chapter 29 of Jane a this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org recording by Elizabeth clut Jane air by Charlotte Bronte chapter 29 the recollection of about 3 days and nights succeeding this is very dim in my mind I can recall some Sensations felt in that interval but few thoughts framed and no actions performed I knew I was in a small room and in a narrow bed to that bed I seemed to have grown I lay on it motionless as a stone and have torn me from it would have been almost to kill me I took no note of the lapse of time of the change from morning to noon from noon to evening I observed when anyone entered or left the apartment I could even tell who they were I could understand what was said when the speaker stood near to me but I could not answer to open my lips or move my limbs was equally impossible Hannah the servant was my most frequent visitor her coming Disturbed me I had a feeling that she wished me away that she did not understand me or my circumstances that she was prejudiced against me Diana and Mary appeared in the chamber once or twice a day there would whisper sentences of this sort at my bedside it is very well we took took her in yes she would certainly have been found dead at the door in the morning had she been left out all night I wonder what she has gone through strange hardships I imagine poor emaciated palad wander she's not an uneducated person I should think by her manner of speaking her accent was quite pure and the clothes she took off though splashed and wet were little worn and fine she has a peculiar face fleshless and hagged as it is I rather like it and when in good health and animated I can fancy her physiomesh a syllable of regret at the hospitality they had extended to me or of Suspicion of or aversion to myself I was comforted Mr singen came but once he looked at me and said my state of lethargy was the result of reaction from excessive and protracted fatigue he pronounced it needless to send for a doctor nature he would sure would manage best left to herself he said every nerve had been overstrained in some way and the whole system must sleep torpid a while there was no disease he imagined my recovery would be rapid enough when Once commenced these opinions he delivered in a few words in a quiet low voice and added after a pause in the tone of a man little accustomed to expansive comment rather an unusual physiy certainly not indicative of vulgarity or degradation far otherwise responded Diana to speak truth singen my heart rather warms to the poor little soul I wish we may be able to benefit her permanently that is hardly likely was the reply you will find she is some young lady who has had a misunderstanding with her friends and has probably injudiciously left them we may perhaps succeed in restoring her to them if she is not obstinate but I trace lines of force in her face which make me skeptical of her tractability he stood considering me some minutes then added she looks sensible but not at all handsome she is so ill singen ill or well she would always be plain the grace and Harmony of beauty are quite wanting in those features on the third day I was better on the fourth I could speak move rise in bed and turn Hannah had brought me some GRL and dry toast about as I suppose the dinner hour I had eaten with relish the food was good void of the feverish flavor which had hither to poisoned what I had swallowed when she left me I felt comparatively strong and revived airong satiety of repose and desire for Action stirred me I wished to rise but what could I put on only my damp and bed Apparel in which I had slept on the ground and fallen in the marsh I felt ashamed to appear before my benefactors so clad I I was spared the humiliation on a chair by the bedside were all my own things clean and dry my black silk frock hung against the wall the traces of the bog were removed from it the creases left by the wet smoothed out it was quite decent my very shoes and stockings were purified and rendered presentable there were the means of washing in the room and a comb and brush to smooth my hair after a weary process and resting every 5 minutes I succeed eded in dressing myself my clothes hung loose on me for I was much wasted but I covered deficiencies with a Shaw and once more clean and respectable looking no Speck of the dirt no trace of the disorder I so hated and which seemed so to degrade me left I crept down a stone staircase with the aid of the banisters to a narrow low passage and found my way presently to the kitchen it was full of the fragrance of new bread and the warmth of a generous fire Hannah was baking prejudices it is well known are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education they grow there firm as weeds among Stones Hannah had been cold and stiff indeed at the first latterly she had begun to relent a little and when she saw me come in tidy and welld dressed she even smiled what you have got up she said you were better then you may sit you down down on my chair and the Hearthstone if you will she pointed to the rocking chair I took it she bustled about examining me every now and then with the corner of her eye turning to me as she took some loaves from the oven she asked bluntly did you ever go a begging before you came here I was indignant for a moment but remembering that anger was out of the question and that I had indeed appeared as a beggar to her I answered quietly but still not without a certain marked firmness you are mistaken in supposing me a beggar I am no beggar any more than yourself or your young ladies after a pause she said I don't not understand that you've like no house nor no brass I guess the want of house or brass by which I suppose you mean money does not make a beggar in your sense of the word are you book learned she inquired presently yes very but you've never been to a boarding school I was at a boarding school 8 years she opened her eyes wide whatever cannot you keep yourself for then I have kept myself and I trust shall keep myself again what are you going to do with these gooseberries I inquired as she brought out the basket of the fruit Mech to pies give them to me and I'll pick them nay I don't want you to do not but I must do something let me have them she consented and she even brought me a clean towel to spread over my dress lest as she said I should mcky it you've not been used to servants work I see by your hands she remarked happen you've been a dress maker no you are wrong and now never mind what I have been don't trouble your head further about me but tell me the name of the house where we are some calls it Marsh end and some calls it moous and the gentleman who lives here is called Mr singen nay he doesn't live here he's only staying a while when he is at home he's in his own Parish at Morton that Village a few miles off I and what is he he is a Parson I remembered the answer of the old housekeeper at the parsonage when I had asked to see the clergyman this then was his father's residence I old Mr Rivers lived here and his father and his grandfather and great-grandfather of forum the name then of that gentleman is Mr singen Rivers I singen is like his Kirsten name and his sisters are called Diana and Mary Rivers yes their father is dead dead 3 weeks sin of a stroke they have no mother the mistress has been dead this money a year here have you lived with the family long I've lived here 30 years I nursed them all three that proves you must have been an honest and faithful servant I will say so much for you though you have had the incivility to call me a beggar she again regarded me with a surprised stare I believe she said I was quite main of my thoughts are you but there is so many cheats goes about you man forgive me and though I continued rather severely you wished to turn me from the door on a night when you should not have shut out a dog well it was hard but what can a body do I thought more of the children nor myself poor things they've lik nobody to take care of them but me I'm like to look sharpish I maintained grave silence for some minutes you wouldn't think too hardly of me she again remarked but I do think hardly of you I said and I'll tell you why not so much because you refused to give me shelter or regarded me as an impostor as because you just now made it a species of reproach that I had no brass and no house some of the best people that ever lived have been as destitute as I am and if you are a Christian you ought not to consider poverty a crime no more I ought said she Mr singen tells me so too and I see I were wrong but I have a clear different notion on you now to what I had you look a r down decent little crater that will do I forgive you now shake hands she put her flowery and horny hand into mine another and heartier smile illumined her rough face and from that moment we were friends Hannah was evidently fond of talking while I picked the fruit and she made the paste for the pies she proceeded to give me Sury details about her deceased master and mistress and the children as she called the young people old Mr River she said was a plain enough man but a gentleman and of as ancient a family as could be found Marsh and had belonged to the rivers ever since it was a house and it was she affirmed a bone 200 year old for all it looked but a small humble place not to compare with Mr Oliver's grand hall down in Morton Vale but she could remember Bill Oliver's father a journeyman needl maker and the rivers were Gentry the old days of the Henry's as anybody might see by looking to the registers of Morton Church ve still she allowed the old maester was like other folk not Mick of the common way Stark matter shooting and farming and such like the mistress was different she was a great reader and studied deal and the BS had taken after her there was nothing like them in these parts nor never had been they had liked learning all three almost from the time they could speak and they had always been of a makeer their own Mr singen when he grew up would go to college and be a Parson and the girls as soon as they left school would seek places as governesses for they had told her their father had some years ago lost a great deal of money by a man he had trusted turning bankrupt and as he was now not rich enough to give them fortunes they must provide for themselves they had lived very little at home for a long while and were only come now to stay a few weeks on account of their father's death but they did so like Marsh end and Morton and all these Moors and Hills about they had been in London and many other Grand towns but they always said there was no place like home and then they were so agreeable with each other never fell out nor thed she did not know where there was such a family for being united having finished my task of Goosey picking I asked where the two ladies and their brother were now gone over to Morton for a walk but they would be back in half an hour to tea they returned within the time Hannah had a lotted them they entered by the kitchen door Mr singen when he saw me merely bowed and passed through the two ladies stopped Mary in a few words kindly and calmly expressed the pleasure she felt in seeing me well enough to be able to come down Diana took my hand she shook her head at me you should have waited for my leave to descend she said you still look very pale and so thin poor child poor girl Diana had a voice toned to my ear like the cing of a dove she possessed eyes whose gaze I delighted to encounter her whole face seemed to me full of charm Mary's countenance was equally intelligent her features equally pretty but her expression was more reserved and her manners though gentle more distant Diana looked and spoke with a certain Authority she had a will evidently it was my nature to feel pleasure in yielding to an authority supported like hers and to bend where my conscience and self-respect permitted to an active will and what business have you here she continued it is not your place Mary and I sit in the kitchen sometimes because at home we like to be free even to license but you are a visitor and must go into the Parlor I am very well here not at all with Hannah bustling about and covering you with flour besides the fire is too hot for you interposed Mary to be sure added her sister come you must be obedient and still holding my hand she made me rise and led me into the Inner Room sit there she said placing me on the sofa while we take our things off and get the tea ready it is another privilege we exercise in our little morand home to prepare our own meals when we are so inclined or when Hannah is baking Brewing washing or ironing she closed the door leaving me soless of Mr singen who sat opposite a book or newspaper in his hand I examined first The Parlor and then its occupant The Parlor was rather a small room very plainly furnished yet comfortable because clean and neat the oldfashioned chairs were very bright and the walnut wood table was like a Looking Glass a few strange antique portraits of the men and women of other days decorated the stained walls a cupboard with glass door contained some books and an ancient set of china there was no Superfluous ornament in the room not one modern piece of furniture save a brace of work boxes and a lady's desk in Rosewood which stood on a side table everything including the carpet and curtains looked at once well worn and well saved Mr singen sitting as still as one of the dusty pictures on the walls keeping his eyes fixed on the page he perused and his lips mutely sealed was easy enough to examine had he been a statue instead of a man he could not have been any easier he was young perhaps from 28 to 30 tall slender his face riveted the eye it was like a Greek face very pure and outline quite a straight classic nose quite an Athenian mouth and Chin it is seldom indeed an English face come so near the antique models as did his he might well be a little shocked at the irregularity of smileing hum his own being so harmonious his eyes were large and blue with brown lashes his high forehead colorless as Ivory was partially Streed over by careless locks of fair hair this is a gentle delineation is it not reader yet he whom it describes scarcely impressed one with the idea of a gentle a yielding an impressible or even of a Placid nature quiescent as he now sat there was something about his nostril his mouth his brow which to my perceptions indicated elements within either Restless or hard or eager he did not speak to me one word nor even direct to me one glance till his sisters returned Diana as she passed in and out in the course of preparing tea brought me a little cake baked on the top of the oven eat that now she said you must be hungry Hannah says you have had nothing but some GRL since breakfast I did not refuse it for my appetite was awakened and Keen Mr Rivers now closed his book approached the table and as he took a seat fixed his blue pictorial looking eyes full on me there was an unceremonious directness a searching decided steadfastness in his gaze now which told that intention and not diffidence had hither to kept it averted from the stranger you are very hungry he said I am sir it is my way it always always was my way by Instinct ever to meet the brief with brevity the direct with plainness it is well for you that a low fever has forced you to abstain for the last 3 days there would have been danger in yielding to the Cravings of your appetite at first now you may eat though still not immoderately I trust I shall not eat long at your expense sir was my very clumsily contrived unpolished answer no he said cooly when you have indicated to us the residence of your friends we can write to them and you may be restored to home that I must plainly tell you is out of my power to do being absolutely without home and friends the three looked at me but not distrustfully I felt there was no suspicion in their glances there was more of curiosity I speak particularly of the young ladies singin's eyes though clear enough in a literal sense in a figurative one were difficult to Fathom he seemed to use them rather as instruments to search other people's thoughts than as agents to reveal his own the which combination of keenness and Reserve was considerably more calculated to embarrass than to encourage do you mean to say he asked that you are completely isolated from every connection I do not a tie links me to any living thing not a claim do I possess to admittance under any roof in England a most singular position at your age here I saw his glance directed to my hands which were folded on the table before me I wondered what he sought there his words soon explained the quest you have never been married you are a spinster Diana laughed why she can't be above 17 or 18 years old singen said she I am near 19 but I am not married no I felt a burning glow Mount to my face for bitter and agitating Recollections were awakened by the illusion to marriage they all saw the embarrassment and the emotion Diana and Mary relieved Me by turning their eyes elsewhere than to my Crimson Visage but the colder and Sterner brother continued to gaze till the trouble he had excited forced out tears as well as color where did you last reside he now asked you are too inquisitive singen murmured Mary in a low voice but he leaned over the table and required an answer by a second firm and piercing look the name of the place where and of the person with whom I lived is my secret I replied concisely which if you like you have in my opinion a right to keep both from singen and from every other questioner remarked Diana yet if I know nothing about you or your history I cannot help you he said said and you need help do you not I need it and I seek it so far sir that some true philanthropist will put me in the way of getting work which I can do and the remuneration for which will keep me if but in the beest necessities of life I know not whether I am a true philanthropist yet I am willing to Aid you to the utmost of my power in a purpose so honest first then tell me what you have been accustomed to do and what you can do I had now swallowed my tea I was mightily refreshed by the beverage as much so as a giant with wine it gave new tone my unstrung nerves and enabled me to address this penetrating young judge steadily Mr Rivers I said turning to him and looking at him as he looked at me openly and without diffidence you and your sisters have done me a great service the greatest man can do his fellow being you have rescued me by your Noble hospitality from Death this benefit conferred gives you an unlimited claim on my gratitude and a claim to a certain extent on my confidence I will tell you as much of the history of The Wanderer you have harbored as I can tell without compromising my own peace of mind my own security moral and physical and that of others I am an orphan the daughter of a clergyman my parents died before I could know them I was brought up a dependent educated in a charitable inst institution I will even tell you the name of the establishment where I passed six years as a pupil and two as a teacher lowwood orphan Asylum blankshire you will have heard of it Mr Rivers the Reverend Robert brocklehurst as the treasurer I have heard of Mr Brookhurst and I have seen the school I left lowwood nearly a year since to become a private Governor I obtained a good situation and was happy this place I was obliged to leave 4 days before I came here the reason of my departure I cannot and ought not to explain it would be useless dangerous and would sound incredible no blame attached to me I am as free from culpability as anyone of you three miserable I am and must be for a time for the catastrophe which drove me from a house I had found a paradise was of a strange and direful nature I observed but two points in planning my departure speed secrecy to secure these I had to leave behind me everything I possessed except a small parcel which in my hurry and trouble of mind I forgot to take out of the coach that brought me to witc Cross to this neighborhood then I came quite destitute I slept two nights in the open air and wandered about 2 days without crossing a threshold but twice in that space of time did I taste food and it was when brought by hunger exhaustion and despair almost to the last gasp that you Mr Rivers forbad me to perish of want at your door and took me under the shelter of your roof I know all your sisters have done for me since for I have not been insensible during my seeming torper and I owe to their spontaneous genuine genial compassion as large a debt as to your Evangelical charity don't make her talk anymore now singen said Diana as I paused she is evidently not yet fit for excitement come to the sofa and sit down now Miss Elliot I gave an involuntary half start at hearing the Alias I had forgotten my new name Mr Rivers whom nothing seemed to escape noticed it at once you said your name was Jane Elliott he observed I did say so and it is the name by which I think it expedient to be called at present but it is not my real name and when I hear it it sounds strange to me your real name you will not give no I fear discovery above all things and whatever disclosure would lead to it I avoid you are quite right I am sure said Diana now do brother let her be at peace a while but when singen had mused a few moments he recomened as imperturbably and with as much Acumen as ever you would not like to be long dependent on our Hospitality you would wish I see to dispense as soon as may be with my sister's compassion and above all with my charity I am quite sensible of Distinction drawn nor do I resent it it is just you desire to be independent of us I do I have already said so show me how to work or how to seek work that is all I now ask then let me go if to be but to the meanest Cottage but till then allow me to stay here I Dre another essay of the horrors of homeless destitution indeed you shall stay here said Diana putting her white hand on my head you shall repeated Mary in the tone of undemonstrative sincerity which seemed natural to her my sisters you see have a pleasure in keeping you said Mr singen as they would have a pleasure in keeping and cherishing a half Frozen bird some wintry wind might have driven through their casement I feel more inclination to put you in the way of keeping yourself and shall Endeavor to do so but observe my sphere is narrow I am but the incumbent of a poor County Parish my Aid must be of the humblest sort and if you are inclined to despise the day of small things seek some more efficient sucker than such as I can offer she's already said that she's willing to do anything honest she can do answered Diana for me and you know singen she has no choice of helpers she's forced to put up with such crusty people as you I will be a dress maker I will be a plain workwoman I will be a servant a nurse girl if I can be no better I answered Right Said Mr singen quite cooly if such is your spirit I promise to Aid you in my own time and way he now resumed the book with which she had been occupied before tea I soon withdrew for I had talked as much and sat up as long as my present strength would permit end of chapter 29