chapter 20 of Jane air this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org recording by Elizabeth clut Jane air by Charlotte Bronte chapter 20 I had forgotten to draw my curtain which I usually did and also to let down my window blind the consequence was that when the moon which was full and bright for the night was fine came in her course to that space in the sky opposite my casement and looked in at me through the unveiled pains her glorious gaze roused me awaking in the dead of night I opened my eyes on her disc silver white and crystal clear it was beautiful but too solemn I half Rose and stretched my arm to draw the curtain good God what a cry the night its silence its rest was rent in Twain by a Savage a sharp a shrilly sound that ran from end to end of thornfield Hall my pulse stopped my heart stood still my stretched arm was paralyzed the cry died and was not renewed indeed whatever being uttered that fearful shriek could not soon repeat it not the widest winged condor in the Andes could twice in succession send out such a yell from the cloud shrouding his iory the thing delivering such utterance must rest air it could repeat the effort it came out of the third story for it passed overhead and overhead yes in the room just above my chamber ceiling I now heard a struggle a deadly one it seemed from the noise and a half smothered voice shouted help help help three times rapidly will no one come it cried and then while the staggering and stamping went on wildly I distinguished through Plank and plaster Rochester Rochester for God's sake come a chamber door opened someone ran or rushed along the gallery another step stamped on the flooring above and something fell and there was silence I had put on some clothes though horror shook all my limbs I issued from my apartment the sleepers were all roused ejaculations terrified murmurs sounded in every room door after door unclosed one looked out and another looked out the gallery filled gentlemen and ladies alike had quitted their beds and oh what is it who is hurt what has happened fetch light is it fire are there robbers where shall we run was demanded confusedly on all hands but for the Moonlight they would have been in complete darkness they ran to and fro they crowded together some sobbed some stumbled the confusion was inextricable where the devil is Rochester cried colel dent I cannot find him in his bed here here was shouted in return be composed all of you I'm coming and the door at the end of the gallery opened and Mr Rochester Advanced with a candle he had just descended from the upper Story one of the ladies ran to him directly she seized his arm it was Miss Ingram what awful event has taken place said she speak let us know the worst at once but don't pull me down or strangle me he replied for the Mrs Eon were clinging about him now and the two dowagers in vast white rappers were bearing down on him like ships in full sail all right alls right he cried it's a mere rehearsal of much to do about nothing ladies keep off or I shall wax dangerous and dangerous he looked his black eyes darted Sparks calming himself by an effort he added a servant has had the nightmare that is all she's an excitable nervous person she construed her dream into an apparition or something of the sort no out and is taken a fit with fright now then I must see you all back into your rooms for till the house is settled she cannot be looked after gentlemen have the goodness to set the ladies the example Miss Ingram I am sure you will not fail in evincing superiority to idle Terrors Amy and Louisa Return To Your Nest like a pair of doves as you are Madame to the dowagers you will take cold to a dead certainty if you stay in this chill Gallery any longer and so by Dent of alternate coaxing and commanding he contrived to get them all once more enclosed in their separate dormitories I did not wait to be ordered back to mine but retreated unnoticed as unnoticed I had left it not however to go to bed on the contrary I began and stressed myself carefully the sounds I had heard after the scream and the words that had been uttered had probably been heard only by me for they had proceeded from the room above mine but they assured me it was not a servant's dream which had thus struck horror through the house and that the explanation Mr Rochester had given was merely an invention framed to pacify his guests I dressed then to be ready for emergencies when dressed I sat a long time by the window looking out over the silent grounds and silvered Fields and waiting for I knew not what it seemed to me that some event must follow the strange cry struggle and call no Stillness returned each murmur and movement ceased gradually and in about an hour thornfield Hall was again as hushed as a desert it seemed seemed that sleep and night had resumed their empire meantime the moon declined she was about to set not liking to sit in the cold and darkness I thought I would lie down on my bed dressed as I was I left the window and moved with little noise across the carpet as I stooped to take off my shoes a cautious hand tapped low at the door am I wanted I asked are you up asked the voice I expected to hear viz my Master's yes sir and dressed yes come out then quietly I obeyed Mr Rochester stood in the gallery holding a light I want you he said come this way take your time and make no noise my slippers with thin I could walk the matted floor as Softly As a cat he glided up the gallery and up the stairs and stopped in the dark low Corridor of the Fateful thirdd story I had followed and stood at his side have you a sponge in your room he asked in a whisper yes sir have you any salts volatile salts yes go back and fetch both I returned sought the sponge on the washstand the salts in my drawer and once more retraced my steps he still waited he held a key in his hand approaching one of the small black doors he put it in the lock he paused and addressed me again you don't turn sick at the sight of blood I think I shall not I have never been tried yet I felt a thrill while I answered him but no coldness and no faintness just give me your hand he said it will not do to risk a fainting fit I put my fingers into his warm and steady was his remark he turned the key and opened the door I saw a room I remember to have seen before the day Mrs Fairfax showed me over the house it was hung with tapestry but the tapestry was now looped up in one part and there was a door apparent which had then been concealed this door was open a light Shone out of the room within I heard then a snarling snatching sound almost like a dog quarreling Mr Rochester putting down his candle said to me wait a minute and went forward into the inner apartment a shout of laughter greeted his entrance noisy at first and terminating in Grace pool's own Goblin ha ha she then was there he made some sort of arrangement without speaking though I heard a low voice address him he came out and closed the door behind him here Jane he said and I walked around to the other side of a large bed which with its drawn curtains concealed a considerable portion of the chamber an easy chair was near the Bed Head a man sat in it dressed with the exception of his coat he was still his head lent back his eyes were closed Mr Rochester held the candle over him I recognized in his pale and seemingly lifeless face The Stranger Mason I saw too that his Linen on one side and one arm was almost soaked in blood hold the candle said Mr Rochester and I took it he fetched a basin of water from the washstand hold that said he I obeyed he took the sponge dipped it in and moistened the corpse-like face he asked for my smelling bottle and applied it to the nostrils Mr Mason shortly unclosed his eyes he groaned Mr Rochester opened the shirt of the wounded man whose arm and shoulder were bandaged he sponged away blood trickling fast down is there immediate danger murmured Mr Mason Pooh no air scratch don't be so overcome man bear up I'll fetch a surgeon for you now myself you'll be able to be removed by morning I hope Jane he continued sir I shall have to leave you in this room with this gentleman for an hour or perhaps two hours you will sponge the blood as I do when it returns if he feels faint you'll put the glass of water on that stand to his lips and your salts to his nose you will not speak to him on any protext and Richard it will be at the Peril of your life if you speak to her open your lips agitate yourself and shall not answer for the consequences again the poor man groaned he looked as if he dared not move fear either of death or of something else appeared almost to paralyze him Mr Rochester put the now bloody sponge into my hand and I proceeded to use it as he had done he watched me a second then saying remember no conversation he left the room I experienced a strange feeling as the key grated in the lock and the sound of his retreating step ceased to be heard here then I was in the third story fastened into one of its Mystic cells night around me a pale and bloody spectacle under my eyes and hands a murderous hardly separated from me by a single door yes that was appalling the rest I could bear but I shuddered at the thought of Grace pool bursting out upon me I must keep my post however I must watch this ghastly countenance these blue still lips forbidden to unclose these eyes now shut now opening now wandering through the room now fixing on me and ever glazed with the dullness of horror I must dip my hand again and again in the Basin of blood and water and wipe away the trickling Gore I must see the light of the UN snuffed candle wne on my employment the Shadows darken on the rought antique tapestry around me and grow black under the hangings of the vast old bed and quiver strangely over the doors of a great cabinet opposite whose front divided into 12 panels bore in Grim design the heads of the twel Apostles each enclosed in its separate panel as in a frame while above them at the top Rose an eban crucifix and a dying Christ according as the shifting obscurity and flickering gleam hovered here a glanced there it was now the bearded physician lukee that bent his brow now St John's long hair that waved and andon the devilish face of Judas that grew out of the panel and seemed Gathering life and threatened a revelation of the arch traitor of Satan himself in his subordinates form amidst all this I had to listen as well as watch to listen for the movements of the wild beast or the fiend in Yonder side Den but since Mr Rochester's visit it seemed Spellbound all the night night I heard but three sounds at three long intervals a step Creek a momentary renewal of the snarling canine noise and a deep human groan then my own thoughts worried me what crime was this that lived incarnate in this sequestered mansion and could neither be expelled nor subdued by the owner what mystery that broke out now in Fire and now in blood at the deadest hours of night what creature was it that MK in an ordinary woman's face and shape uttered The Voice now of a mocking demon and a non of a carry and seeking bird of prey and this man I bent over this commonplace quiet stranger how had he become involved in the web of horror and why had the fury flown at him what made him seek this quarter of the house at an untimely season when he should have been asleep in bed I had heard Mr Rochester assign him an apartment below what brought him here and why now was he so tame under the violence or treachery done him why did he so quietly submit to the concealment Mr Rochester enforce why did Mr Rochester enforce this concealment his guest had been outraged his own life on a former occasion had been hideously plotted against and both attempts he smothered in secrecy and sank in Oblivion lastly I saw Mr Mason was submissive to Mr Rochester that the impetuous will of the latter held complete sway over the inertness of the former the few words which had passed between them assured me of this it was evident that in their for former intercourse the passive disposition of the one had been habitually influenced by the active energy of the other whence then had Arisen Mr Rochester's dismay when he heard of Mr Mason's arrival why had the mere name of this unresisting individual whom his word now suffice to control like a child fallen on him a few hours since as a thunderbolt might fall on an oak oh I could not forget his look and his paleness when he whispered Jane I have got a blow I have got a blow Jane I could not forget get how the arm had trembled which he rested on my shoulder and it was no light matter which could thus bow the Resolute spirit and thrill the vigorous frame of Fairfax Rochester when will he come when will he come I cried inwardly as the night lingered and lingered as my bleeding patient drooped moaned sickened and neither day nor Aid arrived I had again and again held the water to Mason's white lips again and again offered him the stimulating salts my efforts seemed ineffectual either bodily or mental suffering or loss of blood or all three combined were fast prostrating his strength he moaned so and looked so weak wild and lost I feared he was dying and I might not even speak to him the candle wasted at last went out as it expired I perceived streaks of gray light edging the window curtains Dawn was then approaching presently I heard pilot bark far below out of his distant kennel in the courtyard hope revived nor was it unwarranted in five minutes more the grating key the yielding lock warned me my watch was relieved it could not have lasted more than two hours many a week has seemed shorter Mr Rochester entered and with him the surgeon he had been to fetch now Carter be on the alert he said to this last I give you but half an hour for dressing the wound fastening the bandages getting the patient downstairs and all but to see fit to move sir no doubt of it it is nothing serious he is nervous his spirits must be kept up come set to work Mr Rochester Drew back the thick curtain Drew up the Holland blind let in all the daylight he could and I was surprised and cheered to see how far Dawn was Advanced what Rosy streaks were beginning to brighten the east then he approached Mason whom the surgeon was already handling now my good fellow how are you he asked she's done for me I fear was the faint reply not a wit courage this day fortnite will hardly be a pin the worse of it you've lost a little blood that's all Carter assure him there's no danger I can do that conscientiously said Carter who had now undone the bandages only I wish I could have got here sooner he would not have bled so much but how is this the Flesh on the shoulder is torn as well as cut this wound was not done with a knife there have been teeth here she bit me he murmured she worried me like a tigress when Rochester got the knife from her you should not have yielded you should have grappled with her at once said Mr Rochester but under such circumstances what could one do returned Mason oh it was frightful he added shuddering she looked so quiet at first I warned you was his friend's answer I said be on your guard when you go near her besides you might have waited till tomorrow and had me with you it was mere Folly to attempt the interview tonight and alone I thought I could have done some good you thought you thought yes it makes me impatient to hear you but however you have suffered and are likely to suffer enough for not taking my advice so I'll say no more Carter hurry hurry the sun will soon rise and I must have him off directly sir the shoulder is just bandaged I must look to this other wound in the arm she has had her teeth here too I think she sucked the blood she said she'd drain my heart said Mason I saw Mr Rochester shudder a singularly marked expression of disgust horror hatred warped his countenance almost to Distortion but he only said come be silent Richard and never mind her gibberish don't repeat it I wish I could forget it was the answer you will when you out of the country when you get back to Spanish Town you may think of her as dead and buried or rather you need not think of her at all impossible to forget this night it is not impossible have some energy man you thought you were As Dead As a herring 2 hours since and you were all alive and talking now there Carter is done with you or nearly so I'll make you decent in a Trice Jane he turned to me for the first time since his re-entrance take this key go down to my bedroom and walk straight forward into my dressing room open the top drawer of the Wardrobe and take out a clean shirt and neck handkerchief bring them here and be nimble I went out sought the repository he had mentioned found the Articles named and returned with them now said he go to the other side of the bed while I order his toilet but don't leave the room you may be wanted again I retired as directed was anybody stirring below when you went down Jane inquired Mr Rochester presently no sir all was very still we shall get you off canell dick and it will be better both for your sake and for that of the poor creature in Yonder I have striven long to avoid exposure I should not like it to come at last here car to help him on with his waste coat where did you leave your fur cloak you can't travel a mile without that I know in this damned cold climate in your room Jane run down to Mr Mason's room the one next mine and fetch a cloak you will see there again I ran and returned bearing an immense mantle lined and edged with fur now I've have another errand for you said my untiring master you must away to my room again what a mercy you are showed with velvet Jane a CLA hopping messenger would never do at this juncture you must open the middle drawer of my toilet table and take out a little file and little glass you will find there quick I flew thither and back bringing the desired vessels that's well now doctor I shall take the liberty of administering a dose myself on my own responsibility I got this cordial at Rome of an Italian charlatan a fellow you would have kicked Carter it is not a thing to be used indiscriminately but it is good upon occasion as now for instance Jane a little water he held out the tiny glass and I half filled it from the water bottle and a washstand that will do now wet the lip of the file I did so he measured 12 drops of a crimson liquid and presented it to Mason drink Richard it will give you the heart you lack for an hour or so but will it hurt me is it inflammatory drink drink drink Mr Mason obeyed because it was evidently useless to resist he was dressed now he still looked pale but he was no longer gory and sullied Mr Rochester let him sit 3 minutes after he had swallowed the liquid he then took his arm now I am sure you can get on your feet he said try the patient Rose Carter take him under the other shoulder be of good share Richard step out that's it I do feel better remarked Mr Mason I am sure you do now Jane trip on before us away to The Back Stairs unbolt the side passage door and tell the driver of the post Shad you will see in the yard or just outside for I told him not to drive his rattling Wheels over the pavement to be ready we are coming and Jane if anyone is about come to the foot of the stairs and hem it was by this time half 5: and the sun was on the point of rising but I found the kitchen still dark and Silent the side passage door was fastened I opened it with as little noise as possible all the yard was quiet but the gates stood wide open and there was a post shase with horses ready harnessed and the driver Seated on the box stationed outside I approached him and said the gentleman were coming he nodded then I looked carefully around and listened the Stillness of early morning slumbered everywhere the curtains were yet drawn over the servants chamber windows little birds were just twittering in the blossom blanched Orchard trees whose boughs drooped like white garlands over the wall enclosing one side of the yard the carriage horses stamped from time to time in their closed Stables all else was still the gentleman now appeared Mason supported by Mr Rochester and the surgeon seemed to walk with tolerable ease they assisted him into the shars Carter followed take care of him said Mr Rochester to the latter and keep him at your house till he is quite well I shall ride over in a day or two to see how he gets on Richard how is it with you the fresh air revives me Fairfax leave the window open on his side Carter there is no wind goodbye dick Fairfax well what is it let her be taken care of let her be treated as tenderly as may be let her he stopped and burst into tears I do my best and have done it and will do it was the answer he shut up the sh's door and the vehicle drove away it would to God there was an end of all this added Mr Rochester as he closed and barred the heavy yard Gates this done he moved with slow step and abstracted air towards a door in the wall bordering the orchard I supposing he had done with me prepared to return to the house again however I heard him call Jane he had opened the portal and stood at it waiting for me come where there is some freshness for a few moments he said that house is a mere dungeon don't you feel it so it seems to me a splendid Mansion sir the glamour of an experience is over your eyes he answered and you see it through a Charmed medium you cannot discern that the gilding is slime and the silk Draper's cobwebs that the marble is sworded slate and the polished Woods mere Refuge chips and scaly bark now here he pointed to the leafy enclosure we had entered all is real sweet and pure he strayed down a walk edged with books with apple trees pear trees and cherry trees on one side and a border on the other full of all sorts of old-fashioned flowers stocks Sweet Williams primroses pansies mingled with southernwood sweet Brier and various fragrant herbs they were fresh now as a succession of April showers and gleams followed by a lovely spring morning could make them the sun was just entering the dappled East and his light illumined the wathed and dewy Orchard trees and Shone down the quiet walks under them Jane will you have a flower he gathered a half blown Rose the first on the bush and offered it to me thank you sir do you like this Sunrise Jane that sky with its high and light clouds which are sure to melt away as the day waxes warm this Placid and balmy atmosphere I do very much you have passed a strange night Jane yes sir and it has made you look pale were you afraid when I left you alone with Mason I was afraid of someone coming out of the inner room but I had fastened the door I had the key in my pocket I should have been a careless Shepherd if I had left a lamb my pet lamb so near a Wolf's Den unguarded you were safe will Grace P live here still sir oh yes don't trouble your head about her put the thing out of your thoughts yet it seems to me your life is hardly secure while she stays never fear I will take care of myself is the danger you apprehended last night gone by now sir sir I cannot vouch for that till Mason is out of England nor even then to live for me Jane is to stand on a crater crust which may crack and spew fire any day but Mr Mason seems a man easily LED your influence sir is evidently potent with him he will never set you at Defiance or willfully injure you no no Mason will not defy me nor knowing it will he heard me but unintentionally he might in a moment by one careless word deprive me if not of life yet forever of Happiness tell him to be cautious sir let him know what you fear and show him how to avert the danger he laughed sardonically hastily took my hand and as hastily threw it from him if I could do that simpleton where would the danger be annihilated in a moment ever since I have known Mason I've only had to say to him do that and the thing has been done but I cannot give him orders in this case I cannot say of harming me Richard for it is imperative that I should keep him ignorant that harm to me is possible now you look puzzled and I will puzzle you further you are my little friend are you not I like to serve you sir and to obey you in all that is right precisely I see you do I see genuine contentment in your gate and mean your eye and face when you are helping me and pleasing me working for me and with me in as you characteristically say all that is right for if I bid you do what you thought wrong there would be no light-footed running no neat handed ality no Lively Grace and animated complexion my friend would then turn to me quiet and pale and would say no sir that is impossible I cannot do it because it is wrong and would become immutable as a fixed star well you too have power over me and may injure me yet I dare not show you where I am vulnerable lest faithful and friendly as you are you should transfix me at once if you have no more to fear from Mr Mason than you have from me sir you are very safe God grant it may be so here Jane is an arbor sit down the arbor was an arch in the wall lined with Ivy it contained a rustic seat Mr Rochester took it leaving room however for me but I stood before him sit he said the bench is long enough for two you don't hesitate to take a place at my side do you is that wrong Jane I answered him by assuming it to refuse would I felt have been unwise now my little friend while the sun drinks the Dew while all the flowers in this old Garden awake and expand and the birds fetch their Young Ones breakfast out of the thornfield and the early bees do their first spell of work I'll put a case to you which you must Endeavor to suppose your own but first look at me and tell me you are at ease and not fearing that I ER in detaining you or that you ER in staying no sir I am content well then Jane call to Aid your fancy suppose you were no longer a girl well reared and disciplined but a wild boy indulged from childhood upwards imagine yourself in a remote foreign land conceive that you there commit a capital error no matter of what nature of from what motives but one whose consequences must follow you through life and taint all your existence mind I don't say a crime I'm not speaking of shedding blood or of any other guilty act which might make the perpetrator amenable to the law my word is error the results of what you have done become in time to you utterly insupportable you take measures to obtain relief unusual measures but neither unlawful nor culpable still you are miserable for Hope Has quitted you on the very confines of Life your Sun at noon darkens in an Eclipse which you feel will not leave it till the time of setting bitter and base associations have become the sole food of your memory you wander here and there seeking rest and Exile happiness and pleasure I mean in heartless sensual pleasure such as dulls intellect and blight's feeling heart weary and soul withered you come home after years of voluntary banishment you make a new acquaintance how or where no matter you find in this stranger much of the good and bright qualities which you have sought for 20 years and never before encountered and they are all fresh healthy without soil and without taint such Society revives regenerates you feel better days come back higher wishes purer feelings you desire to recommence your life and to spend what remains you of days in way more worthy of an immortal being to attain this end are you justified in overleaping an obstacle of custom a mere conventional impediment which neither your conscience sanctifies nor your judgment approves he paused for an answer and what was I to say oh for some good spirit to suggest a judicious and satisfactory response vain aspiration the West Wind whispered in the ivy round me but no gentle Ariel borrowed its breath as a medium of speech the Birds Sang in the Treetops but their song however sweet was inarticulate again Mr Rochester propounded his query is the wandering and sinful but now rest seeking and repentant man justified in daring the world's op in order to attach him forever this gentle gracious genial stranger thereby securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of Life sir I answered a wondrous Repose or a sinner's Reformation should never depend on a fellow creature men and women die philosophers falter in wisdom and Christians in goodness if anyone you know has suffered and er let him look higher than his equals for strength to amend and Solace to heal but the instrument the instrument God who does the work ordains the instrument I have myself I tell it you without Parable been a worldly dissipated Restless man and I believe I have found the instrument for my cure in he paused the birds went on carolling the leaves lightly rustling I almost wondered they did not check their songs and Whispers to catch the suspended Revelation but they would have had to wait many minutes so long was the silence protracted At Last I looked up at the tardy speaker he was looking eagerly at me little friend said he in quite a changed tone while his face changed too losing all its softness and gravity and becoming harsh and sarcastic you have noticed my tender penion for Miss Ingram don't you think if I married her she would regenerate me with a Vengeance he got up instantly went quite to the other end of the walk and when he came back he was humming a tune Jane Jane said he stopping before for me you are quite pale with your vigils don't you curse me for disturbing your rest curse you no sir shake hands in confirmation of the word what cold fingers they were warmer last night when I touched them at the door of the mysterious chamber Jane when will you watch with me again whenever I can be useful sir for instance the night before I am married I am sure I shall not be able to sleep will you promise to sit up with me to Bear me company to you I can talk of my lovely one for now you have seen her and know her yes sir she's a rare one is she not Jane yes sir a strapper a real strapper Jane big brown and Buxom with hair just such as the ladies of Carthage must have had bless me there's dent and Lynn in the Stables go in by the Shrubbery through that wicked as I went one way he went another and I heard him in the yard saying cheerfully Mason got the start of you all this morning he was gone before Sunrise I Rose at 4 to see him off end of chapter 20