Lecture on Emotional Regulation

Introduction

• Lecturer: Dr. Romany
• Topic: Emotional Regulation and its challenges in narcissistic relationships

Narcissistic Relationships and Emotional Regulation

• Key Issue: Narcissistic individuals cannot emotionally regulate.
  • They either react with rage or silent treatment.
• Results in partners walking on eggshells, creating an unstable relationship environment.

Impact of Narcissistic Relationships

• On Children: Growing up with narcissistic parents yields unhealthy emotional regulation models.
  • Anger can become normalized or terrifying.
  • Fear of abandonment.
• Result: Mastery in catering to others' needs but poor self-regulation.

Over-regulation in Survivors

• Survivors tend to over-regulate by bottling up emotions.
• Short-term safety mechanism with long-term physical and mental health consequences.
• Difficulty in expressing emotions naturally like crying or laughing.

What is Healthy Regulation?

1. Express Emotions Appropriately:
   • Identify and respond to the emotion.
   • Example: Cry when sad, laugh when happy.
2. Own Your Emotions:
   • Recognize your emotions are yours alone.
   • Avoid forcing emotions on others.
3. Appropriate Expression:
   • Do not scream, threaten, engage in violence, or abruptly withdraw.
4. Read the Room:
   • Know when and where to express emotions.
   • Maintain social appropriateness.
5. Techniques for Managing Emotions:
   • Use methods like meditation, mindfulness, breathing exercises.
6. Perspective-Taking:
   • Understand that others have different experiences and their feelings are valid as well.
7. Avoid Misconceptions: Not Expressing is Not Regulation:
   • Bottling up emotions is harmful in the long run.
   • May lead to health problems and extreme emotional outbursts.

Emotional Regulation in Mental Health Disorders

• Seen in various disorders: personality disorders, substance use, mood disorders, etc.
• Treatment involves therapy, regulation techniques, and sometimes medication.
• Narcissistic individuals rarely change due to lack of self-awareness.

Practical Tips for Regulation

• Recognize and name emotions internally.
• Practice self-aware and empathic regulation.
• Daily recalibration is necessary for those in narcissistic relationships.

Conclusion

• Importance of healthy regulation for mental health.
• Encouraging self-awareness and emotional expression.
• Exciting News: Dr. Romany's upcoming book "It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People." Available for pre-order.