Welcome to Kill Count, where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies, I'm James A. Janisse and today, we're talking about Alien 3, released in 1992 after years of development Hell The first two Alien movies are masterpieces, this one is not. It's a real weird amalgamation of at least three different story ideas, and a whole lot of people behind the scenes trying to control what the movie was Director David Fincher basically disowns the thing, and although there's a special edition "assembly cut" that's very different and probably better, I'm using the Theatrical Cut for this video so we can all see how much of a mess this was when audiences saw it in theaters back in '92. Alien 3 marks another tonal departure from its predecessors, issuing most of the action and sci-fi elements in favor of nihilistic melodrama. It follows Ripley as she finds herself stranded with an alien on a prison planet turned foundry populated by a bunch of murderers and rapists. All these dudes have shaved heads and barely any personality, which is a huge bummer coming off the colorful cast we had in the first team. Thankfully, they're just as good at dying as the memorable folk from those movies, so let's get to the kills The movie begins with a problem in between opening credits we see that an alien egg a somehow made it onto the Sulaco, the ship from the end of Aliens; a facehugger is born and in the process of hugging some face something happens to it That causes it to bleed and create smoke, "Where There's Smoke There's Fire", and the fire sets off an alarm on the ship that drops all the cryo beds into an EEV; an emergency escape vehicle The EEV is jettisoned from the Sulaco and hurdles through space towards Fury 161, a work-study planet for aggressive double y-chromosome criminals, where it crash lands in a body of water. A handful of the planets inmates discover the shuttle and realize that one of the occupants is still alive, they take Ripley's body into the med bay as the movie verifies the death of the other two human evacuees First up is Newt in a cold-hearted death that upset plenty of people, she apparently drowned in her Cryobed from the fire system sprinklers Right off the bat, Alien 3 is like "Naw I don't care about them other movies man" Corporal Hicks is also classified as dead, impaled by wreckage during the crash landing but interestingly enough, the video game "Aliens: Colonial Marines" reveals, this wasn't actually Hicks, but a dude named Turk who woke Hicks up at one point and was knocked into his cryo bed shortly before the ev launch Alien lore, man. It's extensive! the prisoners also find Bishop's body and classify him as unsalvageable, but Imma hold off on adding him to the count right now. As they move the EUV with a crane against some Wizard of Oz looking effects. There's a dog yap yap yapping away at something and it turns out it's the facehuggers, still alive and looking for faces to hug. watch out, little doggy! Inside the facility, superintendent Andrews, the warden of this place gives a big announcement to his crew of inmates about the shuttle crash and who was rescued from it. "The survivor is a woman!" [Cheering and laughing] They're all clamoring because they haven't seen a woman in years, and in a series of relentless low-angle shots we find out they've taken a vow of celibacy, as prisoner Morse explains, which is a part of their religion they follow. Within which, prisoner Dylan is kind of a spiritual leader. More low angles also introduced us to the other two staff members alongside Andrews, his assistant Aaron and medical officer Clement played by Tywin Lannister himself, Charles Dance. when Clemens goes to administer more medicine to Ripley, she wakes up and asks the usual who, what, where? he tells her the deets, and when she asks if the others made it he says no, because a Lannister always shakes his head. Ripley jumps out of bed in her birthday suit to go check out what happened on the ship. Clemens gets her some clothes and escorts her to the EEV that they're hauling in. Ripley rummages around inside until she spies with her crazy blood eye, a burn on the side of Newt's stasis pod. She wants to see the body, so Clemens takes her the facility's morgue, where Ripley presses him to do an autopsy under the guise of looking for communicable diseases, you know like, uh... "Cholera." "Cholera?" yeah, Clemmons, ain't you ever play Oregon Trail? With some pleading, he obliges and cuts open Newt in an off-screen manner, after the original version of the scene was deemed way too graphic by literally everyone who saw it. but Ripley wants to go further than his initial analysis "The chest.... open the chest." And Clemens follows through, because a Lannister always breaks a chest. Ripley's relieved there's no chest burster inside, but before Clemens can ask what kind of prize she was looking for inside this little crackerjack Newt, warden Andrews walks in all pissed off that Ripley has been allowed out of the infirmary. Ripley insists they cremate the bodies and Clemens backs are up, borrowing her lie "an outbreak of Cholera would look extremely bad on a report..." The warden relents and says they can go ahead and burn the bodies if, you know, that's what they're into... Meanwhile, another inmate, Murphy, finds his dog, Spike, with a messed-up face. looks like the face hugger ended up getting ahold of that Rottweiler, and that dog is clearly a Rottweiler not like a Doberman I know dogs... and so we get a real weird Cinematic treat when it comes time for the cremation, as warden Andrews gives a speech with his face superimposed alongside Clemens and Ripley over the other prisoners, all of it intercut with shots of the dog writhing around in pain. really fucking weird Dylan overtakes the warden's speech and gives them much more moving eulogy as the bodies of Newt, and I guess that Turk guy are cast into flames, right as the alien completes its very bloody birthing process, and pops out of that dog. This movie introduces the idea that the Alien is genetically influenced by its host life-form, So alien 3 features a quadrupedal alien known as a runner, nasty lookin thing. Ripley gets a nosebleed at the funerals so maybe that's why she feels the need to shower off, where she also shaves her head at the suggestion of Clemens to avoid the planets lice problem Her buzzcut does nothing to disinterest the inmates there who practically wet themselves at the sight of a lady in their midst. Dylan tries to warn Ripley off by telling her that he and everyone else there is a murderer and rapist of women, but Ripley cool as a cucumber "Well I guess... I must make you nervous." This seems to be good enough for Dylan who simply warns her that they've got a good thing going right now and don't want any Temptations to ruin it. It's afternoon chores time, I guess and Murphy is scraping a giant exhaust pipe with a metal rake or something, when he finds some nasty looking skin on the ground. Kind of like Brett did back in the original Then he sees something down a ventilation shaft and thinks that it's Spike, Yeah, only if Spikes a freakin alien! idiot... the runner spits some acid into Murphy's face, which causes him to and stumble down the shaft that I didn't even know had that decline, straight into a giant nine-foot fan they have their which cuts him all to pieces. Clemens gives Ripley the backstory of fury 161, how it used to be a huge prison labor camp until it was closed a few years back by weyland-yutani 22 of the inmates decide to stay there and do their religious thing and so a staff of three custodians stayed as well to watch over them in the foundry. when he tries to get some info out of her in return she changes the subject real hard. "Are you attracted to me?" "In what way?" "In THAT way." Clemens takes her up on the distraction sex, and damn Charles Dance, you looking pretty good I guess a Lannister always trains his pecs. Andrews yells at Clemens for letting Ripley loose in the first place and tells him that company higher ups gave him a call and told him to keep a close eye on Ripley, Ripley heads back to the Sulako escape vehicle and rips out the ship's giant SIM card, then she goes outside to the junkyard and finds where Bishop's body was chucked. It's just a little dirty. It's still good, it's still good! On her way back inside from the best dumpster dive ever though, She's cornered by a group of inmates who attack her and hold her down against the railing so they can rape her, luckily Dylan enters the ring and knocks him out the box Then proceeds to beat the shit out of the would-be rapists with a pipe He tells Ripley to take off But she makes sure to get her own licks in before she does. In another part of the facility, there's a trio of inmates doing measurements using like, Candles or something this movie's not great at explaining shit to the audience They noticed some of the further place candles are getting blown out so one of them, Rains, goes to check it out, expecting it to be just a prank bro from another inmate. instead, it's just a prank bro from the xenomorph who rears up and knocks him down that eats him in the foreground of the shot the Other two prisoners Boggs, and Golic end up finding Rains's body all bloodied and battered, our fourth killed the movie. When Boggs looks up towards the ceiling, the alien shows itself again, lifting him up to kill him in a way that sprays blood all over Golic's face. Are you proud of yourself Mr. Morph? Yeah, I bet you are! Golic runs a way to avoid giving the alien runner a hat trick. Ripley takes her dumpster bot to a room where she can put some skin flaps back in place and hotwire him like a stolen Camaro He comes to and reads the SIM card for her, so she sits right back and hears a tale. A tale of a broken ship that evac'ed cause a fire started from an acid drip. from an acid trip Then he asks Ripley to just go ahead and deactivate him because he'll never be a whole robot again "I'd rather be nothing" Ripley complies and shuts Bishop down for good So I'll go ahead and add him to our list as the sixth victim of the movie Golic is brought into the med ward, and while the warden thinks he just went crazy and killed Rains and Boggs on his own, Golic insists they were murdered by a creature "It's a dragon!" Ripley pops out of hiding to back up the dragon tale, but is met with the usual resistance from a man with authority. Andrews mocks her for the very idea of the xenomorph and tells her the Company is sending a pickup to retrieve her soon. He also informs her that there are no guns anywhere on the planet "This is a maximum-security prison... And you have no weapons of any kind?" Fun fact the no guns thing was actually a stipulation of Sigourney Weaver who served as a producer on this movie and his very anti-gun In real life despite, admitting that it was fun to shoot some at a range with James Cameron. Back in the infirmary, Ripley starts coming down with a cough so Clemens prescribes her some drugs While he's mixing up his cocktail, he delivers a monologue about his past which is a real nice way for him to go out since he gets surprised killed by the alien who grabs his head and lifts him up to head bite him. His body falls to the ground clean as a whistle, so I guess he doesn't shit gold after all The weird-looking alien crawls up to Ripley and gets all up in her face, in what's probably the most iconic shot of the movie. He says hello twice, once with each jaw. But then he pieces out with Clemens's body and leaves her to live. Andrews has another company meeting where he tells the inmates about the whole "Rains Boggs Golic hullabaloo," and when Ripley rushes in to interrupt him with breaking news about the alien He tries to hush her up, but the alien drops down and pulls him up into the ceiling, leaving nothing But a light drizzle of his blood for all the prisoners to see. With the warden gone, the inmates try to side who should lead them now, Aaron tries to take control But the other guys say he's too dumb. After all his nickname is 85 after his reported IQ, Gillan rejects his own nomination, saying he's not the officer type and turns to Ripley to guide them instead. She starts brainstorming, but ain't nothing that works on this goddamn planet as angry inmate Morse explains to her in a not so pleasant manner They settle on a plan to trap the alien in a nuclear waste Containment room that was never used and then they go check out a bunch of barrels of quinitricetyline "What is quinitricetyline," you ask? like the big stupid idiot you are. it's a highly explosive chemical as inmate, David played by the late Pete Postlethwaite explains to Ripley. "Saw a drum of this stuff fall into a beachhead bunker once the blast put a tug in dry dock for 17 weeks, great stuff!" In case anyone's confused about the plan dylan recaps the whole thing for us "You want to burn it down and out of the pipes, Force it here, slam the door, and trap its ass?" Yep so the inmates start spreading the quinitricetyline all over the ventilation shafts, in the first of various schemes in this movie that involves all these bald dudes getting outsmarted by an alien. Take this guy, Frank who drops his ignition stick But thankfully not all the way down as he climbs down to retrieve it, the alien sees him, and on his way back up He gets grabbed and nommed down by the alien for another kill the ninth of the movie Now his detonator stick does fall all the way down right onto some quinitricetyline. this starts an explosion that tears through all the chambers and incinerates a bunch of dudes, we see a number of guys fly around like they're in a stunt show at Universal Studios, and when all is said and done we have a parade of survivors walking around asking folks to "bring out the dead!" Dylan mentions that the last body they find makes 10, which I'm assuming includes Frank, so I guess that's how many people died here But in all honesty this number doesn't make sense since they say multiple times that there are only 25 dudes on the planet We've already seen 5 die, and there are actually 11 dudes still alive Ripley's still not feeling well so she heads to the Eevee's medical scanner where Aaron helps her run this little tweaky looking thing along a track. It reveals that she's a hostess with the mostess, since she's got a chest burster inside. Oh no, Ripley your nightmares have come true and boy this thing does not take after your good looks Ripley has Aaron get the satellite working But when she wants him to tell the rescue team that's on their way to turn back to avoid the alien getting out, he shuts the whole thing down since he wants to go home to his wife and kid. Ripley leaves him to go look for the alien by herself and Aaron gets a message from the company, saying they bout to be there an Amazon Prime now time and to hold on to that Ripley and don't let go. Ripley's hunt leads her to what she thinks is the alien, but when she smashes it open It's just an oaky boogie pipe filled with buzz the real alien is there turns out But after he drops down to her, he apparently lets her live. She runs to Dylan and asks him to kill her because of her Alien in utero, but he refuses with a pretty good reason "And if it won't kill you then maybe that helps us fight." Dudes got a point, so Ripley acquiesce is as long as he agrees to kill her after the alien is dead. The remaining survivors have a town-hall meeting in a very theatrical looking set, where Ripley tells them the company is probably going to kill them all to get a hold of the alien Just like they did to the Nostromo crew and the marine mission. Dylan reveals the plan is to lead the alien into the metal mold and kill it with liquid hot magma. The inmates will be the bait. Sounds like some kills to me. After inmate Troy does some wiring to get a piston working, they set out to get the alien into the piston chamber and seal it inside So they can push it into the mold and wash it with lava the plan gets going and inmate Kevin finds the alien feasting on a body, this kill is the mystery man that messes up all the counting logic since this dude, apparently named Vincent was nowhere to be seen at that town-hall meeting and yet, here he is getting eaten "Oh well a kills a kill, right?" The alien chases Kevin through the halls in a ridiculous first-person Perspective it climbs on walls and the ceiling and it's like this for the next 10 minutes with only the occasional shot Of the full alien body and the weird-looking effects for it. the plan results in a lot of kills the first is Troy, who kind of loses himself and rounds a corner straight into the alien He screams and is killed off screen, and that's one less ball dude for me to keep track of thanks, Troy Next up is sadly David when the alien gets the drop on him, once screaming a head bite later This movie is short a mighty fine actor, even if the role I associate him most with is Roland Tambo from lost world. Kevin, the guy who found the alien killing Vincent now finds the alien on the ceiling and is attacked, Dylan comes in right away and pulls him down from the aliens feeding session then drags him back into the piston chamber It turns out it was all for naught as Kevin bleeds out and dies. It's not your fault Dylan It's not your fault. The alien peeks inside the chamber and bites into Kevin's body so inmate Eric starts the piston up, but alien peaces out so everyone runs out to try to get him back in. Sorry, does this whole thing feel pretty Scooby-Doo to anyone else? While she's running around in the tunnels, Ripley finds two more bodies and after spending way too much time logicing it out, I've determined these two are inmates Eric and William I don't know why it matters that I know this but I feel like it does. Inmate Jude finds himself running from the alien because he doesn't want to let her into his heart But right when he's almost in the piston chamber He gets nabbed and pulled back into the hallway by the alien in one of the bloodier kills of the movie. Morse and Gregor run straight into each other and while they're having a giggle there mate the alien runs down the hall and destroys gregor's throat getting blood all Over Morse's face. Yeah next time take this shit more seriously, fellas. Ripley shows up and starts teasing the alien with fire then grabs his tail and plays a game with tug-a-morph Dylan and Ripley lure the alien and it's creepy fucking effects into the piston chamber where Morse seals the final door to lock all three of them inside piston does his thing pushing the alien back and back until it slams shut behind it trapping the xenomorph and Ripley and Dillon in the Metal mold of the facility. Ripley starts climbing out of it, but Dillon stays to keep the alien down there. the alien charges him and starts tearing him apart while he says really cool stuff like is that all you've got Morse is up top at the controls of the lead pouring machine, so Ripley tells him to go ahead "Pour it!" Down comes the magma, covering the alien and killing Dylan in its beautiful silver waterfall I know some people don't like the lack of guns thing But I like that it forced a more inventive solution to the alien problem Although it turns out this plan isn't fully alien proof as the metal casted Menace leaps out of the lead pool then onto a platform Where it shakes around like a wet dog Ripley's all like yo you coming in hot there so she tells the alien to chill and gives it a cold shower. the temperature change turns the alien into CGI as it cracks and blows up, finally destroying it once and for all. Boom, Baby. While Ripley and the inmates have been having this fun adventure, people from the company have landed at the facility and are greeted by Aaron with open arms, they immediately asked where Ripley is and when they corner her in the foundry the leader of the group reveals himself "Bishop?" "Ripley." But that's not an android, it's a man, baby... or at least he says he is, claiming to be the dude who designed Bishop He tries to tell Ripley that they're there to help her, but when he asks her to trust him She says no she and Morse take a platform out over the lava and one of the scientists shoots Morse in the leg, in response Aaron grabs a pipe and takes it to bishops back so we shot down by the most well-armed Scientists in the galaxy. He falls off a platform to his death, leaving Morse as the only surviving original Inhabitant of Fury 161. Now Ripley may not be on drag race, but damn she know how a Death Drop. cause as Bishop begs her not to "NOOOOOOOO" She free falls backwards down into the lava pit on her way down But only in the theatrical release a chestburster pops out and what's got to be the most confusing birth of all time, Ripley becomes our 29th and final victim of the movie, and regardless of how you feel about this movie, there's no denying This is an iconic moment in the franchise Morse is led away by the company squad and the facility is shut down entirely, end of transmission. Like I said, one mess of a movie, but also one with more kills than either the first two here I'll show my work. Let's go the numbers "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" 29 people died in alien 3, as well as a Rottweiler, not a Doberman. the human victims include the only two female characters, Newt and Ripley with the other 27 male giving us a very imbalanced gender distribution at a runtime of 115 minutes, that comes out to a kill on average less than every four minutes a much quicker pace for the series than before I'll give the Golden Chainsaw for coolest kill to Clemens It's real quick But it looks like a great practical effect of a shattering skull plus his death so early on took me by surprise. Dull Machete for lamest kill will be Troy who just rounds a corner, and is never seen again. And that's it alien 3 was not well received and considered a major downgrade to the first two films I'll try and do a video one day comparing the assembly cut to the theatrical release But for now, let's just finish off the original series with Alien Resurrection next week, until then I'm James A. Janisse, this has been the Kill Count. Hey guys. Thanks a lot for watching my kill count for alien 3 I want to thank a couple of my patrons like Ryan Jabari and Joe James or May I feel like I fell into Stockholm Syndrome with this movie the more I edited it the more I liked it. It's trying to do a lot. It just had a lot going up against also Charles Dance is awesome. Thanksgiving is coming up. What are you guys thankful for? Cause I'm thankful for all of you Thank you guys so much for watching and being subscribers. See you next week