Transcript for:
Bondage and Liberation

What is bondage? What is liberation? To be plagued by desires is bondage, and to be free from desires is liberation. It does not mention daily prayers, scriptural study, or observing silence. When it comes to liberation, only one thing is said - exhaustion of your 'vasanas' - desires. And what is bondage? Attachment to your vasanas, wanting to fulfil it. This... What is liberation? Liberation - exhaustion of vasanas. One by one, in short. Liberation - exhaustion of vasanas. The path to liberation? Thinning of your vasanas. Little by little, loosening them, such that, even if the object is in front of you, no desire arises; such a state. What is liberation? (Exhaustion of vasanas) Exhaustion... And what is the path to liberation? (Thinning...) Thinning of the vasanas. What is bondage? To remain plagued by vasanas. What is the path of bondage? Thickening of your vasanas, tightening of your vasanas. Rather than the desires that exist; by indulging in them, by thinking about them, by desiring more and more; you have made it more and more compulsive that as soon as the vasana arises, you must fulfil it. You have made it compulsive. That is the path of bondage. Exhaustion of vasanas - liberation. Thinning of the vasanas (- path of liberation) Bondage - plagued by vasanas. The path of bondage - thickening, tightening of the vasanas; to go on making it more and more deep-rooted. That's it. Over. Now, you may wonder - what exactly is vasana? What is vasana? How is it formed? Whatever we have done in the past, it's not in our hands now. Our past is not in our hands. 'Why did we do this in our past births? Why did we wish for this? Why did we form such impressions?' All that is not in our hands now. But the present... It is also mentioned in the composition: The present. The present is in your hands, right? So, in the present, instead of thickening, if I turn towards thinning, then my life will be fruitful. If I can reach till exhausting all vasanas, then it is the best. But even if efforts are made towards the exhaustion of vasanas... So, what is this vasana? Every thought... Oh! Are you making running notes? Then I will speak even slower. Every thought, every feeling, every imagination, every perception. Every thought, every feeling that arises, every imagination - all these create an impression on the mind. All these create an impression on the mind. Yet, I will not call that impression a vasana. Every vasana is an impression, but every impression is not a vasana. I will explain. Try to understand this. This teaching is truly very important. It will give rise to focus and passion in your spiritual practices on the path of liberation. Your efforts will increase in the right direction. So, every thought, every feeling, every imagination, perception, everything; everything forms an impression on the mind. When these impressions are associated with like or dislike, they become deep-rooted. And these deep-rooted, solidified impressions is vasana. Because even after exhausting your vasanas, you will remember everything, because you don't have memory loss. Whatever impressions you have, will be remembered. When you hear 'Dharampur', a picture will come in front of your eyes, But it may not be vasana. So, memory loss is not liberation. I said - being free from vasanas is liberation. So, every impression is not necessarily a vasana. But every vasana is always an impression, which is associated with a like or a dislike feeling. As soon as you remember it, do you feel enthusiastic? Or as soon as you remember it, you feel 'Oh No!' When it is associated with some like or dislike, then that impression becomes deep-rooted. And these solidified impressions - that is vasana. Very clear? So, what is vasana? Don't make it very complicated. vasana - it has the word 'vas' - odour. That which has an odour. What do you call a 'kanda' in Ghatkopar? 'Oniyon.' In South Mumbai, it is called an onion, but it is the same thing. So, the odour that remains after eating an onion, that odour is vasana. And because of that odour which remains; because of the impressions of likes-dislikes which remain, the desire arises to repeat that sensual indulgence over and over again. Understood? Then, whether it is a song, food or sensual pleasures. But as soon as you remember it, the feeling of 'Once more' that arises... "The corn we had eaten was so delicious, right? The boiled corn which we had eaten." Now if nothing happens to you, your vasanas are weak, or they have been exhausted. They are exhausted or they are weak; because you may not realise it, but the 'Mmmmmm' that you did shows that there is vasana. 'Mmmmmmm, corn! If corn is served in the evening meal, it will be good.' That way. So, try to understand: as soon as you feel this the moment the desire awakens, then that impression is vasana. That impression is vasana. So, what gives rise to the feeling of 'Once more'; 'Once more I want to repeat it', that feeling which arises; that becomes vasana. Stronger the vasana - stronger the desire. To the level - it becomes a compulsive feeling. As if compulsory, I must do this, otherwise, I will become miserable. Once the vasana is fulfilled, you feel happy. If the vasana is not fulfilled, you feel sad. See, you didn't say not happy; sad. You will create another feeling. Not just that you are not happy, "Oh! There is no corn?" Sad, and from sad - bad. Then sponsor it, then they will give you corn, what is the problem with that? You try to understand - if it was only an impression, whether it does not happen or it happens, it would make no difference. But if it is a vasana,: If it is fulfilled, then you experience happiness; whatever it may be - illusory or temporary, whatever it may be, right now, it is an experience of happiness. And if it is not fulfilled, then you experience sorrow. Such impressions are called vasana, the exhaustion of which is liberation, and the effort to exhaust it - it becomes thin, thin, thin, thin; that is the path to liberation. Are you very clear? So, this solidified impression, due to which... See, they remain unmanifested, unknown to us. You don't realise how much vasana you have at present. It is like... How do you know that you have that vasana within you? 2 things. 1. It prompts desires. So, they prompt desire, and from desire, actions obviously; then you put in the effort to attain it. So, they prompt, let's say actions only. First, they prompt desires, and the desires become so compulsive, that you want to take action and acquire that corn. We will continue with the example of corn. I don't know why corn came here. So, 1... Right now you have that impression of corn. The ones liberated while living also have it or not? If you say 'Corn' in front of them, will he picture the corn in front of his eyes or not? Or will he feel lost? Corn? Is this one who is liberated while living? This is called being lost. This is called memory loss. Will he picture the corn or not? (He will) But there are no actions after that to acquire it. So, they remain unknown to you. How do they become known to you? 1. Prompts actions. 2. There is a reaction to the results obtained. Ahmedabad, are you understanding? At least a little? No? Okay. You all leave. I cannot tell him to leave, so you leave. So, 1. As soon as it's remembered... The moment you recollect the memory, 'corn' comes and some desire arises, that desire becomes so intense that - 'Corn is available down near the gate.' You feel, 'Let us go in the car... Let us remain light today.' Let us eat 3-4 cobs of corn, but remain light. You will have a lot of water retention if you eat so much corn. It is good in terms of fibre content, but then do not weigh yourself. Every time I have this problem. After eating corn, the next day I weigh myself and my weight is 1 kg more. And the next day, my weight becomes 1 kg less. I say, "See, in one day, I reduced 1 kg." Actually, it's a water retention problem. But you can have... See, corn is corn now. In Ghatkopar, it is called maize, here it is called corn. But that is also same. But for both, the same thing comes in front of your eyes, then what is the problem? And if there is no problem, then why am I saying? Okay. So 2 ways... vasana remains unknown. So many vasanas are lying within that you don't even realise it. You realise it only twice. 1. It prompts actions. It gives rise to action... The desire arises to acquire the corn, and it prompts efforts. Then you realise, 'No, I have vasana for corn within me. It is not just an impression, there is a deep-rooted liking for it within me.' 1st. And 2. Results obtained, and a reaction towards it. You got the corn, happiness! You go to the gate and they say, "Today, there is no corn." Oh! So much about corn, so much... I have not spoken about corn, I have spoken about elimination of vasanas. You assume that what you remember, that is what I have spoken ! 1. They remain within you in the form of like or dislike. They remain in your mind in the form of likes or dislikes towards the objects. Until then, you do not even realise it. When they go ahead and manifest as a desire, at that time, you realise slightly, that for all these things, for small things, 'In which glass should I be served water.' I have a liking for that too. Should I be served in glass, or in steel, or in earthenware, or in that? Immediately, as soon as it is served, you feel, 'Ugh! I won't drink from this.' But till the likes-dislikes are lying within, it remains unknown to you. You do not even realise you have it. When it comes at the level of desire, you realise a little that there is vasana within. And when it comes at the level of action; when it comes to the level of effort - 'Anyhow, even if we have to go far, we will go and eat corn. It's not here? Then let us go to Valsad. At least let us go to the crossroads in Dharampur. If we don't get it there, let's go to Valsad. If we don't get it in Valsad, let's go to Surat. And if we don't get it in Surat, let's go to Mumbai.' So, when it becomes compulsive, 'At any cost, I should get corn... Why can't I get it? I have money, I have a BMW. I can go, so why should I not go and eat?' It is edible and also cheap. It must cost ₹20-25. You told me it costs ₹20, so... You pay the balance amount above that. So you understand - the vasana remains unknown. It is lying in the form of a like or dislike. When that manifests a little, as a desire, Then you get a slight indication that you have a vasana regarding this. And in that too, when it reaches the level of action, compulsive desire... What does compulsive desire mean? At any cost. Then it becomes... Then you come to know that it is a vasana in me. You come to know. It manifests at that time. Till then, it remains unmanifested. So usually, you will not even think of corn. But now, when you return to Ahmedabad, on the way, if you see a corn seller, you will say, "Let us stop! There is so much in corn, that we understood in the satsang!" Then you will realise that this was lying within in the form of likes or dislikes, which took the form of a desire, and then manifested as expression. Now, what is weak vasana and what is strong vasana? What is weak vasana and what is strong vasana? It is so simple. When the desire arises, and very easily you can dismiss it, then it is weak vasana. When the desire arises, and with little effort... 'Let it be, I don't want to get into all this.' And the desire ceases, then what is this vasana called? Weak vasana. Strong vasana? Either you can't dismiss it, or you try to dismiss it with a lot of pain and struggle. 'I don't want to look, I don't want to look that way, I don't want to look that way.' So much effort, so much pain, so much struggle, and yet, you may not be able to dismiss it by hook or... Is it 'cook' or 'crook'? It is 'crook', okay. Look at this, Fellowship is teaching Activity - names of schools! This is the effect of the fifth era! We learnt this in KG, what about you? No problem. So, by hook or by crook... See, I yet remember, Our family has always been very fond of eating, and very fond of watching movies. So, during school life, every Friday night, the whole family goes. We didn't even know that it was a vasana, because it was like a rule in the family. On Friday, not the first show, but we would see the last show. Because we would have school, tuition etc. I had one my tuitions in Fellowship only. I had taken up INT drama classes. But I could not do drama, so I was dismissed. But I used to come after school. Since then, I did not like it. Firstly, the association with drama, and I was a very shy person, so I was not comfortable with drama. They would give a topic and... They were from INT, your brother's Guru, who was he? No, not Ramdev, there was a lady, was it Veenaben? In short, she used to teach us. I had trouble speaking in Gujarati, and everything... Then I said, "I am handing this over to Pankaj, He will make you proud, and I am taking an exit." Then he did everything, and then he ran away to Chicago. So, the family trend was - how can you think otherwise? If it's a Friday, if it's a 9-12, so that has been the trend till 7th, 8th standard at least. I recollect that. And in that, Ganga-Jamuna was our... On Fridays... See once upon a time, it was a royal place. The elite used to come to watch there. Minerva was called 'Pride of Maharashtra'. Apsara, Minerva, Ganga-Jamuna - cinema houses. So, I recollect, the movie was Khuddar, having the song, 'There is an uproar in the entire town...' I feel I have not missed any of Amitabh's movies. The ones that have come out later may have been missed, but I have not missed any of his movies of that time. I remember which movie I have seen at which cinema house. I saw Sholay in Minerva, I saw Khuddar in Ganga. See, impressions are impressions, desires are not there, but impressions are there. So, I properly recollect going to Ganga, And Khuddar was playing there, and there was something else in Jamuna, And in Ganga... Ganga is the name of a cinema. Don't take it as the river Ganga. So we went and... Houseful. And my father would always remain in the present, and my mother would remain in the future. She would keep saying that we should book in advance, but my father would say, "We will see, we will see." And finally, we land up there and... Houseful. If my vasana is weak, seeing the board of 'Houseful', we would go back home. Because I am dismissing it. If I am not getting tickets, then some other time. If my vasanas are strong - by hook or by (crook...) At that time, even a colourful ticket was called a black ticket. It may be colourful, but it is bought in black. You come to know which woman or man will have how many tickets. You come to know that. I remember, at that time, we had bought a ticket for ₹200! ₹200 at that time would be equivalent to ₹2000 right now. But once we have gone there, we cannot return. Once we have gone there to watch it; then what would we return home and do? So now I recollect... What is a weak vasana and what is a strong vasana? Weak vasana means - 'If there is 'makai' in the evening meal, it will be good.' I am not saying maize or corn, just makai. If there is makai, and if it is boiled then it will be good. And if it is such, it will be good. But it is not there. What is there? No, because you are the head, so... He must have forgotten, but there must be something. It is not 'Aatham' - 8th day of lunar calendar, so it must be something proper. Aatham is tomorrow. So, something is there. Now, don't expect too much, but something is there. But it is not corn. But my vasana is weak. What is it? Okay, but nothing compared to corn, right? So, corn is not there, but I can easily dismiss it. If it is not there, it is fine. I will eat whatever I want from what is there. Then my vasana is weak. Because it had reached till desire, that if there is corn, it will be good. But if it is not there, I don't have much of a problem. Then my vasana is weak. And what if my vasana is strong? Let the money I have paid here get wasted; you are not going to get any refund. Even if you do not come for the meal, the money you have already paid, you cannot say, "I am going to eat corn, give back the money I paid for the Bhurji." You can't say that. If you do such things, we will have to stop satsangs; we will have to keep doing management only. So, consider it as charity. If you have not enjoyed it, consider it charity. "Now, let us go down by car." Then, my vasana is strong because the desire is compulsive. The vasana is so strong that if it is unavailable here, let us go elsewhere. Don't you often do this? If you do not get it in this shop, You will go to another shop, a third shop, a fourth shop... 'But without taking it, I will not go back home.' If you had done this for self-realisation, you would have attained omniscience. Not self-realisation, you would have attained omniscience. So, that is the time you realise, when it comes to the level of desire, and further than desire, it comes to the level of planning; you want to go to Italy, you want to go here, you want to go there. That will show - 'Oh! Lot of vasanas are there!" You do not realise it in satsang because it does not come on the desire level. But you go out of satsang, and it comes; the like-dislike comes on the desire level, and from desire level, it comes to the action level. And then we will go even further ahead, which is the second point I said - The reaction towards the action. 'It was my desire, but I was not able to see it.' And you become unhappy. You must have planned something. If you go all the way to Italy, you must have planned something. But you did not get that. You especially wanted to go to that place, but could not go. This lady is going to go, so I said Italy. I have no vasana for Italy. This lady is going to go, so she said, "Bapa, You leave for Australia, and I leave for Italy. If You have any work..." What work would I have in Italy? It is fine to go. My guidance is to remain desire-free. Your action should not be desire-prompted, keep trying for that. Your only desire should be for self-realisation, self-realisation, self-realisation, self-realisation. Else, you are spending your money to go, so why would it affect me? But if there's desire, you will go on the path of bondage. To go on the path of liberation is to go on the path of exhausting vasanas, thinning of the vasanas. 'The desire is there, but what will I actually do when I go there? And what will I attain? Instead of that, I should go for a meditation retreat.' You had gone to Vana or where? You had gone to Dehradun? You must have brought something, even if it is the news of saints, but you must have brought something. So, I should try a little to turn within. If you have done this... See, I am speaking of desire in general. In the beginning, spiritual desires will also remain, right? Only the desire for liberation will remain. As you progress, that desire also goes. Then, 'Lord! Even if You are pleased, what will You give me? I do not want anything!' Then, this will be the attitude of the devotee. But before that, he will be like this, right? 'Only the desire for liberation, give me the bliss of liberation, give me Your refuge for lifetimes;' this is there. Then one day, you will be like this - 'What will You give me? My feelings are such that I will keep moving only towards You.' You can't even deny that. Then you will be in the Vivekananda pose. He was a mature devotee. In the Vivekananda pose, like this. In the entire world, if you see Vivekananda, he is always like this. He is not like this. So, 1. When do you know vasanas? When it prompts actions, out of, of course, the desire, out of a compulsive desire. At that time you realise, 'Oh! So much...' You reach till the planning and execution, Then the vasana is quite strong in you. And second, reaction to the results obtained. At that time you realise... Let's say it got cancelled for some reason, Italy got cancelled. Okay, it got cancelled, now we will do whatever else we decide... So much is pending - self-realisation is pending, omniscience is pending, right conduct is pending. We can work in that direction. So, if the reactions are not strong, then your vasanas are not strong. If it happens, then fine. If not, then also fine. Your mind does not get agitated. Your mind does not get disturbed, you don't want to cry, "Oh no! Because of that person... I didn't want to go with him, He cancelled the programme at the end moment", etc. You are not brooding. Do not think that only speaking is a reaction. Regarding that, no other thoughts are going on. If it gets cancelled, you say, "Okay, fine." You wanted to do this much study, wanted to learn Atmasiddhi, etc. Start doing all that, the matter is over. So, your reactions are not strong. You are not reacting to the result. Even if you get it - "Wow! I am going to attain the bliss of liberation." Not even that. And if it gets cancelled, not so much grief, not so much thinking, not so much brooding. This shows that your vasana is not there, or it has become very weak, which is a good sign. Have you developed vasana for disease? "When will I get malaria?" Such a desire has not arisen? Because the desire to be afflicted by disease will not arise. What you consider enjoyment, only desire for that arises. You get it? So, one is this, and the second is - your reactions towards the results. These two. Because your destiny... How can I say favourable? If you have karmic merit, you get the corn. If you say, I will keep a corn seller here next time. You don't need to go till the gate for it. He says: Keep it. We will pay for it and take it. But if it is there... Then shall I organise a fair here during the retreat? Ice cream, corn, etc, should I keep all this? Or do you want to annihilate your vasanas? Whether 'Phurji' or 'Bhurji', how does it matter? You want to eat something so you can last from 8-10 pm. And today, it is very easy to sustain, as there is no lecture. An emotional process will happen. So, it is easy. Even if you don't eat, you can manage. Else, whatever you want to do, you may do. So, these vasanas, which are lying within, as soon as it awakens, it clouds your intellect. It veils your intellect. Then you can say that your intellect does not work. It does work, but in the wrong direction, that is called not working. Then you do not understand anything, that you have not come for a holiday, you have come for your spiritual welfare. Despite having the capacity, your tendency should not be such. You don't think like this. You only think about how to nurture you tendencies. I think it's very clear. How will you know that you have a deep vasana of that object or that person? How will you know? 1. Actions, and 2. Reactions. Through your reactions towards whatever happens; and the desire-prompted actions that this should happen. These 2 things will show you your vasanas. Now, what is the path of liberation? Less vasanas, less worldly vasanas, thinning of the vasanas. What is liberation? Exhaustion of vasanas. So, you try to understand that if you have vasanas, and the moment you get an instrumental cause... Understand this 1 thing - external stimulus, internal impressions. You didn't understand? Did you understand stimulus? The instrumental cause. External stimulus means instrumental cause, internal impressions means the material cause. And when these 2 come together, and your vasanas that are lying within, because of unawareness, an attachment is created. This is what is happening. Awareness is required. So, when an object comes in front of you, immediately, a vasana in relation to it arises. Not necessarily. When the thought of the object also arises in the mind, the vasana arises. From here, most probably no one will eat corn today. But even with the thought of that object, your likes-dislikes start increasing a little. If you don't like it, you will say, "Thank God there is no corn, but there's Bhurji." What is it? Phurji or Bhurji? It is Bhurji? Okay. And if someone likes it, "This is a good option. We will go down and eat it. I had not even thought of this." See, the object is not here, there is no corn here. So, not necessary that the object should be there. The thought of that object can also prompt your, it can awaken your vasana. See how bad this state is. If you don't do anything through satsang... Because you don't even need an object to awaken your vasana. Just think of that object and it awakens Last time, that lady had got into an argument with you. She only... This is just an example. Just remember the incident; even now you will be able to create anger. Even now you can create anger. Now, that person may have died, or may not even be there. So, you don't even need an object for your vasanas. You don't even need an object to awaken your vasanas. You don't even need an object. Just a thought of that object and you are gone. And just imagine someone who is liberated while living, the object is in front of Him, and there is no vasana. And imagine a soul who is in bondage, the object is not in front of him, yet vasanas awaken. Understand this - the object is not in front of him, yet vasanas awaken. And here, the object is in front of him, and yet no vasanas awaken. Because no vasanas remain. The deep-rooted impression is not there. So when you say, "Corn," He remembers the corn. Because impressions in sensory knowledge... Sensory knowledge is not destroyed. The impressions in sensory knowledge, the like-dislikes with that have become very thin. So He remembers it, but no incident takes place. Now instead of corn, remember your son, remember Kikabhai, remember your grandson. He is not here right now, is Kiko here? Just a thought of Kiko... Kiko, you understand, right? Your grandson. All the grandchildren are called Kikas now. The thought of that person, and a feeling of attachment arises. And if he is not there, if he falls ill - you become so hyper. And the first time he makes noises, you say, "Kiko spoke!" He has not spoken. He has just made some noises, nothing else! I do not know what you are hearing, what your attachment is making you hear. "He said Bapa!" He did not say 'Bapa'. He said Papa. You want to hear Bapa. So, try to understand - the vasanas are so deep-rooted. And when he was not there, where were these vasanas for your grandson? The vasanas were there, but you only realised when the object came. That you wanted a toy in your life, you were tired of life. There was boredom. It is called menopause, mental You were tired of the same routine. When he was not there, life was going on or not? And suddenly, after he came, what happened? Because the vasana was lying within, but till the object was not there, it had not reached the desire level, so you didn't know that you like increase in your worldly life. You still want a sister for Kika - Kiki. Now that desire has also arisen within you, you don't know it at present. When she is born, you will realise how much attachment arises. So, this vasana was there in you. Till it does not reach the desire and action level... The enlightened one can see that hidden vasana in you. So, He measures your worthiness in that way. You do not realise it. You get it? So, objects or the thought of the object can arise a vasana in you. You do not know what kind of past impressions are lying within. So, object or... And opposite to that, even if the object is present, by the power of inner awareness, though there may still be a weak vasana within, but inner awareness is such that it does not allow it to reach the desire level. And when vasana is exhausted, my awareness also is effortless. What awareness do I keep? Even if you chant 'Corn, corn', what difference does it make to me? Because the vasana does not remain within me, then my... You will say, "How alert He is! We chanted 'Corn, corn...' 100 times, yet no desire arose." But actually, vasanas have been exhausted. The vasanas have been exhausted of the one who is liberated while living. Just imagine, after the vasanas are exhausted, Janak Videhi does activities of sensual pleasures. Try to even fathom, try to understand what must actually be going on within. He is engaging in sensual activities, he is a king, he is running the kingdom, he is seen engaging in sensual activities, "Give this, do not give this," this also exists. And there is no desire inside, there is no vasana. With the awakening of knowledge, vasanas have been exhausted. The vasana for the objects of the world has been exhausted. So, the object is not there, but vasana can arise by thought of an object. And the object is there, yet vasana does not arise because awareness is strong, or, vasana has been exhausted, so even awareness is effortless. In that, there is effort, that I don't want to get enticed by such things. But here, even awareness has become effortless. This is the path of liberation. So, it happens with maturity. You understand this, right? When you were young, who has played with dolls? And what is the substitute of dolls for boys? Cars. I don't want cars because I will have a problem with cars. I will have a problem with cars as I progress. Because for cars it is still there, "I want to buy a BMW once, I want to buy it once." Niraj wants to buy it. Now I will question him. Nemi told me everything... He is very good at reporting. He has even reported each of your gestures. You had given him fruits, saying, "Now you want to eat only fruits, right?" He said, "Now do not be over-smart and get the food." All the reporting takes place. His reporting is very good. With your inner feelings, he will report to me. He wants to take me around in a big car, right? Now let me question him. He is very loving, but now I will control his love and turn it towards dispassion. He said, "Once I want to take Bapa around in a big car!" See, first of all, Bapa does not want to go around. So do not put it on my name! But suppose you want to drive... Okay, so he will buy the car on that pretext, drive me around once, and then use it himself. I will not let him buy it, I will not. I will come with him in a rickshaw. If he wants to go for a round, I will come. So, tell Him. See the joy of going for a round in a rickshaw, it goes 'taka-tak-taka-tak-taka-tak'. Whatever. So, childhood toys, you try to recollect. Bring up your favourite childhood toy in front of your eyes. Now, have you become mature? Now how does that toy appear? How much desire does it awaken? How much desire does that doll awaken? When I had gone abroad for the first time, I did not bring one thing for myself. I had done shopping for ₹5000. I was a student at that time. ₹5000, which will be equivalent to a lot more now. I am talking about '79. I had done shopping for ₹5000 in '79. I had got a walkie-talkie doll for Rina. When you press it on the stomach, it made sounds, Jack and Jill. It had the records. You had to change the various nursery rhymes. So, I had gone to Hamleys, and whatever was the best of the best... Because I felt that that was my last foreign tour. So I wanted to take everything for these people. For every single seeker who was there at that time; for all of them, from Rome airport... Our flight was in transit. We had gone in Air India. So, I had remembered everyone and got one bar of chocolate for them. Whoever was in the group at that time. It must have been around 200-250 people. And when I returned, everyone would come to meet me, and I would give them a bar. I am not going to do anything like that now. That was for my role and stage at that time. And for her, I brought this. For Rahul, I had got such a big rifle. It was not allowed on the plane with me. They said I would point it at the pilot! So, they took it. So, that doll... Where is it now? That doll. And if that doll comes back in your life, it will be great fun, right? She said, "Bapa, now I am mature. Tomorrow, I am going to turn 50 years old. On 22nd September, I will turn 50 years old. Now, dolls and things... Now, even if I find that doll, I will keep it for my daughter's children. But I will not play with it." Why? Because of maturity. Same thing. Once discernment arises within, you will become so mature, that even if you have all the sensual objects, it will not give rise to any vasanas. That is the maturity of the body and mind, and now no more desire or no more reactions to it. Because of your physical and mental maturity. Similarly, when spiritual maturity arises, even if the entire world is made of gold, you will feel it is like a blade of grass. Param Krupalu Dev says so. Even if the entire world is made of gold, it is still like a blade of grass. Everything that you desired in the past, if you get it now... Whatever you desired in the past, if you get it now; even then, my present feelings will not change at all. Even if it is made of gold, it feels like a blade of grass. You are getting it? Spiritual maturity. But if the spiritual maturity is not there, then the difference of the toys of the kids, and difference of the toys of the elders; the difference is only in the price. How much did the car cost? Since you are talking about cars. How much was it? A car for ₹100? Maybe, whatever you have, a toy for ₹100. Even now, in toys... are you not interested in cars? You want this car, you want that car... So, what difference? You have lived for so many years, what difference has it made? Earlier toys were for ₹100, today's toys are for ₹10 million. You are still attached to that desire - toy. Toys from childhood were for ₹100-200-500. It was fixed - my father would come from Zaveri Bazaar, from the toy shop at Crawford Market, every Friday, he would get a toy for Rahul. He has not got a single toy for me in his entire life. I have never played with toys. At least, I don't recollect it. And he would get a toy for Rahul every Friday, which would go in the trash on Sunday. He would break it into pieces and destroy it. Every Friday, he would bring a toy; that much for his son... like you have for Kika, my father also had the same, so I have seen the world a lot to be like this. There was so much attachment, so much attachment; every Friday, he would bring a toy, on Sunday, my mother would call the scrap dealer and ask, "How much will you give?" So I have seen a lot of such transientness. Tell me, what difference has happened in your life? Earlier, when someone took you to Lonavala, how happy you used to be! I am talking about our times. His Gypsy would come and we would say, "Let's go..." You had a Gypsy, right? 21 people had gone together once in that Gypsy! It was not a bus, it was a Gypsy. Everyone was sitting in each other's lap. Everyone wanted to go with Bapa... At that time, it was Sahebji. So, they wanted to be with Sahebji; 21 people went together. So, you can imagine, 3 levels had sat and gone! And after Lonavala, they returned; And then, perhaps if they had to go to Goa. Now, who will go to Goa? Say Hawaii, say Mauritius, say Maldives. Goa? So what difference has there been in so many years? Even now, you travel; it has just become expensive, that's it. Now whoever wants to go, no one goes to Kodaikanal at all. "Yes, when our helper gets married, we will give him tickets to Kodaikanal." How can we go to Kodaikanal? We can go to America, Australia, New Zealand. How can we go to Kodaikanal!? How can we go to Shimla and Mussoorie!? Have you gone bankrupt? Who goes to Shimla, Mussoorie, Nainital now! See, so what difference has happened? Now, the same game of yours has become more expensive. So, you have not changed at all. You have just substituted your vasanas with different objects and places. Earlier, you were hooked on tea; if you don't drink tea, the engine will not start. You understand engine, right? Intellect, brain. Or else, what will not start? Bharatbhai? Where is he? I saw him here. If you don't drink tea, what will not happen? The 'banjo' does not happen. Is there something like that? Jitubhai and everyone says this, right? They say some Japanese word. Since years, since 1979, you have been saying something like this In short, you are unable to go to the toilet. Atulbhai should also understand this 'banjo'! He said, "Now I don't want to drink tea. I have developed dispassion for it." Coffee! It is even worse than that. Coffee is worse than tea. What have you done? You have just shifted your vasana from one to other, and you feel happy about giving up tea from your life. Think a little deeper, there must be something else which would have entered instead of tea. Because looking at your face, I don't think you have exhausted your vasanas. You shift your vasana and then become happy that you do not have vasana for this. "I do not eat sweets, but I only eat a chocolate every day." I don't eat, I don't eat. Every day, every day, sometimes even 2 or 3. Every day. It can be seen from your size also. So, you feel so proud about not eating sweets. He doesn't understand the nature of his tendencies, and takes pride in the vows he observes. Try to understand - you have only removed your vasana from this object and put it elsewhere. Have you exhausted your vasanas and turned within? So, you are not eating sweets, you are so proud of it. And it will say ahead that you are a hypocrite. You have given up sweets just to keep this pride. If you have given up sweets, you will want to give up everything sweet. This is called a confection. It is not a sweet. This is called a confection. Is Khajur Pak a sweet? Is Doodhi Pak a sweet? Adadiya, that unappealing thing Kathiawadi's make, it is not called a sweet. It is not a sweetmeat... And he will eat everything, calling it something else. 'Chikki' - brittle Indian candy? Chikki? Is chikki a sweet? Say 'Yes' or 'No', so I can eat it in the evening. No, it cannot be called that, right? Fudge? Cooper's fudge? If I can eat Cooper's fudge, then you can eat even 'Sheera' - an Indian sweet during this vow. You can keep this vow and eat sheera too, if Cooper's... You understand Cooper's, right? The fudge from Lonavala, since 1951. Extraordinary! Why is this so? Because you have not given up the vasana for sweets. By shifting it a little here and there, you have become a big renunciate. But you don't realise - all the vasana is now into chikki. Now, seeing peanut chikki, you feel, 'If I get this also, it is enough!' And what is that? The one with the off-putting powder, 'Rajgira' - Kingseed, or what? It was untouchable! But now, when sweets have been given up, even that is fine. I remember in 2009, during the diet programme, I had asked whether I could eat Rajgira chikki or not! What sweetness does it have? What does it actually contain, apart from some paltry substances? So she said that if it is paltry, then give that up as well. You try to understand - weak vasanas, you can dismiss it; but strong vasanas, you will use some or the other logic and support it, you will not be able to dismiss it. And even if you do, it will be with a lot of effort; the more effort you put in, the more ego you will have. The more effort you put in to leave it, the more you will feel you have done something. During FFD, our group used to go as though in a procession! Because we'd given up so much at that time. I had... He has still given it up, But I had given up at that time. When we left from here, just that we could not hear the band playing, otherwise, we were going in a procession only. We were without milk, curd, ghee, cheese... Because as much effort you have put in, the same amount of ego will arise. So you left vasana and went into ego. No! It is 5:05. Did you understand vasana or not? So, what have you done? Just changing objects and keeping the vasanas. Only the price tag has changed. Earlier, you used to be happy with a small car when you were small. Now you want cars worth millions, and even then you are not happy. So, only the price tag has changed, but vasanas has not changed. Are you properly realising this? You need to do a lot of satsang. Do satsang of the ones liberated while living. Seeing the absence of vasanas in them - ask questions, contemplate; contemplate over their words, and 'Why do enlightened ones see no happiness in this? 'It is so nice, then why is He not seeing any happiness in it?' Such inner contemplation should be arise. The moment of birth of your vasana, its duration, the moment of its death; see it like a movie. Don't recollect it, see it. While the vasana is going on, learn to see it at that time. And in the process, go towards exhaustion of vasanas. Because if vasanas have not been exhausted, then a lot of tension, worry, wrangling, will go on. This is the second part - reaction to the objects attained or not attained. In that, you will feel worry, tension... These are all signs of bondage.