please welcome Carrie Keegan everybody Carrie [Applause] [Music] Keegan well hello well Carrie Keegan how lovely to finally meet you and good Lord you're wearing a dress aren't you I just wanted to make sure you were up and awake well I'm up now I can tell you that I'll be walking in circles for the rest of the day what I saw that I saw that you did you hear Dr Ross talking about avocados I I did I brought my own I think it's a different form of produce you're but but my the left one is you know well that happens with the ladies too yeah that's quite natural I've noticed that in my um research have you yeah how closely do you research B are lucky I gu no I uh I I think it's quite natural if it was all the well self-exam so it's a lovely dress thank you thank you very much very wait a minute it's a different color on the back it is there's a whole thing going on look oh look look oh it's cute right it's very nice it's called color blocking it's color blocking yes it's a whole thing I've heard about it I heard you heard about that your wife is into color block she was into well she was wearing a dress and there was another bit on the bottom there was a different color I said what's the bit on the other the in the bottom for she said it's color blocking and I was like doesn't make just looks like an extra bit no then then I shut up does it confuse you is that is that is it hard for you to understand yes a little bit I do you know sometimes I think women's fashion gets a little UT for me yeah well right completely did you watch the Oscars of course wow what about that leg sticking out of that dress I thought you did it better oh thanks I I think my legs got a little more meat is that true or are you just hanging to the right oh no no no no no I meant the actual I didn't I meant the oh sorry sorry this is filthy Booker again immediately me I'm dirty Dr Oz was just out here talking about all kinds of things he's a doctor he's a doctor he can say anything he wants he can say anything he wants cuz it's medical well I found out obviously why I'm not getting any dates because I've been doing it wrong all this time I always thought that it was three fingers of whiskey or something along those lines you're not getting any dates I think you told a not true thing there didn't it's very true you're kidding me no it's very true so you know I got the morning show gig I was super excited I'm moving to the big city I'm going to New York right and uh they sort of forgot to tell me that it's a Morning Show schedule I'm up at 4:00 and I'm in bed by 8:00 p.m. see that's perfect for me I got kids but it's terrible for dating yeah probably it's awful I end up going to restaurants at like 11:30 I have the early bird special yeah I love all that though so I'm hanging out with people like you yeah what's wrong with that what are you liking man what you looking for on a young fell cantelopes most calop you oh yeah oh really avocado really does it is it a concern of yours testicle size well it should be shouldn't it everyone should worry about these things because Dr Oz says that it means you're healthy if it's a good s well I don't know that he necessar he just was saying he was talking about the design of nature because of the Clickety Clacks that's all that whole thing it worries me what what worries you the sound that it makes oh click deine yes no no they don't make much of a noise well at least they shouldn't but if they do maybe if they make a noise then maybe your gentleman's friend's older than he's telling you a are making a noise right now no no it's a bit Rusty but it's okay it's okay I'm just kidding with you though you can take a joke I know no I can't no I can't no when it comes to my avocados you know that you were talking about getting a colonoscopy my mom actually just had to go in for one uh and the night before she went in what's wrong why are you questioning that I'm not questioning I'm listening concern to Nature okay okay okay this is concern I that face is confused well I'm trying not to look at your breast as well I get that a lot I do I'm I'm doing that mhm well check this out so she what she was it was the night before the colonoscopy they tell you you have to not eat and sort of starve yourself and drink Gatorade and flush and do all of that right she passed out in the middle of the night trying to go to the bathroom fell flat on her face broke her nose in two different places smashed her eye and the little orbit bone whatever that is orbit bone that's what call that orbital thing yeah can you believe that so I would say don't go for the colonoscopy it's bad for your because cuz you break your face you might no I I I think it's probably you know your your mom probably should have you know not done crack I know I know but that's a totally different anyway you were going to tell me what you were looking for in a man oh I was wasn't yeah yeah yeah well you might not be going to tell me but you're going to tell me now you know what I don't have a type really no is that bad should I have a type should I start pigeon hauling people so I don't get anything I think but but but I mean what kind of what would you like to do what do you what do you do in your spare time what would you like to share your interests with um I've never been to the Opera so you want to go to the Opera that may be a gay dude you're looking for I do have a lot of gay friends well of course if you've got a lot of gay friends and you haven't been going to the Opera then I I think there's they're not gay enough they're not classy enough that's what I'm saying shoot okay well that what about a skeleton looking for a skeleton friend no I I I yes I I was hoping that you would can I can I go over there no you can't go over there I can't get no you can talk to him hi Jeff hi how you doing you like older dudes like dead guys yes as a matter of fact I like them I like them a little a bit bony like you what is that noise that you're making why did you come over here and find out I think he's leaving us alone you guys carry on I'm just will you will you come to New York and hang out with me a little bit you got to start talking to him he's going to fire me right now you got I phoned him no you like New York you enjoy New York I love New York you like smell of what peee in the summertime nice what part of New York you live in W I live in the middle of Time Square I know nobody actually lives in the middle of Time Square but I do are you a homeless person I do like to hang out on the corner of 402 but don't judge me I'm not judging you I do not judge here I love all the people I say I used to live in New York you did yeah way back back and when you know horses and carriages and stuff and I used to live downtown oh there's a picture of that in my building there was like one building in the middle of town square and that was you waiting that was me there I was like we used to wear our pants up to here and we rode big big bicycles one big giant front wheel and one tiny wheel behind it just like our testicles wear like that as well one giant one one little one and we go around in circles do you have a bicycle I don't I gave away rollerblades I haven't had you give away roller blades actually my roller blades got stolen out of my car a million years ago and that was the last time I think a valet stole them the valley stole your roller blades lame right no maybe he needed them because you have to go and get the car and come back and go get the car and come back but then he shouldn't have gotten tipped and I obviously tipped him and now I'm pissed you're quite a cranky woman AR you I have to get up at 4:00 morning what the you would be cranky too you know when I got up that early in the morning I uh I was on lot lot of drugs I drink a lot but that's why they called my show Buzz yeah do you drink a lot yeah it's a Big Morning Buzz yeah have you ever been to Carnival no you should go I I feel like I need to do a little more working out I think to be able to part dress you fine I would be far overdressed those women wear like strings and a feather and that's their whole outfit you'd look great yeah I've done it before back in the today you have we're out of time what do you want to do mouth organ or big cash prize uh well he already did the mouth organ he won I can't top that let's do the cash prize what time is it sh DAV it's time for the big prize you can win $50 quers in the B with the doll sign on it hey don't touch the money until I just need to weigh it out make sure it was even okay how's it feel we're good okay two ways to win you can either answer the question or guess what's in my box here's how that works I imagine a box in my head I don't know what's only Jeff knows what's in it you tell me what's in it if you're right Jeff will say yes or no if you're wrong something awful will happen is your box clean has it been you you want to go for the Box H it scares me I know sometimes exciting things will scare you let's go for the Box okay go for the Box Jeff I'm imagining I'm imagining a box Jeff okay okay what's in the box Jeff no wait no you got ask what's in the box what what you guess he's on my side no you I might be on your side but that's not the point that's not how the game works that's my show I'm imagining a box Jeff I'm imagining a box as [Music] well what's in the box a hamster a hamster Richard Gear thing that's a Geral is totally different okay not that I would know that that's was just a rumor anyway Jeff what is in the Box I am so going to spank you it's a hamster [Applause] [Applause]