so there's this weird Phenomenon with women where the more a woman senses that you're trying to impress her the less impressed she actually becomes so if that's the case how do you attract a woman how do you impress her well in this video I want to give you five ways to impress and attract a woman without seeming like you're trying to impress or attract her hi I'm Bobby Rio and one of the things I always hear from guys is how do I get a woman attracted to me what do I have to do or say to kind of capture her attention and her interest well I want to share five sort of weird counter-intuitive ways to do it because the reality is most guys the average nice guy gets this wrong because he goes into an interaction thinking he's going to impress a woman by bragging or by being you know really nice to her and doing her favors or maybe he thinks that if he listens to her problems and agrees with her and shows her that he has a lot in common with her that's going to impress her and get her thinking oh this guy would make a good boyfriend but the reality is those things they may give her the impression that oh you're a nice guy and maybe she might be thinking oh this guy's comfortable I don't mind talking to him but she's not going to feel that attraction to you that she feels towards guys that handle this whole thing differently and I want to talk about the ways that the guys who get this the guys who naturally impress a woman without trying the things that they're doing so let's get right into it and I want to go through five of them right now so to start with and this is probably the least sort of counter-intuitive or weird one yet most guys miss this or they forget to do it when they're with a woman that they're actually attracted to and that is speaking the language of Attraction right which is flirting flirting is the language of Attraction and if there's one skill that you want to master when it comes to impressing a woman it's this ability to flirt because flirting is this sort of under the radar thing right you're talking to a woman you're flirting she knows what's going on you know what's going on but it's all unsaid and for women that that's more exciting to them right they like the tension they like the build up they like the anticipation the subtlety of it and that's why a lot of times if things are going really well with a woman when you're having this conversation and then you do a really direct compliment oh you have really pretty eyes or you're such a cool girl it kind of lets the air out of the balloon a little bit because it disseminates that tension the longer you can keep that tension going by flirting with her the more her attraction to you begins to increase there's a couple reasons for that one is that like I said all of these things the anticipation the build up the subtlety that that's what actually turns a woman on those are the things that get her engaged in a conversation but the second reason that flirting works really well is because it demonstrates to her that you get it that you're probably used to talking to women and you're not nervous around her and you can kind of handle your own with her which in it of self shows that you have social intelligence it probably displays pre-selection to her pre-selection means that other women want you because if you're this comfortable flirting and this good at flirting with her she's going to assume you must have experience with other women doing this as well which impresses her now a lot of guys go well what is flirting and how do I do it and the easiest way to start flirting with a girl is to Simply tease her and when you tease a woman you always want to teaser on something sort of ridiculous something fun something playful this isn't like bullying her or teasing her in a really sarcastic way that maybe you would tease one of your your buddies it's more of a playful way and a lot of times you just look for her to say or do something that gives her the opportunity so maybe if she does something that's a little diva-ish you could say something like wow you're such a diva I love it I can totally see you on Housewives of Beverly Hills like yelling at your nanny so when you do that you're being playful you're throwing in the word you're such a diva I love it right that I love it lets her know that you're not criticizing her right you're being playful but you're also kind of teasing her a little bit you can do this about a variety of characteristics maybe teaser about being gullible if she's talking about studying a lot or or staying you can say something like I bet you spent a lot of time in the library when you were a little kid right you're teasing her about things that are playful that's the nature of it and teasing is really flirtation if you ever want to know if a girl's flirting with you she's teasing you that's how you know it's sort of that code like I said it's the language of Attraction it's the language of you know sort of a code language and the minute you start speaking it you both know what's going on which is why it's so effective so that's the first way to oppress a woman is you flirt with her now the second way that you impress a woman is you let her impress you this is a little counter-intuitive right let her impress you we are most impressed by people that are genuinely impressed by us and that's the key word genuinely impressed we are impressed when we feel like we earned it here's what I mean a lot of guys if they're talking to a woman and she says something like anything right anything that is a positive trait of hers maybe you should go I just got a promotion at work or I just uh I just moved to a new a new apartment and they're immediately going to validate her right they're immediately going to go oh my God that's so cool congratulations on your new job and when you do it that quickly she doesn't feel like she earned it she doesn't feel like she worked to impress you so in essence it's slightly Hollow to her it's a little it has a little less meaning it doesn't really impress her what impresses her is when she feels like oh he gets it right he really gets me so maybe if you're talking to her and she tells you that she spent a year living in Japan what are most guys going to do most guys are going to go oh that's so cool how was it right that's 90 of the guys out there that's what they're gonna say that's so cool how was it on the other hand if you want to let her work a little bit to impress you you use what I call non-judgmental qualification meaning you ask her like sort of challenging but non-judgmental questions you might say oh really what made you choose Japan and then she'll probably give you some sort of half-assed answer well I I always like the culture of Japan and instead of going oh that's cool like most guys would do you go culture yeah I I I'm a little familiar with Japan but you know what exactly about the culture do you like and then she might go well my head has this history and it has this and it has that and you kind of dig a little bit deeper right you appear genuinely curious and then eventually when she's talking about it and you see her getting really excited because that'll that'll be what happens right when we're talking about something we're really passionate about you'll notice her getting really excited and at that point you can say wow that's like really awesome that you were able to go live somewhere that you're this passionate about because most people like never take that risk most people are just like kind of lazy and would never actually do it and the fact that you did is really cool you're totally adventurous I love it right now you've really validated her because you you let her let some of her passion out and then you validated that instead of just invalidating a fact that she gave you so you'll want to always let her work to impress you the more she's trying to impress you the more that your validation matters to her and the more impressed she actually becomes with you because you're recognizing it you're not giving it away so you're not giving your validation away so easily you're letting you're really recognizing what she really has to offer and that's what especially an attractive woman who every guy out there seems to be into she wants to feel like this guy gets me right he's not just into me because I'm a pretty girl he actually is into me he's into my interests and my passions and even though you don't have to fake that I'm into Japan too right a lot of guys might do oh Japan's so cool I love Japan too instead you admire the fact that she likes it you don't have to bond with her and say I like it too you just admire her interest in it right you let her impress you now the third thing that you want to do and is you want to use tests to your advantage what do I mean by that if you watch my other videos you probably heard me talk about how women instinctively test men they do this without even thinking about it where it's sort of their way of deciphering how confident you are how cool you are where you're coming from and a lot of times they do this by making comments to see how you react to them they might say something like if a conversation is going really well a girl might go you know don't get any ideas I'm not going home with you or I'm not hooking up with you tonight I'm not going to kiss you she might say something like that she might call you a player she might tease you a lot of times she might criticize something about you right maybe you're wearing an earring and she might say I don't like why do guys wear earrings I don't like guys wearing earrings like she's doing this subconsciously to judge how you react and there's a Bruce Lee quote that I really love and it's like any weapon that your opponent thrusts at you it's a convenient Target for you to destroy meaning instead of getting nervous when a woman does this actually look at her tests as a way to impress her because the less reactive you are to these things that she says the more your value goes up in her eyes so if a woman says to you I don't like guys that wear hats baseball hats and you say oh cool thanks for the fashion advice like and don't even care you just impressed her because a lot of guys nice guys especially are going to start defending themselves and go oh I like this hat you don't like this hat and they're they're going to get visibly upset that they didn't impress her but when you go when you seem totally unfazed by it it actually boosts your value same thing if she says something like you and I had a girl say this to me where we're talking and we're flirting and and she'll say something you know I'm not gonna I'm not I'm not gonna sleep with you and a lot of guys in that moment they get like a deer in headlights oh my God and I I wasn't I didn't think you were going to sleep with me I was just taught and they start defending themselves and then when you do this it's like part of her brain is like ah like you lose a little bit of Attraction but on the other side of the spectrum if you handle it like of course of course we're not like and you just let it shrug off that's actually impressing her so instead of getting nervous when a woman throws one of these tests at you be like Bruce Lee and look at it as a convenient Target for you to increase her attraction so the next way that you can impress a woman is teach her interesting things you don't need to go overboard on this but kind of having interesting things to tell a woman impresses her and it's really important that you do this with things that are sort of universally interesting meaning if you're really into computer algorithms that might not be interesting to her so what I always say is the most interesting thing to all of us is essentially uh two things right one is our self and we'll get to that in a second but the other is social dynamics psychology interesting things like that so an example and you can find these things anywhere it doesn't require you like learning a ton I was actually just watching a tick tock video before recording this where it was a guy talking about how you can tell if somebody is an introvert or an extrovert by facial features and that introverts have a low a smaller upper lip they have recessed eyes and they have a smaller mouth and it was interesting because I'm I'm an introvert and I'm like oh wow that actually described me so just telling a woman something like that is going to be interesting you're teaching her something interesting another example that I've talked about is I accessing cues right where you can tell things about somebody by where they look when you ask them a question so if you look to your right it signifies that you're going into your memory to retrieve that information so these things are easy for you to learn it doesn't take a long time you can literally Google some stuff you can watch some videos and you can find little tidbits of information to share with her it could be you know another topic that's sort of universally interesting is travel so maybe if you've been somewhere and there was something interesting that happened there you can tell her about a culture that that was something that she wouldn't have expected something that she would find interesting these are things that are impress her my girl actually said that to me once you were talking and she's like I just like when when guys have like interesting things when they know things when they seem worldly right and this is especially true I have a lot of older clients and this is one thing I always tell older clients is that if you're older than a woman and you're going after a younger woman she kind of pre-imagines that you have more experience with the world with her so play into it and have things to tell her and teach her about life and about social dynamics that are interesting to her because it will boost her eval it'll boost your value and it'll impress her now piggybacking off of that last one is demonstrating an authority over her world so demonstrating authority over her world the reason that this impresses a woman is one it makes you seem really intuitive but the other reason is that when you seem to kind of get her and and her her world she assumes that you must have a lot of experience with women pre-selection is very attractive right women are biologically programmed to want to be with the guys that other women want to be with it's I don't know why it's that way it's Evolution millions of years have evolved women where that's one of the ways that they decide if some guy is attractive is do other women find him attractive and when you demonstrate authority over her world like you've been a part of it she naturally assumes oh this guy this guy's been around women he he knows women he understands women and it boosts your value it impresses her so there's few ways to do it one of the ways that you can do it is through something as simple as cold reading and don't get intimidated or kind of roll your eye is that what I'm saying it doesn't have to be like cold reading like palm reading cold reading type of stuff it's just where you notice her and you make statements about it right so maybe she's telling you something and you say something you know you really you really seem like an intuitive person like you just can kind of size people up really quickly I bet that whenever your friends bring a new guy around you automatically can tell if he's a good guy or a bad guy and whenever we give somebody this sort of label so to speak our brain naturally looks for ways to reinforce it what I mean by that is that Robert cialdini talks about it in his book influence where when you said something in somebody's mind they go into their mind and look for things that mean that's true so even if she was wrong about you know 50 of her friends boyfriends she'll go into her mind and go oh yeah that's true I was right about Jenny's boyfriend he was a jerk and I thought he was a jerk and you're immediately gonna get credit in her eyes right that's what's kind of great about cold reading is that when you tell her something about herself she's gonna look to see you're gonna her mind is gonna focus on that and she's going to look for all the things that prove that that's correct so that's a really fun thing to do to demonstrate authority over her world other fun ways to do it is using little personality type games one of my favorites uh Johnson I don't know if he came up with it but but he's you know he's used it is the Strawberry Fields personality test and I'll put a link to it below because I have so many of my my clients actually started using this and it's so fun to do with women it's essentially you're asking her several questions in in the course of a game and then at the end her answers to those questions reveal certain things about her and then you you read that back to her and you tell her things about herself and again whether whether these things are accurate whether they're not accurate it just demonstrates an authority over her world it's interesting to her because listen most guys aren't doing this most guys are talk talking about their job and where do you like to go for fun so when you're adding all these things into the into the conversation you naturally become more attractive to her you naturally start to impress her without seeming like you're trying to impress her if you noticed none of these things involve telling her about your job or how hot your last girlfriend was or all the places you traveled you're really talking more about her almost every example I gave is you talking about her right flirting and teasing her telling her things about herself letting her impress you by digging for more information before you validate her it's all about her because ideally and ultimately she is the most interesting person in the world to herself we all are the most interesting person in the world to me is me the most interesting person in the world to you is you and for any girl she's the most interesting person in the world to her so if you shine that Spotlight on her without smothering her with attention that is really really enjoyable and really really impresses her so if you want that Strawberry Fields personality test I'm going to leave a link below John gives it out for anybody who wants it and if any of these things that I'm saying seem to be counterintuitive to you or you don't quite understand it I have a test of my own where you go through and you answer several questions and then you'll get your results and it pinpoints exactly where you might be messing up mistakes you might be making a lot of guys think they're doing everything right and then they take this test and they realize wow I handled this this and this situation wrong so if you like this video hit like subscribe to my channel and leave me a comment letting me know 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