Transcript for:
Empowering Women: The Alpha Fem Journey

hello gorgeous human beings of the alpha fem group thank you so much for being here today for the exhibit which is where the trifecta evolves so if you are new to this group if you don't know me my name is melan Anne ler I am the creator of the alpha FM brand and I founded this group in 2017 in the summer of 2017 and since then it has grown to over 37,000 members and I think that it's a cool story to share that when I opened this group I had a hard time getting a hundred people on my opening night I had this dream I had this vision of a hundred people on my opening night and I I couldn't I couldn't get there and I kept procrastinating the group opening because I just had this vision of 100 people and we opened the group with like 70 something people in the end and I had this white dress on and this popping champagne and was so excited for the future and declared this big Vision I had to co-create a million millionaires within the alpha FM brand this is right at the beginning of alpha FM and the group started to grow and I kept deleting people to try to keep it at 100 for the longest time I was like I'm going to keep this group to a 100 people and we kept deleting people and eventually people are like stop deleting us we want to stay here new people were coming in I couldn't keep it at 100 and I asked the group for permission if they would allow me to let it grow and the group said yes and the group started to grow and and the last few years from 2017 to now it's grown to over 37,000 members and I'm really proud of what this group is now I'm so proud of the energy I'm so proud of the evolution I'm so proud of the way people handle themselves in this group the way it's managed the way my team manages it it's a beautiful extraordinary group and I have been feeling like I want to take it to the next level for a while and I'm so grateful and I'm so happy because two of my most extraordinary clients and now collaborators jacqulyn Shaw and Amy Elizabeth are working in the most extraordinary way alongside me and each other in the alpha fem brand and we've decided we want to do something fantastic for this group so today is going to be a beautiful opportunity for us to connect with you we have all kinds of stuff planned it's going to be some behind the scenes some storytelling some real solid lessons that we've learned along the way some teaching but on top of that like what the vision is for Alpha FM what's the vision for this group and what's coming up next in the alpha FM brand so if you're joining us and you're just hopping on let us know like how long have you been in the alpha FM group if you remember and maybe even tell us what what you like about the alpha FM group what is your favorite part is it the community the resources is it the support is it did you ever you know ask a question in here and get the support that you needed do you love that you can contribute to other people and give your feedback is it the network networking the connections like what is it is it just the type of people that are in the group does it have more to do with the alpha FM brand itself are you connected to our teaching our coaching and it's your way to stay connected like I'd love to know what what it is about the alpm group that has you here and if you're brand new welcome and thank you so much for being here so I want to kick us off before we start bringing in Amy and and Jack and I want to really paint a picture for you about what this group means and what the purpose is and what it was when it first started and then we're going to kind of evolve it here together the idea for today is like a cozy chat where maybe you you get to ask yourself some questions about your life your business your brand or maybe you start to think about something you might start this year or in in 2025 that could potentially change the future of your life forever which is what creating this group did for me and creating the alpha fem brand did for me so one of the big things I have in common with my clients especially the ones who've really taken the World by storm and you're going to hear this in both of my discussions with jacine and Amy today one of the things we really have in common is this feeling inside that we have owned and we have claimed that we're an example that whatever it is that we're going through andever however it is that we're going through it it's bigger than us and what I love about this is it has really been a context that has held everything together in the alpha FM brand over the last few years for me is this for me for you for us concept where the things that I do aren't just me trying to do something so that I'm successful it's me want to influence change so that we can all benefit from it and Alpha FM is very much in that energy and so I took on this role before anyone really gave it to me before anybody said you matter you're going to make a difference for women you're going to help women change their financial situations you're going to help women break through in their marriages or or break free from a marriage you're going to help women reclaim their power you're going to help women build Brands you're going to help like before someone ever told me that I was going to do that I had to decide in advance that everything I was doing was one day going to work it had to it really had to be from the moment that I started taking action this matters now and this one day will be a story that I tell in hindsight this one day will be the beginning and I love this thought that one day everything we're doing right now it's going to be the beginning it's going to be it's going to be just a piece of the puzzle it's going to be just a part of the story The Making of who we become because there's one thing that I have in common with my clients who've also done unrealistic things in a very short period of time is that it was always for the big picture and no matter how difficult things got it was always about the big picture and how this could work out one day if we didn't give up and we kept looking to the Future and we kept keeping our eye on what matters the most you're going to get different examples of that today and my hope and my desire for you is that if you've been on the fence with your own life and your own work of art that is your life that this really empowers you to realize we're all just a few years older than we were when we started that's all we really are we got we became wiser because of the actions we took we became more successful because of the actions we took we became richer because of the actions we took But ultimately were just a little older that's all that really happened and so in a few years from now you'll be a little older than you are now will you also be a little wiser will you also be a little richer will you also be more influential more successful more powerful well that's based on the decisions you make and if you don't make those decisions well one thing's for sure what we know is you'll just be a little older but we want to be the things that are inevitable and then we want to be the things that are chosen the things that we made we made the decision and that brought us here so why did I create Alpha FM why did I create this free group I really believe that a network like when you're a part of something it has the power to shape how you see the world like whatever we tap into whatever we plug into whatever we watch or listen in this world it ends up becoming what we think about how we feel who we are and so when you hire a coach you hire a mentor and you're constantly in high level conversations and you're in coaching programs and your one-on-one calls or you're in group Mastermind calls obviously that's a deep dive but we don't realize that sometimes it's the Netflix thing it's the radio it's the TV it's the things that you watch on a consistent basis and I had a feeling that it was possible for me to create the kind of community that would alter the experience of the women who were in the container that were in the free group and the biggest experience that I wanted to change was people's belief about other women women's belief about other women that was one of my most important thing to start to change was that women are good and that women support each other and that it's possible to have a circle of women who root for you and vouch for you and stand for you and celebrate you a place place where you can go when you're thriving and you want to celebrate and Shout from the rooftops but also a place you can go when you're struggling and you need support a place where you didn't worry about being judged where you could actually be seen for who you are without being performative and we've put rules around that if it feels performative we don't allow it if it feels like it's trying to take from the group we don't allow it we're trying as much as possible to create the most squeaky clean energetic space that redefines what women believe about about other women because I believe from the most deep part in my soul that in order to normalize big money and big Power in the hands of women we have got to be constantly seeing women in their power we've got to see it every day we've got to see it every day like it's normal we don't want to desensitize it but we want to normalize it it's got to be something that we expect to see and I think the alpha fem group provides that it provides a lens of the world where women are respectful kind compass passate caring giving loving successful magnetic beautiful you name it strong wise leaders and this group has just continued to grow and grow and grow and grow in the most beautiful way but I've been feeling like I want to take it to the next level and I really want to build stronger bonds and I want to help you even more in this space because I want to see more Evolution I want to see women move and and start to experience some of the changes that are not inevitable in their lives that's not just you're a little you're a few years older I want with every year that passes that you are more empowered more connected you have more friends you have more willpower more strength more emotional intelligence more money more more of everything not just more time under your belt and so what we're doing today with the exhibit is taking the alpha fem group and raising it to a whole other level I am going to be contributing more into the space but also I'm bringing in my two oh my gosh these women are so extraordinary I'm so proud to know them and to lead side by side with them I find them extraordinary and you know I have I have amazing clients I'm so so lucky in my career so fortunate to have really done the work with some of the most extraordinary people I've ever known but what's so special about these two women is that on top of building their own Brands and their own businesses and really working with me from very early stages of their businesses so I've known them from infancy stages in the business up to multi-millionaires is that they've decided to join forces with me in Alpha fem and so even though they have the most extraordinary companies that create multi-millions of dollar they make the decision I want to I want to do this with Melanie and I think that that is such a huge Testament to the alpha FM brand because I think often what's difficult for Brands is to find coaches facilitators mentors that are a part of the brand that are as extraordinary as the main character and what tends to happen is there's the main character and then there's people who kind of help that's not what we have here this is equal power but different you will find a different level of power a different level of wisdom a different level a different kind of magnetism and beauty and strength in every single one of of the people that are in Alpha Fen but Jaclyn and Amy are spectacular human beings and they're so talented in their own ways and I'm so proud to have them be a part of this with me and so when they said you know we want to we want to help you raise the bar in this free group I was like I don't think these people know what this means but this is this also is such a big reason why I admire these women so much because they give they give so much and I think that shows when you're when you're successful long term there's certain things that you do in life that creates long-term success short-term success can be created but to sustain it it's who you are that sustains it and these women are generous with their heart with their coaching with their spirit with their knowledge like they are committed to their client's growth they're so dedicated to the client results and that's really what I love the most about them yeah they're successful they're powerful badasses yes they've walked the walk they talk the talk they do what they've got to do they they they're the proof of concept the greatest proof of concept but they really do this work for the right reasons and for them to want to actually contribute to this free space to me just can't explain quite what it what it did to for me inside but I thought you would really want to get to know them and to appreciate them and so how this is going to be different than a normal Master Class where it's just like coming in and teaching I want you to understand I want you to get to know us a little more behind the scenes I want you to get to hear some of these stories that have made us who we are and I want you to be able to to find yourself in that where wherever it is that we are is just a few years later than where we were and all the things we had to go through together so it's an interesting story because jacine used to be Amy's coach and they they were talking by the pool one day and it was like do you know Melanie an ler and then all of a sudden next thing I knew I was Amy's Private Client and next thing I knew I was Jacqueline's Private Client they were my Mastermind and it just kind of all happened and this was in 2018 20 2019 fast forward to now we've all built millions and millions of dollars we've helped thousands and thousands of clients our lives are completely changed but I know these women and I've seen them go through some really hard stuff and not the kind of stuff that's easy to just explain in a Facebook post not the kind of stuff that you you tend to get a chance to find out about people and so I want to bring them in not just so that you can see how fascinating and extraordinary they are not just so they can teach you some great things but I'm going to ask them some really pertinent questions I think that are going to make a big difference in how you experience them moving forward in this group because our intention is that you'll see more of them in this group both of them will be delivering more things for you to contemplate and to help you in your growth so that you have a story like one of us if that's something that you want your own story but that that one day inspires all these people because one day you made a move like that's all we can do is we make a move and one day our life changes it's the same for all of us we have to be brave we Face fears we were we wonder if we're good enough we wonder what the heck we're doing we then start to succeed then we fall on our faces then we get back up again then we have a breakthrough then we go bigger then we get hurt then we change we plot twist Turn the Page turn around do better you know it it's it's a story of everyone's life is the same as the struggles and the successes and The Duality of this work so I I'm going to have some kind of light-hearted behind the scenes stuff with them and I also have some in-depth conversations I want to have with them and they're going to bring forward also some some coaching and some teachings for you but my first thought that I want to bring forward for you today is one that I talk about quite a little bit but I don't think I'll ever be able to say it enough I don't think I'll ever be able to explain it enough and this is the concept of I matter I really am important in the big scheme of things in this world I really think that is the first thing that we need to unlock but then we need to unlock it over and over and over again at different levels all throughout our lives if we want to continue to grow it's one of the things we struggle with because we tend to look for other people to tell us we matter before we claim how big we matter we don't allow ourselves to just matter first and say the people will get the memo later like let me act as if everybody agreed that I'm this the appointed leader for this job that I'm that I'm the one and then they'll get the memo instead of what do I need to do for them to decide and then if they could just decide then I could be the one you've got to make the decision first you've got to decide first so when I I created the alpha FM brand I did not have a following online there were not a lot of people that followed my journey when I launched my brand when I started this group I struggled to get a hundred people in the door and I I wanted to have a 100 people so bad I just kept procrastinating the group opening like oh yeah yeah it's going to be next week it's going to be next week I was like by next week we should hit it we never did and it was this moment where it was like if I don't launch it now I just got to I just got to own it like there wasn't a hundred people there weren't a hundred people willing to to join a free group of mine that's it make make peace with it Melanie like there weren't so let's make our best with the people that are in here and let's have this group opening and you can find it in this group that group opening that night I got myself psyched up and I let myself be excited and I celebrated the 70 some people that were there for the group opening and I celebrated it like I was accepting an Oscar like I made it feel for me like it was so important and that those people were so important I made it matter I did not know I was going to create this in my wildest dreams I couldn't have hoped I was going to create this and you can see it all happen in this group this is why I cherish it so much because I think sometimes we see success and we're like oh you probably always kind of look like this it doesn't it changes we change and so but you've got to decide that you matter because there's something really powerful that happens when you make that decision is that then you can start to matter to people and in the alpha fem group if you don't believe that you matter at all then you probably don't give a lot of feedback and you probably don't ask for much and you probably don't celebrate at all if you don't believe you matter you watch other people show up and your fly on the wall and sometimes they ask questions and you figure your answer maybe doesn't matter and although you're in a group with 40,000 people that could all be incredible allies in your life for some reason you don't really know anybody and it's so difficult because it makes sense we wonder like what but how do I know that I matter it's like you can't know until you decide it no one makes us feel like we belong everybody's wondering if they belong themselves they're too busy wondering if they belong to make you feel if that you belong and the fact is if someone ever were responsible if someone ever did make you feel like you belonged the problem is they would also be able to revoke that if you let someone else tell you that you belong then on the day that they decide that they're booting you out or on the day that they decide to put their energy into someone new you wonder if you belong all over again has to come from us if they can't make us they can't break break us if someone makes you if they're the reason that you are who you are because you believe that you belong because of them if anything Chang changes in the dynamic you're back to square one what's the point so I want to invite you to imagine what it would be like what would it how would you be acting differently how would you experience this space differently if you were like can you imagine if maybe some of my greatest friends business partners clients are in this group can you imagine if these are just like deep friendship Sisterhood people who have will have the answer to a question I have one day in my life and I'll have the courage to ask because I'll believe that I matter and I believe that people have answers for me imagine if you believed when I see a question and I I think I have a valuable answer I care that the person gets what they need and I think I have the answer I'm gonna I'm gonna take the time and I'm G to tell them what I think when someone celebrates and you say good job that you actually believe that comment mattered how different you might be in this space and I can tell you across the board for myself and my most successful clients the one thing they all got the memo on is that they matter they matter to their Community they they matter in the big scheme of things and they decided that before they had evidence and they did crazy things because they believed they mattered everyone who waited for external validation or for someone else to tell them they mattered or for the nervousness to go away or for the certainty to kick in a lot of them are still waiting or they did the thing where there was circumstantial power and as soon as they were no longer connected to the circumstances they dropped it but what I want for you for me what I want for me for you for us is that we walk into any room and change it because we understand our power and we understand our influence this is this is what it boils down to if you believe that you have influence you understand how much you matter if you can influence a room you matter in the room if you feel empowered you can Empower a room you matter in that room and these are the these are the goals this are The Vibes this is this this is the vision for being an alpha fem is that you have influence and you have power and eventually you also have the money that you deserve to have because money plus power plus influence means women are playing a very different game in the world and I want to see that happen I want that for our families I want that in our relationships I want that for our careers I want that for our freedom I want that for us but there's no way we can do it if we don't believe we matter because in the end if we are to have done this and this is the big like live your life the way you want to tell a story and hindsight if we actually do this if we actually make a difference every single one of you changes your financial situation every single one of you makes an impact and becomes influential in your workplace in your network in your circle in your in your industry if you become empowered in your home and your marriage and your friendships and your relationships at work in the world in in your in your industry if you actually do that we will make an impact like no other generation has ever made and because of that we will matter and so we've got to act like that's possible in order for it to happen so we've got to act like it's possible to make those changes that you can literally this this time next year be sitting in a totally different financial situation where there's an abundance of money where you could help whoever it is that needed help and you're not one of them you're not one of the people who needs the help financially you've got it you're overflowing with it you can invest in whatever you want your Christmas is coming and all there is is excitement whether it is that you have so much influence and you know whether it's for selling or creating a movement or or really making a difference in the school system or your kids school or whatever it is like you have the influence you have the power this could all happen so fast but you would have to understand that if it did happen you would really matter and the only way for it to happen is if you matter now because the person who made it is a person who mattered but the mattering doesn't happen on the day you succeed you've got to compound that every day until the result comes so on the day that you decide that you're a really important part of the picture of the puzzle in your life in your financial situation with your family at home when you decide that you matter The Compound Effect begins on that day and then it's spectacular what you can do there are women of all different kinds of backgrounds and industries in this group Alpha FM has entrepreneurs has CEOs has women who work have worked the same job for a decade we have women who are stay-at-home moms we have authors actors there's there's oh my gosh I've I've seen so many different careers lawyers real estate um Beauty Fitness coaches mentors so influencers social media creators marketers digital creators like there's no there's no limit to the the range of knowledge in this group the connections the co-creations they're Limitless and I believe it's going to get exponentially more after these conversations and how where the group is going but it can't move unless every single one of you decides that you matter and you're you're a part of it you sometimes it's like I'm in a group that has 37,000 people but to everybody else you're one of the 37,000 of the group they're a part of and it's so crazy because we don't think about that but every single person watching this is like I a part of this 37,000 but really it's every single person is the 37,000 I once remember I saw a sign above the highway not long ago and I was like that is so smart it said you're not stuck in traffic you are traffic so leave space between the cars I was like we always say that I'm stuck in traffic as if I'm the one car that shouldn't be there in the traffic gem and all these other cars are the traffic and I'm just stuck in it but to everybody else you're the traffic we forget that we're a part of the whole and we for when we forget we're a part of the whole we forget our potential impact if everyone's responsible for their impact their influence their power their money we can create whatever we want and that's the big picture that's what I see for for Alpha fem so I'm going to bring Amy up we're going to have a discussion with Amy then we'll have a little bit of a break little bathroom break a few moments and then I'll speak with you once more and then we'll bring Jacqueline up and we'll go from there so I want to introduce first and foremost this incredible Gem of a human being you may have heard me introduce her before but I I can't tell you how magical it is to watch a person do what I watched Amy do from so close I had a front row seat in her self-c creation and the thing about Amy that I really hope you can take with you is she is the single most coachable person I've ever met and she's not coachable like she doesn't have her own opinion and she just takes whatever somebody says for face value and does what she's told she's coachable like she would never do anything against her spirit she would never do something that doesn't resonate with her she listens she contemplates she co-creates she asks for an adaptation if it doesn't feel correct for her she's wise she's bold and when she says she's going to do something there is not a question that it will be done I have watched this person blow my mind more times we have laughed together we have cried together we have raged together and we've popped champagne together there's not one emotion I haven't felt with this person she is so real but sometimes it's hard to to understand the depth of who she is because she packages it so well it's hard to believe sometimes that there's just a pure innocent gorgeous fabulous normal human behind that and sometimes it's like there is a rock star among us this is the only way to explain what's happening she's she's built different but the thing is she made herself that different by doing what it takes and I think that's one of the most spectacular things about her so I'm gon to bring her up and we'll dialogue together but Amy I would love for you to share with the group like when you first started your your coaching business really what was your life like who were you like describe to us the Amy that that I met oh my God thank you Melanie I'm gonna be crying thank you okay let's let's go back in time so when we met I was absolutely persistent I would never ever ever leave teaching like that was my frame of mind I'm like I could never make more money there's no way I would never be able to you were like well you you could probably just like pay for health benefits and I'm like that's absurd like that's the craziest thing ever I came from a very um I came from a Catholic upbringing I came from a very like middle class family really work hard you do your things you stay in line you check the boxes so I checked all of the boxes and I was a mom of two when we met and I was I was a baby I was I I always had I'm a fifth line for anyone that that understands human design I'm a fifth line so I always had a presence of a leader like people would always appoint me to be a leader people would always say oh you're confident but inside I didn't feel that like I wasn't like you're right you're right I should be leading this I should be doing this they should be doing this I felt I was insecure I was I I didn't really know that there was like more available to me so it wasn't like I was trying and feeling unworthy and not hitting things and not doing things I know I could go do whatever I wanted to do but there was like a a glass ceiling on it you know and I think when we're raised in whatever Financial um you know uh what am I looking for wherever however you're rais throughout your entire life that's what you see as the glass ceiling so I didn't think I could like go out and make 10K a month like that was a dream when we started working together I was like all I want is is 10K months and not to be stressed running out the door getting my my my girls to school in daycare and being in a rush like that would be my dream like that's as far as I could see and that was it can we just tell people like what were you earning a year when you first came in you you were not making you were like making what 30 yeah so I was um I was making so when we met I was just off of my second mat Lea so at that time I don't even know what you make on mat leave like $330,000 my Max and where I could get to was $6 8,000 a year so before I was on Matt leave I was making $50,000 a year 55,000 and as far as my qualifications could get me I could get up to 68,000 like that was like that was what I was going for so at 50,000 a year you were like if I could make 10K a month that was basically just about doubling what what your earning potential was like that would have been mindboggling and you couldn't even wrap your head around that when you first started insane because that would have been also like a principal income right and like I never wanted to be a principal I was like no thank you so there was like how would I ever make that kind of money gosh it's crazy okay so when we start working together though you joined the first thing you ever joined was a $5,000 Mastermind how did you do that credit card so can you explain what what in the actual world made you feel what was the what was the thought process there where you were like I think this is going to be a good idea for me what happened what made you feel like that was good okay so actually as you said in here Jack was my first coach and she was like really business coaching at that time so I had seen online that all of a sudden there was like people were doing this thing online and I was like oh that's crazy so I was like $110,000 with her and her business partner at the time and it was basically to create a business I had no business I had no business thinking I had a business to invest in that like there was no business going on and I was on Matt Le so I was like spent the whole time I made no money inside of Jack's mentorship inside of that like business coaching I made no money and then I was on I went back to teaching off my mat leave I actually went back uh like four weeks early so Lucy wasn't quite one and that was like quite heartbreaking for me because I actually felt like I had no choice um because I got this job and they wanted me I got hired on permanent we had move cities I had to change boards and kind of start all over so I was like um okay fine I'll take the job you know again they had authority over me and I felt like I had no say to even say well it's not quite I'm not quite done just not quite one I don't want to go back yet so I was like okay fine I'll go back early um so then I was making no money obviously I was on a run I found out about human design human design came into my ears on a podcast I sprinted at home opened up my computer found out I was a 51 spenic projector I was like Hallelujah like literally I could hear God speaking to me and I was like this is the best thing ever so I started just it it actually gave me a lot of confidence to be like wait a second I am I am built different I am designed different and everything that you know in those insecurities were really about like me not being like other people and like also feeling like I don't want to but why don't I want to why don't I want to go out and party when I was in University why didn't I want to spend the money to go on spring break like why didn't I want to do those things and it was it made sense being a projector because I didn't like to be around that energy so I started talking about like just my very first program was Soul school I actually think I had like five people in it something like that and then all of a sudden a one to one wanted to hire me so I had three clients before I had met you and I think I had found out about you in the summer that summer and I just started watching some of your things and I I think you had hit an 80k month and I was like my mind was blown I was like what inside of this Facebook group I saw some of your lives and I was just like okay like this is she's doing it she's doing it if she can do this I think I need to be around somebody that can teach me how to do this and it was just a moment where I watched some of those lives and I was like Hey like what do you have available I remember messaging you I was like I I think I need to work with you like what what's going on and so again I had was understanding my spleenic hits so that was a huge spleenic hit and then you were like okay well this one thing there were you guys no details besides the price there was no start date there was no like this and again at that point I'm like okay I like got to figure it out like what do you mean there's no details no information no start date I was like okay okay surrendered into to it and I felt like you just showed me a new reality like again I saw a glass ceiling a glass ceiling it wasn't even a glass ceiling that I used to see it was like a brick ceiling like you can't see through it there's nothing above it I was like oh that's the roof and then all of a sudden you walked in and I was like oh there's something upstairs actually there's like a whole bunch of more stairs a whole bunch more floors there's a pous suite up there like I didn't know that existed so that was kind of like my my vibe in being like something else exists and I think I need to get into that energy I need to be around her I need to see what she did what she created how she's possibly making adk months and again I didn't think I was going to make adk months I was just like I need to learn a a completely different reality of life so I'm obsessed with this and I think this is really important like if you're listening to this I want to angle your thoughts about this for a second so the first thing is that she had the first type of clients that she had in her life she had three people buy a program called Soul school or five people three people five people five something like that yeah and then a couple of 101 clients at my house at my house this not online this was like they came to my basement that's how it starts and I think one of the big problems with the internet right now is people don't know what they forget that there's a beginning for everything and they're comparing M themselves right away to a person's final produ product instead of actually really enjoying the ride and being like Oh my gosh I love that you you started your journey like this because that's where I am right now instead it's like oh that's where you are right now that's where I should be right now you know I love I love this story about Amy because I my first coaching clients I took from the front seat of my Honda Civic I remember making $100 per client and feeling like I had won the lottery the first year I made up I I built a word of mouth business no ite no complicated things I didn't know how to build a website I didn't know how to do any of those things it was really just Word of Mouth direct deposit in my bank account I built a sixf figureure business from the front seat of my car because all it was was people referring being like you don't understand this girl has something and at first it was just life coaching and relationship coaching people were referring me to people to help them break through with their relationships and their marriages that's that was the the number one thing that I did and I built a sixf figure business from the front seat of my car but if you would have looked what's my business there would have been no business if you would have asked me what's your business people come come to my basement like it's okay that it starts this way that's the first thing that I want to say the next thing that I absolutely love about this is that first big purchase she did she puts on her credit card she makes no money off of it she doesn't all of a sudden start to curse the world she goes back to her job and she still keeps looking I did the same thing the first few programs that I bought were not right for me in that moment and so I I talk about how I went to business Mastery Tony Robbins business Mastery I didn't even have a website all the things there was this exercise about chain of command and communication like chain of command with who I'm the only person did I buy the wrong thing like I put this took me a year and a half to pay off it was there was basically no profit at the end of every month everything went to this thing and it was not the right timing for that program but seeds were planted and in the end that program was really beneficial to me years later and there's connections I made there that ended up becoming private clients year later years later so you've got to trust in the big scheme of things but she invested big it didn't work out she went again the next thing that I find interesting is that you came into my world I didn't even have the alpm experience yet AF did not exist yet and so when you bought calibrate which is the Mastermind you bought the reason there was no information was because it was a an experiment that I was putting out there teaching energetics that basically people who are meant to find you people who are meant to work with you they count they find you and it isn't like you're supposed to get them and you're supposed to mark it a certain way so I created this Mastermind called calibrate and my intention for The Mastermind was that the people that were in there had a reason or a purpose to calibrate with me for some reason or another and Amy walks into that Mastermind and so it was all about energetics it was about not knowing it was about exactly what she said I need to see a whole other reality I have to see a different reality now for a lot of people right now when they see another reality one that doesn't look like something that's comfortable or something that makes sense they shut it down or they hate it or they judge it or they think it doesn't it's impossible there's something about the the feeling like this could work for me that I'm really curious about and I'd love for you to to say more about like what what's the difference between you had no reason to know you could do this you'd even even failed the first thing you tried what does it feel like inside to know like I have to keep going when you have no reason to have confidence in that yeah and it's pretty crazy because I also want to add some context in I was stressed I was burnt out like there was also no part of me that was like oh I've got nothing to do I'm on as well jump in you know I got money to jump in none of it was aligned in a perfect context I was working full-time my ex-husband at the time um he actually worked an hour away and he did 12h hour days so that was a 14 at least 14-hour day that he'd beone so I had these two little kids I had a full-time job and I was running those clients were coming to my house at at 8:00 at night after I put my kids to bed so I was overworked overdone over exhausted burn out the part where I was like okay I should keep going was honestly this internal pole like I can't logically explain it logically it made no sense but I was I know I meant to be here and again like I I saw some comments in the group where they were like you know I I don't feel not you didn't say I don't feel worthy of being there but like basically a small fish in a big pond and I was a very very very small fish and I knew that but I didn't feel like I I didn't belong because I knew my soul was yearning for more it didn't want the reality that I had and I guess that if we're say black and white I didn't want what I had I didn't want to be stressed I didn't want to be a stressed out mom I didn't want to be doing this all by myself and be working and be also doing this work on the side and being a teacher requires a lot of after school work too and weekends I didn't want that so I didn't know what I was going to get into or what I was going to become but I knew what I currently had the identity I had the life reality I had wasn't it I also remember this Mom pulling up to the school and I worked at a pretty like AFF fluenced neighborhood the school was at and she pulled out on a Friday night wearing these heels this hot outfit this beautiful car pulled up like ran into the school like she was in a rush and I was like she is the vibe that is the vibe I was sitting there with like my teacher like uh like barcode thing that I could get in with I was wearing like my teacher Flats my like Friday I just want to go home I'm so exhausted and I was like that is the Friday Vibe and that is a woman that I want to be like I had no idea I didn't I actually don't even know who she is still I didn't know whose mom she was but I was like that's the kind of mom I want to be I want to be wealthy I want to be hot I want to be walking around on a Friday and my heels running into my kids school cuz they forgot something we got to go like let's go like that was the energy and that was in my waiting period for um The Mastermind to open up actually like I just started seeing all this evidence of like oh there's a new identity oh there's a new identity like who I am I don't want to be anymore and I didn't think I was a horrible person at all I thought it was a great person I was doing everything right but my soul didn't feel lit up by any of it H this feels so good to hear like I I hope if you guys are listening to this that you're you're not just listening to the story but you're listening for the gold here it's like this is a person who has got to work where she's working it isn't a question of just like well I don't like this job so I'm out it's like I am G to build my belief about the fact that I deserve more while I'm dressed in my uniform with my little tag around my neck looking at the thing I want waiting for the Mastermind I bought that I have no idea what it's about to start the money is gone I have no idea what's what but that's what I want and to be able to be in that mindset of looking at you what you want and just focusing on what it is that you want because what it is that you've got isn't it and it's just that clear so if you can look at it that way for yourself because I I remember feeling such a similar feeling it was just this can't be it it can't be it because it's not it so it cannot be that I'm supposed to accept this in any way it can't be that this is what it's got to be because I can feel it that that's not it and I don't know if you guys allow yourselves to feel that sometimes but you can feel that at any level you you can feel that making you know zero money and being like I want to have a career you can feel that making $50,000 a year and being like this isn't it you can feel that having a super huge highp paying career and realizing what you're doing isn't what you want to do you can feel that having built a multi-million dollar business and realizing you want to Pivot but when something inside of you tells you this isn't it do you respond to that do you do you go with it do you say okay then let's go for what it is that I want do go all in because it takes so much courage like you are so brave I it blows my mind when I think about how Brave you were at that point to have jumped into this it's it's just so crazy so when you finally did make the jump I remember you I remember you back then because it's so crazy who you were then as a person and who you are now as a person it's like the the Amy of that year exists in my mind forever it's not like it's hard for me to remember you that way it's like I will never forget you that way because you were so magnetic to me I just would watch you in all of the things you were saying even the way you described some of your stresses like you were so matter fact and I wonder if that's your one line now that I think about it but you would just be so clear about what the issues were and so open to what you wanted and I just remember telling you flat out like I think you should quit your job because you''ll Be A Millionaire at this like very early on in my conversations with you I saw it kind of immediately and I'm curious when I said that were you like I know or were you like yeah right I was like that's nice that's really nice of her to say h honestly like I remember being like Oh that's sweet like you know when people say give you a compliment you're like maybe they're just saying it cuz XY like I didn't think anything bad about it but I was just like oh that like that's really sweet of her that's it I was like I I think I remember saying like haha like yeah yeah right like that's what I thought like yeah right like also that's really nice of her like that's a nice compliment but like okay like that will never happen and it was because I was also so like resistant of Crossing that line of like stepping over that line you know like I I in my head drew a line in the sand we like this was just going to be a side project this was just going to be like extra money extra fun it was passion I was filled with passion but that's all this was ever going to be because in my mind I was never leaving teaching I was never giving up such a secure job and and I think you even like tried to work around that you're like well you could make go down to part-time and like maybe work two days a week as a teacher and do this the rest of the week and I was like No And I remember you explaining to me also like my parents wouldn't have it yeah like I don't know how I would tell my parents and I was like how old are you any me and you're like that's point you don't understand in my family like my parents value my career a lot and I that that was a big part of it we had to coach that quite a bit it was huge because my mom um my parents got pregnant with my oldest brother when my mom was 19 my dad was like 21 something like that so they went through a lot of challenges my mom never got to go to postsecondary education so they really valued giving us everything and raising us in a way that like they didn't have the opportunity to do it so in and my mom is the oldest of nine so there's kind of a divide in our family where people there's a lot of teachers princi half of them took that side and the other half didn't go to um university and didn't get a degree or anything so they really valued us having a a great education you know going through and like again like the benefits you would never have to worry about anything Amy like this is the best career and you're great at it and you love kids and you love like it all fit it all fit I didn't do anything I didn't want to do I just didn't know anything else so then the feeling of disappointment where it's like okay I'm just GNA go take a hard left like this is out of the blue for me this is not my you know I'm not a big risk taker I haven't been a big risk taker my entire life this is now throwing away my career and like sabotaging something so great that I've worked fre my entire life for and then to think my parents would understand like no not at all so when you think about this this in in the if you guys are to conceptualize this for your own self whatever limitation your family will think you're nuts You' got a solid something secure that you can't imagine getting away from you don't actually imagine you're going to do your dream thing full-time anyway you just think it's going to be part-time all of that can still lead to a life that you cannot imagine right now it's like none of that is a stopper none of that is a blocker all of that just gets to just be part of the story like this is what I love about Amy's story up until now it sounds like she's not going to do anything apart from have a few people come into her basement and learn human design like we're we're not we're not going International Global multi-million dollar brand like we're not on that's not the conversation we're having when we're starting there and I think that a lot of people from the beginning are asking themselves questions that are too big we're we're not it's like asking a 5-year-old what do you want to be when you grow up some of them know most of them don't some of them will tell you something and it ends up being something different when I first started this work I never in a million years thought I would be where I am now I didn't really know anybody who made money at all like I didn't know a woman who made six figures in her life I I didn't know one person on this Earth that made six figures and all of a sudden I'm I'm making six figures but I'm sleeping in the front seat of my car so and I'm traveling and I'm par parking on the edges of wherever and oh okay I have enough to pay for a hotel and I can eat in whatever restaurants that I want and I can do all these things but then when I run out of money I sleep in my car like my lifestyle was stupid and I was making six figures a year and then next thing quarter of a million dollars and then half a million dollars and a million dollar year and then it's like how how do we get there how how does that happen but it can you can you can start by saying I'm so grateful for the $100 payment you can say I'm so grateful for the beginning you can say I'm I'm so grateful for the fact that I could add $500 to my bottom line and what would that look like to just be in absolute gratitude and awe about that and I would love I one of the things I want to bring more into the space is like celebrations at the end of the month where you get to just celebrate like if we have a thread that's just like celebrations whether it's Financial whether it's an impact or influence or a move that you made or a milestone in your relationship where you can actually look back and say this is what happened for me this month because if you can't celebrate the small things we don't get to the big things like if you can imagine those three or five clients who bought her her soul program though that meant everything back then everything she was so grateful and she was wild enough to to say well let me spend $5,000 and say I have five people who bought my program and I've got a private client like let's go let's do it I believe even though I'm stressed and I'm pressured and I've got kids and I've got this and I probably never leave my coaching job what if I could get a little more freedom a little more money a little more fun in my life a little more high heels on a Friday what if I could just have that and then it compounds and it starts to build and it starts to grow and that's what we want we don't want to just try to aim for something and go and get it because I I don't know for you Amy but for me if I didn't have all these stories I don't think it' been the same feeling for me what I've built totally and I was talking to you about that the other day it's like the grip right it's like okay like when you see a mountain you're not like I got to get there ASAP it's like okay like where's the next landing and like that's what's building your grit and sometimes you have to be like okay I need to breathe and we got to keep going and I can't look at the very top because I'm going to feel overwhelmed and at the same time you look back and you're like oh my gosh I did all of that and these are the moments that build character that build grit that build familiarity like like people can see themselves in my story and also I don't know people feel like oh like they feel Unworthy of things but like I feel like I'd almost feel unworthy if I didn't do all of that to get here you know like we really are granted abundance when we do the things and become the person and we're able to actually hold it like I'm able to hold all of this now because of who I was back then and who I decided to become and the experiences I had to grow myself into this virgin that can now have it and hold it so let's actually talk about this because through you there's a concept that I started to live by that channeled for you through you and some of our PR private mentorship but I remember this moment Amy and I were talking she was at this point separating from the father of her kids who had just completely lost himself and it all came crumbling so fast it went from I feel like there's something wrong something something isn't right to he left like this like it felt like what we didn't even get a I I didn't have a solid grasp on the situation and we were in the thick of chaos like I feel like within two weeks everything fell apart and I just remember the way he was behaving was terrible like when you when you think about the worst possible scenario that could be happening the worst possible scenario that could be happening and she's got two young girls and a newborn and she's she's telling me these things that are happening and I am enraged like I I want to I I I've got to I've got to get myself in in coach mode because my love for her and I want to be a good friend but I'm like you're her Mentor you're her coach you've got to lead her through this you've got to bring her to a different place and I in my before my one-on-one calls especially when my clients are in tough spaces I always ask God I say God please you know thank you for Lending me this person and please speak through me what I'm supposed to say I promise I'll give them back to you much better than you lent them to me it's like I surrender to what what I'm supposed to say because there's times where the the woman in me the friend in me the girl the peer wants to be like I there's a real reaction that comes into these moments but I remember I was on the phone with Amy and I said to her I am going to tell you to do something right now but I'm going to preface it this way it's nuts and I I don't think anybody could do it what I'm going to tell you to do and what I'm going to tell you to say I don't think anybody could do it this is a Jesus walks on water kind of thing like I am going to ask you to to behave in a way that no one would expect you to no one on Earth would expect you to behave like this it will be so crazy amazing if you can do this it'll it one day we'll Circle back and we'll talk about how worth it it was but it will be one of the hardest things and she was like okay what is it and I remember this was like at the peak we were finding out stuff there was lies and his family was behind some of it it was like this whole thing and I said this is how you say the thing this is the alpha communication and she was like okay this doesn't work how about this yes okay we shaped it and she was like how am I going to say that practice crying anger all the things and then all of a sudden it was like I I'm GNA do it and I I had butterflies in my stomach I was like is she actually going to do this she had the conversation she was like I did it tell me everything how did it go and she nailed this conversation at this point like a 30s something year old woman 31 32 years old speaking like like a 90-year-old Monk on a cliff navigating situations that would have made anyone Lo lose their ever loving like no one can handle it like this no one and so we made a pack like anytime there's a conversation we're going to do what Jesus walks and there will be a time there will be a time Amy there will be a time this all pays off there will be a time this all pays off and we and I just remember how often I I we said those those words like Jesus walks Jesus Walks Like Jesus Walks Jesus walks and she would go out there in her life and behave in ways that I thought if the world behaved like this we change the world if people had the power to to be who this woman is being right now for her kids who who if if people had the power to be who this woman is for the world while she's navigating this if if people did this we would live in a different world there would be a different world if this was the way people could be and and she gosh sometimes you'd be like I can't do it like I can't I just I'm too mad and I was like talk through it talk through it and then in the end I got it and she'd do it the Jesus walked but she did it every single time this went on probably the worst of it for like two years two years of absolute crap and of it does it's not paying off the Jesus walk stuff the only payoff is that she sleeps at night and she's proud of herself and that she's can look at her kids in the eyes and know she's doing the best job possible and I'm there in the background like give me an a give me an M give me why you nailed it like that's the only payoff because there it isn't working yet but earlier this year I I got a message that was like it it it it paid off like it's paying off like the way that I behaved in all that time all those conversations the way that I was it paid off and we went from I remember that night you call me after you'd had a conversation in the parking lot with Ben and it was I was holding my breath on the phone because I was just trying to stay calm for you and that was just a few years ago the things he said and the way he behaved and then we look at the conversation you had with him earlier this year where he said to you you you actually saved my life yeah and I want to thank you for how you raised our kids and how you you how you did it all and I would not be here if it weren't for you yeah yeah yeah it was literally I am forever grateful to you and this is where people really are like they want to make money they want to make money they want to make money but it's about who you become while you're making money and this is what you taught me to do and for context most people don't know but um my ex-husband he all of a sudden he became addicted to drugs like very severely this wasn't on anybody's bingo card in our lives like we had my friends new we were together for it would have been like 15 years at this point now so a very long time like 10 years at that Point our friends were integrated together his friends my friends our friends like this was on nobody's Vision expectation that this is the path that this man would take and he didn't do it alone there was actually three other families that all of our Lives got completely blown up from from this drug and uh he was and for additional context if anybody had lived with an addict it is the most it's it's evil it's evil and I had hendri so my son um I remembered the week I got home the weekend and it was just I didn't know he was on drugs at this time either I I had no idea but I was I thought there was mental health issues and he told me he was bipolar and all of these things so I had just had HRI and it was coming up on one week I remember it was Labor Day weekend I had him on the 26th and I called all my family I was like anybody want to do something like I who's whose house can I come to basically with my kids and nobody was home that weekend everybody was gone and I was like [ __ ] what am I going to do because like I can't be in this house it just is feels disgusting it feels so dirty it feels so evil and I just have to get out I remember even calling like my oldest brother who like we don't really hang out I'm like hey what are you doing he's like oh sorry we have a baseball tournament we're not home I'm like what am I going to do so I was like all right guys we're going to go to there's this Farm down the street from where I live it was 40° it was so hot again this is like the end of summer and I was like all right guys we're going to go play it was like 1 in the afternoon at this farm and I'm carrying Hendrix in the baby carrier thing I had Lucy was only 2 and a half Lea was uh four and like if you just had a baby like your vagina feels like it's going to fall out like I was not okay to be walking let alone carrying this 30 lb baby carrier and my toddler and come on babe and snacks and 40° outside so like also sweating profusely like you know when you're just like oh this is not nice sweat and I was like I have to get out I remember being in the car and being like where are we going to go what are we going to do all day because I can't be at home and I'm also alone because I also nobody home everybody has taken off for the weekend and I was like these are the things I need to do like I can't be around that energy I I can't and let alone my newborn baby like that's the kind of toxic and disgusting it was in that point of our marriage and you were kind of getting bits and and pieces of it so our relationship wasn't what it is now then so I also was like okay like I can't tell her all of the things things like you know I can't tell her all of this stuff and I also had a huge my highest month so far was the month that Hendrick was born so that month like there was so much good so much celebration I was kind of like like feeling like a wet blanket you know just like just got to deal with this and I don't even know what's going on let alone telling someone else because none of it makes sense so during that time and then he ended up uh I found a whole bunch I found out everything and I actually remember messaging you that day too it was we used Facebook chat at that time our messages are still in there and I was just like Melanie this is what happened and I was like I don't know what to do I don't think I can tell my parents and you were like Amy you need to call your parents right now and you need to tell them everything that has happened and all of it because I had called my brother I called his sister to come take him away he walked out the door being like call a lawyer that was the last thing he said to me call a lawyer and slam the door and I was like okay okay and through that time his entire like he disappeared he literally disappeared his dad died they left me out his dad died two months after that happened they left me out of the obituary basically um basically announcing that we weren't together anymore his family disowned me they were saying nasty nasty things about me this was what where Jesus walks moments nobody supported me like it was just like you're a horrible person Amy this is we don't even believe you they didn't even believe me even with hardcore evidence in my hand and it was two years and I was like through a lawyer we did everything right communicated properly I remember him and I on Zoom when he finally came back around like with our lawyers I I was like sending death to him it was so bad and it was still those moments where it was like Amy Jesus Walks Jesus Walks Jesus Walks do this for your kids do this for your kids and turn around we um he ended up checking every single box he did everything I asked him to do I never punished him I went through the legal route so we did everything right and I had legal support in order for him to do all of the things and and um we now can sit together at our kids' events his girlfriend comes we sit together he ended up going through rehab AA he runs things he actually really turned his life around which was quite amazing um and he I was going through a breakup actually this winter and um I had that boyfriend at the time said something really really nasty to me and I had messaged Ben and I was like Hey like what happened during that time you know like what made you go in that direction did I have anything to do with it and he was like Amy you saved my life he's like you literally saved my life I am eternally grateful for you for the mom that you are for raising her children he's like I can never I would be dead if you didn't not talk like I set down all the boundaries I was like he disappeared but I am not chasing I'm not involving myself in his family if that's how they're treating me like it was really an up standard and I will not enable this and I will also not accept it and he was like if I if you didn't do that I think I'd be dead and he said I'm sorry he finally said I'm sorry and you know that yeah literally he was just so grateful for me and he will never be able to repay me and our relationship and and who we're able to be now I looking back then when I was giving him death stairs over zoom in our legal meetings I never Envision like Melanie would always say imagine one day he turns his life around imagine he turns his life around imagine he cleans all this up imagine he and I was like there's no way like the things he has done he cannot come back from as a human as a human being like the destruction he caused in his world it wasn't just me he destroyed things in his life and then here we are the absolute vision of everything I didn't think logically he could become or we could be at this point is right in front of my face now and I'm just I'm proud of him I'm proud of us I'm proud of me and I my kids get to understand the world and life and our trajectories and our choices and our decisions in such profound ways from both of us now the thing that's so big about this is that the the level of dedication to being the that kind of person because it's one thing that someone gives you the the advice like do this it's another thing to do it when you're up against it when the person's in your face when they just said an unthinkable thing like it's like huh that was a great plan until you messed it up now I'm allowed to say what I want because she she would come back and be like you'll never guess what he said and I'd be like she's she's going to tell me she cracked and she said something but every time she was like I kept my cool I didn't say anything but like I was dying I'm like oh my God I can't believe you didn't crack like I can't believe it but she stood for her kids to one day to for her kids to not be able to say that you know it wasn't fair towards her the dad or that he could never spin things or that it could never I I always told her like we're we're working now so that later is the best it could possibly be because it's not it's about now and later it's about now and later later you'll have you'll know you've done it right that's the one thing that's most important at the end of your life you'll look back you'll know you did it right and if you do it right there's a ripple effect you got to trust you got to trust and so the crazy thing about this is that this started to bleed into her business ethics in the wildest ways Amy Amy's a FIV line for those of you who are five lines or who understand human design there's a very big projection field around the five line a lot of expectation and so while all this is happening there's also a lot of judgments oh it's easy for you and this and that while she's going through hell people are writing you should smile more in your pictures you should do this you're you just you know you it's easy for you because and she wanted to rip people a new one on the internet she was like sending me screenshots like and I'm like okay okay okay Jesus Walks Jesus Walks same thing here and eventually what started happening was like she had no tolerance for people who'd come in with excuses she had no tolerance for people who came in with it's easy for you she had no tolerance for people who just weren't willing to do the work so her standard started to rise her reputation started to rise the quality of her clients the people who were drawn to her the way she was paid all of a sudden it's it was like I remember that year we started the year cuz this was like January that this all happens January 2020 he walks out of the door says get a lawyer in March we're in a global pandemic like and Canada was strict it was like you can't leave your house it was insane she was home quarantined with a three babies on her own but I remember January 2020 she had bought herself a new laptop and she was like should I return the laptop and I was like why would you return the laptop she's like what if you know I've made a lot of money what if this is the best it's going to be like things are going to be really hard for me right now no idea the pandemic was coming this is January and I was like you're not returning the computer the best is yet to come you haven't even started yet but she considered returning her laptop in January by the end of the year she was like how what did you make that first year was it millionaire that year was the year I made my first million the year before where things were starting to fall was 2019 and I made 245k 2020 well that month that it all happened it was less than a 10K month and that's where I was like oh God and I found out he didn't pay bills like we were this close to not having house insurance like huge penalties of behind payments and so I had to make up for all of that and I was like like I haven't opened it yet it's still in the box should I just return it because like I I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep making money after all of this and I was like you have no idea we are not even started I could feel I could feel the energy like we're this is the beginning but this was January 2020 returning a laptop potentially returning a laptop by the end of the year she was a millionaire but who she became in that year fierce and this is the thing Amy always stands for is like it's not about being relatable screw relatable relatable is the LIE Rel relatable is the LIE people tell you so that you say small so that people don't stop feeling comfortable around you her life changed when she became entirely unrelatable to all the the school teachers to the parents that went to those schools the people on her street and her neighbors to her family for a season to some of the people that were her peers that she just kind of took over because her level of self-responsibility and those in that year her Jesus Walks moments the the way she started leading herself was like everything I say matters the way I handle this matters every day everything was thought about focused on well thought out she started training she be she got herself into the kind of shape that makes no sense super model pictures for her branding started to focus on what she had control over and learning surrender on the things she had no control over became superum is the only way I can describe this woman I remember coaching her when she was like doing planks and and and push-ups on the hospital floor next to Hendrick when they were trying to figure out what was wrong with him he was I don't even think he was one one or was he one and a half he was one and a half yeah one and a half and she's running her business on the phone while he's sleeping doing push-ups on the hospital floor next to him and she's like anytime a person gives me an excuse about why they can't do this I just I can't I can't and I was like that's okay you're going to get the kind of people that are going to work with you that need a person who believes there is no no there is no failure there is no you know and and so many people have tried to turn Amy around like get her to say but what about me you know you don't understand it's this for me and it's that for me and it's like from juggling kids in hospital single parent in a world pandemic with parents who didn't really understand what the heck she was doing with a a ex-husband that was threatening to take everything while H while navigating his own demise while paying for mentorship and coaching and repairing all the bills that he had messed up and and and and and and and and she her her her biggest problem eventually became the people in her inbox with excuses she was like what do I do like I don't want to be rude but what do I do and it was like we've got to we've got to claim the messaging and then there was another up level and this is when like $300,000 month started coming in yeah and it it really was like I started to move myself it it actually so again I'm a projector so I got really bitter because we were in a mastermind you had a mastermind going and I was inside of that CU I was a private client and I was like that's what they're complaining about today and I was like I didn't share all of my stuff and it wasn't all over the Internet nobody knew enough to be like oh because I also didn't see that as a victim moment I was like okay this is happening for me let's go let's go let's go and I I'm meant to handle this and it w it it did get me really bitter though there would be moments where I'm like I am so annoyed like I I can't work with this person anymore or I can't participate inside of this space because they have no idea who I'm becoming not out of like I'm better than but like your problems aren't problems like those feel like problems but they're not problems like we got an up level if you could just see that not as a problem and move on with your day you'd be making some money right now things would be rolling in a really different way and so I started to feel really like misunderstood which got to me for a minute um it happened in my family with my friends and it happened online all the time I was getting crazy projections thrown at me and basically people just it felt like people didn't want me to exist and that was like a really hard feeling like they didn't want this version of me to exist meanwhile behind the scenes I'm like okay become the best version of yourself the best possible version somebody you're so proud of and then I turn every single corner and be like you shouldn't be proud of yourself here's why you suck here's why you should not say what you're saying here's what you just did wrong and I was like I'm working so hard I'm becoming the best version of myself and everywhere I turn people are just reminding me that I suuck and I was like we worked on this a lot and you like you have to now own this version of you you've become her there's now no reason to fall and there's no reason to entertain any of this because you've already become her but now you need to own it and I think this is a really challenging situation for a lot of people a lot of people do the thing A lot of people do incredible things behind the scenes but to own it and to now form you're becoming an identity and now to like form that together to be like no no no this is who I am and this is what I do and these are the clients I call in and this is the work that we do and this is where we're going not just where you've been and that was a huge up level financially for me I got the most incredible clients that were so attracted to my work to my world they were doing incredible things smart business owners a lot not even in the coaching industry a lot of people who have navigated big things divorces single motherhood um mending relationships and financial stuff too of of big Investments and big moves and big risks and also wanting to constantly be the best versions of themselves and I was like oh by me letting myself be all of this I'm now attracting the right people and eventually everyone that mattered in my life also came around to now oh this is Amy there was no more trying to get me back to my old me because is we had difficult conversations I held compassion and I also didn't not be who I was meant to be so it was like they were like okay we'll come we'll follow we love you you're You're great and what you're doing is great and we still don't get it but that's okay now there's not the pullback or the trying to make me be less than I am now there's the acceptance because I accepted it like to me to have a person like this in your life that reminds you you can do anything that you can come back from anything that you can bounce back from anything that people change if you just don't stop growing there is no greater asset on this planet there's no greater Ally on this planet than a person who won't take your crap and Amy will not take crap because she's done it and I honestly for me as a person having Amy as a client because of the way she was handling things made me I I really believe God connected us in the most Magic iCal way because there were times I was going through some really tough stuff but then I just kept thinking about what she was going through and I was like Step Up step up and once we had a really difficult moment because I was I W it hurt me so bad and it was right in 2020 something happened in my business and I had a mastermind kind of get really angry about after I had done a summit so I did a summit for some of my clients and the the the reason I did the summit was to get visibility for my clients and to create this beautiful thing and it it was incredible it was so good it was so great but then when it ended a lot of the people who were in that Summit all my clients like their clients and their people kind of all found a common denominator like oh my gosh like if all these amazing people are melan clients then I just I want to be Melanie's client and it was like two-thirds of the group just hated me immediately turned canceled their their masterminds with me wanted to destroy my business I had people some the girls there threatening like the whole thing just went bananas and I froze I was terrified it was just eating me apart and Amy said to me like I I love you but I if you've got to figure yourself out because I need somebody that can hold me right now and you need to figure yourself out and I had to get I had to pull myself together she literally fired me until I could get myself together and we eventually circled back when I was Stronger but this was the kind of person who was like I hired you because you could hold it if you can't hold it then I can't then it's not good for me and I respected that because and it but it raised the bar for me and who I was as a person was like I don't have I don't have room to to prioritize my problems when I'm meant to be helping people through theirs like what is the real problem here where's my strength where am I where who am I it raised the bar for me so much and having her in my life always reminds me what I'm capable of because I don't know where the wisdom came through for me to support Amy a lot of the things she was going through were things all never understand but if I had the courage and the wisdom for her then I had the courage and the wisdom for me and a lot of the standards and how I led myself after that conversation with Amy is what shaped the rest of who I was that was in J that was in June of 2020 I pulled myself together and I had my first million dollar month in September and it was like I really got it I took ownership of myself in my space and I realized how much it all matters not just that I'm successful but that I can hold it that I can handle the pain and the pressure because my clients are looking up to me to see what's next what's coming next and it was a whole other it was a whole other growth in I matter and this is how I knew I had grown because a past version of me would have said I don't matter and that's why she let me go like now I'm not feeling well I've been there for her for all this time I'm going through something and she just fires me she clearly doesn't care about me instead I got the mature understanding of mattering and it was like this person needs a warrior and I have got to matter at a whole other level I need to realize how much I matter to her and how much I matter in the whole big picture like not just to her but to every to everyone that I'm coaching and and co-creating with she's brave enough to tell me but what if others aren't and it raised the it raised the bar for me and I started really holding the coaching industry in a different way it was like I will be the one that holds this together for me for you for us I took it on at a whole other level and so I'm so grateful for Amy because her standards for herself like we forged her standards for herself and then we forged my standards also through that coaching relationship and we walk shoulder-to-shoulder in everything that we're doing last year I went through another tough thing and she was selling a feline Mastermind I bought her Mastermind I'd been her coach since 2019 but I was like I want to know I'm a feline I want to be a part of it I want to I want to see what you do and I fell in love with that Mastermind and so I really owned a lot of myself with Amy as her Mentor as her friend as her peer as her everything like we've just navigated so many angles of this relationship and we've both gotten better for it and so this is a really cool question that just came up in the in the chat for for us and I think both of us probably have a different answer this but how do we stay positive after everything that happened like how do you how do you stay positive and I'm going to tell you my answer I think that positivity is not the be the the strongest thing it's strength like it's okay to have something be really crap and that is something I've really built in the last few years like positivity usually is not true it's not about being positive it's about being realistic and idealistic at the same time it's like this is what's actually happening and this is what could actually happen can I hold that frequency can I be strong enough to deal with what is and also believe in this ideal that could happen if I lead myself like a freaking Warrior like can I believe can I make peace with what is and Trust in what could be positivity is is I think just not it for me look on the bright side it could be worse it everything happens for a reason some people have it worse it's like that you know you got to look maybe it won't have look on the bright side like all of that doesn't feel necessarily real in the moment so being a positive person an optimistic person when circumstances allow it is great but when the circumstances don't allow it it isn't positivity for me it's realism and idealism and making both those things bump into each other this sucks and I believe I can make a miracle out of this not because I'm positive because I am who I am and that comes with identity work and strength and constantly putting yourself back in the game so that's my idea yeah I hands down agree I think like for me it's always been you've been able to really hold the space of like both of us being like this sucks this is the worst why is you know we've gone into it and I was like okay now what now what now what are you going to do now who you going to become now what do you have to hold and I want to Circle this back because last year I wasn't in mentorship with you but we were collaborating and opened up Alpha HD and also um I did work with with um The Matrix and Miami and all of the things and I think what's more important than thinking we need to be positive is being around the people that hold standards and for me when I was in in mentorship for you I definitely unconsciously dropped my standards and I attracted in situations where standards were dropped and it was a really like coming into this year it was a really out-of- Body Experience because it was like oh when we're not constantly around the people that are doing great things holding big things becoming big things became big things understand the world in a different way we just we are the five people that we're around like that's who we become and we don't even realize that that's what's becoming of us so I don't even look at like it it's needing to be positive or dealing with rejection or low self-esteem it's like who are you around who is your mind connected to who are you sinking with who are you talking about crappy things that happened and what do you guys end that conversation with oh something that we're going to go become a big lesson from that what did you learn how did you grow what are you taking from that like the conversations are extremely different and you just by being in collaboration with these people in mentorship in peer relationships become a person that that's normal that's normal that's normal and that's who you become and that's how you act and that's how you think and that's what you hold and the second we drop out of that I believe we again aren't having those conversations we don't have those peers were not Linked In that's now what's normal and I think in understanding that if you want to become someone greater than who you've been you really have to be so careful with who you're around and you really do your your peers and your mentorship needs to be top priority in order for you to grow I honestly don't think I would be who I am without you and I have no like attachment or trauma bonding in that it it's true because I was not around people that would be able to direct me and support me in those ways so we could all say oh you could do it by yourself I don't think so you know there's going to be a very rare person but even still they're seeking those people they're seeking those books they're seeking those those mentors they're seeking those relationships they're on a mission to find people like them and that's how we actually grow and become someone and what I like about this and what I would just I would put here is that what is normal is Being Human with we're influenced by people we're influenced by things negative emotions have more weight than positive emotions at a certain point in our life we start to feel like we're old and we're declining we start to think that it's not possible for us we stop believing in what's possible we blame our past for why we're not who we want to be and we believe the future is going to be like that that's that's just being human but what personal development does what coaching does what mentorship does it's super human so what really helped me get here was also realizing I'm not less than when I can't do this I'm normal when I can't do this when I have a terrible day when my whole life's falling apart and I think I suck and I'm not below anything that's what normal looks like that's what most people look like look at people's faces on the subway they're just miserable looking out the window going to a job they don't like thinking about the conversation they're going to have to have that they don't want to have and how bad it's going to be and thinking about their financial situation and their difficult relationship like it people have problems people worry people PE this is human but someone somewhere started philosophizing I don't that's word but started saying like what is there more is there better is there more and as you as you decide that you're going to go for more your life and you surround yourself with people who really do think that way you start to change your mind you start to raise your standards and this what happened with Amy is her standards did really start to rise and that created a magnet for her identity her reputation her clients her brand and then eventually it they Rose so big that it kind of made some people uncomfortable because then they felt not as good because this is what happens you raise your standard the people around you that didn't raise their standard all of a sudden fear that you won't love them anymore feel that you think you're better than them fear that blah blah blah but if you hold your ground craziest thing happens they start to calibrate too because they're like you know what this actually makes a lot of sense this is actually quite great this is actually quite nice so it's you're not bad when you don't do it you're just incredible when you do like everybody knows what they're like what they are at at their worst everybody knows what that looks like but not everyone finds out what their best looks like and that's to me what this work is about when I said to her on that when I would that first time came through to me to tell her this is a Jesus walks on water kind of thing you're going to say I don't no one is expecting you to say what I'm going to tell you it felt so important to preface it by that because it wasn't like okay so here's what's here's the plan because it would be like how who why that's not fair why do I have to hold myself to that standard when he can just say that when they can behave that like that why am I doing this and it's like this is what's changed my life is I don't behave based on how other people behave I I I try every moment that I can to respond the way I want to respond separate from everybody else it's hard it's not easy especially when people are rude and obnoxious and they want to get a rise out of you like oh sometimes it's really difficult but as a rule of thumb in my life I'm thinking what if the whole world was watching and it's wild how M how higher of a standard I have now in general than I ever thought I could and when I'm around people who matter to me and I know that I matter to matter to them I can hold that standard a lot higher if it feels like you don't matter and no matter what you do doesn't matter and nobody cares anyway so you raise your standard in how much you feel you care they care it matters you you choose the people when I'm around this person I think higher vibrational thoughts I take higher vibrational moves I I have Jesus walks on water moments where I say things where I'm like I will remember that conversation for the rest of time I made history in my own life and the way that I handled that I I've changed the trajectory of that relationship because of that one conversation I handled myself in a way I'll never forget those moments they change you and so I I really value what Amy has said here it's like to stay connected like what we're talking about here and this is also so important like we're talking about what it took for Amy to then end up building multi-million dollar company what it takes for me to hold you know multi-millions of dollars a month Alpha FM like the huge company what does it take at that level so it's not expected that you're going to go zero to being able to hold all of this but what it starts to show is like there is a Road between where you are and where you're going and that road if you're on the right path actually makes you better at everything you can handle handle conflict you can handle disagreements you can handle financial difficulties stress pressure relationship breakdowns you can handle miscommunications family stuff friend stuff projection stuff online stuff breakdowns and then you can come back rebuild yourself get everything you've ever wanted to flip the way you wanted it your Jesus walk walk on water moment pays off the money you've ever wanted is there but it's going to be one story at a time one story at a time that's how this is built and if you can take something like the biggest thing away from this work of art that has become this woman because really you look at her now with her kids and what she's gone through with all three of them you know she's do going live on Facebook with hris on her boob like she literally there's no there's no limit to what was done in order to achieve this but while prioritizing alignment while prioritizing emotional regulation while prioritizing her support as much as she could get it in order to make it to a place where she could actually encourage other people to go on that Journey that's a that's a person's voyage that is something to be celebrated that is something to be admired but more so it's something to to say I see you and like you might not feel that Amy is relatable on a day-to-day basis but on the day that you've built everything that she's built or you know your version of that and my hope and my desire is that you will she'll be the most relatable person that you'll ever have known because she'll be the only person who knows what it takes and it's good to have a person like that when you're building it sometimes it's tough because it's like this person won't won't take any of my BS but once you've built it you're like that's one of the only person that's one of the only people on Earth that actually know what it took me to do this and nothing can replace that thank you so I actually have interesting questions from the alpha fem team ah um I wonder if they can send it to me privately because I just realized that my my phone just died so if you can just Alpha fem team send me in this chat hear some of the questions because it's there there's some like just about you questions that I think is always fun especially because people are going to get to know you more and now they've heard your rock star story they've heard your what you've overcome what you did what you built like the relationship turnaround the raising your kids the turning things around with friends family the your brand your money like at this point it's almost impossible to ignore that you the Jesus walks on water thing like you you did it but now there's some things that like let's get to know you a little bit so one of the things one of the questions that I really like is like do you have a funny or embarrassing story that you could share with the group that would be light-hearted and make them feel like they know you a little more okay you guys this is actually involves Alpha fam team and I just told Jenna my photographer the other night she's like this is one of the funniest things I've ever heard about you so when we were in Miami the first time um Jack and I shot during the day so we were in like Fashion District shooting it was so hot we were the we were starving models we like literally we're on this time crunch so we're like we have to eat something now or else like we won't eat we're like looking for food we can't find food anywhere we found a popsicle so Jack and I are eating this Popsicle like it's like the heartiest thing in the world we're like oh my God this Popsicle so fing so we have the popsicle we go back we're like oh my gosh we have way less time than we thought we were going to have we got to get ready we're having like the night we're meeting the team and this is the first time that we've actually met the team in person going to this beautiful restaurant we got to look good we're actually about to go to the room pop champagne I didn't even shower so it's probably even smelly from sweating all day it was just it was an outfit change into champagne acting like we're all clean and fresh so we then get to the um restaurant and I'm at this point shaking I'm so hungry I'm like okay just walk up the stairs don't pass out don't pass out don't pass out walk up the stairs we sit down we're at this table Jack's over there I'm here Vanessa's beside me someone else is beside me we order some appetizer some food so you know the peppers uh uh what are shashito Peppers or whatever they're called those come out one in 10 is spicy yes also with edamami at the table it's so dark in here and remember I'm like borderline blacking out okay I'm so hungry I go get the edamami thinking it's the pepper I eat the whole edamami the the shell everything and at this point now I'm committed to swallowing the head of Mommy because I can't so I'm like crunching it I'm like I can't believe that's ate of mommy like I just stuffed it in my mouth so hungry so I'm like okay well that Bowls the other way with this I thought for sure you ate a spicy shashido pepper no no you went all in eating so then I'm like oh this is the pepper Bowl so one in 10 of these peppers are going to be hot I don't like spicy food hot spicy food I grab a pepper again shaking and Mommy didn't do it but I wasn't risking it get a pepper I get the hot pepper I'm like this is happening right now then I'm like oh my God my mouth is on fire again I don't like spicy so then I'm like still in a in a survival find the water find the water I grabbed Vanessa's wine and I chug it thinking it's my water glass like I chugged the wine and I'm like oh my God that wasn't water so again if you know me and this is where Jenna was dying cuz she's like you're so classy and like you would have just been like oh like nobody would have known and inside I'm freaking out I'm like this is the most embarrassing thing ever so then obviously I figure out it's wine I turned my Vanessa was just looking at me like were and then I'm like I'm so sorry like I didn't realize that was your wine I'm sorry my mouth was on fire I thought it was water she's just like again like acted like okay like now thinking the first impression Vanessa has of me is I'm chugging everyone and I didn't take a sip like I went like and then she's just like oh it's okay none of this is okay I'm so embarrassed literally I was dying I still like pee myself about it and then and I didn't tell anybody I didn't tell anybody at the table that I just ate at a mommy I didn't tell anybody I just had a hot pepper I was just like I'm so sorry I didn't realize that was your she it's okay this is the first dinner ever meeting the Alpha Team in person and I'm still like oh my God I'm gonna pass out I just need some food now oh my God Amy that is the best story I didn't even know that so I do a lot of embarrassing things like again you all think I'm just like oh because I show up a certain way I'm constantly like oh my God as if okay well I love that and I love that I know that about you I'll keep my my wine far far away from you in the future okay my other question for you what are your favorite three habits or routines that help you stay on track um exercise is number one hands down I literally don't know my me it's good for my mental health it's good for my standards it's good for my energy that is number one um number two would be getting really great sleep like I am I need sleep in order to function and if I can't get so obviously when Hendrix was a baby and my kids were babies I didn't have the best sleep but I would have like good nighttime routines so it's all about like energy if I couldn't get a solid seven hours of sleep I know my night's going to be divided up so was really taking great care of myself um and then another one would be um okay well like keeping things as tidy as possible and then and I'm not NE necessarily A tidy person but I am constantly tidying up um that's like a habit I guess in my house and then also like to stay on track would be like journaling so prayer journaling connection to Faith and just being an open vessel to like what do I need to know today God what do you need to me to do today so just really being open to God and journaling Visions Futures manifestations that is awesome so what can people kind of expect from you because you are going to be contributing to this group more they're going to see you now and I wanted them to be able to know who they're seeing when they're seeing you so what do you want to bring to this space okay well number one obviously human design so I'm going to be doing at least one training and they'll be scheduled inside of the group um about human designs so some of it will be like HD 101 trainings other pieces will be more of the energetics which really is is my Mastery so energetics connecting human design into our own lives standards Etc and then I really like um like I like the behind the scenes I'm like that kind of girl I like to see other things that people are doing what their habits are like so I want to bring some like makeup stuff some beauty stuff some um here's what I went through today so just some random lives that that are going in that I feel like people would benefit in their growth and also seeing again who we are in order to hold what we have or who I am in order to um to hold what I have Mom life stuff I'm I'm a really big Hands-On parent and uh also raising my kids with a limited Limitless mindset so I want to bring some of that in here and how I how I parent and how I co-lead with my children so just some fun random things that are kind of off the cuff that I don't really bring out online well that is incredible I'm really happy and grateful that you're going to be doing this in this group I'm excited for everyone to get to have your energy and your presence in this group and to get to raise their standards through how you're raising yours thank you for taking this time with me I'm I've loved every second of it you blow me away as as always you blow all of our minds and we're just grateful for your contribution and your willingness to share your wisdom your knowledge your strength and your standards so thank you thank you thank you thank you for everything today this was amazing I love you so much and actually I'm going to answer one more question on this list it said um who has been the most influential person in your life so so outside of anybody in my family it is Melanie and leay honestly if you did not go first I would not be here so thank you for your courage for holding everything that you've held for becoming who you are and I don't think people really realize it of who you've needed to become because even in the story that you telling who you were to who you are now there is a a day every single day where you were becoming a greater version of yourself holding more than most people will ever understand in your life and continuing to bring so much joy into our lives and standards for us so thank you I love you I love you thank you so much Amy this means so much to me okay okay so I'm gonna address the group we're gonna take a few minute break so that you can pee and get yourself a glass of water or something and then we're going to come back with Jacqueline afterwards but I want to really say from the bottom of my heart this is something that I've really had to work on and I was like super vulnerable behind the scenes moment I'm going to share with you but when I first started this work it was the greatest feeling of my life when people would say like I think you just changed my marriage I think you just changed my life like you you really like I'll never be able to thank you enough like you changed my life and I want I'm introducing you to my sister I'm introducing you to my cousin I'm introducing you like I want everybody to listen to you I want you to be able to talk to them can you speak to my friend and tell her what you did can you do that same kind of call you did for her that you did for me can you talk to these like it was so much and it it I felt like my purpose was so big because it really felt like I was some sort of messenger like I I would do the work and I would really only I only led by experience there's nothing I ever taught that I couldn't give a personal reference to I really took this work seriously but I I really felt like I was making a ginormous difference on this planet and the when Alpha fem came it was the same thing it was like this is the standard I want to set for women I want to help people like I want to help people I want to be the reason that someone goes from I don't think I can to I can like I want to do that I want to be the reason I want to be the change I want to do it and that it you know back in 2015 16 17 18 there was never a thought in my mind that any of those thoughts were bad and I think one of the big reasons I never thought those thoughts are bad is also because I never thought these people are incapable and if if it wasn't for me they would suck and if it wasn't for me they would fail like I didn't have the flip side of that I also had this ginormous belief in people because it felt like if I could break through then other people can break through and if I can tell them that before they have to have their you know come to Jesus moment or Dark Knight of the Soul if I can if I can show up in their lives on a live stream or through a referral or like if I can just show up in their lives like that and I can be a catalyst I can be the reason they they pivot earlier than I I am changing people's lives I'm I'm making it that they're making the amount of money they would make in 10 years in one year like I want to show them how to do that I I I want to help them either walk away from the marriage or or or work with the marriage like if I can be the reason they start looking at this instead of the end is here or we failed or we're in a big predic like if I can show up before the predicament does I'm going to change people's lives and there was kind of a a trend in 2021 2022 of like you're not supposed to say that you that you're the one you can't say that you're going to change people's lives like it's it's not right to say that and I really sat with it because I was like that feels so sad to me because I think a lot of us the healers the ones who really do this because it is to change people's lives like to take that part out of the language makes it really hard to re to to figure out why we're doing this at all then like if I'm not actually changing your life then what's the point if I'm not actually showing you a new world and helping you tap into a whole new Financial Dimension if I'm not helping you be grateful for what you have but also incrementally grow until you're walking on sunshine doing the moonwalk telling me Melanie and lair my life has changed then why am I doing this just for the money because I have a company like it just I just didn't feel enough and so it's been difficult for me because I've trained myself to not allow it in when people have said you know you changed my life I just I trained myself not to feel it to just wonder like is before I could figure out if I was in agreement with whether it's a good thing or not but this is what I realized if it sounds the way it sounds when Amy says it I'm okay with it because I know she knows that she changed her life I just had one heck of a lot of influence on how that happened and the only reason I could have that influence is because of how I led my life and how much I cared about her life changing about one day getting the win for both of us it felt like a Triumph earlier this year when I got that message from her like the the Jesus Walks moment just paid off I have to tell you the conversation I just had like that that that's what made all of it worth it and so I love what Amy is saying and I think there's always so much Nuance the goal here is not for you to find a person that's going to change your life the goal is for you to change your life but if you lack the willpower the vision the standards and it keeps slipping or dropping that's okay that's normal most people don't let make things stick that's most people on the planet don't but I think that the internet was created for us in in this kind of sense where we can connect to whoever we want on the internet so if there is a person who does activate you if there are people who raise your standards just by being around them if there are people who open your heart by being around them if there are people that you can genuinely say my life is different because you're in it I think that is one of the most beautiful things in the world as long as it doesn't disempower you you know Amy said would I have done it without you I don't think so she didn't say I I would have been incapable of this without you it's like would I have done it probably not because I didn't know I didn't there was a there was a brick ceiling I just didn't I didn't know so if you can like see the honor and the beauty in this of like I honor the influence you've had on my life you came at the right time and because of you I did the things that are really who I wanted to be thank you that's such a beautiful mature meaningful relationship and honest to goodness this is this is why I find the passion every day to do what I do is because I know that for the right clients that's that is what the conversation is and it it's what it's all about I don't want to come into your life and take the the the story of how your life changed I just want to make sure your life changes I want you to have what you want I want you to be proud of you I want you to know that you did it but it's great to have an ally it's great to have a a partner that you say gosh I'm so grateful you were there for that like that's a good thing not to disempower you not to make you feel like you're not capable it's the opposite Together We rise shoulder toosh shoulder and I think the world needs more of that right now less I did it by myself less I'm a lone wolf less nobody helped me and I'm self-made and more of it took a village and I'm proud of myself for who I chose and I'm glad I never gave up and thank you for being the light that that kind of conversation is what brings people together and I think that mentorship has such a an honorable reason for being it really is the most beautiful relationship it's like to have someone that cares about you and your growth and your success that you can go to somebody that you're aspiring to learn from and that you respect like the world needs more of that not from a hierarchy place from a shoulder toosh shoulder but like come stand shoulder-to-shoulder here where there's more influence where there's more money where there's more power for both of us and then eventually you do and you stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the people who inspired you and you look them right in the eye and you say thank you not because you're not good enough because you're great that's the whole beauty of it it's because you're great that you can say thank you and mean it is because you're standing shoulder-to-shoulder with a person you once looked up to and you can say we did it and that that's what this is all about for me so let's take a little break so I can and fix my makeup and have a little pee we will come back it's 2:35 eastern time we're probably going to go a little over I'm sorry I apologize also you're welcome depending on how you're feeling about it but we'll just take five minutes we'll come back at 40 just take a few minutes pee and then I'll meet you back here in like five minutes or so for part two