the outsiders by s e hinton chapter one when i stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house i had only two things on my mind paul newman and a ride home i was wishing i looked like paul newman he looks tough and i don't but i guess my own looks aren't so bad i have light brown almost red hair and greenish gray eyes i wish they were more gray because i hate most guys that have green eyes but i have to be content with what i have my hair is a little longer than a lot of boys wear stairs squared off in the back and long at the front and sides but i am a greaser and most of the my neighborhood rarely bothers to get a haircut besides i look better with long hair i had a long walk home and no company but i usually loan it anyway for no reason except that i like to watch movies undisturbed so i can get into them and live them with the actors when i see a movie with someone it's kind of uncomfortable like having someone read your book over your shoulder i'm different that way i mean my second oldest brother soda who's 16 going on 17 never cracks a book at all and my oldest brother daryl who we call dairy works too long and hard to be interested in a story or drawing a picture so i'm not like them and nobody in our gang digs movies and books the way i do for a while there i thought i was the only person in the world that did that so i loaned it soda tries to understand at least which is more than dairy does but then soda is different from anybody he understands everything almost like he's never hollering at me all the time the way darry is or treat me as if i was six instead of 14 i love soda more than i've ever loved anyone even mom and dad he's always happy-go-lucky and grinning while dairy's hard and firm and rarely grins at all but when darry's gone but then darry's gone through a lot in his 20 years growing up too fast sodapop will never grow up at all i don't know which way is the best i'll find out one of these days anyway i went on walking home thinking about the movie and then suddenly wishing i had some company greasers can't walk alone too much or they'll get jumped or someone will come by and scream greaser at them which doesn't make you feel too hot if you know what i mean we get jumps by the socials i'm not sure how you spell it but it's the abbreviation for the socials the jet set the west side rich kids it's like the term griezer which is used to class all us boys on the east side we're poorer than the socialists in the middle class i reckon we're wilder too not like the socials who jump greasers and wreck houses and throw beer blasts for kicks and get editorials in the paper for being a public disgrace one day and an asset to society the next greasers are almost like hoods we steal things and drive old souped up cars and hold up gas stations and have a gang fight once in a while i don't mean i do things like that darry would kill me if i got into trouble with the police since mom and dad were killed in an auto wreck the three of us get to stay together only as long as we behave so soda and i stay out of trouble as much as we can and we're grateful not to get caught when we can't i mean i only mean that most greasers do things like that just like we wear our hair long and dress and blue jeans and t-shirts or leave our shirt tails out and wear leather jackets and tennis shoes or boots i'm not saying that either socials or greases are better that's just the way things are i could have waited to go to the movies until darry or sodapop got off work they would have gone with me or driven me there or walked along although soda just can't sit still long enough to enjoy a movie and they bore dairy to death darry thinks his life is enough without inspecting other peoples or i could have gotten one of the gangs to come along one of the four boys darian soda and i have grown up and with and considered family we're almost as close as brothers when you grow up in a tight-knit neighborhood like ours you get to know each other real well if i had thought about it i could have called darry and he would have come by on his way home and picked me up or two-bit matthews one of our gang would have come to get me in his car if i had asked him but sometimes i just don't use my head it drives my brother dary nuts when i do stuff like that because i'm supposed to be smart i make good grades and i have a high q iq and everything but i don't use my head besides i like walking i about decided i didn't like it so much though when i spotted that red corvair trailing me it was almost two i was almost two blocks from home then so i started walking a little faster i had never been jumped but i had seen johnny after four socials got a hold of him and it wasn't pretty johnny was scared of his own shadow after that johnny was 16 then i knew it wasn't any use though the fast walking i mean even before the corvair pulled up beside me and five socials got out i was pretty scared i'm kind of small for 14 even though i have a good bill and those guys were bigger than me i automatically hitched my thumbs in my jeans and slouched wondering if i could get away if i made a break for it i remembered johnny his face all cut up and bruised and i remembered how he had cried when we found him half conscious in the corner lot johnny had an awful rough at home it took a lot to make him cry i was sweating something fierce although i was cold i could feel my palms getting clammy and the perspiration running down my back i get like that when i'm real scared i glanced around for a pop bottle or a stick or something steve randall soda's best buddy had once held off four guys with a busted pop bottle but there was nothing so i stood there like a bump on a log while they surrounded me i don't use my head they walked around slowly silently smiling hey grease once said in an over friendly voice we're going to do you a favor griezer we're going to cut all that long greasy hair off he had on a madras shirt i can still see it blue madras one of them laughed then cussed me out on a low voice i couldn't think of anything to say there just isn't a whole lot you can say while waiting to get mugged so i kept my mouth shut need a haircut greaser the medium blonde pulled a knife out of his back pocket and flipped the blade open i finally thought of something to say no i was backing up away from that knife of course i backed right into one of them they had me down in a second they had my arms and legs pinned down and one of them was sitting on my chest with his knees on my elbows and if you don't think that hurts you're crazy i could smell the english leather shaving lotion and stale tobacco and i wondered foolishly if i would suffocate before they did anything i was scared so bad i was wishing i would i fought to get loose and almost did for a second then they tightened up on me and the one on my chest slugged me a couple of times so i lay still swearing at them between gasps a blade was held against my throat how'd you like that haircut to begin just below the chin it occurred to me then that they could kill me i went wild i started screaming for soda dairy anyone someone put his hand over my mouth and i bit as hard as i could tasting the blood running through my teeth i heard a mudder curse and then they were stuffing a handkerchief in my mouth one of them kept saying shut them up for pete say shut them up then there were shouts in the pounding of feet and the socials jumped up and left me lying there gasping i lay there and wondered what in the world was happening people were jumping over me and running by me and i was two days to figure it out then someone had me under the armpits and was hauling me to my feet it was darry are you all right ponyboy he was shaking me and i wish he'd stop i was dizzy enough anyway i could tell it was darry though partly because of the voice and partly because darry's always rough with me without meaning to be i'm okay quit shaking me darry i'm okay he stopped instantly i'm sorry he wasn't really darry isn't ever sorry for anything he does it seems funny to me that he should look just exactly like my father and act exactly the opposite from him my father was only 40 when he died and he looked 25 and a lot of people thought darry and dad were brothers instead of father and son but they only looked like my father was never rough with anyone without meaning to be darry is six foot two and broad shouldered and muscular he has dark brown hair that kicks out in front and a slight cowlick in the back just like dads but dairy's eyes are his own he's got eyes that are like two pieces of pale blue green ice they've got a determined set to them like the rest of him he looks older than twenty tough cool and smart he would be real handsome if his eyes weren't so cold he doesn't understand anything that is not plain hard fact but he uses his head i sat down again rubbing my cheek where i had been slugged the most darry jammed his fist in his pockets they didn't hurt you too bad did they they did i was smarting and aching and my chest was sore and i was so nervous my hands were shaking and i wanted to start bawling but you just don't say that to derry i'm okay sodapop came lopping back by then i had figured that all the noise i had heard was the gang coming to my rescue he dropped down beside me examining my head you gotta cut up a little hump on the boy i only looked at him blankly i did he pulled out a handkerchief with the end of it with his tongue and pressed it gently against the side of my head you're bleeding like a stuck pig i am look he showed me the handkerchief reddened as if by magic did they pull a blade on you i remembered the voice need a haircut greaser the blade must have slipped while he was trying to shut me up yeah soda is handsomer than anyone else i know not like dairy soda's movie star kind of handsome the can that people stop on the street to watch go by he's not as tall as darry and he's a little slimmer but he has a finely drawn sensitive face that somehow manages to be reckless and thoughtful at the same time he's got dark gold hair that he combs back long and silky and straight and in the summer the sun bleaches it to a shining weak gold his eyes are dark brown lively dancing recklessly laughing guys that can be gentle and sympathetic one moment and blazing with anger the next he has dad's eyes but soda is one of a kind he can get drunk in a drag race or dancing without ever getting near alcohol in our neighborhood it's rare to find a kid that doesn't drink once in a while but soda never touches a drop he doesn't need to he gets drunk on just plain living and he understands everybody he looked at me more closely i looked away hurriedly because if you want to know the truth i was starting the ball i knew i was as white as i felt and i was shaking like a leaf soda just put his hand on my shoulder easy pony boy there ain't no they ain't gonna hurt you no more i know i said but the ground was beginning to blur and i felt hot tears running down my cheeks i brushed them away impatiently i'm just a little spooked that's all i drew a quivering breath and quit crying you just don't cry in front of derry not unless you're hurt like johnny had been that day we found him in the vacant lot compared to johnny i wasn't hurt at all soda rub my hair you're an okay kid pony i had to grin at him sona can make you grin no matter what i guess it's because he's always grinning so much himself you're crazy soda out of your mind looked as if he liked to knock our heads together you're both nuts soda merely cocked one eyebrow a trick he picked up from two-bit it seems to run in his family darry stared at him for a second then crack the grin soda isn't afraid of him like everybody else and enjoys teasing him i just assumed he's a fully grown grizzly but for some reason dairy seems to like being teased by soda our gang had chased the socials to their car and heaved rocks them they came running toward us now four lean hard guys they were all as tough as nails and looked it i had grown up with them and they accepted me even though i was younger because i was darry and soda's kid brother and i kept my mouth shut good steve randall was 17 tall and lean with thick greasy hair he combed into complicated swirls he was cocky smart and so does best bunny since grade school steve's specialty was cars he could lift a hub cap quicker and more quietly than anyone in the neighborhood but he also knew cars upside down and backward and he could drive anything on wheels he and soda worked at the same gas station steve part-time and soda full-time and their station got more customers than any other in town whether it was because steve was so good with cars or because soda attracted girls like honey draws flies i couldn't tell you i like steve only because he was soda's best friend he didn't like me he thought i was a tag alone and a kid soda always took me with them when they went places if they weren't taking girls and that bugged steve it wasn't my fault soda always asked me i didn't ask him soda doesn't think i'm a kid two-bit matthews was the oldest of the gang and he was the wise cracker of the bunch he was about six feet tall stocky and billed and very proud of his long rusty colored sideburns he had gray eyes and a wide grin and couldn't stop making funny remarks to save his life you couldn't shut that guy up he always had to get two bits worth in hence the nickname even his teachers got forgot his name real name was keith and we hardly remember that he had one life was one big joke to two-bit he was famous for shoplifting and his black handle switchblade which he couldn't have acquired without his first talent and he was always smart enough to the cops he really couldn't help it everything he said was so irresistibly funny that he had to just let the police in on it to brighten up their dull lives that's the way he explained it to me he liked fights blondes and for some unfathomable reason school he was still a junior at 18 and a half and he never learned anything he just went for kicks i liked him real well because he kept us laughing at ourselves as well as other things he reminded me of will rogers maybe it was the grin