now once again Raymond aroyo welcome back to the world over it is hard to believe that it has been 10 years since Maddie stepanic the prolific poet peace Advocate and philosopher passed away at the age of 14 during his short life he captured the hearts of the well-known and the voiceless from Oprah Winfrey to Larry King to Jimmy Carter to countless others all were touched by his message and the faith that shined through it his mother Jenny began a foundation to extend his message and she herself is a courageous example of living and loving Beyond Disability and loss here to talk about mty stonic lasting Legacy and his deep spirituality I'm joined by Mattie's mom Dr Jenny stepanic and also by the director of the Bethlehem house for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities Dolores Wilson thank you both for being here I want to start with you Jenny uh you've been here so often this has to be a Bittersweet milestone for you um yes what are your thoughts as you look back now on 10 years after MD's passing what endures for you what what glistens brightly I think what glistens for me would be that the message that he shared during a very brief lifespan continues to have relevance today mhm not just inspiring other people but I now anchor my life around this message of Hope and peace um Maddie taught us not just how to live well how to live reflecting God's presence but also something about dying well and reflecting God's presence in death and beyond well if you had to summarize that message that heart song that he spent those three years it's unbelievable it was only three years that he was really in the public eye really known and and traveling and giving speeches on talk shows if you had to summarize that message what would it be um he spent 10 years writing and sharing the message and three years in the spotlight and it's a two-fold message one is we're each created with a heart song Some unique purpose and that's comes from God that God doesn't just throw people on Earth there is a plan for each of us MH what Maddie believed his heart song was his me his purpose was to share a message of Hope and peace for the world a message that's hope is real it's not living in denial or ignorance peace is possible if we start at the beginning and understand what peace is and what it's not and that life is worthy even amid the the burdens that have to be balanced in with all the blessings Dolores Wilson how did you first meet mty stonic tell me about that first meeting the meeting was at a high school in southern Maryland and I took my whole Community down to hear Maddie speak to a group of teenagers and he was younger then and it was mesmerizing and uh our friends with developmental disabilities were just ODed by him and after it was over we waited cuz we had to meet Maddie personally it was like a movie star and so we we just thought that was the greatest and that was the beginning of a relationship because we kind of followed every book he wrote Every place where he was or going to be and uh he he just had a manner that was compelling for any audience that he was addressing it didn't matter what their ages were tell me about the Catholicism and his faith and how you saw that working its way out of that message and what that message meant to those particularly with disabilities I'll give both of you a chance at that one Maddie um had a deep sense of both spirituality and a commitment to Catholicism um he was confirmed at a very young age you remember Cardinal Hickey confirmed him when he was eight years old um not as a child with a disability but as a child who had prepared for confirmation and that was spiritually ready according to Cardinal Hickey and then Maddie began lecturing and serving as a catechist uh he worked with second graders and sixth graders um Maddie his Catholicism he had this friendship with god um not just a relationship an actual friendship and Maddie was literally strengthened by the Eucharist the last thing Maddie asked for before he died um was to receive Eucharist um to prepare himself for heaven I want to share with with both of you and with the audience something he wrote and Jenny you shared this with me this was from his diary um 5:30 of 1999 and this was the day he was confirmed now this is an 8-year-old boy remember and he writes um he was asked various questions which is usual at a confirmation and he said I did not just answer offer the answers we learned from reading books and discussing Doctrine and Theology and catechism in class I answered from my heart I shared the book answers but also how each answer affected my heart and my life and my spirit later the Cardinal asks him why did you choose the name Jude Thaddius as your confirmation name and he says I chose ju Jude thus as my name he's the patron saint of hopeless situations which is what my life seems like sometimes and the name thus means loving and friendly which is what I try to be at all times I told Cardinal Hickey that I wanted my life to be remembered as a gift of Hope St J thus helps us get through times that seem hopeless I would like to help people understand the very real gift of hope that hope is not ignoring your problems or pretending that challenges don't exist or even wishing for something that may or may not change hope is just an attitude that grows in our hearts and spirits and that helps us get through whatever problem or challenge or Joy might present itself to us Cardinal hicking came down from the Altar and hugged me and blessed me he told the congregation he' never met a person not even an adult a child or a teen who understood life and God and this message of Hope in such a profound way he told me later that I was a messenger of hope I told him that I have known that my reason for being in Life or my heart song was to be a messenger of Hope and happiness for others since I was very little dores your thoughts on this what it means to people all of us but particularly with those facing disability or or a disease that is grave I think uh that our friends with disabilities loved him so much because he was able to give that message of Hope and they accepted the fact that their life Journey some of them not all of them uh may have a different kind of ending uh sooner than they anticipated but it wasn't a time to think about that because Maddie was there and Maddie brought this fun loving gift that he also possessed he the childlikeness in him and yet the profundity of his his words and the power that he had to share the the depth of his own spirituality with God which is what Jenny has said I have even written pretty much the same words that she has just said absolutely Jenny he did have that Eternal perspective and what one's so young that is such a rare gift and that too is a gift of Hope did he always have that sort of um I almost want to call it an otherworldly appreciation of what of the limits of life and yet how long eternal life was I believe he did I don't remember a time that he did not have this perspective of mortality intertwining with spirituality as a very I'm talking a 2-year-old a three-year-old he understood prayer and um heaven in a way that was beyond his years and I know that's a cliche but it's really true now he did have times where he sometimes was quite frustrated um he didn't live with rose-colored glasses yeah there were times he did struggle with the reality that his purpose was one that was going to involve a short amount of time and a lot of suffering um but he accepted that he embraced that um so he would say the most deep things at ages 2 three and four that some of them actually concerned me as a mother you wonder where are these things coming from yeah cuz they're not things we were talking about at home and not things that he was hearing at at school um so yes I I do believe that that's just something he came in the world with and remained with him and went back with him he he says something here about you in this little diary entri I came across he says my mom has taught me that while there are many many things in life that are not a choice our attitude is always a choice we can have feelings of anger or sadness or Joy or whatever based on things that we may or may not have choice in but how we reflect those feelings into our life and our future and onto others that is our attitude and that reflection is our choice yes I taught him that from when he was very young when he was 2 and a half um his brother died mhm and that was really hard for him one because at that age you don't really understand death but you understand something's changed and there's a loss and this is a child who has this friendship with God already at this young age trying to put together um If Heaven's wonderful why aren't we all there right and um just trying to make sense of all of it and so sometimes he would get sad or angry or confused and so I would talk to him about feelings you can't choose them but you can choose what you do next and that's an attitude um and his whole message that lives on today you asked me what is the glimmer yeah the glimmer is that this message is so starts out abstract and he whittles it down to doable choices anchored in deliberately chosen attitudes and words and thoughts and actions and that's what the whole everything that he writes is it just grows from that one spring of Hope is real peace is possible mhm and that you choose to believe these things obviously since the last time we saw you here on the show your your breathing is more labored uh you you wanted to explain it at the beginning of the show I said why don't we wait and do it as we get as we get into the segment is is it harder for you these days and how are you coping I've had a rough year medically a lot of infections and a virus that um led to a progression of the underlying disease um which is most noticeable in decrease in lung function um and it's actually brought me back it's interesting we're 10 years old and I find myself sitting and reading Maddie's material again um looking for Hope and peace and acceptance that God did not plan this for me but God has a plan in this for me and that's how Maddie thought um so I'm finding my inspiration for my own son as I deal with whatever is out there for me I I want to ask both of you we had Brett be just on the show in the last segment and he was talking about his son who was also at Children's Medical Center here in DC has been has gone through a series of heart operations what do you say to the parents who are facing situations like this where their child either is in the in the midst of a of a Health crisis or has a disease that is weakening their their bodies parents often feel so powerless um what what do you give them as far as advice or or or glimmer of faith that can carry them through I think first uh you sit with them and be compassionate you feel it you try to feel it the same as they do uh because sometimes there are no words yeah and we can sit and say let us pray now they may not want to pray uh you can tell them God is good and they may think no why did this happen to me right and and so I think it's it's where you are at that particular time frame in their life but to be with a person at a time like that has much more extension of effect than telling them let's talk about God right now I agree completely I try not to offer advice if it's relevant or helpful I will share if somebody asks I'll share some of my situation MH but even sharing your own situation that's not helpful very often to a parent in that moment because that moment in their child is what matters most not my experience not my lessons not my advice so being present and being in prayer for them yeah next to them um that's often the best I I I love how you've taken Maddie's example and he took your example and it it it has melded together and it goes on and it is this it's courageous is what it is and it is we have a message to continue we're here for a purpose and that goes on despite the challenges despite even death it goes on and I that is the thing that has always struck me reading your biography of Maddie really it's your story as well as his it's which is one of the most beautiful beautiful books I think we have you should read it it's it's it's life affirming um be a gorgeous book he writes something that I want to I want to end on in this same diary entry this is an eight-year-old child he writes when I die I still want to be a peacemaker I will be alive in heaven and do what I would have done being alive on Earth I will ask God to let me speak to the spirits who are thinking in purgatory and share my heart song with them then they will understand being at peace with their spirit and be able to live in heaven and see the face of God your thoughts on that I didn't read that until after he died um but it fits with so many poems that he wrote Maddie wrote again and again and again that when he died his purpose in heaven was to continue serving God as a messenger um and in fact as he Lay Dying he didn't want to leave me he didn't want to leave Earth because he loved life despite all the suffering but he was excited honestly sincerely excited because he knew he was going to get to serve God and talk to people and help people see the face of God as he would say see the face of God so soon by thinking about Hope and realizing how much God Is With Us yeah no it's a beautiful message the anything to I I am just remembering Jenny telling me um I think it was the day he died uh you called me or I I know we talked about it and he had asked you did I do everything that God wants me to do and that has been I hope I have that question when it comes to be my time the inspiration he's given us is enormous for no those last words I I I speech and I I I sometimes read those last words cuz they are a great um appraisal for all of us and you know have I done enough you know will it last yeah and and then the last yes yes and I wonder I sit and think on that yes and I want to know was he saying yes to me yes to God yes to life was he I won't know until I see him again but he said it this is a child who had spent 3 months broken he didn't even have enough breath at the end to get a word out it had been several days that he couldn't get anything out and then suddenly just loudly he said yes and smiled and that was his last word awesome uh tell me about the mty stonic Peace Day initiative before we uh conclude here and tell people about the big uh anniversary celebration we're planning great um well the Peace Day initiative is just um we're asking President Obama to declare Maddy's birthday July 17th a national day of peace Maddie stonic Peace Day it has a support of congressmen Senators um so far 1,700 people that have signed our online petition um on mty online.com um and people have asked why do we need a national holiday when there's an international one and the answer is because you got to start at home you don't start by ending Wars in other countries we have to start and teach our children about kindness and not bullying and we need to trust and nurture each other here at home MH and why anchored to Maddie because Maddie when you hear his name when you read about him he reminds you of Peace he makes you stop and he took that abstract concept and made it achievable it's not about ending War it's about beginning piece here and so that's why so hoping your viewers will join us and senators and congressmen and and uh world leaders and and uh media personalities have all signed on to the petition it's at mattye online.com you can find out more there now to Mark the 10th anniversary of Matty stonic passing the MD J at stonic Guild now this is full disclosure I am a founding member of The Guild it's it's to focus on his cause and potential cause for sainthood we will be hosting a mass of Thanksgiving and Remembrance on Sunday June 22nd at 300 p.m. Eastern at The Franciscan Monastery here in Washington DC appropriately on the Feast of Corpus Christi all are invited to attend and I have info up on my website Raymond roo.com it's there at the bottom of the website uh if don't know where the Franciscan Monastery is you can find some help there Jenny Dolores thank you both for being here we'll see you on Sunday see you Sunday well that is all the time we have until next week the show continues on Facebook and Twitter like me on Facebook follow me on Twitter the links are at Raymond roo.com on the leand side of the site now for that bit of news I teased earlier the cover of the new children's series I've been working on for several years the first book of the series Kerman durman and the relic of perilous Falls releases September 8th everywhere it is a supernatural Thriller for the 11-year-old in all of us I'll be sharing more details in the days ahead about the book I just posted the cover on my Facebook and Twitter pages if you retweet that image or repost it I may choose you as one of the handful of people to receive an early reader of the entire book you have two weeks to tweet or Facebook the cover I'll be giving away 10 maybe a few more signed early readers be the first to experience Kerman durman and his incredible Adventures the cover is online right now [Music]