I am hopping on because I love when I have a series of clients in a row that we're talking about the same theme and so the theme for today is it just feels like what I'm dealing with is so much harder than what anybody else deals with and so be that anxiety and feeling like um the anxiety that I'm experiencing is way worse in the people who are maybe posting about their anxiety and holding it with lightness or my family dynamic so much more complicated and hard than anybody else's family everybody else has this normal family why is mine so hard or so weird or um you know I I'm making these choices for myself but it feels like there's so much sacrifice involved in that and why me why do I have to be the one to walk this path why does this have to be my healing path I'd rather walk your path and so I want to jump in because first of all I'm curious do you feel this way is this coming up for you are you feeling like your path is a oneway constant trudge up Mount Everest with flip-flops and a sun hat and you don't have what you need it seems like it's ongoing and it feels like you just keep slipping back down and when you look around do you feel like other people have it easier than you so I want to break this down a little bit because there's a couple of things that are happening here one and I think the thing that's the most slippery and maybe the most important Point here is that this is what I call the ego back door and what I mean by that is when we step into a place of healing and health and vitality and we make a commitment to ourselves or a conscious choice to choose a due path to choose something that is lighter that is a higher vibration that breaks with our conditioning and our old ways it is very common if not very predictable for the ego which is what I and what I mean by the ego I don't mean bravado or bragging or conceit I mean ego like all the structures and paradigms of the mind that we get stuck in and the ego is what we would identify as our personality it's the thing that creates all the thoughts and the planning and the judgments and the criticisms and and it's a very very complex structure that's actually been put into place probably from a very young age in order to protect us um there's this perception that these judgments and criticisms Will Keep Us Safe And so we'll we can go into that in another one but I just want to clarify that that's what I mean when I say ego and what is important or you know really important here is that when we start choosing to break with these old beliefs and we choose to shift out of patterns that we've been conditioned into it signals the dying or the death of the ego of the old ways of these like I to think of of like um what do you call it scaffolding um you know it's just like all this scaffolding that's been put over our Essence been put over our light been put over our brightness and um really filtering our perspective and our perception of how the world sees us and how we are seeing by the world and that's what I would call the personality and so what happens when this ego starts to perceive that you're choosing something else is that it's like oh my God I'm dying I have to throw everything at it so I'm going to intensify the symptoms I'm going to throw doubt I'm going to seriously start criticizing you I'm going to bring in the stories that other people are going to judge you or reject you or that that this Choice makes you less lovable or that if PE other people saw this choice in you that they would no longer like I just can't even be with this person and the reality of it is is because we have spent so much of our time trying to hide or protect sound like we don't have the spectrum of our thoughts fears feelings experiences emotions and when we start to become vulnerable with a capital V as opposed to a little v um we start to step into our power and we start to own all of who we are and not hide in shame and so the ego is like no no no no don't do that nobody's going to love you if you tell them this because I don't love you because you carry this and that's where this idea of self-healing comes from and then but what's happening with this idea of being on your path is that you're on your path you're doing your thing and the ego comes in makes you super wrong for it so that you stay connected and you stay beholden to the old ways and that keeps you safer at least that that is a paradigm that's familiar that's something that's comfortable to you um whereas when we step out of these paradigms and these conditionings that we've been brought up with um you know In Our Lifetime but probably for Generations you know there's a definitely a huge Collective Consciousness and there is a huge lineage that comes down both sides of our family lines that we carry with us that's imprinted and that's what we talk about when we talk about epigenetics and um so these things are very much alive within us and as we start to step out of them the ego is like no no no no I'm going to die if you step into this and there's no markers there's no signposts we don't know what's going to happen if you make these choices so um I'm going to protect you I'm going to jump in I'm going to stop you from going ahead and choosing this and I'm going to pull you back and keep you where it's safe and where it's familiar and so what I would invite you to do is just start to acknowledge and identify oh I see what's happening here and when we see what's happening here we could hold it with a little more lightness oh I see what you're up to I get what you're doing over there and we don't have to hammer ourselves or make ourselves wrong or squash the ego we we can just call it out and say hey I see you I acknowledge you and I feel what you're trying to do for me and so we can show up in genuine appreciation like thank you thank you thank you for trying to keep me safe here I'm going to embrace you and welcome you into my heart and let you know that that's actually not how we're going to do things anymore and your reality and and how things are happening for you can change in an instant because all of a sudden as soon as you Embrace that critical part that judgy part that fearful part now all of a sudden they don't have all the power because you're now consciously choosing hang on a second I see what's happening here I see the old ways I see what I'm choosing and we can come back to this Simplicity of there's one choice here does this create more of what I want or does this create more of what I'm walking away from and the things become very very simple does this Choice nourish me on a soul level or does does it deplete me does it um when I choose this Choice do I feel really good do I feel vital and alive and full of energy or do I feel heavy and sluggish and fatigued and so all of a sudden it's like what are you really choosing here and it's simple it becomes simple but I wanted to bring this to you because I want to know where is the ego catching you in the back door and the more we clear these layers within ourselves the more subtle these like this this ego um strategy becomes and so it gets it can get a little harder and harder to detect but we can hold it with lightness we can play with it hey we don't have to be so serious about it and we can just call it for what it is let hey I know that you're here you're welcome in my heart in my home and that doesn't mean that I'm going to have to listen to your advice it just means that you're welcome here there's a space for you here and from my aligned sovereign essence you know the True Light of who I am this is what I choose now so thank you for your help and your protection and I don't there's not I'm not in danger I don't need that protection and I don't need that sort of um um kind of swaddling anymore does that make sense and the ego will be sad because it likes to be the helper and have a role and have a job and have a place but that's okay you know we can still we can tend to that grief too of letting go of the old ways so let me know where are you getting snagged up where do you feel like your path is harder where does it feel difficult to maintain that devotion or that connection to your knowing and what is what's pulling you out and how can you start to recognize it with even more conscious awareness thank you so much for joining me today and I look forward to connecting with you again soon bye