you developed these various phobias and it got to the point where I I was like nervous to leave the house right and I was worried I was going to have panic attacks in public and it starts like taking over your life because the anxiety or the depression is like dictating what you do right like my depression got really bad in in high school as I said earlier in the Stream where I had to literally go into the guidance ccer every week and tell them like okay I'm not going to kill myself this week right it got that bad because at at home I was being told like you're nothing you're nothing you're worthless you know you'll never be anything like this and that like now I run a multi-million dollar company and a lot of people see me as one of the best daating coaches in the world if not the best and you know I also worked on the the nuclear missile defense I've accomplished you know a whole bunch of things but I was told all growing up I would never be anything you have to kind of let that motivate you instead of instead of saying oh you're right you know I'm not going to be anything you have to overcome that [ __ ] anyways okay because like what's the what's the option like you're not going to go live miserable your whole life right some people are literally choosing that path and that's not the right way to go okay as I said like we all go through some of you have endured physical or sexual abuse like some of you come from you know even worse home environments than I come from like like Sean Strickland on the theovon podcast for anybody that saw that I did a re reaction to it he literally broke down in tears and said that you know um it was so bad like his father would like beat his mom and like threaten his mom and stuff like that and it got so bad to the point you know where he didn't want to live and stuff like that and he he said he was always like poking at his gum from anxiety from all the the stress at home and he like put a hole in his gum so a lot of people have to go through a lot of [ __ ] and and I've met a lot of people through my time doing cold approach and living all around the world and I I've met girls with horrible stories of of like sexual abuse or sexual attacks or stuff like this and a lot of that stuff just stays with people for a long time right like like this one girl I met it's like her parents came from Iraq or something like that and so she had like Middle Eastern roots and she was like raped multiple times she was like drugged and raped like kept you know like in this house for like a week and was like repeatedly raped by multiple guys and her parents like shamed her for that right her parents said like you're not pure anymore like you're a [ __ ] because of that because of what happened there right she ended up marrying marrying one of my good friends she was a great girl otherwise right but imagine what that does to someone mentally right you're a victim of this this horrible crime and then your parents due to cultural reasons you know see her as UNP you know impure and stuff like that and basically like kind of ostracized her from the family right and so she's already dealing with all this trauma from that event and then on top of it your family is not supporting you right and you're and you're just a younger kid right you know and so you know a lot of people have to go through a lot of really [ __ ] up stuff um which is you know part of life right but you need to find ways to deal with that stuff I I keep stressing you know therapy medication potentially medication but done through a a psychiatrist but turning to substances and turning to some kind of addiction or just like wallowing in Despair and and letting yourself get worse and worse and worse is not the way to go okay and it's not it doesn't make you any less of a man to go ask someone for help right like everyone was telling me like hey dude your alcohol drinking is getting out of control like it got really bad I lost like five smartphones in the final year that I drank in Poland I lost five different smartphones worth over ,000 dollar I missed like all kinds of international flights like you know I was like I fell asleep in the airport at one point between connections and like missed a flight I was like like sleeping in the Airport overnight just like [ __ ] stuff right and and everyone's telling me like hey you need to get this dealt with you need to stop drinking and and you always think you know better when you have an addiction or something you're relying on right and and I said no I'm fine I can handle this it's going to be fine because the last thing you want to do is like get rid of your Escape mechanism right and eventually you you have to like hit enough like Bottoms you have you have to like you know lose enough or or like have like enough wakeup calls where you finally say like okay I don't want to live like this anymore right you don't want to let anxiety or depression dictate your life you don't want to let alcohol or drugs dictate your life and and the various decisions you make and and stuff like that right and once I went for like group therapy for alcohol I saw a bunch of other people having the same struggles as me and it it really humanizes things you you because you're kind of like in your own little world when you have that addiction or that or that thing you're dependent on and then you see okay there's other people that are having the same struggles as me and they're going through a lot of [ __ ] as well I said [ __ ] the industry and did it my way I learn how to roll a weed I didn't roll a skate go in the back I look at the lake and I meditate all I need is one scale a couple Bells came in this [ __ ] by myself do why you [ __ ] girl oh [ __ ] cuz I'm a player quarterback no NFL