Notes on 'The Power is Within You' by Louise Hay

[Music] hello this is Louise Hay and I&#39;m going to read to you my book the power is within you there is a great deal of information on this tape do not feel you have to absorb it all at once certain ideas will leap out at you work with those ideas first if I say anything that you disagree with just ignore it if you can get just one good idea out of this tape and use it to improve the quality of your life then I Feel Complete as you listen you will become aware that I use many terms such as power intelligence infinite mind higher power God Universal Power inner wisdom and so on this is done to show you that there is no limitation on what you choose to call that power that runs the universe and is also within you if any name disturbs you then substitute another that feels right for you this book was written as an extension of You Can Heal Your Life time has passed since the writing of that book and many new ideas have revealed themselves to me those ideas I wish to share with all of you who have been writing over the years asking for more information I feel an important thing to be aware of is that the power we are all seeking out there is also within us and readily available to us to use in positive ways may this tape reveal to you how very powerful you really are I am not a Healer I do not heal anyone I think of myself as a stepping stone on a pathway of self-discovery I create a space where people can learn how incredibly wonderful they are by teaching them how to love themselves that&#39;s all I do I&#39;m a person who supports people I help people take charge of their lives I help them discover their own power and inner wisdom and strengths I help them get the blocks and the barriers out of the way so they can love themselves no matter what circumstances they happen to be going through this doesn&#39;t mean that we will never have problems but it is how we react to the problem that makes a tremendous difference after years of individual counseling with clients and conducting hundreds of workshops and intensive training programs across the country and around the world I find that there is only one thing that seems to heal every problem and that is to love yourself when people start to love themselves more each day it&#39;s amazing how their lives get better they feel better they often get the jobs they want they have the money they need their relationships either improve or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin it&#39;s a very simple premise loving yourself I&#39;ve often been criticized for being too simplistic and yet I have found that the simple things are usually the most profound someone said to me recently you gave me the most wonderful gift you gave me the gift of myself so many of us hide from ourselves and we don&#39;t even know who we are we don&#39;t know what we feel we don&#39;t know what we want life is a voyage of self-discovery to me to be enlightened is to go within and to know who and what we really are and to know that we have the ability to change for the better by loving and taking care of ourselves it&#39;s not selfish to love ourselves it clears us so that we can love ourselves enough to love other people we can really help the planet when we come from a space of great love and joy on an individual basis power that created this Incredible Universe has often been referred to as love and God is love we have often heard the statement love makes the world go round it&#39;s all true love is The Binding agent that holds the whole universe together to me love is deep appreciation when I talk about loving ourselves I mean having a deep appreciation for Who We Are we accept all the different parts of ourselves our little peculiarities the embarrassments the things we may not do so well and all the wonderful qualities too we accept the whole package with love unconditionally unfortunately many of us will not love ourselves until we lose the weight or get the job or get the raise or the boyfriend or whatever we often put conditions on our love but we can change we can love ourselves as we are right now there is also a lack of Love on this planet as a whole I believe our whole planet has a dis-ease called AIDS and more and more people are dying every day this physical challenge has given us the opportunity to overcome barriers and to go beyond our morality standards and differences of religion and politics and to open our hearts the more of us who can do it the quicker we are going to find the answers we are in the midst of enormous individual and Global change I believe that all of us who are living at this time chose to be here to be a part of these changes to bring about change and to transform the world from the old way of life to a more loving and peaceful existence in the piscean age we looked out there for our savior save me save me please take care of me now we are moving into the Aquarian age and we are learning to go within to find our savior we are the power we have been seeking we are in charge of Our Lives if you are not willing to love yourself today then you are not going to love yourself tomorrow because whatever excuse you have today you&#39;ll still have tomorrow maybe you&#39;ll have the same excuse 20 years from now and even leave this lifetime holding on to the same excuse today is the day you can love yourself totally with no expectations I want to help create a world where it is safe for us to love each other where we can express who we are and be loved and accepted by the people around us without judgment criticism or prejudice loving begins at home the Bible says love thy neighbor as thyself far too often we forget the last couple of words as thyself we really can&#39;t love anyone out there unless the love starts inside us self-love is the most important gift we can give ourselves because when we love Who We Are we will not hurt ourselves and we will not hurt anyone else with inner peace there would be no Wars no gangs no terrorists and no homeless there would be no dis-ease no AIDS no cancer no poverty and no starvation so this to me is a prescription for World Peace to have peace within ourselves peace understanding compassion forgiveness and most of all love we have the power within us to affect these changes love is something we can choose same way we choose anger or hate or sadness we can choose love it&#39;s always a choice within us let&#39;s begin right now in this moment to choose love it&#39;s the most powerful healing Force there is the information on this tape which has been part of my lectures over the past five years is yet another stepping stone on your pathway to self-discovery an opportunity to know a little bit more about yourself and to understand the potential that is your Birthright you have an opportunity to love yourself more so you can be a part of an Incredible Universe of love love begins in our hearts and it begins with us Let Your Love contribute to the healing of our planet part one becoming conscious when we expand our thinking and beliefs our love flows freely when we contract we shut ourselves off chapter one The Power Within the more you connect to the power within you the more you can be free in all areas of your life who are you why are you here what are your beliefs about life for thousands of years finding the answers to these questions has meant going Within but what does that mean I believe there is a power within each of us that can lovingly direct us to our perfect health perfect relationships perfect careers and which can bring us prosperity of every kind in order to have these things we have to believe First that they are possible next we must be willing to release the patterns in our lives that are creating conditions we say we do not want we do this by going Within and tapping the inner power that already knows what is best for us if we are willing to turn our lives over to this greater power within us power that loves and sustains us we can create more loving and prosperous lives I believe that our minds are always connected to the one infinite mind and therefore all knowledge and wisdom is available to us at any time we are connected to this infinite mind this Universal Power that created us through that spark of Light Within our higher self or The Power Within the Universal Power loves all of its creations it is a power for good and it directs everything in our lives it doesn&#39;t know how to hate or lie or punish it is pure love Freedom understanding and compassion it is important to turn our lives over to our higher self because through it we receive our good we must understand that we have the choice to use this power in any way if we choose to live in the past and rehash all of the negative situations and conditions that went on way back when then we stay stuck where we are if we make a conscious decision not to be victims of the past and go about creating new lives for ourselves we are supported by this power within and new happier experiences begin to unfold I don&#39;t believe in two powers I think there is one infinite spirit it&#39;s all too easy to say it&#39;s the devil or them it really is only us and either we use the power we have wisely or we misuse the power do we have the devil in our hearts do we condemn others for being different than we are what are we choosing responsibility versus blame I also believe that we contribute toward the creation of every condition in our lives good or bad with our thinking feeling patterns the thoughts we think create our feelings and then we begin to live our lives in accordance with these feelings and beliefs this is not to blame ourselves for things going wrong in our lives there is a difference between being responsible and blaming ourselves or others when I talk about responsibility I am really talking about having power blame is about giving away one&#39;s power responsibility gives us the power to make changes in our lives if we play the victim role then we are using our personal power to be helpless if we decide to accept responsibility then we don&#39;t waste time blaming somebody or something out there some people feel guilty for creating illness or poverty or problems they choose to interpret responsibility as guilt and some members of the media like to refer to it as new age guilt these people often feel guilty because they believe that they have failed in some way however they usually accept everything as a guilt trip in one way or another because it&#39;s another way to make themselves wrong and that is not what I&#39;m talking about if we can use our problems and illnesses as opportunities to think about how we can change our lives we have power many people who come through catastrophic illnesses say that it was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to them because it gave them a chance to go about their lives differently a lot of people on the other hand go around saying I&#39;m a victim woe is me please doctor fix me I think these people will have a difficult time even getting well or handling their problems responsibility is our ability to respond to a situation we always have a choice it does not mean that we deny who we are and what we have in our lives it merely means that we can acknowledge that we have contributed to where we are by taking responsibility we have the power to change we can say what can I do to make this different we need to understand that we all have personal power all the time it depends on how we use it many of us are now realizing that we come from dysfunctional homes we carry over a lot of negative feelings about who we are and our relationship to life my childhood was filled with violence including sexual abuse I was starved for love and affection and had no self-esteem at all even after leaving home at the age of 15 I continued to experience abuse in many forms I hadn&#39;t yet realized that the thinking feeling patterns I had learned early in life had brought this abuse upon me children often respond to the mental atmosphere of the adults around them so I learned early about fear and abuse and continued to recreate those experiences for myself as I grew up I certainly didn&#39;t understand that I had the power to change all of this I was unmercifully hard on myself because I interpreted lack of love and affection to mean that I must be a bad person all of the events you have experienced in your lifetime up to this moment have been created by your thoughts and beliefs from the past let&#39;s not look back on our lives with shame look at the past as part of the richness and fullness of your life without this richness and fullness we would not be here today there is no reason to beat yourself up because you didn&#39;t do better you did the best you knew how release the past in love and be grateful that it has brought you to this new awareness the past only exists in our minds and in the way we choose to look at it in our minds this is the moment we are living this is the moment we are feeling this is the moment we are experiencing what we are doing right now is laying the groundwork for tomorrow so this is the moment to make the decision we can&#39;t do anything tomorrow and we can&#39;t do it yesterday we can only do it today what is important is what we are choosing to think believe and say right now when we begin to take conscious charge of our thoughts and words then we have tools that we can use I know this sounds simple but remember the point of power is always in the present moment it is important for you to understand that your mind is not in control you are in control of your mind the higher self is in control you can stop thinking those old thoughts when your old thinking tries to come back and say it&#39;s so hard to change take mental command say to your mind I now choose to believe it is becoming easy for me to make changes you may have this conversation with your mind several times before it acknowledges that you are in charge and that you really mean what you say imagine that your thoughts are like drops of water one thought or one drop of water does not mean very much as you continue to repeat the same thoughts over and over you first notice the stain on the carpet then there&#39;s a little puddle then a pond and as these thoughts continue they can become a lake and finally an ocean what kind of ocean are you creating one that is polluted and toxic and unfit to swim in or one that is crystal clear and blue and invites you to enjoy its refreshing Waters people often tell me I can&#39;t stop thinking a certain thought I always reply yes you can remember how often you have refused to think a positive thought you just want to tell your mind that that is what you are going to do you want to make up your mind stop thinking negatively I&#39;m not saying that you have to fight your thoughts when you want to change things when the negative thoughts come up simply say thank you for sharing in that way you are not denying what is there and you are not giving your power over to the negative thought tell yourself that you are not going to buy into the negativity anymore you want to create another way of thinking again you don&#39;t have to fight your thoughts acknowledge and go beyond them don&#39;t drown in a sea of your own negativity when you can float on the ocean of life you are meant to be a wonderful loving expression of life life is waiting for you to open up to it to feel worthy of the good it holds for you the wisdom and intelligence of the universe is yours to use life is here to support you trust the power within you to be there for you if you get scared it is helpful to become aware of your breath flows in and out of your body your breath the most precious substance of your life is freely given to you you have enough to last for as long as you shall live you accept this precious substance without even thinking and yet you doubt that life can supply you with the other necessities now is the time for you to learn about your own power and what you are capable of doing go Within and find out who you are we all have different opinions you have a right to yours and I have a right to mine no matter what goes on in the world the only thing you can work on is what is right for you you want to get in touch with your inner guidance because it is the wisdom that knows the answers for you it&#39;s not easy to listen to yourself when your friends and family are telling you what to do yet all the answers to all the questions you are ever going to ask are within you now and every time you say I don&#39;t know you shut the door to your own inner wisdom the messages you get from your higher self are positive and supportive of you if you start getting negative messages then you are working from ego and your human mind level and even perhaps your imagination although positive messages often come to us through our imagination and our dreams support yourself by making the right choices for you when in doubt ask yourself is this a decision that is loving for me is this right for me now you may make another decision at some later point a day a week or a month later but ask yourself these questions in each moment as we learn to love ourselves and Trust our higher power we become co-creators with the infinite Spirit of a loving world our love for ourselves moves us from being victims to being winners our love for ourselves attracts wonderful experiences to us have you ever noticed that people who feel good about themselves are naturally attractive they usually have a quality about them that is just wonderful they are happy with their lives things come to them easily and effortlessly I learned a long time ago that I am a being of Oneness with the presence and power of God knowing this that the wisdom and understanding of spirit resides Within Me and I know that I am therefore divinely guided in all my dealings with others just as all the stars and planets are in the perfect orbit I am also in my Divine Right order I may not understand everything with my limited human mind however on the cosmic level I know I am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing my present experience is a stepping stone to new awareness and new opportunities who are you what did you come here to learn what did you come here to teach we all have a unique purpose we are more than our personalities our problems our fears and our illnesses we are far more than our bodies we are all connected with everyone on the planet and with all of life we are all spirit light energy vibration and love and we all have the power to live our lives with purpose and meaning chapter 2. following my inner voice the thoughts we choose to think are the tools that we use to paint the canvas of Our Lives I remember when I first heard that I could change my life if I was willing to change my thinking it was quite a revolutionary idea to me I lived in New York and discovered the Church of religious science often people confuse the Church of religious science or science of mind which was founded by Ernest Holmes with the Christian Science Church founded by Mary Baker Eddie they all reflect new thought however they are different philosophies the science of mind has ministers and practitioners who carry on the teachings of the Church of religious science they were the very first people who told me that my thoughts shaped my future even though I didn&#39;t understand what they meant this concept touched what I call the inner ding within me that place of intuition that is referred to as the Voice Within over the years I&#39;ve learned to follow it because when that Ding goes yes even if it seems a crazy choice I know that it is right for me so these Concepts struck a chord in me something said yes they are right and then I began the adventure of learning how to change my thinking once I accepted the idea and said yes to it I went through the house I read a lot of books and my home became like many of yours filled with masses of spiritual and self-help books I went to classes for many years and I explored everything related to the subject I literally immersed myself in new thought philosophy a new way of thinking it was the first time that I had really studied in my life up until then I didn&#39;t believe in anything my mother was a lapsed Catholic and my stepfather was an atheist I had some strange idea that Christians either wore hair shirts or were eaten by lions and neither appealed to me I really delved into science of mind because that was an Avenue that was open for me at the time and I found it really wonderful at first it was sort of easy I grasped a few Concepts and I started to think and talk a little bit differently in those days I was a constant complainer and full of self-pity I just loved to wallow in the pits I didn&#39;t know that I was continually perpetuating more experiences in which to pity myself but then again I didn&#39;t know any better in those days gradually I found that I was no longer complaining quite so much I started to listen to what I said I became aware of my self-criticism and I tried to stop it I began to babble affirmations without quite knowing what they meant I started with the easy ones of course and a few small changes began to take place I got the green lights and the parking places and boy did I think I was Hot Stuff wow I thought I knew it all and I very soon became quite cocky and arrogant and dogmatic in my beliefs I felt I knew all the answers in hindsight it was really my way of feeling safe in this new area when we start to move away from some of our old rigid beliefs especially if we&#39;ve been previously in total control it can be very scary it was very frightening for me so I would grasp on to whatever would make me feel safe it was a beginning for me and I still had a long way to go and I still do like most of us I didn&#39;t always find the pathway easy and smooth because just babbling affirmations didn&#39;t work all the time and I couldn&#39;t understand why I asked myself what am I doing wrong see immediately I blamed myself was this one more example of me not being good enough that was a favored old belief of mine at the time my teacher Eric Pace would look at me and refer to the idea of resentment I didn&#39;t have the faintest idea what he was talking about resentment me surely I didn&#39;t have any resentments after all I was on my pathway I was spiritually perfect how little I could see myself then I continued doing the best I could in my life I studied metaphysics and spirituality and learned about myself as much as possible I grasped what I could and sometimes I applied it often we hear a lot of things and sometimes we grasp them but we don&#39;t always practice them time seemed to go by very quickly and at that point I had been studying signs of mine for about three years and had just become a practitioner of the church I began to teach the philosophy but I wondered why my students seemed to be floundering couldn&#39;t understand why they were so stuck in their problems I gave them so much good advice why weren&#39;t they using it and getting well it never dawned on me that I was speaking the truth more than I was living it I was like a parent who tells the child what to do but then does exactly the opposite then one day seemingly out of the blue I was diagnosed with vaginal cancer first I panicked like anyone else then I had doubts that all this stuff I was learning was valid it was a normal and natural reaction I thought to myself if I was clear and centered I wouldn&#39;t have the need to create the illness in hindsight I think when I was diagnosed I felt safe enough at that point to let the illness surface so that I could do something about it rather than having it be another hidden secret that I wouldn&#39;t know about until I was dead I Knew Too Much by then to hide from myself any longer I knew that cancer was a dis-ease of resentment that is held for a long time until it eats away at the body when we stifle our emotions inside of us they have to go somewhere in the body if we spend a lifetime stuffing things down they will eventually manifest somewhere in the body I became very aware that the resentment within me which my teacher had referred to so many times had to do with being a physically emotionally and sexually abused as a child naturally I would have resentment I was bitter and unforgiving of the past I had never done any work to change or release the bitterness and Let It Go when I left home it was all I could do to forget what had happened to me I thought I had put it behind me when in actuality I had simply buried it when I found my metaphysical pathway I covered up my feelings with a nice layer of spirituality and hid a lot of garbage inside me I put a wall around myself that kept me literally out of touch with my own feelings I didn&#39;t know who I was or where I was after my diagnosis the real inner work of Learning To Know Myself began thank God I had tools to use I knew I needed to go Within Myself if I was going to make any permanent changes yes the doctor could give me an operation and perhaps take care of my illness for the moment but if I didn&#39;t change the way I was using my thoughts and my words I&#39;d probably recreate it again it&#39;s always interesting to me to learn where in our bodies we put our cancers our diseases on which side of the body the left or the right the right side represents the masculine side from where we give out the left is the feminine side the receptive part from where we take in almost all of my life when anything went wrong it was always on the right side of my body it was where I stored all the resentment towards my stepfather and life I was no longer content to get green lights in parking places I knew I had to go much much deeper I realized that I was not really progressing in my life the way I wanted to because I hadn&#39;t really cleared out this old garbage from childhood and I wasn&#39;t living what I was teaching I had to recognize the inner child inside me and work with her my inner child needed help because she was still in great pain I quickly began a self-healing program in Earnest I concentrated totally on me and did Little Else I became very committed to getting well some of it was a little weird yet I did it anyway after all this was my life on the line it became almost a 24 hour a day job for the next six months I began reading and studying everything I could find out about alternative ways to heal cancer because I truly believed it could be done I did a nutritional cleansing program that detoxified my body from all the junk Foods I had eaten for years for months I seemed to be living on sprouts and pureed asparagus I know I had more to eat but that is what I remember the most I worked with my science of Mind Minister and teacher Eric Pace to clear the mental patterns so the cancer wouldn&#39;t return I said affirmations and did visualizations prayers and spiritual mind treatments I did daily sessions in front of a mirror the most difficult words to say were I love you I really love you it took a lot of tears and a lot of breathing to get through it when I did it was as if I took a Quantum Leap I also went to a good psychotherapist who was skilled in helping people Express and release their anger I spent a long period of time beating pillows and screaming it was wonderful it felt so good because I had never ever had permission to do that in my life I don&#39;t know which method worked maybe a little bit of everything worked most of all I was really consistent with what I did I practiced during all my waking hours I thanked myself before I went to sleep for what I had done during the day I affirm that my healing process was taking place in my body while I slept and that I would awaken in the morning bright and refreshed and feeling good in the morning I&#39;d awaken and thank myself and my body for the work that was done during the night I would affirm that I was willing to grow and learn each day and make changes without seeing myself as a bad person I also worked on understanding and forgiveness one of the ways was to explore my parents childhoods as much as I could I began to understand how they were treated as children and I realized that because of the way they were brought up they couldn&#39;t really have done anything differently than they did my stepfather was abused at home and he continued this abuse with his children my mother was brought up to believe that the man was always right and you stood by and let him do what he wanted no one taught them a different approach it was their way of life step by step my growing understanding of them enabled me to start the Forgiveness process the more I forgave my parents the more willing I was to forgive myself forgiveness of ourselves is enormously important many of us do the same damage to the inner child that our parents did to us we just continue the abuse and it&#39;s very sad when we were children and the other people mistreated us we didn&#39;t have many options but when we grow up and we still mistreat the inner child it&#39;s disastrous as I forgave myself I began to trust myself I found that when we don&#39;t trust life for other people it&#39;s really because we don&#39;t trust ourselves we don&#39;t trust our higher selves to take care of us in all situations so we say I&#39;ll never fall in love again because I don&#39;t want to get hurt or I&#39;ll never let this happen again we are really saying to ourself I don&#39;t trust you enough to take good care of me so I&#39;m going to stay away from everything eventually I began to trust myself enough to take care of me and I found it easier and easier to love myself once I trusted myself my body was healing and my heart was healing my real spiritual growth had come in such an unexpected way as a bonus I began to look younger the clients I now attracted were almost all people who were willing to work on themselves they made enormous progress without me really doing anything they could sense and feel that I was living the concepts I was teaching and it was easy for them to accept these ideas of course they had positive results they began to improve the quality of their lives once we began to make peace with ourselves on the inner level life seems to flow much more pleasantly so what did this experience teach me personally I realized that I had the power to change my life if I was willing to change my thinking and release the patterns that kept me living in the past this experience gave me the inner knowledge that if we are willing really willing to do the work the mental work we can make incredible changes in our minds our bodies and our lives no matter where you are in life no matter what you&#39;ve contributed to creating no matter what&#39;s happening you are always doing the best you can with the understanding and awareness and knowledge that you have and when you know more you will do it differently as I did don&#39;t berate yourself for Where You Are don&#39;t blame yourself for not doing it faster or better say to yourself I&#39;m doing the best I can and even though I&#39;m in a mess now I will get out of it somehow so let&#39;s find the best way to do it if all you do is tell yourself that you&#39;re stupid and no good then you stay stuck you need your own loving support if you want to make changes the methods I use are not my methods most of them I learned at science of mind which is what I basically teach yet these principles are as old as time if you read any of the old spiritual teachings you will find the same messages I am trained as a minister of the Church of religious science however I do not have a church I am a free spirit I express the teachings in simple language so that they may reach many people this path is a wonderful way of getting your head together and really understanding what life is all about and how you can use your own mind to take charge of your life when I started all this over 20 years ago I had no idea that I would be able to bring hope and help to the number of people that I do today chapter 3 the power of your spoken word every day declare for yourself what you want in life declare it as though you have it the law of mind there is a law of gravity and there are several other physical laws like physics and electricity most of which I don&#39;t understand there are also spiritual laws like the law of cause and effect what you give out comes back there is also a law of mind I don&#39;t know how it works in much the same way that I don&#39;t know how electricity works I only know that when I flick the switch the light comes on I believe that when we think of thought or when we speak a word or a sentence it somehow goes out from us into a law of mind and comes back to us as experience we are now beginning to learn the correlation between the mental and the physical we are beginning to understand how the mind works and that our thoughts are creative our thoughts speed through our minds very quickly so it is difficult to shape them at first our mouths on the other hand are slower so if we can start editing our speech by listening to what we say and not letting negative things come out of our mouths then we can begin to shape and control our thoughts there is tremendous power in our spoken words and many of us are not aware just how important they are let us consider words as the foundation of what we continually create in our lives we use words all the time yet we Babble away seldom thinking about what we are truly saying or how we are saying it we pay very little attention to the selection of our words in fact most of us speak in negatives as children we were taught grammar we were taught to select words according to these rules of grammar however I have always found that the rules of grammar continually change and what was improper at one time is proper at another time or vice versa what was slang in the past is considered common usage in the present however grammar does not take into consideration the meaning of words and how they affect our lives on the other hand I was not taught in school that my choice of words would have anything to do with what I would experience in life no one taught me that my thoughts were creative or that they could literally shape my life nobody taught me that what I gave out in the form of words would return to me as experiences the purpose of the golden rule was to show us a very basic law of Life do unto others as you would have them do unto you or what you give out comes back to you it was never meant to cause guilt no one ever taught me that I was worth loving or that I deserved good and nobody taught me that life was here to support me I remember that as children we would often call each other cruel and hurtful names and try to belittle one another but why did we do that where did we learn such Behavior look at what we were taught many of us were told repeatedly by our parents or teachers that we were stupid or dumb or lazy we were a nuisance and not good enough sometimes we heard our parents say that they wished we had never been born maybe we cringed when we heard these words but little did we realize how deeply embedded the hurt and pain would become changing our self-talk too often we accepted the early messages that our parents gave us we heard Eat Your Spinach clean your room or make your bed in order to be loved you got the idea that you were only acceptable if you did certain things that acceptance and love were conditional however that was according to somebody&#39;s idea of what was worthwhile and had nothing to do with your deep inner self-worth you got the idea that you could only exist if you did these things to please others otherwise you did not have permission to even exist these early messages contribute to what I call our self-talk the way we talk to ourselves the way we talk to ourselves inwardly is really important because it becomes the basis of our spoken words it sets up the mental atmosphere in which we operate and which attracts to us our experiences if we belittle ourselves life is going to mean very little to us if we love and appreciate ourselves then life can be a wonderful joyous gift if our lives are unhappy or if we are feeling unfulfilled it&#39;s very easy to blame our parents or them and say it&#39;s all their fault however if we do we stay stuck in our conditions our problems and our frustrations words of blame will not bring us freedom remember there is a power in our words again our power comes from taking responsibility for our lives I know it sounds scary to be responsible for our lives but we really are whether we accept it or not if we want to be responsible for our lives we&#39;ve got to be responsible for our mouths the words and phrases we say are only extensions of our thoughts start to listen to what you say if you hear yourself using negative or limiting words change them if I hear a negative story I don&#39;t go around repeating it to everyone I think it has gone far enough and I let it go if I hear a positive story however I will tell everyone when you are out with other people begin to listen to what they say and how they say it see if you can connect what they say with what they are experiencing in life many many people live their lives in shoulds should is a word that my ear is very attuned to it is as if a bell goes off every time I hear it often I will hear people use a dozen shoulds in a paragraph these same people wonder why their lives are so rigid or why they can&#39;t move out of a situation they want a lot of control over things that they cannot control they are either making themselves wrong or making someone else wrong and then they question why they aren&#39;t living lives of freedom we can also remove the expression have to from our vocabulary and our thinking as well when we do we will release a lot of self-imposed pressure on ourselves we create tremendous pressure by saying I have to go to work I have to do this I have to I have to instead let&#39;s begin to say choose to I choose to go to work because it pays the rent right now or whatever come from Choice choose to puts a whole different perspective on our lives everything we do is by choice even though it may not seem to be so a lot of us also use the word but we make statements then we say but which heads Us in two different directions we give conflicting messages to ourselves listen to how you use the word but the next time you speak another expression we could be mindful of is don&#39;t forget we are so used to saying don&#39;t forget this or that and what happens we forget we really want to remember and instead we forget so we can begin to use the phrase please remember in place of don&#39;t forget or I will always remember instead of I will never forget when you wake up in the morning do you curse the fact that you have to go to work do you complain about the weather do you Grumble at your back or your head hurts what is the second and third thing you think or say do you yell at the children to get up most people say more or less the same thing every morning how does what you say start your day is it positive and cheerful and wonderful or is it whining and condemning if you Grumble and complain and moan you&#39;re setting yourself up for just such a day what are your last thoughts before going to bed are they powerful healing thoughts or poverty worry thoughts when I speak of poverty thoughts I don&#39;t mean only about the lack of money it can be a negative way of thinking about anything in your life any part of your life that is not flowing freely do you worry about tomorrow usually I will read something positive before I go to sleep I am aware that when I sleep I am doing a lot of clearing that will prepare me for the next day I find it very helpful to turn over to my dreams any problems or questions I may have I know my dreams will help me take care of whatever is going on in my life I am the only person who can think in my mind just like you are the only person who can think in your mind nobody can force us to think in a different way we choose our thoughts and these are the basis for our self-talk as I experienced how this process worked more in my life I began to live more of what I was teaching others I really watched my words and my thoughts and I constantly forgave myself for not being perfect I allowed myself to be me rather than struggling to be a super person who may only be acceptable in others eyes when I began for the first time to trust life and to see it as a friendly place I lightened up my humor became less biting and more truly funny I worked on releasing criticism and Judgment of myself and other people and I stopped telling disaster stories we are so quick to spread bad news it&#39;s just amazing I stopped reading the newspaper and gave up the 11 o&#39;clock news at night because all the reports were concerned with disaster and violence and very little good news I realized that most people don&#39;t want to hear good news they love to hear bad news so that they have something to complain about too many of us keep recycling the negative stories until we believe that there is only bad in the world for a while there was a radio station that broadcast only good news but it went out of business when I had my cancer I decided to stop gossiping and to my surprise I found I had nothing to say to anyone I became aware that whenever I met a friend I would immediately dish the latest dirt with them eventually I discovered there were other ways of talking although it wasn&#39;t an easy habit to break nonetheless if I gossiped about other people then other people probably gossiped about me because what we give out we get back as I worked more and more with people I really began to listen to what they said I really began to hear the words not just get the general drift usually after 10 minutes with a new client I could tell exactly why they had a problem because I could hear the words they were using I could understand them by the way they were talking I knew that their words were contributing to their problems if they were talking negatively imagine what their self-talk was like it must be more of the same negative programming poverty thinking as I called it a little exercise I suggest you do is to put a tape recorder by your telephone and every time you make or get a call Push the record button when the tape is full on both sides listen to what you&#39;ve been saying and how you say it you will probably be amazed you will begin to hear the words you use and the inflection of your voice you will begin to become aware if you find yourself saying something three times or more write it down because it is a pattern some of the patterns may be positive and supportive and you may also have some very negative patterns that you repeat over and over and over again the power of the subconscious mind in light of what I&#39;ve been speaking of I want to discuss the power of our subconscious Minds our subconscious Minds make no judgments the subconscious mind accepts everything we say and creates according to our beliefs it always says yes our subconscious minds love us enough to give us what we declare we have choice though if we choose these poverty beliefs and Concepts then it is assumed that we want them it will continue to give us these things until we are willing to change our thoughts and words and beliefs for the better we are never stuck because we can always choose again there are billions and billions of thoughts from which to choose our subconscious Minds don&#39;t know true from false or right from wrong we don&#39;t want to deprecate ourselves in any way we don&#39;t want to say something like oh stupid old me because the subconscious mind will pick up this self-talk and after a while you will feel that way if you say it enough times it will become a belief in your subconscious the subconscious mind has no sense of humor and it is important for you to know and understand this concept you cannot make a joke about yourself and think it doesn&#39;t mean anything if it is a put down about yourself even if you&#39;re trying to be cute or funny about it the subconscious mind accepts it as true I don&#39;t let people tell put down jokes in my workshops they can be raunchy but not put Downs of a nationality or sex or whatever so don&#39;t joke about yourself and make derogatory remarks about yourself because they will not create good experiences for you don&#39;t belittle others either the subconscious mind doesn&#39;t distinguish between you and the other person it hears the words and it believes you are talking about yourself the next time you want to criticize someone ask why you feel that way about yourself you only see in others what you see in yourself instead of criticizing others praise them and within a month you will see enormous change within you our words are really a matter of approach and attitude notice the way that lonely unhappy poor sick people talk what words do they use what have they accepted as the truth for themselves how do they describe themselves how do they describe their work their lives their relationships what do they look forward to be aware of their words but please don&#39;t run around telling strangers that they are ruining their lives by the way they talk don&#39;t do it to your family and friends either because the information will not be appreciated instead use this information to begin to make the connection for yourself and practice it if you want your life to change because even on the smallest level if you change the way you talk your experiences are going to change if you are a person with an illness who believes that it is fatal and that you&#39;re going to die and that life is no good because nothing ever works for you then guess what you can choose to release your negative concept of life start affirming for yourself that you are a person who is lovable and that you are worth healing and that you attract everything you need on the physical level to contribute to your healing know that you are willing to get well and that it is safe for you to get well many people only feel safe when they are sick they are usually the kind that have difficulty saying the word no the only way they can say no is by saying I&#39;m too sick to do it it&#39;s a perfect excuse I remember a woman at one of my workshops who had three cancer operations she couldn&#39;t say no to anybody her father was a doctor and she was Daddy&#39;s good little girl so whatever daddy told her to do she did it was impossible for her to say no no matter what you asked her she had to say yes it took four days to get her to literally shriek no at the top of her lungs I had her do it while shaking her fist no no no no and once she got into it she loved it I find that many women with breast cancer can&#39;t say no they nourish everybody except themselves one of the things I recommend to a woman with breast cancer is that she must learn to say no no I don&#39;t want to do it no two or three months of saying no to everything and everyone will begin to turn things around she needs to nourish herself by saying this is what I want to do not what you want me to do when I used to work with clients privately I would hear them argue on behalf of their limitations and they would always want me to know why they were stuck because of one reason or another if we believe we are stuck and accept that we are stuck then we are stuck we get stuck because our negative beliefs are being fulfilled instead let&#39;s begin to focus on our strengths many of you tell me that my tape saved your lives I want you to realize that no book or tape is going to save you a little piece of tape in a plastic box is not saving your life what you are doing with the information is what matters I can give you plenty of ideas yet what you do with them is going to count I suggest that you listen to a particular tape over and over again for a month or more so that the ideas become a new habit pattern I&#39;m not your healer or savior the only person who&#39;s going to make a change in your life is you now what are the messages you want to hear I know I say this over and over again loving yourself is the most important thing you can do because when you love yourself you&#39;re not going to hurt yourself or anyone else it&#39;s my prescription for World Peace if I don&#39;t hurt me and I don&#39;t hurt you how can we have War the more of us who can get to that place the better the planet will be let&#39;s begin to be conscious of what is going on by listening to the words we speak to ourselves and to others then we can begin to make the changes that will help heal ourselves as well as the rest of the planet chapter 4 reprogramming old tapes be willing to take the first step no matter how small it is concentrate on the fact that you are willing to learn absolute Miracles will happen affirmations do work now that we understand a little bit more about how powerful our thoughts and words are we can choose to retrain our thinking and speaking into positive patterns if we&#39;re going to get beneficial results are you willing to change your self-talk into positive affirmations remember every time you think a thought and every time you speak a word you are saying an affirmation an affirmation is a beginning point it opens the way to change in essence you are saying to your subconscious mind I am taking responsibility I am aware that there is something I can do to change when I talk about doing affirmations I mean to consciously choose sentences or words that will either help to eliminate something from your life or help to create something new in your life and you do this in a positive way if you say I don&#39;t want to be sick anymore the subconscious mind hears sick more now you want to tell it clearly what you do want that is say I am a healthy person I radiate good health the subconscious mind is very straightforward it has no strategy or designs what it hears is what it does if you say I hate this car it doesn&#39;t give you a wonderful new car because it doesn&#39;t know what you want even if you get a new car you will probably hate it soon because that is what you&#39;ve been saying about it the subconscious only hears hate this car you need to clearly declare your desires in a positive way as in I have a beautiful new car that suits all my needs or I always have a car that I love if there is something in your life that you really dislike I have found one of the quickest ways to release it is to bless it with love I bless you with love and I release you and let you go this works for people situations objects and living quarters you could even try it on a habit you would like to be free of and see what happens I knew one man who said I bless you with love and release you from my life to every cigarette he smoked after a few days his desire for smoking was considerably less and in a few weeks The Habit was gone you deserve good think for a moment what is it you really want right now what is it you want today in your life think about it and then say I accept for myself whatever it is that you want this is where I find that most of us get stuck the bottom line is the belief that we don&#39;t deserve to have what we want our personal power lies in the way we perceive our deservability our not deserving comes from childhood messages again we don&#39;t have to feel that we cannot change because of these messages often people will come to me and say Louise affirmations don&#39;t work it really has nothing to do with affirmations it is the fact that we don&#39;t believe we deserve the good the way to find out if you believe that you deserve something is to say an affirmation and notice the thoughts that come up as you say it then write them down because when you see these thoughts on paper they will be very clear to you the only thing that keeps you from deserving or loving yourself or whatever is someone else&#39;s belief or opinion that you have accepted as truth when we don&#39;t believe that we deserve good we will knock the pinnings out from under ourselves which we can do in a variety of ways we can create chaos we can lose things we can hurt ourselves or have physical problems like falling or have accidents we want to start believing that we deserve all the good that life has to offer in order to reprogram the false or negative belief what would be the first thought that you would need to begin to create this new whatever in your life what would be the building block or the foundation that you would need to stand on what would be the sort of thing that you would need to know for yourself to believe to accept some good thoughts to start with could be I am worthwhile I am deserving I love myself I allow myself to be fulfilled Etc these Concepts form the very basis of beliefs on which you can build do your affirmations on top of these building blocks to create what you want whenever I speak somewhere someone will come up to me at the end of the lecture or will write me a letter and tell me that he or she has had a healing take place while they were in the room sometimes it&#39;s very minor and sometimes it&#39;s quite dramatic a woman came up to me once and told me that she had had a lump in her breast and it literally disappeared during the lecture she heard something and she decided to let something go this is a good example of how powerful we are when we are not ready to let something go when we really want to hold on to something because it&#39;s serving Us in some way it doesn&#39;t matter what we do it probably won&#39;t work however when we are ready to let it go as this woman was it&#39;s amazing how the smallest circumstance can help us release it if you still have a habit that you haven&#39;t released ask yourself how it serves you what do you get out of it if you can&#39;t get an answer ask in a different way if I no longer had this habit what would happen very often the answer is my life would be better so it comes back to the fact that we believe we don&#39;t deserve a better life in some way ordering from the cosmic kitchen when you first say an affirmation it may not seem true but remember affirmations are like planting seeds in the ground when you put a seed in the ground you don&#39;t get a full-grown plant the next day we need to be patient during the growing season as you continue to say the affirmation either you will be ready to release whatever you don&#39;t want and the affirmation will become true or it will open a new Avenue to you or you may get a brilliant brainstorm or a friend may call you and say have you tried this you will be led to the next step that will help you keep your affirmations in the present tense you can sing them and make a jingle out of them so that they repeat over and over in your head remember that you cannot affect a specific person&#39;s actions with your affirmations to affirm that John is now in love with me is a form of manipulation and it is trying to have control over another person&#39;s life it will usually have a boomerang effect on you you will become very unhappy when you don&#39;t get what you want you can say I am now loved by a wonderful man who is and lists the qualities that you want in the relationship that way you allow the power within you to bring to you the perfect person to fill that bill who may possibly be John you don&#39;t know what another person&#39;s spiritual lesson is and you don&#39;t have a right to interfere in their life process you certainly wouldn&#39;t want someone else doing it to you if someone is ill bless them and send them love and peace but don&#39;t demand that they get well I like to think of doing affirmations as placing our order in the cosmic kitchen if you go to a restaurant and the waiter or waitress comes and takes your order you don&#39;t follow them into the kitchen to see if the chef got the order or how he&#39;s going to prepare the food you sit and drink water or coffee or tea or you talk to your friend and maybe Eat Your Role you assume that your food is being prepared and will be out when it&#39;s ready it&#39;s the same when we begin to do affirmations when we put our order into the cosmic kitchen the great chef our higher power is working on it so you go on with your life and know that it is being taken care of it&#39;s on order it&#39;s happening now if the food comes out and it isn&#39;t exactly what you ordered and if you have self-esteem you will send it back if not you will eat it you also have a right to do that with the cosmic kitchen if you don&#39;t get exactly what you want you can say no that&#39;s not quite it this is what I want perhaps you weren&#39;t clear in your ordering the idea here too is to let go at the end of my treatments and meditations I use the words and so it is it&#39;s a way of saying higher power it&#39;s in your hands now I release it to you reprogramming the subconscious mind the thoughts we think accumulate and when we are unaware the old thought resurfaces when we are reprogramming our minds it is normal and natural that we go a little forward we come a little back and we go a little forward again it&#39;s part of practicing I don&#39;t think there is any new skill that you can learn absolutely a hundred percent in the first few minutes do you remember when you first learned how to use a computer how frustrating it was it took practice you had to learn how it worked to learn its laws and systems I called my first computer my magic lady for when I mastered her rules she did indeed deliver what seemed like magic to me yet while I was learning the way she would teach me I was off track or going in the wrong direction was to devour pages of work that I would then have to do all over again out of all the mistakes I learned how to flow with the system to flow with the system of life you want to become aware that your subconscious mind is like a computer garbage in garbage out if you put negative thoughts in then negative experiences come out yes it takes time and practice to learn the new ways of thinking be patient with yourself when you are learning something new and the old pattern returns are you going to say oh I didn&#39;t learn anything or are you going to say okay that&#39;s all right come on let&#39;s do it again the new way or say you cleared an issue and think you&#39;ll never have to deal with it again how do you know if you&#39;ve really worked it through unless you test yourself so you bring up the Old Situation one more time and watch how you react if you jump right back into the old way of reacting to it then you know you haven&#39;t really learned that particular lesson and you need to do more work on it that&#39;s all it means you want to realize it&#39;s only a little test to see how far you&#39;ve come if you begin to repeat your affirmations the new statements of truth about yourself you give yourself an opportunity to react differently whether it&#39;s a health problem a financial one or a relationship difficulty if you react in a new way to the situation then you&#39;re on your way to having another issue handled and you can move on to other areas remember too that we work on layers at a time you can reach a plateau and think I&#39;ve done it and then later on some old issue resurfaces and you may injure yourself or get sick and you don&#39;t get better for some time look to see what the underlying beliefs are it may mean that you have some more work to do because you are going to the next deeper layer don&#39;t feel that you&#39;re not good enough because something you&#39;ve worked to clear comes up again when I discovered that I was not a bad person because once again I was facing an old issue it became much easier for me to keep going I learned to say to myself Louise you&#39;re doing very well look how far you have come you just need more practice and I love you I believe that each one of us decides to Incarnate upon this planet at particular points in time and space we have chosen to come here to learn a particular lesson that will advance us on our spiritual evolutionary pathway one of the ways to allow the process of life to unfold for you in a positive healthy way is to declare your own personal truths choose to move away from the limiting beliefs that have been denying you the benefits you so desire declare that your negative thought patterns will be erased from your mind let go of your fears and burdens for a long time now I have been believing the following ideas and they have worked for me everything I need to know is revealed to me everything I need comes to me in the perfect time space sequence life is a joy and filled with love I am loving and lovable and loved I am healthy and filled with energy I Prosper wherever I turn I am willing to change and to grow and all is well in my world I have learned that we don&#39;t always stay positive 100 of the time and I include myself in this knowledge as much as possible I see Life as a wonderful joyous experience I believe that I am safe I have made it a personal law for me I believe that everything I need to know is revealed to me so I need to keep my eyes and ears open when I had cancer I remember thinking that a foot reflexologist would be very helpful to me one evening I went to a lecture of some sort usually I sit in the front row because I like being close to the speaker however that night I was compelled to sit in the back row and right after I sat down a foot reflexologist sat next to me we began to talk and I learned that he even made house calls I didn&#39;t have to look for him he came to me I also believe that whatever I need comes to me in the perfect time space sequence when something goes wrong in my life I immediately start to think all is well it&#39;s okay I know that this is all right it&#39;s a lesson it&#39;s an experience and I&#39;ll pass through it there is something here that is for my highest good all is well just breathe it&#39;s okay and I do the best I can to calm myself so I can think rationally about whatever is going on and of course I do work through everything it may take a little time but sometimes things that seem to be great disasters really turn out to be quite good in the end or at least not the disasters that they seem to be in the beginning every event is a learning experience I do a lot of positive self-talk morning noon and night I come from a loving space of the heart and I practice loving myself and others as much as I possibly can my capacity to love expands all the time what I do today is much more than I was doing six months or a year ago I know a year from now my Consciousness and my heart will have expanded and I&#39;ll be doing even more I know that what I believe about myself becomes true for me so I choose to believe wonderful things about myself there was a time when I didn&#39;t so I know I have grown and I continue to work on myself I also believe in meditation to me meditation is when we sit down and turn off our dialogue long enough to hear our own inner wisdom when I meditate I usually close my eyes take a deep breath and ask what is it I need to know I sit and listen I might also ask what is it I need to learn or what is the lesson in this sometimes we think we&#39;re supposed to fix everything in our lives and maybe we&#39;re really only supposed to learn something from the situation I remember when I first began to meditate I had violent headaches for the first three weeks meditation was so unfamiliar and against all my usual inner programming nevertheless I hung in there and the headaches eventually disappeared if you are constantly coming up with a tremendous amount of negativity when you meditate it may mean that it needs to come up and when you quiet yourself it starts to flow to the surface simply see the negativity being released try not to fight it allow it to continue as long as it needs to if you fall asleep when you meditate that&#39;s all right too let the body do what it needs to do it will balance out in time reprogramming your negative beliefs is very powerful a good way to do it is by making a tape with your own voice saying your affirmations play it as you go to sleep it will have a great deal of value for you because you will be listening to your own voice an even more powerful tape would be your mother&#39;s voice telling you how wonderful you are and how much she loves you once you have the tape it&#39;s good to relax the body before you begin reprogramming some people like to start with the tips of their toes and move to the top of their head tensing and relaxing however you do it breathe and release the tension let the emotions go get to a state of openness and receptivity the more relaxed you are the easier it is to receive the new information remember you are always in charge and you are always safe it&#39;s wonderful to listen to tapes or read self-awareness books and do your affirmations but what are you doing for the other 23 hours or so a day you see that is what really matters if you sit down and meditate and then get up and rush to work and scream at somebody that counts too meditations and affirmations are wonderful yet what you do at other times are just as important treat doubt as a friendly reminder I&#39;m often asked questions about whether people are doing affirmations correctly or whether they are even working and about doubt I&#39;d like you to think of Doubt a little differently than you may have been I believe that the subconscious mind resides in the solar plexus area of the body where you carry those gut feelings when something sudden happens don&#39;t you immediately get a strong feeling in your gut it is where you take everything in and store it ever since we were little children every message we have received everything we have done all the experiences we have had all that we have said have all gone into the filing cabinets right there in the solar plexus area I like to think that there are little Messengers in there and when we think thoughts or have experiences the messages go in and The Messengers file them in the appropriate files for many of us we have been building up files labeled I&#39;m not good enough I&#39;ll never make it I don&#39;t do it right we have gotten absolutely buried under these files suddenly we do a few affirmations such as I&#39;m wonderful and I love myself and The Messengers pick them up and say what&#39;s this where does it go we&#39;ve never seen this one before so The Messengers call doubt doubt come over here and see what&#39;s going on so doubt picks up the message and asks the conscious mind what&#39;s this you&#39;ve always been saying the other things and on a conscious level we can react in two ways we can say oh you&#39;re right I&#39;m terrible I&#39;m no good I&#39;m sorry that&#39;s not the right message and go back to our old ways or we can say to doubt that was the old message I have no need for it now this is the new message tell doubt to start a new file because there will be lots of these loving messages coming through from now on learn to treat doubt as a friend not the enemy and thank it for questioning you use it to strengthen your new beliefs it doesn&#39;t matter what work you do in this world doesn&#39;t matter if you are a bank president or a dishwasher a housewife or a sailor you have wisdom inside of you that is connected to universal truth when you are willing to look within and ask a simple question such as what is this experience trying to teach me and if you are willing to listen then you will have the answer most of us are so busy running around creating the soap opera and drama we call Our Lives that we don&#39;t hear anything don&#39;t give your power over to other people&#39;s pictures of right and wrong they only have power over us when we give our power to them groups of people give their power over to others it happens in a lot of cultures women in our culture often give their power to men they say things like my husband won&#39;t allow me to well that&#39;s certainly giving your power away if you believe it you box yourself into a place where you can&#39;t do anything unless you are given permission by another person who do you give your power to the more open-minded you are the more you learn and the more you can grow and change a woman once shared with me that when she got married she was very unassertive because that was the way she was brought up it took years for her to realize that her conditioning kept her locked in a corner she blamed everyone her husband and her in-laws for her problems eventually she divorced her husband however she still blamed him for so many things that were not right in her life it took her 10 years to relearn her patterns and to take her power back in hindsight she realized that she was responsible for not speaking up and for not standing up for herself not her husband or her in-laws they were there to reflect back to her what she felt inside a sense of powerlessness don&#39;t give your power away based on what you read either I remember years ago I read some articles in a well-known magazine and I happened to know something about each subject described in the Articles and in my opinion the information was totally erroneous the magazine lost all credibility for me and I didn&#39;t read it again for many years you are the authority in your life so don&#39;t think that because something is in print that it&#39;s always the truth inspirational speaker Terry Cole Whitaker wrote a wonderful book called what you think of me is none of my business it&#39;s true what you think of me is none of my business it&#39;s your business in the end what you think of me is going out from you in vibrations and will come back to you when we have illumination when we become conscious of what we are doing we can begin to change our lives life is really here for you you need only ask tell life what you want and then allow the good to happen part two dissolving the barriers we want to know what is going on inside us so we can know what to let go instead of hiding our pain we can release it totally chapter 5 understanding the blocks that bind you chronic patterns of self-hate guilt and self-criticism raise the body&#39;s stress levels and weaken the immune system now that we understand a little more about the power that we have within us let&#39;s take a look at what keeps us from using it I think that almost all of us have barriers of some kind or another even when we do a lot of work on ourselves and clear out the blocks new layers of old barriers still keep coming up many of us feel so flawed that we believe that we are not good enough and never will be again if we find something wrong with us then we are going to find something wrong with other people as well if we are still continuing to say I can&#39;t do this because my mother said or my father did then we have not yet grown up so now you want to let your barriers go and perhaps learn something different that you didn&#39;t know before now perhaps one sentence here will trigger a new thought can you imagine how wonderful it would be if every day you learned a new idea that would help you let go of the past and create Harmony in your life when you become aware and understand the individual process of life you will know what direction to take if you put your energies into learning something about yourself you will eventually see those problems and issues that you need to dissolve we all have challenges in life everybody does nobody goes through life without them otherwise what would be the purpose of coming to this particular school called Earth for some there are health challenges and for other people there are relationship challenges or career or financial challenges some have a little or a lot of everything I think one of our biggest problems is that most of us haven&#39;t the faintest idea of what it is we want to let go we know that it&#39;s not working and we know what we want in our life yet we don&#39;t know what&#39;s holding us back so let&#39;s take time to look at the blocks that bind us if you think for a moment about your own patterns and problems and the things that hold you back which categories do they fall into criticism fear guilt or resentment I call these categories the Big Four which is your favorite one mine was a combination of criticism and resentment maybe you are like me and have two or three is it fear that always comes up or guilt are you very very critical or resentful let me point out that resentment is anger that is stuffed down so if you believe you are not allowed to express your anger then you have stored a lot of resentment we cannot deny our feelings we cannot conveniently ignore them when I had my cancer diagnosis I had to look very clearly at myself I had to acknowledge some nonsense that I didn&#39;t want to admit about myself for instance I was a very resentful person and I carried a lot of bitterness from the past I said Louise you have no time to indulge in that anymore you really must change or as Peter McWilliams says you can no longer afford the luxury of a negative thought your experiences always reflect your inner beliefs you can literally look at your experiences and determine what your beliefs are maybe it&#39;s disturbing to consider but if you look at the people in your life they are all mirroring some belief you have about yourself if you are always being criticized at work it is probably because you are critical and have become the parent who once criticized the child everything in our lives is a mirror of Who We Are when something is happening out there that is not comfortable we have an opportunity to look inside and say how am I contributing to this experience what is it within me that believes I deserve this we all have family patterns and it is very easy for us to blame our parents or our childhood or our environment but that keeps us stuck we don&#39;t become free we remain victims and we perpetrate the same problems over and over again so it really doesn&#39;t matter what anybody else did to you or what they taught you in the past today is a new day you are now in charge now is the moment in which you are creating the future in your life and your world it really doesn&#39;t matter what I say either because only you can do the work only you can change the way you think and feel and act I&#39;m just saying that you can you definitely can because you have a higher power within you that can help you break free from these patterns if you allow it you can remind yourself that when you were a little baby you loved yourself for who you were there is not one little baby who criticizes its body and thinks oh my hips are too big babies are thrilled and delighted just because they have bodies they express their feelings when a baby is happy you know it and when a baby is angry the whole neighborhood knows it they are never afraid to let people know how they feel they live in the moment and you were like that once as you grew up you listen to people around you and you learned about fear and guilt and criticism from them if you grew up in a family where criticism was the norm then you are going to be critical as an adult if you grew up in a family where you were not allowed to express anger then you are probably terrified of anger and confrontation and you swallow it and let it reside in your body if you were raised in a family where everybody was manipulated by guilt then you are probably going to be the same way as an adult you are probably a person who runs around saying I&#39;m sorry all the time and can never ask for anything outright you feel you have to be manipulative in some way in order to get what you want as we grow up we begin to pick up these false ideas and lose touch with our inner wisdom so we really need to release these ideas and return to the purity of spirit where we truly love ourselves we need to re-establish the wonderful innocence of life and the moment by moment Joy of existence the same joy that a baby feels in its Blissful State of Wonder think of what you want to become true for yourself State them in positive not negative affirmations now go to the Mirror look in your eyes and repeat your affirmations see what obstacles are in your way when you begin to State an affirmation like I love and approve of myself really pay attention to what negative messages come up because as you recognize them they become the treasures that will unlock the door to your freedom usually the messages are one of the four I mentioned earlier criticism fear guilt or resentment and most likely you learn these messages from people back there some of you have chosen some difficult tasks to handle in this lifetime and it is my belief that we really come here to love ourselves in spite of what they say or do we can always go beyond our parents or our friends limitations if you were a good little girl or boy you learned your parents limited way of looking at life you see you&#39;re not bad you are good children you learned exactly what your parents taught you now that you were grown up you&#39;re doing the same thing how many of you hear yourself saying what your parents used to say congratulations they were very good teachers and you were very good students but now it is time for you to begin to think for yourself a lot of us may face resistance when we look in the mirror and repeat our affirmations however resistance is the first step to change most of us want our lives to change but when we are told that we have to do something different we say who me oh I don&#39;t want to do that others may experience feelings of despair often if you look in the mirror and say I love you the little child inside says where have you been all this time I&#39;ve been waiting for you to notice me and waves of sadness come up because you&#39;ve been rejecting the little child for a long long time when I did this exercise in one of my workshops a woman said she was very very scared I asked her what frightened her and she shared the fact that she was an incest Survivor many of us have had this experience called incest and we are learning to come through it it&#39;s interesting that it occurs so often on our planet we read so much about incest these days yet I don&#39;t think it is happening anymore now than it ever did we have advanced to a state where we now feel that children have rights and we are allowing ourselves to see this ugly sore in society in order to release the problem we have to first recognize it and then we can work through it therapy is so important for incest survivors we need a safe space where we can work through these feelings when we have let the anger and the rage and the shame out then we can move to the space where we can love ourselves no matter what we are working on we want to remember that the feelings that come up are just feelings we are not in the experience anymore we need to work on making the inner child feel safe we want to thank ourselves for having had the courage to survive this experience sometimes when we&#39;re dealing with an issue such as incest it&#39;s difficult to accept that the other person was doing the best he or she could at the time with the understanding and awareness and knowledge that they had acts of violence always come from people who were violated themselves we all need healing when we learn to love and cherish Who We Are we will no longer harm anyone stop all criticism when we are dealing with criticism we are usually criticizing ourselves all the time for the same things over and over when are we going to wake up and learn that criticism doesn&#39;t work let&#39;s try another tactic let&#39;s approve of ourselves as we are right now critical people often attract a lot of criticism because it is their pattern to criticize what we give out we get back they may also need to be perfect at all times who&#39;s perfect have you ever met a perfect person I haven&#39;t If We complain about another person we are really complaining about some aspect of ourselves everyone is a reflection of us and what we see in another person we see in ourselves many times we don&#39;t want to accept parts of Who We Are we abuse ourselves with alcohol or drugs or cigarettes or overeating or whatever these are ways of beating up on ourselves for not being perfect but being perfect for who SE early demands and expectations are we still trying to meet be willing to let that go just be you will find that you are wonderful just as you are this very moment if you have always been a critical person who sees life through very negative eyes it is going to take time for you to turn yourself around to be more loving and accepting you will learn to be patient with yourself as you practice letting go of the criticism which is only a habit not the reality of your being can you imagine how wonderful it would be if we could live our lives without ever being criticized by anyone we would feel totally at ease totally comfortable every morning would be a wonderful new day because everyone would love you and accept you and nobody would criticize you or put you down you can give this happiness to yourself by becoming more accepting of the things that make you unique and special the experience of living with yourself can be the most wonderful experience imaginable you can wake up in the morning and feel the joy of spending another day with you when you love who you are you automatically bring out the best in you I&#39;m not saying that you will be a better person because that implies that you&#39;re not good enough now however you will find more positive ways to fulfill your needs and to express more of who you really are guilt makes us feel inferior many times people give you negative messages because it is the easiest way to manipulate you if someone is trying to make you feel guilty ask yourself what do they want why are they doing this ask these questions instead of inwardly agreeing oh yes I&#39;m guilty I must do what they say many parents manipulate their children with guilt because they were raised that way they tell lies to the children to make them feel less than some people are still manipulated by their relatives and friends when they grow up because first of all they don&#39;t respect themselves otherwise they wouldn&#39;t let it happen secondly they are manipulative themselves many of you live under a cloud of guilt you always feel wrong or that you are not doing the right thing or apologizing to someone for something you will not forgive yourself for something you did in the past you berate yourself for a lot that goes on in your life let these clouds dissipate you don&#39;t need to live that way any longer those of you who feel guilty can now learn to say no and call people on their nonsense I&#39;m not saying to be angry with them but you don&#39;t have to play their game anymore if saying no is new to you say it very simply no no I cannot do that don&#39;t give excuses or the manipulator will have ammunition to talk you out of your decision when people see that manipulating you doesn&#39;t work they will stop people will only control you as long as you allow them to you may feel guilty the first time you say no however it gets easier the next few times a woman at one of my lectures had a baby who was born with a congenital heart disease she felt guilty because she&#39;d believe that it was her fault she did something to the baby unfortunately guilt does not solve anything in her case no one did anything wrong I told her that I thought it could have been a sole choice for the baby and a lesson for both the mother and baby my answer for her was to love the baby and love herself and stop feeling that she did something wrong that sort of guilt would not heal anyone if you do something that you are sorry about stop doing it if you did something in the past that you still feel guilty about forgive yourself if you can make amends do it and don&#39;t repeat the action again every time guilt comes up in your life ask yourself what do I still believe about myself who am I trying to please notice the childhood beliefs that come up when somebody comes to me who&#39;s been involved in a car accident there is usually guilt on a deep seated level and a need for punishment there can also be a lot of repressed hostility because we feel we don&#39;t have the right to speak up for ourselves guilt seeks punishment so we can literally become our own judge jury and executioner condemning ourselves to a self-imposed prison we punish ourselves and there is no one around to come to our defense it&#39;s time to forgive ourselves and set ourselves free one elderly lady at one of my seminars felt enormous guilt about her middle-aged son he was an only child who grew up to be a very withdrawn person she felt guilty because she was very strict with him while he was growing up I explained that she had done the best she knew how to do at the time I believe he chose her as a mother before he incarnated into this lifetime so on a spiritual level he knew what he was doing I told her that she was wasting all her energy feeling guilty about something that she couldn&#39;t change she sighed and said it&#39;s such a shame that he&#39;s this way and I&#39;m sorry I did a bad job now you see that&#39;s wasted energy because it doesn&#39;t help her son now and it certainly doesn&#39;t help her guilt becomes a very heavy burden and makes people feel inferior instead I told her that every time the feeling came up she could say something like no I don&#39;t want to feel that way anymore I&#39;m willing to learn to love myself I accept my son exactly as he is if she continued to do this the pattern would start to shift and she would free both of them even if we don&#39;t know how to love ourselves the fact that we are willing to love ourselves will create the difference it&#39;s just not worth it to hold on to these old patterns the lesson is always love yourself her lesson was not to heal her son but to love herself he came into this life to love himself she can&#39;t do it for him and he can&#39;t do it for her organized religions are often really good at making people feel guilty many of them do some heavy numbers to keep people in line especially when they are young however we aren&#39;t little children anymore and we don&#39;t have to be kept in line we are adults who can decide what we want to believe the child in US feels the guilt but there is also the adult in us who can teach the child otherwise when you hold your emotions down or hold things in you create Havoc within you love yourself enough to allow yourself to feel your emotions allow your feelings to come to the surface at first you may find yourself crying for days or getting angry a lot you may have to process quite a bit of old stuff I suggest you do affirmations that make going through the process easier smoother and more comfortable such as I now release with ease all old negative beliefs it is comfortable for me to change my pathway is now smooth I am free of the past also don&#39;t add judgment to your feelings that only pushes the feelings down even more if you are going through incredible dilemmas or crises affirm that you are safe and that you are willing to feel affirming these positive feelings will bring about beneficial changes chapter 6 letting your feelings out a tragedy can turn out to be our greatest good if we approach it in ways from which we can grow releasing anger in positive ways everyone deals with anger at one time or another in their lives anger is an honest emotion when it is not expressed or processed outwardly it will be processed inwardly in the body and usually develops into a dis-ease or dysfunction of some sort like criticism we usually get angry about the same things over and over again when we are angry and we feel we don&#39;t have a right to express it we swallow it down which causes resentment bitterness or depression so it&#39;s good to handle our anger when it comes up there are several methods to deal with anger in positive ways one of the best is to talk openly to the person with whom you are angry and to release the pent-up emotions you can say I am angry with you because when we feel like screaming at someone then the anger has been building up for a long time often it is because we feel we cannot speak to the other person so the second best way to let the anger out is to talk to the person in the mirror find yourself a place where you will feel safe and will not be disturbed look into your own eyes in the mirror if you find that you cannot then concentrate on your mouth or nose see yourself and or the person who you believe has done something wrong to you remember the moment when you became angry and let yourself feel the anger come through you begin to tell this person exactly what you are so angry about show all the anger you feel you could say something like I am angry at you because or I am hurt because you did or I am so afraid because you just get all your feelings out if you feel like expressing yourself physically then get some pillows and start hitting them or twist a towel don&#39;t be afraid to let your anger take its natural course you have already kept your feelings bottled up too long there is no need to feel any guilt or shame remember our feelings our thoughts in action they serve a purpose and when you let them loose from your mind and body you allow space inside for other more positive experiences when you have finished expressing your anger to the other person or persons do your best to forgive them forgiveness is an act of freedom for yourself because you are the one who will benefit from it if you can&#39;t forgive someone then the exercise is just a negative affirmation and is not healing for you there is a difference between releasing and just rehashing old angers you may want to say something like okay that situation is over that is in the past now I don&#39;t approve of Your Action and yet I understand that you were doing the best you could with the knowledge and understanding you had at the time I am done with this I release you and let you go you are free and I am free you may want to do this exercise several times before you truly feel that you have gotten rid of all your anger you may also want to work on one anger issue or several do what feels right for you there are other methods we can use to release the anger we can scream into a pillow we can kick pillows we can beat the bed or a punching bag we can write a hate letter and then burn it we can scream in our cars with the windows rolled up we can play tennis or go to the golf range and just hit balls one after another we can exercise swim or run around the block several times or just punch the air we can write or Draw our feelings using our non-dominant hand the creative process is a natural release for emotions one man at my seminar said he used an egg timer as he began screaming into a pillow he gave himself 10 minutes to let out all his frustrations and anger about his father after five minutes he was exhausted and every 30 seconds he would look at the egg timer and realize he still had a few more minutes to go I used to beat the bed and make a lot of noise I can&#39;t do that now because my dogs get frightened and think I&#39;m angry at them now I find it very effective to scream in the car or dig a hole in the garden or bat a ball around as you can see you can become quite creative when releasing your feelings I recommend that you do something physically to release charged up emotions in a safe way don&#39;t be Reckless or dangerous to yourself or others remember also to communicate with your higher power go within and know that there is an answer to your anger and that you will find it it is very healing to meditate and visualize your rage flowing freely out of your body send love to the other person and see your love dissolve whatever disharmony there is between you be willing to become harmonious perhaps the anger you feel is reminding you that you aren&#39;t communicating well with others by recognizing it you can correct it it&#39;s amazing how many people tell me how much happier they have become once they release anger towards another person it&#39;s as though a huge burden has been dropped one of my students had a difficult time letting her anger out intellectually she understood her feelings yet she couldn&#39;t Express them outwardly once she allowed herself this expression she kicked and screamed and called her mother and her alcoholic daughter all sorts of names she felt a tremendous weight lift from her when her daughter visited her afterwards she couldn&#39;t stop hugging her she had a loud room for love to come inside where all the repressed anger had been maybe you have been a person who&#39;s being angry for a major part of your life you have what I call habitual anger something happens and you get angry something else happens and you get angry again once more it happens and you keep getting angry but you never go beyond getting angry habitual anger is childish you always want your own way it would be helpful to ask yourself why am I choosing to be angry all the time what am I doing to create situation after situation that angers me is this the only way I can react to life is this what I want who am I still punishing or loving why do I want to be in this state what am I believing that causes all these frustrations what am I giving out that attracts in others the need to irritate me in other words why do you believe that to get your way you need to get angry I&#39;m not saying that there are no injustices and there aren&#39;t times when you have a right to feel angry however habitual anger is not good for your body because it lodges in there notice what you focus on most of the time sit in front of a mirror and look at yourself and ask who are you what is it that you want what makes you happy what can I do to make you happy now is the time to do something else create a new space inside yourself for loving optimistic and cheerful patterns people often get angry while they&#39;re driving their cars people often express their frustrations about the other lousy drivers on the road long ago I got over the fact that I was going to be upset because of someone else&#39;s inability to follow the rules of the road so the way I handle driving my car is first I put love into the car when I get in next I know and affirm that I&#39;m always surrounded by wonderful competent happy drivers everyone around me is a good driver because of my beliefs and affirmations whenever I&#39;m on the road I have very few poor drivers around me they&#39;re off bothering the person who&#39;s shaking his fist and screaming you know your car is an extension of you just like everything and everyone are extensions of you so put some love into your car and then send love out to everyone around you on the streets and highways I believe that the parts of your car are similar to the parts of your body for instance one of my workers felt that she had no vision that she could not see where her life was going or where she wanted it to go one morning she woke up and found her windshield smashed another person an acquaintance of mine felt that he was stuck in his life he was not moving forward or moving backward but was not moving at all and his tire became flat and he couldn&#39;t move anywhere I know it may sound silly at first but it&#39;s fascinating to me that the terminology that these two people use to describe their current mental state also related to their car having no vision means that you can&#39;t see in front of you the windshield is a perfect metaphor likewise being stuck is a perfect example of a flat tire the next time something happens to your car make a note as to what you feel the broken parts represents and see if you can connect it to how you are feeling at that particular moment or what is going on in your life you may be surprised at the results one day I will write a little book and call it heal your automobile there was a time when people did not understand the body mind connection now it is time for us to expand our thinking even more and to understand the Machinery mind connection every situation in your life is a learning experience and can be handled so that it works for you there is nothing new or unique about anger no one escapes the experience the key is in recognizing it for what it is and taking that energy in a healthier Direction if you get sick don&#39;t get angry over it instead of putting anger into your body fill it with love and forgive yourself those of you who are caretakers for sick people can also remember to take care of yourselves too if you don&#39;t you won&#39;t be any good to yourself or your friends or family you will burn out do something to let your feelings out as well once you learn to deal with anger in a positive way that readily benefits you you will find many wonderful changes occurring in the quality of your life resentment causes a variety of ills resentment is anger that has been buried for a long time the main problem with resentment is that it lodges in the body usually in the same place and in time it seeds and eats away at the body and often turns into tumors and Cancers therefore repressing anger and letting it settle in our bodies is not conducive to good health again it&#39;s time to let those feelings out many of us were raised in families where we weren&#39;t allowed to be angry women in particular were taught that to be angry with something bad anger was not acceptable except for one person usually a parent so we learn to swallow our anger rather than express it again we can now realize that we are the ones who are holding on to it nobody else is involved at all an oyster takes a grain of sand and it builds layer after layer after layer of calcite over it until it becomes a beautiful pearl in the same way we take our emotional hurts and nurse them over and over again by what I call running the old movie over and over in our minds if we want to be free from our hurts if we want to get out of them then it&#39;s time to go beyond them one of the reasons women create cysts and tumors in the uterus is through what I call the he done me wrong syndrome the genitals represent either the most masculine part of the body the masculine principle or the most feminine part of the body the feminine principle when people have emotional episodes usually in relationships they take it to one of those areas with women they may take it to their female organs their most feminine part and nurse the hurt until it becomes a cyst or tumor since resentment is buried deeply inside us we may have to do a lot of work to dissolve it I received a letter from a woman who was working on her third cancer tumor she still had not dissolved the resentment pattern and kept creating new tumors in her body I could tell she felt very self-righteous about her bitterness it was easier for her to let the doctor remove the latest tumor than to work on forgiveness it would have been good if she had been able to do both doctors are good at removing growths only we can keep them from reappearing sometimes we would rather die than change our patterns and we do I have noticed that many people would rather die than change their eating habits and they do this is very disturbing when it happens to someone we love and we are aware of alternative choices they could make no matter what choices we make they are always right for us and there is no blame even if we leave the planet we will all leave the planet in time and we will all find a way to do it at the right time for us again we don&#39;t have to blame ourselves for failing or doing it wrong we don&#39;t have to feel guilty there is no blame no one does it wrong a person does the best he or she knows how to do with the understanding and awareness that is available remember we all have the power within us and we all come here to learn certain lessons our higher selves know our destiny in this lifetime and what we must learn in order to move forward in our evolutionary process there is never any wrong way there just is we are all on an endless journey through eternity and we have lifetime after lifetime what we don&#39;t work out in this life I believe we will work out in another suppressed feelings lead to depression depression is anger turned inward it is also anger that you feel you do not have a right to have for instance you may feel it&#39;s not okay to be angry at your parent or spouse or employer or best friend and yet you are angry and you feel stuck that anger becomes depression far too many people today suffer from depression even chronic depression by the time we feel that depressed it&#39;s very difficult to get out of it it feels so hopeless that it becomes an effort to do anything I don&#39;t care how spiritual you are you have got to wash your dishes every now and then you can&#39;t let the sink pile up with dirty dishes and say oh I&#39;m metaphysical the same with your feelings if you want to have a mind that flows freely then clean up your inner mental dirty dishes one of the best ways is to give yourself permission to express some of your anger so that you won&#39;t have to stay so depressed there are now therapists that specialize in Anger releasing having a session or two with one of them could be most helpful it&#39;s my personal opinion that we all need to beat the bed once a week whether we feel angry or not there are some therapies that encourage you to get into your anger however I think that they often keep you immersed in the anger process too long anger like any emotion that surfaces lasts only a few minutes babies move in and out of their emotions very quickly it is our reaction to the emotion that causes us to hold and repress it author Elizabeth Kubler-Ross uses a wonderful exercise in her seminars which she calls externalization she has you take a piece of rubber hose and some old phone books and you beat them over and over again letting all sorts of emotions emerge when you&#39;re releasing anger it&#39;s okay to be embarrassed about it especially if it was against your family rules to get angry it will be embarrassing the first time you do it but when you get into it it can be such fun and very powerful God is not going to hate you for being angry once you have released some of this old anger you will be able to see your situation in a new light and find new Solutions another one of the suggestions I would make for a person who is depressed is to work with a good nutritionist and really get your diet cleaned up it&#39;s amazing how that can help the mind people who are depressed often eat very poorly which adds to the problem we all want to make the best choices so that the food we are taking in is good for our body also many times we find there is a chemical imbalance in the body that is further aggravated by the intake of medication of some sort now rebirthing is another wonderful process for releasing your feelings because it goes beyond the intellect if you have never had a rebirthing session I recommend that you try one it has been very helpful for many people it&#39;s a breathing modality that helps you connect with old issues so that you can release them in a positive way some rebirthers have you repeat your affirmations as you&#39;re going through the process then there is Bodywork such as Rolfing a process of deep connective tissue manipulation developed by Ida Roth or Heller work or Traeger work they are all excellent ways to release restrictive patterns in the body different processes work differently for each person one process may be good for one yet not for another we can only find what is best for us by trying different Avenues self-help sections in bookstores are excellent places to read about different alternatives health food stores often have bulletin boards that list meetings and classes when the student is ready the teacher appears fear is not having trust fear is rampant on the planet you can see and hear about it in the news every day in the form of wars and murders and greed and more fear is a lack of trust in ourselves because of that we don&#39;t trust life we don&#39;t trust that we are being taken care of on a higher level so we feel we must control everything from the physical level obviously we&#39;re going to feel fear because we can&#39;t control everything in our lives trust is what we learn when we want to overcome our fears it&#39;s called taking the leap of faith trust in the power within that is connected to Universal intelligence trust in that which is invisible instead of trusting only in the physical material world I&#39;m not saying that we do nothing yet if we have trust we can go through life much easier if you recall what I said earlier I believe that everything I need to know is revealed to me I trust that I&#39;m being taken care of even though I am not physically in control of everything that&#39;s happening around me when a fearful thought comes up it is really trying to protect you I suggest you say to the fear I know you want to protect me I appreciate that you want to help me and I thank you acknowledge the fearful thought it&#39;s there to take care of you when you become physically frightened your adrenaline pumps through your body to protect you from danger it&#39;s the same with the fear you manufacture in your mind observe your fears and recognize that you are not them think of fear the way you view images on a movie screen what you see on the screen is really not there the moving pictures are just frames of Celluloid and they change and disappear very rapidly our fears will come and go as rapidly as those pictures unless we insist on holding on to them fear is a limitation of our minds people have so much fear about getting sick or old or about becoming homeless or whatever anger is fear that becomes a defense mechanism it protects you and yet it would be so much more powerful for you to do affirmations so you can stop recreating fearful situations in your mind and love yourself through the fear again nothing comes from outside of us we are at the center of everything that happens in our lives everything is inside every experience every relationship is a mirror of a mental pattern that we have inside us fear is the opposite of love the more we are willing to love and Trust who we are the more we attract these qualities to ourselves when we are on a streak of really being frightened or upset or worried or not liking ourselves isn&#39;t it amazing how everything goes wrong in our lives one thing after another it seems it will never stop well it is the same when we really love ourselves everything starts to go on a winning streak and we get the green lights in the parking places all of the things that make life so wonderful the big and the little we get up in the morning and the day flows beautifully love yourself so that you can take care of yourself do everything you can to strengthen your heart your body and your mind turn to the power within you find a good spiritual connection and really work on maintaining it if you are feeling threatened or fearful consciously breathe we often hold our breath when we are frightened so take a few deep breaths breathing opens the space inside you that is your power it straightens your spine it opens your chest and gives your heart room to expand by breathing you begin to drop the barriers and open up you expand rather than contract Your Love flows you could say I am one with the power that created me I am safe and all is well in my world cleaning up our addictions one of the primary ways we mask our fear is through addictions addictions suppress the emotions so that we don&#39;t feel however there are many kinds of addictions besides the chemical ones there are also what I call pattern addictions patterns we adopt to keep ourselves from being present in our lives if we don&#39;t want to deal with what&#39;s in front of us or if we don&#39;t want to be where we are we have a pattern that keeps us out of touch with our lives for some people it&#39;s a food addiction or a chemical addiction there may be a genetic disposition for alcoholism however the choice to stay sick is always an individual one so often when we talk about something being hereditary it is really the little child&#39;s acceptance of the parents ways of handling fear for others there are emotional addictions you can be addicted to finding fault in people no matter what happens you will always find someone to blame it&#39;s their fault they did it to me maybe you are addicted to running up bills there are many of you addicted to being in debt you do everything you can to keep yourself head over heels and debt it doesn&#39;t seem to have anything to do with the amount of money you have you can be addicted to rejection everywhere you go you attract others who reject you you will find them however the rejection on the outside is a reflection of your own inner rejection if you don&#39;t reject yourself nobody else will either or if they do it certainly won&#39;t matter to you ask yourself what am I not accepting about myself there are plenty of people addicted to illness they are always catching something or worrying about getting sick they seem to belong to the illness of the month club or illness of the week if you&#39;re going to be addicted to anything why not be addicted to loving yourself you can be addicted to doing positive affirmations or doing something that is supportive of you compulsive overeating I receive a lot of letters from people with weight problems they go on diets that last two or three days or weeks and then they stop they feel guilty about falling off their diets and instead of recognizing that they did what they could at the time they get angry at themselves and feel guilty then to punish themselves because guilt always seeks punishment they go out and eat foods that are not good for their bodies if they could acknowledge that for the two weeks that they followed a particular regime they were doing something wonderful for their bodies and stop laying guilt trips on themselves they would begin to break the pattern they could also begin to say I used to have a problem with weight now I allow myself to be the perfect weight for me and the pattern would start to shift inside yet we don&#39;t want to concentrate on the food issue too much for that is not where the problem lies overeating has always meant a need for protection when you feel insecure or frightened you pad yourself with a layer of safety weight has nothing to do with food most of you spend a lifetime being angry at yourself for being fat what a waste of energy instead realize there is something going on in your life that is making you feel unsafe and insecure it could be your work your spouse your sexuality or your life in general or early belief patterns if you are overweight put the food weight issue aside and work on the pattern that says I need protection because I&#39;m insecure it&#39;s amazing how our cells respond to our mental patterns when the need for protection is gone or when we start feeling secure the fat will melt off I have noticed in my own life that when I&#39;m not feeling safe I will gain some weight when my life is going so fast and I&#39;m doing so much and I&#39;m spreading myself all over the place I feel a need for protection a need for security so I say okay Louise it&#39;s time to work on safety I want you to really know that you are safe and it&#39;s okay and you can do all this stuff and you can be at all these places and you can have all that&#39;s happening right now and you are safe and I love you when I feel secure again the weight melts away wage is only the outer effect of a fear that is inside you when you look in the mirror and see the fat person staring back remember that you are looking at the result of your old thinking when you start to change your thinking you are planting a seed for what will become true for you what you choose to think today will create your new figure tomorrow one of the best books on releasing excess weight is the only diet there is by Sandra Ray it&#39;s all about dieting from negative thinking and she shows you step by step how to do it self-help groups self-help groups have become the new social form I see this as a very positive move these programs do tremendous good people with similar problems getting together not to whine and complain but to find ways to work through these issues and improve the quality of their lives there is now a group for almost every problem you can think of many of them are listed in the phone book under Community Services in the front of your Yellow Pages I know you can find one that is right for you many churches now hold group meetings you could even go to the local health food store one of my favorites and see what is listed on their bulletin board if you are serious about changing your life you will find the way the 12-step programs are everywhere 12-step programs have been around for some time and they have developed a format that really works and brings about wonderful results their Al-Anon program for people who live with or were raised by addicted people is one of the best groups for all sorts of people feelings are our inner gauge when growing up in a troubled or dysfunctional family we learn to avoid conflict whenever possible and this results in the denial of our feelings we often do not trust others to meet our needs so we don&#39;t even ask for help we are convinced that we must be strong enough to handle things ourselves the only problem is that we fail to be in touch with our own feelings feelings are our most helpful link to our relationship with ourselves others and the world around us and they are an indication of what&#39;s working or not working in our lives shutting them off only leads to more complex problems and physical illnesses what you can feel you can heal if you don&#39;t allow yourself to feel what is going on inside of you you won&#39;t know where to begin the healing process on the other hand many of us seem to go through life always feeling guilty or jealous or fearful or sad we develop habit patterns that keep repeating the same experiences that we say we don&#39;t want to have if you keep feeling angry or sad or fearful or jealous and don&#39;t get in touch with the underlying cause you will continue to create more anger sad fear Etc when we stop feeling like victims we are able to take our power back we must be willing to learn the lesson so the problem can disappear when we trust the process of life and our spiritual connection with the universe we can dissolve our angers and fears as soon as they appear we can trust in life and know that everything is happening in Divine Right order and in the perfect time space sequence chapter 7 moving beyond the pain we are far more than our bodies and personalities the inner spirit is always beautiful and lovable no matter how our outer appearances may change the pain of death it&#39;s wonderful to be positive it&#39;s also wonderful to acknowledge what you are feeling Nature has given you feelings to get you through certain experiences and to deny them causes more pain remember death is not a failure everyone dies it&#39;s part of the process of life when someone you love dies the morning process takes at least a year so give yourself that space it&#39;s difficult to have to go through all the holidays and Seasons Valentine&#39;s Day your birthday your anniversary Christmas Etc so be very gentle with yourself and let yourself grieve there are no rules so don&#39;t make any for yourself it&#39;s also okay to get angry and have hysterics when someone dies you can&#39;t pretend it doesn&#39;t hurt you want to give your feelings an outlet let yourself cry look in the mirror and scream it isn&#39;t fair or whatever you feel inside again let it out otherwise you will create problems for your body you want to take care of yourself the best you can and I know it&#39;s not always easy those of us who have been working with people with AIDS find that the grieving process becomes ongoing it&#39;s the same as the grieving process in Wartime there are too many onslaughts to the emotional nervous system to handle many times I reach out to special friends and dissolve into hysterics when it all becomes too much it was much easier when my mother died I felt the natural completion of her 91 year cycle though I grieved I had no anger or rage at Injustice or untimeliness Wars and epidemics bring up tremendous frustration at the seeming unfairness of it all although grieving takes time sometimes you feel like you&#39;re in a bottomless pit if you are still grieving after a few years then you are wallowing in it it becomes an addiction you need to forgive and release the other person and yourself remember we don&#39;t lose anyone when they die because we never owned them in the first place if you are having a difficult time letting go there are several things you can do first of all I suggest you do some meditations with the person who is gone no matter what he or she thought or did while they were alive when they leave the planet a veil lifts and they see life very clearly so they no longer have the fears and the limiting beliefs that they had when they were here if you&#39;re grieving a lot they would probably tell you not to worry because all is well in your meditations ask the person for help to get you through this period And tell them that you love them don&#39;t judge yourself for not being with the person or doing enough for the person while they were alive that&#39;s just adding guilt to your grief some of you use this time as an excuse for not getting on with your own life some of you would like to leave the planet too or for some of you the death of someone you know and love brings up your own fear of death use this time to do inner work on yourself so you can release some of your own stuff a lot of sadness comes to the surface upon the death of a loved one let yourself feel the sadness you need to get to a point where you feel safe enough to let the old Pains come up if you would allow yourself two or three days of crying much of the sadness and guilt would disappear if you need to find a therapist or a group to help you feel safe enough so that you can release the emotions another suggestion is to say affirmations like I love you and I set you free you are free and I am free one woman was having a very difficult time letting go of the anger she felt towards an aunt who was very ill she was terrified that her Aunt would pass away and she would not be able to communicate how she really felt about the past she didn&#39;t want to speak with the aunt because she felt all choked up inside I suggested to her that she worked with the therapist for one-on-one work can be so helpful when we are stuck in any area it is an act of love for ourselves to reach out for help there are many types of therapists all over who are experienced in these situations you don&#39;t need to go for a long time just a short while so that you can get through your difficult period there are also many grief support groups it might be helpful for you to join one because it would assist you as you go through the process understanding our pain many of us live from day to day with unrelieved pain it may be a small part of our lives or it may take up a large unbearable portion of it but what is pain most of us agree that it is something we would like to be free of let&#39;s look at what we can learn from it where does it come from what is it trying to tell us the dictionary defines pain as an unpleasant or distressing sensation due to bodily injury or disorder as well as a mental or emotional suffering or torment since pain is an outgrowth of both mental and physical dis-ease it is clear that both the mind and the body are susceptible to it I recently saw a wonderful example as I watched two little girls playing in a park the first child raised her hand to playfully slap her friend on the arm before she was able to connect the other little girl said ow the first little girl looked at her and said why did you say oh I haven&#39;t even touched you yet to which her friend quickly replied well I knew it was going to hurt in this instant the mental pain presumed the expected physical pain pain comes to us in many forms a scratch a bump a bruise dis-ease uneasy sleep a threat a naughty feeling in your stomach a numbing sensation in your arm or leg sometimes it hurts a lot sometimes only a little but we know it&#39;s there in most cases it&#39;s trying to tell us something at times the message is obvious sour stomach experience during the work week but not on the weekend May indicate a need for an attitude change or for a job change and many of us know the significance of the pain that occurs after a night of excessive drinking whatever the message we must remember that the human body is a wonderfully constructed piece of Machinery it tells us if there are problems but only if we are willing to listen unfortunately many of us do not take or make the time to listen pain is actually one of the body&#39;s Last Resort messages to tell us that something is wrong in our lives we are really off track somewhere the body is always aspiring for Optimum Health no matter what we do to it however if we abuse our bodies tremendously we contribute to the conditions of our dis-ease when we first feel pain what do we do we usually run to the medicine cabinet or to the drugstore and we take a pill in effect we say to the body shut up I don&#39;t want to hear you the body will quiet down for a little bit then the whisperings return and this time a little louder maybe we go to the doctor for an injection or a prescription or we do something else but at some point we have to pay attention to what is going on because we may have a full-blown dis-ease of some sort even at that point some people still want to play victim and still don&#39;t listen others awaken to what&#39;s going on and are willing to make changes it&#39;s okay we all learn in different ways the answers may be as simple as getting a good night&#39;s sleep or not going out seven nights a week or not pushing yourself at work allow yourself to listen to your body because it does want to get well your body wants to be healthy and you can cooperate with it when I first feel pain or discomfort I quiet myself I trust that my higher power will let me know what needs to be changed in my life so that I can be free from this dis ease In These Quiet times I visualize the most perfect natural setting with my favorite flowers growing in abundance all around me I can feel and smell the sweet warm air as it blows gently across my face and I concentrate on relaxing every muscle in my body when I feel that I have reached a state of complete relaxation I simply ask my inner wisdom how am I contributing to this problem what is it that I need to know what areas of my life are in need of change then I breathe and let the answers pour over me the answers may not come at that moment but I know that they will be revealed to me soon I know that whatever changes are needed are the right ones for me and that I will be completely safe No Matter What unfolds before me sometimes you wonder how you can accomplish such changes how will I live what about the children how will I pay my bills again trust your higher power to show you the means to live a plentiful pain-free life I also suggest that you make changes one step at a time loud say said the Journey of a Thousand Miles begins with one step one small step added to another can create significant major advancements once you go about making your changes please remember that the pain does not necessarily disappear overnight and yet it may it has taken time for pain to surface therefore it may take some time to recognize that it is no longer needed be gentle with yourself don&#39;t gauge your progress by someone else&#39;s you are unique and have your own way of handling your life put your trust in your higher self in order to Free Yourself of all physical and emotional pain forgiveness is the key to Freedom I often ask clients would you rather be right or would you rather be happy we all have opinions on who was right and who was wrong according to our own perceptions and we can all find ways to justify our feelings we want to punish others for what they did to us however we are the ones running the story over and over in our own minds it is foolish for us to punish ourselves in the present because someone heard us in the past to release the past we want to be willing to forgive even if we don&#39;t know how forgiveness means giving up our hurtful feelings and just letting the whole thing go a state of non-forgiveness actually destroys something within ourselves no matter what Avenue of spirituality you follow you will usually find that forgiveness is an enormous issue at any time but most particularly when there is an illness when we are ill we really need to look around and see who it is we need to forgive and usually the very person who we think we will never forgive is the one we need to forgive the most not forgiving someone else doesn&#39;t harm the other person in the slightest but it plays havoc with us the issues aren&#39;t theirs the issues are ours The Grudges and hurts you feel have to do with forgiving yourself not someone else affirm that you are totally willing to forgive everyone I am willing to free myself from the past I am willing to forgive all those who may ever have harmed me and I forgive myself for having harmed others if you think of anyone who may have harmed you in any way at any point in your life bless that person with love and release them and then dismiss the thought I wouldn&#39;t be where I am today if I hadn&#39;t forgiven the people who have hurt me I would not want to punish myself today for what they did to me in the past I&#39;m not saying that it would be easy it&#39;s just that now I can look back at that stuff and say oh yes that&#39;s something that happened however I don&#39;t live there anymore and it is not the same as condoning their behavior if you feel ripped off by another know that nobody can take anything from you that is rightfully yours if it belongs to you it will return to you at the right time if something doesn&#39;t come back to you it wasn&#39;t meant to you need to accept that and go on with your life to become free you need to get out of your self-righteous resentment and off your pity pot I love this expression which originated with Alcoholics Anonymous because it is such a wonderful accurate description when you are sitting on your pity pot you are this helpless person who has no power at all in order to have power you want to stand on your own two feet and take responsibility take a moment and close your eyes if you can and imagine a beautiful stream of water in front of you take the old painful experience the hurt and the unforgiveness and put the whole incident in the Stream see it begin to dissolve and drift Downstream until it totally dissipates and disappears you can do this as often as you want this is a time for compassion and healing go within and connect with that part of yourself that knows how to heal you are incredibly capable be willing to go to new levels to find capabilities of which you were not aware not just to cure dis-ease but to truly heal yourself on all possible levels to make yourself whole in the deepest sense of the word to accept every part of yourself and every experience you have ever had and to know that it is all part of the tapestry of your life this time around I love Emmanuel&#39;s book there is a passage in it which has a good message the question to Emmanuel is how do we experience painful circumstances without becoming embittered by them and Emmanuel&#39;s reply is by seeing them as lessons and not as retribution trust life my friends however far afield life seems to take you this trip is necessary you have come to Traverse a wide terrain of experience in order to verify where truth lies and where your Distortion is in that Terrain you will then be able to return to your home center your sole self refreshed and wiser if only we could understand that all of our so-called problems are just opportunities for us to grow and to change and that most of them come from the vibrations that we have been giving off all we really need to do is change the way we think be willing to dissolve the resentment and be willing to forgive part three loving yourself can you remember the last time you were in love your heart went ah it was such a wonderful feeling it&#39;s the same thing with loving yourself accept that you will never leave once you have your love for yourself it&#39;s with you for the rest of your life so you want to make it the best relationship you can have chapter 8 How To Love Yourself when you forgive and let go not only does a huge weight drop off your shoulders but the doorway to your own self-love opens for many of you who have been working on loving yourselves and for those of you who are just beginning I&#39;m going to explore some ways to help you learn how to love yourselves I call it my 10 steps and I have sent thousands of people this list over the years loving yourself is a wonderful Adventure it&#39;s like learning to fly imagine if we all had the power to fly at will how exciting it would be let&#39;s begin to love ourselves right now many of us seem to suffer from a lack of self-esteem at one level or another it&#39;s very difficult for us to love ourselves because we have all these so-called faults inside us that we feel make it impossible to love ourselves exactly as we are usually we make loving ourselves conditional and then when we are involved in relationships we make loving the other person conditional also we&#39;ve all heard that we really can&#39;t love someone else until we love ourselves so now that we have seen the barriers we have set up for ourselves how do we catapult to the next step one probably the most important key is to stop criticizing yourself I&#39;ve talked about criticism before if we tell ourselves that we are okay no matter what is going on we can make changes in our lives easily it is when we make ourselves bad that we have great difficulty we all change everyone every day is a new day and we do things a little differently than we did the day before our ability to adapt and flow with the process of life is part of our power those who have come from dysfunctional homes often become super responsible and have gotten in the habit of judging themselves unmercifully they have grown up with tension and anxiety the message they get as children of dysfunctional homes is there must be something wrong with me think for a moment about the words you use when scolding yourself some of the phrases people tell me are stupid bad boy bad girl useless careless dumb ugly worthless sloppy dirty Etc are these the same words you use now when you&#39;re describing yourself there is a tremendous need to build self-worth and value in ourselves because when we feel not good enough we find ways to keep ourselves miserable we create illness or pain in our bodies we procrastinate about things that would benefit us we mistreat our bodies with food alcohol and drugs we are all insecure in some ways because we are human let us learn not to pretend that we are perfect having to be perfect only puts immense pressure on ourselves and it prevents us from looking at areas of Our Lives that need healing instead we could discover our creative distinctions our individualities and appreciate ourselves for the qualities that set us apart from others each one of us has a unique role to play on this Earth and when we are critical of ourselves we obscure it two we want to stop scaring ourselves many of us terrorize ourselves with frightful thoughts and make situations worse than they are we take a small problem and make it into a big monster it&#39;s a terrible way to live always expecting the worst out of life how many of you go to bed at night creating the worst possible scenario of a problem that&#39;s like a little child who imagines monsters under the bed and then gets terrified it&#39;s no wonder you can&#39;t sleep as a child you needed your parent to come and soothe you now as an adult you know you have the ability to soothe yourself people who are ill do this a lot often they visualize the worst or they are immediately planning their funerals they may give their power to the media and see themselves as statistics you may also do this in relationships someone doesn&#39;t call you and immediately you decide that you are totally unlovable and that you&#39;ll never have another relationship again you feel abandoned and rejected you do the same thing with your job someone makes a remark at work and you begin to think you&#39;re going to be fired you build these paralyzing thoughts in your mind remember these frightening thoughts are negative affirmations if you find yourself habitually reviewing a negative thought or situation in your mind find an image of something you really would like to replace it with it could be a beautiful view or a Sunset Flowers a sport or anything you love use that image as your switch to image every time you find that you are scaring yourself you could say to yourself no I&#39;m not going to think about that anymore I&#39;m going to think about sunsets or roses or Paris or Yachts or waterfalls or whatever your image is if you keep doing this you will eventually break the Habit again it takes practice three another way is to be gentle and kind and patient with yourself I&#39;ve heard dear God I pray for patience and I want it right now but patience is a very powerful tool most of us suffer from the expectation of immediate gratification we must have it now we don&#39;t have the patience to wait for anything we get irritable if we have to wait in lines or are stuck in traffic we want all the answers and all the goodies right now too often we make other people&#39;s lives miserable by our own impatience but impatience is a resistance to learning impatience is resistance to learning we want the answers without learning the lesson or doing the steps that are necessary for our growth you could think of your mind as if it were a garden to begin with a garden is a patch of dirt you may have a lot of brambles of self-hatred and rocks of Despair anger and worry an old tree called fear needs pruning once you get some of these things out of the way and the soil is in good shape you add some little seeds or plants of joy and prosperity The Sun Shines down on it and you water it and give it nutrients and loving attention at first not much seems to be happening but you don&#39;t stop you keep taking care of your garden if you are patient the garden will grow and Blossom the same with your mind you select the thoughts that will be nurtured and with patience they grow and contribute to creating the garden of experiences you want we all make mistakes it&#39;s okay to make mistakes while you are learning as I said so many of you are cursed with perfectionism you won&#39;t give yourself a chance to really learn anything new because if you don&#39;t do it perfectly in the first three minutes you assume you are not good enough anything you&#39;re going to learn takes time when you first began doing something it usually doesn&#39;t feel right to show you what I mean take a moment right now and clasp your hands together there&#39;s no right or wrong way to do this clasp your hands and notice which thumb is on top now open your hands and then clasp your hands again with the other thumb on top it probably feels strange odd maybe even wrong class them again the first way then the second and the first again and the second way and hold it how does it feel now not so odd not so bad you&#39;re getting used to it maybe you can even learn to do it both ways it&#39;s the same thing when we are doing something a new way it may feel different and we immediately judge it yet with a little bit of practice it can become normal and natural we&#39;re not going to love ourselves totally in one day but we can love ourselves a little bit more every day each day we give ourselves a little bit more love and in two or three months we will have come so much further in loving ourselves so mistakes are your Stepping Stones they are valuable because they&#39;re your teachers don&#39;t punish yourself for making a mistake if you are willing to learn and grow from the mistake then it serves as a step towards fulfillment in your life some of us have been working on ourselves for a very long time and wonder why we still have issues that come up for us we need to keep reinforcing what we know not resisting by throwing up our hands in the air and saying what&#39;s the use as we learn new ways we need to be gentle and kind to ourselves remember the garden when the negative weeds grow pluck them out as quickly as you can number four we must learn to be kind to our minds let&#39;s not hate ourselves for having negative thoughts we can think of our thoughts as building us up rather than beating us up we don&#39;t have to blame ourselves for negative experiences we can learn from these experiences being kind to ourselves means we stop all blame all guilt all punishment and all pain relaxation can help us as well relaxation is absolutely essential for tapping into The Power Within because if you are tense and frightened you shut off your energy it only takes a few minutes a day to allow the body and the mind to let go and relax at any moment you can take a few deep breaths close your eyes and release whatever tension you&#39;re carrying as you exhale become centered and say to yourself silently I love you all is well you will notice how much calmer you feel you are building messages that say you don&#39;t have to go through life tense and frightened all the time meditate on a daily basis I also recommend quieting your mind and listening to your own inner wisdom our society has made meditation into something mysterious and difficult to achieve and yet meditation is one of the oldest and simplest processes there is all we need to do is get into a relaxed state and repeat silently to ourselves words like love or peace or anything meaningful to us own is an ancient sound that I often use at my workshops and it seems to work very well we could even repeat I love myself or I forgive myself or I am forgiven and then just listen for a while some people think that if they meditate they have to stop their minds from thinking we really can&#39;t stop the mind but we can slow down our thoughts and then just let them flow through some people sit with a pad and pencil and write down their negative thoughts because they seem to dissipate more easily if we can get to a state where we are watching our thoughts Float by oh there&#39;s a fear thought and some anger now there&#39;s a love thought and now a disaster there&#39;s an abandonment thought a joy thought and don&#39;t give these thoughts importance then we begin to use our tremendous power wisely you can begin meditation anywhere and allow it to become a habit think of meditation as focusing on your higher power you become connected with yourself and your inner wisdom you can do it in whatever form you like some people go into a kind of meditation while they&#39;re jogging or walking again don&#39;t make yourself wrong for doing it differently I love to get on my knees in the garden and dig in the dirt it&#39;s a great meditation for me an excellent easy to understand book on meditation is minding the body mending the Mind by Joan borsenko visualize optimistic outcomes visualization is also very important and there are many techniques you can use Dr Carl Simington in his book getting well again recommends a lot of visualization techniques for people with cancer and they often yield excellent results with visualization you create a clear positive image that enhances your affirmation many of you have written to me about the kinds of visualizations you do along with your affirmations the important thing to remember about visualizations is that they must be compatible with the kind of person you are otherwise your visualizations will not work for instance a woman with cancer pictured the good killer cells in her body attacking the cancer and killing it at the end of the visualization she doubted whether she had done it correctly and didn&#39;t feel that it was working for her so I asked her are you a killer person and she answered I personally don&#39;t feel good about creating a war in my body so I suggested that she changed her visualization to one that was a little more gentle I think it&#39;s better to use images like the sun melting the sick cells or a magician transforming them with his magic wand when I had my cancer I used the visualization of cool Clear Water washing the diseased cells out of my body we need to do visualizations that are not so offensive to us on the subconscious level those of us who have family or friends who are sick do them in Injustice by continually seeing them sick visualize them well send them Good Vibrations however remember that getting well is really up to them there are many good audio tapes with guided visualizations and meditations that you can give them to help them through this process if they are open if not just send them love everyone can visualize describing your home having a sexual fantasy imagining what you would do to a person who hurt you are all visualizations it&#39;s amazing what the mind can do number five the next step is to praise yourself criticism breaks down the inner spirit and praise builds it up acknowledge your power your God&#39;s self we are all expressions of the infinite intelligence when you berate yourself you belittle the power that created you begin with the little things tell yourself that you are wonderful if you do it once and then stop it doesn&#39;t work keep at it even if it&#39;s one minute at a time and believe me it does get easier the next time you do something new or different or something you are just learning and you&#39;re not to Adept at be there for yourself it was a Big Thrill the first time I spoke at the church of religious science in New York I remember it very well it was a Friday noon meeting people wrote questions and put them in a basket for me the speaker I brought the basket to the podium and answered the questions and did a small treatment after each one after I finished I walked away from the podium and said to myself Louise you were fantastic considering this was the first time out by the time you do this six times you&#39;re gonna be a pro I didn&#39;t berate myself and say oh you forgot to say this or that I didn&#39;t want to have the second time be something that would frighten me if I beat myself up the first time I would beat myself up the second time and I would dread speaking in the end and after a couple of hours I thought of what I could change to improve I never made myself wrong I was very careful to praise myself and congratulate myself for being wonderful and by the time I had conducted six meetings I was a pro I think we can apply this method in all areas of Our Lives I continued speaking at the meetings for quite some time it was wonderful training because it taught me how to think on my feet allow yourself to accept good whether you think you deserve it or not I&#39;ve discussed how believing that we are not deserving is our unwillingness to accept good in our lives it&#39;s what stops us from having what we want how could we create anything good for ourselves if we think we don&#39;t deserve to have good think about the laws of deserving in your home did you feel good enough smart enough tall enough pretty enough whatever and what do you have to live for you know you are here for a reason and it&#39;s not just to buy a new car every few years what are you willing to do to fulfill yourself are you willing to do affirmations visualizations treatments are you willing to forgive are you willing to meditate how much mental effort are you willing to exert to change your life and make it the life you want number six loving yourself means supporting yourself reach out to friends and allow them to help you you really are being strong when you ask for help when you need it so many of you have learned to be so self-reliant and self-sufficient you can&#39;t ask for help because your ego won&#39;t let you instead of trying to do it all yourself and then getting angry at yourself because you can&#39;t make it try asking for help next time there are support groups in every city there are 12-step programs for almost every problem and in some areas there are healing circles and church-affiliated organizations if you can&#39;t find what you want you can start your own group it&#39;s not as scary as you might think gather together two or three friends who have the same issues that you have and set up a few guidelines to follow have a book to study or tapes to listen to if you do it with love in your heart your little group will grow people will be attracted like a magnet don&#39;t worry if it starts to grow and your meeting space gets too small the universe always provides if you don&#39;t know what to do write my office and we&#39;ll send you guidelines on how to conduct a little group you really can be there for each other I started the hayride in Los Angeles in 1985 with six men with AIDS in my living room we didn&#39;t know what we were going to do about this intense crisis I told them we weren&#39;t going to sit around playing ain&#39;t it awful because we already knew that we did what we could on a positive level to support each other we&#39;re still meeting today and we have about 200 people coming every Wednesday night to West Hollywood Park it&#39;s an extraordinary group for people with AIDS and everybody is welcome people come from all over the world to see how this group functions and because they feel supported it&#39;s not only me it&#39;s the group everyone contributes to making it effective we meditate and do visualizations we Network and share information about alternative therapies and the latest medical methods there are energy tables at one end of the room where people can lie down and others share healing energies by laying on hands or praying for them we have signs of Mind practitioners they can talk to at the end we sing and hug one another we want people to go out feeling better than when they came in and sometimes people receive a positive lift that lasts for several days support groups have become the new social form and they are very effectual Tools in this complex day and age many new thought churches such as unity and religious science have ongoing weekly support groups many groups are listed in New Age magazines and newspapers networking is so important it Sparks you and gets you going I suggest that people who have similar ideas share time with one another on a regular basis when people work together on a common goal they bring their pain confusion anger or whatever and come together not to moan but to find a way to go beyond to rise above and to grow up in a way if you are very dedicated very self-disciplined and very spiritual you can do a lot of work by yourself on yourself when you are with a group of people doing the same thing you can make Quantum leaps because you learn from one another every single person in the group is a teacher so if you have issues that need working on I would suggest if possible that you get into a group of some sort where you can work them through number seven love your negatives they are all part of your creation just as we are all part of God&#39;s creation the intelligence that created us doesn&#39;t hate us because we make mistakes or get angry at our children this intelligence knows that we are doing the best we can and loves all of its creation as we can love ours you and I have all made negative choices and if we keep punishing ourselves for them it becomes a habit pattern and we&#39;ll find it very tiresome to let them go and to move on to more positive choices if you keep repeating I hate my job I hate my house I hate my illness I hate this relationship I hate this I hate that very little new good can come into your life no matter what negative situation you are in it&#39;s there for a reason otherwise you wouldn&#39;t have it in your life Dr John Harrison the author of love your disease says that patients are never to be condemned for having multiple operations or illnesses actually patients can congratulate themselves for finding a safe way to have their needs met we want to understand that whatever issue or problem we have we contributed to creating it in order to handle certain situations once we realize this then we can find a positive way to fulfill our needs sometimes people with cancer or other so-called terminal illnesses have such a hard time saying no to an authoritative figure in their life that on an unconscious level they will create a major dis-ease to say no for them I knew a woman who when she realized the illness she was creating for herself was just to be able to refuse her father&#39;s demands decided to begin to live for herself for once she began to say no to him and while it was difficult for her at first as she continued to stand up for herself she was delighted to find herself getting well whatever our negative patterns are we can learn to fulfill those needs in more positive ways that&#39;s why it&#39;s so important to ask yourself the question what is the payoff from this experience what am I getting that&#39;s positive we don&#39;t like to answer that question however if we really look within and are honest with ourselves we will find that answer perhaps your answer would be it&#39;s the only time I get loving attention from my spouse once realized you can begin to look for more positive ways to achieve this humor is another potent tool it helps us release and lighten up during stressful experiences at the hayride we set time aside for jokes sometimes we have a guest speaker called The Laugh lady she has a contagious laugh and puts everyone on a laughter cycle we can&#39;t always take ourselves too seriously and laughter is very healing I also recommend watching old comedies such as those of Laurel and Hardy when you&#39;re feeling low or down when I did private counseling I would do my best to get people to begin to laugh at their problems when we can see our lives as a stage play with soap opera and drama and comedy we get a better perspective and we are on the way to Healing humor enables us to pull back from the experience and to see it in a larger perspective number eight take care of your body think of your body as this marvelous house in which you live for a while you would love your house and take care of it wouldn&#39;t you so watch what you put into your body drug and alcohol abuse is so prevalent because they are two of the most popular methods of Escape if you are into drugs it doesn&#39;t mean that you are a bad person it means you haven&#39;t found a more positive way of fulfilling your needs drugs beckoned to us come and play with me and we&#39;ll have a good time and it&#39;s true they can make you feel wonderful however they alter your reality so much and although it isn&#39;t evident at first you have to pay a terrible price in the end after taking drugs for a while your health deteriorates immensely and you feel awful most of the time drugs affect your immune system which can lead to numerous physical ailments also after repeated use you develop an addiction and you have to wonder what made you start taking drugs in the first place peer pressure may have compelled you to take them in the beginning but continued and repeated use is another story I have yet to meet anyone who really loves themselves and who is hooked on drugs we use drugs and alcohol to escape our childhood feelings of not being good enough and when they wear off we feel worse than before then we usually have a load of guilt too we can know that it&#39;s safe to feel our feelings and acknowledge them the feelings pass they don&#39;t stay stuffing food into our bodies is another way to hide our love we can&#39;t live without food because it fuels our bodies and helps to create new cells even though we may know the basics of good nutrition often we still use food and diets to punish ourselves and to create obesity we&#39;ve become a nation of junk food addicts we have been on what I call the Great American diet for decades filling ourselves with processed foods of every sort we&#39;ve allowed the food companies and their advertising gimmicks to influence our eating habits doctors aren&#39;t even taught nutrition in medical schools unless they take it as an extracurricular subject most of what we consider conventional medicine at the moment concentrates on drugs and surgery so if we really want to learn about nutrition it&#39;s an issue that we must take into our own hands it&#39;s an act of loving ourselves to become aware of what we put into our mouths and how it makes us feel if you eat lunch and an hour later you start feeling sleepy you might ask yourself what did I eat you may have consumed something that isn&#39;t good for your body at that particular time start noticing what gives you energy and what depletes you and brings you down you can do this by trial and error or you could find a good nutritionist who can answer some of your questions remember that what&#39;s right for one person isn&#39;t necessarily right for another our bodies are different a macrobiotic diet is wonderful for many people so is Harvey and Maryland diamonds Fit for Life method they are totally different concepts and yet they both work every body is different from every other body so we can&#39;t say that only one method works you have to find out which way works best for you then find exercise that you enjoy that is fun to do create a positive mental attitude about your exercise often you create obstacles in your body&#39;s primarily as a result of what you absorb from other people again you need to forgive yourself and stop putting anger and resentment into your body if you want to create changes combining affirmations with your exercise is a way to reprogram negative Concepts about your body and its shape we are in a time now where new technologies for health are multiplying and we are learning to combine some ancient healing methods such as ayurvedic medicine with sound wave technology I have been studying How Sound can stimulate our brain waves and accelerate our learning and healing there is research that shows that we can cure illness by mentally changing our DNA structure I think that between now and the end of the century we are going to explore a range of possibilities that will be enormously beneficial to much of the population Number Nine mirror work I often emphasize the importance of mirror work in order to find out the cause of an issue that keeps us from loving ourselves there are several ways that you can practice mirror work I like to look in the mirror the first thing in the morning and say to myself I love you what can I do for you today how can I make you happy listen to your inner voice and start following through with what you hear you may not get any messages to begin with because you&#39;re so used to scolding yourself and you don&#39;t know how to respond with a kind loving thought if something unpleasant happens to you during the day go to the mirror and say I love you anyway because events come and go but the love that you have for yourself can be constant and it is the most important quality you possess in your life if something wonderful happens go to the mirror and say thank you acknowledge yourself for creating this wonderful experience you can forgive in the mirror too forgive yourself and forgive others you can talk to other people in the mirror especially when you&#39;re afraid to talk to them in person you can clean up old issues with people parents bosses doctors children lovers you can say all sorts of things that you would be afraid to say otherwise and remember to end by asking them for their love and approval because that is what you really want people who have problems loving themselves are almost always people who are not willing to forgive because not forgiving shuts the door to the heart when we forgive and let go not only does a huge weight drop off our shoulders but the doorway to our own self-love opens up people will say oh such a load is dropped off well of course it has because we&#39;ve been carrying this burden forever Dr John Harrison States that forgiveness of both the self and the parents coupled with the release of past hurts cures more illness than any antibiotic ever could it takes a lot to make children stop loving their parents but when they do it takes even more for them to forgive them when we won&#39;t forgive when we won&#39;t let go we&#39;re binding ourselves to the Past and when we are stuck in the past we cannot live in present time and if we are not living in the present how can we create our glorious future old garbage from the past just creates more garbage for the future affirmations performed in front of a mirror are advantageous because you learn the truth of your existence when you do an affirmation and you immediately hear a negative response such as who are you kidding or it can&#39;t be true or you don&#39;t deserve that then you have received a gift to use you cannot make the changes you want until you are willing to see what is holding you back the negative response you have just discovered is like a gift in that it becomes the key to Freedom turn that negative response into a positive affirmation such as I now deserve all good I allow good experiences to fill my life and repeat the new affirmation until it does become a new part of your life I have also seen families change enormously when just one person does affirmations many people at the hayride come from estranged families their parents literally will not talk to them and I&#39;ve had them repeat the affirmation I have wonderful loving warm open communication with every member of my family including my mother or including my father every time that person or the family comes to mind I suggest that they go to the mirror and say the affirmation over and over again it&#39;s often amazing to see the parents actually show up at the meeting three or six or nine months later number 10. love yourself now don&#39;t wait until you get it right dissatisfaction with yourself is a habit pattern if you can be satisfied with yourself now if you can love and approve of yourself now then when good comes into your life you will be able to enjoy it once you learn to love yourself you can begin to love and accept other people we can&#39;t change other people so leave them alone we spend a lot of energy trying to make others different if we used half that energy on ourselves we could make ourselves different and when we are different others respond differently to us you can&#39;t learn life for another person everyone has to learn his or her particular lessons all you can do is learn for yourself and loving yourself is the first step so you are not brought down by other people&#39;s destructive behaviors if you are in a situation where you are with a really negative person who doesn&#39;t want to change you need to love yourself enough to move away from that one woman told me that her husband was very negative and that she didn&#39;t want him to be a bad influence on her two little children I suggested that she start affirming that her husband was a wonderful supportive man who really is working on himself and is bringing out his best qualities I told her to affirm what she would like to have happen and every time he was negative simply run the affirmation through her mind however if the relationship continued to be negative no matter what affirmation she was saying then that might be the answer the relationship simply wouldn&#39;t work anymore because of the increasing divorce rate in our country I think a question that many women need to ask themselves before they have children is am I willing to support these children totally on my own being a single parent has become more and more the norm and it&#39;s almost always the woman who acquires the added responsibility of raising children by herself there was a time when marriage has lasted a lifetime but times have changed so it&#39;s definitely a situation to be considered far too often we stay in abusive relationships and allow ourselves to be put down what we are saying to ourselves is I&#39;m not worth loving so I will stay here and accept this Behavior because I must deserve it and I&#39;m sure nobody else would want me I know that I sound simplistic and repeat the same Expressions over and over again but I truly do believe that the quickest way to change any problem is to love Who We Are it&#39;s amazing how the loving vibrations we send out will attract to us people who are loving unconditional love is the goal I think we have come here to attain it begins with self-acceptance and self-love you are not here to please other people or to live your lives their way you can only live it your own way and walk your own pathway you have come to fulfill yourself and to express love on the deepest level you are here to learn and grow and to absorb and project compassion and understanding when you leave the planet you don&#39;t take your relationship or your automobile or your bank account or your job with you the only thing you take is your capacity to love chapter nine loving the child Within if you can&#39;t get close to other people it&#39;s because you don&#39;t know how to be close to your own inner child the child in you is scared and hurting be there for your child one of the core issues that we want to explore is healing the Forgotten child Within most of us have ignored our inner child for far too long doesn&#39;t matter how old you are there is a little child within you who needs love and acceptance if you&#39;re a woman no matter how self-reliant you are you have a little girl who&#39;s very tender and needs help and if you are a man no matter how Macho you are no matter how old you are you still have a little boy inside of you who craves warmth and affection every age that you have been is within you within your Consciousness and memory as children when something went wrong you tended to believe that there was something wrong with you children develop the idea that if they could only do it right than parents or whoever would love them and they wouldn&#39;t beat them or punish them so whenever the child wants something and doesn&#39;t get it he or she believes I&#39;m not good enough I&#39;m defective and as we grow older we reject certain parts of ourselves at this point in our lives right now we need to begin to make ourselves whole and accept every part of Who We Are the part that did all the stupid things the part that was funny looking the part that was scared the part that was very foolish and silly the part that had egg on its face every single part of ourselves I think that we often turn off or tune out around the age of five we make that decision because we think that there is something wrong with us and we&#39;re not going to have anything to do with the child anymore there is a parent inside as well you have a child and you have a parent and most of the time the parent scolds the child almost on a Non-Stop basis if you listen to your inner dialogue you can hear the scolding you can hear the parent tell you what you are doing wrong or how you are not good enough consequently we begin a war with ourselves and we start to criticize ourselves the way our parents have been criticizing us you&#39;re stupid you&#39;re not good enough you don&#39;t do it right screw it up again it becomes a habit pattern when we become adults most of us totally ignore the child within us or we criticize the child in the same way we used to be criticized we continue the pattern over and over again I once heard John Bradshaw author of several marvelous books on healing the inner child say that each of us has 25 000 hours of parent tapes within us by the time we are adults how many hours of those tapes do you think are telling you how wonderful you are how much says that you are loved or that you are bright and intelligent or that you could do anything you wanted to and would grow up to be the greatest person in reality how many hours of those tapes are saying no no no in all its many forms it&#39;s no wonder we say no to ourselves or should all the time we are responding to those old tapes however they are only tapes and are not the reality of your being they are not the truth of your existence they are just tapes you carry Within and they can be erased or re-recorded every time you say that you are scared realize it is the child in you who&#39;s scared the grown-up really isn&#39;t afraid yet the adult isn&#39;t being there for the child the adult and the child need to develop a loving relationship with each other talk to each other about everything you do I know it may sound silly but it works let the child know that no matter what happens you will never turn away or run away you will always be there for it and love it for instance if when you were very young you had a bad experience with a dog that is maybe it scared you or even bit you the little child inside could still be frightened of dogs even though now you are a great big adult you may see a dog on the street that is Tiny But the little child inside you reacts in a total panic it says dog I&#39;m gonna be hurt this is a wonderful opportunity for the adult inside of you to say to the child it&#39;s okay I&#39;m grown up now I will take care of you I won&#39;t let that dog hurt you you don&#39;t have to be frightened anymore start comforting your own child in this way healing the hurts of the past I have found that working with the inner child is most valuable in helping to heal the hurts of the past we are not always in touch with the feelings of the frightened little child within us if your childhood was full of fear and battling and you now mentally beat yourself up you are continuing to treat your inner child in much the same way the child inside however has no place to go you need to go beyond your parents limitations you need to connect with the little Lost Child inside he or she needs to know that you care take a moment now and tell your child that you care I care for you I love you I really love you maybe you&#39;ve been saying this to the big person the adult inside you so start talking now to the little child visualize that you are taking him or her by the hand and go everywhere together for a few days and see what wonderfully joyous experiences you can have together you need to communicate with that part of yourself what are the messages you want to hear sit down quietly close your eyes and talk to your child if you haven&#39;t talked to them in 62 years it may take a few times before the child will believe that you really want to talk to it be persistent I want to talk to you I want to see you I want to love you and you will eventually connect you may see the child inside you you may feel it or you may hear it one of the statements that you can make when you first talk to your child is an apology say that you are sorry that you haven&#39;t talked to it in all these years or that you are sorry for scolding it for so long tell the child you want to make up for all the time spent apart from each other ask it how you can make it happy ask the child what frightens it ask how you can help and ask what it wants from you start out with simple questions and you will get the answers what can I do to make you happy what would you like today for instance you can say to the child I&#39;m going to work what do you want to do they may answer go to the beach the communication will have begun in your mind&#39;s eye see them going to the beach and having fun be consistent if you can take just a few moments a day to begin to connect with the little person inside of you life is going to be a lot better communicating with your inner child some of you may already be doing inner child work there are many books on the subject and many workshops and lectures are given about it self-parenting by John Pollard III is excellent and it&#39;s filled with wonderful exercises and activities that you can do with your inner child if you are serious about doing practical work with your inner child I recommend that you pick up this book as I&#39;ve said before there is a lot of help offered in this area you are not alone and helpless but you need to reach out and ask for help so that you can get assistance another suggestion I have is to find a photograph of yourself as a child and really look at the photograph do you see a miserable little kid do you see a happy child whatever you see connect with it if you see a frightened child ask why it was frightened and start doing something to make it feel better find several photos of your younger self and talk to the child in each photo it also helps to talk to your child in the mirror if you had a nickname as a child use that name have a box of tissues handy I suggest that you sit down in front of a mirror because if you&#39;re standing as soon as it gets difficult you will run out the door instead sit down with your box of tissues and start talking another exercise you can do is to communicate through writing again lots of information will surface use two different colored pens or felt markers with one colored pen in your dominant hand write a question with the other colored pen in your non-dominant hand let your child write the answer it&#39;s a very fascinating exercise when you are writing the question the adult thinks it knows the answer but by the time you pick up the pen with the awkward hand the answer often comes out quite differently than expected you can draw together too many of you probably love drawing and coloring when you were little children until you were told to be neat and not to draw outside of the lines so begin drawing again use your non-dominant hand to draw a picture about an event that just happened and notice how you feel ask your child a question and just let it draw with the non-dominant hand and see what it shows if you can get together with others in small core groups or support groups you can work on these ideas together you can all let your inner children draw pictures then you can sit around and discuss what the pictures mean the information you receive can be surprisingly insightful play with your little child do things that your child likes to do when you were little what did you really like to do and when was the last time you did it too often the parent inside us stops us from having fun because it&#39;s not the adult thing to do so take the time to play and have fun do the silly things you did when you were young such as jumping in piles of leaves and running under the Hose Spray watch other children at play it will bring back memories of the games you played if you want more fun in your life make the connection with your inner child and come from that space of spontaneity and joy I promise that you will start having more fun in your life were you welcomed as a child were your parents really glad you were born were they delighted with your sexuality or did they want the opposite sex did you feel you were wanted as a child was there a celebration when you arrived whatever the responses were then welcome your child now create a celebration tell it all the wonderful things you would tell a little baby who was welcomed into its new life what is it you always wanted your parents to tell you when you were a child what was it they never said that you wanted to hear all right tell your child that very thing tell it to your child every day for a month while looking in the mirror and see what happens if you had alcoholic or abusive parents as a child you can meditate and visualize them as sober gentle people give your child what it wants it has probably been deprived for too long start visualizing the sort of life you would like to have with this child when the child feels safe and happy it can trust you ask what do I need to do so that you can trust me again you&#39;ll be amazed at some of the answers if you had parents who are not loving at all and it&#39;s really hard for you to relate to them find a picture of what you think a loving father or a loving mother looks like put the pictures of the loving parents around the photo of yourself as a child create some new images rewrite your childhood if you must the beliefs that you learned when you were little are still inside the child if your parents had rigid ideas and you&#39;re very hard on yourself or tend to build walls your child is probably still following your parents rules if you continue to pick on yourself for every mistake it must be very scary for your inner child to wake up in the morning what are you going to yell at me about today what our parents did to us in the past was their consciousness we are the parents now we are using our consciousness if you are still refusing to take care of the little child you are stuck in self-righteous resentment invariably it means there is still someone to forgive so what is it you haven&#39;t forgiven yourself for what do you need to let go of well whatever it is just let it go if we are not giving the child praise and attention now our parents aren&#39;t the blame they were doing what they thought was right in that particular space and time however now in the present moment we know what we can do to nourish the child within us those of you who have had or have a pet know what it&#39;s like to come home and have the pet greet you at the door it doesn&#39;t care what you&#39;re wearing it doesn&#39;t care how old you are or if you have wrinkles or how much money you made today the animal only cares that you&#39;re there it loves you unconditionally do that for yourself be thrilled that you are alive and that you are here you are the one person you are going to live with forever until you are willing to love your inner child it&#39;s very hard for other people to love you accept yourself unconditionally and open-heartedly I find that it is often very helpful to create a meditation to help your child feel safe since I was a child of incest I invented a wonderful imagery for my little girl first of all she has a fairy godmother who looks just like Billy Burke in The Wizard of Oz because that&#39;s what really appeals to her I know that when I&#39;m not with her she is with her fairy godmother and she is always safe she also lives in a penthouse way high up with a doorman and two large dogs so she knows that no one will ever hurt her again when I can make her feel absolutely safe then I as the adult can help her to release the old painful experiences there was a time recently when I got off center and cried for two hours I realized that the little child in me suddenly felt very hurt and unprotected I had to tell her that she wasn&#39;t bad or wrong rather that she was reacting to something that had happened so as quickly as I was able to I did some affirmations and meditated knowing that there was a power far greater that would support and love me after that the little girl didn&#39;t feel so afraid and alone I&#39;m also a great believer in teddy bears when you were very little often your teddy bear was your very first friend it was your confident because you could tell it all your secrets and troubles and it never snitched on you it was always there for you take your teddy bear out of the closet now and let your child have it once again or buy a new one I think it would also be marvelous for hospitals to supply teddy bears in all the beds so that when the little child in US feels alone and frightened in the middle of the night they could have a teddy bear to hug the many parts of you relationships are wonderful marriages are wonderful but the reality is they are all temporary however your relationship with you is eternal it goes on forever love the family within you the child the parent the teenager and your own adult remember there is a teenager inside you too welcome that teenager work with the teen as you work with the little child what were all the difficulties that you went through as a teenager ask your teen the question that you ask your child help the teenager through the intimidating episodes and apprehensive moments of puberty and Beyond make these times okay learn to love your teenager as you learn to love your child and yourself we can&#39;t love and accept each other until we love and accept that Lost Child within us how old is the little Lost Child within you three four five usually the child is less than five years old because that is generally when the child shuts down out of the need to survive take your child by the hand and love it create a wonderful life for you and your child say to yourself I&#39;m willing to learn to love my child I am willing the universe will respond you will find ways to heal your child and yourself if we want to heal we must be willing to feel our feelings and move through them to the other side for the healing remember our higher power is always available to support us in our efforts no matter what your Early Childhood was like the best or the worst you and only you are in charge of your life now you can spend your time blaming your parents or your early environment but all that accomplishes is to keep you stuck in victim patterns it never helps you get the good you say you want love is the biggest eraser I know love erases even the deepest and most painful memories because Love Goes deeper than anything else if your mental images of the past are very strong and you keep affirming it&#39;s all their fault you stay stuck do you want a life of pain or one of joy the choice and power are always within you look into your eyes and love you and the little child Within chapter 10 growing up and getting old be as understanding with your parents as you want them to be with you communicating with our parents when I was growing up my teenage years were the most difficult of all I had so many questions but I did not want to listen to those who thought they had the answers especially adults I wanted to learn everything by myself because I did not trust the information that grown-ups gave me I felt particular animosity towards my parents because I was an abused child I could not understand how my stepfather could treat me the way he did nor could I understand how my mother could simply ignore what he was doing to me I felt cheated and misunderstood and I was certain that my family specifically and the world in general were against me through my many years spent in the counseling of others particularly young people I have found that many people share the same feelings about their parents that I had about mine some of the words I hear teenagers use to describe how they feel are trapped judged watched and misunderstood of course it would be great to have parents who would be accommodating in any given situation however in most cases that is not possible Although our parents are merely human beings like the rest of us we often feel that they are being unfair and unreasonable and have no understanding of what we are going through one young man I counseled had a very difficult time relating to his father he felt that they had nothing in common and when his father spoke to him it was simply to utter some negative or belittling comment I asked the young man if he knew how his grandfather had treated his father and he admitted that he didn&#39;t his grandfather had died before the young man was born I suggested that he asked his father about his own childhood and how it affected him at first the young man was hesitant because it was uncomfortable to talk to his father without feeling he would be ridiculed or judged however he took the plunge and agreed to approach his father the next time I saw him the young man seemed more at ease wow he exclaimed I didn&#39;t realize what kind of a childhood my own father had apparently his grandfather had insisted that all of his children address him as sir and they lived by the old standard the children were to be seen but not heard if they dared to utter one contrary word they were severely beaten no wonder his father was critical when we grow up many of us have the good intentions of treating our children differently than the way we were treated however we learn from the world around us and sooner or later we began to sound and act just like our parents in the case of this young man his father inflicted the same kind of verbal abuse on his son that his own father had heaped on him he may not have intended to do so he was merely acting in a way consistent with his own upbringing however the young man came to understand a little more about his father and as a result they were able to communicate more freely although it would take some effort and patience on both their parts before their level of communication would be ideal at least they were moving in the right direction I strongly believe that it is very important for all of us to take the time to find out more about our parents childhoods if your parents are still alive you can ask them what was it like when you were growing up what was love like in your family how did your parents punish you what kind of peer pressure did you have to face in those days did your parents like your friends did you have a job while you were growing up by learning more about our parents we can see the patterns that have shaped who they are and in turn see why they treat us as they do as we learn to empathize with our parents we will see them in a new more loving light you may be able to open doors to a more communicative loving relationship one that has mutual respect and Trust if you have difficulty even talking with your parents first start in your mind or in front of the mirror imagine yourself telling them there&#39;s something I want to speak to you about I want you to know who I am go through this process several days in a row it will help you decide what you want to say and how to say it or do a meditation and in your mind talk to each of your parents and clean up your old issues forgive them and forgive yourself tell them you love them then prepare to tell them the same things in person at one of my groups a young man told me he had a lot of anger and that he didn&#39;t trust others he recycled this pattern of distrust over and over again in all his relationships when we got to the root of the problem he told me that he was so angry with his father for not being the person he wanted him to be again when we are on a spiritual pathway it&#39;s not up to us to change the other person first of all we need to release all the pent-up feelings we Harbor against our parents and then we need to forgive them for not being who we wanted them to be we always want everyone else to be like us to think like us to dress like us to do what we do however as you know we are all so very different in order to have the space to be ourselves we need to give that space to others by forcing our parents to be something that they are not we cut off our own love we judge our parents just the way that they judge us if we want to share with our parents we need to begin by erasing our own preconceived judgments of them many of you continue to have power struggle games with your parents as you grow older parents push a lot of buttons so if you want to stop playing the game you are going to have to stop taking a part in it it&#39;s time for you to grow up and decide what you want you can begin by calling your parents by their first names calling the Mommy and Daddy when you are in your 40s only keeps you stuck in the little child World start becoming two adults instead of parent and child another suggestion is to write an affirmative treatment that details the kind of relationship you want with your mother and or father begin declaring these words for yourself after a while you can tell him or her face to face if your mother or father is still pushing your buttons you are not letting either of them know how you really feel you have a right to have the life you want you have a right to be an adult it may not be easy I know first decide what it is that you need and then tell your mother or father what that is don&#39;t make them wrong ask how can we work this out remember with understanding comes forgiveness and with forgiveness comes love when we progress to the point where we can love and forgive our parents we will be well on our way to being able to enjoy fulfilling relationships with everyone in our lives teens need self-esteem it alarms me that the rate of suicide among our teenagers is so on the rise it seems that more and more young people feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life and would just as soon give up rather than to persevere and experience the multitude of Adventures that life has to offer much of this problem has to do with the way we as adults expect them to respond to life situations do we want them to react as we would do we bombard them with negativity the period between 10 and 15 can be a very critical time children in that age group have the tendency to conform and they will do anything to be accepted by their peers in their need for acceptance they often hide their true feelings for fear they will not be accepted and loved for whom they really are the peer pressure and societal stress that I experienced when I was young pale in comparison to that which today&#39;s young people must endure And yet when I was 15 due to physical and mental abuse I left home and school to be on my own think how jarring it must be for the child of today to have to deal with drug abuse physical abuse sexually transmitted diseases peer pressure and gangs family problems and on a global level threat of nuclear war environmental upheavals crime and so much more as a parent you can discuss the differences between negative and positive peer pressure with your team peer pressure is all around us from the moment we&#39;re born until the day we leave the planet we must learn how to deal with it and not let it control us similarly it is important for us to gain some knowledge and understanding of why our children are shy mischievous sad slow in school destructive Etc children are strongly influenced by the thinking feeling patterns established in the home and he or she makes daily choices and decisions from that belief system if the home environment is not conducive to trusting and loving the child will seek trust love and compassion elsewhere many gangs are a place where children feel safe they form a family bond No matter how dysfunctional it is I truly believe that a lot of hardships could be avoided if we could only get young people to ask themselves one important question before they act will this make me feel better about myself we can help our teenagers see their choices in each situation choice and responsibility put power back into their hands it enables them to do something without feeling like victims of the system if we can teach children that they are not victims and that it is possible for them to change their experiences by taking responsibility for their own lives we will begin to see major breakthroughs it is vitally important to keep the lines of communication open with children especially when they&#39;re in their teen years usually what happens when children start to talk about their likes and dislikes is that they are told over and over again don&#39;t say that don&#39;t do that don&#39;t feel that don&#39;t be that way don&#39;t express that don&#39;t don&#39;t don&#39;t and eventually the children stop communicating and sometimes leave home if you want to have your children around as you grow older keep the lines of communication open when they are younger applaud your child&#39;s uniqueness allow your teenagers to express themselves in their own style even if you think it&#39;s just a fad don&#39;t make them wrong or tear them down goodness knows I&#39;ve been through many many fads in my lifetime and so will you and your teenagers what do you really want for your children is an excellent book by Wayne Dyer children learn from our actions children never do what we tell them to do they do what we do we can&#39;t say don&#39;t smoke or don&#39;t drink or don&#39;t do drugs if we do them we have to serve as examples and live the sort of life we want our children to express when parents are willing to work on loving themselves it&#39;s amazing to see the harmony that is achieved within the family children respond with a new sense of self-esteem and start to value and respect who they are an exercise in self-esteem that you and your children can do together is to make a list of some of the goals you would like to achieve ask your children to write down how they see themselves in 10 years in one year in three months what kind of lives do they want to have what kind of friends would be most beneficial have them list their goals with short descriptions of each as well as how they can make their dreams come true and you do the same all of you might keep the list nearby to remind yourself of your goals in three months time go over the list together have the goals changed don&#39;t let your children beat themselves up if they didn&#39;t get as far as they wanted they can always revise their lists what is most important to give young people is something positive to look forward to separation and divorce if there is separation and or divorce in the family it is important that each parent be supportive it&#39;s very stressful for a child to be told that the other parent is no good as the parent you want to love yourself through the fears and anger as much as possible the children will pick up feelings from you if you&#39;re going through a lot of turmoil and pain they will surely pick that up from you explain to your children that your stuff has nothing to do with them and their inner worth don&#39;t let them get the idea that anything that&#39;s happened is their fault because that&#39;s what most children think let them know that you love them very much and will always be there for them I suggest you do mirror work with your children every morning do affirmations that will get you through the trying times easily and effortlessly so that everyone will be okay release your painful experiences with love and affirm happiness for all concerned there&#39;s a wonderful group called the California state task force to promote self-esteem and personal and social responsibility it was created in 1987 by assemblyman John vasconcellus among the appointed members of Jack Canfield and Dr Emmett Miller I support its efforts in researching and making recommendations to the government to bring self-esteem programs into the schools other states are following suit by including self-esteem curriculum in the classroom look into these groups I believe that we are on the brink of some major changes in our society especially with regard to understanding our own self-worth if teachers especially can get their own self-worth on the right track they will help our children tremendously children reflect the social and economic pressures with which we are faced any program having to do with self-esteem will need to Encompass students parents and teachers as well as businesses and organizations growing older graciously so many of us fear growing old and looking old we make growing old so terrible and unattractive yet it is a normal and natural process of living if we can&#39;t accept our inner child and be comfortable with who we were and Who We Are how can we accept the next stage if you don&#39;t grow old what is the alternative you leave the planet as a culture we have created what I call youth worship it&#39;s all very well and good to love ourselves at certain ages but why can&#39;t we love ourselves as we get older we will eventually go through every age of life many women feel a lot of anxiety and fear when they think about getting old the gay community also deals with a lot of issues having to do with youth and looks and loss of beauty getting old May mean getting wrinkles and gray hair and saggy skin and yes I want to grow old it&#39;s all part of being here we are on this planet to experience every part of life I can understand that we don&#39;t want to get old and sick so let&#39;s separate those two ideas let&#39;s not imagine or Envision ourselves getting sick as a way to die I do not personally believe that we have to die with illness instead when it is our time to leave when we have accomplished what we came here to do we can take a nap or go to bed at night and leave peacefully we don&#39;t have to become deathly ill we don&#39;t have to be hooked to machines we don&#39;t have to lie suffering in a nursing home in order to leave the planet there&#39;s a tremendous amount of information available on how to stay healthy don&#39;t put it off do it now when we get older we want to feel wonderful so we can continue to experience new adventures I read something a while ago that intrigued me it was an article about a San Francisco medical school that had discovered that the way we age is not determined by genes but by something they call the Aging set point a biological time clock that exists in our minds this mechanism actually monitors when and how we begin to age the set point or aging clock is regulated in great part by one important factor our attitudes towards getting old for instance if you believe that 35 is middle aged that belief triggers biological changes in your body that cause it to accelerate the aging process when you reach 35. isn&#39;t that fascinating somewhere somehow we decide what is middle age and what is old age where are you setting that aging set point within you I have this image in my mind that I&#39;m going to live to be 96 years and still be active so it&#39;s very important that I keep myself healthy remember too what we give out we get back be aware of how you treat older people because when you get old that will be the way you are treated if you believe certain Concepts about old people again you are forming ideas that your subconscious will respond to our beliefs our thoughts our Concepts about life and about ourselves always become true for us remember I believe that you choose your parents before you were born in order to learn valuable lessons your higher self knew the experiences that were necessary for you to proceed on your spiritual course so whatever you came to work out with your parents get on with it no matter what they say or do or said or did you are here ultimately To Love Yourself as parents allow your children to love themselves by giving them the space to feel safe and to express themselves in positive harmless ways remember too just as we choose our parents our children also chose us there are important lessons for all of us to work out parents who love themselves will find it easier to teach their children about self-love when we feel good about ourselves we can teach our children self-worth by example the more we work on loving ourselves the more our children will realize that it&#39;s an okay thing to do part four applying your inner wisdom all the theories in the world are useless unless there is action positive change and finally healing chapter 11 receiving prosperity when we get frightened we want to control everything and then we shut off the flow of good trust life everything we need is here for us power within us is willing to give us our fond streams and enormous plenty instantaneously the problem is that we are not open to receiving it if we want something our higher power doesn&#39;t say I&#39;ll think about it it readily responds and sends it through but we have to be ready for it if not it goes back into the storehouse of unfulfilled desires many people come to my lectures and sit with their arms folded across their bodies and I think how are they going to let anything in It&#39;s a Wonderful symbolic gesture to open our arms wide so the universe notices and responds for many it&#39;s very scary because if they open themselves up they will think they may get terrible things and they probably will until they change whatever it is inside them that believes they will attract Doom and Gloom when we use the term Prosperity a lot of people immediately think of money however there are many other Concepts that come under the auspices of prosperity such as time love success Comfort Beauty knowledge relationships health and of course money if you are always feeling rushed because there isn&#39;t enough time to do everything you want then you have a lack of time you are poor in time if you feel that success is beyond your reach then you are not going to get it if you feel life is burdensome and strenuous then you will always feel uncomfortable if you think you don&#39;t know very much and you&#39;re too dumb to figure things out you will never feel connected to the wisdom of the universe if you feel a lack of love and have poor relationships then it will be difficult for you to attract love into your life what about beauty there is beauty all around us do you experience the beauty that is abundant on the planet or do you see everything as ugly and wasteful and dirty how is your health are you sick all the time do you catch colds easily do you get many aches and pains and then there is money many of you tell me there is never enough money in your lives what do you let yourself have or perhaps you feel you are on a fixed income who fixed it none of the above has anything to do with receiving people always think oh I want to get this and that and whatever however abundance and prosperity is about allowing yourself to accept when you are not getting what you want on some level you are not allowing yourself to accept if we are stingy with life then life will be stingy with us if we steal from life life will steal from us being honest with ourselves honesty is a word we use a lot not always understanding the true significance of what it means to be honest it has nothing to do with morality or being a goody-goody being honest really has little to do with getting caught or going to jail it is an act of love for ourselves the main value of honesty is that whatever we give out in life we will get back the law of cause and effect is always operating on all levels if we belittle or judge others then we too are judged if we are always angry then we encounter anger wherever we go the love we have for ourselves Keeps Us in tune with the love life has for us for instance imagine that your apartment has just been burglarized do you immediately think that you&#39;re a victim my apartment was just ripped off who did this to me it is a devastating feeling when something like that happens however do you stop to think of how and why you attracted the experience again taking responsibility for creating our own experiences is not an idea that many of us want to accept all the time perhaps just some of the time it is so much easier to blame something outside of ourselves yet our spiritual growth cannot occur until we recognize that there is little of value outside of us everything comes from within when I hear that someone has just been robbed or experienced some kind of loss the first question I ask is whom did you steal from lately if a curious look comes over their face I know I have touched a tender spot if we think back to a time when we took something and then think of what we lost shortly thereafter the connection between the two experiences can be an eye-opener when we take something that isn&#39;t ours we almost always lose something of greater value we might take money or some object and then we might lose a relationship if we steal a relationship we might lose a job if we lift stamps and pens from the office we might miss a train or a dinner date the losses almost always hurt us in some important area of Our Lives it&#39;s unfortunate that many people steal from large companies department stores restaurants or hotels and so on rationalizing that these businesses can afford it this type of rationalization does not work the law of cause and effect continues to operate for each one of us if we take we lose if we give we get it cannot be otherwise if there are many losses in your life or many things are going wrong you might examine the ways in which you are taking some people who would not dream of stealing things will self-righteously rob another person of time or self-esteem each time we make another person feel guilty we are stealing self-worth from them to be truly honest on all levels takes a great deal of self-examination and self-awareness when we take something that does not belong to us we are in effect instructing the universe that we don&#39;t feel worthy of earning we aren&#39;t good enough we want to be stolen from or we believe there is not enough to go around we believe that we must be sneaky and grab to get our good these beliefs become effective walls around us that prevent us from experiencing abundance and joy in our lives these negative beliefs are not the truth of our being we are magnificent and deserve the very best this planet is abundantly plentiful our good always comes to us by the right of consciousness the work we do in Consciousness is always one of refining what we say and think and do when we clearly understand that our thoughts create our reality then we use our reality as a feedback mechanism to let us know what we need to change next being absolutely honest down to the last paper clip is a choice we make out of love for ourselves honesty helps to make our lives run more smoothly and more easily if you go to a store and they don&#39;t charge you for something you&#39;ve bought and you know it then it&#39;s your spiritual obligation to tell them so if you are aware you call it to their attention if you don&#39;t know it or only realize it when you get home or two days later then that&#39;s something different if dishonesty brings disharmony into our lives imagine what love and honesty can create the good in our lives the wonderful surprises we have these two we have created as we look within ourselves with honesty and unconditional love we will discover so much about our power what we can learn to create with our own Consciousness has far greater value than any amount of money we could possibly steal your home is your sanctuary everything is a reflection of what you believe you deserve look at your home is it a place that you really love to live in is it comfortable and joyous or cramped dirty and always messy the same with your car do you like it how does it reflect the love you have for yourself are your clothes a bother and a nuisance and something you have to deal with your clothes are also a reflection of how you feel about yourself again the thoughts we have about ourselves can always be changed if you want to find a new home Begin by opening yourself up to finding the right place and affirm that it is waiting for you when I was looking for a new home in Los Angeles I couldn&#39;t believe that I would only find appalling places I kept thinking that this is Los Angeles and it&#39;s filled with wonderful Apartments so where are they it took me six months to find the one I wanted and it was magnificent during the time I was looking the building was being constructed and when it was finished I found it waiting for me if you look for something but you&#39;re not finding it there is probably a good reason if you want to move from where you are because you don&#39;t like it thank your present home for being there appreciate it for Sheltering you from the weather if it&#39;s difficult to like it start with one part of the house that you like it may be a corner of your bedroom don&#39;t say I hate this little place because if you do you&#39;re not going to find something that you love love where you are so you can be open to receiving a wonderful new home if your home is messy and cluttered then start cleaning it up your home is a reflection of your mind loving relationships I&#39;m a great admirer of Dr Bernie Siegel the Connecticut surgeon who has written love medicine and miracles Dr Siegel has learned much from his cancer patients and I would like to share what he says about unconditional love many people especially cancer patients grow up believing that there is some terrible flaw at the center of their being a defect they must hide if they are to have any chance for love feeling unloved and unlovable and condemned to loneliness if their true selves became known such individuals set up defenses against sharing their innermost feelings with anyone because such people feel a profound emptiness inside they come to see all relationships and transactions in terms of getting something to fulfill the vaguely understood void Within they give love only on condition that they get something for it and this leads to an Ever deeper sense of emptiness which keeps the Vicious Cycle going whenever I give a lecture and allow my audience the opportunity to ask questions I can always count on being asked one thing in particular how can I create healthy lasting relationships all relationships are important because they reflect how you feel about yourself if you are constantly beating yourself up by thinking that everything that goes wrong is your fault or that you are always a victim then you are going to attract the type of relationships that reinforce those beliefs in you one woman told me that she was in a relationship with a very caring and loving man yet she had a need to test his love so I asked her why would you test his love she said that she felt Unworthy of his love because she wasn&#39;t loving herself enough so I suggested that three times a day she stand with her arms open and say I am willing to let the love in it&#39;s safe to let the love in then I told her to look into her own eyes and say I deserve and I am willing to have even if I don&#39;t deserve too often you deny your good because you don&#39;t believe you can have it for instance you want to get married or have a long lasting relationship the person you go out with has four of the qualities you want in a partner you know you&#39;re on your way you want a little more of this or want to add a little something new to your list depending on how much you believe you deserve to be loved you may have to go through a dozen people before you get what you really want likewise if you believe that a higher power has surrounded you with truly loving people or that everyone you meet or know brings only good into your life then those are the types of relationships you will ultimately draw to yourself codependent relationships personal relationships always seem to be the first priority for many of us perhaps you are always searching for love hunting for love doesn&#39;t bring the right partner because the reasons for wanting love are unclear we think oh if I only had someone who loved me my life would be all better that&#39;s not the way it works one exercise that I recommend is to write down the qualities you want from a relationship such as fun intimacy open and positive communication Etc and look at your list are these standards impossible to fulfill which of these requirements could you supply yourself there&#39;s a big difference between the need for love and being needy for love when you are needy for love it simply means that you are missing love and approval from the most important person you know yourself you become involved in relationships that are codependent and ineffectual for both partners when we need someone else to fulfill us we are codependent when we rely on another to take care of us so that we don&#39;t have to do it ourselves we become codependent many of us from dysfunctional families have learned codependency from the way we grew up I believe for years that I was not good enough and I sought love and approval wherever I went if you are always telling the other person what to do then you are probably trying to manipulate the relationship on the other hand if you are working to change your own inner patterns then you are allowing things to happen in the right course take a moment to stand in front of a mirror and think about some of your own negative childhood beliefs that have been affecting your relationships can you see how you are still recreating the same beliefs think of some positive childhood beliefs do they hold the same charge for you as the negative ones tell yourself that the negative beliefs no longer serve you and replace them with new positive affirmations you may want to write down the new beliefs and place them where you can see them every day again be patient with yourself persevere with the new belief as much as you did with the old one there were many times when I slipped back into Old patterns before my new beliefs took root remember when you are able to contribute to the Fulfillment of your own needs then you will not be so needy so codependent it all begins with how much you love yourself when you truly love yourself you stay centered calm and secure and your relationships at home as well as at work are wonderful you will find yourself reacting to various situations and people differently matters that once may have been desperately important won&#39;t be quite as important anymore new people will enter your life and perhaps some old ones will disappear which can be scary at first and also wonderful refreshing and exciting once you know what you want in a relationship you must go out and be with people no one is going to suddenly appear at your doorstep a good way to meet people is in a support group it enables you to connect with people who are like-minded or who are involved in the same interests it&#39;s amazing how quickly you can meet new friends there are many groups and classes available in cities all around the world you need to seek these groups out it helps when you associate with people traveling a similar path an affirmation I suggest is I am open and receptive to wonderful good experiences coming into my life it&#39;s much better than saying I&#39;m looking for a new lover be open and receptive and the universe will respond for your highest good you will find that as your self-love grows so will your self-respect and any changes that you find yourself needing to make will be easier to accomplish when you know that they are the right ones for you Love Is Never outside yourself it is always within you as you are more loving you will be more lovable beliefs about money having fear about the issue of money comes from our early childhood programming a woman at one of my workshops said that her wealthy father had always had a fear of going broke and he had passed on the fear that money would be taken away she grew up being afraid that she wouldn&#39;t be taken care of her Freedom with money was tied to the fact that her father manipulated his family through guilt she had plenty of money all her life and her lesson was to let go of the fear that she couldn&#39;t take care of herself even without all the money she still could take care of herself many of our parents grew up in the depression and many of us have inherited beliefs When We Were Young such as we may starve or we may never find work or we may lose our home or our car or whatever very few children say no that&#39;s nonsense children accept it and say yes that&#39;s right make a list of your parents beliefs about money ask yourself if you are still choosing to believe them now you will want to go beyond your parents limitations and fears because your life is not the same now stop repeating these old beliefs to yourself begin transforming the pictures in your mind when an opportunity comes up don&#39;t Echo your past history of lack begin proclaiming the new message for today you can begin now to affirm that it&#39;s okay to have money and riches and that you will use your money wisely it is normal and natural for us to have more money at certain times than others if we can trust the power within us to always take care of us no matter what we can easily flow through the lean times knowing that we will have more in the future money isn&#39;t the answer although many of us think that if we have a lot of money everything will be fine we won&#39;t have any more problems or worries but money is truly not the answer some of us have all the money that we could ever need and we still aren&#39;t happy be grateful for what you have a gentleman I knew told me that he felt guilty because he couldn&#39;t pay back his friends for the kindness and gifts they gave him when he was not doing so well I told him that there are times when the universe gives to us in whatever form we may need and we may not be able to give back at that time in whatever way the universe has decided to respond to your needs be grateful there will come a time when you will help someone else it may not be with money but with time or compassion sometimes we don&#39;t realize that these things can be more valuable than money I can think of many people during the early days of my life who help me enormously at a time when there was no way for me to pay them back years later I&#39;ve taken the opportunity to help others too often we feel we must exchange Prosperity we must reciprocate if someone takes us to lunch we immediately have to take them out to lunch or somebody gives us a gift and we immediately have to buy one for them we could learn to receive with thanks learn to accept because the universe perceives our openness to receive as not just exchanging prosperity much of our problem stems from our inability to receive we can give but it&#39;s so difficult to receive when someone gives you a gift smile and say thank you if you say to that person oh it&#39;s the wrong size of the wrong color I guarantee the person won&#39;t ever give you another gift sept graciously and if it really isn&#39;t right for you give it to someone else who can use it we want to be grateful for what we do have so that we can attract more good to us if we focus on lack then we will draw it to us if we are in debt we need to forgive ourselves not berate ourselves we need to focus on the debt being paid off by doing affirmations and visualizations the best thing we can do for people who are having money problems is to teach them how to create it in Consciousness because then it&#39;s lasting it&#39;s much more lasting than handing them some money I&#39;m not saying don&#39;t give your money away but don&#39;t give it away because you feel guilty people seem to say well I have to help other people you&#39;re a people too you are somebody and you&#39;re worthy of prosperity your Consciousness is the best bank account you can have when you put in worthwhile thoughts you will reap large dividends tithing is a universal principle one of the ways to attract money into your life is to tithe tithing ten percent of your income has long been an established principle I like to think of it as giving back to life when we do that we seem to prosper more the churches have always wanted you to tithe to them it&#39;s one of their principal ways of gathering income in current years that has expanded to tithing to where you get your spiritual food who or what has nourished you on your quest for improving the quality of your life that could be the perfect place for you to tithe if tithing to a church or a person doesn&#39;t appeal to you there are many wonderful non-profit organizations that could benefit others by your contributions investigate and find the one that is right for you people often say I will tithe when I have more money of course then they never do if you are going to tithe start now and watch the blessings flow however if you only tithe to get more then you have missed the point it must be freely given or it won&#39;t work I feel that life has been very good to me and I gladly give to life in various ways there is so much abundance in this world just waiting for you to experience it if you would know that there is more money than you could ever spend or more people than you could ever meet and more joy that you could possibly imagine you would have everything you need and desire if you ask for your highest good then trust The Power Within to provide it for you be honest with yourself and others don&#39;t cheat not even a little it will only come back to you the infinite intelligence that permeates all says yes to you when something comes into your life don&#39;t push it away say yes to it open yourself to receiving good say yes to your world opportunity and prosperity will increase a hundred fold chapter 12. expressing your creativity when our inner Vision opens our Horizons expand our work is a Divine expression when people ask me about my purpose in life I tell them that my work is my purpose it is very sad to know that most people hate their jobs and even worse that they don&#39;t know what they want to do finding your life&#39;s purpose finding work that you love to do is loving Who You Are your work serves as your expression of creativity you need to go beyond your feelings of not being good enough or not knowing enough allow the Creative Energy of the universe to flow through you in ways that are deeply satisfying to you it doesn&#39;t matter what you do as long as it is satisfying to your being and it fulfills you if you hate where you work or hate what you&#39;re doing you will always feel the same about your job unless you change inside if you go to a new job with your same old work beliefs you will only feel the same way again in time part of the problem is that many people ask for what they want in a negative way one woman had a very difficult time stating what she wanted in a positive way she kept repeating I don&#39;t want this to be a part of the job or I don&#39;t want this to happen or I don&#39;t want to feel the negative energy there can you see that she was not declaring what she did want we need to be clear on what we want sometimes it&#39;s Troublesome to ask for what we want it&#39;s so easy to say what we don&#39;t want start declaring what you want your work to be my work is deeply fulfilling I help people I am able to be aware of what they need I work with people that love me I feel safe at all times or perhaps my work allows me to express my creativity freely I earn good money doing things I love or I am always happy at work my career is filled with joy and laughter and abundance always declare in the present tense what you declare you will get if you don&#39;t then there are beliefs within you that are refusing to accept your good make a list of what I believe about work you may be amazed at the negative beliefs within you you won&#39;t Prosper until you change those beliefs when you work at a job you hate you are shutting down your power to express itself think of the qualities you want in a job what it would feel like if you had the perfect job it is essential that you are clear about what you do want your higher self will find a job that is right for you if you don&#39;t know be willing to know open yourself to the wisdom that is inside you I learned early through science of mind that my job was to express life every time I was presented with a problem I knew it was an opportunity to grow and that the power that created me had given me everything I needed to solve that problem after my initial panic I would quiet my mind and turn Within I gave thanks for the opportunity to demonstrate the power of the Divine intelligence working through me when it one of my workshops wanted to be an actress her parents persuaded her to attend law school and she was under a lot of pressure from everyone around her to go into law however she stopped going after one month she decided to take an acting class because that is what she always wanted to do soon after she started having dreams that she was going nowhere in her life and she became miserable and depressed she was having a problem letting go of her doubts and had reservations about making the biggest mistake in her life which she feared she could never go back and change I asked her whose voice is that in there and she said those were the words that her father had told her several times there are many people who can relate to this young woman&#39;s story she wanted to act and her parents wanted her to be a lawyer she got to a point of confusion not knowing what to do she needed to understand that it was her father&#39;s way of saying I love you if she became a lawyer he felt she would be safe and secure and that&#39;s what he wanted however it&#39;s not what she wanted she had to do what was right for her life even if it did not meet her father&#39;s expectations I told her to sit in front of the mirror and look into her eyes and say I love you and I support you in having what you really want I&#39;m going to support you in every way that I can I told her to take the time to listen she needed to connect to her inner wisdom and realize that she didn&#39;t have to please anyone other than herself she could love her father and still fulfill herself she had the right to feel worthy and able to do it and she could tell her father I love you and I don&#39;t want to be a lawyer I want to be an actress or whatever it&#39;s one of our challenges to do what is right for us even when those who care about us have other ideas we are not here to fulfill other people&#39;s expectations when we have strong beliefs that we don&#39;t deserve we have problems doing what we want if other people tell you that you can&#39;t have and then you deny yourself the child inside you doesn&#39;t believe it deserves anything good again it comes back to learning and practicing ways to love yourself more each day I repeat do begin by writing down everything you believe about work and failure and success look at all the negatives and realize that those are the beliefs that keep you from flowing in this area you may find you have many beliefs that say you deserve to fail take each negative statement and turn it into a positive one begin to shape in your mind what you want your fulfilling work to be your income can come from many sources how many of us believe that we have to work hard to earn a good living especially in this country there is a work ethic that implies that one must work hard to be a good person and in addition to that work is drudgery I have found that if you work at what you love you can usually create a good income for yourself if you continually say I hate this job you will get nowhere whatever you are doing bring love and a positive attitude into it if you are in an uncomfortable situation look within to see what is the best lesson for you to learn from it one woman told me that her belief system allowed money to come to her from all sorts of unexpected sources her friends criticized her ability to draw wealth to her in her unique way and insisted that she had to work hard to earn money she said that they knew she didn&#39;t work hard at all so she began to run the fear that if she didn&#39;t work hard that meant that she didn&#39;t deserve the money she had her Consciousness was on the right track originally she needed to thank herself instead of becoming fearful she understood how to manifest abundance and her life was working in that area without any struggle however her friends wanted to pull her down because they all worked hard and they didn&#39;t have as much money as she did many times I reach out my hand to others and if they take it and want to learn new things and go places it&#39;s wonderful if they try and drag me down I say goodbye and I work with somebody who really wants to come up out of the mud if your life is filled with love and joy don&#39;t listen to some miserable lonely person who tells you how to run your life if your life is Rich and abundant don&#39;t listen to someone who is poor and in debt tell you how to run it very often our parents are the ones telling us how to do things they often come from a place of burden and hardship and misery and then try to tell us how to run our lives many people worry about the economy and believe they will either earn or lose money due to the economic situation at present however the economy is always moving up and down so it doesn&#39;t matter what is happening out there or what others do to change the economy we are not stuck because of the economy no matter what is happening out there in the world it only matters what you believe about yourself if you have a fear about becoming homeless ask yourself where am I not at home within myself where do I feel abandoned what do I need to do to experience inner peace all outer experiences reflect inner beliefs I have long used the affirmation my income is constantly increasing another affirmation I like is I go beyond my parents income level you see you have a right to earn more than your parents did it&#39;s almost a necessity as things cost more now women especially experience a lot of conflict with this one often they find it difficult to earn more than their fathers are earning they need to go beyond their feelings of not deserving and accept the abundance of financial wealth that is their divine right your job is only one of many channels of an infinite source of money money is not the object of your right work money can come to you in many ways and from many Avenues no matter how it comes accept it with joy and as a gift from the universe a young lady was complaining that her in-laws were buying her new baby all sorts of nice things and she could not afford to buy anything I reminded her that the Universe wanted that baby to be well supplied with an abundance of all good and used the in-laws as a channel to supply it she then could be grateful and appreciate the way in which the universe was providing for her baby relationships on the job the relationships we create at work are similar to the relationships we have as a family they can be healthy or they can be dysfunctional a woman once asked me as a person who is usually positive how do I deal with people in a work environment who are constantly negative first of all I thought it interesting that she was in a work environment where everybody was negative when she said she was positive I wondered why she was attracting negativity to her perhaps there was some negativity within her that she did not recognize I suggested that she start to believe for herself that she always worked in an area where it was peaceful and joyful where people really appreciated each other and life as a whole where there was respect on all sides instead of complaining how so-and-so had to do it his way she could affirm for herself that she always worked in the ideal place by adopting this philosophy she could either help bring out the best qualities in others because they would be responding differently to her inner changes or she would find herself in another work Arena where the conditions would be as she declared a man once told me that when he started his job he had all these incredible instincts and his job was wonderful and sailed along smoothly he was precise direct and satisfied suddenly he began to make mistakes every day and I asked him what he was frightened of could it be an old childhood fear that was surfacing was there someone at work with whom he was angry or was he trying to get even with somebody did that person remind him of one of his parents had this happened in other jobs it seemed to me that he was creating some chaos at work because of an old belief system he recognized that it was an old family pattern where he was ridiculed every time he made a mistake I suggested that he forgive his family and affirm that he now has wonderful harmonious relationships at work where people totally respect him and appreciate everything he does when you think of your co-workers don&#39;t think oh they&#39;re so negative everybody has every quality in them so respond to the good qualities that are in them and respect their peacefulness instead when you can focus on these qualities they will rise to the surface if others are constantly saying negative things don&#39;t pay attention you want to change your consciousness since they are reflecting something negative within you when your Consciousness really changes negative people won&#39;t be around very much even if you feel frustrated start affirming what you want to have in your workspace then accept it with joy and Thanksgiving one woman had an opportunity at work to do what she loved and to grow from the experience however she would constantly get sick and sabotage herself she recalled that when she was a child she was always getting sick because it was her way of getting love and affection so she kept recreating the pattern of getting sick as an adult what she needed to learn was how to get love and affection in a more positive way when anything went wrong at work she went right back to being the five-year-old girl so when she began to take care of her little inner child she also learned to feel safe and to accept her power competition and comparison are two major stumbling blocks to your creativity your uniqueness sets you apart from all others there has never been another person like you since time began so what is there to compare or compete with comparison either makes you feel Superior or inferior which are expressions of your ego your limited mind thinking if you are going to compare to make yourself feel a little bit better then you are saying somebody else isn&#39;t good enough if you put others down you may think you will raise yourself up what you really do is put yourself in a position to be criticized by others we all do this on some level and it&#39;s good when we can transcend it becoming enlightened is to go within and Shine the Light upon yourself so that you can dissolve whatever darkness is in there I want to say again that everything changes and what was perfect for you once may not be anymore in order for you to keep changing and growing you keep going within and listening for that which is right for you in the Here and Now changing the way we do business for the past several years I&#39;ve owned my own business my motto has been that we open the mail and answer the phone and handle what is in front of us and there is always plenty to do as we did this day by day the business Grew From a few people to well over 20 employees we established our business on spiritual principles using affirmations to open and close meetings we realize that many other businesses ran on competition often condemning others or greed and we did not want to put that energy out to others knowing that it would come back to us we decided that if we were going to live by the philosophy we were not going to operate under the old concepts of doing business if problems arose we would spend time affirming what we wanted to change we also had a soundproof screaming room where employees could let off steam without being heard or judged it was also a place where they could meditate or relax and we supplied it with plenty of tapes for people to listen to it became a safe haven in times of difficulty I remember a time when we were having many problems with our computer system and every day something would break down because I believe machines reflect our Consciousness I realized that many of us were sending negative energy to the computers and we were expecting them to constantly break down I had an affirmation programmed into the computer good morning how are you today I work well when I am loved and I love you in the morning when everyone turned on their computers that message would appear it&#39;s amazing how we had no more problems with our computers sometimes we think of things that happen especially at work as disasters but we must look at them for what they are simply life experiences that always teach us something I know that I have never had a disaster that did not end up a good learning experience in the end often moving me to a much better level in life for instance recently my company Hay House was not doing so well like the economy our sales would go up and down and it appeared that sales were down and staying that way at least for the moment however we did not adjust to that and month after month we were spending more than we took in anyone who has owned a business knows that that is not the way to do it eventually it looked as if I would lose my business if I didn&#39;t take some drastic measures those drastic measures included letting go of over half my staff you can imagine how difficult it was for me to do that I remember walking into the conference room where all my staff had gathered to deliver the news I was in tears but I knew it had to be done as difficult as it was for all of us I also trusted that my much-loved employees would soon find new and better jobs and almost all of them have some of them have even started their own businesses and are very successful at the darkest time I kept knowing and affirming that this experience would turn out to be for the highest good of all concerned of course everyone else assumed the worst rumors were flying that Hay House was Belly Up not just within the people I knew but all over the country our sales staff were surprised that so many business people even knew about our company let alone its Financial condition I have to admit that we took great joy in proving these forecasts Wrong by tightening our belts tremendously we didn&#39;t go Belly Up with our smaller staff and each of us determined to make it work we&#39;ve come through it very well but most importantly we have learned a lot in the meantime Hay House is now doing better than ever my staff is enjoying their work and I am enjoying my staff even though we are all working harder the interesting thing is that no one feels that they have too much work to do we are even getting more books out than we ever had and are attracting much more prosperity in all areas of Our Lives I believe that everything does work out for the best in the end but sometimes it is hard to see that while you were going through the experience think of a negative experience that may have happened to you in your work or in your past in general perhaps you were fired or maybe your spouse left you now go beyond it and take a look at the big picture didn&#39;t many good things happen as a result of that experience I&#39;ve heard so many times yes that was a horrible thing that happened to me but if it hadn&#39;t I would never have met so-and-so or start my own business or admit that I had an addiction or learned to love myself by trusting the Divine intelligence to let us experience life in the way that is best for us we Empower ourselves to actually enjoy everything that life has to offer the good as well as the so-called bad try applying this to your work experiences and notice the changes that happen to you those who own or operate businesses can begin to function as an expression of divine intelligence it is important to keep the lines of communication open with employees and allow them to express their feelings about their work in a safe way make sure the offices are a neat and clean place to work here again clutter in an office reflects the consciousness of the people working there with all the physical clutter how can the mental or intellectual tasks be done well and on time you could adopt a statement of purpose that reflects the desired philosophy of your business at Hay House we feel our purpose is creating a world where it is safe for us to love each other when you allow Divine intelligence to operate in all aspects of business then everything flows on purpose and according to a divine plan the most wonderful opportunities will fall in your lap I see many businesses beginning to change there will come a time when business will not be able to survive using the old ways of competition and conflict one day we will all know that there is plenty for everyone and that we can bless and prosper each other companies can begin to shift their priorities and make it a great place for their workers to express themselves and have their products and services benefit the planet in general people who want to get more out of their work than just a paycheck they want to contribute to the world and feel fulfilled in the future the ability to do good on a global level will overshadow the Need for materialism chapter 13 the totality of possibilities each one of us is totally linked with the universe and with all of life the power is within us to expand the horizons of our consciousness now I want you to stretch even further if you have been on the pathway and doing work on yourself for some time does that mean you have nothing else to do are you really going to sit on your laurels and rest or do you realize that this inner work is a lifetime occupation and once you start you never really stop you can hit plateaus and take vacations but basically it&#39;s a lifetime&#39;s worth of work you may want to ask yourself what areas you still need to work on and what you need are you healthy are you happy are you prosperous are you creatively fulfilled do you feel safe do you feel secure are you loved limitations learned from the past there is an expression I love the totality of possibilities I learned it from one of my early teachers in New York Eric Pace it always gave me such a taking off place for letting my mind go beyond what I thought possible far beyond the limited beliefs I grew up with when I was young being a child I didn&#39;t understand that the passing criticisms of grown-ups and friends were just the result of a bad day or a small disappointment and really weren&#39;t true I accepted these thoughts and beliefs about myself willingly and they became part of my limitations I may not have looked awkward or dumb or silly but I sure felt it most of us create the ideas we believe about life by the time we are five years old we add a little bit more when we are teenagers and maybe a tiny bit more when we&#39;re older but very little if I were to ask most people why they believe such and such on any subject and they trace it back they would discover that they made a certain decision about the subject by the time they were this young age so we often live in the limitations of our five-year-old consciousness it was something we accepted from our parents and we still live under the limitations of our parents consciousness even the most wonderful parents in the world didn&#39;t know everything and had their own limitations we say what they said and do what they did you can&#39;t do that or that won&#39;t work however we don&#39;t need limitations as important as they may seem some of our beliefs may be positive and nourishing these thoughts serve us very well all of our Lives such as look both ways before you cross the street or fresh fruits and vegetables are good for your body other thoughts may be useful at a young age but as we grow older they are no longer appropriate don&#39;t trust strangers for instance may be good advice for a small child as adults to perpetuate this belief only creates isolation and loneliness the good news in all of this is that we can always make adjustments all the time the moment we say I can&#39;t or it won&#39;t work or there&#39;s not enough money or what would the neighbors think we are limited this last expression is a significant obstacle for us what will the neighbors or my friends or co-workers or whoever think it&#39;s a good excuse now we don&#39;t have to do it because they wouldn&#39;t do it and they wouldn&#39;t approve as Society changes what the neighbors think changes also to hold on to this assumption doesn&#39;t make sense if someone says to you nobody has ever done it this way before you can say so what there are hundreds of ways of doing something so do it the way that&#39;s right for you we tell ourselves other absurd messages such as I&#39;m not strong enough or I&#39;m not young enough or I&#39;m not old enough or I&#39;m not tall enough or I&#39;m not the right sex how often have you used the last one because I&#39;m a woman I can&#39;t do this or because I&#39;m a man I can&#39;t do that your soul has no sexuality I believe you agreed upon your sexuality before you were born to learn a spiritual lesson feel inferior because of sexuality is not only a poor excuse but also another way to relinquish your power our limitations often stop us from expressing and experiencing the totality of possibilities I don&#39;t have the right education how many of us have let that one stop us we want to realize that education is something set up by groups of people who say you can&#39;t do such and such unless you do it our way we can accept that as a limitation or we can go beyond it I accepted it for many many years because I was a high school dropout I used to say oh I don&#39;t have any education I can&#39;t think I can&#39;t get a good job I can&#39;t do anything well and then one day I realized that the limitation was all in my mind and had nothing to do with reality when I dropped my own limiting beliefs and I allowed myself to move into the totality of possibilities I discovered that I could think I discovered that I was very bright and I could communicate I discovered all sorts of possibilities which when viewed from the limitations of the past seemed impossible limiting the potential within us then there are some of you who think you know it all the trouble with knowing it all is that you don&#39;t grow and nothing new can come in do you accept that there is a power and an intelligence greater than you or do you think that you are it you in your physical body if you think that you&#39;re it then you will be running scared because of your limited mind if you realize that there is a power in this universe that is far greater and wiser and you are part of it then you can move into the space where the totality of possibilities can operate how often do you allow yourself to dwell in the limitations of your present consciousness every time you say I can&#39;t you&#39;re putting a stop sign in front of you you shut down the door to your own inner wisdom and you block the flow of energy that is your spiritual knowingness are you willing to go beyond what you believe today he woke up this morning with certain Concepts and ideas you have the ability to move Beyond some of them to experience a far greater reality it&#39;s called learning because you are taking in something new it may fit in with what is already there or it may be even better have you ever noticed that when you start rearranging your closet you discard clothes and odds and ends that you no longer need you pile up the possessions you are giving away on one side and throw or give away the stuff that is no longer usable then you begin to put everything back and in a totally different order it&#39;s easier to find what you&#39;re looking for and at the same time you make room for new clothes if you bought a new outfit and put it in the old closet you may have had to jam it between other stuff if you clean out your closet and rearrange it then when you bring in the new outfit it has room for itself we need to do the same routine with our minds we need to clean out the contents that no longer work so we have room for new possibilities where God is all things are possible and God is in each one of us if we continue with our preconceived ideas then we are blocked when someone is ill do you say oh poor person how he or she must be suffering or do you look at the person and see the absolute truth of being and affirm the health of God that is within do you see the totality of possibilities and know that Miracles can happen a man I once met told me very emphatically that it was absolutely impossible for a grown person to change he was living in the desert and had all sorts of illnesses and he wanted to sell his property he didn&#39;t want to change his thinking so he was very rigid when it came time to negotiate with a buyer it had to be done his way it was apparent that he would have a very burdensome time trying to sell his property because his belief was that he could never change all he had to do was open his Consciousness to a new way of thinking expanding our Horizons how do we keep ourselves from moving into this totality of possibilities what else limits us all our fears are limitations if you are frightened and you say I can&#39;t it won&#39;t work what will happen fearful experiences will come back judgments are limitations none of us like to be judged yet how often do we do it we are encouraging limitations by our judgments every time you find yourself judging or criticizing no matter how small remind yourself that what goes out comes back you may want to stop limiting your possibilities and change your thinking to something wonderful there is a difference between being judgmental and having an opinion many of you are asked for your opinion of something in actuality you are really giving your judgment an opinion is how you feel about something such as I prefer not to do this I prefer to wear red instead of blue to say someone else is wrong because she wears blue becomes a judgment we need to discern between the two remember criticism is always making yourself or someone else wrong if someone asks your opinion your preference don&#39;t let it become a judgment or criticism against something else also every time you indulge in guilt you are setting a limitation if you hurt someone say you&#39;re sorry and don&#39;t hurt the person again don&#39;t walk around feeling guilty because it keeps you locked out from experiencing your good and has nothing to do with the reality of your true being when you are unwilling to forgive you limit your growth forgiveness allows you to right or wrong in your spiritual self to have understanding instead of resentment to have compassion instead of hatred look at your problems as opportunities for you to grow when you have problems do you see only the restrictions of your limited mind thinking do you think oh poor me why did this happen to me you don&#39;t always have to know how situations are going to work out you do need to trust the power and presence within which is far greater than you are you need to affirm that all is well and everything is working out for your highest good if you open yourself to the possibilities when you have problems you can make changes changes can happen in incredible ways perhaps ways you could not even imagine we&#39;ve all been in situations in our lives where we&#39;ve said I don&#39;t know how I&#39;ll work this out seemed like we were up against a brick wall and yet we are all here now and we&#39;ve worked through whatever it was maybe we didn&#39;t understand how it happened yet it did happen the more we can align ourselves with the cosmic energy the one intelligence the truth and power within us the quicker those wonderful possibilities can be realized group consciousness it is essential that we leave our limited thinking and beliefs behind and awaken our Consciousness to a more Cosmic view of life the development of higher Consciousness on this planet is happening at a rate far faster than ever before the other day I saw a graph that just fascinated me it showed the growth of various systems in our history and how they have changed the Agricultural Development was overshadowed by industrial growth and then around 1950 the informational phase took over as communication and computer operation became widespread alongside this informational period there is also a Consciousness raising movement graph that is shooting far ahead of the informational phase at an unchallenged rate of advancement can you imagine what it means I do a lot of traveling and wherever I go I see people who are studying and learning I&#39;ve been to Australia Jerusalem Egypt London Paris Amsterdam and everywhere I go I meet large groups of people who are searching for ways to expand and Enlighten themselves they are fascinated by how their minds work and they are using their wisdom to take control of their lives and their experiences we are reaching new levels of spirituality although religious wars are still being fought they are becoming less and less prevalent we are beginning to connect with one another on higher levels of consciousness the collapse of the Berlin wall and the birth of freedom in Europe are examples of our expanding Consciousness as freedom is our natural Birthright as the consciousness of each person awakens group Consciousness becomes influenced as well every time you use your Consciousness in a positive way you are connecting with other people who are doing the same every time you use it in a negative way you are also connecting to that every time you meditate you are connecting with other people on the planet who are meditating every time you visualize good for yourself you do it for others as well every time you visualize the healing of your body you connect with others who are doing the same thing our goals are to expand our thinking and to go beyond what was to what might be our Consciousness can create miracles in the world the totality of possibilities connects everything including our universe and Beyond what are you connecting with prejudice is a form of fear if you&#39;re prejudiced you are connecting with other prejudiced people if you open your Consciousness and do the best you can to work on a level of unconditional love then you connect with the Curve on the graph that is climbing upwards do you want to be left behind or do you want to go up with the Curve often there is a crisis in the world how many people send positive energy to the troubled area and do affirmations that everything works out as quickly as possible and there is a solution for the highest good of all concerned you need to use your Consciousness in a way that will create Harmony and plenty for all people what sort of energy are you sending instead of condemning and complaining you can connect with the power on the spiritual level and affirm the most positive results imaginable how far are you willing to expand the horizons of your thinking are you willing to go beyond your neighbors if your neighbors are limited make new friends how far will you stretch how willing are you to change I can&#39;t to I can every time you hear that something is incurable knowing your mind that it isn&#39;t true know that there is a power greater incurable to me means that the medical profession simply hasn&#39;t yet figured out how to cure that particular illness it doesn&#39;t mean that it&#39;s not possible it means that we go within and find a cure we can go beyond statistics we are not numbers on a chart those are someone else&#39;s projections somebody&#39;s limited mind thinking if we don&#39;t give ourselves possibilities we don&#39;t give ourselves hope Dr Donald pachuto at the national AIDS conference in Washington D.C said that we have never had an epidemic ever that was a hundred percent fatal somewhere on this planet someone has been healed of every single dis-ease that we have been able to create if we just accept Doom and Gloom we are stuck we need to take a positive approach so we can find some answers we need to begin to use the power within us to heal ourselves we have other powers it is said that we only use 10 percent of our brain only 10 percent what is the purpose of the other 90 percent I think having psychic ability telepathy Clairvoyance or clairaudience are all normal and natural it&#39;s just that we don&#39;t allow ourselves to experience these phenomena we have all sorts of reasons why we don&#39;t or why we don&#39;t believe we can little children are often very psychic unfortunately parents immediately say don&#39;t say that or that&#39;s your imagination or don&#39;t believe in that foolish nonsense the child inevitably turns off these abilities I think the mind is capable of remarkable things and I know for certain that I could go from New York to Los Angeles without a plane if I only knew how to dematerialize and re-materialize there I don&#39;t know how yet but I know it is possible I think that we are capable of accomplishing incredible achievements but we haven&#39;t the knowledge yet because we won&#39;t use it for our good we will probably hurt others with the knowledge when we can get to the point where we really live in unconditional love then we can begin using the other ninety percent of our brains firewalking how many of you heard about fire walking whenever I ask this question at seminar several hands always go up and yet we all know that it is totally impossible to walk on hot coals right nobody can do it without burning their feet yet people have done it and they aren&#39;t extraordinary people they are people like you and me and they probably learned it in one evening by attending a fire walking Workshop I have a friend Darby long who works with Dr Carl Simington the cancer specialist they do a week-long workshop for people with cancer and during the week they have a fire walking demonstration Darby has done it herself many times and has even carried people across the hot coals I always think how incredible it must be for people with cancer to see and experience such a process it probably blows a lot of people&#39;s minds their Concepts about limitation would somehow be different afterwards I believe Tony Robbins the young man who started firewalking in this country is here to do something really extraordinary on the planet he studied NLP neuro-linguistic programming a process whereby he could observe someone&#39;s patterns of behavior and then repeat that person&#39;s responses and cues of behavior to achieve similar results NLP is based on the hypnotic techniques of Milton Erickson which were systematically observed and recorded by John grindler and Richard bandler when Tony heard about fire walking he wanted to learn it and in turn teach it to others he was told by a yogi that it would take years of study in meditation however using NLP Tony learned it within a few hours he knew that if he could do it anyone could do it he has been teaching people how to walk on colds not because it&#39;s a wonderful parlor trick but because it shows them how to go beyond their limitations and fears everything is possible repeat with me I live and dwell in the totality of possibilities where I am there is all good think about these words for a minute all good not some not a little bit but all good when you believe that anything is possible you open yourself up to answers in every area of your life where we are is the totality of possibilities it is always up to us individually and collectively we either have walls around us or we take them down and feel safe enough to be totally open to allow all good to come into our lives begin to observe yourself notice what is going on inside you how you feel how you react what you believe and allow yourself to observe without comment or judgment when you can you will live your life from the totality of possibilities part five letting go of the past planet is becoming conscious as a whole it is becoming self-conscious chapter 14 change and transition some people would rather leave the planet than change is usually what we want the other person to do isn&#39;t it when I speak about the other person I want to include the government big business the boss or co-worker the Internal Revenue Service foreigners the school husband wife mother father children Etc anyone other than ourselves we don&#39;t want to change but we want everyone else to change so our lives will be different and yet of course any changes that we are going to make it all have to come from within ourselves change means that we free ourselves from feelings of isolation separation loneliness anger fear and pain we create lives filled with wonderful peacefulness where we can relax and enjoy life as it comes to us where we know that everything will be all right I like to use the premise that life is wonderful all is perfect in my world and I always move into greater good in that way it doesn&#39;t matter to me which direction my life takes because I know it&#39;s going to be wonderful therefore I can enjoy all sorts of situations and circumstances someone at one of my lectures was going through a lot of turmoil and the word pain kept coming up in the conversation she asked me if there was another word she could use and I thought about the time I&#39;d smashed my finger by slamming a window on it I knew if I gave into the pain I was going to go through a very difficult period so when it happened I started to do some mental work right away and referred to my finger as having a lot of sensation by viewing what happened in that particular way I think it helped to heal the finger much more quickly and to handle what could have been a very unpleasant experience sometimes if we can alter our thinking a little bit we can completely change a situation can you think of change as an inner house cleaning if you do a little bit at a time it will eventually all get done you don&#39;t have to do it all however before you begin to see results if you change just a little bit you&#39;ll begin to feel better soon I was at the Reverend OC Smith City of Angels science of mine Church on New Year&#39;s Day and he said something that made me think he said it&#39;s the new year but you&#39;ve got to realize that the new year is not going to change you just because it&#39;s a new year it&#39;s not going to make any difference in your life the only way there&#39;s going to be a change is if you are willing to go within and make the change and that&#39;s so true people make all sorts of New Year&#39;s resolutions but because they don&#39;t make any internal changes the resolutions Fall Away very quickly I&#39;m not going to smoke another cigarette or whatever someone says and right away it&#39;s put in a negative phrase rather than one that will tell the subconscious mind what to do in this situation you could say instead all desire for cigarettes has left me and I am free until we make the inner changes until we are willing to do the mental work nothing outside of us is going to change yet the interchanges can be so incredibly simple because the only thing we really need to change is our thoughts what can you do for yourself this year that you didn&#39;t do last year that could be positive take a moment and think about this question what would you like to let go of this year that you clung to so tightly last year what would you like to change in your life and are you willing to do it there is a lot of information available that will give you ideas once you are willing to change the moment you are willing to change it is remarkable How the Universe begins to help you it brings you what you need it could be a book a tape a teacher or even a friend making a passing remark that suddenly has deep meaning to you sometimes conditions will get worse before they get better and that&#39;s okay because the process is beginning the old threads are untangling so flow with it don&#39;t panic and think it&#39;s not working just keep working with your affirmations and the new beliefs you are planting making progress of course from the moment you decide to make a change until you get the demonstration there is a transitional period you vacillate between the old and the new you go back and forth between what was and what you would like to be or have it is a normal and natural process often I hear people saying well I know all this stuff and my answer is are you doing it knowing what to do and doing it are two separate steps it takes time until you are strong in the new and have gone the complete shift until then you must be consistent in your efforts to change for instance many people say their affirmations maybe three times and give up then they say that affirmations don&#39;t work or they&#39;re silly or whatever we want to give ourselves time to practice to make the changes change requires action as I said it&#39;s what you do after you say your affirmations that counts the most as you go through this transitional phase remember to praise yourself for each small step forward that you make if you beat yourself up for the step backward then change becomes oppressive use all the tools available to you as you move from the old to the new assure the little child inside that he or she is safe author Gerald jumpolski says that love is letting go of fear and that there is either fear or there is love if we are not coming from the loving space of the heart then we&#39;re in fear and all those states such as isolation separation anger guilt and loneliness are part of the fear syndrome we want to move from Fear into love and make love a more permanent position for us there are many ways to change what do you do on a daily basis to make yourself feel good inside you&#39;re not going to do it by blaming other people or by being a victim so what is it that you do how are you experiencing peace within you and around you if you are not doing it now are you willing to begin are you willing to start creating Inner Harmony and peace another question to ask yourself is do I really want to change do you want to continue to complain about what you don&#39;t have in your life or do you want to really create a much more wonderful life than you have now if you are willing to change you can if you are willing to do the work involved then you can change your life for the better I have no power over you and I can&#39;t do it for you you have the power and you need to keep reminding yourself of that remember maintaining inner peace will help us connect with like-minded peaceful people all over the world spirituality connects us all over this planet on a soul level and the sense of cosmic spirituality that we are just beginning to experience is going to change the world for the better when I speak of spirituality I don&#39;t necessarily mean religion religions tell us who to love and how to love and who is Worthy to me we are all worthy of love and we are all lovable our spirituality is our direct connection with our higher source and we don&#39;t need a middle man for that begin to see that spirituality can connect us all all over the planet on a very deep soul level several times during the day you might stop and ask yourself what kind of people am I connecting with now ask yourself periodically what do I really believe about this condition or situation and think about it ask what do I feel do I really want to do what these people are asking of me why am I doing this start to examine your thoughts and feelings be honest with yourself find out what you are thinking and believing don&#39;t go on automatic pilot living your life by routine this is the way I am and this is what I do know why do you do it if it isn&#39;t a positive nourishing experience figure out where it came from when did you first do it you know what to do now connect to the intelligence within you stress is another word for fear we talk a lot about stress these days everybody seems to be stressed out about something stress seems to be a buzzword and we use it to the point where I think it&#39;s a cop-out I&#39;m so stressed out or this is so stressful or all is stress stress stress stress to me is a fearful reaction to Life&#39;s constant changes it is an excuse we use for not taking responsibility for our feelings if we can equate the word stress with the word fear then we can begin to eliminate the need for fear in our lives the next time you think about how stressed you are ask yourself what is scaring you ask how am I overloading or burdening myself why am I giving my power away find out what you are doing to yourself that is creating this fear within you that keeps you from achieving Inner Harmony and peace stress is not Inner Harmony Inner Harmony is being at peace within yourself it&#39;s not possible to have stress and Inner Harmony at the same time when you&#39;re at peace you do things one at a time you don&#39;t let things get to you when you feel stressed breathe and do something to release the fear so you can move through life feeling safe don&#39;t use the word stress as a cop-out don&#39;t give a little word like stress a lot of power nothing has any power over you you are always safe life is a series of doors closing and opening we walk from room to room having different experiences many of us would like to close some doors on Old negative patterns old blocks situations that are no longer nourishing or useful to ourselves many of us are in the process of opening new doors and finding wonderful new experiences I think that we come to this planet many many times and we come to learn different lessons it&#39;s like coming to school before we incarnate at any particular time on the planet we decide the lesson we are going to learn so that we can evolve spiritually once we choose our lesson we choose all the circumstances and situations that will enable us to learn the lesson including our parents sexuality place of birth and race if you&#39;ve gotten this far in your life believe me you&#39;ve made all the right choices for you as you go through life it is essential to remind yourself that you are safe it is only change trust your higher self to lead you and guide you in ways that are best for your spiritual growth as Joseph Campbell once said follow your bliss see yourself opening doors to joy peace healing prosperity and love doors to understanding compassion forgiveness and freedom doors to self-worth self-esteem and self-love you are eternal you will go on forever from experience to experience even when you pass through the last doorway on this planet it is not the end it is the beginning of another new adventure ultimately you cannot force anyone to change you can offer them a positive mental atmosphere where they have the possibility to change if they wish however you cannot do it four or two other people each person is here to work out his or her own lessons and if you fix it for them then they will eventually have to do it again because they haven&#39;t learned for themselves they haven&#39;t worked out what they needed to do love your sisters and brothers allow them to be who they are know that the truth is always within them and they can change at any moment that they want after 15. a world where it&#39;s safe to love each other we can either destroy the planet or we can heal it send some loving healing energy to the planet every day what we do with our minds makes a difference the planet is very much in a period of change and transition we are going from an old order to a New Order and some people say it began with the Aquarian age at least the astrologers like to describe it that way to me astrology numerology palmistry tarot cards and all those methods of psychic phenomena are merely ways of describing life they explain life to us in slightly different ways so the astrologers say that we are moving out of the piscean age and into the Aquarian age during the pi cnh we look to other people to save us we looked for other people to do it for us in the Aquarian age which we are now entering people are beginning to go within acknowledging that they have the ability to save themselves isn&#39;t it wonderfully liberating to be able to change what we don&#39;t like actually I&#39;m not so sure that the planet is changing as much as we are becoming more conscious and aware conditions that were brewing for a long time are coming to the surface such as family dysfunction child abuse and our endangered planet as with everything else first we must become aware in order to make changes in the same way that we do our mental house cleaning so that we can change we are doing the same thing with Mother Earth we are beginning to see our Earth as a whole living breathing organism an entity a being unto itself it breathes it has a heartbeat it takes care of its children it provides everything here that we could possibly need it&#39;s totally balanced if you spend a day in the forest or somewhere in nature you can see how all the systems on the planet work perfectly it&#39;s set up to live out its existence in absolute perfect equilibrium and harmony so here we are great mankind who knows so much and we are doing our very best to destroy the planet by disrupting this balance and harmony our greed gets in the way to an enormous extent we think we know best and through ignorance and greed we are destroying the living breathing organism of which we are apart if we destroy Earth where are we going to live I know that when I talk to people about caring more for the planet they become overwhelmed by the problems we are encountering now it seems that just one person doing something will not affect anything in the entire scheme of things but that is not so if everyone did a little it would wind up being a lot you may not be able to see the effects right in front of you but believe me mother earth feels it collectively we have a little table set up to sell books at my AIDS support group recently we ran out of bags to put products in so I thought I would start saving the bags I received when I was out shopping at first I thought oh you don&#39;t have that many bags by the end of the week but boy was I mistaken I had bags coming out of my ears one of my workers experienced the same thing he said he had no idea how many bags a week he used until he started saving them and when you put that in terms of Mother Earth that&#39;s quite a few trees were cutting down just to use for one or two hours because we usually end up by throwing the bags away if you don&#39;t believe me just try it for one week save all the bags you receive and just be aware of how many you use I now have a cloth shopping bag that I use and if I&#39;m shopping and have forgotten to bring it I ask for a big bag and as I shop at other stores I put my merchandise in one bag instead of collecting several no one has ever looked at me twice for doing it it just seems so sensible in Europe they&#39;ve been using cloth shopping bags for a long time a friend of mine from England visited and loved to go shopping at the supermarkets here because he wanted to carry the paper bags home he thought they were very American and very chic it may be a cute tradition but the truth is we want to start thinking globally and consider the effects that these little Traditions have on our environment Americans particularly have a thing about the packaging of products when I was in Mexico a few years ago I visited a traditional Marketplace and was fascinated by the unvarnished fruits and vegetables that were laid out they certainly weren&#39;t as pretty as the ones we have in the States but they look natural and healthy to me however some of the people I was with thought they looked terrible and unappealing in another part of the market there were open bins with powdered spices in it again it fascinated me because all the bins next to each other looked so bright and colorful my friend said that they would never buy any spices from an open bin like that and I asked why and they said because it wasn&#39;t clean when I asked why again the answer came back that it wasn&#39;t in a package and I had to laugh where did they think the spices were before they were put in a package we have become so used to having things presented to us in a certain way that it&#39;s hard to accept it if we don&#39;t have all the Frills and pretty packaging attached to it let&#39;s be willing to see where we can make small adjustments for the sake of the environment even if all you do is buy a cloth shopping bag or turn the water tap off while you brush your teeth you have contributed something by doing it at my office we can serve as much as possible there&#39;s a maintenance man in our building who picks up our recyclable copy paper every week and takes it to the recycling plant we use padded envelopes over again we use recycled paper in our books whenever possible even though it costs a little more sometimes it isn&#39;t possible to get it but we always ask for it anyway as we realize that if we continue to ask for it eventually enough printers will have it available it works that way in all areas of conservation by creating a demand for something we can help heal the planet in different ways as a collective power at home I do organic gardening and make compost for the garden every piece of used vegetation goes into that compost pile not a lettuce leaf or a leaf from a tree leaves my property I believe in returning to the land what is taken away I have a few friends who even save their vegetable trimmings for me they put them into a bag in the freezer and when they visit they put their collection into my compost bin what goes in is trash comes out as Rich Earth filled with nourishment for plants because of my recycling practices my garden produces lavishly for all my needs and is beautiful too eat nourishing foods our planet is designed to give us every single thing we need to take care of ourselves it has all the food we need if we eat the foods of the planet we are going to be healthy because it is part of the natural design however we in our great intelligence have designed foods such as Twinkies and we wonder why our health Isn&#39;t So Good a lot of us give lip service to diets we say yes we know as we reach for one sugar-filled treat after another two generations ago when Betty Crocker or Clarence bird&#39;s eye or whomever came out with the first convenience type food we said oh isn&#39;t this wonderful and then came another and another and another until Generations later there are people in this country now who have never tasted real food everything is canned processed Frozen chemicalized and ultimately microwaved I recently read that the young people in the military today do not have the healthy immune systems that young people had 20 years ago if we don&#39;t give our body natural foods which it needs to build and repair itself how can we expect it to last a lifetime and add to this drugs and cigarettes and alcohol abuse a dose of self-hatred and you have the perfect climate for dis-ease to flourish I had a very interesting experience recently I took something called a responsible drivers course it was filled with people over 55 years of age who were there ostensibly to get three to ten percent off their Auto Insurance I really found it fascinating that we spent the whole morning talking about illness all the illnesses we could look forward to As We Grew Older we talked about diseases of the eyes and everything that could go wrong with our ears and our hearts when lunchtime came 90 percent of these same people ran across the street to the nearest fast food restaurant I thought to myself we still don&#39;t get it do we one thousand people a day die from smoking that&#39;s 365 000 people a year I understand that over five hundred thousand people die from cancer each year a million people die from heart attacks every year a million people knowing this why do we still run out to fast food restaurants and pay so little attention to our bodies healing ourselves and our planet part of the Catalyst for this transitional period is the crisis of AIDS the AIDS crisis is showing us how unloving and Prejudiced we are towards each other we treat people with AIDS with such little compassion one of the things that I would really like to see happen on this planet and I want to help create is a world where it is safe for us to love each other when we were little we wanted to be loved for who we were even if we were too skinny or too fat too ugly or too shy we come to this planet to learn unconditional love first to have it for ourselves and then to give the same unconditional love to other people we need to get rid of this idea of them and us there is no them in US there is only us there are no groups that are expendable or less than every one of us has a list of those people over there we can&#39;t really be spiritual as long as there is one person over there many of us grew up in families where Prejudice was normal and natural this group or that group was not good enough in order to make ourselves feel better we would put the other group down however as long as we are saying that someone else isn&#39;t good enough what we&#39;re really reflecting is that we&#39;re not good enough remember we&#39;re all mirrors of each other I remember when I was invited to the Oprah Winfrey Show I appeared on TV with five people with AIDS who were doing quite well the six of us had met the evening before for dinner and it was such an incredibly powerful Gathering when we sat down to have dinner the energy was extraordinary I started to cry because this was something I had been striving for for several years to get a positive message out to the American public that there is hope these people were healing themselves and it wasn&#39;t easy the medical community told them that they were going to die they had to experiment with many different methods by trial and error and they were willing to expand and go beyond their own limitations we taped the next day and it was a beautiful show I was pleased that women with AIDS were also represented on the show I wanted Middle America to open their hearts and to realize that aids doesn&#39;t only affect a group that they don&#39;t care about it affects everybody when I came out Oprah said to me off camera Louise Louise Louise and came to me and gave me a big hug I believe we relayed the message of hope that day I&#39;ve heard Dr Bernie Siegel say that there was someone who has healed his or herself of every form of cancer so there is always hope and hope gives us possibilities there is something to work towards instead of throwing up our hands and saying there&#39;s nothing that can be done the AIDS virus is just doing its thing being what it is it breaks my heart to realize that there will be more and more heterosexual people who are going to die from AIDS because the government and the medical profession are not moving fast enough as long as AIDS is perceived as a gay disease it will not receive the attention it urgently needs so how many straight people will have to die before it&#39;s considered a legitimate illness I think the faster we all put away our prejudices and work for a positive solution to this crisis the faster the whole planet will heal however we can&#39;t heal the planet if we allow people to suffer to me AIDS is very much a part of the pollution of the planet do you realize that Dolphins off the coast of California are dying of immune deficiency diseases and I don&#39;t believe it&#39;s because of their sexual practices we&#39;ve been polluting our land so that a lot of the vegetation is unfit to eat we are killing the fish in our Waters we are polluting our air so now there is acid rain and a hole in the ozone layer and we continue polluting our bodies AIDS is a terrible terrible dis-ease yet the numbers of people who are dying from AIDS are far fewer than those who are dying from cancer smoking and heart disease we search for ever more potent poisons to kill the diseases we create yet we can&#39;t change our lifestyles and diets we either want some drug to suppress our illness or we want to surgically remove it rather than to heal it the more we suppress the more that problems manifest in other ways it&#39;s even more incredible to learn that medicine and surgery only take care of 10 percent of all dis-ease that&#39;s right even with all the money we spend on chemicals radiation and surgery they only help 10 percent of our diseases I read an article that said that the diseases in The Next Century will be caused by new strains of bacteria that will affect our weakened immune systems these bacteria strains have begun to mutate so that the drugs we have now will have no effect on them obviously the more we build up our immune systems the quicker we are going to heal ourselves and the planet and I&#39;m not only referring to our physical immune systems I mean our mental and emotional immune systems as well to me healing and curing bring about two different results I think healing needs to be a team effort if you expect your doctor to fix you he or she may take care of the symptoms however that doesn&#39;t heal the problem healing is making yourself whole to be healed you must be a part of the team you and your doctor or health care professional there are many holistic MDS who not only treat you physically but who see you as a whole person we have been living with erroneous belief systems not only individual ones but societal ones as well there are people who say that earaches run in their family others believe that when they go out in the rain they catch cold or they get three colds every winter or when someone catches a cold in the office everyone gets a cold because it&#39;s contagious contagious is an idea and the idea is contagious a lot of people talk about dis-ease being hereditary I don&#39;t think that&#39;s necessarily so I think that what we pick up are the mental patterns of our parents children are very aware they begin to imitate their parents even their illnesses if a father tightens his colon every time he feels angry the child picks up on that it&#39;s no wonder that when the father gets colitis years later the child gets colitis too everyone knows that cancer is not contagious yet why does it run in families because the patterns of resentment run in families resentment builds and bills until finally there is cancer we must allow ourselves to be aware of everything so that we can make conscious intelligent choices some things may horrify us which is part of the Awakening process but then we can do something about them everything in the universe from child abuse and AIDS to the homeless situation and starvation needs our love a tiny child who is loved and appreciated will become a strong self-assured adult the planet which has everything here for us in all of life if we allow it to be itself will take care of us always let&#39;s not think about our past limitations let&#39;s open ourselves to the potential of this incredible decade we can make these final 10 years of the century a time of healing we have the power within us to clean up clean our bodies Our emotions and all the various messes we have made we can look around and see what needs care the way each of us chooses to live will have a tremendous impact on our future and on our world for the highest good of all you can take this time to apply your personal growth methods to the entire planet if you just do things for the planet and not for yourself then you&#39;re not in balance if you only work for yourself and stop there then that&#39;s not balanced either so let&#39;s see how we can begin to balance ourselves and the environment we know that our thoughts shape and create our lives we don&#39;t always live the philosophy totally nonetheless we&#39;ve accepted the basic premise if we want to change our immediate world we must change our thinking if we want to change the greater world around us we need to change our thinking about it not viewing it as them and us if all the effort you put out in complaining about what&#39;s wrong with the world is applied to positive affirmations and visualizations of the world you could really help to turn things around remember every time you use your mind you are connecting to like-minded people if you inflict judgment criticism and Prejudice on others you are connecting to all the other people who are doing the same however if you are meditating visualizing peace loving yourself and loving the planet you are connecting with these kinds of people you could be at home bedridden and still help to heal the planet by the way you use your mind by practicing inner peace I heard Robert Schuler of the United Nations once say the human species needs to know that we deserve to have peace how true these words are if we can make our young people aware of what is happening in the world and give them options as to what they can do about it then we can really begin to see a shift in consciousness teaching our children early about conservation efforts is one way to reassure them that important work is being done even though some adults still won&#39;t take responsibility for what is going on in the world around them we can assure our children that more and more people throughout the world are becoming aware of the long-term effects of global pollution and are striving to change the situation becoming involved as a family in an ecological Foundation such as Greenpeace or Earth save is wonderful as it is never too soon to impress upon children that we all have to accept responsibility for the good of our planet I recommend that you read John Robin&#39;s book diet for a new America I find it so interesting that John Robbins heir to the Baskin-Robbins ice cream business is doing his best to help create a holistic and peaceful planet it&#39;s wonderful to know that some of the children of people who exploit the health of the nation turn around and do things to help the planet volunteer groups are also helping to take over whether government is falling short if the government won&#39;t help heal our environment we can&#39;t sit around and wait we have to get together on a Grassroots level and take care of it we can all do our part start to find out where you can help volunteer where you can give one hour a month if you can&#39;t do anything else we are definitely on The Cutting Edge of the forces that are going to help heal this planet we are at a point right now where we can all go down the tubes or we can heal the planet it isn&#39;t up to them it&#39;s up to us individually and collectively I see more and more opportunities for a blending of the scientific Technologies of the past and the future with the spiritual truths of yesterday today and tomorrow it is time these elements come together by understanding that acts of violence come from a person who is a traumatized child we could combine our knowledge and Technologies to help them heal and change we only perpetrate Violence by starting Wars or throwing people in prisons and forgetting them instead we want to encourage self-awareness self-esteem and self-love the tools for transformation are available we just have to use them Lazarus has a wonderful exercise that I would like to share with you pick a spot on the planet it could be anywhere very far away or just around the corner some place on the planet that you would like to help heal Envision that place as peaceful with people well fed and clothed and living in safety and peace take a moment every day and envision it put your love to work to help heal the planet you are important by sharing your love and all the Magnificent gifts within you you will begin to change the energy on this beautiful blue-green fragile planet that we call our home and so it is afterward I remember when I couldn&#39;t sing very well at all I still don&#39;t sing very well but I&#39;m much more Brave I lead people in song at the end of my workshops and support groups perhaps one day I will take some lessons and learn however I haven&#39;t gotten around to it yet at one event I began to lead everyone in song and the man in charge of the sound system turned off my microphone Joseph vatimo my assistant said what are you doing and the other man said she&#39;s singing off key it was so terribly embarrassing now it really doesn&#39;t matter anymore I just sing my heart out and it seems to open up a little bit more I&#39;ve had some extraordinary experiences in my life and the one that has opened my heart on a very deep level has been working with people with AIDS I can hug people now who a few years ago I couldn&#39;t even look at I&#39;ve gone beyond a lot of my own personal limitations in reward for that I have found so much love Wherever I Go people give me tremendous amounts of love in October 1987 Joseph and I went to Washington D.C to March for governmental help for AIDS I don&#39;t know how many are aware of the AIDS quilt it&#39;s rather incredible many many people from around the country got together and made quilt patches to commemorate someone who has died from AIDS these patches are made with so much love and put together with Patches from all over the world to make an enormous quilt when we were in Washington the patches were put into sections and displayed between the Washington and Lincoln monuments at six o&#39;clock in the morning we began to read the names of the people on the quilt as we did people would unfold the patch and put it in place next to the others it was a very emotional time as you can imagine people were crying everywhere I was standing with my list waiting to read when I felt this tap on my shoulder I could hear someone say could I ask you a question please and I turned around and the young man standing behind me looked at the badge with my name on it and shouted Louise Hay oh my God and he went into absolute hysteria and flung himself in my arms we held each other and he just sobbed and sobbed finally when he could contain himself he told me that his lover had read my book many times and when he was about to leave the planet his lover had asked him to read a treatment for my book he read it slowly as his lover read the lines with him and the very last words his lover said were all is well and he died so here was I right in front of him he was extremely touched when he could compose himself enough I said but what did you want to ask me it seems that he had not been able to complete his Lover&#39;s patch on time and he wanted me to add his lover&#39;s name to my list he just happened to pick me I remember this moment very well because it showed me that life is really very simple and the things that are important are also simple and everything falls into place I want to share a quote with you from Emmett Fox if you don&#39;t know Emmett Fox he was a very popular teacher in the 40s and 50s and early 60s and one of the clearest teachers I know he has written some beautiful books and these are some of my favorite words of his there is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer there is no dis-ease that enough love will not heal no door that enough love will not open no golf that enough love will not Bridge no wall that enough love will not throw down and no sin that enough love will not redeem it makes no difference How Deeply seated may be the trouble how hopeless the Outlook how muddled the tangle how great the mistake a sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all and if you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful person in the world it&#39;s true you know it sounds wonderful and it is true what do you need to do to get to that space where you could be the happiest and most powerful person in the world I think Inner Space travel is just beginning we are just beginning to learn about the power that we have inside us we are not going to find it if we contract the more we can open to ourselves the more we are going to find the universal energies available to assist us there are incredible accomplishments that we are capable of take a few deep breaths open your chest and give your heart room to expand keep practicing and sooner or later the barriers will begin to drop today is your beginning point and so it is appendix a meditations for personal and planetary healing acknowledge yourself for being centered when there is incredible chaos around you acknowledge yourself for being courageous and for doing so much more than you thought you could the healing work we do at the end of our workshops and support groups is very powerful we usually break into groups of three and do a form of laying on of hands for each other it is a wonderful way to accept energy and also share energy with many people who are reluctant in one way or another to ask for help often profound experiences occur I would like to share some of the meditations we do at our healing circles it would be wonderful if we did them on an ongoing basis either by ourselves or in groups see your inner child in any way that you can and notice how it looks and feels Comfort your child apologize to it tell it how sorry you are for forsaking it you have been away for so long and you are now willing to make it up Promise This Little Child that you will never ever leave them again any time it wants it can reach out and touch you and you will be there if it is scared you will hold it if it is angry it is okay to express the anger tell it you love it very much you have the power to help create the kind of world that you want you and your child to live in you have the power of your mind and your thoughts see yourself creating a Wonderful World see your child relaxed and safe peaceful laughing happy playing with friends Running Free touching a flower hugging a tree picking a piece of fruit and eating it with delight playing with a puppy or a kitten swinging high above the trees laughing with joy and running up to you and giving you a big hug see the two of you healthy and living in a beautiful safe place having wonderful relationships with your parents friends and co-workers being greeted with joy wherever you go having a special kind of love see where you want to live and what you want to work at and see yourselves as healthy very healthy joyous and free and so it is your healing light light look deep within the center of your heart and find that tiny little pinpoint of brilliantly colored light it is such a beautiful color it is the very center of your love and healing energy watch the little pinpoint of light begin to pulsate and as it pulsates it grows until it fills your heart see this light moving through your body from the top of your head to the tip of your toes and the tip of your fingers you are absolutely glowing with this beautiful colored light It Is Your Love and your healing energy let your whole body vibrate with this light you can say to yourself with every breath I take I am getting healthier and healthier feel this light cleansing your body of dis-ease and allowing normal vibrant Health to return to oh let this light begin to radiate out from you in all directions let your healing energy everyone whom you know needs it what a privilege it is to share your love and light and healing energy thank you with those who are in need of healing Let Your Light move into hospitals and nursing homes and orphanages and prisons Mental Hospitals and other institutions of despair let it bring home Enlightenment and peace let it move into every home in the city in which you live where there is pain and suffering let your love and light and healing energy bring Comfort to those in need let it move into the churches and soften the hearts of those involved so that they can operate with unconditional love let the beautiful light that comes from your heart move into the capital and government buildings bringing Enlightenment and the message of Truth let it move into every capital in every government select one place on the planet as a place that you would like to help heal and concentrate your light on that place it may be very far away or it may be around the corner concentrate your love and light and your healing energy on this place and see it come into balance and harmony see it at home take a moment every day to send your love and light and healing energy to this particular place on the planet we are the people we are the children we are the world we are the future what we give out comes back to us multiplied give your love and so it is foreign [Music] receiving prosperity let&#39;s realize some positive qualities for ourselves we are open and receptive to wonderful new ideas we allow prosperity to enter into our lives on a level that it has never entered before we deserve the best we are willing to accept the best our income is constantly increasing we move away from poverty thinking into Prosperity thinking we love ourselves we rejoice in Who We Are and we know that life is here for us and will supply us with everything that we need we move from success to success from Joy To Joy and from abundance to abundance we are one with the power that created us we express for ourselves the greatness that we are we are Divine magnificent impressions of life and we are open and receptive to all good and so it is foreign [Music] welcome the child put your hand over your heart close your eyes allow yourself not only to see your inner child but to be that child and let my voice be your family as I say to you we&#39;re so glad you came we&#39;ve been waiting for you we wanted you so much to be part of our family you&#39;re so important to us we&#39;re so glad you&#39;re a little boy we&#39;re so glad you&#39;re a little girl we love your uniqueness and your specialness the family wouldn&#39;t be the same without you we love you we want to hold you we want to help you grow up to be all that you can be you don&#39;t have to be like us you can be yourself you&#39;re so beautiful you&#39;re so bright you&#39;re so creative it gives us such a pleasure to have you here we love you more than anything in the whole world we thank you for choosing our family we know you&#39;re blessed you have blessed us by coming we love you we really love you thank you let your little child make these words true for it be aware that every day you can hold yourself and say these words you can look in the mirror and say these words you can hold a friend and say these words tell yourself all the things you wanted your parents to tell you your little child needs to feel wanted and loved give that to your child no matter how old you are or how sick or how scared your little child needs to be wanted and loved keep telling your child I want you and I love you it is the truth for you [Music] the universe wants you here and that&#39;s why you are here you&#39;ve always been loved and will always be love throughout eternity you can live happily ever after [Music] and so it is um foreign [Music] love is healing love is the most powerful healing Force there is I open myself to love I am willing to love and to be loved I see myself Prosper I see myself healthy I see myself creatively fulfilled and I live in peace and safety send everyone you know thoughts of comfort and acceptance and support and love be aware that as you send these thoughts out you also receive them back envelop your family in a circle of Love whether they are living or not include your friends the people at work and everyone from your past and all the people you would like to forgive but don&#39;t know how send love to everyone with AIDS and cats and to the Friends and Lovers hospice workers doctors nurses alternative therapists and caretakers let&#39;s see an end to AIDS and cancer and other terminal illness in your mind&#39;s eye see a headline that reads cure for cancer found cure for AIDS found good put yourself in this Circle of Love forgive yourself [Music] affirm that you have wonderful harmonious relationships with your parents where there is mutual respect and carrying on both sides Let The Circle of Love envelop the entire planet and let your heart open so you can find that space within you where there is unconditional love see everyone living with dignity and in peace and joy you are worth loving you are beautiful you are powerful you open yourself to all good and so it is [Music] foreign we are free to be ourselves in order to be whole we must accept all of ourselves so let your heart up and make plenty of room in there for all the parts of yourself the parts that you are proud of and the parts that embarrass you the parts you reject they are all of you we all are when your heart is full of love for yourself then you have so much to share with others let this love now fill your room and permeate out to all the people that you know put the people you want in the center of your womb so that they can receive the love from your overflowing heart from your child to theirs now see all the children and all the people dancing as children dance skipping and shouting and turning somersaults and cardboards filled with exuberant Joy expressing all the best of the child with them and let your child go and play with the other children let your child dance let your child feel safe and free let your child be all that it ever wanted to be whole and complete all is well in your wonderful world and so it is foreign foreign [Music] [Music] [Applause] see yourself standing in a very safe space release your burdens and pains and fears old negative addictions and patterns see them falling away from you then see yourself standing in your safe place With Your Arms Wide Open saying I am open and receptive too declaring for yourself what it is you want not what you don&#39;t want but what you do want and know that it is possible see yourself whole and healthy peace see yourself filled with love all we need change our lives on this planet we can be in a circle of hate or we can be in a circle of love and healing I choose to be in a circle of love I realize that everyone wants the same things I want we want to express ourselves creatively in ways that are fulfilling we want to be peaceful and safe and in this space feel your connection with other people in the world let the love in you go from heart to heart and as your love goes out know that it comes back to you multiply I send comforting thoughts to everyone and know that these thoughts are returning to me see the world becoming an incredible circle of life and so it is foreign [Music] [Music] you deserve love we don&#39;t have to believe everything in the perfect time space sequence that what you need will rise to the surface each one of us has the ability to love ourselves more each one of us deserves to be loved we deserve to live well be healthy to be loved and loving prosper and the little child deserves to grow up to have a wonderful wonderful life see yourself surrounded by love see yourself happy and healthy and whole see yourself as you would like your like you&#39;re putting in all the details know that you deserve it [Music] then take the love from your heart and let it begin to flow filling your body with healing Energies Let Your Love begin to flow around the room and around your home till you are in an absolutely enormous Circle of Love feel the love circulating so that as it goes out from you it returns to you the most powerful healing force is love let it circulate over and over again let it wash through your body you are loved and so it is [Music] all right [Music] a new decade see a new door opening to a decade of great healing healing that we have not understood in the past we are in the process of learning the incredible abilities that we have within ourselves and we are learning to get in touch with those parts of ourselves that have the answers and are there to lead us and guide us in ways that are for our highest good [Music] so let&#39;s see this new door opening wide and ourselves stepping through it to find healing and many many different forms for healing means different things to different people many of us have bodies that need healing some of us have hearts that need healing or Minds that need healing so we are open and receptive to the healing that we each need individual end of it we open the door wide for personal growth and we move through this doorway knowing we are safe it is only change foreign [Music] Spirit am I we are the only ones who can save the world as we band together with a common cause we find the answers we must always remember that there is a part of us that is far more than our bodies far more than our personalities far more than our diseases and more than our past there is a part of us that is more than our relationships the very Central core of us is pure spirit eternal always has been and always will be we are here to love ourselves and to love each other by doing this we will find the answers so that we can heal ourselves and the plan we are going through extraordinary times all sorts of things are changing we may not even know the depths of the problems yet we are swimming as best we can two shall pass and we will find Solutions we are spirits spirit and we are free we connect on a spiritual level for we know that level can never be taken from us and on the level of spirit We Are All One we are free and so it is [Music] foreign [Music] a world that is safe if you&#39;re in a group you might like to hold a hand on either side of you we&#39;ve touched on many things and each of us has something we can relate to we&#39;ve talked about negative things and positive things we&#39;ve talked about fears and frustrations and how scary it is to go up to somebody and just say hello many of us still do not trust ourselves to take care of ourselves and we feel lost and lonely [Music] yet we have been working on ourselves for some time and have noticed that our lives are changing lots of problems in the past aren&#39;t problems anymore it doesn&#39;t change overnight but if we are persistent and consistent positive things do happen so let&#39;s share the energy we have and the love we have with other people know that as we give from our hearts we are also receiving from other hearts let&#39;s open our hearts so that we can take in everyone with love support and caring let&#39;s move that love to people in the street who have no homes and no place to go [Music] let&#39;s share our love with those who are angry frightened or in pain every person and all those in denial those who are in the process of leaving the planet and those who have already left let&#39;s share our love with everybody whether they accept it or not there is no way we can be hurt if our love is rejected let&#39;s hold the entire planet in our hearts the animals fish the birds the vegetation and all the people all the people we are angry at frustrated with those who are not doing it our way and those who are expressing so-called evil take them into our hearts Hearts they can begin to recognize who they really are see peace breaking out all over the planet know that you are contributing to that peace right now Rejoice that you have the ability to do something you are a beautiful person acknowledge yourself or how wonderful you are know that it is the truth for you and so it is [Music] foreign [Music] the light has come an exercise for two people sit opposite your partner and hold your partner&#39;s hands look into each other&#39;s eyes take a nice deep breath and release any fear that you may have take another deep breath and release your judgment and allow yourself to be with this person what you see in them foreign a reflection of what is in you it&#39;s all right We Are All One we breathe the same air we drink the same water we eat the foods of the Earth we have the same desires and needs we all want to be healthy we all want to love and be loved we all want to live comfortably and peacefully and we want to prosper we all want to live our lives with fulfillment allow yourself to look at this person with love and be willing to receive the love back know that you are safe as you look at your partner affirm for them perfect health [Music] affirm for them loving relationships so that they are surrounded by loving people wherever they may be affirm for them prosperity so that they live comfortably affirm for them comfort and safety and know that what you give out returns to you multiply so affirm for them the very best of everything and know that they deserve it and see them willing to accept it and so it is [Music] thank you [Music] feel your power feel your power feel the power of your breath feel the power of your sound feel the power of your love feel the power of your forgiveness feel the power of your willingness to change feel your power you are beautiful you are a Divine magnificent being you deserve all good not just some but all good feel your power be at peace with it for you are safe welcome this new day with open arms and with love feel your power and so it is thank you I love you this is Louise

[Music] hello this is Louise Hay and I&amp;#39;m going to read to you my book the power is within you there is a great deal of information on this tape do not feel you have to absorb it all at once certain ideas will leap out at you work with those ideas first if I say anything that you disagree with just ignore it if you can get just one good idea out of this tape and use it to improve the quality of your life then I Feel Complete as you listen you will become aware that I use many terms such as power intelligence infinite mind higher power God Universal Power inner wisdom and so on this is done to show you that there is no limitation on what you choose to call that power that runs the universe and is also within you if any name disturbs you then substitute another that feels right for you this book was written as an extension of You Can Heal Your Life time has passed since the writing of that book and many new ideas have revealed themselves to me those ideas I wish to share with all of you who have been writing over the years asking for more information I feel an important thing to be aware of is that the power we are all seeking out there is also within us and readily available to us to use in positive ways may this tape reveal to you how very powerful you really are I am not a Healer I do not heal anyone I think of myself as a stepping stone on a pathway of self-discovery I create a space where people can learn how incredibly wonderful they are by teaching them how to love themselves that&amp;#39;s all I do I&amp;#39;m a person who supports people I help people take charge of their lives I help them discover their own power and inner wisdom and strengths I help them get the blocks and the barriers out of the way so they can love themselves no matter what circumstances they happen to be going through this doesn&amp;#39;t mean that we will never have problems but it is how we react to the problem that makes a tremendous difference after years of individual counseling with clients and conducting hundreds of workshops and intensive training programs across the country and around the world I find that there is only one thing that seems to heal every problem and that is to love yourself when people start to love themselves more each day it&amp;#39;s amazing how their lives get better they feel better they often get the jobs they want they have the money they need their relationships either improve or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin it&amp;#39;s a very simple premise loving yourself I&amp;#39;ve often been criticized for being too simplistic and yet I have found that the simple things are usually the most profound someone said to me recently you gave me the most wonderful gift you gave me the gift of myself so many of us hide from ourselves and we don&amp;#39;t even know who we are we don&amp;#39;t know what we feel we don&amp;#39;t know what we want life is a voyage of self-discovery to me to be enlightened is to go within and to know who and what we really are and to know that we have the ability to change for the better by loving and taking care of ourselves it&amp;#39;s not selfish to love ourselves it clears us so that we can love ourselves enough to love other people we can really help the planet when we come from a space of great love and joy on an individual basis power that created this Incredible Universe has often been referred to as love and God is love we have often heard the statement love makes the world go round it&amp;#39;s all true love is The Binding agent that holds the whole universe together to me love is deep appreciation when I talk about loving ourselves I mean having a deep appreciation for Who We Are we accept all the different parts of ourselves our little peculiarities the embarrassments the things we may not do so well and all the wonderful qualities too we accept the whole package with love unconditionally unfortunately many of us will not love ourselves until we lose the weight or get the job or get the raise or the boyfriend or whatever we often put conditions on our love but we can change we can love ourselves as we are right now there is also a lack of Love on this planet as a whole I believe our whole planet has a dis-ease called AIDS and more and more people are dying every day this physical challenge has given us the opportunity to overcome barriers and to go beyond our morality standards and differences of religion and politics and to open our hearts the more of us who can do it the quicker we are going to find the answers we are in the midst of enormous individual and Global change I believe that all of us who are living at this time chose to be here to be a part of these changes to bring about change and to transform the world from the old way of life to a more loving and peaceful existence in the piscean age we looked out there for our savior save me save me please take care of me now we are moving into the Aquarian age and we are learning to go within to find our savior we are the power we have been seeking we are in charge of Our Lives if you are not willing to love yourself today then you are not going to love yourself tomorrow because whatever excuse you have today you&amp;#39;ll still have tomorrow maybe you&amp;#39;ll have the same excuse 20 years from now and even leave this lifetime holding on to the same excuse today is the day you can love yourself totally with no expectations I want to help create a world where it is safe for us to love each other where we can express who we are and be loved and accepted by the people around us without judgment criticism or prejudice loving begins at home the Bible says love thy neighbor as thyself far too often we forget the last couple of words as thyself we really can&amp;#39;t love anyone out there unless the love starts inside us self-love is the most important gift we can give ourselves because when we love Who We Are we will not hurt ourselves and we will not hurt anyone else with inner peace there would be no Wars no gangs no terrorists and no homeless there would be no dis-ease no AIDS no cancer no poverty and no starvation so this to me is a prescription for World Peace to have peace within ourselves peace understanding compassion forgiveness and most of all love we have the power within us to affect these changes love is something we can choose same way we choose anger or hate or sadness we can choose love it&amp;#39;s always a choice within us let&amp;#39;s begin right now in this moment to choose love it&amp;#39;s the most powerful healing Force there is the information on this tape which has been part of my lectures over the past five years is yet another stepping stone on your pathway to self-discovery an opportunity to know a little bit more about yourself and to understand the potential that is your Birthright you have an opportunity to love yourself more so you can be a part of an Incredible Universe of love love begins in our hearts and it begins with us Let Your Love contribute to the healing of our planet part one becoming conscious when we expand our thinking and beliefs our love flows freely when we contract we shut ourselves off chapter one The Power Within the more you connect to the power within you the more you can be free in all areas of your life who are you why are you here what are your beliefs about life for thousands of years finding the answers to these questions has meant going Within but what does that mean I believe there is a power within each of us that can lovingly direct us to our perfect health perfect relationships perfect careers and which can bring us prosperity of every kind in order to have these things we have to believe First that they are possible next we must be willing to release the patterns in our lives that are creating conditions we say we do not want we do this by going Within and tapping the inner power that already knows what is best for us if we are willing to turn our lives over to this greater power within us power that loves and sustains us we can create more loving and prosperous lives I believe that our minds are always connected to the one infinite mind and therefore all knowledge and wisdom is available to us at any time we are connected to this infinite mind this Universal Power that created us through that spark of Light Within our higher self or The Power Within the Universal Power loves all of its creations it is a power for good and it directs everything in our lives it doesn&amp;#39;t know how to hate or lie or punish it is pure love Freedom understanding and compassion it is important to turn our lives over to our higher self because through it we receive our good we must understand that we have the choice to use this power in any way if we choose to live in the past and rehash all of the negative situations and conditions that went on way back when then we stay stuck where we are if we make a conscious decision not to be victims of the past and go about creating new lives for ourselves we are supported by this power within and new happier experiences begin to unfold I don&amp;#39;t believe in two powers I think there is one infinite spirit it&amp;#39;s all too easy to say it&amp;#39;s the devil or them it really is only us and either we use the power we have wisely or we misuse the power do we have the devil in our hearts do we condemn others for being different than we are what are we choosing responsibility versus blame I also believe that we contribute toward the creation of every condition in our lives good or bad with our thinking feeling patterns the thoughts we think create our feelings and then we begin to live our lives in accordance with these feelings and beliefs this is not to blame ourselves for things going wrong in our lives there is a difference between being responsible and blaming ourselves or others when I talk about responsibility I am really talking about having power blame is about giving away one&amp;#39;s power responsibility gives us the power to make changes in our lives if we play the victim role then we are using our personal power to be helpless if we decide to accept responsibility then we don&amp;#39;t waste time blaming somebody or something out there some people feel guilty for creating illness or poverty or problems they choose to interpret responsibility as guilt and some members of the media like to refer to it as new age guilt these people often feel guilty because they believe that they have failed in some way however they usually accept everything as a guilt trip in one way or another because it&amp;#39;s another way to make themselves wrong and that is not what I&amp;#39;m talking about if we can use our problems and illnesses as opportunities to think about how we can change our lives we have power many people who come through catastrophic illnesses say that it was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to them because it gave them a chance to go about their lives differently a lot of people on the other hand go around saying I&amp;#39;m a victim woe is me please doctor fix me I think these people will have a difficult time even getting well or handling their problems responsibility is our ability to respond to a situation we always have a choice it does not mean that we deny who we are and what we have in our lives it merely means that we can acknowledge that we have contributed to where we are by taking responsibility we have the power to change we can say what can I do to make this different we need to understand that we all have personal power all the time it depends on how we use it many of us are now realizing that we come from dysfunctional homes we carry over a lot of negative feelings about who we are and our relationship to life my childhood was filled with violence including sexual abuse I was starved for love and affection and had no self-esteem at all even after leaving home at the age of 15 I continued to experience abuse in many forms I hadn&amp;#39;t yet realized that the thinking feeling patterns I had learned early in life had brought this abuse upon me children often respond to the mental atmosphere of the adults around them so I learned early about fear and abuse and continued to recreate those experiences for myself as I grew up I certainly didn&amp;#39;t understand that I had the power to change all of this I was unmercifully hard on myself because I interpreted lack of love and affection to mean that I must be a bad person all of the events you have experienced in your lifetime up to this moment have been created by your thoughts and beliefs from the past let&amp;#39;s not look back on our lives with shame look at the past as part of the richness and fullness of your life without this richness and fullness we would not be here today there is no reason to beat yourself up because you didn&amp;#39;t do better you did the best you knew how release the past in love and be grateful that it has brought you to this new awareness the past only exists in our minds and in the way we choose to look at it in our minds this is the moment we are living this is the moment we are feeling this is the moment we are experiencing what we are doing right now is laying the groundwork for tomorrow so this is the moment to make the decision we can&amp;#39;t do anything tomorrow and we can&amp;#39;t do it yesterday we can only do it today what is important is what we are choosing to think believe and say right now when we begin to take conscious charge of our thoughts and words then we have tools that we can use I know this sounds simple but remember the point of power is always in the present moment it is important for you to understand that your mind is not in control you are in control of your mind the higher self is in control you can stop thinking those old thoughts when your old thinking tries to come back and say it&amp;#39;s so hard to change take mental command say to your mind I now choose to believe it is becoming easy for me to make changes you may have this conversation with your mind several times before it acknowledges that you are in charge and that you really mean what you say imagine that your thoughts are like drops of water one thought or one drop of water does not mean very much as you continue to repeat the same thoughts over and over you first notice the stain on the carpet then there&amp;#39;s a little puddle then a pond and as these thoughts continue they can become a lake and finally an ocean what kind of ocean are you creating one that is polluted and toxic and unfit to swim in or one that is crystal clear and blue and invites you to enjoy its refreshing Waters people often tell me I can&amp;#39;t stop thinking a certain thought I always reply yes you can remember how often you have refused to think a positive thought you just want to tell your mind that that is what you are going to do you want to make up your mind stop thinking negatively I&amp;#39;m not saying that you have to fight your thoughts when you want to change things when the negative thoughts come up simply say thank you for sharing in that way you are not denying what is there and you are not giving your power over to the negative thought tell yourself that you are not going to buy into the negativity anymore you want to create another way of thinking again you don&amp;#39;t have to fight your thoughts acknowledge and go beyond them don&amp;#39;t drown in a sea of your own negativity when you can float on the ocean of life you are meant to be a wonderful loving expression of life life is waiting for you to open up to it to feel worthy of the good it holds for you the wisdom and intelligence of the universe is yours to use life is here to support you trust the power within you to be there for you if you get scared it is helpful to become aware of your breath flows in and out of your body your breath the most precious substance of your life is freely given to you you have enough to last for as long as you shall live you accept this precious substance without even thinking and yet you doubt that life can supply you with the other necessities now is the time for you to learn about your own power and what you are capable of doing go Within and find out who you are we all have different opinions you have a right to yours and I have a right to mine no matter what goes on in the world the only thing you can work on is what is right for you you want to get in touch with your inner guidance because it is the wisdom that knows the answers for you it&amp;#39;s not easy to listen to yourself when your friends and family are telling you what to do yet all the answers to all the questions you are ever going to ask are within you now and every time you say I don&amp;#39;t know you shut the door to your own inner wisdom the messages you get from your higher self are positive and supportive of you if you start getting negative messages then you are working from ego and your human mind level and even perhaps your imagination although positive messages often come to us through our imagination and our dreams support yourself by making the right choices for you when in doubt ask yourself is this a decision that is loving for me is this right for me now you may make another decision at some later point a day a week or a month later but ask yourself these questions in each moment as we learn to love ourselves and Trust our higher power we become co-creators with the infinite Spirit of a loving world our love for ourselves moves us from being victims to being winners our love for ourselves attracts wonderful experiences to us have you ever noticed that people who feel good about themselves are naturally attractive they usually have a quality about them that is just wonderful they are happy with their lives things come to them easily and effortlessly I learned a long time ago that I am a being of Oneness with the presence and power of God knowing this that the wisdom and understanding of spirit resides Within Me and I know that I am therefore divinely guided in all my dealings with others just as all the stars and planets are in the perfect orbit I am also in my Divine Right order I may not understand everything with my limited human mind however on the cosmic level I know I am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing my present experience is a stepping stone to new awareness and new opportunities who are you what did you come here to learn what did you come here to teach we all have a unique purpose we are more than our personalities our problems our fears and our illnesses we are far more than our bodies we are all connected with everyone on the planet and with all of life we are all spirit light energy vibration and love and we all have the power to live our lives with purpose and meaning chapter 2. following my inner voice the thoughts we choose to think are the tools that we use to paint the canvas of Our Lives I remember when I first heard that I could change my life if I was willing to change my thinking it was quite a revolutionary idea to me I lived in New York and discovered the Church of religious science often people confuse the Church of religious science or science of mind which was founded by Ernest Holmes with the Christian Science Church founded by Mary Baker Eddie they all reflect new thought however they are different philosophies the science of mind has ministers and practitioners who carry on the teachings of the Church of religious science they were the very first people who told me that my thoughts shaped my future even though I didn&amp;#39;t understand what they meant this concept touched what I call the inner ding within me that place of intuition that is referred to as the Voice Within over the years I&amp;#39;ve learned to follow it because when that Ding goes yes even if it seems a crazy choice I know that it is right for me so these Concepts struck a chord in me something said yes they are right and then I began the adventure of learning how to change my thinking once I accepted the idea and said yes to it I went through the house I read a lot of books and my home became like many of yours filled with masses of spiritual and self-help books I went to classes for many years and I explored everything related to the subject I literally immersed myself in new thought philosophy a new way of thinking it was the first time that I had really studied in my life up until then I didn&amp;#39;t believe in anything my mother was a lapsed Catholic and my stepfather was an atheist I had some strange idea that Christians either wore hair shirts or were eaten by lions and neither appealed to me I really delved into science of mind because that was an Avenue that was open for me at the time and I found it really wonderful at first it was sort of easy I grasped a few Concepts and I started to think and talk a little bit differently in those days I was a constant complainer and full of self-pity I just loved to wallow in the pits I didn&amp;#39;t know that I was continually perpetuating more experiences in which to pity myself but then again I didn&amp;#39;t know any better in those days gradually I found that I was no longer complaining quite so much I started to listen to what I said I became aware of my self-criticism and I tried to stop it I began to babble affirmations without quite knowing what they meant I started with the easy ones of course and a few small changes began to take place I got the green lights and the parking places and boy did I think I was Hot Stuff wow I thought I knew it all and I very soon became quite cocky and arrogant and dogmatic in my beliefs I felt I knew all the answers in hindsight it was really my way of feeling safe in this new area when we start to move away from some of our old rigid beliefs especially if we&amp;#39;ve been previously in total control it can be very scary it was very frightening for me so I would grasp on to whatever would make me feel safe it was a beginning for me and I still had a long way to go and I still do like most of us I didn&amp;#39;t always find the pathway easy and smooth because just babbling affirmations didn&amp;#39;t work all the time and I couldn&amp;#39;t understand why I asked myself what am I doing wrong see immediately I blamed myself was this one more example of me not being good enough that was a favored old belief of mine at the time my teacher Eric Pace would look at me and refer to the idea of resentment I didn&amp;#39;t have the faintest idea what he was talking about resentment me surely I didn&amp;#39;t have any resentments after all I was on my pathway I was spiritually perfect how little I could see myself then I continued doing the best I could in my life I studied metaphysics and spirituality and learned about myself as much as possible I grasped what I could and sometimes I applied it often we hear a lot of things and sometimes we grasp them but we don&amp;#39;t always practice them time seemed to go by very quickly and at that point I had been studying signs of mine for about three years and had just become a practitioner of the church I began to teach the philosophy but I wondered why my students seemed to be floundering couldn&amp;#39;t understand why they were so stuck in their problems I gave them so much good advice why weren&amp;#39;t they using it and getting well it never dawned on me that I was speaking the truth more than I was living it I was like a parent who tells the child what to do but then does exactly the opposite then one day seemingly out of the blue I was diagnosed with vaginal cancer first I panicked like anyone else then I had doubts that all this stuff I was learning was valid it was a normal and natural reaction I thought to myself if I was clear and centered I wouldn&amp;#39;t have the need to create the illness in hindsight I think when I was diagnosed I felt safe enough at that point to let the illness surface so that I could do something about it rather than having it be another hidden secret that I wouldn&amp;#39;t know about until I was dead I Knew Too Much by then to hide from myself any longer I knew that cancer was a dis-ease of resentment that is held for a long time until it eats away at the body when we stifle our emotions inside of us they have to go somewhere in the body if we spend a lifetime stuffing things down they will eventually manifest somewhere in the body I became very aware that the resentment within me which my teacher had referred to so many times had to do with being a physically emotionally and sexually abused as a child naturally I would have resentment I was bitter and unforgiving of the past I had never done any work to change or release the bitterness and Let It Go when I left home it was all I could do to forget what had happened to me I thought I had put it behind me when in actuality I had simply buried it when I found my metaphysical pathway I covered up my feelings with a nice layer of spirituality and hid a lot of garbage inside me I put a wall around myself that kept me literally out of touch with my own feelings I didn&amp;#39;t know who I was or where I was after my diagnosis the real inner work of Learning To Know Myself began thank God I had tools to use I knew I needed to go Within Myself if I was going to make any permanent changes yes the doctor could give me an operation and perhaps take care of my illness for the moment but if I didn&amp;#39;t change the way I was using my thoughts and my words I&amp;#39;d probably recreate it again it&amp;#39;s always interesting to me to learn where in our bodies we put our cancers our diseases on which side of the body the left or the right the right side represents the masculine side from where we give out the left is the feminine side the receptive part from where we take in almost all of my life when anything went wrong it was always on the right side of my body it was where I stored all the resentment towards my stepfather and life I was no longer content to get green lights in parking places I knew I had to go much much deeper I realized that I was not really progressing in my life the way I wanted to because I hadn&amp;#39;t really cleared out this old garbage from childhood and I wasn&amp;#39;t living what I was teaching I had to recognize the inner child inside me and work with her my inner child needed help because she was still in great pain I quickly began a self-healing program in Earnest I concentrated totally on me and did Little Else I became very committed to getting well some of it was a little weird yet I did it anyway after all this was my life on the line it became almost a 24 hour a day job for the next six months I began reading and studying everything I could find out about alternative ways to heal cancer because I truly believed it could be done I did a nutritional cleansing program that detoxified my body from all the junk Foods I had eaten for years for months I seemed to be living on sprouts and pureed asparagus I know I had more to eat but that is what I remember the most I worked with my science of Mind Minister and teacher Eric Pace to clear the mental patterns so the cancer wouldn&amp;#39;t return I said affirmations and did visualizations prayers and spiritual mind treatments I did daily sessions in front of a mirror the most difficult words to say were I love you I really love you it took a lot of tears and a lot of breathing to get through it when I did it was as if I took a Quantum Leap I also went to a good psychotherapist who was skilled in helping people Express and release their anger I spent a long period of time beating pillows and screaming it was wonderful it felt so good because I had never ever had permission to do that in my life I don&amp;#39;t know which method worked maybe a little bit of everything worked most of all I was really consistent with what I did I practiced during all my waking hours I thanked myself before I went to sleep for what I had done during the day I affirm that my healing process was taking place in my body while I slept and that I would awaken in the morning bright and refreshed and feeling good in the morning I&amp;#39;d awaken and thank myself and my body for the work that was done during the night I would affirm that I was willing to grow and learn each day and make changes without seeing myself as a bad person I also worked on understanding and forgiveness one of the ways was to explore my parents childhoods as much as I could I began to understand how they were treated as children and I realized that because of the way they were brought up they couldn&amp;#39;t really have done anything differently than they did my stepfather was abused at home and he continued this abuse with his children my mother was brought up to believe that the man was always right and you stood by and let him do what he wanted no one taught them a different approach it was their way of life step by step my growing understanding of them enabled me to start the Forgiveness process the more I forgave my parents the more willing I was to forgive myself forgiveness of ourselves is enormously important many of us do the same damage to the inner child that our parents did to us we just continue the abuse and it&amp;#39;s very sad when we were children and the other people mistreated us we didn&amp;#39;t have many options but when we grow up and we still mistreat the inner child it&amp;#39;s disastrous as I forgave myself I began to trust myself I found that when we don&amp;#39;t trust life for other people it&amp;#39;s really because we don&amp;#39;t trust ourselves we don&amp;#39;t trust our higher selves to take care of us in all situations so we say I&amp;#39;ll never fall in love again because I don&amp;#39;t want to get hurt or I&amp;#39;ll never let this happen again we are really saying to ourself I don&amp;#39;t trust you enough to take good care of me so I&amp;#39;m going to stay away from everything eventually I began to trust myself enough to take care of me and I found it easier and easier to love myself once I trusted myself my body was healing and my heart was healing my real spiritual growth had come in such an unexpected way as a bonus I began to look younger the clients I now attracted were almost all people who were willing to work on themselves they made enormous progress without me really doing anything they could sense and feel that I was living the concepts I was teaching and it was easy for them to accept these ideas of course they had positive results they began to improve the quality of their lives once we began to make peace with ourselves on the inner level life seems to flow much more pleasantly so what did this experience teach me personally I realized that I had the power to change my life if I was willing to change my thinking and release the patterns that kept me living in the past this experience gave me the inner knowledge that if we are willing really willing to do the work the mental work we can make incredible changes in our minds our bodies and our lives no matter where you are in life no matter what you&amp;#39;ve contributed to creating no matter what&amp;#39;s happening you are always doing the best you can with the understanding and awareness and knowledge that you have and when you know more you will do it differently as I did don&amp;#39;t berate yourself for Where You Are don&amp;#39;t blame yourself for not doing it faster or better say to yourself I&amp;#39;m doing the best I can and even though I&amp;#39;m in a mess now I will get out of it somehow so let&amp;#39;s find the best way to do it if all you do is tell yourself that you&amp;#39;re stupid and no good then you stay stuck you need your own loving support if you want to make changes the methods I use are not my methods most of them I learned at science of mind which is what I basically teach yet these principles are as old as time if you read any of the old spiritual teachings you will find the same messages I am trained as a minister of the Church of religious science however I do not have a church I am a free spirit I express the teachings in simple language so that they may reach many people this path is a wonderful way of getting your head together and really understanding what life is all about and how you can use your own mind to take charge of your life when I started all this over 20 years ago I had no idea that I would be able to bring hope and help to the number of people that I do today chapter 3 the power of your spoken word every day declare for yourself what you want in life declare it as though you have it the law of mind there is a law of gravity and there are several other physical laws like physics and electricity most of which I don&amp;#39;t understand there are also spiritual laws like the law of cause and effect what you give out comes back there is also a law of mind I don&amp;#39;t know how it works in much the same way that I don&amp;#39;t know how electricity works I only know that when I flick the switch the light comes on I believe that when we think of thought or when we speak a word or a sentence it somehow goes out from us into a law of mind and comes back to us as experience we are now beginning to learn the correlation between the mental and the physical we are beginning to understand how the mind works and that our thoughts are creative our thoughts speed through our minds very quickly so it is difficult to shape them at first our mouths on the other hand are slower so if we can start editing our speech by listening to what we say and not letting negative things come out of our mouths then we can begin to shape and control our thoughts there is tremendous power in our spoken words and many of us are not aware just how important they are let us consider words as the foundation of what we continually create in our lives we use words all the time yet we Babble away seldom thinking about what we are truly saying or how we are saying it we pay very little attention to the selection of our words in fact most of us speak in negatives as children we were taught grammar we were taught to select words according to these rules of grammar however I have always found that the rules of grammar continually change and what was improper at one time is proper at another time or vice versa what was slang in the past is considered common usage in the present however grammar does not take into consideration the meaning of words and how they affect our lives on the other hand I was not taught in school that my choice of words would have anything to do with what I would experience in life no one taught me that my thoughts were creative or that they could literally shape my life nobody taught me that what I gave out in the form of words would return to me as experiences the purpose of the golden rule was to show us a very basic law of Life do unto others as you would have them do unto you or what you give out comes back to you it was never meant to cause guilt no one ever taught me that I was worth loving or that I deserved good and nobody taught me that life was here to support me I remember that as children we would often call each other cruel and hurtful names and try to belittle one another but why did we do that where did we learn such Behavior look at what we were taught many of us were told repeatedly by our parents or teachers that we were stupid or dumb or lazy we were a nuisance and not good enough sometimes we heard our parents say that they wished we had never been born maybe we cringed when we heard these words but little did we realize how deeply embedded the hurt and pain would become changing our self-talk too often we accepted the early messages that our parents gave us we heard Eat Your Spinach clean your room or make your bed in order to be loved you got the idea that you were only acceptable if you did certain things that acceptance and love were conditional however that was according to somebody&amp;#39;s idea of what was worthwhile and had nothing to do with your deep inner self-worth you got the idea that you could only exist if you did these things to please others otherwise you did not have permission to even exist these early messages contribute to what I call our self-talk the way we talk to ourselves the way we talk to ourselves inwardly is really important because it becomes the basis of our spoken words it sets up the mental atmosphere in which we operate and which attracts to us our experiences if we belittle ourselves life is going to mean very little to us if we love and appreciate ourselves then life can be a wonderful joyous gift if our lives are unhappy or if we are feeling unfulfilled it&amp;#39;s very easy to blame our parents or them and say it&amp;#39;s all their fault however if we do we stay stuck in our conditions our problems and our frustrations words of blame will not bring us freedom remember there is a power in our words again our power comes from taking responsibility for our lives I know it sounds scary to be responsible for our lives but we really are whether we accept it or not if we want to be responsible for our lives we&amp;#39;ve got to be responsible for our mouths the words and phrases we say are only extensions of our thoughts start to listen to what you say if you hear yourself using negative or limiting words change them if I hear a negative story I don&amp;#39;t go around repeating it to everyone I think it has gone far enough and I let it go if I hear a positive story however I will tell everyone when you are out with other people begin to listen to what they say and how they say it see if you can connect what they say with what they are experiencing in life many many people live their lives in shoulds should is a word that my ear is very attuned to it is as if a bell goes off every time I hear it often I will hear people use a dozen shoulds in a paragraph these same people wonder why their lives are so rigid or why they can&amp;#39;t move out of a situation they want a lot of control over things that they cannot control they are either making themselves wrong or making someone else wrong and then they question why they aren&amp;#39;t living lives of freedom we can also remove the expression have to from our vocabulary and our thinking as well when we do we will release a lot of self-imposed pressure on ourselves we create tremendous pressure by saying I have to go to work I have to do this I have to I have to instead let&amp;#39;s begin to say choose to I choose to go to work because it pays the rent right now or whatever come from Choice choose to puts a whole different perspective on our lives everything we do is by choice even though it may not seem to be so a lot of us also use the word but we make statements then we say but which heads Us in two different directions we give conflicting messages to ourselves listen to how you use the word but the next time you speak another expression we could be mindful of is don&amp;#39;t forget we are so used to saying don&amp;#39;t forget this or that and what happens we forget we really want to remember and instead we forget so we can begin to use the phrase please remember in place of don&amp;#39;t forget or I will always remember instead of I will never forget when you wake up in the morning do you curse the fact that you have to go to work do you complain about the weather do you Grumble at your back or your head hurts what is the second and third thing you think or say do you yell at the children to get up most people say more or less the same thing every morning how does what you say start your day is it positive and cheerful and wonderful or is it whining and condemning if you Grumble and complain and moan you&amp;#39;re setting yourself up for just such a day what are your last thoughts before going to bed are they powerful healing thoughts or poverty worry thoughts when I speak of poverty thoughts I don&amp;#39;t mean only about the lack of money it can be a negative way of thinking about anything in your life any part of your life that is not flowing freely do you worry about tomorrow usually I will read something positive before I go to sleep I am aware that when I sleep I am doing a lot of clearing that will prepare me for the next day I find it very helpful to turn over to my dreams any problems or questions I may have I know my dreams will help me take care of whatever is going on in my life I am the only person who can think in my mind just like you are the only person who can think in your mind nobody can force us to think in a different way we choose our thoughts and these are the basis for our self-talk as I experienced how this process worked more in my life I began to live more of what I was teaching others I really watched my words and my thoughts and I constantly forgave myself for not being perfect I allowed myself to be me rather than struggling to be a super person who may only be acceptable in others eyes when I began for the first time to trust life and to see it as a friendly place I lightened up my humor became less biting and more truly funny I worked on releasing criticism and Judgment of myself and other people and I stopped telling disaster stories we are so quick to spread bad news it&amp;#39;s just amazing I stopped reading the newspaper and gave up the 11 o&amp;#39;clock news at night because all the reports were concerned with disaster and violence and very little good news I realized that most people don&amp;#39;t want to hear good news they love to hear bad news so that they have something to complain about too many of us keep recycling the negative stories until we believe that there is only bad in the world for a while there was a radio station that broadcast only good news but it went out of business when I had my cancer I decided to stop gossiping and to my surprise I found I had nothing to say to anyone I became aware that whenever I met a friend I would immediately dish the latest dirt with them eventually I discovered there were other ways of talking although it wasn&amp;#39;t an easy habit to break nonetheless if I gossiped about other people then other people probably gossiped about me because what we give out we get back as I worked more and more with people I really began to listen to what they said I really began to hear the words not just get the general drift usually after 10 minutes with a new client I could tell exactly why they had a problem because I could hear the words they were using I could understand them by the way they were talking I knew that their words were contributing to their problems if they were talking negatively imagine what their self-talk was like it must be more of the same negative programming poverty thinking as I called it a little exercise I suggest you do is to put a tape recorder by your telephone and every time you make or get a call Push the record button when the tape is full on both sides listen to what you&amp;#39;ve been saying and how you say it you will probably be amazed you will begin to hear the words you use and the inflection of your voice you will begin to become aware if you find yourself saying something three times or more write it down because it is a pattern some of the patterns may be positive and supportive and you may also have some very negative patterns that you repeat over and over and over again the power of the subconscious mind in light of what I&amp;#39;ve been speaking of I want to discuss the power of our subconscious Minds our subconscious Minds make no judgments the subconscious mind accepts everything we say and creates according to our beliefs it always says yes our subconscious minds love us enough to give us what we declare we have choice though if we choose these poverty beliefs and Concepts then it is assumed that we want them it will continue to give us these things until we are willing to change our thoughts and words and beliefs for the better we are never stuck because we can always choose again there are billions and billions of thoughts from which to choose our subconscious Minds don&amp;#39;t know true from false or right from wrong we don&amp;#39;t want to deprecate ourselves in any way we don&amp;#39;t want to say something like oh stupid old me because the subconscious mind will pick up this self-talk and after a while you will feel that way if you say it enough times it will become a belief in your subconscious the subconscious mind has no sense of humor and it is important for you to know and understand this concept you cannot make a joke about yourself and think it doesn&amp;#39;t mean anything if it is a put down about yourself even if you&amp;#39;re trying to be cute or funny about it the subconscious mind accepts it as true I don&amp;#39;t let people tell put down jokes in my workshops they can be raunchy but not put Downs of a nationality or sex or whatever so don&amp;#39;t joke about yourself and make derogatory remarks about yourself because they will not create good experiences for you don&amp;#39;t belittle others either the subconscious mind doesn&amp;#39;t distinguish between you and the other person it hears the words and it believes you are talking about yourself the next time you want to criticize someone ask why you feel that way about yourself you only see in others what you see in yourself instead of criticizing others praise them and within a month you will see enormous change within you our words are really a matter of approach and attitude notice the way that lonely unhappy poor sick people talk what words do they use what have they accepted as the truth for themselves how do they describe themselves how do they describe their work their lives their relationships what do they look forward to be aware of their words but please don&amp;#39;t run around telling strangers that they are ruining their lives by the way they talk don&amp;#39;t do it to your family and friends either because the information will not be appreciated instead use this information to begin to make the connection for yourself and practice it if you want your life to change because even on the smallest level if you change the way you talk your experiences are going to change if you are a person with an illness who believes that it is fatal and that you&amp;#39;re going to die and that life is no good because nothing ever works for you then guess what you can choose to release your negative concept of life start affirming for yourself that you are a person who is lovable and that you are worth healing and that you attract everything you need on the physical level to contribute to your healing know that you are willing to get well and that it is safe for you to get well many people only feel safe when they are sick they are usually the kind that have difficulty saying the word no the only way they can say no is by saying I&amp;#39;m too sick to do it it&amp;#39;s a perfect excuse I remember a woman at one of my workshops who had three cancer operations she couldn&amp;#39;t say no to anybody her father was a doctor and she was Daddy&amp;#39;s good little girl so whatever daddy told her to do she did it was impossible for her to say no no matter what you asked her she had to say yes it took four days to get her to literally shriek no at the top of her lungs I had her do it while shaking her fist no no no no and once she got into it she loved it I find that many women with breast cancer can&amp;#39;t say no they nourish everybody except themselves one of the things I recommend to a woman with breast cancer is that she must learn to say no no I don&amp;#39;t want to do it no two or three months of saying no to everything and everyone will begin to turn things around she needs to nourish herself by saying this is what I want to do not what you want me to do when I used to work with clients privately I would hear them argue on behalf of their limitations and they would always want me to know why they were stuck because of one reason or another if we believe we are stuck and accept that we are stuck then we are stuck we get stuck because our negative beliefs are being fulfilled instead let&amp;#39;s begin to focus on our strengths many of you tell me that my tape saved your lives I want you to realize that no book or tape is going to save you a little piece of tape in a plastic box is not saving your life what you are doing with the information is what matters I can give you plenty of ideas yet what you do with them is going to count I suggest that you listen to a particular tape over and over again for a month or more so that the ideas become a new habit pattern I&amp;#39;m not your healer or savior the only person who&amp;#39;s going to make a change in your life is you now what are the messages you want to hear I know I say this over and over again loving yourself is the most important thing you can do because when you love yourself you&amp;#39;re not going to hurt yourself or anyone else it&amp;#39;s my prescription for World Peace if I don&amp;#39;t hurt me and I don&amp;#39;t hurt you how can we have War the more of us who can get to that place the better the planet will be let&amp;#39;s begin to be conscious of what is going on by listening to the words we speak to ourselves and to others then we can begin to make the changes that will help heal ourselves as well as the rest of the planet chapter 4 reprogramming old tapes be willing to take the first step no matter how small it is concentrate on the fact that you are willing to learn absolute Miracles will happen affirmations do work now that we understand a little bit more about how powerful our thoughts and words are we can choose to retrain our thinking and speaking into positive patterns if we&amp;#39;re going to get beneficial results are you willing to change your self-talk into positive affirmations remember every time you think a thought and every time you speak a word you are saying an affirmation an affirmation is a beginning point it opens the way to change in essence you are saying to your subconscious mind I am taking responsibility I am aware that there is something I can do to change when I talk about doing affirmations I mean to consciously choose sentences or words that will either help to eliminate something from your life or help to create something new in your life and you do this in a positive way if you say I don&amp;#39;t want to be sick anymore the subconscious mind hears sick more now you want to tell it clearly what you do want that is say I am a healthy person I radiate good health the subconscious mind is very straightforward it has no strategy or designs what it hears is what it does if you say I hate this car it doesn&amp;#39;t give you a wonderful new car because it doesn&amp;#39;t know what you want even if you get a new car you will probably hate it soon because that is what you&amp;#39;ve been saying about it the subconscious only hears hate this car you need to clearly declare your desires in a positive way as in I have a beautiful new car that suits all my needs or I always have a car that I love if there is something in your life that you really dislike I have found one of the quickest ways to release it is to bless it with love I bless you with love and I release you and let you go this works for people situations objects and living quarters you could even try it on a habit you would like to be free of and see what happens I knew one man who said I bless you with love and release you from my life to every cigarette he smoked after a few days his desire for smoking was considerably less and in a few weeks The Habit was gone you deserve good think for a moment what is it you really want right now what is it you want today in your life think about it and then say I accept for myself whatever it is that you want this is where I find that most of us get stuck the bottom line is the belief that we don&amp;#39;t deserve to have what we want our personal power lies in the way we perceive our deservability our not deserving comes from childhood messages again we don&amp;#39;t have to feel that we cannot change because of these messages often people will come to me and say Louise affirmations don&amp;#39;t work it really has nothing to do with affirmations it is the fact that we don&amp;#39;t believe we deserve the good the way to find out if you believe that you deserve something is to say an affirmation and notice the thoughts that come up as you say it then write them down because when you see these thoughts on paper they will be very clear to you the only thing that keeps you from deserving or loving yourself or whatever is someone else&amp;#39;s belief or opinion that you have accepted as truth when we don&amp;#39;t believe that we deserve good we will knock the pinnings out from under ourselves which we can do in a variety of ways we can create chaos we can lose things we can hurt ourselves or have physical problems like falling or have accidents we want to start believing that we deserve all the good that life has to offer in order to reprogram the false or negative belief what would be the first thought that you would need to begin to create this new whatever in your life what would be the building block or the foundation that you would need to stand on what would be the sort of thing that you would need to know for yourself to believe to accept some good thoughts to start with could be I am worthwhile I am deserving I love myself I allow myself to be fulfilled Etc these Concepts form the very basis of beliefs on which you can build do your affirmations on top of these building blocks to create what you want whenever I speak somewhere someone will come up to me at the end of the lecture or will write me a letter and tell me that he or she has had a healing take place while they were in the room sometimes it&amp;#39;s very minor and sometimes it&amp;#39;s quite dramatic a woman came up to me once and told me that she had had a lump in her breast and it literally disappeared during the lecture she heard something and she decided to let something go this is a good example of how powerful we are when we are not ready to let something go when we really want to hold on to something because it&amp;#39;s serving Us in some way it doesn&amp;#39;t matter what we do it probably won&amp;#39;t work however when we are ready to let it go as this woman was it&amp;#39;s amazing how the smallest circumstance can help us release it if you still have a habit that you haven&amp;#39;t released ask yourself how it serves you what do you get out of it if you can&amp;#39;t get an answer ask in a different way if I no longer had this habit what would happen very often the answer is my life would be better so it comes back to the fact that we believe we don&amp;#39;t deserve a better life in some way ordering from the cosmic kitchen when you first say an affirmation it may not seem true but remember affirmations are like planting seeds in the ground when you put a seed in the ground you don&amp;#39;t get a full-grown plant the next day we need to be patient during the growing season as you continue to say the affirmation either you will be ready to release whatever you don&amp;#39;t want and the affirmation will become true or it will open a new Avenue to you or you may get a brilliant brainstorm or a friend may call you and say have you tried this you will be led to the next step that will help you keep your affirmations in the present tense you can sing them and make a jingle out of them so that they repeat over and over in your head remember that you cannot affect a specific person&amp;#39;s actions with your affirmations to affirm that John is now in love with me is a form of manipulation and it is trying to have control over another person&amp;#39;s life it will usually have a boomerang effect on you you will become very unhappy when you don&amp;#39;t get what you want you can say I am now loved by a wonderful man who is and lists the qualities that you want in the relationship that way you allow the power within you to bring to you the perfect person to fill that bill who may possibly be John you don&amp;#39;t know what another person&amp;#39;s spiritual lesson is and you don&amp;#39;t have a right to interfere in their life process you certainly wouldn&amp;#39;t want someone else doing it to you if someone is ill bless them and send them love and peace but don&amp;#39;t demand that they get well I like to think of doing affirmations as placing our order in the cosmic kitchen if you go to a restaurant and the waiter or waitress comes and takes your order you don&amp;#39;t follow them into the kitchen to see if the chef got the order or how he&amp;#39;s going to prepare the food you sit and drink water or coffee or tea or you talk to your friend and maybe Eat Your Role you assume that your food is being prepared and will be out when it&amp;#39;s ready it&amp;#39;s the same when we begin to do affirmations when we put our order into the cosmic kitchen the great chef our higher power is working on it so you go on with your life and know that it is being taken care of it&amp;#39;s on order it&amp;#39;s happening now if the food comes out and it isn&amp;#39;t exactly what you ordered and if you have self-esteem you will send it back if not you will eat it you also have a right to do that with the cosmic kitchen if you don&amp;#39;t get exactly what you want you can say no that&amp;#39;s not quite it this is what I want perhaps you weren&amp;#39;t clear in your ordering the idea here too is to let go at the end of my treatments and meditations I use the words and so it is it&amp;#39;s a way of saying higher power it&amp;#39;s in your hands now I release it to you reprogramming the subconscious mind the thoughts we think accumulate and when we are unaware the old thought resurfaces when we are reprogramming our minds it is normal and natural that we go a little forward we come a little back and we go a little forward again it&amp;#39;s part of practicing I don&amp;#39;t think there is any new skill that you can learn absolutely a hundred percent in the first few minutes do you remember when you first learned how to use a computer how frustrating it was it took practice you had to learn how it worked to learn its laws and systems I called my first computer my magic lady for when I mastered her rules she did indeed deliver what seemed like magic to me yet while I was learning the way she would teach me I was off track or going in the wrong direction was to devour pages of work that I would then have to do all over again out of all the mistakes I learned how to flow with the system to flow with the system of life you want to become aware that your subconscious mind is like a computer garbage in garbage out if you put negative thoughts in then negative experiences come out yes it takes time and practice to learn the new ways of thinking be patient with yourself when you are learning something new and the old pattern returns are you going to say oh I didn&amp;#39;t learn anything or are you going to say okay that&amp;#39;s all right come on let&amp;#39;s do it again the new way or say you cleared an issue and think you&amp;#39;ll never have to deal with it again how do you know if you&amp;#39;ve really worked it through unless you test yourself so you bring up the Old Situation one more time and watch how you react if you jump right back into the old way of reacting to it then you know you haven&amp;#39;t really learned that particular lesson and you need to do more work on it that&amp;#39;s all it means you want to realize it&amp;#39;s only a little test to see how far you&amp;#39;ve come if you begin to repeat your affirmations the new statements of truth about yourself you give yourself an opportunity to react differently whether it&amp;#39;s a health problem a financial one or a relationship difficulty if you react in a new way to the situation then you&amp;#39;re on your way to having another issue handled and you can move on to other areas remember too that we work on layers at a time you can reach a plateau and think I&amp;#39;ve done it and then later on some old issue resurfaces and you may injure yourself or get sick and you don&amp;#39;t get better for some time look to see what the underlying beliefs are it may mean that you have some more work to do because you are going to the next deeper layer don&amp;#39;t feel that you&amp;#39;re not good enough because something you&amp;#39;ve worked to clear comes up again when I discovered that I was not a bad person because once again I was facing an old issue it became much easier for me to keep going I learned to say to myself Louise you&amp;#39;re doing very well look how far you have come you just need more practice and I love you I believe that each one of us decides to Incarnate upon this planet at particular points in time and space we have chosen to come here to learn a particular lesson that will advance us on our spiritual evolutionary pathway one of the ways to allow the process of life to unfold for you in a positive healthy way is to declare your own personal truths choose to move away from the limiting beliefs that have been denying you the benefits you so desire declare that your negative thought patterns will be erased from your mind let go of your fears and burdens for a long time now I have been believing the following ideas and they have worked for me everything I need to know is revealed to me everything I need comes to me in the perfect time space sequence life is a joy and filled with love I am loving and lovable and loved I am healthy and filled with energy I Prosper wherever I turn I am willing to change and to grow and all is well in my world I have learned that we don&amp;#39;t always stay positive 100 of the time and I include myself in this knowledge as much as possible I see Life as a wonderful joyous experience I believe that I am safe I have made it a personal law for me I believe that everything I need to know is revealed to me so I need to keep my eyes and ears open when I had cancer I remember thinking that a foot reflexologist would be very helpful to me one evening I went to a lecture of some sort usually I sit in the front row because I like being close to the speaker however that night I was compelled to sit in the back row and right after I sat down a foot reflexologist sat next to me we began to talk and I learned that he even made house calls I didn&amp;#39;t have to look for him he came to me I also believe that whatever I need comes to me in the perfect time space sequence when something goes wrong in my life I immediately start to think all is well it&amp;#39;s okay I know that this is all right it&amp;#39;s a lesson it&amp;#39;s an experience and I&amp;#39;ll pass through it there is something here that is for my highest good all is well just breathe it&amp;#39;s okay and I do the best I can to calm myself so I can think rationally about whatever is going on and of course I do work through everything it may take a little time but sometimes things that seem to be great disasters really turn out to be quite good in the end or at least not the disasters that they seem to be in the beginning every event is a learning experience I do a lot of positive self-talk morning noon and night I come from a loving space of the heart and I practice loving myself and others as much as I possibly can my capacity to love expands all the time what I do today is much more than I was doing six months or a year ago I know a year from now my Consciousness and my heart will have expanded and I&amp;#39;ll be doing even more I know that what I believe about myself becomes true for me so I choose to believe wonderful things about myself there was a time when I didn&amp;#39;t so I know I have grown and I continue to work on myself I also believe in meditation to me meditation is when we sit down and turn off our dialogue long enough to hear our own inner wisdom when I meditate I usually close my eyes take a deep breath and ask what is it I need to know I sit and listen I might also ask what is it I need to learn or what is the lesson in this sometimes we think we&amp;#39;re supposed to fix everything in our lives and maybe we&amp;#39;re really only supposed to learn something from the situation I remember when I first began to meditate I had violent headaches for the first three weeks meditation was so unfamiliar and against all my usual inner programming nevertheless I hung in there and the headaches eventually disappeared if you are constantly coming up with a tremendous amount of negativity when you meditate it may mean that it needs to come up and when you quiet yourself it starts to flow to the surface simply see the negativity being released try not to fight it allow it to continue as long as it needs to if you fall asleep when you meditate that&amp;#39;s all right too let the body do what it needs to do it will balance out in time reprogramming your negative beliefs is very powerful a good way to do it is by making a tape with your own voice saying your affirmations play it as you go to sleep it will have a great deal of value for you because you will be listening to your own voice an even more powerful tape would be your mother&amp;#39;s voice telling you how wonderful you are and how much she loves you once you have the tape it&amp;#39;s good to relax the body before you begin reprogramming some people like to start with the tips of their toes and move to the top of their head tensing and relaxing however you do it breathe and release the tension let the emotions go get to a state of openness and receptivity the more relaxed you are the easier it is to receive the new information remember you are always in charge and you are always safe it&amp;#39;s wonderful to listen to tapes or read self-awareness books and do your affirmations but what are you doing for the other 23 hours or so a day you see that is what really matters if you sit down and meditate and then get up and rush to work and scream at somebody that counts too meditations and affirmations are wonderful yet what you do at other times are just as important treat doubt as a friendly reminder I&amp;#39;m often asked questions about whether people are doing affirmations correctly or whether they are even working and about doubt I&amp;#39;d like you to think of Doubt a little differently than you may have been I believe that the subconscious mind resides in the solar plexus area of the body where you carry those gut feelings when something sudden happens don&amp;#39;t you immediately get a strong feeling in your gut it is where you take everything in and store it ever since we were little children every message we have received everything we have done all the experiences we have had all that we have said have all gone into the filing cabinets right there in the solar plexus area I like to think that there are little Messengers in there and when we think thoughts or have experiences the messages go in and The Messengers file them in the appropriate files for many of us we have been building up files labeled I&amp;#39;m not good enough I&amp;#39;ll never make it I don&amp;#39;t do it right we have gotten absolutely buried under these files suddenly we do a few affirmations such as I&amp;#39;m wonderful and I love myself and The Messengers pick them up and say what&amp;#39;s this where does it go we&amp;#39;ve never seen this one before so The Messengers call doubt doubt come over here and see what&amp;#39;s going on so doubt picks up the message and asks the conscious mind what&amp;#39;s this you&amp;#39;ve always been saying the other things and on a conscious level we can react in two ways we can say oh you&amp;#39;re right I&amp;#39;m terrible I&amp;#39;m no good I&amp;#39;m sorry that&amp;#39;s not the right message and go back to our old ways or we can say to doubt that was the old message I have no need for it now this is the new message tell doubt to start a new file because there will be lots of these loving messages coming through from now on learn to treat doubt as a friend not the enemy and thank it for questioning you use it to strengthen your new beliefs it doesn&amp;#39;t matter what work you do in this world doesn&amp;#39;t matter if you are a bank president or a dishwasher a housewife or a sailor you have wisdom inside of you that is connected to universal truth when you are willing to look within and ask a simple question such as what is this experience trying to teach me and if you are willing to listen then you will have the answer most of us are so busy running around creating the soap opera and drama we call Our Lives that we don&amp;#39;t hear anything don&amp;#39;t give your power over to other people&amp;#39;s pictures of right and wrong they only have power over us when we give our power to them groups of people give their power over to others it happens in a lot of cultures women in our culture often give their power to men they say things like my husband won&amp;#39;t allow me to well that&amp;#39;s certainly giving your power away if you believe it you box yourself into a place where you can&amp;#39;t do anything unless you are given permission by another person who do you give your power to the more open-minded you are the more you learn and the more you can grow and change a woman once shared with me that when she got married she was very unassertive because that was the way she was brought up it took years for her to realize that her conditioning kept her locked in a corner she blamed everyone her husband and her in-laws for her problems eventually she divorced her husband however she still blamed him for so many things that were not right in her life it took her 10 years to relearn her patterns and to take her power back in hindsight she realized that she was responsible for not speaking up and for not standing up for herself not her husband or her in-laws they were there to reflect back to her what she felt inside a sense of powerlessness don&amp;#39;t give your power away based on what you read either I remember years ago I read some articles in a well-known magazine and I happened to know something about each subject described in the Articles and in my opinion the information was totally erroneous the magazine lost all credibility for me and I didn&amp;#39;t read it again for many years you are the authority in your life so don&amp;#39;t think that because something is in print that it&amp;#39;s always the truth inspirational speaker Terry Cole Whitaker wrote a wonderful book called what you think of me is none of my business it&amp;#39;s true what you think of me is none of my business it&amp;#39;s your business in the end what you think of me is going out from you in vibrations and will come back to you when we have illumination when we become conscious of what we are doing we can begin to change our lives life is really here for you you need only ask tell life what you want and then allow the good to happen part two dissolving the barriers we want to know what is going on inside us so we can know what to let go instead of hiding our pain we can release it totally chapter 5 understanding the blocks that bind you chronic patterns of self-hate guilt and self-criticism raise the body&amp;#39;s stress levels and weaken the immune system now that we understand a little more about the power that we have within us let&amp;#39;s take a look at what keeps us from using it I think that almost all of us have barriers of some kind or another even when we do a lot of work on ourselves and clear out the blocks new layers of old barriers still keep coming up many of us feel so flawed that we believe that we are not good enough and never will be again if we find something wrong with us then we are going to find something wrong with other people as well if we are still continuing to say I can&amp;#39;t do this because my mother said or my father did then we have not yet grown up so now you want to let your barriers go and perhaps learn something different that you didn&amp;#39;t know before now perhaps one sentence here will trigger a new thought can you imagine how wonderful it would be if every day you learned a new idea that would help you let go of the past and create Harmony in your life when you become aware and understand the individual process of life you will know what direction to take if you put your energies into learning something about yourself you will eventually see those problems and issues that you need to dissolve we all have challenges in life everybody does nobody goes through life without them otherwise what would be the purpose of coming to this particular school called Earth for some there are health challenges and for other people there are relationship challenges or career or financial challenges some have a little or a lot of everything I think one of our biggest problems is that most of us haven&amp;#39;t the faintest idea of what it is we want to let go we know that it&amp;#39;s not working and we know what we want in our life yet we don&amp;#39;t know what&amp;#39;s holding us back so let&amp;#39;s take time to look at the blocks that bind us if you think for a moment about your own patterns and problems and the things that hold you back which categories do they fall into criticism fear guilt or resentment I call these categories the Big Four which is your favorite one mine was a combination of criticism and resentment maybe you are like me and have two or three is it fear that always comes up or guilt are you very very critical or resentful let me point out that resentment is anger that is stuffed down so if you believe you are not allowed to express your anger then you have stored a lot of resentment we cannot deny our feelings we cannot conveniently ignore them when I had my cancer diagnosis I had to look very clearly at myself I had to acknowledge some nonsense that I didn&amp;#39;t want to admit about myself for instance I was a very resentful person and I carried a lot of bitterness from the past I said Louise you have no time to indulge in that anymore you really must change or as Peter McWilliams says you can no longer afford the luxury of a negative thought your experiences always reflect your inner beliefs you can literally look at your experiences and determine what your beliefs are maybe it&amp;#39;s disturbing to consider but if you look at the people in your life they are all mirroring some belief you have about yourself if you are always being criticized at work it is probably because you are critical and have become the parent who once criticized the child everything in our lives is a mirror of Who We Are when something is happening out there that is not comfortable we have an opportunity to look inside and say how am I contributing to this experience what is it within me that believes I deserve this we all have family patterns and it is very easy for us to blame our parents or our childhood or our environment but that keeps us stuck we don&amp;#39;t become free we remain victims and we perpetrate the same problems over and over again so it really doesn&amp;#39;t matter what anybody else did to you or what they taught you in the past today is a new day you are now in charge now is the moment in which you are creating the future in your life and your world it really doesn&amp;#39;t matter what I say either because only you can do the work only you can change the way you think and feel and act I&amp;#39;m just saying that you can you definitely can because you have a higher power within you that can help you break free from these patterns if you allow it you can remind yourself that when you were a little baby you loved yourself for who you were there is not one little baby who criticizes its body and thinks oh my hips are too big babies are thrilled and delighted just because they have bodies they express their feelings when a baby is happy you know it and when a baby is angry the whole neighborhood knows it they are never afraid to let people know how they feel they live in the moment and you were like that once as you grew up you listen to people around you and you learned about fear and guilt and criticism from them if you grew up in a family where criticism was the norm then you are going to be critical as an adult if you grew up in a family where you were not allowed to express anger then you are probably terrified of anger and confrontation and you swallow it and let it reside in your body if you were raised in a family where everybody was manipulated by guilt then you are probably going to be the same way as an adult you are probably a person who runs around saying I&amp;#39;m sorry all the time and can never ask for anything outright you feel you have to be manipulative in some way in order to get what you want as we grow up we begin to pick up these false ideas and lose touch with our inner wisdom so we really need to release these ideas and return to the purity of spirit where we truly love ourselves we need to re-establish the wonderful innocence of life and the moment by moment Joy of existence the same joy that a baby feels in its Blissful State of Wonder think of what you want to become true for yourself State them in positive not negative affirmations now go to the Mirror look in your eyes and repeat your affirmations see what obstacles are in your way when you begin to State an affirmation like I love and approve of myself really pay attention to what negative messages come up because as you recognize them they become the treasures that will unlock the door to your freedom usually the messages are one of the four I mentioned earlier criticism fear guilt or resentment and most likely you learn these messages from people back there some of you have chosen some difficult tasks to handle in this lifetime and it is my belief that we really come here to love ourselves in spite of what they say or do we can always go beyond our parents or our friends limitations if you were a good little girl or boy you learned your parents limited way of looking at life you see you&amp;#39;re not bad you are good children you learned exactly what your parents taught you now that you were grown up you&amp;#39;re doing the same thing how many of you hear yourself saying what your parents used to say congratulations they were very good teachers and you were very good students but now it is time for you to begin to think for yourself a lot of us may face resistance when we look in the mirror and repeat our affirmations however resistance is the first step to change most of us want our lives to change but when we are told that we have to do something different we say who me oh I don&amp;#39;t want to do that others may experience feelings of despair often if you look in the mirror and say I love you the little child inside says where have you been all this time I&amp;#39;ve been waiting for you to notice me and waves of sadness come up because you&amp;#39;ve been rejecting the little child for a long long time when I did this exercise in one of my workshops a woman said she was very very scared I asked her what frightened her and she shared the fact that she was an incest Survivor many of us have had this experience called incest and we are learning to come through it it&amp;#39;s interesting that it occurs so often on our planet we read so much about incest these days yet I don&amp;#39;t think it is happening anymore now than it ever did we have advanced to a state where we now feel that children have rights and we are allowing ourselves to see this ugly sore in society in order to release the problem we have to first recognize it and then we can work through it therapy is so important for incest survivors we need a safe space where we can work through these feelings when we have let the anger and the rage and the shame out then we can move to the space where we can love ourselves no matter what we are working on we want to remember that the feelings that come up are just feelings we are not in the experience anymore we need to work on making the inner child feel safe we want to thank ourselves for having had the courage to survive this experience sometimes when we&amp;#39;re dealing with an issue such as incest it&amp;#39;s difficult to accept that the other person was doing the best he or she could at the time with the understanding and awareness and knowledge that they had acts of violence always come from people who were violated themselves we all need healing when we learn to love and cherish Who We Are we will no longer harm anyone stop all criticism when we are dealing with criticism we are usually criticizing ourselves all the time for the same things over and over when are we going to wake up and learn that criticism doesn&amp;#39;t work let&amp;#39;s try another tactic let&amp;#39;s approve of ourselves as we are right now critical people often attract a lot of criticism because it is their pattern to criticize what we give out we get back they may also need to be perfect at all times who&amp;#39;s perfect have you ever met a perfect person I haven&amp;#39;t If We complain about another person we are really complaining about some aspect of ourselves everyone is a reflection of us and what we see in another person we see in ourselves many times we don&amp;#39;t want to accept parts of Who We Are we abuse ourselves with alcohol or drugs or cigarettes or overeating or whatever these are ways of beating up on ourselves for not being perfect but being perfect for who SE early demands and expectations are we still trying to meet be willing to let that go just be you will find that you are wonderful just as you are this very moment if you have always been a critical person who sees life through very negative eyes it is going to take time for you to turn yourself around to be more loving and accepting you will learn to be patient with yourself as you practice letting go of the criticism which is only a habit not the reality of your being can you imagine how wonderful it would be if we could live our lives without ever being criticized by anyone we would feel totally at ease totally comfortable every morning would be a wonderful new day because everyone would love you and accept you and nobody would criticize you or put you down you can give this happiness to yourself by becoming more accepting of the things that make you unique and special the experience of living with yourself can be the most wonderful experience imaginable you can wake up in the morning and feel the joy of spending another day with you when you love who you are you automatically bring out the best in you I&amp;#39;m not saying that you will be a better person because that implies that you&amp;#39;re not good enough now however you will find more positive ways to fulfill your needs and to express more of who you really are guilt makes us feel inferior many times people give you negative messages because it is the easiest way to manipulate you if someone is trying to make you feel guilty ask yourself what do they want why are they doing this ask these questions instead of inwardly agreeing oh yes I&amp;#39;m guilty I must do what they say many parents manipulate their children with guilt because they were raised that way they tell lies to the children to make them feel less than some people are still manipulated by their relatives and friends when they grow up because first of all they don&amp;#39;t respect themselves otherwise they wouldn&amp;#39;t let it happen secondly they are manipulative themselves many of you live under a cloud of guilt you always feel wrong or that you are not doing the right thing or apologizing to someone for something you will not forgive yourself for something you did in the past you berate yourself for a lot that goes on in your life let these clouds dissipate you don&amp;#39;t need to live that way any longer those of you who feel guilty can now learn to say no and call people on their nonsense I&amp;#39;m not saying to be angry with them but you don&amp;#39;t have to play their game anymore if saying no is new to you say it very simply no no I cannot do that don&amp;#39;t give excuses or the manipulator will have ammunition to talk you out of your decision when people see that manipulating you doesn&amp;#39;t work they will stop people will only control you as long as you allow them to you may feel guilty the first time you say no however it gets easier the next few times a woman at one of my lectures had a baby who was born with a congenital heart disease she felt guilty because she&amp;#39;d believe that it was her fault she did something to the baby unfortunately guilt does not solve anything in her case no one did anything wrong I told her that I thought it could have been a sole choice for the baby and a lesson for both the mother and baby my answer for her was to love the baby and love herself and stop feeling that she did something wrong that sort of guilt would not heal anyone if you do something that you are sorry about stop doing it if you did something in the past that you still feel guilty about forgive yourself if you can make amends do it and don&amp;#39;t repeat the action again every time guilt comes up in your life ask yourself what do I still believe about myself who am I trying to please notice the childhood beliefs that come up when somebody comes to me who&amp;#39;s been involved in a car accident there is usually guilt on a deep seated level and a need for punishment there can also be a lot of repressed hostility because we feel we don&amp;#39;t have the right to speak up for ourselves guilt seeks punishment so we can literally become our own judge jury and executioner condemning ourselves to a self-imposed prison we punish ourselves and there is no one around to come to our defense it&amp;#39;s time to forgive ourselves and set ourselves free one elderly lady at one of my seminars felt enormous guilt about her middle-aged son he was an only child who grew up to be a very withdrawn person she felt guilty because she was very strict with him while he was growing up I explained that she had done the best she knew how to do at the time I believe he chose her as a mother before he incarnated into this lifetime so on a spiritual level he knew what he was doing I told her that she was wasting all her energy feeling guilty about something that she couldn&amp;#39;t change she sighed and said it&amp;#39;s such a shame that he&amp;#39;s this way and I&amp;#39;m sorry I did a bad job now you see that&amp;#39;s wasted energy because it doesn&amp;#39;t help her son now and it certainly doesn&amp;#39;t help her guilt becomes a very heavy burden and makes people feel inferior instead I told her that every time the feeling came up she could say something like no I don&amp;#39;t want to feel that way anymore I&amp;#39;m willing to learn to love myself I accept my son exactly as he is if she continued to do this the pattern would start to shift and she would free both of them even if we don&amp;#39;t know how to love ourselves the fact that we are willing to love ourselves will create the difference it&amp;#39;s just not worth it to hold on to these old patterns the lesson is always love yourself her lesson was not to heal her son but to love herself he came into this life to love himself she can&amp;#39;t do it for him and he can&amp;#39;t do it for her organized religions are often really good at making people feel guilty many of them do some heavy numbers to keep people in line especially when they are young however we aren&amp;#39;t little children anymore and we don&amp;#39;t have to be kept in line we are adults who can decide what we want to believe the child in US feels the guilt but there is also the adult in us who can teach the child otherwise when you hold your emotions down or hold things in you create Havoc within you love yourself enough to allow yourself to feel your emotions allow your feelings to come to the surface at first you may find yourself crying for days or getting angry a lot you may have to process quite a bit of old stuff I suggest you do affirmations that make going through the process easier smoother and more comfortable such as I now release with ease all old negative beliefs it is comfortable for me to change my pathway is now smooth I am free of the past also don&amp;#39;t add judgment to your feelings that only pushes the feelings down even more if you are going through incredible dilemmas or crises affirm that you are safe and that you are willing to feel affirming these positive feelings will bring about beneficial changes chapter 6 letting your feelings out a tragedy can turn out to be our greatest good if we approach it in ways from which we can grow releasing anger in positive ways everyone deals with anger at one time or another in their lives anger is an honest emotion when it is not expressed or processed outwardly it will be processed inwardly in the body and usually develops into a dis-ease or dysfunction of some sort like criticism we usually get angry about the same things over and over again when we are angry and we feel we don&amp;#39;t have a right to express it we swallow it down which causes resentment bitterness or depression so it&amp;#39;s good to handle our anger when it comes up there are several methods to deal with anger in positive ways one of the best is to talk openly to the person with whom you are angry and to release the pent-up emotions you can say I am angry with you because when we feel like screaming at someone then the anger has been building up for a long time often it is because we feel we cannot speak to the other person so the second best way to let the anger out is to talk to the person in the mirror find yourself a place where you will feel safe and will not be disturbed look into your own eyes in the mirror if you find that you cannot then concentrate on your mouth or nose see yourself and or the person who you believe has done something wrong to you remember the moment when you became angry and let yourself feel the anger come through you begin to tell this person exactly what you are so angry about show all the anger you feel you could say something like I am angry at you because or I am hurt because you did or I am so afraid because you just get all your feelings out if you feel like expressing yourself physically then get some pillows and start hitting them or twist a towel don&amp;#39;t be afraid to let your anger take its natural course you have already kept your feelings bottled up too long there is no need to feel any guilt or shame remember our feelings our thoughts in action they serve a purpose and when you let them loose from your mind and body you allow space inside for other more positive experiences when you have finished expressing your anger to the other person or persons do your best to forgive them forgiveness is an act of freedom for yourself because you are the one who will benefit from it if you can&amp;#39;t forgive someone then the exercise is just a negative affirmation and is not healing for you there is a difference between releasing and just rehashing old angers you may want to say something like okay that situation is over that is in the past now I don&amp;#39;t approve of Your Action and yet I understand that you were doing the best you could with the knowledge and understanding you had at the time I am done with this I release you and let you go you are free and I am free you may want to do this exercise several times before you truly feel that you have gotten rid of all your anger you may also want to work on one anger issue or several do what feels right for you there are other methods we can use to release the anger we can scream into a pillow we can kick pillows we can beat the bed or a punching bag we can write a hate letter and then burn it we can scream in our cars with the windows rolled up we can play tennis or go to the golf range and just hit balls one after another we can exercise swim or run around the block several times or just punch the air we can write or Draw our feelings using our non-dominant hand the creative process is a natural release for emotions one man at my seminar said he used an egg timer as he began screaming into a pillow he gave himself 10 minutes to let out all his frustrations and anger about his father after five minutes he was exhausted and every 30 seconds he would look at the egg timer and realize he still had a few more minutes to go I used to beat the bed and make a lot of noise I can&amp;#39;t do that now because my dogs get frightened and think I&amp;#39;m angry at them now I find it very effective to scream in the car or dig a hole in the garden or bat a ball around as you can see you can become quite creative when releasing your feelings I recommend that you do something physically to release charged up emotions in a safe way don&amp;#39;t be Reckless or dangerous to yourself or others remember also to communicate with your higher power go within and know that there is an answer to your anger and that you will find it it is very healing to meditate and visualize your rage flowing freely out of your body send love to the other person and see your love dissolve whatever disharmony there is between you be willing to become harmonious perhaps the anger you feel is reminding you that you aren&amp;#39;t communicating well with others by recognizing it you can correct it it&amp;#39;s amazing how many people tell me how much happier they have become once they release anger towards another person it&amp;#39;s as though a huge burden has been dropped one of my students had a difficult time letting her anger out intellectually she understood her feelings yet she couldn&amp;#39;t Express them outwardly once she allowed herself this expression she kicked and screamed and called her mother and her alcoholic daughter all sorts of names she felt a tremendous weight lift from her when her daughter visited her afterwards she couldn&amp;#39;t stop hugging her she had a loud room for love to come inside where all the repressed anger had been maybe you have been a person who&amp;#39;s being angry for a major part of your life you have what I call habitual anger something happens and you get angry something else happens and you get angry again once more it happens and you keep getting angry but you never go beyond getting angry habitual anger is childish you always want your own way it would be helpful to ask yourself why am I choosing to be angry all the time what am I doing to create situation after situation that angers me is this the only way I can react to life is this what I want who am I still punishing or loving why do I want to be in this state what am I believing that causes all these frustrations what am I giving out that attracts in others the need to irritate me in other words why do you believe that to get your way you need to get angry I&amp;#39;m not saying that there are no injustices and there aren&amp;#39;t times when you have a right to feel angry however habitual anger is not good for your body because it lodges in there notice what you focus on most of the time sit in front of a mirror and look at yourself and ask who are you what is it that you want what makes you happy what can I do to make you happy now is the time to do something else create a new space inside yourself for loving optimistic and cheerful patterns people often get angry while they&amp;#39;re driving their cars people often express their frustrations about the other lousy drivers on the road long ago I got over the fact that I was going to be upset because of someone else&amp;#39;s inability to follow the rules of the road so the way I handle driving my car is first I put love into the car when I get in next I know and affirm that I&amp;#39;m always surrounded by wonderful competent happy drivers everyone around me is a good driver because of my beliefs and affirmations whenever I&amp;#39;m on the road I have very few poor drivers around me they&amp;#39;re off bothering the person who&amp;#39;s shaking his fist and screaming you know your car is an extension of you just like everything and everyone are extensions of you so put some love into your car and then send love out to everyone around you on the streets and highways I believe that the parts of your car are similar to the parts of your body for instance one of my workers felt that she had no vision that she could not see where her life was going or where she wanted it to go one morning she woke up and found her windshield smashed another person an acquaintance of mine felt that he was stuck in his life he was not moving forward or moving backward but was not moving at all and his tire became flat and he couldn&amp;#39;t move anywhere I know it may sound silly at first but it&amp;#39;s fascinating to me that the terminology that these two people use to describe their current mental state also related to their car having no vision means that you can&amp;#39;t see in front of you the windshield is a perfect metaphor likewise being stuck is a perfect example of a flat tire the next time something happens to your car make a note as to what you feel the broken parts represents and see if you can connect it to how you are feeling at that particular moment or what is going on in your life you may be surprised at the results one day I will write a little book and call it heal your automobile there was a time when people did not understand the body mind connection now it is time for us to expand our thinking even more and to understand the Machinery mind connection every situation in your life is a learning experience and can be handled so that it works for you there is nothing new or unique about anger no one escapes the experience the key is in recognizing it for what it is and taking that energy in a healthier Direction if you get sick don&amp;#39;t get angry over it instead of putting anger into your body fill it with love and forgive yourself those of you who are caretakers for sick people can also remember to take care of yourselves too if you don&amp;#39;t you won&amp;#39;t be any good to yourself or your friends or family you will burn out do something to let your feelings out as well once you learn to deal with anger in a positive way that readily benefits you you will find many wonderful changes occurring in the quality of your life resentment causes a variety of ills resentment is anger that has been buried for a long time the main problem with resentment is that it lodges in the body usually in the same place and in time it seeds and eats away at the body and often turns into tumors and Cancers therefore repressing anger and letting it settle in our bodies is not conducive to good health again it&amp;#39;s time to let those feelings out many of us were raised in families where we weren&amp;#39;t allowed to be angry women in particular were taught that to be angry with something bad anger was not acceptable except for one person usually a parent so we learn to swallow our anger rather than express it again we can now realize that we are the ones who are holding on to it nobody else is involved at all an oyster takes a grain of sand and it builds layer after layer after layer of calcite over it until it becomes a beautiful pearl in the same way we take our emotional hurts and nurse them over and over again by what I call running the old movie over and over in our minds if we want to be free from our hurts if we want to get out of them then it&amp;#39;s time to go beyond them one of the reasons women create cysts and tumors in the uterus is through what I call the he done me wrong syndrome the genitals represent either the most masculine part of the body the masculine principle or the most feminine part of the body the feminine principle when people have emotional episodes usually in relationships they take it to one of those areas with women they may take it to their female organs their most feminine part and nurse the hurt until it becomes a cyst or tumor since resentment is buried deeply inside us we may have to do a lot of work to dissolve it I received a letter from a woman who was working on her third cancer tumor she still had not dissolved the resentment pattern and kept creating new tumors in her body I could tell she felt very self-righteous about her bitterness it was easier for her to let the doctor remove the latest tumor than to work on forgiveness it would have been good if she had been able to do both doctors are good at removing growths only we can keep them from reappearing sometimes we would rather die than change our patterns and we do I have noticed that many people would rather die than change their eating habits and they do this is very disturbing when it happens to someone we love and we are aware of alternative choices they could make no matter what choices we make they are always right for us and there is no blame even if we leave the planet we will all leave the planet in time and we will all find a way to do it at the right time for us again we don&amp;#39;t have to blame ourselves for failing or doing it wrong we don&amp;#39;t have to feel guilty there is no blame no one does it wrong a person does the best he or she knows how to do with the understanding and awareness that is available remember we all have the power within us and we all come here to learn certain lessons our higher selves know our destiny in this lifetime and what we must learn in order to move forward in our evolutionary process there is never any wrong way there just is we are all on an endless journey through eternity and we have lifetime after lifetime what we don&amp;#39;t work out in this life I believe we will work out in another suppressed feelings lead to depression depression is anger turned inward it is also anger that you feel you do not have a right to have for instance you may feel it&amp;#39;s not okay to be angry at your parent or spouse or employer or best friend and yet you are angry and you feel stuck that anger becomes depression far too many people today suffer from depression even chronic depression by the time we feel that depressed it&amp;#39;s very difficult to get out of it it feels so hopeless that it becomes an effort to do anything I don&amp;#39;t care how spiritual you are you have got to wash your dishes every now and then you can&amp;#39;t let the sink pile up with dirty dishes and say oh I&amp;#39;m metaphysical the same with your feelings if you want to have a mind that flows freely then clean up your inner mental dirty dishes one of the best ways is to give yourself permission to express some of your anger so that you won&amp;#39;t have to stay so depressed there are now therapists that specialize in Anger releasing having a session or two with one of them could be most helpful it&amp;#39;s my personal opinion that we all need to beat the bed once a week whether we feel angry or not there are some therapies that encourage you to get into your anger however I think that they often keep you immersed in the anger process too long anger like any emotion that surfaces lasts only a few minutes babies move in and out of their emotions very quickly it is our reaction to the emotion that causes us to hold and repress it author Elizabeth Kubler-Ross uses a wonderful exercise in her seminars which she calls externalization she has you take a piece of rubber hose and some old phone books and you beat them over and over again letting all sorts of emotions emerge when you&amp;#39;re releasing anger it&amp;#39;s okay to be embarrassed about it especially if it was against your family rules to get angry it will be embarrassing the first time you do it but when you get into it it can be such fun and very powerful God is not going to hate you for being angry once you have released some of this old anger you will be able to see your situation in a new light and find new Solutions another one of the suggestions I would make for a person who is depressed is to work with a good nutritionist and really get your diet cleaned up it&amp;#39;s amazing how that can help the mind people who are depressed often eat very poorly which adds to the problem we all want to make the best choices so that the food we are taking in is good for our body also many times we find there is a chemical imbalance in the body that is further aggravated by the intake of medication of some sort now rebirthing is another wonderful process for releasing your feelings because it goes beyond the intellect if you have never had a rebirthing session I recommend that you try one it has been very helpful for many people it&amp;#39;s a breathing modality that helps you connect with old issues so that you can release them in a positive way some rebirthers have you repeat your affirmations as you&amp;#39;re going through the process then there is Bodywork such as Rolfing a process of deep connective tissue manipulation developed by Ida Roth or Heller work or Traeger work they are all excellent ways to release restrictive patterns in the body different processes work differently for each person one process may be good for one yet not for another we can only find what is best for us by trying different Avenues self-help sections in bookstores are excellent places to read about different alternatives health food stores often have bulletin boards that list meetings and classes when the student is ready the teacher appears fear is not having trust fear is rampant on the planet you can see and hear about it in the news every day in the form of wars and murders and greed and more fear is a lack of trust in ourselves because of that we don&amp;#39;t trust life we don&amp;#39;t trust that we are being taken care of on a higher level so we feel we must control everything from the physical level obviously we&amp;#39;re going to feel fear because we can&amp;#39;t control everything in our lives trust is what we learn when we want to overcome our fears it&amp;#39;s called taking the leap of faith trust in the power within that is connected to Universal intelligence trust in that which is invisible instead of trusting only in the physical material world I&amp;#39;m not saying that we do nothing yet if we have trust we can go through life much easier if you recall what I said earlier I believe that everything I need to know is revealed to me I trust that I&amp;#39;m being taken care of even though I am not physically in control of everything that&amp;#39;s happening around me when a fearful thought comes up it is really trying to protect you I suggest you say to the fear I know you want to protect me I appreciate that you want to help me and I thank you acknowledge the fearful thought it&amp;#39;s there to take care of you when you become physically frightened your adrenaline pumps through your body to protect you from danger it&amp;#39;s the same with the fear you manufacture in your mind observe your fears and recognize that you are not them think of fear the way you view images on a movie screen what you see on the screen is really not there the moving pictures are just frames of Celluloid and they change and disappear very rapidly our fears will come and go as rapidly as those pictures unless we insist on holding on to them fear is a limitation of our minds people have so much fear about getting sick or old or about becoming homeless or whatever anger is fear that becomes a defense mechanism it protects you and yet it would be so much more powerful for you to do affirmations so you can stop recreating fearful situations in your mind and love yourself through the fear again nothing comes from outside of us we are at the center of everything that happens in our lives everything is inside every experience every relationship is a mirror of a mental pattern that we have inside us fear is the opposite of love the more we are willing to love and Trust who we are the more we attract these qualities to ourselves when we are on a streak of really being frightened or upset or worried or not liking ourselves isn&amp;#39;t it amazing how everything goes wrong in our lives one thing after another it seems it will never stop well it is the same when we really love ourselves everything starts to go on a winning streak and we get the green lights in the parking places all of the things that make life so wonderful the big and the little we get up in the morning and the day flows beautifully love yourself so that you can take care of yourself do everything you can to strengthen your heart your body and your mind turn to the power within you find a good spiritual connection and really work on maintaining it if you are feeling threatened or fearful consciously breathe we often hold our breath when we are frightened so take a few deep breaths breathing opens the space inside you that is your power it straightens your spine it opens your chest and gives your heart room to expand by breathing you begin to drop the barriers and open up you expand rather than contract Your Love flows you could say I am one with the power that created me I am safe and all is well in my world cleaning up our addictions one of the primary ways we mask our fear is through addictions addictions suppress the emotions so that we don&amp;#39;t feel however there are many kinds of addictions besides the chemical ones there are also what I call pattern addictions patterns we adopt to keep ourselves from being present in our lives if we don&amp;#39;t want to deal with what&amp;#39;s in front of us or if we don&amp;#39;t want to be where we are we have a pattern that keeps us out of touch with our lives for some people it&amp;#39;s a food addiction or a chemical addiction there may be a genetic disposition for alcoholism however the choice to stay sick is always an individual one so often when we talk about something being hereditary it is really the little child&amp;#39;s acceptance of the parents ways of handling fear for others there are emotional addictions you can be addicted to finding fault in people no matter what happens you will always find someone to blame it&amp;#39;s their fault they did it to me maybe you are addicted to running up bills there are many of you addicted to being in debt you do everything you can to keep yourself head over heels and debt it doesn&amp;#39;t seem to have anything to do with the amount of money you have you can be addicted to rejection everywhere you go you attract others who reject you you will find them however the rejection on the outside is a reflection of your own inner rejection if you don&amp;#39;t reject yourself nobody else will either or if they do it certainly won&amp;#39;t matter to you ask yourself what am I not accepting about myself there are plenty of people addicted to illness they are always catching something or worrying about getting sick they seem to belong to the illness of the month club or illness of the week if you&amp;#39;re going to be addicted to anything why not be addicted to loving yourself you can be addicted to doing positive affirmations or doing something that is supportive of you compulsive overeating I receive a lot of letters from people with weight problems they go on diets that last two or three days or weeks and then they stop they feel guilty about falling off their diets and instead of recognizing that they did what they could at the time they get angry at themselves and feel guilty then to punish themselves because guilt always seeks punishment they go out and eat foods that are not good for their bodies if they could acknowledge that for the two weeks that they followed a particular regime they were doing something wonderful for their bodies and stop laying guilt trips on themselves they would begin to break the pattern they could also begin to say I used to have a problem with weight now I allow myself to be the perfect weight for me and the pattern would start to shift inside yet we don&amp;#39;t want to concentrate on the food issue too much for that is not where the problem lies overeating has always meant a need for protection when you feel insecure or frightened you pad yourself with a layer of safety weight has nothing to do with food most of you spend a lifetime being angry at yourself for being fat what a waste of energy instead realize there is something going on in your life that is making you feel unsafe and insecure it could be your work your spouse your sexuality or your life in general or early belief patterns if you are overweight put the food weight issue aside and work on the pattern that says I need protection because I&amp;#39;m insecure it&amp;#39;s amazing how our cells respond to our mental patterns when the need for protection is gone or when we start feeling secure the fat will melt off I have noticed in my own life that when I&amp;#39;m not feeling safe I will gain some weight when my life is going so fast and I&amp;#39;m doing so much and I&amp;#39;m spreading myself all over the place I feel a need for protection a need for security so I say okay Louise it&amp;#39;s time to work on safety I want you to really know that you are safe and it&amp;#39;s okay and you can do all this stuff and you can be at all these places and you can have all that&amp;#39;s happening right now and you are safe and I love you when I feel secure again the weight melts away wage is only the outer effect of a fear that is inside you when you look in the mirror and see the fat person staring back remember that you are looking at the result of your old thinking when you start to change your thinking you are planting a seed for what will become true for you what you choose to think today will create your new figure tomorrow one of the best books on releasing excess weight is the only diet there is by Sandra Ray it&amp;#39;s all about dieting from negative thinking and she shows you step by step how to do it self-help groups self-help groups have become the new social form I see this as a very positive move these programs do tremendous good people with similar problems getting together not to whine and complain but to find ways to work through these issues and improve the quality of their lives there is now a group for almost every problem you can think of many of them are listed in the phone book under Community Services in the front of your Yellow Pages I know you can find one that is right for you many churches now hold group meetings you could even go to the local health food store one of my favorites and see what is listed on their bulletin board if you are serious about changing your life you will find the way the 12-step programs are everywhere 12-step programs have been around for some time and they have developed a format that really works and brings about wonderful results their Al-Anon program for people who live with or were raised by addicted people is one of the best groups for all sorts of people feelings are our inner gauge when growing up in a troubled or dysfunctional family we learn to avoid conflict whenever possible and this results in the denial of our feelings we often do not trust others to meet our needs so we don&amp;#39;t even ask for help we are convinced that we must be strong enough to handle things ourselves the only problem is that we fail to be in touch with our own feelings feelings are our most helpful link to our relationship with ourselves others and the world around us and they are an indication of what&amp;#39;s working or not working in our lives shutting them off only leads to more complex problems and physical illnesses what you can feel you can heal if you don&amp;#39;t allow yourself to feel what is going on inside of you you won&amp;#39;t know where to begin the healing process on the other hand many of us seem to go through life always feeling guilty or jealous or fearful or sad we develop habit patterns that keep repeating the same experiences that we say we don&amp;#39;t want to have if you keep feeling angry or sad or fearful or jealous and don&amp;#39;t get in touch with the underlying cause you will continue to create more anger sad fear Etc when we stop feeling like victims we are able to take our power back we must be willing to learn the lesson so the problem can disappear when we trust the process of life and our spiritual connection with the universe we can dissolve our angers and fears as soon as they appear we can trust in life and know that everything is happening in Divine Right order and in the perfect time space sequence chapter 7 moving beyond the pain we are far more than our bodies and personalities the inner spirit is always beautiful and lovable no matter how our outer appearances may change the pain of death it&amp;#39;s wonderful to be positive it&amp;#39;s also wonderful to acknowledge what you are feeling Nature has given you feelings to get you through certain experiences and to deny them causes more pain remember death is not a failure everyone dies it&amp;#39;s part of the process of life when someone you love dies the morning process takes at least a year so give yourself that space it&amp;#39;s difficult to have to go through all the holidays and Seasons Valentine&amp;#39;s Day your birthday your anniversary Christmas Etc so be very gentle with yourself and let yourself grieve there are no rules so don&amp;#39;t make any for yourself it&amp;#39;s also okay to get angry and have hysterics when someone dies you can&amp;#39;t pretend it doesn&amp;#39;t hurt you want to give your feelings an outlet let yourself cry look in the mirror and scream it isn&amp;#39;t fair or whatever you feel inside again let it out otherwise you will create problems for your body you want to take care of yourself the best you can and I know it&amp;#39;s not always easy those of us who have been working with people with AIDS find that the grieving process becomes ongoing it&amp;#39;s the same as the grieving process in Wartime there are too many onslaughts to the emotional nervous system to handle many times I reach out to special friends and dissolve into hysterics when it all becomes too much it was much easier when my mother died I felt the natural completion of her 91 year cycle though I grieved I had no anger or rage at Injustice or untimeliness Wars and epidemics bring up tremendous frustration at the seeming unfairness of it all although grieving takes time sometimes you feel like you&amp;#39;re in a bottomless pit if you are still grieving after a few years then you are wallowing in it it becomes an addiction you need to forgive and release the other person and yourself remember we don&amp;#39;t lose anyone when they die because we never owned them in the first place if you are having a difficult time letting go there are several things you can do first of all I suggest you do some meditations with the person who is gone no matter what he or she thought or did while they were alive when they leave the planet a veil lifts and they see life very clearly so they no longer have the fears and the limiting beliefs that they had when they were here if you&amp;#39;re grieving a lot they would probably tell you not to worry because all is well in your meditations ask the person for help to get you through this period And tell them that you love them don&amp;#39;t judge yourself for not being with the person or doing enough for the person while they were alive that&amp;#39;s just adding guilt to your grief some of you use this time as an excuse for not getting on with your own life some of you would like to leave the planet too or for some of you the death of someone you know and love brings up your own fear of death use this time to do inner work on yourself so you can release some of your own stuff a lot of sadness comes to the surface upon the death of a loved one let yourself feel the sadness you need to get to a point where you feel safe enough to let the old Pains come up if you would allow yourself two or three days of crying much of the sadness and guilt would disappear if you need to find a therapist or a group to help you feel safe enough so that you can release the emotions another suggestion is to say affirmations like I love you and I set you free you are free and I am free one woman was having a very difficult time letting go of the anger she felt towards an aunt who was very ill she was terrified that her Aunt would pass away and she would not be able to communicate how she really felt about the past she didn&amp;#39;t want to speak with the aunt because she felt all choked up inside I suggested to her that she worked with the therapist for one-on-one work can be so helpful when we are stuck in any area it is an act of love for ourselves to reach out for help there are many types of therapists all over who are experienced in these situations you don&amp;#39;t need to go for a long time just a short while so that you can get through your difficult period there are also many grief support groups it might be helpful for you to join one because it would assist you as you go through the process understanding our pain many of us live from day to day with unrelieved pain it may be a small part of our lives or it may take up a large unbearable portion of it but what is pain most of us agree that it is something we would like to be free of let&amp;#39;s look at what we can learn from it where does it come from what is it trying to tell us the dictionary defines pain as an unpleasant or distressing sensation due to bodily injury or disorder as well as a mental or emotional suffering or torment since pain is an outgrowth of both mental and physical dis-ease it is clear that both the mind and the body are susceptible to it I recently saw a wonderful example as I watched two little girls playing in a park the first child raised her hand to playfully slap her friend on the arm before she was able to connect the other little girl said ow the first little girl looked at her and said why did you say oh I haven&amp;#39;t even touched you yet to which her friend quickly replied well I knew it was going to hurt in this instant the mental pain presumed the expected physical pain pain comes to us in many forms a scratch a bump a bruise dis-ease uneasy sleep a threat a naughty feeling in your stomach a numbing sensation in your arm or leg sometimes it hurts a lot sometimes only a little but we know it&amp;#39;s there in most cases it&amp;#39;s trying to tell us something at times the message is obvious sour stomach experience during the work week but not on the weekend May indicate a need for an attitude change or for a job change and many of us know the significance of the pain that occurs after a night of excessive drinking whatever the message we must remember that the human body is a wonderfully constructed piece of Machinery it tells us if there are problems but only if we are willing to listen unfortunately many of us do not take or make the time to listen pain is actually one of the body&amp;#39;s Last Resort messages to tell us that something is wrong in our lives we are really off track somewhere the body is always aspiring for Optimum Health no matter what we do to it however if we abuse our bodies tremendously we contribute to the conditions of our dis-ease when we first feel pain what do we do we usually run to the medicine cabinet or to the drugstore and we take a pill in effect we say to the body shut up I don&amp;#39;t want to hear you the body will quiet down for a little bit then the whisperings return and this time a little louder maybe we go to the doctor for an injection or a prescription or we do something else but at some point we have to pay attention to what is going on because we may have a full-blown dis-ease of some sort even at that point some people still want to play victim and still don&amp;#39;t listen others awaken to what&amp;#39;s going on and are willing to make changes it&amp;#39;s okay we all learn in different ways the answers may be as simple as getting a good night&amp;#39;s sleep or not going out seven nights a week or not pushing yourself at work allow yourself to listen to your body because it does want to get well your body wants to be healthy and you can cooperate with it when I first feel pain or discomfort I quiet myself I trust that my higher power will let me know what needs to be changed in my life so that I can be free from this dis ease In These Quiet times I visualize the most perfect natural setting with my favorite flowers growing in abundance all around me I can feel and smell the sweet warm air as it blows gently across my face and I concentrate on relaxing every muscle in my body when I feel that I have reached a state of complete relaxation I simply ask my inner wisdom how am I contributing to this problem what is it that I need to know what areas of my life are in need of change then I breathe and let the answers pour over me the answers may not come at that moment but I know that they will be revealed to me soon I know that whatever changes are needed are the right ones for me and that I will be completely safe No Matter What unfolds before me sometimes you wonder how you can accomplish such changes how will I live what about the children how will I pay my bills again trust your higher power to show you the means to live a plentiful pain-free life I also suggest that you make changes one step at a time loud say said the Journey of a Thousand Miles begins with one step one small step added to another can create significant major advancements once you go about making your changes please remember that the pain does not necessarily disappear overnight and yet it may it has taken time for pain to surface therefore it may take some time to recognize that it is no longer needed be gentle with yourself don&amp;#39;t gauge your progress by someone else&amp;#39;s you are unique and have your own way of handling your life put your trust in your higher self in order to Free Yourself of all physical and emotional pain forgiveness is the key to Freedom I often ask clients would you rather be right or would you rather be happy we all have opinions on who was right and who was wrong according to our own perceptions and we can all find ways to justify our feelings we want to punish others for what they did to us however we are the ones running the story over and over in our own minds it is foolish for us to punish ourselves in the present because someone heard us in the past to release the past we want to be willing to forgive even if we don&amp;#39;t know how forgiveness means giving up our hurtful feelings and just letting the whole thing go a state of non-forgiveness actually destroys something within ourselves no matter what Avenue of spirituality you follow you will usually find that forgiveness is an enormous issue at any time but most particularly when there is an illness when we are ill we really need to look around and see who it is we need to forgive and usually the very person who we think we will never forgive is the one we need to forgive the most not forgiving someone else doesn&amp;#39;t harm the other person in the slightest but it plays havoc with us the issues aren&amp;#39;t theirs the issues are ours The Grudges and hurts you feel have to do with forgiving yourself not someone else affirm that you are totally willing to forgive everyone I am willing to free myself from the past I am willing to forgive all those who may ever have harmed me and I forgive myself for having harmed others if you think of anyone who may have harmed you in any way at any point in your life bless that person with love and release them and then dismiss the thought I wouldn&amp;#39;t be where I am today if I hadn&amp;#39;t forgiven the people who have hurt me I would not want to punish myself today for what they did to me in the past I&amp;#39;m not saying that it would be easy it&amp;#39;s just that now I can look back at that stuff and say oh yes that&amp;#39;s something that happened however I don&amp;#39;t live there anymore and it is not the same as condoning their behavior if you feel ripped off by another know that nobody can take anything from you that is rightfully yours if it belongs to you it will return to you at the right time if something doesn&amp;#39;t come back to you it wasn&amp;#39;t meant to you need to accept that and go on with your life to become free you need to get out of your self-righteous resentment and off your pity pot I love this expression which originated with Alcoholics Anonymous because it is such a wonderful accurate description when you are sitting on your pity pot you are this helpless person who has no power at all in order to have power you want to stand on your own two feet and take responsibility take a moment and close your eyes if you can and imagine a beautiful stream of water in front of you take the old painful experience the hurt and the unforgiveness and put the whole incident in the Stream see it begin to dissolve and drift Downstream until it totally dissipates and disappears you can do this as often as you want this is a time for compassion and healing go within and connect with that part of yourself that knows how to heal you are incredibly capable be willing to go to new levels to find capabilities of which you were not aware not just to cure dis-ease but to truly heal yourself on all possible levels to make yourself whole in the deepest sense of the word to accept every part of yourself and every experience you have ever had and to know that it is all part of the tapestry of your life this time around I love Emmanuel&amp;#39;s book there is a passage in it which has a good message the question to Emmanuel is how do we experience painful circumstances without becoming embittered by them and Emmanuel&amp;#39;s reply is by seeing them as lessons and not as retribution trust life my friends however far afield life seems to take you this trip is necessary you have come to Traverse a wide terrain of experience in order to verify where truth lies and where your Distortion is in that Terrain you will then be able to return to your home center your sole self refreshed and wiser if only we could understand that all of our so-called problems are just opportunities for us to grow and to change and that most of them come from the vibrations that we have been giving off all we really need to do is change the way we think be willing to dissolve the resentment and be willing to forgive part three loving yourself can you remember the last time you were in love your heart went ah it was such a wonderful feeling it&amp;#39;s the same thing with loving yourself accept that you will never leave once you have your love for yourself it&amp;#39;s with you for the rest of your life so you want to make it the best relationship you can have chapter 8 How To Love Yourself when you forgive and let go not only does a huge weight drop off your shoulders but the doorway to your own self-love opens for many of you who have been working on loving yourselves and for those of you who are just beginning I&amp;#39;m going to explore some ways to help you learn how to love yourselves I call it my 10 steps and I have sent thousands of people this list over the years loving yourself is a wonderful Adventure it&amp;#39;s like learning to fly imagine if we all had the power to fly at will how exciting it would be let&amp;#39;s begin to love ourselves right now many of us seem to suffer from a lack of self-esteem at one level or another it&amp;#39;s very difficult for us to love ourselves because we have all these so-called faults inside us that we feel make it impossible to love ourselves exactly as we are usually we make loving ourselves conditional and then when we are involved in relationships we make loving the other person conditional also we&amp;#39;ve all heard that we really can&amp;#39;t love someone else until we love ourselves so now that we have seen the barriers we have set up for ourselves how do we catapult to the next step one probably the most important key is to stop criticizing yourself I&amp;#39;ve talked about criticism before if we tell ourselves that we are okay no matter what is going on we can make changes in our lives easily it is when we make ourselves bad that we have great difficulty we all change everyone every day is a new day and we do things a little differently than we did the day before our ability to adapt and flow with the process of life is part of our power those who have come from dysfunctional homes often become super responsible and have gotten in the habit of judging themselves unmercifully they have grown up with tension and anxiety the message they get as children of dysfunctional homes is there must be something wrong with me think for a moment about the words you use when scolding yourself some of the phrases people tell me are stupid bad boy bad girl useless careless dumb ugly worthless sloppy dirty Etc are these the same words you use now when you&amp;#39;re describing yourself there is a tremendous need to build self-worth and value in ourselves because when we feel not good enough we find ways to keep ourselves miserable we create illness or pain in our bodies we procrastinate about things that would benefit us we mistreat our bodies with food alcohol and drugs we are all insecure in some ways because we are human let us learn not to pretend that we are perfect having to be perfect only puts immense pressure on ourselves and it prevents us from looking at areas of Our Lives that need healing instead we could discover our creative distinctions our individualities and appreciate ourselves for the qualities that set us apart from others each one of us has a unique role to play on this Earth and when we are critical of ourselves we obscure it two we want to stop scaring ourselves many of us terrorize ourselves with frightful thoughts and make situations worse than they are we take a small problem and make it into a big monster it&amp;#39;s a terrible way to live always expecting the worst out of life how many of you go to bed at night creating the worst possible scenario of a problem that&amp;#39;s like a little child who imagines monsters under the bed and then gets terrified it&amp;#39;s no wonder you can&amp;#39;t sleep as a child you needed your parent to come and soothe you now as an adult you know you have the ability to soothe yourself people who are ill do this a lot often they visualize the worst or they are immediately planning their funerals they may give their power to the media and see themselves as statistics you may also do this in relationships someone doesn&amp;#39;t call you and immediately you decide that you are totally unlovable and that you&amp;#39;ll never have another relationship again you feel abandoned and rejected you do the same thing with your job someone makes a remark at work and you begin to think you&amp;#39;re going to be fired you build these paralyzing thoughts in your mind remember these frightening thoughts are negative affirmations if you find yourself habitually reviewing a negative thought or situation in your mind find an image of something you really would like to replace it with it could be a beautiful view or a Sunset Flowers a sport or anything you love use that image as your switch to image every time you find that you are scaring yourself you could say to yourself no I&amp;#39;m not going to think about that anymore I&amp;#39;m going to think about sunsets or roses or Paris or Yachts or waterfalls or whatever your image is if you keep doing this you will eventually break the Habit again it takes practice three another way is to be gentle and kind and patient with yourself I&amp;#39;ve heard dear God I pray for patience and I want it right now but patience is a very powerful tool most of us suffer from the expectation of immediate gratification we must have it now we don&amp;#39;t have the patience to wait for anything we get irritable if we have to wait in lines or are stuck in traffic we want all the answers and all the goodies right now too often we make other people&amp;#39;s lives miserable by our own impatience but impatience is a resistance to learning impatience is resistance to learning we want the answers without learning the lesson or doing the steps that are necessary for our growth you could think of your mind as if it were a garden to begin with a garden is a patch of dirt you may have a lot of brambles of self-hatred and rocks of Despair anger and worry an old tree called fear needs pruning once you get some of these things out of the way and the soil is in good shape you add some little seeds or plants of joy and prosperity The Sun Shines down on it and you water it and give it nutrients and loving attention at first not much seems to be happening but you don&amp;#39;t stop you keep taking care of your garden if you are patient the garden will grow and Blossom the same with your mind you select the thoughts that will be nurtured and with patience they grow and contribute to creating the garden of experiences you want we all make mistakes it&amp;#39;s okay to make mistakes while you are learning as I said so many of you are cursed with perfectionism you won&amp;#39;t give yourself a chance to really learn anything new because if you don&amp;#39;t do it perfectly in the first three minutes you assume you are not good enough anything you&amp;#39;re going to learn takes time when you first began doing something it usually doesn&amp;#39;t feel right to show you what I mean take a moment right now and clasp your hands together there&amp;#39;s no right or wrong way to do this clasp your hands and notice which thumb is on top now open your hands and then clasp your hands again with the other thumb on top it probably feels strange odd maybe even wrong class them again the first way then the second and the first again and the second way and hold it how does it feel now not so odd not so bad you&amp;#39;re getting used to it maybe you can even learn to do it both ways it&amp;#39;s the same thing when we are doing something a new way it may feel different and we immediately judge it yet with a little bit of practice it can become normal and natural we&amp;#39;re not going to love ourselves totally in one day but we can love ourselves a little bit more every day each day we give ourselves a little bit more love and in two or three months we will have come so much further in loving ourselves so mistakes are your Stepping Stones they are valuable because they&amp;#39;re your teachers don&amp;#39;t punish yourself for making a mistake if you are willing to learn and grow from the mistake then it serves as a step towards fulfillment in your life some of us have been working on ourselves for a very long time and wonder why we still have issues that come up for us we need to keep reinforcing what we know not resisting by throwing up our hands in the air and saying what&amp;#39;s the use as we learn new ways we need to be gentle and kind to ourselves remember the garden when the negative weeds grow pluck them out as quickly as you can number four we must learn to be kind to our minds let&amp;#39;s not hate ourselves for having negative thoughts we can think of our thoughts as building us up rather than beating us up we don&amp;#39;t have to blame ourselves for negative experiences we can learn from these experiences being kind to ourselves means we stop all blame all guilt all punishment and all pain relaxation can help us as well relaxation is absolutely essential for tapping into The Power Within because if you are tense and frightened you shut off your energy it only takes a few minutes a day to allow the body and the mind to let go and relax at any moment you can take a few deep breaths close your eyes and release whatever tension you&amp;#39;re carrying as you exhale become centered and say to yourself silently I love you all is well you will notice how much calmer you feel you are building messages that say you don&amp;#39;t have to go through life tense and frightened all the time meditate on a daily basis I also recommend quieting your mind and listening to your own inner wisdom our society has made meditation into something mysterious and difficult to achieve and yet meditation is one of the oldest and simplest processes there is all we need to do is get into a relaxed state and repeat silently to ourselves words like love or peace or anything meaningful to us own is an ancient sound that I often use at my workshops and it seems to work very well we could even repeat I love myself or I forgive myself or I am forgiven and then just listen for a while some people think that if they meditate they have to stop their minds from thinking we really can&amp;#39;t stop the mind but we can slow down our thoughts and then just let them flow through some people sit with a pad and pencil and write down their negative thoughts because they seem to dissipate more easily if we can get to a state where we are watching our thoughts Float by oh there&amp;#39;s a fear thought and some anger now there&amp;#39;s a love thought and now a disaster there&amp;#39;s an abandonment thought a joy thought and don&amp;#39;t give these thoughts importance then we begin to use our tremendous power wisely you can begin meditation anywhere and allow it to become a habit think of meditation as focusing on your higher power you become connected with yourself and your inner wisdom you can do it in whatever form you like some people go into a kind of meditation while they&amp;#39;re jogging or walking again don&amp;#39;t make yourself wrong for doing it differently I love to get on my knees in the garden and dig in the dirt it&amp;#39;s a great meditation for me an excellent easy to understand book on meditation is minding the body mending the Mind by Joan borsenko visualize optimistic outcomes visualization is also very important and there are many techniques you can use Dr Carl Simington in his book getting well again recommends a lot of visualization techniques for people with cancer and they often yield excellent results with visualization you create a clear positive image that enhances your affirmation many of you have written to me about the kinds of visualizations you do along with your affirmations the important thing to remember about visualizations is that they must be compatible with the kind of person you are otherwise your visualizations will not work for instance a woman with cancer pictured the good killer cells in her body attacking the cancer and killing it at the end of the visualization she doubted whether she had done it correctly and didn&amp;#39;t feel that it was working for her so I asked her are you a killer person and she answered I personally don&amp;#39;t feel good about creating a war in my body so I suggested that she changed her visualization to one that was a little more gentle I think it&amp;#39;s better to use images like the sun melting the sick cells or a magician transforming them with his magic wand when I had my cancer I used the visualization of cool Clear Water washing the diseased cells out of my body we need to do visualizations that are not so offensive to us on the subconscious level those of us who have family or friends who are sick do them in Injustice by continually seeing them sick visualize them well send them Good Vibrations however remember that getting well is really up to them there are many good audio tapes with guided visualizations and meditations that you can give them to help them through this process if they are open if not just send them love everyone can visualize describing your home having a sexual fantasy imagining what you would do to a person who hurt you are all visualizations it&amp;#39;s amazing what the mind can do number five the next step is to praise yourself criticism breaks down the inner spirit and praise builds it up acknowledge your power your God&amp;#39;s self we are all expressions of the infinite intelligence when you berate yourself you belittle the power that created you begin with the little things tell yourself that you are wonderful if you do it once and then stop it doesn&amp;#39;t work keep at it even if it&amp;#39;s one minute at a time and believe me it does get easier the next time you do something new or different or something you are just learning and you&amp;#39;re not to Adept at be there for yourself it was a Big Thrill the first time I spoke at the church of religious science in New York I remember it very well it was a Friday noon meeting people wrote questions and put them in a basket for me the speaker I brought the basket to the podium and answered the questions and did a small treatment after each one after I finished I walked away from the podium and said to myself Louise you were fantastic considering this was the first time out by the time you do this six times you&amp;#39;re gonna be a pro I didn&amp;#39;t berate myself and say oh you forgot to say this or that I didn&amp;#39;t want to have the second time be something that would frighten me if I beat myself up the first time I would beat myself up the second time and I would dread speaking in the end and after a couple of hours I thought of what I could change to improve I never made myself wrong I was very careful to praise myself and congratulate myself for being wonderful and by the time I had conducted six meetings I was a pro I think we can apply this method in all areas of Our Lives I continued speaking at the meetings for quite some time it was wonderful training because it taught me how to think on my feet allow yourself to accept good whether you think you deserve it or not I&amp;#39;ve discussed how believing that we are not deserving is our unwillingness to accept good in our lives it&amp;#39;s what stops us from having what we want how could we create anything good for ourselves if we think we don&amp;#39;t deserve to have good think about the laws of deserving in your home did you feel good enough smart enough tall enough pretty enough whatever and what do you have to live for you know you are here for a reason and it&amp;#39;s not just to buy a new car every few years what are you willing to do to fulfill yourself are you willing to do affirmations visualizations treatments are you willing to forgive are you willing to meditate how much mental effort are you willing to exert to change your life and make it the life you want number six loving yourself means supporting yourself reach out to friends and allow them to help you you really are being strong when you ask for help when you need it so many of you have learned to be so self-reliant and self-sufficient you can&amp;#39;t ask for help because your ego won&amp;#39;t let you instead of trying to do it all yourself and then getting angry at yourself because you can&amp;#39;t make it try asking for help next time there are support groups in every city there are 12-step programs for almost every problem and in some areas there are healing circles and church-affiliated organizations if you can&amp;#39;t find what you want you can start your own group it&amp;#39;s not as scary as you might think gather together two or three friends who have the same issues that you have and set up a few guidelines to follow have a book to study or tapes to listen to if you do it with love in your heart your little group will grow people will be attracted like a magnet don&amp;#39;t worry if it starts to grow and your meeting space gets too small the universe always provides if you don&amp;#39;t know what to do write my office and we&amp;#39;ll send you guidelines on how to conduct a little group you really can be there for each other I started the hayride in Los Angeles in 1985 with six men with AIDS in my living room we didn&amp;#39;t know what we were going to do about this intense crisis I told them we weren&amp;#39;t going to sit around playing ain&amp;#39;t it awful because we already knew that we did what we could on a positive level to support each other we&amp;#39;re still meeting today and we have about 200 people coming every Wednesday night to West Hollywood Park it&amp;#39;s an extraordinary group for people with AIDS and everybody is welcome people come from all over the world to see how this group functions and because they feel supported it&amp;#39;s not only me it&amp;#39;s the group everyone contributes to making it effective we meditate and do visualizations we Network and share information about alternative therapies and the latest medical methods there are energy tables at one end of the room where people can lie down and others share healing energies by laying on hands or praying for them we have signs of Mind practitioners they can talk to at the end we sing and hug one another we want people to go out feeling better than when they came in and sometimes people receive a positive lift that lasts for several days support groups have become the new social form and they are very effectual Tools in this complex day and age many new thought churches such as unity and religious science have ongoing weekly support groups many groups are listed in New Age magazines and newspapers networking is so important it Sparks you and gets you going I suggest that people who have similar ideas share time with one another on a regular basis when people work together on a common goal they bring their pain confusion anger or whatever and come together not to moan but to find a way to go beyond to rise above and to grow up in a way if you are very dedicated very self-disciplined and very spiritual you can do a lot of work by yourself on yourself when you are with a group of people doing the same thing you can make Quantum leaps because you learn from one another every single person in the group is a teacher so if you have issues that need working on I would suggest if possible that you get into a group of some sort where you can work them through number seven love your negatives they are all part of your creation just as we are all part of God&amp;#39;s creation the intelligence that created us doesn&amp;#39;t hate us because we make mistakes or get angry at our children this intelligence knows that we are doing the best we can and loves all of its creation as we can love ours you and I have all made negative choices and if we keep punishing ourselves for them it becomes a habit pattern and we&amp;#39;ll find it very tiresome to let them go and to move on to more positive choices if you keep repeating I hate my job I hate my house I hate my illness I hate this relationship I hate this I hate that very little new good can come into your life no matter what negative situation you are in it&amp;#39;s there for a reason otherwise you wouldn&amp;#39;t have it in your life Dr John Harrison the author of love your disease says that patients are never to be condemned for having multiple operations or illnesses actually patients can congratulate themselves for finding a safe way to have their needs met we want to understand that whatever issue or problem we have we contributed to creating it in order to handle certain situations once we realize this then we can find a positive way to fulfill our needs sometimes people with cancer or other so-called terminal illnesses have such a hard time saying no to an authoritative figure in their life that on an unconscious level they will create a major dis-ease to say no for them I knew a woman who when she realized the illness she was creating for herself was just to be able to refuse her father&amp;#39;s demands decided to begin to live for herself for once she began to say no to him and while it was difficult for her at first as she continued to stand up for herself she was delighted to find herself getting well whatever our negative patterns are we can learn to fulfill those needs in more positive ways that&amp;#39;s why it&amp;#39;s so important to ask yourself the question what is the payoff from this experience what am I getting that&amp;#39;s positive we don&amp;#39;t like to answer that question however if we really look within and are honest with ourselves we will find that answer perhaps your answer would be it&amp;#39;s the only time I get loving attention from my spouse once realized you can begin to look for more positive ways to achieve this humor is another potent tool it helps us release and lighten up during stressful experiences at the hayride we set time aside for jokes sometimes we have a guest speaker called The Laugh lady she has a contagious laugh and puts everyone on a laughter cycle we can&amp;#39;t always take ourselves too seriously and laughter is very healing I also recommend watching old comedies such as those of Laurel and Hardy when you&amp;#39;re feeling low or down when I did private counseling I would do my best to get people to begin to laugh at their problems when we can see our lives as a stage play with soap opera and drama and comedy we get a better perspective and we are on the way to Healing humor enables us to pull back from the experience and to see it in a larger perspective number eight take care of your body think of your body as this marvelous house in which you live for a while you would love your house and take care of it wouldn&amp;#39;t you so watch what you put into your body drug and alcohol abuse is so prevalent because they are two of the most popular methods of Escape if you are into drugs it doesn&amp;#39;t mean that you are a bad person it means you haven&amp;#39;t found a more positive way of fulfilling your needs drugs beckoned to us come and play with me and we&amp;#39;ll have a good time and it&amp;#39;s true they can make you feel wonderful however they alter your reality so much and although it isn&amp;#39;t evident at first you have to pay a terrible price in the end after taking drugs for a while your health deteriorates immensely and you feel awful most of the time drugs affect your immune system which can lead to numerous physical ailments also after repeated use you develop an addiction and you have to wonder what made you start taking drugs in the first place peer pressure may have compelled you to take them in the beginning but continued and repeated use is another story I have yet to meet anyone who really loves themselves and who is hooked on drugs we use drugs and alcohol to escape our childhood feelings of not being good enough and when they wear off we feel worse than before then we usually have a load of guilt too we can know that it&amp;#39;s safe to feel our feelings and acknowledge them the feelings pass they don&amp;#39;t stay stuffing food into our bodies is another way to hide our love we can&amp;#39;t live without food because it fuels our bodies and helps to create new cells even though we may know the basics of good nutrition often we still use food and diets to punish ourselves and to create obesity we&amp;#39;ve become a nation of junk food addicts we have been on what I call the Great American diet for decades filling ourselves with processed foods of every sort we&amp;#39;ve allowed the food companies and their advertising gimmicks to influence our eating habits doctors aren&amp;#39;t even taught nutrition in medical schools unless they take it as an extracurricular subject most of what we consider conventional medicine at the moment concentrates on drugs and surgery so if we really want to learn about nutrition it&amp;#39;s an issue that we must take into our own hands it&amp;#39;s an act of loving ourselves to become aware of what we put into our mouths and how it makes us feel if you eat lunch and an hour later you start feeling sleepy you might ask yourself what did I eat you may have consumed something that isn&amp;#39;t good for your body at that particular time start noticing what gives you energy and what depletes you and brings you down you can do this by trial and error or you could find a good nutritionist who can answer some of your questions remember that what&amp;#39;s right for one person isn&amp;#39;t necessarily right for another our bodies are different a macrobiotic diet is wonderful for many people so is Harvey and Maryland diamonds Fit for Life method they are totally different concepts and yet they both work every body is different from every other body so we can&amp;#39;t say that only one method works you have to find out which way works best for you then find exercise that you enjoy that is fun to do create a positive mental attitude about your exercise often you create obstacles in your body&amp;#39;s primarily as a result of what you absorb from other people again you need to forgive yourself and stop putting anger and resentment into your body if you want to create changes combining affirmations with your exercise is a way to reprogram negative Concepts about your body and its shape we are in a time now where new technologies for health are multiplying and we are learning to combine some ancient healing methods such as ayurvedic medicine with sound wave technology I have been studying How Sound can stimulate our brain waves and accelerate our learning and healing there is research that shows that we can cure illness by mentally changing our DNA structure I think that between now and the end of the century we are going to explore a range of possibilities that will be enormously beneficial to much of the population Number Nine mirror work I often emphasize the importance of mirror work in order to find out the cause of an issue that keeps us from loving ourselves there are several ways that you can practice mirror work I like to look in the mirror the first thing in the morning and say to myself I love you what can I do for you today how can I make you happy listen to your inner voice and start following through with what you hear you may not get any messages to begin with because you&amp;#39;re so used to scolding yourself and you don&amp;#39;t know how to respond with a kind loving thought if something unpleasant happens to you during the day go to the mirror and say I love you anyway because events come and go but the love that you have for yourself can be constant and it is the most important quality you possess in your life if something wonderful happens go to the mirror and say thank you acknowledge yourself for creating this wonderful experience you can forgive in the mirror too forgive yourself and forgive others you can talk to other people in the mirror especially when you&amp;#39;re afraid to talk to them in person you can clean up old issues with people parents bosses doctors children lovers you can say all sorts of things that you would be afraid to say otherwise and remember to end by asking them for their love and approval because that is what you really want people who have problems loving themselves are almost always people who are not willing to forgive because not forgiving shuts the door to the heart when we forgive and let go not only does a huge weight drop off our shoulders but the doorway to our own self-love opens up people will say oh such a load is dropped off well of course it has because we&amp;#39;ve been carrying this burden forever Dr John Harrison States that forgiveness of both the self and the parents coupled with the release of past hurts cures more illness than any antibiotic ever could it takes a lot to make children stop loving their parents but when they do it takes even more for them to forgive them when we won&amp;#39;t forgive when we won&amp;#39;t let go we&amp;#39;re binding ourselves to the Past and when we are stuck in the past we cannot live in present time and if we are not living in the present how can we create our glorious future old garbage from the past just creates more garbage for the future affirmations performed in front of a mirror are advantageous because you learn the truth of your existence when you do an affirmation and you immediately hear a negative response such as who are you kidding or it can&amp;#39;t be true or you don&amp;#39;t deserve that then you have received a gift to use you cannot make the changes you want until you are willing to see what is holding you back the negative response you have just discovered is like a gift in that it becomes the key to Freedom turn that negative response into a positive affirmation such as I now deserve all good I allow good experiences to fill my life and repeat the new affirmation until it does become a new part of your life I have also seen families change enormously when just one person does affirmations many people at the hayride come from estranged families their parents literally will not talk to them and I&amp;#39;ve had them repeat the affirmation I have wonderful loving warm open communication with every member of my family including my mother or including my father every time that person or the family comes to mind I suggest that they go to the mirror and say the affirmation over and over again it&amp;#39;s often amazing to see the parents actually show up at the meeting three or six or nine months later number 10. love yourself now don&amp;#39;t wait until you get it right dissatisfaction with yourself is a habit pattern if you can be satisfied with yourself now if you can love and approve of yourself now then when good comes into your life you will be able to enjoy it once you learn to love yourself you can begin to love and accept other people we can&amp;#39;t change other people so leave them alone we spend a lot of energy trying to make others different if we used half that energy on ourselves we could make ourselves different and when we are different others respond differently to us you can&amp;#39;t learn life for another person everyone has to learn his or her particular lessons all you can do is learn for yourself and loving yourself is the first step so you are not brought down by other people&amp;#39;s destructive behaviors if you are in a situation where you are with a really negative person who doesn&amp;#39;t want to change you need to love yourself enough to move away from that one woman told me that her husband was very negative and that she didn&amp;#39;t want him to be a bad influence on her two little children I suggested that she start affirming that her husband was a wonderful supportive man who really is working on himself and is bringing out his best qualities I told her to affirm what she would like to have happen and every time he was negative simply run the affirmation through her mind however if the relationship continued to be negative no matter what affirmation she was saying then that might be the answer the relationship simply wouldn&amp;#39;t work anymore because of the increasing divorce rate in our country I think a question that many women need to ask themselves before they have children is am I willing to support these children totally on my own being a single parent has become more and more the norm and it&amp;#39;s almost always the woman who acquires the added responsibility of raising children by herself there was a time when marriage has lasted a lifetime but times have changed so it&amp;#39;s definitely a situation to be considered far too often we stay in abusive relationships and allow ourselves to be put down what we are saying to ourselves is I&amp;#39;m not worth loving so I will stay here and accept this Behavior because I must deserve it and I&amp;#39;m sure nobody else would want me I know that I sound simplistic and repeat the same Expressions over and over again but I truly do believe that the quickest way to change any problem is to love Who We Are it&amp;#39;s amazing how the loving vibrations we send out will attract to us people who are loving unconditional love is the goal I think we have come here to attain it begins with self-acceptance and self-love you are not here to please other people or to live your lives their way you can only live it your own way and walk your own pathway you have come to fulfill yourself and to express love on the deepest level you are here to learn and grow and to absorb and project compassion and understanding when you leave the planet you don&amp;#39;t take your relationship or your automobile or your bank account or your job with you the only thing you take is your capacity to love chapter nine loving the child Within if you can&amp;#39;t get close to other people it&amp;#39;s because you don&amp;#39;t know how to be close to your own inner child the child in you is scared and hurting be there for your child one of the core issues that we want to explore is healing the Forgotten child Within most of us have ignored our inner child for far too long doesn&amp;#39;t matter how old you are there is a little child within you who needs love and acceptance if you&amp;#39;re a woman no matter how self-reliant you are you have a little girl who&amp;#39;s very tender and needs help and if you are a man no matter how Macho you are no matter how old you are you still have a little boy inside of you who craves warmth and affection every age that you have been is within you within your Consciousness and memory as children when something went wrong you tended to believe that there was something wrong with you children develop the idea that if they could only do it right than parents or whoever would love them and they wouldn&amp;#39;t beat them or punish them so whenever the child wants something and doesn&amp;#39;t get it he or she believes I&amp;#39;m not good enough I&amp;#39;m defective and as we grow older we reject certain parts of ourselves at this point in our lives right now we need to begin to make ourselves whole and accept every part of Who We Are the part that did all the stupid things the part that was funny looking the part that was scared the part that was very foolish and silly the part that had egg on its face every single part of ourselves I think that we often turn off or tune out around the age of five we make that decision because we think that there is something wrong with us and we&amp;#39;re not going to have anything to do with the child anymore there is a parent inside as well you have a child and you have a parent and most of the time the parent scolds the child almost on a Non-Stop basis if you listen to your inner dialogue you can hear the scolding you can hear the parent tell you what you are doing wrong or how you are not good enough consequently we begin a war with ourselves and we start to criticize ourselves the way our parents have been criticizing us you&amp;#39;re stupid you&amp;#39;re not good enough you don&amp;#39;t do it right screw it up again it becomes a habit pattern when we become adults most of us totally ignore the child within us or we criticize the child in the same way we used to be criticized we continue the pattern over and over again I once heard John Bradshaw author of several marvelous books on healing the inner child say that each of us has 25 000 hours of parent tapes within us by the time we are adults how many hours of those tapes do you think are telling you how wonderful you are how much says that you are loved or that you are bright and intelligent or that you could do anything you wanted to and would grow up to be the greatest person in reality how many hours of those tapes are saying no no no in all its many forms it&amp;#39;s no wonder we say no to ourselves or should all the time we are responding to those old tapes however they are only tapes and are not the reality of your being they are not the truth of your existence they are just tapes you carry Within and they can be erased or re-recorded every time you say that you are scared realize it is the child in you who&amp;#39;s scared the grown-up really isn&amp;#39;t afraid yet the adult isn&amp;#39;t being there for the child the adult and the child need to develop a loving relationship with each other talk to each other about everything you do I know it may sound silly but it works let the child know that no matter what happens you will never turn away or run away you will always be there for it and love it for instance if when you were very young you had a bad experience with a dog that is maybe it scared you or even bit you the little child inside could still be frightened of dogs even though now you are a great big adult you may see a dog on the street that is Tiny But the little child inside you reacts in a total panic it says dog I&amp;#39;m gonna be hurt this is a wonderful opportunity for the adult inside of you to say to the child it&amp;#39;s okay I&amp;#39;m grown up now I will take care of you I won&amp;#39;t let that dog hurt you you don&amp;#39;t have to be frightened anymore start comforting your own child in this way healing the hurts of the past I have found that working with the inner child is most valuable in helping to heal the hurts of the past we are not always in touch with the feelings of the frightened little child within us if your childhood was full of fear and battling and you now mentally beat yourself up you are continuing to treat your inner child in much the same way the child inside however has no place to go you need to go beyond your parents limitations you need to connect with the little Lost Child inside he or she needs to know that you care take a moment now and tell your child that you care I care for you I love you I really love you maybe you&amp;#39;ve been saying this to the big person the adult inside you so start talking now to the little child visualize that you are taking him or her by the hand and go everywhere together for a few days and see what wonderfully joyous experiences you can have together you need to communicate with that part of yourself what are the messages you want to hear sit down quietly close your eyes and talk to your child if you haven&amp;#39;t talked to them in 62 years it may take a few times before the child will believe that you really want to talk to it be persistent I want to talk to you I want to see you I want to love you and you will eventually connect you may see the child inside you you may feel it or you may hear it one of the statements that you can make when you first talk to your child is an apology say that you are sorry that you haven&amp;#39;t talked to it in all these years or that you are sorry for scolding it for so long tell the child you want to make up for all the time spent apart from each other ask it how you can make it happy ask the child what frightens it ask how you can help and ask what it wants from you start out with simple questions and you will get the answers what can I do to make you happy what would you like today for instance you can say to the child I&amp;#39;m going to work what do you want to do they may answer go to the beach the communication will have begun in your mind&amp;#39;s eye see them going to the beach and having fun be consistent if you can take just a few moments a day to begin to connect with the little person inside of you life is going to be a lot better communicating with your inner child some of you may already be doing inner child work there are many books on the subject and many workshops and lectures are given about it self-parenting by John Pollard III is excellent and it&amp;#39;s filled with wonderful exercises and activities that you can do with your inner child if you are serious about doing practical work with your inner child I recommend that you pick up this book as I&amp;#39;ve said before there is a lot of help offered in this area you are not alone and helpless but you need to reach out and ask for help so that you can get assistance another suggestion I have is to find a photograph of yourself as a child and really look at the photograph do you see a miserable little kid do you see a happy child whatever you see connect with it if you see a frightened child ask why it was frightened and start doing something to make it feel better find several photos of your younger self and talk to the child in each photo it also helps to talk to your child in the mirror if you had a nickname as a child use that name have a box of tissues handy I suggest that you sit down in front of a mirror because if you&amp;#39;re standing as soon as it gets difficult you will run out the door instead sit down with your box of tissues and start talking another exercise you can do is to communicate through writing again lots of information will surface use two different colored pens or felt markers with one colored pen in your dominant hand write a question with the other colored pen in your non-dominant hand let your child write the answer it&amp;#39;s a very fascinating exercise when you are writing the question the adult thinks it knows the answer but by the time you pick up the pen with the awkward hand the answer often comes out quite differently than expected you can draw together too many of you probably love drawing and coloring when you were little children until you were told to be neat and not to draw outside of the lines so begin drawing again use your non-dominant hand to draw a picture about an event that just happened and notice how you feel ask your child a question and just let it draw with the non-dominant hand and see what it shows if you can get together with others in small core groups or support groups you can work on these ideas together you can all let your inner children draw pictures then you can sit around and discuss what the pictures mean the information you receive can be surprisingly insightful play with your little child do things that your child likes to do when you were little what did you really like to do and when was the last time you did it too often the parent inside us stops us from having fun because it&amp;#39;s not the adult thing to do so take the time to play and have fun do the silly things you did when you were young such as jumping in piles of leaves and running under the Hose Spray watch other children at play it will bring back memories of the games you played if you want more fun in your life make the connection with your inner child and come from that space of spontaneity and joy I promise that you will start having more fun in your life were you welcomed as a child were your parents really glad you were born were they delighted with your sexuality or did they want the opposite sex did you feel you were wanted as a child was there a celebration when you arrived whatever the responses were then welcome your child now create a celebration tell it all the wonderful things you would tell a little baby who was welcomed into its new life what is it you always wanted your parents to tell you when you were a child what was it they never said that you wanted to hear all right tell your child that very thing tell it to your child every day for a month while looking in the mirror and see what happens if you had alcoholic or abusive parents as a child you can meditate and visualize them as sober gentle people give your child what it wants it has probably been deprived for too long start visualizing the sort of life you would like to have with this child when the child feels safe and happy it can trust you ask what do I need to do so that you can trust me again you&amp;#39;ll be amazed at some of the answers if you had parents who are not loving at all and it&amp;#39;s really hard for you to relate to them find a picture of what you think a loving father or a loving mother looks like put the pictures of the loving parents around the photo of yourself as a child create some new images rewrite your childhood if you must the beliefs that you learned when you were little are still inside the child if your parents had rigid ideas and you&amp;#39;re very hard on yourself or tend to build walls your child is probably still following your parents rules if you continue to pick on yourself for every mistake it must be very scary for your inner child to wake up in the morning what are you going to yell at me about today what our parents did to us in the past was their consciousness we are the parents now we are using our consciousness if you are still refusing to take care of the little child you are stuck in self-righteous resentment invariably it means there is still someone to forgive so what is it you haven&amp;#39;t forgiven yourself for what do you need to let go of well whatever it is just let it go if we are not giving the child praise and attention now our parents aren&amp;#39;t the blame they were doing what they thought was right in that particular space and time however now in the present moment we know what we can do to nourish the child within us those of you who have had or have a pet know what it&amp;#39;s like to come home and have the pet greet you at the door it doesn&amp;#39;t care what you&amp;#39;re wearing it doesn&amp;#39;t care how old you are or if you have wrinkles or how much money you made today the animal only cares that you&amp;#39;re there it loves you unconditionally do that for yourself be thrilled that you are alive and that you are here you are the one person you are going to live with forever until you are willing to love your inner child it&amp;#39;s very hard for other people to love you accept yourself unconditionally and open-heartedly I find that it is often very helpful to create a meditation to help your child feel safe since I was a child of incest I invented a wonderful imagery for my little girl first of all she has a fairy godmother who looks just like Billy Burke in The Wizard of Oz because that&amp;#39;s what really appeals to her I know that when I&amp;#39;m not with her she is with her fairy godmother and she is always safe she also lives in a penthouse way high up with a doorman and two large dogs so she knows that no one will ever hurt her again when I can make her feel absolutely safe then I as the adult can help her to release the old painful experiences there was a time recently when I got off center and cried for two hours I realized that the little child in me suddenly felt very hurt and unprotected I had to tell her that she wasn&amp;#39;t bad or wrong rather that she was reacting to something that had happened so as quickly as I was able to I did some affirmations and meditated knowing that there was a power far greater that would support and love me after that the little girl didn&amp;#39;t feel so afraid and alone I&amp;#39;m also a great believer in teddy bears when you were very little often your teddy bear was your very first friend it was your confident because you could tell it all your secrets and troubles and it never snitched on you it was always there for you take your teddy bear out of the closet now and let your child have it once again or buy a new one I think it would also be marvelous for hospitals to supply teddy bears in all the beds so that when the little child in US feels alone and frightened in the middle of the night they could have a teddy bear to hug the many parts of you relationships are wonderful marriages are wonderful but the reality is they are all temporary however your relationship with you is eternal it goes on forever love the family within you the child the parent the teenager and your own adult remember there is a teenager inside you too welcome that teenager work with the teen as you work with the little child what were all the difficulties that you went through as a teenager ask your teen the question that you ask your child help the teenager through the intimidating episodes and apprehensive moments of puberty and Beyond make these times okay learn to love your teenager as you learn to love your child and yourself we can&amp;#39;t love and accept each other until we love and accept that Lost Child within us how old is the little Lost Child within you three four five usually the child is less than five years old because that is generally when the child shuts down out of the need to survive take your child by the hand and love it create a wonderful life for you and your child say to yourself I&amp;#39;m willing to learn to love my child I am willing the universe will respond you will find ways to heal your child and yourself if we want to heal we must be willing to feel our feelings and move through them to the other side for the healing remember our higher power is always available to support us in our efforts no matter what your Early Childhood was like the best or the worst you and only you are in charge of your life now you can spend your time blaming your parents or your early environment but all that accomplishes is to keep you stuck in victim patterns it never helps you get the good you say you want love is the biggest eraser I know love erases even the deepest and most painful memories because Love Goes deeper than anything else if your mental images of the past are very strong and you keep affirming it&amp;#39;s all their fault you stay stuck do you want a life of pain or one of joy the choice and power are always within you look into your eyes and love you and the little child Within chapter 10 growing up and getting old be as understanding with your parents as you want them to be with you communicating with our parents when I was growing up my teenage years were the most difficult of all I had so many questions but I did not want to listen to those who thought they had the answers especially adults I wanted to learn everything by myself because I did not trust the information that grown-ups gave me I felt particular animosity towards my parents because I was an abused child I could not understand how my stepfather could treat me the way he did nor could I understand how my mother could simply ignore what he was doing to me I felt cheated and misunderstood and I was certain that my family specifically and the world in general were against me through my many years spent in the counseling of others particularly young people I have found that many people share the same feelings about their parents that I had about mine some of the words I hear teenagers use to describe how they feel are trapped judged watched and misunderstood of course it would be great to have parents who would be accommodating in any given situation however in most cases that is not possible Although our parents are merely human beings like the rest of us we often feel that they are being unfair and unreasonable and have no understanding of what we are going through one young man I counseled had a very difficult time relating to his father he felt that they had nothing in common and when his father spoke to him it was simply to utter some negative or belittling comment I asked the young man if he knew how his grandfather had treated his father and he admitted that he didn&amp;#39;t his grandfather had died before the young man was born I suggested that he asked his father about his own childhood and how it affected him at first the young man was hesitant because it was uncomfortable to talk to his father without feeling he would be ridiculed or judged however he took the plunge and agreed to approach his father the next time I saw him the young man seemed more at ease wow he exclaimed I didn&amp;#39;t realize what kind of a childhood my own father had apparently his grandfather had insisted that all of his children address him as sir and they lived by the old standard the children were to be seen but not heard if they dared to utter one contrary word they were severely beaten no wonder his father was critical when we grow up many of us have the good intentions of treating our children differently than the way we were treated however we learn from the world around us and sooner or later we began to sound and act just like our parents in the case of this young man his father inflicted the same kind of verbal abuse on his son that his own father had heaped on him he may not have intended to do so he was merely acting in a way consistent with his own upbringing however the young man came to understand a little more about his father and as a result they were able to communicate more freely although it would take some effort and patience on both their parts before their level of communication would be ideal at least they were moving in the right direction I strongly believe that it is very important for all of us to take the time to find out more about our parents childhoods if your parents are still alive you can ask them what was it like when you were growing up what was love like in your family how did your parents punish you what kind of peer pressure did you have to face in those days did your parents like your friends did you have a job while you were growing up by learning more about our parents we can see the patterns that have shaped who they are and in turn see why they treat us as they do as we learn to empathize with our parents we will see them in a new more loving light you may be able to open doors to a more communicative loving relationship one that has mutual respect and Trust if you have difficulty even talking with your parents first start in your mind or in front of the mirror imagine yourself telling them there&amp;#39;s something I want to speak to you about I want you to know who I am go through this process several days in a row it will help you decide what you want to say and how to say it or do a meditation and in your mind talk to each of your parents and clean up your old issues forgive them and forgive yourself tell them you love them then prepare to tell them the same things in person at one of my groups a young man told me he had a lot of anger and that he didn&amp;#39;t trust others he recycled this pattern of distrust over and over again in all his relationships when we got to the root of the problem he told me that he was so angry with his father for not being the person he wanted him to be again when we are on a spiritual pathway it&amp;#39;s not up to us to change the other person first of all we need to release all the pent-up feelings we Harbor against our parents and then we need to forgive them for not being who we wanted them to be we always want everyone else to be like us to think like us to dress like us to do what we do however as you know we are all so very different in order to have the space to be ourselves we need to give that space to others by forcing our parents to be something that they are not we cut off our own love we judge our parents just the way that they judge us if we want to share with our parents we need to begin by erasing our own preconceived judgments of them many of you continue to have power struggle games with your parents as you grow older parents push a lot of buttons so if you want to stop playing the game you are going to have to stop taking a part in it it&amp;#39;s time for you to grow up and decide what you want you can begin by calling your parents by their first names calling the Mommy and Daddy when you are in your 40s only keeps you stuck in the little child World start becoming two adults instead of parent and child another suggestion is to write an affirmative treatment that details the kind of relationship you want with your mother and or father begin declaring these words for yourself after a while you can tell him or her face to face if your mother or father is still pushing your buttons you are not letting either of them know how you really feel you have a right to have the life you want you have a right to be an adult it may not be easy I know first decide what it is that you need and then tell your mother or father what that is don&amp;#39;t make them wrong ask how can we work this out remember with understanding comes forgiveness and with forgiveness comes love when we progress to the point where we can love and forgive our parents we will be well on our way to being able to enjoy fulfilling relationships with everyone in our lives teens need self-esteem it alarms me that the rate of suicide among our teenagers is so on the rise it seems that more and more young people feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life and would just as soon give up rather than to persevere and experience the multitude of Adventures that life has to offer much of this problem has to do with the way we as adults expect them to respond to life situations do we want them to react as we would do we bombard them with negativity the period between 10 and 15 can be a very critical time children in that age group have the tendency to conform and they will do anything to be accepted by their peers in their need for acceptance they often hide their true feelings for fear they will not be accepted and loved for whom they really are the peer pressure and societal stress that I experienced when I was young pale in comparison to that which today&amp;#39;s young people must endure And yet when I was 15 due to physical and mental abuse I left home and school to be on my own think how jarring it must be for the child of today to have to deal with drug abuse physical abuse sexually transmitted diseases peer pressure and gangs family problems and on a global level threat of nuclear war environmental upheavals crime and so much more as a parent you can discuss the differences between negative and positive peer pressure with your team peer pressure is all around us from the moment we&amp;#39;re born until the day we leave the planet we must learn how to deal with it and not let it control us similarly it is important for us to gain some knowledge and understanding of why our children are shy mischievous sad slow in school destructive Etc children are strongly influenced by the thinking feeling patterns established in the home and he or she makes daily choices and decisions from that belief system if the home environment is not conducive to trusting and loving the child will seek trust love and compassion elsewhere many gangs are a place where children feel safe they form a family bond No matter how dysfunctional it is I truly believe that a lot of hardships could be avoided if we could only get young people to ask themselves one important question before they act will this make me feel better about myself we can help our teenagers see their choices in each situation choice and responsibility put power back into their hands it enables them to do something without feeling like victims of the system if we can teach children that they are not victims and that it is possible for them to change their experiences by taking responsibility for their own lives we will begin to see major breakthroughs it is vitally important to keep the lines of communication open with children especially when they&amp;#39;re in their teen years usually what happens when children start to talk about their likes and dislikes is that they are told over and over again don&amp;#39;t say that don&amp;#39;t do that don&amp;#39;t feel that don&amp;#39;t be that way don&amp;#39;t express that don&amp;#39;t don&amp;#39;t don&amp;#39;t and eventually the children stop communicating and sometimes leave home if you want to have your children around as you grow older keep the lines of communication open when they are younger applaud your child&amp;#39;s uniqueness allow your teenagers to express themselves in their own style even if you think it&amp;#39;s just a fad don&amp;#39;t make them wrong or tear them down goodness knows I&amp;#39;ve been through many many fads in my lifetime and so will you and your teenagers what do you really want for your children is an excellent book by Wayne Dyer children learn from our actions children never do what we tell them to do they do what we do we can&amp;#39;t say don&amp;#39;t smoke or don&amp;#39;t drink or don&amp;#39;t do drugs if we do them we have to serve as examples and live the sort of life we want our children to express when parents are willing to work on loving themselves it&amp;#39;s amazing to see the harmony that is achieved within the family children respond with a new sense of self-esteem and start to value and respect who they are an exercise in self-esteem that you and your children can do together is to make a list of some of the goals you would like to achieve ask your children to write down how they see themselves in 10 years in one year in three months what kind of lives do they want to have what kind of friends would be most beneficial have them list their goals with short descriptions of each as well as how they can make their dreams come true and you do the same all of you might keep the list nearby to remind yourself of your goals in three months time go over the list together have the goals changed don&amp;#39;t let your children beat themselves up if they didn&amp;#39;t get as far as they wanted they can always revise their lists what is most important to give young people is something positive to look forward to separation and divorce if there is separation and or divorce in the family it is important that each parent be supportive it&amp;#39;s very stressful for a child to be told that the other parent is no good as the parent you want to love yourself through the fears and anger as much as possible the children will pick up feelings from you if you&amp;#39;re going through a lot of turmoil and pain they will surely pick that up from you explain to your children that your stuff has nothing to do with them and their inner worth don&amp;#39;t let them get the idea that anything that&amp;#39;s happened is their fault because that&amp;#39;s what most children think let them know that you love them very much and will always be there for them I suggest you do mirror work with your children every morning do affirmations that will get you through the trying times easily and effortlessly so that everyone will be okay release your painful experiences with love and affirm happiness for all concerned there&amp;#39;s a wonderful group called the California state task force to promote self-esteem and personal and social responsibility it was created in 1987 by assemblyman John vasconcellus among the appointed members of Jack Canfield and Dr Emmett Miller I support its efforts in researching and making recommendations to the government to bring self-esteem programs into the schools other states are following suit by including self-esteem curriculum in the classroom look into these groups I believe that we are on the brink of some major changes in our society especially with regard to understanding our own self-worth if teachers especially can get their own self-worth on the right track they will help our children tremendously children reflect the social and economic pressures with which we are faced any program having to do with self-esteem will need to Encompass students parents and teachers as well as businesses and organizations growing older graciously so many of us fear growing old and looking old we make growing old so terrible and unattractive yet it is a normal and natural process of living if we can&amp;#39;t accept our inner child and be comfortable with who we were and Who We Are how can we accept the next stage if you don&amp;#39;t grow old what is the alternative you leave the planet as a culture we have created what I call youth worship it&amp;#39;s all very well and good to love ourselves at certain ages but why can&amp;#39;t we love ourselves as we get older we will eventually go through every age of life many women feel a lot of anxiety and fear when they think about getting old the gay community also deals with a lot of issues having to do with youth and looks and loss of beauty getting old May mean getting wrinkles and gray hair and saggy skin and yes I want to grow old it&amp;#39;s all part of being here we are on this planet to experience every part of life I can understand that we don&amp;#39;t want to get old and sick so let&amp;#39;s separate those two ideas let&amp;#39;s not imagine or Envision ourselves getting sick as a way to die I do not personally believe that we have to die with illness instead when it is our time to leave when we have accomplished what we came here to do we can take a nap or go to bed at night and leave peacefully we don&amp;#39;t have to become deathly ill we don&amp;#39;t have to be hooked to machines we don&amp;#39;t have to lie suffering in a nursing home in order to leave the planet there&amp;#39;s a tremendous amount of information available on how to stay healthy don&amp;#39;t put it off do it now when we get older we want to feel wonderful so we can continue to experience new adventures I read something a while ago that intrigued me it was an article about a San Francisco medical school that had discovered that the way we age is not determined by genes but by something they call the Aging set point a biological time clock that exists in our minds this mechanism actually monitors when and how we begin to age the set point or aging clock is regulated in great part by one important factor our attitudes towards getting old for instance if you believe that 35 is middle aged that belief triggers biological changes in your body that cause it to accelerate the aging process when you reach 35. isn&amp;#39;t that fascinating somewhere somehow we decide what is middle age and what is old age where are you setting that aging set point within you I have this image in my mind that I&amp;#39;m going to live to be 96 years and still be active so it&amp;#39;s very important that I keep myself healthy remember too what we give out we get back be aware of how you treat older people because when you get old that will be the way you are treated if you believe certain Concepts about old people again you are forming ideas that your subconscious will respond to our beliefs our thoughts our Concepts about life and about ourselves always become true for us remember I believe that you choose your parents before you were born in order to learn valuable lessons your higher self knew the experiences that were necessary for you to proceed on your spiritual course so whatever you came to work out with your parents get on with it no matter what they say or do or said or did you are here ultimately To Love Yourself as parents allow your children to love themselves by giving them the space to feel safe and to express themselves in positive harmless ways remember too just as we choose our parents our children also chose us there are important lessons for all of us to work out parents who love themselves will find it easier to teach their children about self-love when we feel good about ourselves we can teach our children self-worth by example the more we work on loving ourselves the more our children will realize that it&amp;#39;s an okay thing to do part four applying your inner wisdom all the theories in the world are useless unless there is action positive change and finally healing chapter 11 receiving prosperity when we get frightened we want to control everything and then we shut off the flow of good trust life everything we need is here for us power within us is willing to give us our fond streams and enormous plenty instantaneously the problem is that we are not open to receiving it if we want something our higher power doesn&amp;#39;t say I&amp;#39;ll think about it it readily responds and sends it through but we have to be ready for it if not it goes back into the storehouse of unfulfilled desires many people come to my lectures and sit with their arms folded across their bodies and I think how are they going to let anything in It&amp;#39;s a Wonderful symbolic gesture to open our arms wide so the universe notices and responds for many it&amp;#39;s very scary because if they open themselves up they will think they may get terrible things and they probably will until they change whatever it is inside them that believes they will attract Doom and Gloom when we use the term Prosperity a lot of people immediately think of money however there are many other Concepts that come under the auspices of prosperity such as time love success Comfort Beauty knowledge relationships health and of course money if you are always feeling rushed because there isn&amp;#39;t enough time to do everything you want then you have a lack of time you are poor in time if you feel that success is beyond your reach then you are not going to get it if you feel life is burdensome and strenuous then you will always feel uncomfortable if you think you don&amp;#39;t know very much and you&amp;#39;re too dumb to figure things out you will never feel connected to the wisdom of the universe if you feel a lack of love and have poor relationships then it will be difficult for you to attract love into your life what about beauty there is beauty all around us do you experience the beauty that is abundant on the planet or do you see everything as ugly and wasteful and dirty how is your health are you sick all the time do you catch colds easily do you get many aches and pains and then there is money many of you tell me there is never enough money in your lives what do you let yourself have or perhaps you feel you are on a fixed income who fixed it none of the above has anything to do with receiving people always think oh I want to get this and that and whatever however abundance and prosperity is about allowing yourself to accept when you are not getting what you want on some level you are not allowing yourself to accept if we are stingy with life then life will be stingy with us if we steal from life life will steal from us being honest with ourselves honesty is a word we use a lot not always understanding the true significance of what it means to be honest it has nothing to do with morality or being a goody-goody being honest really has little to do with getting caught or going to jail it is an act of love for ourselves the main value of honesty is that whatever we give out in life we will get back the law of cause and effect is always operating on all levels if we belittle or judge others then we too are judged if we are always angry then we encounter anger wherever we go the love we have for ourselves Keeps Us in tune with the love life has for us for instance imagine that your apartment has just been burglarized do you immediately think that you&amp;#39;re a victim my apartment was just ripped off who did this to me it is a devastating feeling when something like that happens however do you stop to think of how and why you attracted the experience again taking responsibility for creating our own experiences is not an idea that many of us want to accept all the time perhaps just some of the time it is so much easier to blame something outside of ourselves yet our spiritual growth cannot occur until we recognize that there is little of value outside of us everything comes from within when I hear that someone has just been robbed or experienced some kind of loss the first question I ask is whom did you steal from lately if a curious look comes over their face I know I have touched a tender spot if we think back to a time when we took something and then think of what we lost shortly thereafter the connection between the two experiences can be an eye-opener when we take something that isn&amp;#39;t ours we almost always lose something of greater value we might take money or some object and then we might lose a relationship if we steal a relationship we might lose a job if we lift stamps and pens from the office we might miss a train or a dinner date the losses almost always hurt us in some important area of Our Lives it&amp;#39;s unfortunate that many people steal from large companies department stores restaurants or hotels and so on rationalizing that these businesses can afford it this type of rationalization does not work the law of cause and effect continues to operate for each one of us if we take we lose if we give we get it cannot be otherwise if there are many losses in your life or many things are going wrong you might examine the ways in which you are taking some people who would not dream of stealing things will self-righteously rob another person of time or self-esteem each time we make another person feel guilty we are stealing self-worth from them to be truly honest on all levels takes a great deal of self-examination and self-awareness when we take something that does not belong to us we are in effect instructing the universe that we don&amp;#39;t feel worthy of earning we aren&amp;#39;t good enough we want to be stolen from or we believe there is not enough to go around we believe that we must be sneaky and grab to get our good these beliefs become effective walls around us that prevent us from experiencing abundance and joy in our lives these negative beliefs are not the truth of our being we are magnificent and deserve the very best this planet is abundantly plentiful our good always comes to us by the right of consciousness the work we do in Consciousness is always one of refining what we say and think and do when we clearly understand that our thoughts create our reality then we use our reality as a feedback mechanism to let us know what we need to change next being absolutely honest down to the last paper clip is a choice we make out of love for ourselves honesty helps to make our lives run more smoothly and more easily if you go to a store and they don&amp;#39;t charge you for something you&amp;#39;ve bought and you know it then it&amp;#39;s your spiritual obligation to tell them so if you are aware you call it to their attention if you don&amp;#39;t know it or only realize it when you get home or two days later then that&amp;#39;s something different if dishonesty brings disharmony into our lives imagine what love and honesty can create the good in our lives the wonderful surprises we have these two we have created as we look within ourselves with honesty and unconditional love we will discover so much about our power what we can learn to create with our own Consciousness has far greater value than any amount of money we could possibly steal your home is your sanctuary everything is a reflection of what you believe you deserve look at your home is it a place that you really love to live in is it comfortable and joyous or cramped dirty and always messy the same with your car do you like it how does it reflect the love you have for yourself are your clothes a bother and a nuisance and something you have to deal with your clothes are also a reflection of how you feel about yourself again the thoughts we have about ourselves can always be changed if you want to find a new home Begin by opening yourself up to finding the right place and affirm that it is waiting for you when I was looking for a new home in Los Angeles I couldn&amp;#39;t believe that I would only find appalling places I kept thinking that this is Los Angeles and it&amp;#39;s filled with wonderful Apartments so where are they it took me six months to find the one I wanted and it was magnificent during the time I was looking the building was being constructed and when it was finished I found it waiting for me if you look for something but you&amp;#39;re not finding it there is probably a good reason if you want to move from where you are because you don&amp;#39;t like it thank your present home for being there appreciate it for Sheltering you from the weather if it&amp;#39;s difficult to like it start with one part of the house that you like it may be a corner of your bedroom don&amp;#39;t say I hate this little place because if you do you&amp;#39;re not going to find something that you love love where you are so you can be open to receiving a wonderful new home if your home is messy and cluttered then start cleaning it up your home is a reflection of your mind loving relationships I&amp;#39;m a great admirer of Dr Bernie Siegel the Connecticut surgeon who has written love medicine and miracles Dr Siegel has learned much from his cancer patients and I would like to share what he says about unconditional love many people especially cancer patients grow up believing that there is some terrible flaw at the center of their being a defect they must hide if they are to have any chance for love feeling unloved and unlovable and condemned to loneliness if their true selves became known such individuals set up defenses against sharing their innermost feelings with anyone because such people feel a profound emptiness inside they come to see all relationships and transactions in terms of getting something to fulfill the vaguely understood void Within they give love only on condition that they get something for it and this leads to an Ever deeper sense of emptiness which keeps the Vicious Cycle going whenever I give a lecture and allow my audience the opportunity to ask questions I can always count on being asked one thing in particular how can I create healthy lasting relationships all relationships are important because they reflect how you feel about yourself if you are constantly beating yourself up by thinking that everything that goes wrong is your fault or that you are always a victim then you are going to attract the type of relationships that reinforce those beliefs in you one woman told me that she was in a relationship with a very caring and loving man yet she had a need to test his love so I asked her why would you test his love she said that she felt Unworthy of his love because she wasn&amp;#39;t loving herself enough so I suggested that three times a day she stand with her arms open and say I am willing to let the love in it&amp;#39;s safe to let the love in then I told her to look into her own eyes and say I deserve and I am willing to have even if I don&amp;#39;t deserve too often you deny your good because you don&amp;#39;t believe you can have it for instance you want to get married or have a long lasting relationship the person you go out with has four of the qualities you want in a partner you know you&amp;#39;re on your way you want a little more of this or want to add a little something new to your list depending on how much you believe you deserve to be loved you may have to go through a dozen people before you get what you really want likewise if you believe that a higher power has surrounded you with truly loving people or that everyone you meet or know brings only good into your life then those are the types of relationships you will ultimately draw to yourself codependent relationships personal relationships always seem to be the first priority for many of us perhaps you are always searching for love hunting for love doesn&amp;#39;t bring the right partner because the reasons for wanting love are unclear we think oh if I only had someone who loved me my life would be all better that&amp;#39;s not the way it works one exercise that I recommend is to write down the qualities you want from a relationship such as fun intimacy open and positive communication Etc and look at your list are these standards impossible to fulfill which of these requirements could you supply yourself there&amp;#39;s a big difference between the need for love and being needy for love when you are needy for love it simply means that you are missing love and approval from the most important person you know yourself you become involved in relationships that are codependent and ineffectual for both partners when we need someone else to fulfill us we are codependent when we rely on another to take care of us so that we don&amp;#39;t have to do it ourselves we become codependent many of us from dysfunctional families have learned codependency from the way we grew up I believe for years that I was not good enough and I sought love and approval wherever I went if you are always telling the other person what to do then you are probably trying to manipulate the relationship on the other hand if you are working to change your own inner patterns then you are allowing things to happen in the right course take a moment to stand in front of a mirror and think about some of your own negative childhood beliefs that have been affecting your relationships can you see how you are still recreating the same beliefs think of some positive childhood beliefs do they hold the same charge for you as the negative ones tell yourself that the negative beliefs no longer serve you and replace them with new positive affirmations you may want to write down the new beliefs and place them where you can see them every day again be patient with yourself persevere with the new belief as much as you did with the old one there were many times when I slipped back into Old patterns before my new beliefs took root remember when you are able to contribute to the Fulfillment of your own needs then you will not be so needy so codependent it all begins with how much you love yourself when you truly love yourself you stay centered calm and secure and your relationships at home as well as at work are wonderful you will find yourself reacting to various situations and people differently matters that once may have been desperately important won&amp;#39;t be quite as important anymore new people will enter your life and perhaps some old ones will disappear which can be scary at first and also wonderful refreshing and exciting once you know what you want in a relationship you must go out and be with people no one is going to suddenly appear at your doorstep a good way to meet people is in a support group it enables you to connect with people who are like-minded or who are involved in the same interests it&amp;#39;s amazing how quickly you can meet new friends there are many groups and classes available in cities all around the world you need to seek these groups out it helps when you associate with people traveling a similar path an affirmation I suggest is I am open and receptive to wonderful good experiences coming into my life it&amp;#39;s much better than saying I&amp;#39;m looking for a new lover be open and receptive and the universe will respond for your highest good you will find that as your self-love grows so will your self-respect and any changes that you find yourself needing to make will be easier to accomplish when you know that they are the right ones for you Love Is Never outside yourself it is always within you as you are more loving you will be more lovable beliefs about money having fear about the issue of money comes from our early childhood programming a woman at one of my workshops said that her wealthy father had always had a fear of going broke and he had passed on the fear that money would be taken away she grew up being afraid that she wouldn&amp;#39;t be taken care of her Freedom with money was tied to the fact that her father manipulated his family through guilt she had plenty of money all her life and her lesson was to let go of the fear that she couldn&amp;#39;t take care of herself even without all the money she still could take care of herself many of our parents grew up in the depression and many of us have inherited beliefs When We Were Young such as we may starve or we may never find work or we may lose our home or our car or whatever very few children say no that&amp;#39;s nonsense children accept it and say yes that&amp;#39;s right make a list of your parents beliefs about money ask yourself if you are still choosing to believe them now you will want to go beyond your parents limitations and fears because your life is not the same now stop repeating these old beliefs to yourself begin transforming the pictures in your mind when an opportunity comes up don&amp;#39;t Echo your past history of lack begin proclaiming the new message for today you can begin now to affirm that it&amp;#39;s okay to have money and riches and that you will use your money wisely it is normal and natural for us to have more money at certain times than others if we can trust the power within us to always take care of us no matter what we can easily flow through the lean times knowing that we will have more in the future money isn&amp;#39;t the answer although many of us think that if we have a lot of money everything will be fine we won&amp;#39;t have any more problems or worries but money is truly not the answer some of us have all the money that we could ever need and we still aren&amp;#39;t happy be grateful for what you have a gentleman I knew told me that he felt guilty because he couldn&amp;#39;t pay back his friends for the kindness and gifts they gave him when he was not doing so well I told him that there are times when the universe gives to us in whatever form we may need and we may not be able to give back at that time in whatever way the universe has decided to respond to your needs be grateful there will come a time when you will help someone else it may not be with money but with time or compassion sometimes we don&amp;#39;t realize that these things can be more valuable than money I can think of many people during the early days of my life who help me enormously at a time when there was no way for me to pay them back years later I&amp;#39;ve taken the opportunity to help others too often we feel we must exchange Prosperity we must reciprocate if someone takes us to lunch we immediately have to take them out to lunch or somebody gives us a gift and we immediately have to buy one for them we could learn to receive with thanks learn to accept because the universe perceives our openness to receive as not just exchanging prosperity much of our problem stems from our inability to receive we can give but it&amp;#39;s so difficult to receive when someone gives you a gift smile and say thank you if you say to that person oh it&amp;#39;s the wrong size of the wrong color I guarantee the person won&amp;#39;t ever give you another gift sept graciously and if it really isn&amp;#39;t right for you give it to someone else who can use it we want to be grateful for what we do have so that we can attract more good to us if we focus on lack then we will draw it to us if we are in debt we need to forgive ourselves not berate ourselves we need to focus on the debt being paid off by doing affirmations and visualizations the best thing we can do for people who are having money problems is to teach them how to create it in Consciousness because then it&amp;#39;s lasting it&amp;#39;s much more lasting than handing them some money I&amp;#39;m not saying don&amp;#39;t give your money away but don&amp;#39;t give it away because you feel guilty people seem to say well I have to help other people you&amp;#39;re a people too you are somebody and you&amp;#39;re worthy of prosperity your Consciousness is the best bank account you can have when you put in worthwhile thoughts you will reap large dividends tithing is a universal principle one of the ways to attract money into your life is to tithe tithing ten percent of your income has long been an established principle I like to think of it as giving back to life when we do that we seem to prosper more the churches have always wanted you to tithe to them it&amp;#39;s one of their principal ways of gathering income in current years that has expanded to tithing to where you get your spiritual food who or what has nourished you on your quest for improving the quality of your life that could be the perfect place for you to tithe if tithing to a church or a person doesn&amp;#39;t appeal to you there are many wonderful non-profit organizations that could benefit others by your contributions investigate and find the one that is right for you people often say I will tithe when I have more money of course then they never do if you are going to tithe start now and watch the blessings flow however if you only tithe to get more then you have missed the point it must be freely given or it won&amp;#39;t work I feel that life has been very good to me and I gladly give to life in various ways there is so much abundance in this world just waiting for you to experience it if you would know that there is more money than you could ever spend or more people than you could ever meet and more joy that you could possibly imagine you would have everything you need and desire if you ask for your highest good then trust The Power Within to provide it for you be honest with yourself and others don&amp;#39;t cheat not even a little it will only come back to you the infinite intelligence that permeates all says yes to you when something comes into your life don&amp;#39;t push it away say yes to it open yourself to receiving good say yes to your world opportunity and prosperity will increase a hundred fold chapter 12. expressing your creativity when our inner Vision opens our Horizons expand our work is a Divine expression when people ask me about my purpose in life I tell them that my work is my purpose it is very sad to know that most people hate their jobs and even worse that they don&amp;#39;t know what they want to do finding your life&amp;#39;s purpose finding work that you love to do is loving Who You Are your work serves as your expression of creativity you need to go beyond your feelings of not being good enough or not knowing enough allow the Creative Energy of the universe to flow through you in ways that are deeply satisfying to you it doesn&amp;#39;t matter what you do as long as it is satisfying to your being and it fulfills you if you hate where you work or hate what you&amp;#39;re doing you will always feel the same about your job unless you change inside if you go to a new job with your same old work beliefs you will only feel the same way again in time part of the problem is that many people ask for what they want in a negative way one woman had a very difficult time stating what she wanted in a positive way she kept repeating I don&amp;#39;t want this to be a part of the job or I don&amp;#39;t want this to happen or I don&amp;#39;t want to feel the negative energy there can you see that she was not declaring what she did want we need to be clear on what we want sometimes it&amp;#39;s Troublesome to ask for what we want it&amp;#39;s so easy to say what we don&amp;#39;t want start declaring what you want your work to be my work is deeply fulfilling I help people I am able to be aware of what they need I work with people that love me I feel safe at all times or perhaps my work allows me to express my creativity freely I earn good money doing things I love or I am always happy at work my career is filled with joy and laughter and abundance always declare in the present tense what you declare you will get if you don&amp;#39;t then there are beliefs within you that are refusing to accept your good make a list of what I believe about work you may be amazed at the negative beliefs within you you won&amp;#39;t Prosper until you change those beliefs when you work at a job you hate you are shutting down your power to express itself think of the qualities you want in a job what it would feel like if you had the perfect job it is essential that you are clear about what you do want your higher self will find a job that is right for you if you don&amp;#39;t know be willing to know open yourself to the wisdom that is inside you I learned early through science of mind that my job was to express life every time I was presented with a problem I knew it was an opportunity to grow and that the power that created me had given me everything I needed to solve that problem after my initial panic I would quiet my mind and turn Within I gave thanks for the opportunity to demonstrate the power of the Divine intelligence working through me when it one of my workshops wanted to be an actress her parents persuaded her to attend law school and she was under a lot of pressure from everyone around her to go into law however she stopped going after one month she decided to take an acting class because that is what she always wanted to do soon after she started having dreams that she was going nowhere in her life and she became miserable and depressed she was having a problem letting go of her doubts and had reservations about making the biggest mistake in her life which she feared she could never go back and change I asked her whose voice is that in there and she said those were the words that her father had told her several times there are many people who can relate to this young woman&amp;#39;s story she wanted to act and her parents wanted her to be a lawyer she got to a point of confusion not knowing what to do she needed to understand that it was her father&amp;#39;s way of saying I love you if she became a lawyer he felt she would be safe and secure and that&amp;#39;s what he wanted however it&amp;#39;s not what she wanted she had to do what was right for her life even if it did not meet her father&amp;#39;s expectations I told her to sit in front of the mirror and look into her eyes and say I love you and I support you in having what you really want I&amp;#39;m going to support you in every way that I can I told her to take the time to listen she needed to connect to her inner wisdom and realize that she didn&amp;#39;t have to please anyone other than herself she could love her father and still fulfill herself she had the right to feel worthy and able to do it and she could tell her father I love you and I don&amp;#39;t want to be a lawyer I want to be an actress or whatever it&amp;#39;s one of our challenges to do what is right for us even when those who care about us have other ideas we are not here to fulfill other people&amp;#39;s expectations when we have strong beliefs that we don&amp;#39;t deserve we have problems doing what we want if other people tell you that you can&amp;#39;t have and then you deny yourself the child inside you doesn&amp;#39;t believe it deserves anything good again it comes back to learning and practicing ways to love yourself more each day I repeat do begin by writing down everything you believe about work and failure and success look at all the negatives and realize that those are the beliefs that keep you from flowing in this area you may find you have many beliefs that say you deserve to fail take each negative statement and turn it into a positive one begin to shape in your mind what you want your fulfilling work to be your income can come from many sources how many of us believe that we have to work hard to earn a good living especially in this country there is a work ethic that implies that one must work hard to be a good person and in addition to that work is drudgery I have found that if you work at what you love you can usually create a good income for yourself if you continually say I hate this job you will get nowhere whatever you are doing bring love and a positive attitude into it if you are in an uncomfortable situation look within to see what is the best lesson for you to learn from it one woman told me that her belief system allowed money to come to her from all sorts of unexpected sources her friends criticized her ability to draw wealth to her in her unique way and insisted that she had to work hard to earn money she said that they knew she didn&amp;#39;t work hard at all so she began to run the fear that if she didn&amp;#39;t work hard that meant that she didn&amp;#39;t deserve the money she had her Consciousness was on the right track originally she needed to thank herself instead of becoming fearful she understood how to manifest abundance and her life was working in that area without any struggle however her friends wanted to pull her down because they all worked hard and they didn&amp;#39;t have as much money as she did many times I reach out my hand to others and if they take it and want to learn new things and go places it&amp;#39;s wonderful if they try and drag me down I say goodbye and I work with somebody who really wants to come up out of the mud if your life is filled with love and joy don&amp;#39;t listen to some miserable lonely person who tells you how to run your life if your life is Rich and abundant don&amp;#39;t listen to someone who is poor and in debt tell you how to run it very often our parents are the ones telling us how to do things they often come from a place of burden and hardship and misery and then try to tell us how to run our lives many people worry about the economy and believe they will either earn or lose money due to the economic situation at present however the economy is always moving up and down so it doesn&amp;#39;t matter what is happening out there or what others do to change the economy we are not stuck because of the economy no matter what is happening out there in the world it only matters what you believe about yourself if you have a fear about becoming homeless ask yourself where am I not at home within myself where do I feel abandoned what do I need to do to experience inner peace all outer experiences reflect inner beliefs I have long used the affirmation my income is constantly increasing another affirmation I like is I go beyond my parents income level you see you have a right to earn more than your parents did it&amp;#39;s almost a necessity as things cost more now women especially experience a lot of conflict with this one often they find it difficult to earn more than their fathers are earning they need to go beyond their feelings of not deserving and accept the abundance of financial wealth that is their divine right your job is only one of many channels of an infinite source of money money is not the object of your right work money can come to you in many ways and from many Avenues no matter how it comes accept it with joy and as a gift from the universe a young lady was complaining that her in-laws were buying her new baby all sorts of nice things and she could not afford to buy anything I reminded her that the Universe wanted that baby to be well supplied with an abundance of all good and used the in-laws as a channel to supply it she then could be grateful and appreciate the way in which the universe was providing for her baby relationships on the job the relationships we create at work are similar to the relationships we have as a family they can be healthy or they can be dysfunctional a woman once asked me as a person who is usually positive how do I deal with people in a work environment who are constantly negative first of all I thought it interesting that she was in a work environment where everybody was negative when she said she was positive I wondered why she was attracting negativity to her perhaps there was some negativity within her that she did not recognize I suggested that she start to believe for herself that she always worked in an area where it was peaceful and joyful where people really appreciated each other and life as a whole where there was respect on all sides instead of complaining how so-and-so had to do it his way she could affirm for herself that she always worked in the ideal place by adopting this philosophy she could either help bring out the best qualities in others because they would be responding differently to her inner changes or she would find herself in another work Arena where the conditions would be as she declared a man once told me that when he started his job he had all these incredible instincts and his job was wonderful and sailed along smoothly he was precise direct and satisfied suddenly he began to make mistakes every day and I asked him what he was frightened of could it be an old childhood fear that was surfacing was there someone at work with whom he was angry or was he trying to get even with somebody did that person remind him of one of his parents had this happened in other jobs it seemed to me that he was creating some chaos at work because of an old belief system he recognized that it was an old family pattern where he was ridiculed every time he made a mistake I suggested that he forgive his family and affirm that he now has wonderful harmonious relationships at work where people totally respect him and appreciate everything he does when you think of your co-workers don&amp;#39;t think oh they&amp;#39;re so negative everybody has every quality in them so respond to the good qualities that are in them and respect their peacefulness instead when you can focus on these qualities they will rise to the surface if others are constantly saying negative things don&amp;#39;t pay attention you want to change your consciousness since they are reflecting something negative within you when your Consciousness really changes negative people won&amp;#39;t be around very much even if you feel frustrated start affirming what you want to have in your workspace then accept it with joy and Thanksgiving one woman had an opportunity at work to do what she loved and to grow from the experience however she would constantly get sick and sabotage herself she recalled that when she was a child she was always getting sick because it was her way of getting love and affection so she kept recreating the pattern of getting sick as an adult what she needed to learn was how to get love and affection in a more positive way when anything went wrong at work she went right back to being the five-year-old girl so when she began to take care of her little inner child she also learned to feel safe and to accept her power competition and comparison are two major stumbling blocks to your creativity your uniqueness sets you apart from all others there has never been another person like you since time began so what is there to compare or compete with comparison either makes you feel Superior or inferior which are expressions of your ego your limited mind thinking if you are going to compare to make yourself feel a little bit better then you are saying somebody else isn&amp;#39;t good enough if you put others down you may think you will raise yourself up what you really do is put yourself in a position to be criticized by others we all do this on some level and it&amp;#39;s good when we can transcend it becoming enlightened is to go within and Shine the Light upon yourself so that you can dissolve whatever darkness is in there I want to say again that everything changes and what was perfect for you once may not be anymore in order for you to keep changing and growing you keep going within and listening for that which is right for you in the Here and Now changing the way we do business for the past several years I&amp;#39;ve owned my own business my motto has been that we open the mail and answer the phone and handle what is in front of us and there is always plenty to do as we did this day by day the business Grew From a few people to well over 20 employees we established our business on spiritual principles using affirmations to open and close meetings we realize that many other businesses ran on competition often condemning others or greed and we did not want to put that energy out to others knowing that it would come back to us we decided that if we were going to live by the philosophy we were not going to operate under the old concepts of doing business if problems arose we would spend time affirming what we wanted to change we also had a soundproof screaming room where employees could let off steam without being heard or judged it was also a place where they could meditate or relax and we supplied it with plenty of tapes for people to listen to it became a safe haven in times of difficulty I remember a time when we were having many problems with our computer system and every day something would break down because I believe machines reflect our Consciousness I realized that many of us were sending negative energy to the computers and we were expecting them to constantly break down I had an affirmation programmed into the computer good morning how are you today I work well when I am loved and I love you in the morning when everyone turned on their computers that message would appear it&amp;#39;s amazing how we had no more problems with our computers sometimes we think of things that happen especially at work as disasters but we must look at them for what they are simply life experiences that always teach us something I know that I have never had a disaster that did not end up a good learning experience in the end often moving me to a much better level in life for instance recently my company Hay House was not doing so well like the economy our sales would go up and down and it appeared that sales were down and staying that way at least for the moment however we did not adjust to that and month after month we were spending more than we took in anyone who has owned a business knows that that is not the way to do it eventually it looked as if I would lose my business if I didn&amp;#39;t take some drastic measures those drastic measures included letting go of over half my staff you can imagine how difficult it was for me to do that I remember walking into the conference room where all my staff had gathered to deliver the news I was in tears but I knew it had to be done as difficult as it was for all of us I also trusted that my much-loved employees would soon find new and better jobs and almost all of them have some of them have even started their own businesses and are very successful at the darkest time I kept knowing and affirming that this experience would turn out to be for the highest good of all concerned of course everyone else assumed the worst rumors were flying that Hay House was Belly Up not just within the people I knew but all over the country our sales staff were surprised that so many business people even knew about our company let alone its Financial condition I have to admit that we took great joy in proving these forecasts Wrong by tightening our belts tremendously we didn&amp;#39;t go Belly Up with our smaller staff and each of us determined to make it work we&amp;#39;ve come through it very well but most importantly we have learned a lot in the meantime Hay House is now doing better than ever my staff is enjoying their work and I am enjoying my staff even though we are all working harder the interesting thing is that no one feels that they have too much work to do we are even getting more books out than we ever had and are attracting much more prosperity in all areas of Our Lives I believe that everything does work out for the best in the end but sometimes it is hard to see that while you were going through the experience think of a negative experience that may have happened to you in your work or in your past in general perhaps you were fired or maybe your spouse left you now go beyond it and take a look at the big picture didn&amp;#39;t many good things happen as a result of that experience I&amp;#39;ve heard so many times yes that was a horrible thing that happened to me but if it hadn&amp;#39;t I would never have met so-and-so or start my own business or admit that I had an addiction or learned to love myself by trusting the Divine intelligence to let us experience life in the way that is best for us we Empower ourselves to actually enjoy everything that life has to offer the good as well as the so-called bad try applying this to your work experiences and notice the changes that happen to you those who own or operate businesses can begin to function as an expression of divine intelligence it is important to keep the lines of communication open with employees and allow them to express their feelings about their work in a safe way make sure the offices are a neat and clean place to work here again clutter in an office reflects the consciousness of the people working there with all the physical clutter how can the mental or intellectual tasks be done well and on time you could adopt a statement of purpose that reflects the desired philosophy of your business at Hay House we feel our purpose is creating a world where it is safe for us to love each other when you allow Divine intelligence to operate in all aspects of business then everything flows on purpose and according to a divine plan the most wonderful opportunities will fall in your lap I see many businesses beginning to change there will come a time when business will not be able to survive using the old ways of competition and conflict one day we will all know that there is plenty for everyone and that we can bless and prosper each other companies can begin to shift their priorities and make it a great place for their workers to express themselves and have their products and services benefit the planet in general people who want to get more out of their work than just a paycheck they want to contribute to the world and feel fulfilled in the future the ability to do good on a global level will overshadow the Need for materialism chapter 13 the totality of possibilities each one of us is totally linked with the universe and with all of life the power is within us to expand the horizons of our consciousness now I want you to stretch even further if you have been on the pathway and doing work on yourself for some time does that mean you have nothing else to do are you really going to sit on your laurels and rest or do you realize that this inner work is a lifetime occupation and once you start you never really stop you can hit plateaus and take vacations but basically it&amp;#39;s a lifetime&amp;#39;s worth of work you may want to ask yourself what areas you still need to work on and what you need are you healthy are you happy are you prosperous are you creatively fulfilled do you feel safe do you feel secure are you loved limitations learned from the past there is an expression I love the totality of possibilities I learned it from one of my early teachers in New York Eric Pace it always gave me such a taking off place for letting my mind go beyond what I thought possible far beyond the limited beliefs I grew up with when I was young being a child I didn&amp;#39;t understand that the passing criticisms of grown-ups and friends were just the result of a bad day or a small disappointment and really weren&amp;#39;t true I accepted these thoughts and beliefs about myself willingly and they became part of my limitations I may not have looked awkward or dumb or silly but I sure felt it most of us create the ideas we believe about life by the time we are five years old we add a little bit more when we are teenagers and maybe a tiny bit more when we&amp;#39;re older but very little if I were to ask most people why they believe such and such on any subject and they trace it back they would discover that they made a certain decision about the subject by the time they were this young age so we often live in the limitations of our five-year-old consciousness it was something we accepted from our parents and we still live under the limitations of our parents consciousness even the most wonderful parents in the world didn&amp;#39;t know everything and had their own limitations we say what they said and do what they did you can&amp;#39;t do that or that won&amp;#39;t work however we don&amp;#39;t need limitations as important as they may seem some of our beliefs may be positive and nourishing these thoughts serve us very well all of our Lives such as look both ways before you cross the street or fresh fruits and vegetables are good for your body other thoughts may be useful at a young age but as we grow older they are no longer appropriate don&amp;#39;t trust strangers for instance may be good advice for a small child as adults to perpetuate this belief only creates isolation and loneliness the good news in all of this is that we can always make adjustments all the time the moment we say I can&amp;#39;t or it won&amp;#39;t work or there&amp;#39;s not enough money or what would the neighbors think we are limited this last expression is a significant obstacle for us what will the neighbors or my friends or co-workers or whoever think it&amp;#39;s a good excuse now we don&amp;#39;t have to do it because they wouldn&amp;#39;t do it and they wouldn&amp;#39;t approve as Society changes what the neighbors think changes also to hold on to this assumption doesn&amp;#39;t make sense if someone says to you nobody has ever done it this way before you can say so what there are hundreds of ways of doing something so do it the way that&amp;#39;s right for you we tell ourselves other absurd messages such as I&amp;#39;m not strong enough or I&amp;#39;m not young enough or I&amp;#39;m not old enough or I&amp;#39;m not tall enough or I&amp;#39;m not the right sex how often have you used the last one because I&amp;#39;m a woman I can&amp;#39;t do this or because I&amp;#39;m a man I can&amp;#39;t do that your soul has no sexuality I believe you agreed upon your sexuality before you were born to learn a spiritual lesson feel inferior because of sexuality is not only a poor excuse but also another way to relinquish your power our limitations often stop us from expressing and experiencing the totality of possibilities I don&amp;#39;t have the right education how many of us have let that one stop us we want to realize that education is something set up by groups of people who say you can&amp;#39;t do such and such unless you do it our way we can accept that as a limitation or we can go beyond it I accepted it for many many years because I was a high school dropout I used to say oh I don&amp;#39;t have any education I can&amp;#39;t think I can&amp;#39;t get a good job I can&amp;#39;t do anything well and then one day I realized that the limitation was all in my mind and had nothing to do with reality when I dropped my own limiting beliefs and I allowed myself to move into the totality of possibilities I discovered that I could think I discovered that I was very bright and I could communicate I discovered all sorts of possibilities which when viewed from the limitations of the past seemed impossible limiting the potential within us then there are some of you who think you know it all the trouble with knowing it all is that you don&amp;#39;t grow and nothing new can come in do you accept that there is a power and an intelligence greater than you or do you think that you are it you in your physical body if you think that you&amp;#39;re it then you will be running scared because of your limited mind if you realize that there is a power in this universe that is far greater and wiser and you are part of it then you can move into the space where the totality of possibilities can operate how often do you allow yourself to dwell in the limitations of your present consciousness every time you say I can&amp;#39;t you&amp;#39;re putting a stop sign in front of you you shut down the door to your own inner wisdom and you block the flow of energy that is your spiritual knowingness are you willing to go beyond what you believe today he woke up this morning with certain Concepts and ideas you have the ability to move Beyond some of them to experience a far greater reality it&amp;#39;s called learning because you are taking in something new it may fit in with what is already there or it may be even better have you ever noticed that when you start rearranging your closet you discard clothes and odds and ends that you no longer need you pile up the possessions you are giving away on one side and throw or give away the stuff that is no longer usable then you begin to put everything back and in a totally different order it&amp;#39;s easier to find what you&amp;#39;re looking for and at the same time you make room for new clothes if you bought a new outfit and put it in the old closet you may have had to jam it between other stuff if you clean out your closet and rearrange it then when you bring in the new outfit it has room for itself we need to do the same routine with our minds we need to clean out the contents that no longer work so we have room for new possibilities where God is all things are possible and God is in each one of us if we continue with our preconceived ideas then we are blocked when someone is ill do you say oh poor person how he or she must be suffering or do you look at the person and see the absolute truth of being and affirm the health of God that is within do you see the totality of possibilities and know that Miracles can happen a man I once met told me very emphatically that it was absolutely impossible for a grown person to change he was living in the desert and had all sorts of illnesses and he wanted to sell his property he didn&amp;#39;t want to change his thinking so he was very rigid when it came time to negotiate with a buyer it had to be done his way it was apparent that he would have a very burdensome time trying to sell his property because his belief was that he could never change all he had to do was open his Consciousness to a new way of thinking expanding our Horizons how do we keep ourselves from moving into this totality of possibilities what else limits us all our fears are limitations if you are frightened and you say I can&amp;#39;t it won&amp;#39;t work what will happen fearful experiences will come back judgments are limitations none of us like to be judged yet how often do we do it we are encouraging limitations by our judgments every time you find yourself judging or criticizing no matter how small remind yourself that what goes out comes back you may want to stop limiting your possibilities and change your thinking to something wonderful there is a difference between being judgmental and having an opinion many of you are asked for your opinion of something in actuality you are really giving your judgment an opinion is how you feel about something such as I prefer not to do this I prefer to wear red instead of blue to say someone else is wrong because she wears blue becomes a judgment we need to discern between the two remember criticism is always making yourself or someone else wrong if someone asks your opinion your preference don&amp;#39;t let it become a judgment or criticism against something else also every time you indulge in guilt you are setting a limitation if you hurt someone say you&amp;#39;re sorry and don&amp;#39;t hurt the person again don&amp;#39;t walk around feeling guilty because it keeps you locked out from experiencing your good and has nothing to do with the reality of your true being when you are unwilling to forgive you limit your growth forgiveness allows you to right or wrong in your spiritual self to have understanding instead of resentment to have compassion instead of hatred look at your problems as opportunities for you to grow when you have problems do you see only the restrictions of your limited mind thinking do you think oh poor me why did this happen to me you don&amp;#39;t always have to know how situations are going to work out you do need to trust the power and presence within which is far greater than you are you need to affirm that all is well and everything is working out for your highest good if you open yourself to the possibilities when you have problems you can make changes changes can happen in incredible ways perhaps ways you could not even imagine we&amp;#39;ve all been in situations in our lives where we&amp;#39;ve said I don&amp;#39;t know how I&amp;#39;ll work this out seemed like we were up against a brick wall and yet we are all here now and we&amp;#39;ve worked through whatever it was maybe we didn&amp;#39;t understand how it happened yet it did happen the more we can align ourselves with the cosmic energy the one intelligence the truth and power within us the quicker those wonderful possibilities can be realized group consciousness it is essential that we leave our limited thinking and beliefs behind and awaken our Consciousness to a more Cosmic view of life the development of higher Consciousness on this planet is happening at a rate far faster than ever before the other day I saw a graph that just fascinated me it showed the growth of various systems in our history and how they have changed the Agricultural Development was overshadowed by industrial growth and then around 1950 the informational phase took over as communication and computer operation became widespread alongside this informational period there is also a Consciousness raising movement graph that is shooting far ahead of the informational phase at an unchallenged rate of advancement can you imagine what it means I do a lot of traveling and wherever I go I see people who are studying and learning I&amp;#39;ve been to Australia Jerusalem Egypt London Paris Amsterdam and everywhere I go I meet large groups of people who are searching for ways to expand and Enlighten themselves they are fascinated by how their minds work and they are using their wisdom to take control of their lives and their experiences we are reaching new levels of spirituality although religious wars are still being fought they are becoming less and less prevalent we are beginning to connect with one another on higher levels of consciousness the collapse of the Berlin wall and the birth of freedom in Europe are examples of our expanding Consciousness as freedom is our natural Birthright as the consciousness of each person awakens group Consciousness becomes influenced as well every time you use your Consciousness in a positive way you are connecting with other people who are doing the same every time you use it in a negative way you are also connecting to that every time you meditate you are connecting with other people on the planet who are meditating every time you visualize good for yourself you do it for others as well every time you visualize the healing of your body you connect with others who are doing the same thing our goals are to expand our thinking and to go beyond what was to what might be our Consciousness can create miracles in the world the totality of possibilities connects everything including our universe and Beyond what are you connecting with prejudice is a form of fear if you&amp;#39;re prejudiced you are connecting with other prejudiced people if you open your Consciousness and do the best you can to work on a level of unconditional love then you connect with the Curve on the graph that is climbing upwards do you want to be left behind or do you want to go up with the Curve often there is a crisis in the world how many people send positive energy to the troubled area and do affirmations that everything works out as quickly as possible and there is a solution for the highest good of all concerned you need to use your Consciousness in a way that will create Harmony and plenty for all people what sort of energy are you sending instead of condemning and complaining you can connect with the power on the spiritual level and affirm the most positive results imaginable how far are you willing to expand the horizons of your thinking are you willing to go beyond your neighbors if your neighbors are limited make new friends how far will you stretch how willing are you to change I can&amp;#39;t to I can every time you hear that something is incurable knowing your mind that it isn&amp;#39;t true know that there is a power greater incurable to me means that the medical profession simply hasn&amp;#39;t yet figured out how to cure that particular illness it doesn&amp;#39;t mean that it&amp;#39;s not possible it means that we go within and find a cure we can go beyond statistics we are not numbers on a chart those are someone else&amp;#39;s projections somebody&amp;#39;s limited mind thinking if we don&amp;#39;t give ourselves possibilities we don&amp;#39;t give ourselves hope Dr Donald pachuto at the national AIDS conference in Washington D.C said that we have never had an epidemic ever that was a hundred percent fatal somewhere on this planet someone has been healed of every single dis-ease that we have been able to create if we just accept Doom and Gloom we are stuck we need to take a positive approach so we can find some answers we need to begin to use the power within us to heal ourselves we have other powers it is said that we only use 10 percent of our brain only 10 percent what is the purpose of the other 90 percent I think having psychic ability telepathy Clairvoyance or clairaudience are all normal and natural it&amp;#39;s just that we don&amp;#39;t allow ourselves to experience these phenomena we have all sorts of reasons why we don&amp;#39;t or why we don&amp;#39;t believe we can little children are often very psychic unfortunately parents immediately say don&amp;#39;t say that or that&amp;#39;s your imagination or don&amp;#39;t believe in that foolish nonsense the child inevitably turns off these abilities I think the mind is capable of remarkable things and I know for certain that I could go from New York to Los Angeles without a plane if I only knew how to dematerialize and re-materialize there I don&amp;#39;t know how yet but I know it is possible I think that we are capable of accomplishing incredible achievements but we haven&amp;#39;t the knowledge yet because we won&amp;#39;t use it for our good we will probably hurt others with the knowledge when we can get to the point where we really live in unconditional love then we can begin using the other ninety percent of our brains firewalking how many of you heard about fire walking whenever I ask this question at seminar several hands always go up and yet we all know that it is totally impossible to walk on hot coals right nobody can do it without burning their feet yet people have done it and they aren&amp;#39;t extraordinary people they are people like you and me and they probably learned it in one evening by attending a fire walking Workshop I have a friend Darby long who works with Dr Carl Simington the cancer specialist they do a week-long workshop for people with cancer and during the week they have a fire walking demonstration Darby has done it herself many times and has even carried people across the hot coals I always think how incredible it must be for people with cancer to see and experience such a process it probably blows a lot of people&amp;#39;s minds their Concepts about limitation would somehow be different afterwards I believe Tony Robbins the young man who started firewalking in this country is here to do something really extraordinary on the planet he studied NLP neuro-linguistic programming a process whereby he could observe someone&amp;#39;s patterns of behavior and then repeat that person&amp;#39;s responses and cues of behavior to achieve similar results NLP is based on the hypnotic techniques of Milton Erickson which were systematically observed and recorded by John grindler and Richard bandler when Tony heard about fire walking he wanted to learn it and in turn teach it to others he was told by a yogi that it would take years of study in meditation however using NLP Tony learned it within a few hours he knew that if he could do it anyone could do it he has been teaching people how to walk on colds not because it&amp;#39;s a wonderful parlor trick but because it shows them how to go beyond their limitations and fears everything is possible repeat with me I live and dwell in the totality of possibilities where I am there is all good think about these words for a minute all good not some not a little bit but all good when you believe that anything is possible you open yourself up to answers in every area of your life where we are is the totality of possibilities it is always up to us individually and collectively we either have walls around us or we take them down and feel safe enough to be totally open to allow all good to come into our lives begin to observe yourself notice what is going on inside you how you feel how you react what you believe and allow yourself to observe without comment or judgment when you can you will live your life from the totality of possibilities part five letting go of the past planet is becoming conscious as a whole it is becoming self-conscious chapter 14 change and transition some people would rather leave the planet than change is usually what we want the other person to do isn&amp;#39;t it when I speak about the other person I want to include the government big business the boss or co-worker the Internal Revenue Service foreigners the school husband wife mother father children Etc anyone other than ourselves we don&amp;#39;t want to change but we want everyone else to change so our lives will be different and yet of course any changes that we are going to make it all have to come from within ourselves change means that we free ourselves from feelings of isolation separation loneliness anger fear and pain we create lives filled with wonderful peacefulness where we can relax and enjoy life as it comes to us where we know that everything will be all right I like to use the premise that life is wonderful all is perfect in my world and I always move into greater good in that way it doesn&amp;#39;t matter to me which direction my life takes because I know it&amp;#39;s going to be wonderful therefore I can enjoy all sorts of situations and circumstances someone at one of my lectures was going through a lot of turmoil and the word pain kept coming up in the conversation she asked me if there was another word she could use and I thought about the time I&amp;#39;d smashed my finger by slamming a window on it I knew if I gave into the pain I was going to go through a very difficult period so when it happened I started to do some mental work right away and referred to my finger as having a lot of sensation by viewing what happened in that particular way I think it helped to heal the finger much more quickly and to handle what could have been a very unpleasant experience sometimes if we can alter our thinking a little bit we can completely change a situation can you think of change as an inner house cleaning if you do a little bit at a time it will eventually all get done you don&amp;#39;t have to do it all however before you begin to see results if you change just a little bit you&amp;#39;ll begin to feel better soon I was at the Reverend OC Smith City of Angels science of mine Church on New Year&amp;#39;s Day and he said something that made me think he said it&amp;#39;s the new year but you&amp;#39;ve got to realize that the new year is not going to change you just because it&amp;#39;s a new year it&amp;#39;s not going to make any difference in your life the only way there&amp;#39;s going to be a change is if you are willing to go within and make the change and that&amp;#39;s so true people make all sorts of New Year&amp;#39;s resolutions but because they don&amp;#39;t make any internal changes the resolutions Fall Away very quickly I&amp;#39;m not going to smoke another cigarette or whatever someone says and right away it&amp;#39;s put in a negative phrase rather than one that will tell the subconscious mind what to do in this situation you could say instead all desire for cigarettes has left me and I am free until we make the inner changes until we are willing to do the mental work nothing outside of us is going to change yet the interchanges can be so incredibly simple because the only thing we really need to change is our thoughts what can you do for yourself this year that you didn&amp;#39;t do last year that could be positive take a moment and think about this question what would you like to let go of this year that you clung to so tightly last year what would you like to change in your life and are you willing to do it there is a lot of information available that will give you ideas once you are willing to change the moment you are willing to change it is remarkable How the Universe begins to help you it brings you what you need it could be a book a tape a teacher or even a friend making a passing remark that suddenly has deep meaning to you sometimes conditions will get worse before they get better and that&amp;#39;s okay because the process is beginning the old threads are untangling so flow with it don&amp;#39;t panic and think it&amp;#39;s not working just keep working with your affirmations and the new beliefs you are planting making progress of course from the moment you decide to make a change until you get the demonstration there is a transitional period you vacillate between the old and the new you go back and forth between what was and what you would like to be or have it is a normal and natural process often I hear people saying well I know all this stuff and my answer is are you doing it knowing what to do and doing it are two separate steps it takes time until you are strong in the new and have gone the complete shift until then you must be consistent in your efforts to change for instance many people say their affirmations maybe three times and give up then they say that affirmations don&amp;#39;t work or they&amp;#39;re silly or whatever we want to give ourselves time to practice to make the changes change requires action as I said it&amp;#39;s what you do after you say your affirmations that counts the most as you go through this transitional phase remember to praise yourself for each small step forward that you make if you beat yourself up for the step backward then change becomes oppressive use all the tools available to you as you move from the old to the new assure the little child inside that he or she is safe author Gerald jumpolski says that love is letting go of fear and that there is either fear or there is love if we are not coming from the loving space of the heart then we&amp;#39;re in fear and all those states such as isolation separation anger guilt and loneliness are part of the fear syndrome we want to move from Fear into love and make love a more permanent position for us there are many ways to change what do you do on a daily basis to make yourself feel good inside you&amp;#39;re not going to do it by blaming other people or by being a victim so what is it that you do how are you experiencing peace within you and around you if you are not doing it now are you willing to begin are you willing to start creating Inner Harmony and peace another question to ask yourself is do I really want to change do you want to continue to complain about what you don&amp;#39;t have in your life or do you want to really create a much more wonderful life than you have now if you are willing to change you can if you are willing to do the work involved then you can change your life for the better I have no power over you and I can&amp;#39;t do it for you you have the power and you need to keep reminding yourself of that remember maintaining inner peace will help us connect with like-minded peaceful people all over the world spirituality connects us all over this planet on a soul level and the sense of cosmic spirituality that we are just beginning to experience is going to change the world for the better when I speak of spirituality I don&amp;#39;t necessarily mean religion religions tell us who to love and how to love and who is Worthy to me we are all worthy of love and we are all lovable our spirituality is our direct connection with our higher source and we don&amp;#39;t need a middle man for that begin to see that spirituality can connect us all all over the planet on a very deep soul level several times during the day you might stop and ask yourself what kind of people am I connecting with now ask yourself periodically what do I really believe about this condition or situation and think about it ask what do I feel do I really want to do what these people are asking of me why am I doing this start to examine your thoughts and feelings be honest with yourself find out what you are thinking and believing don&amp;#39;t go on automatic pilot living your life by routine this is the way I am and this is what I do know why do you do it if it isn&amp;#39;t a positive nourishing experience figure out where it came from when did you first do it you know what to do now connect to the intelligence within you stress is another word for fear we talk a lot about stress these days everybody seems to be stressed out about something stress seems to be a buzzword and we use it to the point where I think it&amp;#39;s a cop-out I&amp;#39;m so stressed out or this is so stressful or all is stress stress stress stress to me is a fearful reaction to Life&amp;#39;s constant changes it is an excuse we use for not taking responsibility for our feelings if we can equate the word stress with the word fear then we can begin to eliminate the need for fear in our lives the next time you think about how stressed you are ask yourself what is scaring you ask how am I overloading or burdening myself why am I giving my power away find out what you are doing to yourself that is creating this fear within you that keeps you from achieving Inner Harmony and peace stress is not Inner Harmony Inner Harmony is being at peace within yourself it&amp;#39;s not possible to have stress and Inner Harmony at the same time when you&amp;#39;re at peace you do things one at a time you don&amp;#39;t let things get to you when you feel stressed breathe and do something to release the fear so you can move through life feeling safe don&amp;#39;t use the word stress as a cop-out don&amp;#39;t give a little word like stress a lot of power nothing has any power over you you are always safe life is a series of doors closing and opening we walk from room to room having different experiences many of us would like to close some doors on Old negative patterns old blocks situations that are no longer nourishing or useful to ourselves many of us are in the process of opening new doors and finding wonderful new experiences I think that we come to this planet many many times and we come to learn different lessons it&amp;#39;s like coming to school before we incarnate at any particular time on the planet we decide the lesson we are going to learn so that we can evolve spiritually once we choose our lesson we choose all the circumstances and situations that will enable us to learn the lesson including our parents sexuality place of birth and race if you&amp;#39;ve gotten this far in your life believe me you&amp;#39;ve made all the right choices for you as you go through life it is essential to remind yourself that you are safe it is only change trust your higher self to lead you and guide you in ways that are best for your spiritual growth as Joseph Campbell once said follow your bliss see yourself opening doors to joy peace healing prosperity and love doors to understanding compassion forgiveness and freedom doors to self-worth self-esteem and self-love you are eternal you will go on forever from experience to experience even when you pass through the last doorway on this planet it is not the end it is the beginning of another new adventure ultimately you cannot force anyone to change you can offer them a positive mental atmosphere where they have the possibility to change if they wish however you cannot do it four or two other people each person is here to work out his or her own lessons and if you fix it for them then they will eventually have to do it again because they haven&amp;#39;t learned for themselves they haven&amp;#39;t worked out what they needed to do love your sisters and brothers allow them to be who they are know that the truth is always within them and they can change at any moment that they want after 15. a world where it&amp;#39;s safe to love each other we can either destroy the planet or we can heal it send some loving healing energy to the planet every day what we do with our minds makes a difference the planet is very much in a period of change and transition we are going from an old order to a New Order and some people say it began with the Aquarian age at least the astrologers like to describe it that way to me astrology numerology palmistry tarot cards and all those methods of psychic phenomena are merely ways of describing life they explain life to us in slightly different ways so the astrologers say that we are moving out of the piscean age and into the Aquarian age during the pi cnh we look to other people to save us we looked for other people to do it for us in the Aquarian age which we are now entering people are beginning to go within acknowledging that they have the ability to save themselves isn&amp;#39;t it wonderfully liberating to be able to change what we don&amp;#39;t like actually I&amp;#39;m not so sure that the planet is changing as much as we are becoming more conscious and aware conditions that were brewing for a long time are coming to the surface such as family dysfunction child abuse and our endangered planet as with everything else first we must become aware in order to make changes in the same way that we do our mental house cleaning so that we can change we are doing the same thing with Mother Earth we are beginning to see our Earth as a whole living breathing organism an entity a being unto itself it breathes it has a heartbeat it takes care of its children it provides everything here that we could possibly need it&amp;#39;s totally balanced if you spend a day in the forest or somewhere in nature you can see how all the systems on the planet work perfectly it&amp;#39;s set up to live out its existence in absolute perfect equilibrium and harmony so here we are great mankind who knows so much and we are doing our very best to destroy the planet by disrupting this balance and harmony our greed gets in the way to an enormous extent we think we know best and through ignorance and greed we are destroying the living breathing organism of which we are apart if we destroy Earth where are we going to live I know that when I talk to people about caring more for the planet they become overwhelmed by the problems we are encountering now it seems that just one person doing something will not affect anything in the entire scheme of things but that is not so if everyone did a little it would wind up being a lot you may not be able to see the effects right in front of you but believe me mother earth feels it collectively we have a little table set up to sell books at my AIDS support group recently we ran out of bags to put products in so I thought I would start saving the bags I received when I was out shopping at first I thought oh you don&amp;#39;t have that many bags by the end of the week but boy was I mistaken I had bags coming out of my ears one of my workers experienced the same thing he said he had no idea how many bags a week he used until he started saving them and when you put that in terms of Mother Earth that&amp;#39;s quite a few trees were cutting down just to use for one or two hours because we usually end up by throwing the bags away if you don&amp;#39;t believe me just try it for one week save all the bags you receive and just be aware of how many you use I now have a cloth shopping bag that I use and if I&amp;#39;m shopping and have forgotten to bring it I ask for a big bag and as I shop at other stores I put my merchandise in one bag instead of collecting several no one has ever looked at me twice for doing it it just seems so sensible in Europe they&amp;#39;ve been using cloth shopping bags for a long time a friend of mine from England visited and loved to go shopping at the supermarkets here because he wanted to carry the paper bags home he thought they were very American and very chic it may be a cute tradition but the truth is we want to start thinking globally and consider the effects that these little Traditions have on our environment Americans particularly have a thing about the packaging of products when I was in Mexico a few years ago I visited a traditional Marketplace and was fascinated by the unvarnished fruits and vegetables that were laid out they certainly weren&amp;#39;t as pretty as the ones we have in the States but they look natural and healthy to me however some of the people I was with thought they looked terrible and unappealing in another part of the market there were open bins with powdered spices in it again it fascinated me because all the bins next to each other looked so bright and colorful my friend said that they would never buy any spices from an open bin like that and I asked why and they said because it wasn&amp;#39;t clean when I asked why again the answer came back that it wasn&amp;#39;t in a package and I had to laugh where did they think the spices were before they were put in a package we have become so used to having things presented to us in a certain way that it&amp;#39;s hard to accept it if we don&amp;#39;t have all the Frills and pretty packaging attached to it let&amp;#39;s be willing to see where we can make small adjustments for the sake of the environment even if all you do is buy a cloth shopping bag or turn the water tap off while you brush your teeth you have contributed something by doing it at my office we can serve as much as possible there&amp;#39;s a maintenance man in our building who picks up our recyclable copy paper every week and takes it to the recycling plant we use padded envelopes over again we use recycled paper in our books whenever possible even though it costs a little more sometimes it isn&amp;#39;t possible to get it but we always ask for it anyway as we realize that if we continue to ask for it eventually enough printers will have it available it works that way in all areas of conservation by creating a demand for something we can help heal the planet in different ways as a collective power at home I do organic gardening and make compost for the garden every piece of used vegetation goes into that compost pile not a lettuce leaf or a leaf from a tree leaves my property I believe in returning to the land what is taken away I have a few friends who even save their vegetable trimmings for me they put them into a bag in the freezer and when they visit they put their collection into my compost bin what goes in is trash comes out as Rich Earth filled with nourishment for plants because of my recycling practices my garden produces lavishly for all my needs and is beautiful too eat nourishing foods our planet is designed to give us every single thing we need to take care of ourselves it has all the food we need if we eat the foods of the planet we are going to be healthy because it is part of the natural design however we in our great intelligence have designed foods such as Twinkies and we wonder why our health Isn&amp;#39;t So Good a lot of us give lip service to diets we say yes we know as we reach for one sugar-filled treat after another two generations ago when Betty Crocker or Clarence bird&amp;#39;s eye or whomever came out with the first convenience type food we said oh isn&amp;#39;t this wonderful and then came another and another and another until Generations later there are people in this country now who have never tasted real food everything is canned processed Frozen chemicalized and ultimately microwaved I recently read that the young people in the military today do not have the healthy immune systems that young people had 20 years ago if we don&amp;#39;t give our body natural foods which it needs to build and repair itself how can we expect it to last a lifetime and add to this drugs and cigarettes and alcohol abuse a dose of self-hatred and you have the perfect climate for dis-ease to flourish I had a very interesting experience recently I took something called a responsible drivers course it was filled with people over 55 years of age who were there ostensibly to get three to ten percent off their Auto Insurance I really found it fascinating that we spent the whole morning talking about illness all the illnesses we could look forward to As We Grew Older we talked about diseases of the eyes and everything that could go wrong with our ears and our hearts when lunchtime came 90 percent of these same people ran across the street to the nearest fast food restaurant I thought to myself we still don&amp;#39;t get it do we one thousand people a day die from smoking that&amp;#39;s 365 000 people a year I understand that over five hundred thousand people die from cancer each year a million people die from heart attacks every year a million people knowing this why do we still run out to fast food restaurants and pay so little attention to our bodies healing ourselves and our planet part of the Catalyst for this transitional period is the crisis of AIDS the AIDS crisis is showing us how unloving and Prejudiced we are towards each other we treat people with AIDS with such little compassion one of the things that I would really like to see happen on this planet and I want to help create is a world where it is safe for us to love each other when we were little we wanted to be loved for who we were even if we were too skinny or too fat too ugly or too shy we come to this planet to learn unconditional love first to have it for ourselves and then to give the same unconditional love to other people we need to get rid of this idea of them and us there is no them in US there is only us there are no groups that are expendable or less than every one of us has a list of those people over there we can&amp;#39;t really be spiritual as long as there is one person over there many of us grew up in families where Prejudice was normal and natural this group or that group was not good enough in order to make ourselves feel better we would put the other group down however as long as we are saying that someone else isn&amp;#39;t good enough what we&amp;#39;re really reflecting is that we&amp;#39;re not good enough remember we&amp;#39;re all mirrors of each other I remember when I was invited to the Oprah Winfrey Show I appeared on TV with five people with AIDS who were doing quite well the six of us had met the evening before for dinner and it was such an incredibly powerful Gathering when we sat down to have dinner the energy was extraordinary I started to cry because this was something I had been striving for for several years to get a positive message out to the American public that there is hope these people were healing themselves and it wasn&amp;#39;t easy the medical community told them that they were going to die they had to experiment with many different methods by trial and error and they were willing to expand and go beyond their own limitations we taped the next day and it was a beautiful show I was pleased that women with AIDS were also represented on the show I wanted Middle America to open their hearts and to realize that aids doesn&amp;#39;t only affect a group that they don&amp;#39;t care about it affects everybody when I came out Oprah said to me off camera Louise Louise Louise and came to me and gave me a big hug I believe we relayed the message of hope that day I&amp;#39;ve heard Dr Bernie Siegel say that there was someone who has healed his or herself of every form of cancer so there is always hope and hope gives us possibilities there is something to work towards instead of throwing up our hands and saying there&amp;#39;s nothing that can be done the AIDS virus is just doing its thing being what it is it breaks my heart to realize that there will be more and more heterosexual people who are going to die from AIDS because the government and the medical profession are not moving fast enough as long as AIDS is perceived as a gay disease it will not receive the attention it urgently needs so how many straight people will have to die before it&amp;#39;s considered a legitimate illness I think the faster we all put away our prejudices and work for a positive solution to this crisis the faster the whole planet will heal however we can&amp;#39;t heal the planet if we allow people to suffer to me AIDS is very much a part of the pollution of the planet do you realize that Dolphins off the coast of California are dying of immune deficiency diseases and I don&amp;#39;t believe it&amp;#39;s because of their sexual practices we&amp;#39;ve been polluting our land so that a lot of the vegetation is unfit to eat we are killing the fish in our Waters we are polluting our air so now there is acid rain and a hole in the ozone layer and we continue polluting our bodies AIDS is a terrible terrible dis-ease yet the numbers of people who are dying from AIDS are far fewer than those who are dying from cancer smoking and heart disease we search for ever more potent poisons to kill the diseases we create yet we can&amp;#39;t change our lifestyles and diets we either want some drug to suppress our illness or we want to surgically remove it rather than to heal it the more we suppress the more that problems manifest in other ways it&amp;#39;s even more incredible to learn that medicine and surgery only take care of 10 percent of all dis-ease that&amp;#39;s right even with all the money we spend on chemicals radiation and surgery they only help 10 percent of our diseases I read an article that said that the diseases in The Next Century will be caused by new strains of bacteria that will affect our weakened immune systems these bacteria strains have begun to mutate so that the drugs we have now will have no effect on them obviously the more we build up our immune systems the quicker we are going to heal ourselves and the planet and I&amp;#39;m not only referring to our physical immune systems I mean our mental and emotional immune systems as well to me healing and curing bring about two different results I think healing needs to be a team effort if you expect your doctor to fix you he or she may take care of the symptoms however that doesn&amp;#39;t heal the problem healing is making yourself whole to be healed you must be a part of the team you and your doctor or health care professional there are many holistic MDS who not only treat you physically but who see you as a whole person we have been living with erroneous belief systems not only individual ones but societal ones as well there are people who say that earaches run in their family others believe that when they go out in the rain they catch cold or they get three colds every winter or when someone catches a cold in the office everyone gets a cold because it&amp;#39;s contagious contagious is an idea and the idea is contagious a lot of people talk about dis-ease being hereditary I don&amp;#39;t think that&amp;#39;s necessarily so I think that what we pick up are the mental patterns of our parents children are very aware they begin to imitate their parents even their illnesses if a father tightens his colon every time he feels angry the child picks up on that it&amp;#39;s no wonder that when the father gets colitis years later the child gets colitis too everyone knows that cancer is not contagious yet why does it run in families because the patterns of resentment run in families resentment builds and bills until finally there is cancer we must allow ourselves to be aware of everything so that we can make conscious intelligent choices some things may horrify us which is part of the Awakening process but then we can do something about them everything in the universe from child abuse and AIDS to the homeless situation and starvation needs our love a tiny child who is loved and appreciated will become a strong self-assured adult the planet which has everything here for us in all of life if we allow it to be itself will take care of us always let&amp;#39;s not think about our past limitations let&amp;#39;s open ourselves to the potential of this incredible decade we can make these final 10 years of the century a time of healing we have the power within us to clean up clean our bodies Our emotions and all the various messes we have made we can look around and see what needs care the way each of us chooses to live will have a tremendous impact on our future and on our world for the highest good of all you can take this time to apply your personal growth methods to the entire planet if you just do things for the planet and not for yourself then you&amp;#39;re not in balance if you only work for yourself and stop there then that&amp;#39;s not balanced either so let&amp;#39;s see how we can begin to balance ourselves and the environment we know that our thoughts shape and create our lives we don&amp;#39;t always live the philosophy totally nonetheless we&amp;#39;ve accepted the basic premise if we want to change our immediate world we must change our thinking if we want to change the greater world around us we need to change our thinking about it not viewing it as them and us if all the effort you put out in complaining about what&amp;#39;s wrong with the world is applied to positive affirmations and visualizations of the world you could really help to turn things around remember every time you use your mind you are connecting to like-minded people if you inflict judgment criticism and Prejudice on others you are connecting to all the other people who are doing the same however if you are meditating visualizing peace loving yourself and loving the planet you are connecting with these kinds of people you could be at home bedridden and still help to heal the planet by the way you use your mind by practicing inner peace I heard Robert Schuler of the United Nations once say the human species needs to know that we deserve to have peace how true these words are if we can make our young people aware of what is happening in the world and give them options as to what they can do about it then we can really begin to see a shift in consciousness teaching our children early about conservation efforts is one way to reassure them that important work is being done even though some adults still won&amp;#39;t take responsibility for what is going on in the world around them we can assure our children that more and more people throughout the world are becoming aware of the long-term effects of global pollution and are striving to change the situation becoming involved as a family in an ecological Foundation such as Greenpeace or Earth save is wonderful as it is never too soon to impress upon children that we all have to accept responsibility for the good of our planet I recommend that you read John Robin&amp;#39;s book diet for a new America I find it so interesting that John Robbins heir to the Baskin-Robbins ice cream business is doing his best to help create a holistic and peaceful planet it&amp;#39;s wonderful to know that some of the children of people who exploit the health of the nation turn around and do things to help the planet volunteer groups are also helping to take over whether government is falling short if the government won&amp;#39;t help heal our environment we can&amp;#39;t sit around and wait we have to get together on a Grassroots level and take care of it we can all do our part start to find out where you can help volunteer where you can give one hour a month if you can&amp;#39;t do anything else we are definitely on The Cutting Edge of the forces that are going to help heal this planet we are at a point right now where we can all go down the tubes or we can heal the planet it isn&amp;#39;t up to them it&amp;#39;s up to us individually and collectively I see more and more opportunities for a blending of the scientific Technologies of the past and the future with the spiritual truths of yesterday today and tomorrow it is time these elements come together by understanding that acts of violence come from a person who is a traumatized child we could combine our knowledge and Technologies to help them heal and change we only perpetrate Violence by starting Wars or throwing people in prisons and forgetting them instead we want to encourage self-awareness self-esteem and self-love the tools for transformation are available we just have to use them Lazarus has a wonderful exercise that I would like to share with you pick a spot on the planet it could be anywhere very far away or just around the corner some place on the planet that you would like to help heal Envision that place as peaceful with people well fed and clothed and living in safety and peace take a moment every day and envision it put your love to work to help heal the planet you are important by sharing your love and all the Magnificent gifts within you you will begin to change the energy on this beautiful blue-green fragile planet that we call our home and so it is afterward I remember when I couldn&amp;#39;t sing very well at all I still don&amp;#39;t sing very well but I&amp;#39;m much more Brave I lead people in song at the end of my workshops and support groups perhaps one day I will take some lessons and learn however I haven&amp;#39;t gotten around to it yet at one event I began to lead everyone in song and the man in charge of the sound system turned off my microphone Joseph vatimo my assistant said what are you doing and the other man said she&amp;#39;s singing off key it was so terribly embarrassing now it really doesn&amp;#39;t matter anymore I just sing my heart out and it seems to open up a little bit more I&amp;#39;ve had some extraordinary experiences in my life and the one that has opened my heart on a very deep level has been working with people with AIDS I can hug people now who a few years ago I couldn&amp;#39;t even look at I&amp;#39;ve gone beyond a lot of my own personal limitations in reward for that I have found so much love Wherever I Go people give me tremendous amounts of love in October 1987 Joseph and I went to Washington D.C to March for governmental help for AIDS I don&amp;#39;t know how many are aware of the AIDS quilt it&amp;#39;s rather incredible many many people from around the country got together and made quilt patches to commemorate someone who has died from AIDS these patches are made with so much love and put together with Patches from all over the world to make an enormous quilt when we were in Washington the patches were put into sections and displayed between the Washington and Lincoln monuments at six o&amp;#39;clock in the morning we began to read the names of the people on the quilt as we did people would unfold the patch and put it in place next to the others it was a very emotional time as you can imagine people were crying everywhere I was standing with my list waiting to read when I felt this tap on my shoulder I could hear someone say could I ask you a question please and I turned around and the young man standing behind me looked at the badge with my name on it and shouted Louise Hay oh my God and he went into absolute hysteria and flung himself in my arms we held each other and he just sobbed and sobbed finally when he could contain himself he told me that his lover had read my book many times and when he was about to leave the planet his lover had asked him to read a treatment for my book he read it slowly as his lover read the lines with him and the very last words his lover said were all is well and he died so here was I right in front of him he was extremely touched when he could compose himself enough I said but what did you want to ask me it seems that he had not been able to complete his Lover&amp;#39;s patch on time and he wanted me to add his lover&amp;#39;s name to my list he just happened to pick me I remember this moment very well because it showed me that life is really very simple and the things that are important are also simple and everything falls into place I want to share a quote with you from Emmett Fox if you don&amp;#39;t know Emmett Fox he was a very popular teacher in the 40s and 50s and early 60s and one of the clearest teachers I know he has written some beautiful books and these are some of my favorite words of his there is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer there is no dis-ease that enough love will not heal no door that enough love will not open no golf that enough love will not Bridge no wall that enough love will not throw down and no sin that enough love will not redeem it makes no difference How Deeply seated may be the trouble how hopeless the Outlook how muddled the tangle how great the mistake a sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all and if you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful person in the world it&amp;#39;s true you know it sounds wonderful and it is true what do you need to do to get to that space where you could be the happiest and most powerful person in the world I think Inner Space travel is just beginning we are just beginning to learn about the power that we have inside us we are not going to find it if we contract the more we can open to ourselves the more we are going to find the universal energies available to assist us there are incredible accomplishments that we are capable of take a few deep breaths open your chest and give your heart room to expand keep practicing and sooner or later the barriers will begin to drop today is your beginning point and so it is appendix a meditations for personal and planetary healing acknowledge yourself for being centered when there is incredible chaos around you acknowledge yourself for being courageous and for doing so much more than you thought you could the healing work we do at the end of our workshops and support groups is very powerful we usually break into groups of three and do a form of laying on of hands for each other it is a wonderful way to accept energy and also share energy with many people who are reluctant in one way or another to ask for help often profound experiences occur I would like to share some of the meditations we do at our healing circles it would be wonderful if we did them on an ongoing basis either by ourselves or in groups see your inner child in any way that you can and notice how it looks and feels Comfort your child apologize to it tell it how sorry you are for forsaking it you have been away for so long and you are now willing to make it up Promise This Little Child that you will never ever leave them again any time it wants it can reach out and touch you and you will be there if it is scared you will hold it if it is angry it is okay to express the anger tell it you love it very much you have the power to help create the kind of world that you want you and your child to live in you have the power of your mind and your thoughts see yourself creating a Wonderful World see your child relaxed and safe peaceful laughing happy playing with friends Running Free touching a flower hugging a tree picking a piece of fruit and eating it with delight playing with a puppy or a kitten swinging high above the trees laughing with joy and running up to you and giving you a big hug see the two of you healthy and living in a beautiful safe place having wonderful relationships with your parents friends and co-workers being greeted with joy wherever you go having a special kind of love see where you want to live and what you want to work at and see yourselves as healthy very healthy joyous and free and so it is your healing light light look deep within the center of your heart and find that tiny little pinpoint of brilliantly colored light it is such a beautiful color it is the very center of your love and healing energy watch the little pinpoint of light begin to pulsate and as it pulsates it grows until it fills your heart see this light moving through your body from the top of your head to the tip of your toes and the tip of your fingers you are absolutely glowing with this beautiful colored light It Is Your Love and your healing energy let your whole body vibrate with this light you can say to yourself with every breath I take I am getting healthier and healthier feel this light cleansing your body of dis-ease and allowing normal vibrant Health to return to oh let this light begin to radiate out from you in all directions let your healing energy everyone whom you know needs it what a privilege it is to share your love and light and healing energy thank you with those who are in need of healing Let Your Light move into hospitals and nursing homes and orphanages and prisons Mental Hospitals and other institutions of despair let it bring home Enlightenment and peace let it move into every home in the city in which you live where there is pain and suffering let your love and light and healing energy bring Comfort to those in need let it move into the churches and soften the hearts of those involved so that they can operate with unconditional love let the beautiful light that comes from your heart move into the capital and government buildings bringing Enlightenment and the message of Truth let it move into every capital in every government select one place on the planet as a place that you would like to help heal and concentrate your light on that place it may be very far away or it may be around the corner concentrate your love and light and your healing energy on this place and see it come into balance and harmony see it at home take a moment every day to send your love and light and healing energy to this particular place on the planet we are the people we are the children we are the world we are the future what we give out comes back to us multiplied give your love and so it is foreign [Music] receiving prosperity let&amp;#39;s realize some positive qualities for ourselves we are open and receptive to wonderful new ideas we allow prosperity to enter into our lives on a level that it has never entered before we deserve the best we are willing to accept the best our income is constantly increasing we move away from poverty thinking into Prosperity thinking we love ourselves we rejoice in Who We Are and we know that life is here for us and will supply us with everything that we need we move from success to success from Joy To Joy and from abundance to abundance we are one with the power that created us we express for ourselves the greatness that we are we are Divine magnificent impressions of life and we are open and receptive to all good and so it is foreign [Music] welcome the child put your hand over your heart close your eyes allow yourself not only to see your inner child but to be that child and let my voice be your family as I say to you we&amp;#39;re so glad you came we&amp;#39;ve been waiting for you we wanted you so much to be part of our family you&amp;#39;re so important to us we&amp;#39;re so glad you&amp;#39;re a little boy we&amp;#39;re so glad you&amp;#39;re a little girl we love your uniqueness and your specialness the family wouldn&amp;#39;t be the same without you we love you we want to hold you we want to help you grow up to be all that you can be you don&amp;#39;t have to be like us you can be yourself you&amp;#39;re so beautiful you&amp;#39;re so bright you&amp;#39;re so creative it gives us such a pleasure to have you here we love you more than anything in the whole world we thank you for choosing our family we know you&amp;#39;re blessed you have blessed us by coming we love you we really love you thank you let your little child make these words true for it be aware that every day you can hold yourself and say these words you can look in the mirror and say these words you can hold a friend and say these words tell yourself all the things you wanted your parents to tell you your little child needs to feel wanted and loved give that to your child no matter how old you are or how sick or how scared your little child needs to be wanted and loved keep telling your child I want you and I love you it is the truth for you [Music] the universe wants you here and that&amp;#39;s why you are here you&amp;#39;ve always been loved and will always be love throughout eternity you can live happily ever after [Music] and so it is um foreign [Music] love is healing love is the most powerful healing Force there is I open myself to love I am willing to love and to be loved I see myself Prosper I see myself healthy I see myself creatively fulfilled and I live in peace and safety send everyone you know thoughts of comfort and acceptance and support and love be aware that as you send these thoughts out you also receive them back envelop your family in a circle of Love whether they are living or not include your friends the people at work and everyone from your past and all the people you would like to forgive but don&amp;#39;t know how send love to everyone with AIDS and cats and to the Friends and Lovers hospice workers doctors nurses alternative therapists and caretakers let&amp;#39;s see an end to AIDS and cancer and other terminal illness in your mind&amp;#39;s eye see a headline that reads cure for cancer found cure for AIDS found good put yourself in this Circle of Love forgive yourself [Music] affirm that you have wonderful harmonious relationships with your parents where there is mutual respect and carrying on both sides Let The Circle of Love envelop the entire planet and let your heart open so you can find that space within you where there is unconditional love see everyone living with dignity and in peace and joy you are worth loving you are beautiful you are powerful you open yourself to all good and so it is [Music] foreign we are free to be ourselves in order to be whole we must accept all of ourselves so let your heart up and make plenty of room in there for all the parts of yourself the parts that you are proud of and the parts that embarrass you the parts you reject they are all of you we all are when your heart is full of love for yourself then you have so much to share with others let this love now fill your room and permeate out to all the people that you know put the people you want in the center of your womb so that they can receive the love from your overflowing heart from your child to theirs now see all the children and all the people dancing as children dance skipping and shouting and turning somersaults and cardboards filled with exuberant Joy expressing all the best of the child with them and let your child go and play with the other children let your child dance let your child feel safe and free let your child be all that it ever wanted to be whole and complete all is well in your wonderful world and so it is foreign foreign [Music] [Music] [Applause] see yourself standing in a very safe space release your burdens and pains and fears old negative addictions and patterns see them falling away from you then see yourself standing in your safe place With Your Arms Wide Open saying I am open and receptive too declaring for yourself what it is you want not what you don&amp;#39;t want but what you do want and know that it is possible see yourself whole and healthy peace see yourself filled with love all we need change our lives on this planet we can be in a circle of hate or we can be in a circle of love and healing I choose to be in a circle of love I realize that everyone wants the same things I want we want to express ourselves creatively in ways that are fulfilling we want to be peaceful and safe and in this space feel your connection with other people in the world let the love in you go from heart to heart and as your love goes out know that it comes back to you multiply I send comforting thoughts to everyone and know that these thoughts are returning to me see the world becoming an incredible circle of life and so it is foreign [Music] [Music] you deserve love we don&amp;#39;t have to believe everything in the perfect time space sequence that what you need will rise to the surface each one of us has the ability to love ourselves more each one of us deserves to be loved we deserve to live well be healthy to be loved and loving prosper and the little child deserves to grow up to have a wonderful wonderful life see yourself surrounded by love see yourself happy and healthy and whole see yourself as you would like your like you&amp;#39;re putting in all the details know that you deserve it [Music] then take the love from your heart and let it begin to flow filling your body with healing Energies Let Your Love begin to flow around the room and around your home till you are in an absolutely enormous Circle of Love feel the love circulating so that as it goes out from you it returns to you the most powerful healing force is love let it circulate over and over again let it wash through your body you are loved and so it is [Music] all right [Music] a new decade see a new door opening to a decade of great healing healing that we have not understood in the past we are in the process of learning the incredible abilities that we have within ourselves and we are learning to get in touch with those parts of ourselves that have the answers and are there to lead us and guide us in ways that are for our highest good [Music] so let&amp;#39;s see this new door opening wide and ourselves stepping through it to find healing and many many different forms for healing means different things to different people many of us have bodies that need healing some of us have hearts that need healing or Minds that need healing so we are open and receptive to the healing that we each need individual end of it we open the door wide for personal growth and we move through this doorway knowing we are safe it is only change foreign [Music] Spirit am I we are the only ones who can save the world as we band together with a common cause we find the answers we must always remember that there is a part of us that is far more than our bodies far more than our personalities far more than our diseases and more than our past there is a part of us that is more than our relationships the very Central core of us is pure spirit eternal always has been and always will be we are here to love ourselves and to love each other by doing this we will find the answers so that we can heal ourselves and the plan we are going through extraordinary times all sorts of things are changing we may not even know the depths of the problems yet we are swimming as best we can two shall pass and we will find Solutions we are spirits spirit and we are free we connect on a spiritual level for we know that level can never be taken from us and on the level of spirit We Are All One we are free and so it is [Music] foreign [Music] a world that is safe if you&amp;#39;re in a group you might like to hold a hand on either side of you we&amp;#39;ve touched on many things and each of us has something we can relate to we&amp;#39;ve talked about negative things and positive things we&amp;#39;ve talked about fears and frustrations and how scary it is to go up to somebody and just say hello many of us still do not trust ourselves to take care of ourselves and we feel lost and lonely [Music] yet we have been working on ourselves for some time and have noticed that our lives are changing lots of problems in the past aren&amp;#39;t problems anymore it doesn&amp;#39;t change overnight but if we are persistent and consistent positive things do happen so let&amp;#39;s share the energy we have and the love we have with other people know that as we give from our hearts we are also receiving from other hearts let&amp;#39;s open our hearts so that we can take in everyone with love support and caring let&amp;#39;s move that love to people in the street who have no homes and no place to go [Music] let&amp;#39;s share our love with those who are angry frightened or in pain every person and all those in denial those who are in the process of leaving the planet and those who have already left let&amp;#39;s share our love with everybody whether they accept it or not there is no way we can be hurt if our love is rejected let&amp;#39;s hold the entire planet in our hearts the animals fish the birds the vegetation and all the people all the people we are angry at frustrated with those who are not doing it our way and those who are expressing so-called evil take them into our hearts Hearts they can begin to recognize who they really are see peace breaking out all over the planet know that you are contributing to that peace right now Rejoice that you have the ability to do something you are a beautiful person acknowledge yourself or how wonderful you are know that it is the truth for you and so it is [Music] foreign [Music] the light has come an exercise for two people sit opposite your partner and hold your partner&amp;#39;s hands look into each other&amp;#39;s eyes take a nice deep breath and release any fear that you may have take another deep breath and release your judgment and allow yourself to be with this person what you see in them foreign a reflection of what is in you it&amp;#39;s all right We Are All One we breathe the same air we drink the same water we eat the foods of the Earth we have the same desires and needs we all want to be healthy we all want to love and be loved we all want to live comfortably and peacefully and we want to prosper we all want to live our lives with fulfillment allow yourself to look at this person with love and be willing to receive the love back know that you are safe as you look at your partner affirm for them perfect health [Music] affirm for them loving relationships so that they are surrounded by loving people wherever they may be affirm for them prosperity so that they live comfortably affirm for them comfort and safety and know that what you give out returns to you multiply so affirm for them the very best of everything and know that they deserve it and see them willing to accept it and so it is [Music] thank you [Music] feel your power feel your power feel the power of your breath feel the power of your sound feel the power of your love feel the power of your forgiveness feel the power of your willingness to change feel your power you are beautiful you are a Divine magnificent being you deserve all good not just some but all good feel your power be at peace with it for you are safe welcome this new day with open arms and with love feel your power and so it is thank you I love you this is Louise

Transcript for:Notes on 'The Power is Within You' by Louise Hay

Transcript for:
Notes on 'The Power is Within You' by Louise Hay