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Learning to Not Take Things Personally
Sep 11, 2024
Lecture on Taking Things Personally
Introduction
The lecture begins with an analogy of a football match.
The speaker is a football referee, sharing experiences and learnings.
Motivation for Becoming a Referee
Not for financial gain (only 20 euros per match).
Reasons:
To stay in good shape.
To learn how not to take things personally.
Taking Things Personally
Common issues:
Spectators often shout negative comments, making one a scapegoat.
Everyday situations like driving or canceled appointments can feel personal.
Professionally as a public speaker:
Audience distraction (e.g., using a smartphone) can feel personal.
Strategies to Avoid Taking Things Personally
Strategy #1: "It's Not About Me"
Shift perspective to consider other person's intentions.
Example situations:
Audience members might have different priorities or needs.
A child's tantrum is about their needs, not a personal attack.
Requires discipline and practice due to the brain’s tendency towards negative thoughts.
Strategy #2: "It Is About Me"
Self-reflection when feelings are hurt; question your own reactions.
Acknowledge personal insecurities or childhood experiences that might influence sensitivity.
Self-empathy and open communication can alleviate hurt feelings.
Application and Conclusion
Practical application of these strategies can improve personal and professional relationships.
Speaker’s personal experience in football refereeing as a training ground for these strategies.
Encouragement to practice these strategies in daily life for better relationships.
Final analogy with the value of a 20-euro note: despite what might be done to it, it retains its value.
Key Takeaway
Regardless of external actions or words, maintain your inner value and apply these strategies to foster better communication and understanding.
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