Overview
This lecture explores universal nonverbal body language cues in dating and attraction, focusing on behaviors, facial expressions, spatial dynamics, and physiological effects.
Grooming and Attraction
- Increased grooming (clothing, hair) signals interest in someone.
- Both men and women subconsciously improve their appearance around those they are attracted to.
Visual Orbit and Proximity
- Interested individuals maintain visual proximity and often align their movements to remain near each other.
- Timing of accidental meetings may be subconsciously synchronized.
Facial Expressions and Reward Behaviors
- Faces tend to relax in the presence of someone we like, showing comfort.
- Smiles and relaxation indicate “reward behaviors,” similar to positive feedback between a mother and child.
Eye Contact and Pupil Dilation
- Initial eye contact is often brief and indirect to avoid discomfort.
- Pupil dilation occurs near someone we are attracted to, making us appear more appealing.
Mirroring and Synchrony
- Mirroring body language (smiling, posture, gestures) indicates comfort and attraction.
- Synchrony in movements and actions (“synchrony is harmony”) reflects liking and rapport.
- Lack of mirroring may signal discomfort or lack of interest.
Spatial Zones and Intimacy
- Moving from public to intimate distance (within 3 feet) shows increased trust and attraction.
- Entering intimate zones often causes nervousness due to mixed instincts of approach and caution.
Physical and Chemical Reactions
- Heart rate and temperature can increase; redness and fuller lips can occur due to increased blood flow.
- Natural scent (pheromones) is often preferred over perfumes in attraction.
Touch and Object Interaction
- Accidental touching of hands or objects often occurs and can be a signal of growing intimacy.
- Touching releases chemicals like oxytocin that promote comfort.
Neuroanatomy of Attraction
- The vagus nerve connects the brain to the heart and gut, explaining “butterflies in the stomach.”
- Physical reactions (elevated heart rate, queasy stomach) are normal during attraction due to the polyvagal complex.
Additional Nonverbal Signals
- Flushing, playful teasing, increased blink rate, and hair touching are common.
- Head tilting (exposing the neck) signals trust and comfort.
- Lowered voice and more intimate speech occur at close distances.
Key Terms & Definitions
- Mirroring — Copying another person’s posture, expressions, or gestures as a sign of rapport.
- Pupil Dilation — Widening of the pupils, often unconsciously, due to attraction.
- Pheromones — Chemical signals produced by the body that can affect attraction.
- Intimate Distance — Physical space within 3 feet, reserved for trusted individuals.
- Vagus Nerve — The largest nerve connecting the brain to heart, lungs, and gut, involved in emotional responses.
- Polyvagal Complex — The network of nerves mediating physiological reactions to emotional states.
Action Items / Next Steps
- Observe nonverbal behaviors in social settings to identify cues of attraction and rapport.
- Review spatial zones and the importance of mirroring for building comfort.