i think the hands are the windows into the soul I think what we underestimate is the power of our gestures Love it Just love it Just those jazz hands Just those jazz hands So here's I'm going to do a little experiment with you So I'm going to put my hands in my lap I've been very careful to leave my hands on the table for the entire interview That's on purpose Now something funny happens in your brain when you can't see my hands And the longer my hands are underneath the table the more your amydala will begin to fire and the more distracted you become with where are her hands why are her hands out of the table and the moment I bring my hands back out again your brain goes and that is because hands show intention And this makes sense from an evolutionary perspective So if we go back to caveman days if we were approached by a stranger caveman and they went friend friend friend friend friend friend we saw they weren't carrying a rock or a spear and they were probably a friend In fact when we go "So nice to meet you We can see someone's hand." We know that they're literally not going to harm us So our brain still keeps this mechanism that if we're on video and we can't see someone's hands or they walk into an office with their hands in their pockets or behind their back we feel a little bit uneasy So there's two things for this First is the moment someone first sees you you want to be friend friend friend Good to see you Oh so nice to meet you We'll put your hand up for people that can't see The moment I walk into a room hey nice to see you Even before I handshake even an old friend I'll be like oh my gosh so good to see you on Zoom morning For people for people that can't see she's basically putting her hand in the air which like a little wave a little wave We love a palm As humans we love seeing someone's palm There's something about it that makes us feel like ah they are literally open palmed So that's the first in the first few seconds of someone seeing you in person on video try to flash your palm very very simply Second we understand competence in two ways Very highly competent people know their content so well they can speak to you on two tracks They can speak to you verbally but they also can speak to you with their hands This is why we loved picture books as kids And so when someone is speaking we're listening to their words but second we're looking are their hands outlining their words So for example all the best TED talks start the same way And this is what got me my TED talk is we studied all the TED talks from 2010 looking for patterns and my team and I coded every TED talk we can find looking for differences between the most viral TED talks and the least viral v viral TED talks We found that the most viral TED speakers used an average an average of 465 hand gestures in 18 minutes Whereas the least popular TED talkers use an average of 271 gestures So not quite half Meaning if someone walks on stage here's a really good TED talk They all start this way You ready today I want to talk to you about a big idea We're going to share three different things that are going to change your life So for people listening I was outlining with my hands along with my words If I were to get on stage and say "Today I have a really big idea It's huge." And hold up my hands in a really small way Your brain is 12.5 times more likely to believe my gesture over my words And so what we can do as speakers as very highly charismatic speakers is think about how can I outline very basically not modern dance what I'm saying or how can I emphasize things with my gestures If something is big show me Is a beachball big is it what is this big donkey big is this a donkey i don't even know Yeah most donkey Big a goat A goat This is a goat big If you have something that's really small and no big deal doing this actually helps you think that it's not a big deal making a little kind of dismissive gesture with my hand This also works with emphasizing points you want people to remember If you have three ideas tell someone you have three ideas It is very hard to lie with our gestures For example you want to do a little experiment with me sure Okay I want you to say five but hold out the number three Five Hard right So it's really hard for her I had to think about them separately Yeah It's really hard Our brain is not meant to lie with gesture which is why humans pay so close attention to gestures because we're looking to see are they congruent It is so hard to be inongruent with their gestures Liars typically use less gestures So we're also drawn to people who are using gestures who are congruent with their gestures because it makes us feel like oh they know their stuff and they're being honest So it made me reflect it How do we establish causation here in terms of these hand gestures could it be the case that the more confident TED speakers are doing more gestures because they're less nervous so is it about nerves um and the less um confident more nervous TED speakers are doing less gestures just because they're self soothing a lot and they're they're kind of closing off their body Is confidence the thing here is it nerves i don't think so I think it's about engagement So I think most TED speakers and I watch these TED talks They're all good All of them are good And some of them are experts in their field The difference is do I want to watch their good it is hard for me as a viewer to pay attention for 18 minutes with someone who didn't use enough gestures It was like physically hard for my brain to pay attention I think those speakers whether good or not had over rehearsed and rehearsed out their hand gestures or were holding a podium or were holding a clicker too hard So I actually think that it's less to do with the speaker's nerves or confidence and it's more to do with are they going to let themselves use their hands to explain their points and that becomes more engaging One of the things I've noticed on this podcast is people who are using their hands are more expressive And if they're more expressive there's likely to be more sort of intonations in their voice And if there's more intonations it's more engaging And if it's more engaging then it's more attentive for the algorithm And if it's more retentive for the algorithm it's suggested more If it's suggested more there's more views So I would like to tell my guests all the past and particularly future guests that if you're if you have more expression in what you're saying and more inations in your voice then our show will grow Okay let's talk about two things here One is we did a test on my YouTube channel and found that if we used a thumbnail of me doing any hand gesture it didn't even matter what it was it could be this it could be this it could any hand gesture that got more clicks M people even in the thumbnail like to see the hand gesture even more than my crazy facial expressions We tried both So yes we are because if you see a thumbnail of me you know holding up two you're like what two things is she talking about what is it so it's we we like it It shows competence And the second thing is that vocal variety is an incredibly important aspect of charisma We're talking about gestures but there is a feedback loop here that the more like if you if I were try if I were going to sit on my hands for this interview you would notice my facial expression would get less charismatic My vocals will be less charismatic It's really hard to be charismatic without movement Vocal variety is a critical aspect of both warmth and competence That is because when we hear someone who's able to for example give us the TED talk voice So I'm going to give you the TED talk voice You ready this point is going to change the way that we think about the world And if we don't analyze this point we will be in huge trouble Like that is a voice that is telling you "Oo this is important." You also hear that really good speakers will use like a number's voice So a number's voice sounds like this Did you know that 43% of humans all believe in the same thing 43% Like there's And then if you're telling a story it changes again So a story tone would go like this You're never going to believe what happened to me So last week I'm walking down the street and I saw this guy It's a totally different vocal variety That is a gift to your listener That makes you more engaging because they're able to clock Oh we're doing a number now Oh we have a story now Oh this is an important point I better write it down Really good TED speakers are outlining their talk for you in me in in many different ways And that's the best speakers I see on stage It's so interesting because in this podcast we um had quite a long conversation a couple of months ago about arms on the chair the chair that you're in now And it was just this observation we had when we first flew out here to New York The chairs that we ordered were pretty similar to this but they just happened to have arms on them And what I noticed was that guests would lean Oh And and it would take out their arms Yes So it took out their arms and they became less expressive and the conversations were less interesting Yes So we removed the arms again Okay Okay so let's talk about this just very briefly Yeah I actually do recommend chairs with arms not in this setup because look at the difference So actually right before this interview you asked me to scoot my chair in right my amazing team asked me to scoot my chair in Thank you for that because it makes it so that I want to put my hands up If I were to be sitting farther back I'm just going to lean back for a second I would be tempted to put my hands in my lap Yes So the critical piece of this is you're having me scoot up to the table It would be really hard if I had arms because then I would want to go like this and it would make me look like a duck Yes Right So you want to use a chair with arms to be broader It actually does broaden your arms out Unless you're really close to the table and you can put your hands on the table But I I it's amazing how the physical environment can change how we are perceived and how we move But even we're very intentional about the sort of mirroring of our body language and just making sure that we're headon because this conversation is entirely different if we're side on Very much It's not going to be the same very much And there's not going to be the same level of intimacy We also thought a lot about the how big the table was This is quite a big table What's the distance uh I'm going to say it's about just shy of 2 m Wait can you hold your arm out okay so this perfect distance The perfect distance between two people having a good conversation is that we could shake hands if we wanted to And that is because there are four different proximic zones So the fancy word for space is proxmics I don't know if you have that beautiful graphic I printed out this Oh yes that's it Yes So there are four different space zones and these are really good to know if you're trying to set yourself up for success The public zone is about 5 to 8 ft away I don't know uh not feet but 5 to 8t away Then you have the social zone which is where we like to socialize with people That is depending on who you ask 3 to 5t away Then there's the personal zone That's our favorite zone That is about uh arms distance apart right so we could shake hands if we wanted to That's where our best conversations happen And then there's the intimate zone A big mistake people make is they place their video camera too close to their face which means they are accidentally signaling intimacy cues with their colleagues and their co-workers Have you ever been on a Zoom with someone where their face is the entire camera yeah I was on one earlier on and you're like "Please back up." And that is because your brain is going too close even though they're across a camera So what I would really recommend measure the distance between your nose and your camera It should be one arm length So it should be the tip of your nose to the tip of your fingers or a foot and a half to three feet away That is the ideal zone for having good conversation over Zoom That's really interesting as well because I was thinking about the conversation I had actually on the way here in the car with a colleague of mine and they had called me on FaceTime Now the thing with FaceTime is it's going to be close It's going to be close and it it did feel a little bit intimate It does because they called me on FaceTime Yes Obviously if I was on my laptop they would call me on Zoom or something else and you there would be a meter Yeah So I think that that's why we can sometimes at least introverts feel like "Don't FaceTime me It's way too personal," is because there's a setup there that it's actually accidentally tricking you into being in the intimate zone with someone This is also why uh loud bars and nightclubs work so well for facilitating romantic relationships What happens in a loud bar or a loud nightclub is you can't hear someone's You go "What?" And then you get a little bit closer and all of a sudden you're accidentally standing in someone's intimate zone which then that Q cycle begins to kick in where you're like well if I'm standing within a foot and a half from this person maybe I should feel intimate with them which then makes you lean in more makes you want to touch more That is why people go to bars and nightclubs to facilitate these romantic relationships It's accidentally going into the intimate zone We just saw how something as simple as showing your hands can completely shift how people see you It builds trust shows confidence and keeps your audience engaged From ancient survival instincts to modern TED talks and viral videos gestures aren't just helpful they're essential Think about it The most impactful speakers the most watched videos even the thumbnails that get clicked the most all of them are using body language on purpose So now I want to hear from you Have you ever noticed how hand gestures affect how much you trust someone or maybe you've caught yourself tuning out when a speaker just stood still drop your thoughts in the comments Let's start a conversation down there And if you got value from this video hit that like button It really helps us reach more curious minds like yours Make sure you subscribe and turn on the bell because the next videos will dive even deeper into the science of influence presence and communication that actually works This channel is here to help you grow as a creator a speaker or simply someone who wants to connect more powerfully with the world Thank you for being here and I'll see you in the next one