I've got some new tour dates to tell you about I will be back in Atlanta jaw jaw at the Fox Theater I loved it so much I'll be there on April 4th tickets go on sale this week get yours early with code Rat King starting Wednesday January 10th at 10:00 a.m. local time we also have tickets remaining in Brisbane um in the Australia Sydney uh in the Australia as well Charlottesville State College Amhurst all of those available at theo. comom and make sure you get your tickets through there if you're looking at some ticket that's an insane price 500 so 17,000 then you're on some weird site and that's that's your issue um but yeah if tickets are too expensive for you at whatever's remaining or on SEC or on a secondary site just wait we'll come back through I don't want you blowing your bank out man uh thank you guys for the support today's guest is uh the man that's one way to put it he's the number one life strategist uh on the globe on Earth um he's a philanthropist he's an entrepreneur he's a bestelling author um there's there's nothing really that he hasn't done he is an inspiration to many he's worked with some of the most intriguing and successful people on Earth um as an adviser to them uh I feel lucky to get to sit down with him and spend some time today's guest is Mr Tony [Music] Robins I'll sit and tell you my stories sh me and I will find a song how this [Applause] yeah man thanks so much dude really really cool great to be with you yeah you too man so many of my friends are fans of yours and that's how I became a fan got to listen to you and laugh my tail off here thanks you really bring a different color to things it's fantastic yeah I don't know what we're doing a lot of times you know that's that's when you do your best right yeah it just flows it just flows yeah you know yeah I guess it is man yeah that's true actually it's weird how much you can kind of plan and then but if you can show up with a level of unplanned kind of like spontaneous is always much more funny and and much more powerful I think yeah yeah yeah I guess you because you probably because you do so many things I mean even after just seeing and hearing a lot about you online and and just over the years you do so many things to try and fine-tune yourself right would you is that a safe safe way to say that yeah and know and I have certain fundamentals I want to cover but every time you enter an audience and you got 15,000 people you know and you got to hold them for 12s hours a day for five or six days when they wouldn't usually sit for you know a 30 minute you know video or three-hour movie so you got to really be able to adapt and feel what's there just like you and adapt and and it's got to be funny I mean if all you do is get up and talk for 12 hours you want to kill yourself right so you got to make people laugh you got to move them you got to produce all those things because you know time is so relative like how long is a long time some people think well you know Thousand Years some people think 2 minutes right so a long times when you're not enjoying yourself you know a minute feels like you turn but if you're fully engaged and you're enjoying everything like 12 hours goes like that so it's it's fun to see the impact you can have with people when you're willing to adopt it was the same every time also I'd be bored out of my mind just like it's your Live Events you mean yeah yeah yeah yeah that's I mean it's definitely remarkable um yeah I think I was thinking about like like tuning like more just like in your regular life and like your uh being ready for the day like yes what is that tuning like for you cuz that's a constant like that that's always evolving like every couple of months now we hear about some new thing or some new method or somebody's you know people are hiding underground for two hours or whatever people are you know there's people like who you know you know won't let their Shadow outside for a month and it's supposed to help them process lymph or whatever you know so there's there's so many things and um what are some things that that you that you do or that that really make you feel like uh that didn't feel like snake oil kind of you know yeah well you know some things I do I've been doing for like 20 years like you know I start every day in a cold plunge now it's very popular uh you know ice bath and so forth but I don't there's never a day I look forward to it Theo I don't wake up and go I can't wait to freeze my ass off but I to me it's a discipline it's like training my mind besides the physical benefit you know it doesn't feel good when you go in but you feel amazing coming out you're entire body gets flooded right your liy your blood moves but going in it's like I don't negotiate with myself I don't go oh let me see if I'm ready it's like I've trained my brain I say go we go and my home in Sun Valley I I walk through the snow and get in the river yeah you know that's like you know 41° and I mean it's it's intense but when you train your brain that when I say go go no negotiation then that shows up in every other part of your life so I do that I you know I work out every day obviously I do a 10-minute process it's a it's not really a meditation because I'm not good at not thinking and I don't know many people are that have no thoughts but I I do a way to kind of condition my nervous system and my mind it's really simple I do these three pieces three minutes each it's only 10 minutes so if I said 20 minutes people say I don't have time but even have 10 minutes for your life you don't have a life right so I just do three minutes of what are the emotions that mess people up in their relationship or their business it's usually anger or fear some derivative of those two so the antidote to those is gratitude you can't be angry and grateful simultaneously right you can't be fearful and grateful simultaneously so I train my nervous system by starting every morning I do this process to change my body it's a breathing process and then I think of one at a time a minute each I see and feel something in my life that I'm really grateful for I do little things and big things so you don't have to have a giant thing to be grateful yeah and it's real it's not like I'm seeing it over there it's like I'm experiencing it so it changes your biochemistry So when you say experience in it not to interrupt you yeah no go interrup as much you want but no I just want because I'll forget what the question is that's the only reason it's like it's like a desperation be um yeah so in that moment like CU I know what you're talking about I'll make a gratitude list right but sometimes it's like I'm just writing the things down and there's no real connection inside of me that won't do much and I know it won't do it's like I know this going to help at least I'm doing the practice but I know it's not going to have like a I I can tell even right now it's not going to help me that much so what are you saying that I that that I'm saying I close my eyes you know sometimes if I said think of a time when you rode a roller coaster and you remembered over there like see it over there that's called disassociated but if I get you imagine being in the front seat and you might tell me oh that was pretty interesting but if I get to go back actually the moment when you're coming over the edge and then you you see even right now you can see oh you know so that's what I do do with the Gratitude I get in my body as if I was then see it and feel it and experience it and that creates a biochemical change in your body as opposed to a thought a thoughts not enough right yeah so and you do three of those and then I have three minutes of kind of a cleansing of my body that I do mentally and and a kind of a prayer for others and then I do three minutes of what I call you know three to thrive I think of three things I want to make happen outcomes results and I don't sit there and beg for them or pray for them I see them as done I feel them I celebrate them as done because when your subconscious mind it's done it makes it happen so it's kind of programming it and the whole thing only takes 10 minutes if anybody wants to do it they can go to tonyrobbins.com priming there's no cost for it and shows you how to do it but we do it with you know 20,000 people in a stadium and the energy that you have at the end that's amazing because otherwise you wake up and what do you have the first thing is your phone and your phone has a mixture of things really you know if you have you know like you do a lot of responsibilities and companies and P I look at that thing oh oh it's like it's you you're not in control of your life so I I set my life first I Prime what I mean by priming is priming is a psychological principle a lot of times when people Theo think something think oh that's my thought but it's been primed by something in the environment I got give you an interesting study they did this at Harvard they took uh men and women trained them as actors they went out and did this very simple thing they would go out to people and they have a cup of coffee and they rehearse doing it the exact way every time they walk up to you doing it yeah they're doing it the mall or someplace else they see you sitting there and they go excuse they go excuse me or University campus and they're holding a coffee they could you hold this for a second and they don't ask they put in your hand they look down so 90% of people take it and they reached in the pocket did something with their phone thanks so much that's it walk away well half those people they did that with had hot coffee the other half had cold ice coffee so then 15 minutes later approximately 15 to 20 minutes later somebody comes by and they have this little sheet you know clipboard and they say hey I've got $20 if you'll give me 60 seconds of your time would you take 20 seconds to read the this little paragraph of a story and then tell me afterwards I have two questions they read the story and they say okay tell me what was this person like how would you describe this character well the person that that the coffee person you mean the no they don't remember that person it's been gone from the story now it's a new person okay 20 bucks most people do it 20 bucks for a minute okay I'll do it some people say I don't need the 20 bucks I'll just answer your question read this little story it's the same same story for everybody yeah and then they asked him afterwards how would you describe the main character the people that got hot coffee 81% of them say the person is warm and generous when they give them the iced coffee they don't even know it affected them 80% 1% difference is variable will say the person is cold or uncaring no way same story that's absolutely true oh my gosh you can do it you can do this with creativity if I said to you make if I talk to an audience I'll say make the sound of what you think of when you think of Microsoft and you get uh make the sound of apple right that's a trillion dollar difference in people's response so they've done creativity tests well that have people watch a 30-second Apple commercial or just look at the Apple logo and then look at an IBM commercial or an IBM logo 20% higher score on a creativity test they take right after that for those who just looked at the Apple commercial that's it so we can be influenced so powerfully so I decide I want to advertise in my own mind I'm not going to have somebody else take control and so I prime myself every day I prime my brain so it's in a grateful State it's an anticipatory State it's a moving State because otherwise you get whatever you feel like and I don't know about you there are days I wake up I what city I'm in you know my body's gone I've got 3 hours sleep on a time zone so if I didn't reset then it'd be fake I'd be getting up trying to talk to people and I'm not really you can't move people if you're not moved you can't touch people if you're not touched you can't make people laugh if it doesn't make you laugh right you know yeah that's true that's really true so I try to make sure I'm in that place every single day and then when you do it every day it trains your nervous system to look for things to be grateful for then your mind starts to become conditioned because most people is that true that's absolutely true if you don't there just habits right so if you don't use your mind your mind will use you it's like technology right you use technology do amazing things or you can let your technology start using you with your whole life is control gambling on your phone even yeah for sure and that's just you could be doing anything God It's upsetting um I mean I've I've been obviously I have blockers on my phone now because obviously I can't you know whatever but um but that's amazing no that's something I don't that we don't think about a lot is like instead of just looking at the world why don't you clean the weapon that you're looking at the world with you know you got it cuz people think of it this way Theo people don't experience life they experience the life they focus on right so right now there's a if you're happy you are deleting all the things you could be pissed off about or frustrated or worried about in the world if you're unhappy you're deleting all the things that are great in your life Wow and our brains delete and they distort and they generalize so if you don't direct it you get whatever shows up what's wrong is always available what's wrong in the world it's always available what's wrong right is also available it's just which one you pick and it isn't about positive thinking cuz I I've never been into positive thinking people think I that's what I do it's not I believe in intelligence and so when you're in a lousy State of Mind you treat people poorly you don't perform at the highest level you're not happy when you're in a great state of mind to treat people better perform at a different place and it's one of the reasons the humor is so valuable it changes People's State and then you know all of a sudden they're in a different place they respond in a different place when they're laughing then when they're pissed off so why not train yourself to do that you've trained yourself to find what's entertaining or funny and just about anything is what makes you as good as you are in that area you have developed patterns of how to do it you may not even be conscious of them all yeah I don't think I was I don't think there were conscious patterns but I think sometimes the sometimes yeah the best part is when my brain will make me laugh and I didn't even have anything to do you know like cuz after a while yeah you're like and you're like I'll sometimes I'll just bust out laughing I'll be like thank you so much like like my brain like just like does like a little joke for me or something um and this this goes right into something I was I was thinking about since it's like the new year you know and happy New Year to you and um and yeah cuz people so often say like New Year's resolution or they're like but that doesn't really that's kind of like a oneandone it feels almost outdated that idea but how do you CH I guess and you just kind of answered I guess like how we change our perspective so like so we change our attitude you know that's really what you need to have a new experience yeah you there's three decisions you're making every moment your life your audience can test this out the first one is what going to focus on now when I say make these decisions Theo I don't mean you're making them all consciously right so whatever you focus on that's what you feel if you're supposed to meet your boyfriend girlfriend husband wife whoever at 7 o'cl you get there at 700 they're not there some people are pissed off some people are worried it's the same event if it's 7:30 and they're not there they've not called they not text now what are you feeling some people go I'm really pissed off I'm really worried I'm really single you know really single I'm it's 8:30 haven't showed up I'm full I didn't wait for the bastard you know but the point is whether whether you're angry or whether you worried had nothing to do with the event it's the habits of your mind the person who's worried thinks oh maybe they're in a car accident person's pissed off they did it again so the first decision you make is what are you going to focus on and most people have patterns of focus so there's three I'll give you your audience can test out do you tend to focus more on what you have or what's missing what's missing yeah do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can't control probably what I can control because but it's out of desperation because I feel like I have to control everything well that's not a bad thing you can't control everything right it's an illusion but you can influence so much you can control everything in you okay and then the third one do you tend to tend focus more on the past the present or future the past yeah so those three patterns if you do all three of them if you constantly look at what's missing it's hard to ever stay fulfilled or happy yeah so you have to always do something to try to make yourself happy because you're always noticing what's missing that's just where your focus goes there's always something missing there's always something that's not missing there's always something beautiful if you focus on what you have you're going to be more fulfilled second one if you focus on what you can control what you do it's why you have your own business it's why who you are but a lot of people focus on what they can't control it's overwhelming they're stressed out they think of all those things so if you constantly focus on What's Missing You can't control and the past which you can't change what that makes is either angry or sad or frustrated or depressed I've you see people all the time that come to me you know groups I just did this thing for Stanford where they two years ago and everybody's in covid they came to me because two of their professors came to my seminar for 5 days both were you know clinically depressed they came back with no depression symptoms they said you know how do you do this I mean do you have any data I said well I got millions of people my programs you know they go no like scientific dat I said well you want to do a test they said sure I said what do you want to test on and they said depression and I said well I already know what triggers that for anybody you can give them drugs all day long all Prozac and Zola does is numb things but I just got off of mine oh good for you yeah I'm like 17 days off right now so awesome well let's see how it goes see how it goes I appreciate it but but your two patterns that you just did constantly Focus what's missing and the past will make it a little harder for you to be happy on a long-term basis you crack yourself up so in the moments you change your state but if you want a long-term change all you'd have to do is change the Habit it's just a habit of focusing on what you do have like your life is magnificent yeah yeah I got to I try a lot I just have to make sure I do well it has to get conditioned and so it's you don't have to about it if you think about it doesn't work right by that time it's too late and then the second one is focusing on what you can control your already do but the past versus the present and the future enjoying the present and building the future just that little pattern changed somebody's life do you know how many people are on Prozac and so off I'll ask in an audience I got 15 20,000 people I say how many of you know someone who's on anti-depressants and they're still depressed and 95% of the room raises their hand and the reason is because those drugs numb you but they don't charge the cause as long as you constantly focus on What's Missing From my life and constantly look at the past which you can't control and if you're on top of it you're focused on you know what you can't control that's why I got off cuz I I could have any feelings I was trying to like be in relationships and stuff and it's like girls would be like do you like me I like I don't you know like I would literally have to look at like history of Stu like it's almost like I would have to look at my own past for Clues right like on how I felt and so because you're being altered right you're being altered yeah it was just too it was too hard to get like a real feeling out of myself and so I was like man I got to have some feelings or I'm not going to be able to make some choices for myself good for you that's really awesome but I want you to know I want you to know how the normal treatment is to put you on antidepressants and therapy or one or the other or both right so I asked the guys at Stanford I said you want to study it well what what are the meta studies you you have multiple studies they give you the averages and they said well the meta studies show that 60% of the people who take Ender pressence and now they know SSR ouris don't even work there was a cover a year ago in September know this nobody email me I've been taking 17 years oh really yeah I don't go look at sep September of 2022 cover of Newsweek says meta studies show the ssris don't work but we keep selling them right yeah well then what am I doing but watch this here's the stats 60% don't improve at all 40% of people improve the average Improvement according to meta studies is 50% so they're half as depressed as they were now some people get well but it's a very small percentage so I said you could almost do that with a placebo and the guy laughed and said yeah I said what's the best study you've ever done the most effective study in science they said there was a study done at John's Hopkins about five and a half five years ago paron me and who who what did the this is from Stanford that who John's Hopkins John's Hopkins Hospital has some of the best researchers and so forth and so they did this study and here's what they did they gave people psilocybin for a month magic mushrooms and cognitive therapy I said well you ought to get some change out of that he goes yeah it was the greatest change they've ever seen in the history of Psychiatry 6 weeks after treatment 53% excuse me 54% of the people had no symptoms of depression dude I have I take four stems in a Diet Coke I'll talk to my sister for an hour you know so I fully support that sir but unfortunately so you're saying there's there's new methods there's new methods but but I said okay that's amazing but I said I think we'll do better but let's see so they did a group they modeled that same drug study did the same same thing with me with no drugs I put people in this six day seminar I have called Date With Destiny and they picked all the people and put them all CL annual seminar right yeah one year and what was amazing was the results were so profound that they didn't want to get cancelled so they sent the data blind out to three other organizations before they published it and they published in the Journal of Psychiatry last year results 6 weeks later with no drugs just six days of rewiring your brain 100% of the people no depression whatsoever even better 177% of the people had suicidal ideation no suicide adiation here's what the best part 11 months later they followed up 72% reduction in negative emotions still no depression 52% Improvement in positive emotions so when you make a shift in a way you use your brain and it gets conditioned and it does get conditioned so they they were studying how it works and so there's a biochemical change that actually happens in the body perspective that's the thing it's like yeah you got to change like yeah instead of just being like I want to have this New Year's resolution another rule for myself I need to change the ruler that's you got it you got it's like I need to that's what I need to change but a lot of people times we don't even see that we're the ruler yeah you great a great metaphor this episode is sponsored by prize piics do you love firing on different sports well prize picks is the best daily fantasy sports app for you that's right you can fire on all your favorite sports from the NHL NBA NFL us UFC and more instead of choosing teams you choose individual players that's what I like about prize picks it's novel it is it has a unquity to it you get to you get to choose a player so you could say Brock pie gonna do two touchdowns you and you pick more or less and that's how you pick them you could say uh Jordan Matthews going to have five receptions more or less and that's how you would pick them download the app and use code Theo prize pick will match your deposit up to $100 that's right prize picks thank you for your support blue chw oh man somebody's allergic to this good wiener huh well what I'm telling you is bluechew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra CIS and Levitra but in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost the best part it's all done online so no visits to the doctor's office no awkward conversations and no waiting in a line at the pharmacy I hate that you have to lie to people they're like what are you getting and you're like oh God I'm sick I'm in a wheelchair and they're like you're not in a wheelchair and you're like you're right I'm waiting waiting for that Wier dope baby you feel me blue bluechew wants to help you have better sex discover your options at bluechew chew it and do it and we've got a special deal for our listeners try blue chew free when you use our promo code Theo at the checkout just pay $5 shipping that's blue.com promo code Theo to receive your first month free visit BL cw.com for more details and important safety information and we thank blue Chu for sponsoring the podcast that's a great a great metaphor you know you know like if you wanted to go go do a I don't know if you're into racing at all but like a Lon a 24-hour race or Baja 1000 you could have a amazing car Ferrari it's not going to last you have to re-engineer that car to be able to take on the desert or drive for 24 hours or go to the ones that are in the desert there where they have a pipe so that when you go down it still can get the air to the combustion of the engine we have to re-engineer ourselves so the times we in we're in a time right now it feels like winter where there's more fear than usual yeah it's a season it'll pass do you think that's true I know it's true you study history think of it this way there's patterns because because we see a lot of stuff right like there's so much things going on it's like you know there's all kind yeah like we all it feels like that's true but because it's constantly fed to you it's hard for me to know if it's true or if it's just well it may be true but it's disproportionate it's like you didn't know 30 years ago there was an aircraft crash in some third four third world country but now you know in 10 seconds in your pocket so you know when people over react to something you've ever gotten pissed off over something little the reason you overreact is it's not that moment it's that it happened again right did it again right so I call that stacking so when you stack problem on problem on problem pretty soon your whole biochemistry it's hard to get back but you can also stack the good that's why I do the morning priming so when you stack a good thing on top of a good thing on top of a good thing your whole biochemistry changes and now you see the world through different eyes it's not like you're guaranteed to succeed but you're probabilities of pulling it off and enjoying yourself are up about a th000 f oh yeah and like I'll go to I go to like AA meetings I go to recovery meetings right so um and I notice if I go to a couple in a day dude by Friday I'm a good guy you know I'm like hugging people I'm like telling blind people I'm going to heal them I can't but I'll do this for like 30 seconds on them you know it's like you just feel like but you're right it's but it takes me I have to stack them up and it's like and then it's usually a couple days later that I even I'm like man why do I feel so great it's like oh because I did this work over the past 10 days you know and what you did there were actually when you really do it strongly like that it creates a biochemical change and that creates a new habit in your nervous system so what notice is that your in your body like your your your Chemistry in your body actually notices you're doing something different and want to here's what here's what they found they they did my work with a top Professor who's highly rated at Stanford he did my work word for word but he didn't do what I do in event which is change your biochemistry change the way you move your breathe your voice all those things change you he didn't do that he just taught it he got unbelievable results he's a tremendous teacher and Professor but mine were 300% greater because the biochemical change so they followed me for three years had me wear the $68,000 device that measures heart rate variability they come during every break and take my saliva they took my blood do my blood pressure it was crazy but they did it on several events over three years and they found all these Wild Things like and is Stanford did it yeah Stanford did and what they found was at the same group they Stanford in partnership with a group that's working like Tom Brady and some of the greatest athletes and they have this thing they called the um uh Championship biochemistry and so if Tom Brady is down in the fourth quarter by 10 points and it's a Super Bowl how does that guy come back and win the reason is because there's a part of him that goes in this state and I do it every time I get on stage but my audience does it as well and they measure it so what happens is testosterone explodes through my body that gives you incred drive and push and I've got to keep this building going imagine you know 10,000 15 20,000 people I got to reach the guy at the back for 12 straight hours the level of intensity is amazing playfulness fun but it's still intensity but normally that has a lot of stress with it my cortisol which is the stress hormone drops through the floor same as Tom so what you get is total drive doesn't guarantee success but total drive and not a lot of stress so you're able to stay centered and go so my audience though this amazing thing the so they measurement they found it like you know I jump a thousand times in a day on stage and I weigh 290 lbs so every time I jump and come down it's four times your body weight so I'm imagine a th000 pounds of pressure a thousand times in a day so my bone density is you look at I look like a gorilla underneath it I've done I've done it for like 40 years right so on the other hand they also saw that you know if you're running with somebody and you can't talk any longer you've gotten to a four of lactic acid I'm in an 18 and still speaking so then they started testing my audiences and they saw it looks like music when I go into these states the audience follows me and they measured it then when Co happened I had all people at home and so we had people in 195 countries so they went to people in 40 countries and measured them in real time as we're doing this now imagine at a live they're measuring them over yeah I built this what happened was not zoom but like a larger scale Zoom yeah 20 foot high LED screens 67 highest resolution I built a piece so I can bring people up Eric Yan from Zoom he built the system so instead of th000 people I could do 25,000 I've done a million and a half people in one seminar to give me an idea for 4 days it's been wild so but when I built this I wanted to figure out help people and I was like could it really work through these screens it was just out of necessity because every stadium was closed the governor of California calls me and says March of 2020 we're about to have an event for 12,500 people and he goes you can only put 100 people in the stadium like what are you talking about right it's not going to work so I was like screw you we'll move to Vegas they'll never shut down Vegas they shut down Vegas like 10 days before we move 12 500 people there then I went we'll go to Texas the governor there told me he'll never been he he he bent right yeah we'll do it in Joe Rogan's yard we did it in movie theaters for allow you put 10 people and we did 1250 movie theaters they shut down the movie theaters so I built the studio so they came and measured the people in all these different countries and what's Wild is like we start here at 10:00 a.m. for like a 4-day seminar and I had like I just did one for you know 14,000 people and we had about a couple thousand people from Australia we're starting at 10: a.m. it's midnight for them I go 12 to 13 hours so they go from Midnight to 1: in the afternoon for four straight days and nights and we lost 1% of the people good day good night so so they have but their biochemistry is changing the same as mine and so that's why a year later the changes are still there without them ever interacting with me again because people will this last well that's why Stanford did the study so that's what the study is so you saying so when the when the study you were talking about a little bit ago that was they went back to people that had gone to your seminar that's correct and they uh and they measured them in a year later you said 50 something per of them still had no reduction of 72% negative emotions increase of positive emotions 52% but now you know people uh since covid we got so used to being home people like why should I have to go to work I don't want to drive to work and people at offices want people to come to work there's all these conflicts right there's a lot more people being able to work at home but now if you read the studies people are more unhappy now than they were at the peak of covid because they wanted to be at home but now they feel isolated yeah you know and so what they don't understand is the path of least resistance never makes you happy it's like it do you have to push yourself when people talk about self-esteem I hate this term like so many kids were taught to get a participation trophy for something and they thought I'm going to build their self-esteem this way people can tell your whole life you're a piece of crap and your brain can goes screw you I'll show you and you become somebody people your whole life can tell you you're beautiful you're perfect you're the best and you can still not believe them be depressed about your life and think you're nobody your life self-esteem your self-esteem esteem for yourself is earned by you doing something difficult for you when you do something that's incredibly hard and you push through it your brain starts to have inner Pride not fake ego Pride right so you're saying none of that other so so that outside of stuff doesn't really matter your self-esteem is truly based on your relationship with yourself yes and your ability to grow I mean what makes people happy progress if you get some Big Goal you want Che a lot of them in your life right there's one of two responses when you achieve the goal the horrible one is is this all the is which a lot of people do after fighting for a goal and this all there is oh yeah but the but the other one is let's say oh this is amazing how long does that amazing feeling of achieving your goal last six years a year 6 months 6 days 6 hours what would you say um the actual it for me it doesn't last really long I don't feel that kind of stuff very much yeah well also you'd be numbed by those drugs right but for most people it's somewhere between six hours and probably six weeks right so not super long no and so the purpose of life is not just to get your goals your goals or you're getting what you want doesn't make you happy what makes you happy is who you become in pursuit of those goals so the growth the progress even if you don't achieve it yet but you start losing weight or you start building muscle or you start making your relationship better or you start to build a business the building the progress is what makes you feel alive because we're all made to either grow or die if your relationship's not growing it's dying if your business is not growing it's dying there's no in between that doesn't work so and when you grow you have something to give and what makes people fulfilled is growing and giving sharing it with somebody because there's only so much joy you can have by yourself drugs alcohol Entertainment sex with yourself whatever by yourself there's a limit to what you can feel that's why whenever something great happens most of us want to tell someone share with somebody we love because when you share it it magnifies it so that's really what we were trying to show people is how to create that kind of progress and a problem in New Year's is as you said a resolution is just like what do I want and they don't think about in any depth they say it and then here's the problem yeah they don't take it beyond that they have no plan right or it's a very simple plan and by February 1 by the first of February 95% of those things are already broken but what they're really is put my years resol loing in December you know well you need a path and so if you want to make your relationship better your business better your life better it starts with knowing what you want you got say what do I want why do I want it and what kind of person would I have to be to have that stay and then you got to a second step where you got to tell yourself find and tell yourself the truth truth which is there's a gap between where I am and where I want to be and don't yourself don't go I'm I'm a little overweight or I'm fat cuz I'm big boned no you're fat cuz you have poor habits right that's how it works yeah some people yeah I remember this the people always like he'll grow out of it and I'm like dude he's 34 like my buddy's Grandma's like it's just baby fat he'll grow out of it it's like we all have different but it's like he ain't you know Ronnie ain't growing out the reason you don't grow out of it is you have to see what's causing you to have that Gap and it's one them only a couple things either you got fear so you're not taking action or you might have for example uh some limiting beliefs like it never works I've tried everything the good ones are gone so you don't even begin or you might have some emotion gets in the way or a bad habit or maybe you're just missing the skill like no one's ever taught you how to make money or grow a business or have a great relationship so you're learning on the job and it's painful to learn the job so I've always said find somebody who's extraordinary at something or many people figure out what they're doing and do that it's called modeling instead of Reinventing the wheel now you can add yourself to it yeah but modeling gives you the pathway to power and then once you know what you want why you want it you're honest about the Gap you come up with a quick plan not a perfect one and you start taking action and then you face your demons you slay your dragons what needs to change like okay I'm never going to have a relationship if I'm numb all the time so I got to I got to change this it's hard but I'm I'm going to do the hard thing right and when you do the hard thing you get momentum and then what was hard becomes easy after a while and that's the secret dang gosh I'm going need a calculator to even go through that again but but that's okay you know but it's a lot of great information you know I'm talking I talk rly because I'm so passionate but you know you take people through at an event where they get to process it and take time through it to give you sense yeah no I appreciate it man I feel like uh it's nice you to share that stuff with this because I know it's stuff that you learned over the years and you know and it's a lot of value in that and that you even taken that time to just share that kind of stuff with us and I know you guys have a program it's uh not the DAT with Destiny but you guys have another program that you guys do oh yeah that that program started with uh Co because when all the whole world shut down I was like people need this right now how do I help so I built that studio I told you about and I was like okay why don't I do where you don't have to travel because they can't why don't make it so there's no money involved and let's just serve as many people as we can and so I put together a this three-day immersion of just three hours a day not 12 and I said let's give people an experience where they can really transform the first year we had half a million people do it last year we had a million and a half people so we're doing one more this year on on at the same time all at the same time wow in 195 countries every country in the world it's so fantastic so we're doing one this year January 25th through the 27th it's absolutely free there's no charge not partially free um and all the people have to do is they go to it's called time to rise like it's time to change your life right here time toise summit.com yeah uh January 25th through 27th and it's free it's free for anybody who wants to go and they can bring the friends or family they can do it from their house they don't have TR they go to the office and do it with people around them so it's really amazing the results we have had people change their business change relationship get off drugs I tell you one fun example though two years ago there's this guy that was 735 PBS he never would have made it to a seminar he saw was free he's been in bed he his brother died he got addicted to painkillers oh yeah and then his body just blew up and then he now had they told him he have to be on an oan mask the rest of his life he couldn't get out of bed a CPAP machine you mean yeah well it wasn't CPAP it's pure ongoing oxygen oh that's nice yeah and then secondly he couldn't get out of bed to go to the bathroom he had to be in bed he was naked in bed for 5 years and 730 lbs so he watches and I brought him up on screen I didn't know he was there he raised his hand vially so I raised up and I ask him questions so he got so inspired by this he took this little like like clothes hanger bar and just started doing these little exercises and over 90 days I I told him I said you get out of that bed make it to the restroom you get out of the restroom and drive a car again which I had done in seven years I haven't been a been in seven years and I said I'll fly you to my Unleash the Power Within event for 4 days you'll walk on fire with me and you'll really shift your life right he's lost 320 lbs he 3 months late was out of the out of the bed for the first time he drove a car he fell in love with this girl he came to the event walked on fire and now he's like in our we have a network of people because once you come to this event there's people all over the world you become friends with and he's like the Superstar of all these people cuz they can't believe the changes he's made and it all happened because he never would have come to an event but because he could do it from home in his bed he could do that it could reach him wow yeah what's something like I notic like there's been times in my past where it's like I think I didn't want to change because I wanted to keep having an excuse right like I remember even with smoking I remember it was like um part of me didn't want to stop there was a part of me I realized it didn't want to stop smoking because I knew if I stopped I wouldn't and it wasn't like a it was kind of a subconscious part of me but I knew if I I stopped I would I wouldn't have something to blame my inefficiency on or my what I just wouldn't have something to blame it's like it gave me something to blame does that make any sense it does because everything we do even things that seem stupid or derogatory we do to meet some needs and there's only six needs people have we have a need for Comfort or certainty we have a need for variety we have a need to fill significant unique special important everybody has that need we have a need to feel connection and love we have a need to grow we have a need to contribute Beyond ourselves it was just Comfort I think yeah it's the comfort and the certainty what you know but there is a fear that everybody has two fears all human beings at some moment feel that they're not enough and to feel like you're not enough for someone who love you crave makes a person crazy inside for someone who's what I didn't hear that right somebody whose's love you crave the average person you don't care but if it's somebody who's love you really want oh yeah so if you feel like you're not enough then you feel like you won't be loved to be worthless and unloved is like psychological death so people drug themselves eat they do anything not to feel that well what are your choices on changing that well you could take on a new project build a podcast build a business do something but you have to take risks to do that and risks you could look like a failure you could fail which might look like you're worthless might look like you're not worthy of love so subconsciously we come up with these ways to adapt so smoking a cigarette comforts you because when you take that big slow breath in and blow it out nice and slow it changes the tempo in your body completely you go from stress to comfort you can do that same without the cigarette but but once you're addicted and it becomes the go-to some people stop smoking and then they overeat overeating puts all the blood in your stomach and you start to breathe slowly again and feel things and you let go so you can get certainty and comfort by those ways or you can do it by working out and developing the sense of strength that makes you certain or you can do the same thing day after day there's so many ways there's positive ways and negative ways but we also need uncertainty we need variety if you if every day you know what's going to happen how it's going to happen you get bored out of your mind but if you have so much variety you don't know what's going to happen people freak out so these needs bounce up against each other and so when people do a behavior like smoking smoking will give you comfort certainty smoking will give you in some people's case variety because you were stressed out now you change your state that feels different it's called variety smoking will give you significance if you think it's cool although today it's a little harder to do that cuz most people think you're an idiot we put you in a separate room by yourself yeah they think you are yeah so but it used to be I'm cool if I smoke and some people say you can't make me not smoke I'm significant right for some people it's a way to connect with other people who smoke right so when you meet one of those needs you like it when you meet two you really like when you meet three you get addicted and you get addicted to positive things you get addicted to exercise you get addicted to working out you get addicted to you know growing your business you everyone gets addicted to something if it meets a bunch of your needs it's amazing and in a relationship if a person is certain that you love them and there's always a surprise they oh I I know they love me and we have so many surprises we have so much Variety in our life and I feel like the most important person significant and I feel so much love to them and we're growing contributing I'm leaving nobody says that because when your needs are met people stay like whenever I work with couples I work with hundreds of thousands of couples over the years and they always say one of them always say I gave him or her everything everything except what they needed if you gave them what they needed they wouldn't be leaving do you think we're afraid sometimes to say what we need though too or do you think we even know what we need sometimes most people don't you're absolutely right most people not only don't say it but most people don't even know it they're not even honest with themselves yet right and how do we get that because it almost seems like you're just wandering around in the dark if you don't even know that they there's wiring in the walls you know kind of well there's a there's a part of your brain called the reticular activating system big words that scientists usually call it the RAS it determines what you notice so there are millions of things you could focus on Even In This Moment the blood rushing through your ear the heartbeat your clothing touching your skin but you're not thinking about all that right you delete all that you focus on a small number of things the Rees notice is what you are going to focus on so if you get clear on what you want you just say okay and by the way when you say relationship you I don't know what I want I go great describe the relationship from hell what do you don't want tell me everything you I don't want a person like this I don't want to be like that I don't want to be and that creates energy when they're done with a whole list then I go right the opposite and you have the relationship from heaven or I don't know what I want in a career job right everything you don't want who do you not want to work with what kind of work you not want to do people get their energy going with that they're okay right the opposite you got the job from heaven so once you know what it is that you really really want now all you got to do is figure out okay what's gotten in the way what what do I need to shift how can I meet my needs in a better way but that's why we do events like this because telling people just go do that in their normal environment is difficult but when you go into Total Focus it's like I started to say earlier if you if you want to learn language and you went to high did you did you take a language foreign language in high school Spanish one and Spanish I think 2,000 I don't know what it was and do you speak Spanish well now no our guy didn't even speak our guy was like he got busted for fraud or something but uh I don't know what we learned yeah but I was in there for I was in there yeah I was in there but the reason you don't recall it was because it was a little bit at a time and the brain doesn't learn that way the brain learns best by immersion if I said you have the money and the time I'm not going to teach you Italian I'm going to drop you in Rome and I'm going to pick you up in 90 days with no teacher oh yeah days later you're speaking Italian because you're in it 24 hours days seeing it feeling experiencing it that's how I teach that's why I do 12 hours for four days that's why it's yeah that's why it's it's an intense thing or it's a immersion yeah and that's why it lasts that's why it lasts ah wow man yeah it's pretty impr it's um I think it's just neat to see that even just using your like seminar as an example that um that it takes immersion it takes real some some real commitment I mean even if people are coming for 6 days or even if people are are going to show up for long days on Zoom for four days in a row it's like whatever it is it takes some real commitment from ourselves to be able to do those things so I get a lot of people that get dragged there by somebody and they're like oh I'm going to get out here at the first break and you I remember I had a friend of mine who's now A friend of mine he wasn't before but he came with a a client friend of mine who was an NFL player this guy's a billionaire and he sat down and he saw people clapping and moving and stuff because we move the body it's not a Rah session it's the change of biochemistry there's a science behind it right goes I'm not going to do this I'm a billionaire I don't do this crap right and like 30 minutes later he's jumping he's this is the greatest experience of my life you know so sometimes you have to get in the experience to know what it is and then when you're in it and it's so enjoyable because change doesn't have to be painful it can be enjoyable but if you don't know what to do and you just do a little bit at a time pretty hard to get a real change but when you go for full immersion that's what happens but you know I still write books and do audios and things like that because you need immersion and then you need some space repetition you need feed the m in a regular basis so I like have three things I go I want to feed my mind every day I'm need to read hear an audio for 20 30 minutes so I'm constantly growing in some way I want to do imersion even I do this two three times a year I'll go places harder to do now because of who I am but I'll go to the back of the room I'll get somebody one-on-one to coach me about something I did this brain training for example it was like four days and nights to put all these electrodes on your brain to teach you how to go on what's called Alpha Brain the part of your brain where happiness is a lot easier right so I remember it was like 12 hours a day it was freezing cold you this dark room and you you hear these sounds based on your brain's working you how to retrain your brain it was hell and I'm like who do I got to kill to get out of this oh me I'm the one to put myself in this thing but at the end of four days Castro it sound like you were in qu it felt kind of like that but after four days didn't you entertain in qu I read that you didn't did some show I did did some shows and I heard that that was really cool of you to do that it was crazy I can't believe that tell me about that well I'll tell you about it so first of all they have a golf course down there which I didn't even think you don't think like cuz they're in the they're it's a tropical area right so these people they're down there it's a beautiful area so you go down um I remember the flight we went on to go down there you they have you have to fly in like this crazy pattern I guess in case like somebody's shooting at you like you have to be able to evade it so you go in this crazy shape and then you see like out of the darkness there's just like this it looks like a big diamond ring like lit up just all the the outlines of the whole base you know and so we went there there's all these big lizards not a lot of ladies bring your lady you know or something or bring you know bring a buddy who's willing to you know say he's a lady you know but there's yeah cuz there's not I think there was I think seven women down there there's like 1100 soldiers down there though seven women oh that's a brutal environment but they are look I'll tell you this the first day you might be like I don't think she's my type by the fourth day you're like that that is damn Hillary clone and you get to come home yeah yeah yeah yeah well the four I mean there's a wedding ring shop there and it is I mean for the seven women they're all just sit around like this yeah it looks like that that collection you have right there they're just but it is that that part was pretty remarkable oh um just uh the beaches they have down there real beautiful you don't hear anything about them though CU they're the ones on the military base so did you go to entertain the the soldiers the soldiers yeah we got to see some of the troop areas and we got to do like some volleyball with some of the prisoners or whatever but um some of the prisoners they made them wear like they couldn't even see while they're doing the volleyball it was bizarre but yeah we got to play volleyball you play volleyball and you can't see that's yeah that's a that's the rules they made for him but uh yeah and that might be I don't know be another form of torture yeah it may be I don't know what the the the ACT is or the law is but hopefully they prevented yeah that shouldn't be allowed it was semi fun I guess but it was yeah but um what was it like yeah that was amazing man just to be able to be down there you know wild just to be able to go do comedy there go and do the brighten people's Spirits there it was fun we got to do a bunch we got to go to go to um uh a lot of the Ford operating bases during like the not Kuwait but maybe Iraq like after that yeah like um Bahrain um so you're the modern day Bob Hope with a little more color we went out there dude I think it's they call me Bobby hopeless I think but we still show up you know dude I met a gal yeah one time I mean I I got to make out with a girl in a Blackhawk helicopter the I've flown in one but I haven't made out one look I've flown one I was a helicopter pilot for quite a while look you I mean neither me or her were that handsome I'll say that um are you sure it was a her dude who knows she seven who whatever you got to do man it's the troops you know awesome don't ask don't ask that's the old I think that's what they're doing now um but no I reason I mentioned that to you though is it was worth it cuz the end those four days I've rewired my brain to have a different level of Happiness so you believe this you you know this you've done it so many times that that is the key that's the thing it's like you excluded out these other things of like this is fool's gold this is fool's gold this is fool's gold I've been through plenty of fool's gold right that's how you get to the good stuff right that's what I'm saying but if you give up if you give up because something's most of it's but then you find those gems that really work and we find the gems work then you use them for the rest of your life and then you share them with other people because you can see it really works you know and then you know then you the science behind it but in the past I've just got people the results who that is the science right but it's nice now to have science justifying or being able to show people how powerful it is how effective it is but you know it was in the Journal of Psychiatry last year and all the people thought this is going to spread like crazy not one phone call because they're still selling ssris right so I mean the same people come to me they've always come to me but but nobody from the psychological community on major scale and they just a big conference and shared the results again and people were fascinated and this has came up ask questions but there's too much money in the in the I know it's just even money it's just habits this is how they do their their business it's a business right for those people so what do you say to somebody like me then or I mean sorry I'm sitting here so also me but um yeah like who's CU there's ways like I know once I right when I weaned off of my medicine right I got to talked I actually didn't talk to my doctor but I've gotten off so many times over the years I felt like I knew what I was doing I did let my close friends know hey I'm I'm getting off my medicine let me know if anything what using at the time just uh Lexa I've been taken right I said let me know if anything seems strange or whatever you know but then I more strange than usual yeah yeah yeah dude if I'm just like masturbating at the house dude yeah that's natural that's normal dude yeah that's normal behavior right but if I'm Pet shopping you know that's a then you need to call somebody you know you can certain call somebody I'm looking at a dog that's really scary D can you fetch oh yeah it's getting weird um but what I'm saying is uh yeah so there but I started running right I knew I said great my biggest thing is I don't want to lose this bad this this opportunity to see how I'm feeling because I'm not doing my part of taking care of myself you I have so much respect for you doing that it's so hard to do but you did the right thing which is what I teach you got to replace it with something you don't stop doing something you replace something else but what you're replacing it with actually changes your biochemistry yeah I don't want to run now I'm starting to freaking like it dude I met somebody yesterday and we got some damn Brook shoes together well that's a good first step yeah literally you're right but you get the runners high and it's it's a good high for you and you're making so it's like it's not about stopping what you're doing it's about starting something else that's more fulfilling like running what needs does it meet does it make you feel comfortable afterwards you feel certain you're going to feel good when you run 100% you have variety when you run is like a totally different state yeah sometimes I'll go around the track this way some go around the track this way okay okay and do you have sense of significance like I'm really changing I'm imp improving I'm becoming more some guy the other day like this kind of tough guy was like man you've been out there for a while that's cool you feel good yeah and do you feel more connected to yourself or God when you're running or the universe or nature or anything like that yeah I feel like I'm able to have some or like my brain will have conversations that maybe I've been meaning to have or whatever they just kind of show up while I'm running and do you feel like you're growing by doing this running by getting better um yeah I feel like it's not going to hurt me that's for sure yeah you know and there may be some form of contribution that'll come out of it because because you feel so much better you'll be able to give more so you're meeting at least four or five of your needs by running yeah versus the drugs made you feel certain mhm did they make you feel variety um no that was the biggest problem that was boring any feelings that's dead did they make you feel significant no no then they make you feel connected no no they make you feel like you're growing no contributing to others no so it met one need but when you get in the habit of it and you're numb it's hard to shift so it's it the only reason people shift is they hit a threshold I'll give you the chemistry of transformation you see how it works for you okay like there's five elements that when they're there people transform so the first one that usually happens is satiation satiation means there's nothing wrong but you've been doing the same thing over and over and over again after a while if your favorite meal was steak and lobster and you have it every day three times a day there's going to be a point where you go like there's nothing wrong with steak and lobster but man I'm satiated right and that makes you look around what what might what might do different but it doesn't usually make you change it just opens your mind to change then you need the second element and that is dissatisfaction now it's not just you're doing it it's not as good now you're doing it and it doesn't feel good and you start to feel that in the relationship side you like this I don't I don't want to feel this way then that's still not enough that makes you look more for a change that's the second piece of chemistry the third piece of chemistry is now you hit a threshold thresholds like you ever been in a relationship like way too long you know oh yes brother I'm sorry I want to apologize too to a couple of women um yeah I should have you knew it was wrong you knew it wasn't serving them or serving you but you stayed because it was certain it was hard to change well what if I'm alone afraid to say certain things yeah but if you got to the point where the way you stay is you go it'll get better it was better in the past or you jump to the Future and say it's better but there's a day we hear threshold you go it's been painful in the past it's painful today it's going to be painful forever I'm the F out of here right that's when people start to change when you hit a threshold you get the fourth piece you get an insight and the Insight is what's really true and usually figure it out it's not my partner it's not my job it's me what's going on in me and you make a distinction and that creates an opening like there's a chance you to change your life in that moment you had that when you were here and you couldn't feel anything with this girl you felt dissatisfaction you eventually got to a threshold and you finally said wait a second these drugs are just making me numb I got to do something and you had to jump through the opening because you didn't know was on the other side there's uncertainty a lot of people go through all that and they get to the opening it only stays open for a few moments if you don't do something with the Insight it closes you start all over again you got to go through all the time period of getting satiated and getting dissatisfied again hitting a threshold and some people just never jump through the hole so I used to kick people through the opening you know yeah I've seen a couple videos you done like whoa so but now but now what I do more is I I bring them the opening over and over get them to jump through so they get muscle cuz otherwise it might last a year or two but it's not going to last forever if you do it you got a chance to it lasting for a long time but you went through that chemistry but very few people do yeah you got dissatisfied enough I'm thinking of some comedy Duos who have gotten it done over the years um Key and Peele come to mind Fay and polar um Gillis and mccusker of course and what about the perfect Duo when it comes to Growing your business that's you you and Shopify Shopify is the global Commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business from the launchy own shop stage to the first real life store stage all the way to the did we just hit a million orders stage Shopify is there to help you grow you know I remember uh when we first started selling uh podcast merchandise we were just selling stuff out of my apartment and then it got to the point where we needed help and Shopify does it right now you can sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com Theo all lowercase go to shopify.com tho now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in shopify.com SLO is pornography causing a problem in your life that's a good question it's a real question it has in mind it has at certain periods in my life uh watching porno and everything and watching porno was making me it was ruining my life it was ruining my life man May me feel just so much shame that's what it did well watching pornography has become commonplace today and often times men will use porno to numb the pain of loneliness boredom anxiety and depression that's why I want to introduce you to my friend Stephen Walt Steve is the founder of Valor recovery he is a dear friend of mine he is a dear friend of mine and Valor recovery is a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity that's right their coaches are in long-term recovery and they will be your partner mentor and spiritual guide to transcend problematic behaviors there is zero Commitment if if you reach out to them it's just the first step and trying to figure out if you may need some help if you can get some help to learn more about Valor recovery please visit them at Valor recovery coaching.com or email them at admin Valor recovery coaching.com the links will be uh on the YouTube and again there's no commit when you commitment when you reach out to them um but I promise you uh only something positive will come uh from you reaching out and figuring out if um if what type of help if any uh could benefit you thank you are you struggling with keeping your website up to date and running your business well a lot of people are and now you can binge all the web design and digital marketing you want with modify that's right we use modify they run our website modify helps you with unlimited web design and redesigns unlimited website updates 247 support and digital advertising if you always wonder well how do I advertise and how do I get people to know about my business online modify can do it plus you'll get a designated designer consider updating your existing website and getting a new one visit modify oy.com Theo for 50% off the last website you'll ever need again visit modify oy.com EO for 50% off the last website you'll ever need um one thing that I think keeps a lot of people from progressing in life and stuff uh is like shame you know how is how is shame it's almost hard to find first of all people can say you're ashamed of yourself and I could I could say that yeah I'm ashamed of myself but it's really a feeling you have to really and it's so like it's like a it's like a it's so vague kind of if that makes any sense but it feels like like one of the biggest sicknesses of our being it it shame is one of the most negative emotions because what it does is it shrinks everything in you and it puts you in such a Negative state that your energy drops so think of this way where your energy is really low you do very little to change things everything seems impossible you don't respond to other people the same level when you're super high energy you've done whatever it takes you're either excited about your future or you're present or you're working on yourself or you're working out like running and you're that high energy same problem happen you can laugh at it crack a joke at it and it's easy right so your energy level with certain emotions increase and other emotions goes through the floor and when you beat yourself up or you have shame or anything like that your energy goes down and then it's even harder to change which then creates more shame see I said I was going to change I didn't change what's what's wrong with me why can't I do this and then you start building up a story that it's something wrong with you and what I try to explain to people there's nothing wrong with you you're not broken you don't need to be fixed I'm not here to be your Guru what you need is there's some patterns some habits in the way you use your mind and your body if we change those habits you'll have a different experience that's all it is but being ashamed will keep you away from that because it'll put the energy so negatively in your body and you're so wiped out that it's like it's impossible right and then when you're in shame you come up all all these negative beliefs about yourself and once you believe something whether do you believe it's true you believe it not is true because what when you believe something's true you'll find evidence for it yeah like I'll give you a little test look around this room right now and notice everything you can see that's brown okay everything you can find it's a test look all around both sides of you anything you see that's brown people at home look at that in your own room what you see is brown okay close your eyes okay tell me everything you just saw that was red now obviously you saw a lot more Brown didn't you yeah why cuz you're looking for it open your eyes Now look for red look for red anywhere you can find red any place you can find red okay okay did you find more red this time how come because I was looking for red that's right once you develop a belief you find what supports it so watch this you will find stuff that's not even there in order to be successful I bet you saw some big called it brown just to feel successful did you right over there I bet you saw some things burgundy and called in bread just so you can feel successful I factored in some of those uh now and later you see what I'm saying if you think you're you're screwed up you're messed up you're going to find and you're going to color yourself that way if you think someone else is a jerk you're G if you think they're your friend and they have a bad day they bad behavior you all they're having a bad day if you think they a bad person then it's always going to be that way what was the first part you said of that if you think whether you think it's true whether you think it's not it's going to be true for you in other words whatever you believe is self-evident you reinforce what you believe you found what you were looking for so you got to train yourself to look for something different that's why I do priming and that's why I do immersion cuz after four or five days of thinking differently seeing differently focusing differently different beliefs you have a different life Yeah a different experience but if you do it for a few minutes you know kind of hard to do so that's why I still do events because immersion has so much power but some people do it through an audio they listen to like an audio 30 minutes a day every day and they develop a new set of habits or they do it by exercising or they do reading a book and then they use it right away so there's lots of ways to get there but immersion is the fastest way it is yeah and you and that's the fastest method and you use it for yourself too of course yeah it's like going to that class why why am I still doing that it's like cuz you got to keep growing and every time you make a new insight it stacks on all the other good things you can stack the negative and be overwhelmed or you can stack the positive and feel this tremendous sense of momentum and that's the other secret momentum you're getting momentum right now it sounds like momentum is like you've ever watched a team and they're getting their butt kicked and then somebody suddenly does something magical they steal the ball they do something and boom it creates a spark and then the other team takes over right momentum shifts everything and momentum comes by doing the right thing over and over and after a while it becomes what you expect to do or another one is certainty you know I work with a lot of great athletes those rings are from all you know that's from you know I own some teams like the lafc football club and the Golden State Warriors on a piece of them the Dodgers on a piece of them but I've also coached them all so those are all national championship rings that I've got so I'm really proud of those rings they're a representation of what I was able to build by working with these people but when you look at the people that are the best of the best they have certainty if you see Steph Curry you know us with the Warriors he makes those three three-point shots I'm almost half half court right he releases the ball he doesn't wait to go through he turns around and just like he already knows it's in like how does he do that he's a genius well true but where did the genius come from he's been shooting 500 shots a day every single day seven days a week for his entire adult life and most of his teens now think about that he's been in the NBA 15 years he's the greatest three-point shooter in the history of the world he made 3,360 something shots now three-point shots no one even close watch this 500 shots a day that's 14,000 shots a month that's 168,000 shots a year that's over 15 years just his professional career a lot 2.52 million shots he's taken in practice so that he can make 3,300 and be the greatest in history so people get rewarded in public for what they practice in private yeah um sometimes I have a tough time feeling proud of myself do you know what that you know and I think I've had other people call in our our show that have talked about that you know what do you think it is I don't know I feel like um I almost feel like there's just there's a disconnect like it doesn't even land on me or I feel like maybe if I feel like I'm proud of myself like if I actually feel proud of myself it'll go against some script that I've always had written or some some thing that was always written inside of me you know it's like it it's almost like it wouldn't if I wrote on the wall of myself I'm proud of you it wouldn't even show up on the wall what emotion would you feel if you saw that um like what emotion would I feel if I saw what I'm proud of myself would you go would you say be pissed off by it would you be annoyed would you just I think I feel ashamed of myself for even thinking it that's interesting and It produced an emotion in you just now even when you just thought about it I saw that flash in your eyes just a little bit of water little bit oh yeah dude we cry on here every week sorry dud beautiful no it's okay but yeah we don't have any we don't have any Shame about that no you shouldn't but I'm say liquid Le leaving your body in a public place as long as Through Your Eyes is not a problem that's what I'm talking about huh yeah yeah don't ask don't ask that's right but my point is there's a real anchor for you there so let me explain it to you everybody has what I call an emotional home yeah do you ever watch like um a place here and let's say you know where the Cyclone happens every 2 or 3 years and wipes out everything or tornado comes through and you see these poor people all their stuff's all over the ground and they're picking it up and you could have a Heart of Stone not to feel they rebuild two years again it happens again two years later happens again some part of you eventually goes why don't you move you know it's like why don't you move a lot of Vietnam's like that it floods New Orleans is like that it floods New Orleans like that so here's why don't they move because it's home it's what they know we have an emotional home we have certain emotions that got built up in your youth I had four fathers I had a mother was pretty intense and I had a lot of emotions that came out of that experience if I didn't reprogram myself I wouldn't be sitting here with you today because my emotional home was not good feelings it's what I was used to so even though it didn't feel good you go there because it's what you know yeah it's comfortable so yeah it almost feel like I was deserting myself if I felt good about myself which is crazy I'd almost feel like I was leaving I don't know yeah it's almost like I know those feelings finish that thought I'm believing what well it's almost like I feel like I know those feelings of not not feeling good about myself so well that I would be I don't want to leave them alone because we always had each other and it was like if I leave them you know if I have you ever have you ever had a friend I leave them I just I won't I don't know does that make sense though yeah it does you won't what if I leave them I'll just be letting them down and they're not even yeah they're not even real but they're to part of me some part of me inside of me I can't even access they're like his brothers that's right that they're your home brother and by the way I I I really appreciate you being so vulnerable because people watching there seeing that allow them to be vulnerable because you're a role model of that because you're funny as but to be able to be that vulnerable is beautiful but let me just tell you something those are not your friends yeah you know and you're not going to abandon those parts of yourself you're going to find these other parts of yourself that need to be in charge it's not to say that you can't have negative emotions or fears or feelings but the ones that don't support you you got to break that pattern and the way you break the pattern first is you start to see you get a new experience if I get you an experience where you feel like you actually felt proud of yourself without those feelings and there was no sense of loss and I did that with you for days and days you'll never go back wow because your brain will go what the f I'm not going back to that those weren't my friends it' be like you know it's like having a friend that beats the out of you every single day and it's like I'm letting him down if I don't let him beat the out of me right it's like oh no I I got to beat there for him cuz I got to be there so he can beat the out of me on face right that's pretty much what happen here dude you're like Dam here we go again and so then what happens though is the reason you went for the antidepressants is it's so overwhelming that numbing at least feels a less I'd rather see you cry and feel the pain even I want you to feel pain as a brother yeah no I'm grateful to feel it I want it out of my system that's right but the next step for you is drawing a line on the sand of how you really want to feel so I'll have people in the event right down I give them like a minute I go draw a line down the middle right down the left side all the positive emotions you feel in an average week not once a year or not once a month the ones you regularly feel whatever good feelings the average emotions in a in a positive week positive so what are some ones you feel in a week in a week uh feel at least at least once a week okay any emotion uh positive start with the positive positive em hopeful okay um thankful yeah um loving yeah um and uh maybe some pride good and so so the pride the pride is sneaking in now that's not ego Pride that's pride of like you're growing well I'm learning about Pride I mean it's like I said it's really hard for me to feel proud of myself you know so stop saying that okay because every time you say that you're rewiring it back into your body over and over it's a story it's like there's an old phrase that says tell a lie big enough T like big enough loud enough and long enough sooner or later people believe it you know who said that Hitler oh I think you going say fouchy well same difference but yeah I didn't know who was going to be we're aligned on that one brother you're a quicker thinker than I am but no so yeah we hear what we're saying but you the conversation you've said with yourself you've done how many times do you think you've said that said what that you know I'm it's hard for me I you know I say I say it a lot yeah it's because I think I'm yeah it's like having a new story for myself I you know part of me is still there's a heavy bit even to my whole new story having a new story even having some success in my life it's almost like some of it feels embarrassing you know and some people feel like you know the word people use is impossible syndrome it's all it's just fear that you're not enough we all have that fear brother I feel that at times I don't feel it much now but I'm 63 years old and I've done a shitload of things for 40 years you know you buil enough pattern yeah I built up new patterns it's like a muscle you know everybody's got the muscle if you use it it grows if you don't use it you lose it right it doesn't ever disappear though it just looks like it's not there but if you demand it you push it beyond what it's comfortable with and that's what you're doing right now you're pushing beyond your comfort you were settling for Comfort to try to survive now you're like f that I want more out of this life you know I'm not going to settle for that but then you keep telling yourself the old story so change your story change your life it sounds overly simplistic but it is true oh I love it I appreciate you saying it yeah yeah I think a lot of this chat has been about that in but look at the positive emotions you wrote down sir you just told me verbally right so you're hopeful you have are you playful or funny or what would be your term around that part of you cuz I didn't hear that part of you I know it's there no I feel like that part of me became such my work that I haven't had as much free time to be that as I like on your own okay cool well so those are the positives what are the negatives you feel in an average week at least once a week not once a month once a year what are the negative emotions you feel um ugly okay um I feel um incapable angry um and I feel uh disappointing okay so which which of those emotions is most powerful for you uh the positive list or the negative list the negative list is more powerful that's true for most people watch this what's an emotion that if it became the dominant emotion in your life one or two it would get rid of those negas like they would have any power over you what would be an emotional state would it be like courage or would it be playfulness or would it be uh uh let's say Joy or would it be grat you've already got gratitude more gratitude what be an emotion that's so strong that it would get rid of the disappointment probably love you know there you go that's your core brother I didn't hear you say that on the first one that's all you really want it's probably why you do this podcast it's probably why you make people laugh me too by the way only reason I do what I do is I love people and I love to see people happy because I was so unhappy myself and I got out of it so I was so grateful it's like I don't it's like you know I feed you know 100 million people a year 100 million meals doing I've done a billion meals in the last eight years Christ dude that's almost that's what that's what McDonald's did isn't it and it was free they're pretty cheap at McDonald's but dang dude dud but I did it not because I'm a good person I did it because I grew up and I had no money and no food when I was 11 somebody came and fed us on Thanksgiving and I was like that made me believe strangers care strangers care about me and they care about strangers and so I fell in love with people and I want to make people feel happy and I know what it feels like not food I know what it feels like to be absolutely depressed and miserable and saying do I even need to stick around in this life right so I don't want anybody else to feel that so it drove me to find answers not just for me once I found them for me I wanted to help as many people as I can why don't want to do it cuz I love love cuz when you help people that much I mean I have so much love my life it's ridiculous I get stopped on the street every day and people don't come up and say oh I like your show or something come up and go you changed my life oh my God I love you Tony Robins and I always say no I didn't do it you did it but I'm glad I helped but I love the love that comes from it yeah so we all really want love but we're afraid we're not enough and you my friend you are growing like a weed right now cuz you're doing things most people never get out of and I'm not blowing smoke your way I'm not a no I don't feel I don't feel that man I appreciate you saying it yeah truth but you got to you got to know notice your progress and you got you got to stack the good and then you got to stop the old story and the minute you start to say that phrase that's an old story it's not true anymore yeah I think a part of me is afraid that I'm going to leave a part of me like um if I you know if I even if I be successful so let's investigate that for a second like if I be successful I'm going to leave a part of me behind you know well then you're effed right now because you're already successful you got I don't know how many millions of people I'm sure that watch your podcast you make people laugh all over the world people that embarrassed sometimes but all those emotions are old habits they're just habits so I understand that and by the way when you feel embarrassed or you feel these negative emotions yeah it also makes you feel for yourself for a little bit so that's the other part you might be afraid of like some people take care of every well like for some I don't know if this is you but some people are so busy trying to make everybody else happy all the time they don't take care of themselves unless it's a big ass problem and then for the the first time even it's a negative feeling at least I'm feeling for myself I'm feeling for me and that might be what you're afraid of losing let's try it for a second here what if I told you you could go back and feel like as much as you want it'll never stop right but you don't have to have it be the predominant emotion of your life that you this need to beat yourself up or be ashamed or not be too happy that it's an old story that got wired a long time ago and it has nothing to do with who you really are but when you keep telling yourself it's like my friend I need to take care of I'm going lose a part of myself no you'll never lose that part there's a part of me that would be a victim very easily I was beat as a child my mom was a beautiful woman I'm not denigrating her when she put when she put when she put alcohol together with prescription drugs she was crazy and I was 5'1 in high school believe it or not I'm 67 now I told people the difference I tell people the difference is personal growth right but I had a tumor in my brain that made me grow but I was this little guy she would slam my head against it she'd Put liquid soap down my throat cuz she said I was lying and I wasn't lying and when the person you love most is trying to hurt you you can do a number on your head but I look back now and fortunately I didn't let that stop me and I didn't settle for that I struggled for a long time I look back on I can honestly tell you if she was the mother I'd hope she'd been like if I was wellfed you really think I'd be trying to feed a bill you a tri not a billion people now I'm trying to feed 100 billion people you think I would be spending my time doing that if I was a wellfed kid I don't think so if she had been the mother I want I wouldn't have become the man I'm proud to be yeah so those emotions are not you they were a part of your past they were a pattern it's a pattern of what you do with your body and breathe but it meets some of your needs to feel feel yourself or feel sorry for yourself or feel sad right you follow me it's like a self-pity thing a little bit but what you're really wanting is not self-pity you're wanting self-love you just haven't learned how to give it to yourself my way of doing that is gratitude CU When you're grateful love flows naturally is that a common pattern that sometimes cuz I noticed over like a about two years I noticed that I one of my biggest addictions sometimes was self-pity I didn't even realize it I thought I was helping myself by like focusing on myself but really I'd been too I was feeling too pitiful yeah I I didn't it was it was man it was I realized my alcohol was self-pity anytime I also also alcohol is a depressant so what's going to do is lower it feels good in the moment but then it lowers your energy and your blood sugar everything right same for self-pity self-pity same thing now your energy think about it self-pity if you're in self-pity right now 0 to 10 10 total high energy Zero's no energy where are you in self-pity where would you put it oh two yeah where are you when you're feeling excited um where's my energy 0 to 10 yeah uh my energy when I'm feeling excited is like a nine yeah which one do you want to be I'd rather be the nine yeah why the wanton us just do that I know yeah I think but I think you said a lot of it is pattern I think that's the thing and a lot of people I think you don't notice when you're in self-pity man I had no clue like I was still living a life and it was going well and it was going but it was just just a lot of times I was drinking my own self-pity you know and and I don't feel like I do it a lot now but there's times where I can fall back into that so if you do just like if you do it's like oh I'm going to self-pity you don't beat yourself up you just that old pattern I don't do that anymore let's get out and the best way to get out is go for your run do something physical or shift what you're doing or focus on doing something for someone you love any of those things will get you out of your mind because here's the biggest problem all these words you're using are just forms of suffering Pain's part of life suffering you've heard is an option it really is an option but what happens is when you focus on yourself there's always suffering so there's three things will trigger your suffer if you think three words lost less never if you think something you did caused you to lose or have less of or never have love or respect or free time or Financial Freedom or anything yeah I think that's my one I think I feel that something there was something I did that made it that way yes and by the way people do the opposite and some people do both they look at what other people did what the government did what this person did what some system did something outside thems that makes them believe they've lost something or will never have something when you think lost less never about yourself the mind you're not your mind right like it's like all the thoughts you ever thought I want to kill this mother F have you ever had that thought yeah I don't do it but I do think it but you but you just the key is you don't do it I don't do it do you think that's your thought are you the first person to have that thought no how long do you think that thought's been around probably since the Bible I bet probably before yeah right maybe before yeah so if I told you 100 years ago or Cain killed Abel in the Bible That's why I said there yeah that's good point but yeah and also there was definitely people killing each other before that so but but check this out think about this for a second that thought is not your thought you're being used by that thought if I said 100 years ago there's going to be a little box in your pocket and you can pull it out and you'll be able to touch it and see people on the other side of the earth cuz there's invisible waves going around the Earth it's going to come in your box you go read between the lines right it's not going to happen but think about or we're going to fly to the moon in back they used to call the people who said that lunatics that's where the term comes from people thought we could go to the Moon well we've been to the moon and you now have a phone that does those things well thoughts also have been around forever and think of your body is like cable you turn one channel and it brings down a signal of Comedy another channel it's a Horror Picture another channel it's effing drama another channel it's adventure and so when you drop your body of this you get a different channel of what you see feel and tap into than if you're like this or whatever your state is or giggling or laughing and then you get a different channel so the pattern of how we use our body it determines what part of the thoughts we tap into but the biggest thing is if you're going to be pissed off or sad at least get a unique thought one you created don't just copy everybody else every other that ever lived they're just copying it change your body change your life change your story change your life so you've already begun it uhhuh you've gone through the chemistry of being dissatisfied enough to say I'm not going to do the drugs I'm going to start to run now I'm kind of liking this feeling but then you get pulled back a little bit because it's new your old stuff you know well and so you got to just cut it off and again you could do that through imer I'd love to have you come and be one of my events and be my guest and just have your own experience but regardless you can still do it on your own just by changing the Habit changing the Habit you change it enough it's like the more you go down a path the more it gets wired they did this at the UC Irvine they took monkeys they tape four of their fingers down and then they manually bend their finger like this 10,000 times well now they untape the fing of the hands and what does the monkey do right no kidding well you're not a monkey but many people drive to work the same way every day get on the same subway and one day they're supposed to go a different direction get off on a different offramp but their brain so used to it they get off on the wrong off-ramp well that's kind of what you're doing you're get off on the offramp of some old pattern and so what you got to do is stop going down that path start to do it stop it stop so what they found by the way you don't have to do 10,000 times imagine they found they could do it with 12 of these instead of 10,000 get the same wiring and the way they did it was they stimulate the pleasure center of the brain so it's like and each time they did it imagine instead of one threat of connection between neurons in the brain nerve cells in the brain one instead when there's joy there or excitement or pleasure you get a thousand of them so they could do 12 and get the without emotion get the same result of 10,000 m right so we wire ourselves like you can so I have control over that you're saying some people you they don't even notice it though that what was amazing to me for years I didn't notice that's what I was doing yeah well that's that's part of growing right how old are you now may ask I'm 43 right so you know most people when you're think of it this way 0 to 21 is like springtime you don't have to figure anything out you learn you grow things occur you might have problems and upsets but you know it's an interesting life 22 to 42 MH you're kind of the soldier of society you go out and test what you've been like I don't know if I believe the I was told let me try this you think by the way you're Invincible I'm the president of United States a multi-billionaire and have 100 relationships simultaneously and everyone's going to be happy but somewhere around 35 or 40 you know 45 you start going you know relationship's hard and I'm not very good at this and I'm not a billionaire yet well what's the deal here and so then you have to go on a journey the hero's journey you're being called to go into the unknown and try new things and if you step into the unknown you'll meet new mentors new people you'll learn to slay the dragon you'll become the hero in your own life but ages basically 43 to 63 that's the reaping time of your life this is when you're coming brother that's the stage of Life by the when people are the most happy yeah right if they're healthy and the Very happiest is usually 64 to 84 if they're healthy and people can live to 104 oldest people 120 but each stage has different problems and different opportunities so you're entering your power and it's showing up right you got a large audience your your humor become more playful more refined but now you're like I want more I want me to be happy look at you know you know comedians that have killed themselves I mean we can make a long list of people that made everybody happy except themselves oh when you yeah people think of Robin Williams Brody Stevens um those are just a few yeah and there could be a bigger list I'm not good at thinking ofi all those guys you back to go further right you know so if you think about it if you make everybody happy but yourself I I always tell people success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure and so you're starting to go look I want to be fulfilled too I don't want to just be successful on the outside I want I want this to be inside me and you're on the path brother the way you get on the path is you decide what you want and you going to decide I want more than what I had before Second Step you say okay there's a gap between where I am or where I want to be what's getting in the way is it a fear I need to face is it a habit is it an emotion what is it is it a skill I'm missing I need to get I don't know how to do this so someone's got to show me so I can get better once you have faed that you get a little plan together and you start taking action not a perfect plan and then you got to slay your dragons you got to make the change you gota okay so I'm not going to do the drugs anymore okay I'm going to run instead and then you get momentum yeah and you're starting to get momentum so now the only puts the break on your momentum is those old emotional patterns so you got to go that's not me that's an old pattern F that here's what I'm going to do now and here the other part though as long as you focus on yourself you suffer see suffering comes from focusing on you wow that's why contribution that's why contribution is so valuable because when you're doing something for others you're not thinking about you unless you're trying to do it to get something right and a lot of people had to focus on themselves because it was a survival mechanism so they didn't have a choice right so some people you don't even realize it your whole life you might be focused on yourself and you might think well I'm selfish but some of that might be just old habits because you had to focus on yourself to make sure you were okay okay that's right but then what happens is we don't update our software be like it be like using one of those old you know digital or not even digital phones you be like what are you doing you an idiot oh yeah using a pencil yeah I mean what what are you doing the world [Music] pervert but but you it's time to upgrade your software and that's what you're doing you're upgrading your mental software yeah and there's some law I think there's yeah there's a little bit of sense of loss with letting go of the old software because it felt like home yeah exactly right and it's like I I'm old enough I had one of the first phones it was this Motorola phone you ever seen it weigh like 8B it was like a buck a minute and it didn't charge for more than 20 minutes you call the police too but I was so proud to have that phone now like I me sting to I meant sting it would call him was he in the police yes if you give the if you give if you got a phone today they'll give it you for free as long as you got a contract and you got everything on you got 100,000 songs you got access to everything so why would you go back to the old oh I kind of miss it okay well go get your on those phones you can go visit it go put it in some part of your house and go visit for a little while if you want to but after a while you get bored with it and you'll move into the new stuff and that's what's happening for you brother yeah once you evolve into something new yeah once you make a change it really does feel good it's just hard to make it sometimes but I'll tell you I'll tell you one more secret M for changes to last it has to become your identity let me explain we all have a way of defining ourselves to ourselves so for example if you see Lance Armstrong right was the greatest biker of all time he gets told that he has cancer not just cancer cancer in his lungs cancer in his brain and oh yeah in your testicles oh by the way I ride a bike for a living they told was going to die but his core belief is I always find the way so he survived cancer most people don't he also found a way to win no matter what he broke the rules to do it that cost his brand and so forth but the same thing that made him healthy actually got him into trouble in the biking side but before he used drugs he was still unbelievable one of the best in the world and guess what he got there because of a belief so you have to have a new identity his identity is I find the way made him healthy so think of it this way if I set the thermostat in this room at I think it'll relate to this let's say 68 degrees okay all right and that's a metaphor for your comfort zone your identity this is you know that's 68 degrees is how much not how much money I want but what you know what I'm used to 68 degrees is what I'm used to in a relationship it's not the it's not what I want but you know it's okay you know it's pretty good it's what I know you know so think about as comfort zone now if the temperature drops to 65 64 62 59 all of a sudden the brain the computer goes hey you're a 68 degree or what are you doing at 59 and I'm sure you've experienced it like this is and they like boom suddenly the heaters kick on and you got drive and you go deal with it you go lose the weight or you get off the drugs you do whatever it is but here's the part that most people understand let's say you get back to where you were and now you get new momentum and you're doing better you go to 69 70 80 89 9 99 degrees and all a sudden the brain goes what the hell you doing up here you're a 68 deger you're not a 99 deger and the first thing that happens is the heaters stop and you stop growing and then that's not enough the air conditioners kick on and you start to sabotage yourself till you get back to where you believe you are so cigarettes if you you used to smoke right so if I came to you today and I offer you a cigarette what would you say yes sir say nobody or nobody no sir no no sir no sir nobody okay you know so why cuz I don't want it yeah why cuz I don't doesn't make me happy anymore yeah most people have I you wouldn't say what brand is it you go no and the reason why is you're no longer a smoker it's not your identity ah if you thought you're a smoker you might go what brand is it well maybe I'll have one you know do whatever it is right it's like when people tell me you know I'm on day four of not drinking or not smoking I'm go why you counting so you can tell people how many days you last this time before you go back again it's like when you change your identity I'm not one of those you're not going to do it anymore so you are in the midst of transforming your identity you're in the middle of it right now and you're doing a beautiful job I'm not again blowing smoke I'm not a thanks man I no but I hope you take it in because you need to own that on your own your own instincts have led you to a place of real progress you're not there yet not where you want to be and by when you get wherever there is it won't be enough you'll want to do more because we're all supposed to keep growing that's what makes us happy yeah I want to keep learning I think it's it's important and I like learning about why people feel certain ways yeah that is like uh and so does a lot of our our listeners it's important to a lot of us yes um let me tell you why people feel a lot of us we we don't get understanding nobody kind of explains to you what's going on yeah while you're feeling so it gets confusing you know so like yeah I don't know that I'm changing and I'm feeling sad about you know just that I don't know some of the but let me give you let me give you and your viewers three things cuz what I spent decades so many things I will say you got a lot of things though but it's good I'm loving them I got I got Decades of taking complex things that make them simple because apprciate complexity is the enemy of execution if it's too complex you don't do it right that's exactly what I'm just saying yeah it's to so let me give you three you can think about this for you and your viewers whatever you're feeling right now whether you're pissed off or sad or frustrated or excited or passionate whatever it doesn't matter there's only three things that made you feel that way three patterns the first pattern is what you're doing with your body so let me give you an example if I said there's a depressed person behind curtain number one over there and I'll give a 100,000 donation to your favorite charity I bet you could describe them physically without seeing them depressed person where are their shoulders probably down forward where's their head probably looking like probably maybe something like that that's right are they talking loud or quiet there could be probably a little bit bit subdued maybe that's right fast or slow um probably slow that's right and when they're doing that think about why do you know that because you've practiced this before we all have right but if you take that same person and I do this over and over again and you change what we call their physiology the way they move the way they breath they put their shoulders back they breathe different it literally changes their biochemistry if you change that as a habit you change the biochemistry on a regular basis better than a drug because you're not dependent upon anything second thing determines how you feel so you're your own drug right and you're the dealer and the user exactly right so if you're excited what's a body like yeah you're a little more pumped up yeah is your head up or down up yeah where your shoulders they're there they're good yeah they're loose it's they're doing what they want that's right is the voice monotone or does it have more variety to it variety that's right right so you think about that you're breathing more full or more shallow more full that's right when you're depressed it's more yeah probably more shallow except for some occasional big ones to get you keep you down there that's right well you let it all out and deflate right so we change your breathing we change your movement change your posture and your entire biochemistry will change that fast but people have habits how they use like there's 37 muscles in your your face this is the largest era of unemployment in the country because people do the same facial expression over and and they feel the same feelings over and over again you change the body you change it all now the second thing you change is what you focus on so example I gave you if you're thinking about oh my God they're not here or they're in a car accident you're a worrior if you think they don't give a and they did it again you're going to be pissed off so whatever you focus on you feel even if it's not true you will feel it and then the third one is the language you put to it because words change meaning so if I said to you look during the break we have some nutritious snacks the audience goes you know I got some delicious snacks oh interesting just one word change changes the biochemistry it's not the words other people say to you it's also the words you say to yourself that change your biochemistry and it's not just words there's certain phrases that change what you even perceive so I don't know if you've ever had this when you were a kid but I remember you know I I finally get to sit down and have dinner and I was responsible for all of making the they're doing it all and then my mom or dad would say could you get the salt just said I don't know what the salt is and I'm not lying I don't know the exact GPS location of the salt right I know where the salt is and you know where the salt is the kitchen go get the salt I know where the salt you go get the salt fine oh my God what am I saying in my head I know where the salt is I know where the salt is it's it's over on the second shelf I open it I know I'm really looking I don't know where the salt is it's not here my dad walks by reaches right in front of my face and goes what is this you ever had an experience like that so here's the question did your eyes see the salt no yes they did but your brain did allow you to perceive it because you hypnotized yourself over and over again telling the lie to yourself I don't want to Salt this I to Sal this so it doesn't want to turn you into a liar yourself so it's called a sketa a blind spot so when you tell me yourself but I don't want to lose those friends of mine from the past that made me feel like and you do it over and over again you can't even see the other option that's why our language our focus and our physiology the three of them together control if you make a little change in your body you'll feel a little change in how you feel but for example sound you do you like to sing when no one's around uh not that much I'm not a great singer no I'm not either but when no one's around like in the car great song something like that sometimes yeah yeah so some people they most of us don't sing well so what happens we're in the car we're singing we're rocking we're rapping right you get the the spot SPL you're still doing look over a car next to you somebody staring at you you pick up your cell phone act like you've been talking to somebody or some but what's happened is it makes you feel good to sing because you're using parts of your body you don't normally use they lift it lifts you emotionally and so what happens is that's why even though you don't sound good people like to sing when no one's around but when somebody's around they don't want to sing because they want to be judged yeah right so you can change your focus your language and your physiology wow if you change all three you make a radical change so when we do like a seminar and they have the firewalk M the firewalk is just a metaphor for breaking through whatever stops you but when you get in front of 2,000 Dee burning hot coals you have a state change like all day you might have found really good they're like oh my I can't do it I can't do it I can't do when I look at him I go I couldn't do it either if I talk like this and put my shoulders like this I say Stand Tall put your shoulders back scream yes yes scream yes and I yes yes I said go and then boom the person who couldn't go 10 seconds ago storms across the fire because what we do is based on the state Ren and you can change your state by the way you move by what you focus on and by the language you use change all three radically again and again you change your life Wow Tony man thank you so much for thinking about this stuff with this I know that you have before you go I know you have a book that's coming out the Holy Grail right yes is it okay if we pivot to that for five minutes sure I'd love to okay so I know it's about finances right and it's about the disparity in the world kind of yeah well I don't I've written Three Financial books this is the third one of the trilogy the final the trilogy okay and the first one was money Master the game it's most uh most read most successful Financial book of the last 23 years I'm really proud of it wow but as time went by I wrote that book by interviewing 50 of the smartest Financial people in the world and saying how do I take this complex stuff make it some my billionaire clients love it but the average person can really use it and it shows you how to go from nothing to where you want to be then I wrote a book called unshakable to prepare people for 2020 I didn't know it was going to be Co but I knew there was going to be a giant market change because because you can predict that it's going to come we don't know when but it's going to come and I wanted people prepared and then now there's so many people unprepared for their financial future that they're in the hole and so in order to get where you want to go you need compounding with a tiny amount of money compounding you can get wherever you want like right you know if you start when you're really young you're 19 you save you have no overhead save 300 bucks a month and you put it you know let's say in the stock market where it's an 8% return you can go from 17 to 27 you put very little money in right 3,000 bucks a year roughly but that money will grow over time to provide several million dollars if you stopped at 27 years old you start at 28 and do it you got to put money in until you're 65 and you'll still have less money that's how compounding works right so it doesn't take a lot but if you could compound with a higher rate of return without taking too much risk because you take too much risk risk you lose everything right and is that higher rated return still so it feels like there's not as much it feels very risky these days or it feels like the stock market like it's just a front-facing thing to the public where everything else is done behind the scenes I think that's what a lot of stuff starts to feel like well and and there are some truth to that because there used to be 8,000 stocks now there's only 3,600 and most of them like in the Russell 2000 which is one of the you know the young companies 40% of them aren't even profitable when you look at what's called the S&P 500 the list of the top 500 companies in the stock market there that S&P lists those are the best ones there's about seven that represent about 80% of the profits of what's going on there wow so it's a very small number that has changed over time and we didn't used to people used to in order to protect themselves if you went to financial planner they'd say we'll put this much in stocks and this much in bonds because there's something called correlation or non-correlation when things move the same direction if you invest in both of them and they both go down you got nothing if they both go up it's nice but when they go down it's a problem so I met with this man ray doio some of your viewers may have heard of him Ray doio Ray doio he's the greatest hedge fund investor in history he manages almost $200 billion doll in business oh wow and I interviewed him 14 years ago and became good friends and I asked him a question one time this guy's a genius he literally manages money for countries and he's got the greatest track like 2008 when everybody the market went down whatever was it 38% whatever the number I forget the exact number he was down 3% damn right and by the end of the year he made %. good job I mean just brilliant guy so I I asked Ray I said what is the most important investment principle that the average person or a billionaire would want to know what's made you so successful the most important principle and he didn't even hesitate goes Tony I spent 20 years to figure this out he goes I'm going to tell you the answer and he said it's called the Holy Grail right he goes the Holy Grail of investing is to find 8 to 12 Investments that are not correlated so let me explain stocks are designed to go up and then bonds where they are if stocks go down bonds usually go up but in 2020 they both went down 2008 they both went down and so they don't that doesn't always work and so you've got a lot of risk he said the secret is if you can find 8 to 12 Investments that are not correlated you reduce your risk 80% wow and you increase your upside there is nothing on Earth that's more important you're you can try to pick the right stock or the right Bond or the right piece of real estate but you're going to be wrong you're going to try and do the right time you're going to be wrong the one thing you can count on is reducing the risk that you're write more often and he said that that reduces the risk about the most by 8 to 12 Investments 8 to 12 they're not correlated so what are some examples of just places that things wouldn't be correlated well that's why I wrote this book because the average person thinks okay well I got stocks and bonds and maybe your REITs or real estate and the problem is even reats often will go up and down with the stock market right so I've been around a while I've worked with the best people in the world and I I you know I've done well financially and so I get opportunities at times because I'm well aware of the fact that private Equity private real estate private private credit are actually much bigger businesses for the last 35 years hear this for everybody okay for the last 35 years private Equity firms have done better than every stock market in the world on average better than average of all those so example the S&P 500 the one that most people know in the United States that they you know will invest in if you put that that's over the last 35 years has gone up 99.2% compounded on average per year so you put your money in and it keeps growing it's pretty nice pretty swell yeah but if you an average not by the way when I went to interview people for this I interviewed the 13 biggest private Equity guys in the world who run hundred billion dollars right who make more money than than God basically the smartest ones in the world so to find out what they're doing because these guys all make like 20% plus per year not 14 and a half so 9.2 versus 14.2 14.2 is the average private Equity these are not average that's 50% better per year to grow your finances on let me put that into what people understand understand when you compound what that means if you put a million dollars 35 years ago on the stock market it's worth 26 million right now it's unbelievable but if you put a million in private Equity it's worth 129 million same money same amount of time God yeah so it's like so so most people know they don't know that much yeah but they know private Equity does really well one of the reasons is your money's tied up for five years so if the market goes up and down they don't have to go sell so when the Mark goes down they buy right and they build they buy a company they build it up they make it more valuable and they sell it to another company or they take it public and they when things are good they sell them when things are not they buy so they've got a lot of room and they make money a lot of ways if you put your money into these firms they get 2% of your money every year no matter what for managing it oh W they make money or lose it so if they have a billion dollar fund they make 20 million a year for five years they have $100 million guaranteed before they open their mouth then they get 20% of The Upside if they help it to grow it's not uncommon for these guys to go from a billion to two billion in five years that means they make 20% of that addition billion they make another $200 million they make $300 million on what originally was a billion so when you look at the Fords 400 the richest people in the world and you say are they Tech guys are they real estate guys no the number one are Financial Services it's private Equity so watch this this is mindboggling because this sounds like it's all for rich people that's what I want to tell you okay I'm just saying that so no and you're right and it has been but here's what's changed Congress the house just passed a law bipartisan that said the richest people in the world having access to this is not fair M and the argument has been well it's more sophisticated well they came up with a way to do it which is you made money money building a business you don't know about investing but you get to make these Investments if you can get in they passed the law that now says and now house has done it Christmas vacations just come they're coming back and they're going to vote in the Senate looks like it's going to pass there as well you can take a test I can show you a study for you pass the test you get access to these things but there's another problem access because it's like buying an exotic car if you you got like a uh you know one of the new Ferraris not not a standard one of you know one of the high-end Ferraris there's a line of people waiting they buy them all just like that so it's not enough you have money you got to know the right people so these funds you know as I got more money and I was more famous I knew people I could get into some of these funds but I could get a sliver some I couldn't even get in there already sold out I like I was so frustrated so one day I'm talking to my friend Paul tutor Jones's a partner that broke off and started his own business and I was basically saying this is so frustrating because these opportunities are so huge but I've got resources but I can't even get in yeah he said Tony I'm going to tell you a little secret I'll tell you where I put most of my money and I'm leaning forward because this is a big big player right yeah yeah get the shovel huh tell tell me tell me what it is and he he goes there's this company in Texas that does something really unique there's a few but they're the best I've seen it's in Texas you normally you hear Singapore London New York right he in Connecticut he goes yeah he said Tony you don't have to fight to become an investor in one of those funds he said when you are an investor in a private Equity they call you a limited partner that's the legal name they use for it okay the owner of the fund and private Equity just what explain what it is really fast it's buying companies that are not public okay which is most companies right and you build it they put money in it they bring new CEO they build a new team they do a new marketing they make the company stronger and they sell it when you sell a business you get a multiple on the profits okay got it so you're investing in those sorts of things that's private Equity that's right and they have funds that invest over a period of time and they but they're not open to the public well they're open to the public but usually they're gone if they're really good oh they're really gone they're gone right right away right so he says to me he goes Tony you can become an owner in the business itself and all those funds not just own a fund and you can get the same two and 20 like you earn the 2% in 20 you'll make about 10% on your investment per year as an owner oh wow and you get all the funds past present and future the ones they did was low inflation the ones at high inflation the future ones they want to do I'm like how do you do that he goes I'm going introduce you to these guys called Cass Caz they're based out of Houston so I meet this guy it turns out 25 years ago he started his career using my stuff and started this business he's been incredibly successful he's one of the biggest it's called GP Stakes you own a general partnership stake you're an owner you get the benefit of an owner and you own all the funds so I now own a piece of 65 different funds and they're not little funds they're not billion dollar funds they're 100 billion funds like Vista they have1 billion doll and they're growing like we and I get huge income like I'm an owner and I get the upside like an owner and I get what an investor would get all the same and you say well why would they do that are they wanting to retire no years ago they used to just get companies and try to leverage them and sell them for pieces that's old business Nobody Does that anymore they build them but they have to put their own money in too so investors go if you're on the line with me I will invest more so there was a company called Bane that after 2008 when people were shaky they said we're going to raise $4 billion but we're going to put 800 million of our own money in that's kind of the standard now so if you're putting money in you open a new fund every couple years and it's tied up for five years your cash flow can be tight so some they want more money to keep growing so if you know the right people you can do things so now I'm a part of that but anyone can become a part of that all the it's ignorance is not Bliss right ignorance is poverty knowing this changes the game I'll give you another one so people can learn that in this book though yeah explain exactly how to do it okay and then um another one like all these Rings right for years I want you know I wanted to be a professional athlete I wasn't good enough so it didn't work out well but then I was like wow I got to work with all these athletes and turn them around some the best in the world you know you I get to visit with a guy like Tom Brady go you know go work with all these guys you know see what they're like and what they're doing well I started turning these teams around and I started getting the championship rings that I would have had but I've got them here from hockey I've got them here from NBA I've got them all these dreams came true in this all a whole different way I mean how many people like Michael Jordan a few other people have six MVP rings I got six rings e anyway especially if it's a man you know unless they're Italian if it's a man you know unless they're 100% like but they're cherishing me but here's what I'm tell you so then I was like I want to own a sports team you know I finally got enough money to participate and I finally uh you know then they they take a microscope to for a year to do it it's unbelievable and so I helped build the lafc football club I was one of the original investors in it it's great but now there's a new rule that's come about in the last couple years it's specialized and it allows you to buy a piece even a tiny piece of multiple sports teams and be an owner and the reason you want to do it is this Sports is not tied to the stock market it's non-correlated stock market goes up or down doesn't affect sports sports have done well during recessions depressions player strikes covid everything they've still done well to return from from Major League Baseball from the NHL from the NBA and from soccer those four spots keeps growing has averaged at 18 % a year in the last 10 years so it's twice as much as the stock market to give you an idea and it's fun but here's the best part they're no longer just putting butts in seats and they have a legal Monopoly they can they own that City no one else can compete with them and their fans word fan comes from Fanatics their customers are Fanatics multiple Generations so my friend Peter goober he bought the Dodgers with my other friend Magic Johnson and a group of other people and no one had PID he paid $2 billion to LA Dodgers two billion no one had paid a billion for a team yet and everybody said it should have been a billion overpaid by a billion so I went to Peter and I said Peter I know you're no dumb he's my partner in businesses we own sports team together lafc and I said uh you got to tell me the secret because I know you're not dumb you're not going to overpay by a billion dollars that's a lot he says to me he goes Tony you know he's made 52 Academy Award made movies he's a total genius so he said you know I'm not dumb you're right he goes tell you what I want to leave you in suspense I'm going to make an announcement in two days days then you call me come on over and we'll laugh together so sure enough two days later they announce he paid two billion for the team he sold the local TV rights for $7 billion and made 5 billion instantly no way then just for the soccer no that's for football I excuse me for the LA Dodgers oh for the Dodgers he sold the rights yeah so s billion now you also when you own a sports team the NBA MLB Major League Baseball whatever you get a piece of the ad revenue for every single team doesn't matter if big or small so his local rights alone made him 5 billion so you probably saw the the gentleman he just brought on of Shani yes and Sh is that his name sh yeah and his and I'm sh sh the amount of money the amount of money he's being paid is more than anybody in history wow and how are they doing it well they're doing it because they know that the ad Revenue they get from Japanese advertisers so forth will pay it times many more do you know if you watch television today because of cord cutting nobody wants to watch commercials so 92 of the last 100 top shows are sports because you don't have think about making a film for Netflix like a series you got to pay actors all that's gone you set up your cameras you shoot it's cheap to do and people are willing to watch because it's live and then they'll watch the ads just like the Super Bowl right people watch all the ads so it that business and they buy the real estate around it they become media Moguls so now I own the Warriors I own the Dodgers I own the Red Sox I own the Pittsburgh Penguins because you have a piece in what what I which I teach in this book it's a piece of these different businesses these Sports businesses and it's non-correlated people can get into that shows you how to do it and you can do a tiny amount small amounts I'll give you one last one bonds you're not probably not very familiar with because you haven't done a lot they caught him what did he do oh not talking about no I'm sorry I'm talking about stock stocks and bonds oh sorry yes no problem but bonds for years because of low interest rates have given you no return so people are taking bigger and bigger risks so back in 2021 you know you're making no money so there's a type of bond that is not very stable it's very risky and they call them high yield bonds they're actually called Junk bonds because they're very risky they were paying 3.9% in 2021 before the interest rates rise and people were buying them because there's no other place to get income I was making 9% on private credit what is private credit yes Banks don't loan to a lot of people people really high-end businesses 100 million to3 billion businesses need money to grow mhm well where do they go they go to private credit now these organizations now loan you money and they usually loaned it you know just a few years ago at like 5% 6% for a loan so banks are borrowing money from people no companies need to borrow money from Banks and Banks don't do it Apple will get their money somebody like that right but a lot of businesses won't there's 200,000 business in the United States between 100 million and 3 billion to give you an idea gigantic they need money so there's become a new market it's these private Equity guys loaning them money but they put their own money in it so they don't sell the loan off so they are really picky about who they put in and they build good long-term relationships they have less than a 1% failure rate no Bank on Earth has that they'd be dreaming about that there though you know if you I'll give you an example that may your audience can relate to if you had a house you had a mortgage that was fixed when interest rates went up you don't care you're still it's only 3% but when you bought a loan a business is usually a floating rate so when interest rates go it rises up so those same private credit firms that loaned you money at three and a half% guess what excuse me five or 6% now it's 11% plus the same loan with the same company and you're making twice or three times as much money as before so when people are taking risks at 3.9% I'm got a 1% failure rate and I'm making 9% now I'm in the high teens on my private credit and I own those firms so I also get the 2% get the 20% and I get the upside on those pieces so those are just three examples I give you seven examples of industries that you can do and show you exactly how to do it and then the second half of the book is these 13 Masters of the Universe these guys that you know like Robert Smith who runs Vista it's a famous firm hundred billion dollars in business he started with he started with nothing he's a the wealthiest african-america in the United States Genius of man I love this man oh hell yeah that's cool he he focuses on one industry and software as a service called SAS but he knows it so well that he can take a company he already knows what to do with a CEO what to do how to grow it he grows it rapidly he's got a whole system for doing it he grows the business and then he sells it to a bigger company or takes it public his returns I can't quote his returns because you have to ask him about it but they're all above 20% for decades wow for decades so think about what that would do to your financial future what would have taken say 10 years to double you can do in three years and so this isn't the only thing you do but it's one of the most important things that most people don't know about and it was never available before now it's available you're saying because of the new legislation a lot of this stuff is available that's correct and is there downside to it I mean there's risk with everything yeah that's right well least amount of risk compared to bonds less okay but then the second other than say treasuries on the private Equity side again since they have your money for a longer period you get a lot larger return but there's less risk the reason there's less risk is because when things drop in the stock market they don't have to sell they go buy Vin right when things are up they go sell Vin so they have more room to play Within time instead of oh my God what I going to do this quarter what I going do get the stock up this day they don't have to do that it allows them to make better decisions got it um they had um by way we give aund my last three books I've done this given 100% of of all the profits in the book go to feeding America so while you're helping yourself you'll help people that are really in need as well same for this one the profits are going to that oh that's amazing man thank you that's cool man I uh I eat you so I know we're all grateful for that you know can I get a copy of the book too of course I sweet man yeah of course um there's like this is my last question so there is we're we're kind of at a time in the world where I think a lot of people are under a little bit it's a precarious time it feels like right un a lot of uncertainty some of that may be media influence some of it may not we don't know but there's just a lot going on there's a lot going on and it used to feel like you could leave world a better place right it used to be something that I think gave people a lot of purpose right like I'm I want to leave the world a better place and I think now there sometimes feels like the you're the world has gotten it's flared up yeah and we can't do that I'm not saying it's true but it sometimes it feels like that and so I think that caused a lot of people to it really takes away a sense of purpose at a level probably an almost limic or animal level that we don't even realize yeah what can people do to combat that the first thing I do is I would cut down my consumption of the news turn off all the things that go on your phone not to become a Hermit or something but you got to remember the news people are good people they don't have bad intent but they have to do one thing they're doing their job their job is make more money for the shareholders there's only one way to do that get more of your eyeballs how do I get your eyeballs upset you anger you produce fear if I do those things we all know in journalism they talk if it beds it leads right it used to be again a plane crashed in Nigeria you didn't know about it now you know about it within seconds so it's there's actually all the studies show there's less violence today but we see everything more magnified right we're also in a stage in kind of History we go through stages and I don't want try to be complex to explain the whole thing to you but if you study a thousand years of Roman history 500 years of Anglo American history we go through 18 20 year Cycles where where we run an emotion as a culture as a whole doesn't mean you're going to feel that way so in the springtime everybody's optimistic I don't mean physical spring I mean that season right and things grow and it's easy so like after World War II we went in springtime everybody's like oh thank God it's over everybody had lots of sex that was the baby boom right oh yeah you know if you were if you were a veteran you were like you got to have a house for free right no money down that thing it was a cool time for a lot of people not everyone but a lot of people yeah yeah the culture right but then from 1945 to 1963 and 63 for the height of optimism Kennedy's the President johnf Kennedy and he gets assassinated and then Robert Kennedy and then Martin Luther King and what happens is we go through a summertime where everything's tested and there's fighting within the country there's it's called Summer it's like it happens every 80 years like clockwork I can take you there's a there's a really cool book is it the Strauss how generational theory is that it that's it that's it you guys got it so if you read St Howen about generational Theory there's there's a book called the fourth turning that I interviewed these guys turning fourth turning it's a book worth reading cuz what you'll be reading about how life is and it's like right now and then they reveal it from 80 years ago from The New York Times and then you read another one it's from 160 years ago and you're like this is crazy so it's a cycle that we go through so after we're done with the optimism we get burnt out we go through the summer of test and upset then we have another good time we have fall where everything's easy you want a house you have no money we'll give you a loan right my buddy easy easy money right and everything's easy then that's always followed by a winter now some Winters are long some are short some are hard some are relatively easy but you never go from Fall to Spring youve got to go through winter right we're in Winter right now so think about it the people that were growing up in try this for size most people don't study their history but just take this for a second if you were born in like 1910 what did that mean well World War I was going on while you were growing up so you were protected you didn't go to war you didn't have to face it your family looked out for you it have been a tough time but you made it through it and we won the war and came home right around that time like now there's a massive technology breakthrough like we're experiencing with AI and so forth what happened we went from nothing to radios televisions cars planes like and the Roaring 20s so if you're growing up and you're in that 0 to 21 you were born in 1910 you're thinking when I'm 1920 I'm getting a car I'm in a party and the kids then were looked down on they were called Flappers cuz they were irresponsible very much like older Generations often talk about Millennials or Millennials are great people but they haven't faced anything really big they think violence is words right you know Chris Rock says if you think violence are words no one slapped the out of you on National Television that's violence that's a different thing right so but when you've never experienced anything you think that's pain because that's your idea of pain right so they're right about that but I have no worries these are going to be the heroes Millennials and z's are going to be heroes of the future here's how I know it 1910 when they turned 19 and they thought they're going to go party what happened it was 1929 and the whole world was upside down suddenly people are jumping out of building standing in food lines the Midwest is a dust ball stock market crash everything so these people had to get tough they were weak as but they had to get tough because it was required to survive so by the way they do 10 years of the depression it's not bad every day there were some ups and downs but pretty rough times lot of soup lot of soup that's a good one but now they turned 29 it's 1939 and that's when World War II breaks out and you and I weren't alive then but Hitler was taking countries one after it looks like we're going to lose yeah they fought that war and one they became what's known as the great generation the greatest Generation cuz they face these difficult things well at the end of the winter it's springtime at Springtime once we got through that then we went through a hot summer think of how the 60s and 70s are so different than the 80s 90s or 2000s right and so we go through these Cycles so we're in Winter right now and winter makes it look much worse than it is but here's the good news about winter it's going to take that younger generation and they're going to become Heroes they're smart they're connected they care but they're not as strong as they will be because they have it's like lifting weights you take a light weight and lift it I don't care how many you do a 100 curls you're not going to get anything yeah you take a weight you can barely lift and do you can only do eight eight curls and your trainer makes you do 11 and you that 11th curl gives you 90% of the growth we're going to go through that experience we already are to some extent but what people need is to create a compelling future they need to know that this went no war is forever no economy is forever no you know plan pandemic or planemic is forever don't get addicted to the story don't fall in that's a trap that's right so you also have to have a plan for yourself and you can see that like if you were the universe or God after the night you create the day you know it's like it works and that's what makes us grow and and winter also gets rid of the weak and strong not only survive but they find a way to thrive when you look at the biggest companies in the world that called Fortune 1000 M 80% excuse me 70% of them were developed during a recession or a depression wow because when you do well then you're going to do well during all the other Seasons so if you start a business right now and it's hard you do it well like I started my business during the last really tough time which was when interest rates were 18% nuh they were really that 18% I'm not lying today if you people are freaking out going 7% oh my God I can't get a house try I bought my first house at 18 years old it was 18% you're not going to make any money at 18% I lost money out the house it was horrible right but that's what it was in those days but I had to get strong and here I am 46 years later and I've done very well well a lot of other people started when it was easy and they're gone yeah wow so that's good it's a good way to look at it man I think it goes back to what we said in the beginning just talk kind of about perspective you know yes like have a perspective perspective have a bigger perspective have a bigger perspective of what's going on in your own life um man I don't think there's anything else you guys think of anything I think we've spent a lot of your time too and and we're I really enjoyed this Theo yeah me too and I really and listen I Lov your humor but I really want to thank you for your vulnerability because I you got a lot of people watching you and you're you're leading by example I'm not being perfect I'm not saying you're supposed to I'm not perfect nobody is yeah but you're growing brother and and those emotions you felt you're going to feel those a lot less as you keep on this track pretty soon there won't be something you identify with you it'll be like cigarettes you'll be like I I by the way do you feel bad about the cigarettes that you're no longer there with them you've left them behind I don't miss them yeah you're not going to miss those negative emotions you it's like I go like you know go like just you know do go visit them hey dude I'm sorry or use a Ouija board like to talk to a pack of winstons or something you know yeah I don't do anything like that I'm glad to hear that but thank you man thank you for taking some time and to uh just help us learn about that because I think a lot of my listeners are really similar to me and so I'm grateful for that and I hope I hope they join me because it's free hope I have a got oh that's January 25th to 27th and um all they got to do is go to timeo rise.com timet rise.com register no cost to it and then it's about about 3 hours a day for 3 days in a row and you'll be blown away it'll give you a new momentum for your New Year dude I'll say this sitting listening to Tony is really really interesting even just being here so if this is anything what it's like um at the summit that's cool man so yeah I'm excited about it man January 25th to 27th I know my my good friend Aaron lvie goes has been to a couple of them and um time to.com time toise summit.com and we'll put the link right here Below guys yeah we'll put the link everywhere and we'll share it we proba about a million million and half people will do it from all over the all over the world 195 countries so you'll meet some cool people too online too which is kind of fun cool man well thank you for first of all just learning about stuff over your life but also being willing to share it I think you know when we don't share stuff it's like it keeps things from other people that's right so um it's been I think a lot of people have have have been uh helped by that and so thank you so much thank you man it's been great yeah cheers brother now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I'm must be Cornerstone oh but when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of my life found I can feel it in my bones but it's going to take