what delicious strawberries i exclaimed at once my guru's prediction and similar emerged from the fatherless cave of memory it was staggering to realize that long ago shri yuktishwar's god to in mind had sensitively detected the program of karmic events wandering in the ether of futurity our party soon left simla and trained for wallopindi there we hired a large landu drawn by two horses in which we started a seven day trip to srinagar capital city of kashmir the second day of our northbound journey brought into view the true himalayan vastness as the iron wheels of our carriage creaked along the hot stony roads we were enraptured with changing vistas of mountainous grandeur sir adi said to the master i am greatly enjoying these glorious scenes in your holy company i felt a throb of pleasure at audi's appreciation for i was acting this host on this trip sri yuktor caught my thought he turned to me and whispered don't fly to yourself adi is not nearly as entranced with the scenery as he is with the prospect of leaving his long enough to have a cigarette i was shocked sir i said an undertone please do not break our harmony by these unpleasant words i can hardly believe that adi is hankering for a smoke looking apprehensively at my usually irrepressible guru very well i won't say anything to audi master chuckle but you will soon see when the landu halts at adi is quick to seize this opportunity the carriage arrived at a small caravan sea as our horses were led to be watered audi inquired sir do you mind if i ride a while with the driver i would like to get a little outside air sri yukteswar gave permission but remarked to me he wants fresh smoke and not fresh air the landau resumed its noisy progress over the dusty road master's eyes were twinkling he instructed me crane up your neck through the carriage door and see what audi is doing with the air i obeyed and was astonished to observe oddie in the act of exhaling rings of cigarette smoke my glance towards sri yatra was apologetic you are right as always sir adi is enjoying a puff alongside with a panorama i surmise that my friend had received a gift from the cab driver i knew adi had not carried any cigarettes from kolkata we continued on the labyrinth way adorned by views of rivers valleys precipitous craigs and multitudinous mountain tears every night we stopped at rushed against and prepared our own food sri yakkurshwar took special care of my diet insisting that i have little iron juice on all meals i was still weak but daily improving through the rattling carriage was strictly designed for discomfort joyous anticipations filled our hearts as we neared central cashmere paradise land of lotus lakes floating gardens daily canopied houseboats the many bridge jhelum river and flower strewn pastures all ringed round by the himalayan majesty our approach to srinagar was through an avenue of tall welcoming trees we engaged rooms that are double stored in overlooking the noble hills no running water was available we drew our supply from a nearby well the summer weather was ideal with warm days and slightly cold nights we made a pilgrimage to the ancient srinagar temple of swamishankara as i gazed upon the mountain peak hermitage standing bold against the sky i fell into an ecstatic trance a vision appeared on the hilltop mansion in distant land the lofty shinkara ashram before me was transformed into the structure where years later i established a self-realization fellowship headquarters in america when i first visited los angeles and saw the large building on the crest of mount washington i recognized it at once for my long past visions in cashmere and elsewhere a few days at srinagar then on to gulmar mountain's path of flowers elevated by six thousand feet there i had my first ride on a large horse rajendra mounted a small trotter whose heart was fired with ambition for speed we ventured onto the very steep column the path led through a dense force abounding in tree mushrooms where the missed shrouded trails were often precarious but rajendra's little animal never permitted my oversized steed a moment's rest even at the most perilous turns on on entirely came regenerous horse oblivious to all but the joy of competition our strenuous race was rewarded by breathtaking views for the first time in this life i gazed in all directions at sublime snow-capped himalayas lying tear upon tear like silhouettes of huge polar bears my eyes feasted exaltingly on endless reaches of icy mountains against sunny blue skies i rolled merrily with my young companions all wearing overcoats on the sparkling white slopes on our downward trip we saw far a vast carpet of yellow flowers wholly transfiguring the bleak hills our next excursions were the famous royal pleasure gardens of the emperor genengar at shalamar and nishitba the ancient palace at nishiba is built directly over natural waterfall rushing down from the mountains the torrent has been regulated through ingenious contrivances to flow over colorful terraces and the gush into phones amidst the dazzling flower beds the stream also enters several of the palace rooms ultimately dropping fairy-like into the lake below the immense gardens are riotous with color roses of dozen hues snapdragons lavenders pansies poppies an emerald enclosing outline is given by symmetrical rows of chinars cypresses cherry trees beyond them tower the white austerity of the himalayas cashmere grapes are considered a rare delicacy in calcutta regendra who had been promising himself a veritable feast on region cashmere was disappointed to find their no large vineyards now and then i chaffed him joculy over his baseless anticipation oh i have become so much gorge with grapes i can't walk i would say the invisible grapes are brewing within me later i heard that sweet grapes grow abundantly in kabul west of cashmere we consoled ourselves with ice cream made of rubbery a heavily condensed milk and flavored with whole pistachio nuts we took several trips in the shekars or houseboats shaded by red embroidered canopies coursing along the intricate channels of dahl lake a network of canals like a watery spider web here the numerous floating gardens crudely improvised with logs and earth strike one with amazement so incongruous is the first sight of vegetables and melons growing in the midst of vast waters occasionally once he's a peasant disdaining to be rooted to the soil towing his square plot of land to a new location in the many finger lake in this storied veil one finds an epitome of all earth's beauty the lady of cashmere is mountain crowned lake garland and flower shawn in later years after i had toured many distant lands i understood why cashmere is often called the world's most scenic spot it possesses some of the charms of the swiss alps and have locked loman in scotland and of the exquisite english lakes an american traveler in cashmere finds much to remind him of the rugged grandeur of alaska and pike peaks near denver as entries and scenic beauty contests i offer for first prize either the gorgeous views of zoximo and mexico where mountains skies and poplars reflect themselves in a myriad lanes of water amidst the playful fish or the jewel-like lakes of cashmere guarded like beautiful maidens by the stern surveillance of the himalayas these two places stand out in my memory as the loveliest spots on earth yet i was odd also when i first beheld the wonders of yellowstone national park and of the grand canyon of the colorado and of alaska yellowstone park is perhaps the only region where one can see innumerable geysers shooting high into the air performing a year after year with clockwork regularity it's opal and sapphire pools and hot sulfur springs it bears and wild creatures remind me that here nature left a specimen of her earliest creation motoring along the roads of wyoming to the devil's paint pot of hot bubbling mud with gurgling springs vaporous phones and spouting geysers in all directions i was disposed to say that yellowstone deserves a special prize for uniqueness the ancient majestic redwoods of yosemite stretching their huge column far into the unfathomable sky are green natural cathedrals designed with skilled divine though there are wonderful falls in the orient none match the torrential beauty of niagara near the canadian border the mammoth caves of kentucky and the carlsbad cavern in new york mexico with colorful ice-like formations are stunning fairylands their long needles of stalactite spires hanging from cave ceilings and mirrored in underground waters present a glimpse of other worlds as fancied by men most of the hindus of kashmir world famed for their beauty are as white as europeans and have similar features in bone structure many have blue eyes and blonde hair dressed in western clothes they look like americans the cold himalayas protect the cashmeres from the sultry sun and preserve their light complexion as one travels to the southern and tropical latitudes of india he finds progressively that the people become darker and darker after spending happy weeks in cashmere i was forced to return to bengal for the fall term of saranpor college shri yukteshwar remained in srinagar with kani and adi before i departed master hinted that his body would be subject to suffering and cashmere sir you look a picture of health i protested there is a chance that it may even leave this earth guru ji i felt at his feet with an imploring jester please promise me that you won't leave your body now i am utterly unprepared to carry on without you shri yuktoshwar was silent but smiled at me so compassionately that i felt reassured reluctantly i left him master dangerously ill this telegram from adi reached me shortly after my return to saranpur sir i wired my guru fanatically i asked for your promise not to leave me please keep your body otherwise i shall also die and be it as you wish this was shri yukteshwar's reply from kashmir a letter from adi arrived in a few days informing me that master had recovered on his return to sirport during the next fortnight i was grieved to find my guru's body reduced to half its usual weight fortunately for his disciples sri yakushwar burned many of their sins in the fire of a severe fever and cashmere the metaphysical method of physical transfer of disease is known to highly advanced yogis a strong man can assist a weaker one by helping to carry his heavy load a spiritual superman is able to minimize his disciples physical or mental burdens by sharing the karma of their past actions just as a rich man loses some money when he pays off a large debt for his prodigal son who was thus saved from dire consequences of his own folly so a master willingly sacrifices the portion of his bodily wealth to lighten the misery of disciples by a secret method the yogi unites his mind and astral vehicle with those of a suffering individual the disease is conveyed holier in part to a saints body having harvested god on a physical plane a master no longer cares what happens to the material form though he may allow it to register a certain disease in order to relieve others his mind is never affected he considers himself fortunate being able to render such aid the devotee who has achieved final salvation and lord finds that his body has completely fulfilled its purpose he can then use it in any way he deems fit his work in the world is to alleviate the sorrows of mankind whether through spiritual means or by intellectual counsel or through willpower or by the physical transfer disease escaping to the super conscious whenever he so desires a master can remain oblivious of physical suffering sometimes he chooses to bear bodily pain stoically as an example to stifles by putting on the ailments of others a yogi can satisfy for them the karmic law of cause and effect this law is mechanically or mathematically operative its workings can be scientifically manipulated by men of divine wisdom the spiritual law does not require a master to become ill whenever he heals another person healing ordinarily takes place the saints knowledge of various methods of instantaneous cure in which no hurt to the spiritual healers involved on rare occasions however a master who wishes to greatly quicken his disciples evolution may then voluntarily work out his own body a large measure of their undesirable karma jesus signified himself as a ransom for the sins of many with his divine powers his body could never have been subjected to death by crucifixion if he had not willingly cooperated with the subtle cosmic laws of cause and effect he thus took on himself the consequence of others karma especially that of his disciples in this manner they were highly purified and made fit to receive the omnipresent consciousness which later descended on them only a self-realized master can transfer his life force or convey into his own body the disease of others an ordinary man cannot employ this yogic method of cure nor is it desirable that he should do so for an unsound physical instrument is a hindrance to god meditation the hindu scriptures teach that the first duty of man is to keep his body in good condition otherwise his mind is unable to remain fixed in devotional concentration a very strong mind however can transcend all physical difficulties and attain to god realization many saints have ignored illness and succeeded in their divine quest saint francis of assisi severely afflicted with ailments healed others and even raised the dead i knew an indian saint half of whose body was once festering with sores his diabetic condition was so acute that under ordinary conditions he could not sit still at one time for more than 15 minutes but his spiritual aspiration was undeterrable lord he prayed wilt thou come into my broken temple with ceaseless command of will the saint gradually became able to sit daily in lotus posture for 18 continuous hours engrossed in the ecstatic trance and he told me at the end of three years i found the infinite light blazing within my shattered form rejoiceful in the joyful splendor i forgot the body later i saw that it become whole through divine mercy a historical healing incident concerns king baber founder of the mogul empire in india his son prince humayun was mortally ill the father prayed with anguish determination that he received the sickness and his son be spared after all physicians had given hope humayun recovered babur immediately fell sick and died of the same disease which had stricken his son humayun succeeded baber as emperor of the hindustan many people imagine that every spiritual master has or should have the health and strength of ascendant the assumption is unfounded a sickly body does not indicate that a guru is not in touch with divine powers any more than lifelong health necessarily indicates an inner illumination the condition of the physical body in other words cannot rightfully be made a test of a master his distinguishing qualifications must be sought in his own domain the spiritual numerous bewildered seekers in the west erroneously think that an eloquent speaker or writer on metaphysics must be a master the rishis however have pointed out that the acid test of a master is a man's ability to enter at will the breathless state and to maintain the unbroken samadhi of nirbhakulpa only by these achievements can a human being prove that he has mastered maya or the dualistic cosmic delusion he alone can save from the depth of realization eckham sought only one exists the vedas declared that the ignorant man who rests content with making the slightest distinction between the individual soul and the supreme self is exposed to danger shankara the great monist has written where there is duality by virtue of ignorance one sees all things as distinct from the self when everything is seen as the self then there is not even an atom other than the self as soon as the knowledge of the reality has sprung up there can be no fruits of past actions to be experienced owing to the unreality of the body in the same way as there can be no dream after waking only great gurus are able to assume the karma of disciples shri yuktaswar would not have suffered in kashmir unless he had received permission from the spirit within him to help his disciples in that strange way few saints were ever more sensitively equipped with wisdom to carry out divine commands than my god-tuned master when i ventured a few words of sympathy over his emaciated figure my guru said gaily it has its good points i am now able to get into small ganges that i haven't worn in years listening to the masters jovial laugh i remembered the words of saint francis de sal a saint that is sad is a sad saint end of chapter chapter 22 the heart of a stone image as a loyal hindu wife i do not wish to complain of my husband but i yearn to see him turn from his materialistic views he delights in ridiculing the picture of saints in my meditation room dear brother i have deep faith that you can help him will you my eldest sister aroma gazed besiegingly at me i was paying a short visit at her calcutta home on girish vin yatra lane her plea touched me for she had exercised a profound spiritual influence over my early life and had lovingly tried to fill a void left in the family circle my mother's death beloved sister of course i will do anything i can i smiled eager to lift the gloom painfully evident on her face in contrast to her usual calm and cheerful expression roman i sat a while on silent prayer for guidance a year earlier my sister had asked me to initiate her into kriya yoga in which she was making notable progress an inspirational sees me tomorrow i said i am going to dakashwar temple please come with me and persuade your husband to accompany us i feel that in the vibrations of that holy place divine mother will touch his heart but don't disclose our object in wanting him to go sister agreed hopefully very early the next morning i was pleased to find that roma and her husband were in readiness for the trip as our hackney carriage rattled along upper circular road nerdakeshwar my brother-in-law satish chandra bose amused himself by deriding spiritual gurus of the past present and future i noticed that roma was quietly weeping sister cheer up i whispered don't give your husband the satisfaction of believing that we take his mockery seriously mukunda how can you admire worthless humbug satish was saying a sadhu's very appearance is repulsive he is either as sin as a skeleton or as unholy fat as an elephant i shouted with laughter my good-natured reaction was annoying to satish he retired into sullen silence as our cab entered the dachshund garns he grinned sarcastically this excursion i suppose is a scheme to reform me as i turned away without reply he caught my arm young mr monkey said don't forget to make proper arrangements with the temple authorities to provide for our new meal i am going to meditate now do not worry about your lunch i replied sharply divine mother will look after it i don't trust divine mother to do a single thing for me but i do hold you responsible for my food satisha's tone was threatening i proceeded along to the colonnade hall where france the large temple of cali or mother nature selecting a shady spot near one of the pillars i arranged my body in the lotus position although it was only about seven o'clock the morning sun would soon be oppressive the world receded as i became devotionally entrenched my mind was concentrated on goddess kali whose images at dhaka choir had been the special object of adoration by the great master sri ramakrishna paramansa in answer to his anguished demands the stone image of this fairy temple had often taken a living form and conversed with him silent mother with stony heart i prayed thou become filled with life at the request of thy beloved devotee ramakrishna why dost thou not also heed the whales of this yearning son of thine my aspiring zeal and christ boundlessly accompanied by divine peace yet when five hours had passed and the goddess whom i was inwardly visualizing had made no response i felt slightly disheartened sometimes it is a test by god to delay the fulfillment of prayers but he eventually appears to the persistent devotee in whatever form he holds dear a devout christian sees jesus a hindu beholds krishna or the goddess kali or an expanding light if his worship takes an impersonal turn reluctantly i opened my eyes and saw the temple doors were being locked by a priest in conformance with noon our custom i rose from my secluded seat under the open roofed hall and stepped into the courtyard in stone floor was scorching under the midday sun my bare feet were painfully burned divine mother i silently demonstrated thou does not come to me in vision and now lord hidden in the temple behind closed doors i wanted to offer a special prayer to thee today on behalf of my brother-in-law my inward petition was instantly acknowledged first a delightful cold wave descended over my back and under my feet banishing all discomfort then to my amazement the temple became greatly magnified its large door slowly opened revealing the stone figure of goddess kali gradually it changed into a living form smiling nodding and greeting thrilling me with joy indescribable as if by a mystic syringe the breath was withdrawn from my lungs the body became very still though not inert an ecstatic enlargement of consciousness followed i could see clearly for several miles over the ganges river to my left and beyond the temple and to the entire texuan or precinct the walls of all buildings glimmered transparently through them i observed people walking to and fro over distant acres though i was breathless in my body in strangely quiet state yet i was able to move my hands and feet freely for several minutes i experimented in closing and opening my eyes and either stayed i saw distinctly the whole dachshund eye panorama spiritual sight x-ray-light penetrates into all matter the divine eye is center everywhere circumference nowhere i realized the news standing there in the sunny courtyard that when man ceases to be a prodigal child of god engrossed in a physical world indeed dream bearless is a bubble he re-inherits his eternal realms if escapism be a need of man cramped in his narrow personality can any escape compare with the majesty of omnipresence in my sacred experience at dakshinar the only extraordinarily enlarged objects were the temple and the form of the goddess everything else appeared in its normal dimension although each was enclosed in a halo of mellow light white blue and pastel rainbow hues my body seemed to be of ethereal substance ready to levitate fully conscious of my material surroundings i was looking about me and taking a few steps without disturbing the continuity of the blissful vision behind the temple walls i suddenly glimpsed my brother-in-law as he sat under the thorny branches of a sacred bell tree i could effortlessly discern the course of his thoughts somewhat uplifted under the holy influence of dachshundar his mind yet held unkind reflections about me i turned directly to the gracious form of the goddess divine mother i prayed will thou not spiritually change my sister's husband the beautiful figure hitherto silence spoke at last thy wishes granted i looked happily at satish as though instinctively aware that some spiritual power was at work he rose resentfully from a seat on the ground i saw him running behind the temple he approached me shaking his fist the all-embracing vision disappeared no longer could i see the glorious goddess the towering temple was reduced to its ordinary size minus its transparency again my body sweltered under the fierce rays of the sun i jumped to the shelter of the pillared hall where satish pursued me angrily i looked at my watch it was one o'clock the divine vision had lasted an hour you little fool my brother-in-law blurted out you have been here sitting cross-legged and cross-eyed for six hours i have gone back and forth watching you where is my food now the temple is closed you failed to notify the authorities we are left without lunch the exultation i felt the goddess present was still vibrant within my heart i was emboldened to exclaim divine mother will feed us satish was beside himself with rage once and for all he shouted i would like to see your divine mother giving his food here without prior arrangements his words were hardly uttered when a temple priest crossed the courtyard and joined us son he addressed me i have been observing your face serenely glowing during hours of meditation i saw the arrival of your party this morning and felt a desire to put aside apple food for your lunch it is against the temple rules to feed those who do not make a request beforehand but i have made an exception for you i thanked him and gazed straight into satisha's eyes he flushed with emotion lowering his gaze and silent repentance when we were served a lavish meal including out-of-season mangoes i noticed that my brother-in-law's appetite was meager he was bewildered diving deep into the ocean of thought on the return journey to calcutta satish with softened expression occasionally glasses me pleadingly but he did not speak a single word after the moment the priesthood appeared to invite us to lunch as though in direct answer to satish's challenge the following afternoon i visited my sister at her home she greeted me affectionately dear brother she cried what a miracle last evening my husband wept openly before me beloved devi he said i am happy beyond expression that this reforming scheme of your brothers has wrought a transformation i am going to undo every wrong i have done you from tonight we will use our large bedroom only as a place of worship your small meditation room shall be changed into our sleeping quarters i am sincerely sorry that i have ridiculed your brother for the shameful way i have been acting i will punish myself by not talking to makanda until i have progressed in the spiritual path deeply i will seek the divine mother from now on someday i must surely find her years later i visited my brother-in-law in delhi i was overjoyed to perceive that he had developed highly in self-realization and he had been blessed by the vision of divine mother during my stay with him i noticed that the tease secretly spent the greater part of every night in divine meditation though he was suffering from a serious ailment and was engaged during the day at his office the thought came to me that my brother-in-law's lifespan would not be a long one roma must have read my mind dear brother she said i am well and my husband is sick nevertheless i want you to know that as a devoted hindu wife i am going to be the first one to die it won't be long now before i pass on taken aback by her ominous words i yet realized their sting of truth i was in america when my sister died about a year after a prediction my youngest brother bishnu later gave me the details roma and satish were in calcutta at the time of her death bishnu told me that morning she dressed herself in her bridal finery why this special costume she teach inquired this is my last day of service to you on earth roma replied a short time later she had a heart attack and her son was rushing out for aids he said son do not leave me it is no use i shall be gone before a doctor could arrive ten minutes later holding the feet of her husband in reverence roma consciously left her body happily and without suffering satish became very reclusive after his wife's death vishnu contained on one day he and i were looking at the large smiling photograph of roma why do you smile satish suddenly exclaimed as though his wife were present you think you were clever in arranging to go before me i shall prove that you cannot long remain away from me soon i shall see you although at this time satish had fully recovered from a sickness and was enjoying excellent health he died without apparent cause shortly after a strange remark before the photograph thus prophetically passed my dearly beloved eldest sister roma and her husband satish who had changed the dhakaswar from an ordinary worldly man to a silent saint end of chapter chapter 23 i receive my university degree you ignore your textbook assignments and philosophy no doubt you are depending on an unlaborious intuition to get you through the examination but unless you apply yourself in a more scholarly manner i shall see to it that you don't pass this course professor d.c gashel of saranpor college was addressing me sternly if i failed to pass his final written classroom test i would be ineligible to take the conclusive examinations these are formulated by the faculty of calcutta university which numbers serenpor college among its affiliated branches a student in indian universities who was unsuccessful in one subject in the a b finals must be examined anew in all his subjects the following year my instructors at saranpor college usually treated me with kindness not untinged by an amused tolerance mukunda is a bit over drunk with religion thus summing me up they tactfully spared me the embarrassment of answering classroom questions they trusted the final written test to eliminate me from the list of a b candidates the judgment passed by my fellow students was expressed in their nickname for me mad monk i took an ingenious step to nullify professor gauschel's threat to me of failure and philosophy when the results of the final test were about to be publicly announced i asked a classmate to accompany me to the professor's study come along i want a witness i told my companion i should be very disappointed if i have not succeeded in outwitting the instructor professor goshel shook his head after i inquired what rating he had given my paper you are not among those who have passed he said in triumph he hunted through a large pile on his desk your paper isn't here at all you have failed in any case through non-appearance at the examination i chuckled sir i was there may i look through the stack myself the professor nonplussed gave his permission i quickly found my paper where i had carefully admitted any identification mark except my roll call number unwarned by the red flag of my name the instructor had given a high reading to my answers even though they were unembellished by textbook quotations seen through my trick he now thundered sheer brazen luck he added hopefully you are sure to fail in the a b finals for the tests in my other subjects i received some coaching particularly from my dear friend and cousin provost chandra ghost son of my uncle sirada i staggered painfully but successfully with the lowest possible passing marks through all my final tests now after four years of college i was eligible to sit for the a b examinations nevertheless i hardly expected to avail myself of the privilege the siremport college finals were child's play compared to the stiff ones which would be set by calcutta university for the a b degree my almost daily visits to sri yakdeshwar had left me little time to enter the college halls there it was my presence rather than my absence that brought forth ejaculations of amazement for my classmates my customary routine was to set out on my bicycle about 9 30 in the morning in one hand i would carry an offering from my guru a few flowers from the garden of my ponte boarding house greeted me affably master would invite me to lunch i invariably accepted with alacrity glad to banish the thought of college for a day after hours of three years war listening to his incomparable flow of wisdom or helping with ashram duties i would reluctantly depart around midnight for the party occasionally i stayed all night with my guru so happily engrossed in this conversation that i scarcely noticed when darkness changed in the dawn one night around 11 o'clock as i was putting on my shoes in preparation for the ride to the boarding house master questioned me gravely when do you do your a b examination start five days hence sir i hope you are on readiness for them transfixed with alarm i held one shoe in the air sir i protested you know how my days have been passed with you rather than with the professors how can i enact a farce by appearing for those difficult finals shri yuktaswar's eyes were turned piercingly on me you must appear his tone was coldly preemptory he should not give cause for your father and other relatives to criticize your preferences for ash from life just promise me that you will be present for the examinations answer them the best way you can uncontrollable tears were coursing down my face i felt that master's command was unreasonable and that his interest was to say the least belated i will appear if you wish it i said amidst todd but no time remains for proper preparation under my breath i muttered i will fill up the sheets with your teachings and answer to the question when i entered the hermitage the following day at my usual hour i presented my bouquet with a certain mournful solemnity shri yuktoswar laughed at my we began air mukunda has the lord ever failed you at an examination or elsewhere no sir i responded warmly grateful memories came and ravify and flood not laziness but burning zeal for god has prevented you from seeking college honors my guru said kindly after a silence he quoted seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness and all these things shall be added on to you for the thousandth time i felt my burdens lifted in master's presence when we had finished our early lunch he suggested that i return to the ponte does your friend romish chandra dutt still live in your boarding house yes sir get in touch with him the lord will inspire him to help you with the examinations very well sir but romish is unusually busy he is the honor man in our class and carries a heavier course than the others master waved away my objections romish will find time for you now go i bicycle back to the ponte the first person i met in the boarding house compound was the scholarly romish as though his days were quite free he obligedly agreed to my diffident request of course i'm at your service he spent several hours that afternoon and succeeding days and coaching me in my various subjects i believe many questions in english literature will be centered in the route of chile harold he told me we must get an atlas at once i hastened to the home of my uncle serrada and borrowed an atlas romish marked the european map at the place visited by byron's romantic traveler a few classmates had gathered around to listen to the tutoring rolemash is advising you wrongly one of them commented to me at the end of the session usually only fifty percent of the questioner about the books the other half will involve the author's life when i sat for the examination in english literature the following day my first glance at the question caused tears of gratitude to pour forth wetting my paper the classroom monitor came to my desk and made a sympathetic inquiry my guru foretold the ramish would help me i exclaimed look the very questions dictated to be my romish are here on the examination sheet fortunately for me there are very few questions this year on english authors whose lives are wrapped in deep mysteries so far as i'm concerned my boarding house was in an uproar when i returned the boys who had been ridiculed romish method of coaching looked at me in awe almost deafening me with congratulations during the week of the examination i spent many hours with romish who formulated questions that he thought were likely to be set by the professors day by day romish's questions appeared in almost the same form on the examination sheet the news was widely circulated in the college that something resembling a miracle was occurring and that success seemed probable for the absent-minded mad monk i made no attempt to hide the facts of the case the local professors were powerless to alter the questions which had been arranged by calcutta university thinking over the examination and english literature i realized one morning that i had made a serious error one section of the questions can be divided into two parts of a b and c or d instead of answering one question from each part i had carelessly answered both questions in group 1 and had failed to consider anything in group 2. the best mark i could score in that paper would be a 33 three less than the passing mark of 36. i rushed the master and poured out my troubles sir i have made an unpardonable blunder i don't deserve the divine blessing through romish i am quite unworthy cheer up mukunda shri yuktoshwar's tone were light and unconcerned he pointed to the blue vault of the heavens it is more possible for the sun and the moon to interchange their positions in space than it is for you to fail on getting your degree i left the hermitage in a more tranquil mood though it seemed mathematically inconceivable that i could pass i looked once or twice apprehensively into the sky the lord of day appeared to be securely anchored in this customary orbit as i reached the ponte i overheard a class ranked remark i have just learned it this year for the first time the required passing mark in english literature has been lowered i entered the boy's room with such speed that he looked up an alarm i questioned him eagerly long-haired monk he said laughingly why this sudden interest in scholastic matters why cry in the 11th hour but it is true that the passing mark has just been lowered to 33 points a few joyous leaps took me into my own room where i sank to my knees and praised the mathematical perfection of my divine father every day i thrilled with the consciousness of a spiritual presence that i clearly felt to be guiding me through romish a significant incident occurred in connection with the examination in bengali roma she had touched little on that subject called me back one morning as i was leaving the boarding house on my way to the examination hall there is roma shouting for you a classmate said to me impatiently don't return we shall be laid at the hall ignore any advice i ran back to the house the bengali examination is usually easily passed by our bengali boys bamish told me but i have just had a hunch that this year the professors have planned to massacre the students by asking questions from our ancient literature my friend then briefly outlined two stories from the life of vijayasagar a renowned philanthropist i thanked romish and quickly bicycled to the college hall the examination sheet in bengali proved to contain two parts the first instruction write two instances of the charities of vidya oscar as i transferred to the paper the lore that i had so recently acquired i whispered a few words of thanksgiving that i had heeded romesh last minute summons had i been ignorant of the joshua's benefactions to mankind including ultimately itself i could not have passed the bengali examination failing in one subject i would have been forced to stand examination anew in all subjects the following year such a prospect was understandably abhorrent the second instruction on the sheet read write an essay in bengali on the life of the man who's most inspired you gentle reader i need to inform you what man i chose for my theme as i covered page after page with praise of my guru i smiled to realize that my muttered prediction was coming true i will fill up the sheets with your teaching i had not felt inclined to answer romesh about my course in philosophy trusting my long training under sri yakteshwar i safely disregarded the textbook explanation the highest mark given to any of my papers was the one in philosophy my score and all other subjects was just barely within the passing mark it is a pleasure to record that my unselfish friend romish received his own degree laude father was wreathed and smiles at my graduation i hardly thought you would pass makanda he confessed you spend so much time with your guru master had indeed correctly detected the unspoken criticism of my father for years i had been uncertain that i would ever see the day when an a b would follow my name i seldom use a title without reflecting that it was a divine gift conferred on me for reasons somewhat obscure occasionally i hear college men remarked that very of their cram knowledge remained with them after graduation that admission consoles me a bit for my undoubted academic deficiencies on the day i received my degree from calcutta university i knelt at my guru's feet and thanked him for all the blessings flowing from his life into mind get up mukunda he said indulgently the lord simply found it more convenient to make you a graduate then do a rearrange the sun and the moon end of chapter chapter 24 i become a monk of the swami order master my father has been anxious for me to accept an executive position with the bengal negro railroad but i have definitely refused it i added hopefully sir will you not make me a monk of the swami order i looked pleadingly at my guru during preceding years in order to test the depth of my determination he had refused this same request today however he smiled graciously very well tomorrow i will initiate you into swami ship he went on quietly i am happy that you have persisted in your desire to be a monk larry masha often said if you don't invite god to be your summer guest he won't come in the winter of your life dear master i could never falter in my goal to belong to the swami order like your revered self i smiled him with measureless affection he that is unmarried careth the things that belongs to the lord how he may please the lord but he that is married careth for the things of the world how he may please his wife i had analyzed the lives of many of my friends who after undergoing certain spiritual discipline had then married launched on the sea of worldly responsibilities they had forgotten their resolutions to meditate deeply to a lot god a secondary place in life was to me inconceivable though he is the sole owner of the cosmos silently showering us with gifts from life to life one thing yet remains which he does not own and which each human heart is empowered to withhold or bestow man's love the creator and taking infinite pains to shroud with mystery his presence and every atom of creation could have but one motive a sensitive desire that man seek him only through free will with what velvet glove of every humility has he not covered the iron hand of omnipotence the following day was one of the most memorable of my life it was sunny thursday i remember in 1914 july a few weeks after my graduation college on the inner balcony of his serenpor hermitage master dipped a new piece of white cloth into a dye of ochre the traditional color of the swami order after the color had dried my guru draped it around me as a renunciant's robe someday you will go to the west where silk is preferred he said as a symbol i have chosen few this silk material instead of the customary cotton in india where monks embrace their ideal of poverty a silk clad swami is an unusual sight many yogi solvers wear garments of silk which preserves certain subtle bodily currents better than cotton i am adverse to ceremonies sri yakushwa remarked i will make you a swami in the bidwad manner the bibidisa or elaborate initiation into swami ship includes a fire ceremony during which symbolic funeral rites are performed the physical body of the disciple is represented as dead cremated into the flame of wisdom the newly made swami is then given a chant such as this atma is brahma or thou art that or i am he shri yukteshwar however with his love of simplicity dispensed with all formal rights and merely asked me to select a new name i will give you the privilege of choosing it yourself he said smilingly yogananda replied after a moment's thought the name literally means bliss ananda through divine union yoga be its soul forsaking your family name of mukhanda lal gosh henceforth you shall be called yogananda of the giri branch of the swami order as i knelt before sri yukteswar and for the first time heard and pronounced my new name my heart overflowed with gratitude how lovingly and tirelessly had he labored that the boy mukund to be someday transformed into the monk yogananda i joyfully sang a few verses from the long sanskrit chant of lord shankara mind nor intellect nor ego feeling sky nor earth nor metals am i i am he i am he blessed spirit i am he no birth no death no cast have i father mother have i none i am he i am he blessed spirit i am he beyond the flights of fancy formless am i permeating the limbs of all life a bondage i do not fear i am free i am free i am he i am he blessed spirit i am he every swami belongs to the ancient monastic order which was organized in its present form by shankara because it is a formal order with an unbroken line of saintly representatives serving as active leaders no man can give himself a title of swami he rightfully receives it only from another swami all mocks thus trace their spiritual lineage to one common guru lord shankara by vows of poverty chastity and obedience to the spiritual teacher many catholic christian monastic orders resemble the order of swamis in addition to this new name usually ending in ananda the swami takes a title which indicates its formal connection with one of the ten subdivisions of the swami order these dasami's or ten eggnogments include the giri mountain to which sri yukteswar and henceforth myself belong among the other branches of the sagar sea bharati land aranya forest puri tract tirtha place of pilgrimage and saraswati wisdom of nature the new name received by a swami thus has a twofold significance and represents the attainment of supreme bliss ananda through some divine quality or state love wisdom devotion service yoga and through a harmony with nature as expressed in her infinite vastness of ocean mountains and skies the ideal of selfless service to all mankind in a renunciation of personal ties and ambitions leads the majority of swamis to engage actively in humanitarian and educational work in india or occasionally in foreign lands ignoring all prejudices of caste creed glass color sex or race a swami follows the precepts of human brotherhood his goal is absolute unity with the spirit imbuing his waking and sleeping consciousness with a thought i am he he roams contently in the world but not of it thus only may he justify his title of swami one who seeks to achieve union with the swa or self it is needless to add that not all formerly titled swamis are equally successful in reaching their high goals sri yakushwa was both a swami and a yogi a swami formerly a mocked by virtue of his connection with the ancient order is not always a yogi anyone who practices a scientific technique of god contact is a yogi he may be either married or unmarried either a worldly man or one of formal religious ties a swami may conceivably follow only the path of dry reasoning or cold renunciation but a yogi engages himself in a definite step-by-step procedure by which the body and mind are disciplined and the soul liberated taking nothing for granted on emotional grounds or by faith a yogi practices a thoroughly tested series of exercises which were first mapped out by the early rishis yoga has produced in every age of india men who are truly free truly yogi christ like any other science yoga is applicable to people of every climate and time the theory advanced by certain ignorant writers that yoga is unsuitable for westerners is wholly false and has lamentably prevented many sincere students from seeking its manifold blessing yoga is a method for restraining the natural turbulence of thoughts which otherwise impartially prevent all men of all lands from glimpsing their true nature of spirit yoga cannot know a barrier of east and west any more than there's a healing and equitable light of the sun so long as man possesses a mind with its restless thought so long will there be a universal need for yoga or control the ancient rishi patanjali defines yoga as control of the fluctuations of the mind stuff his very short and masterfully exposition the yoga sutras form one of the six systems of hindu philosophy in contradistinction to western philosophies all six hindu systems embody not only theoretical but practical teachings in addition to every conceivable ontological inquiry the sixth system formulates six definite disciplines aimed at the permanent removal of suffering and the attainment of timeless bliss the common thread linking all six systems is the declaration that no true freedom for man is possible without knowledge of the ultimate reality the later upanishads uphold the yoga suters among the six systems as containing the most efficacious method for achieving direct perception of truth through the practical techniques of yoga man leaves behind forever the barren realms of speculation and cognizance and experience the veritable essence the yoga system as outlined by patanjali is known as the yet full path the first steps one yama two niyama requires observance of ten negative and positive morality avoidance of injury to others of untruthfulness of stealing of incontinence of gift receiving which brings obligation and purity of body and mind contentment self-discipline study and devotion to god the next steps are asana a right posture the spinal column must be held straight and the body firm in a comfortable position for meditation for pranayama control of prana subtle life currents and five pratyahara withdrawal of the sentence from external objects the last steps are forms of yoga proper durana concentration holding the mind to one thought seven diana meditation eight samadhi super conscious perception this is the eightfold path of yoga which leads one to the final goal of kaivala absoluteness a term which might be more comprehensible put his realization of the truth beyond all intellectual apprehension which is greater one may ask a swami or a yogi if and when final oneness with god is achieved the distinction of the various path disappear the bhagavad-gita however points out that the methods of yoga are all embracive its techniques are not meant only for certain types and temperaments such as those few who incline toward the monastic life yoga requires no formal allegiance because the yogic science satisfies a universal need it is a natural universal applicability a true yogi may remain dutifully in the world there he is like butter on water and not like the easily diluted milk of unchurned and undisciplined humanity to fulfill one's earthly responsibilities is indeed the higher path providing the yogi maintaining the mental uninvolvement with egotistical desires plays his part as a willing instrument of god there are a number of great souls living in america or europe or other non-hindu bodies today who though they may never have heard the word yogi and swami are yet true exemplars of these terms through their disinterested service to mankind or through their mastery over passions and thoughts or through their single-hearted love of god or through their great powers of concentration they are in a sense yogis they have set themselves the goal of yoga self-control these men could raise to even greater heights if they were taught the definite science of yoga which makes possible a more conscious direction of one's mind and life yoga has been superficially misunderstood by certain western writers but its critics have never been as practitioners among many thoughtful tributes to yoga may be mentioned by carl jung the famous swiss psychologist when a religious method recommends itself as scientific it can be certain of its public in the west yoga fulfills this expectation dr young writes quite apart from the charm of the new and the fascination of the half understood there is good cause for yoga to have many adherents it offers the possibilities of controllable experiences and thus satisfies the scientific need of facts and besides this by reason of its breath and depth its venerable age its doctrine method which include every phase of life it promises undreamed of possibilities every religious or philosophical practice means a psychological discipline that is a method of mental hygiene the manifold purely bodily procedures of yoga also means a physiological hygiene which is superior to ordinary gymnastics and breathing exercises inasmuch as a not merely mechanizes and scientific but is also philosophical in its training on the parts of the body it unites him with the whole of the point as is quite clear for instance in the pranayama exercises where prana is both the breath and the universal dynamics of the cosmos when the thing which the individual is doing is also a cosmic event the effect experience in the body the innervation unites with the emotion of the spirit the universal idea and out of this there develops a lively unity which no techniques however scientific can produce yoga practice is unthinkable and would also be ineffectual without the conceptions of which yoga is based it combines the bodily and spiritual which each another way in an extraordinary complete way in the east where these ideas and practices have developed and where for several thousand years that unbroken tradition has created the necessary spiritual foundations yoga is as i can readily believe the perfect and appropriate method of fusing body and mind together so that they form a unity which is scarcely to be questioned this unity creates a psychological disposition which makes possible intuitions that transcend consciousness the western day is indeed nearing when the inner science of self-control will be found as necessary as the outer conquest of nature this new atomic age will see men's minds sobered and broadened by the now scientifically indisputable truth that matter is in reality a concentrate of energy finer forces of the human mind can and must liberate energies greater than those within stones and metals lest the material atomic giant newly unleashed turn on the world in mindless destruction end of chapter