hi everyone welcome back to another podcast episode my name is Alicia Gogan the host of The Globe Secrets podcast where I help you expand your mind and become more self-aware so that you can glow up into the best version of yourself okay guys I am so excited to talk about spring like to the point where this whole episode's just going to be about spring but in particular we do have a few q and A's to get through um I want to talk about body confidence because I feel like naturally when we move into the spring and summer time what comes up we think about our bodies we think about the way that we look and you guys had some questions and you wanted some advice so we're going to talk about that uh you guys asked me a lot on Instagram of my summer plans and The Vibes for the spring summer you also talked about fomo and saving money throughout the summer when everyone wants to do a million things so we're going to talk about that and a few updates on what's been going on okay so this weekend I have been doing a vlog or where I've been vlogging my activities for the whole weekend and I really want to do a summer in the city series I've seen her name is Danielle Carolyn she's a New York City vlogger I feel like some of you guys might know her some of you might not I remember her doing some sort of summer in the cities series last I don't know if it was last summer or the summer before when she moved to New York because she wanted to do like a bunch of things and just like live her life and I feel like that's me but in Toronto so I think that I'm going to do some sort of Vlog series well I am because I've already started it and just I don't know Vlog you know all of the things that I do all of the lessons that I'm learning all the challenges that I'm putting myself through all the realizations and the wisdom because you guys know I'm all about that so I'm really excited to start that on my main Channel um we'll see obviously I even said in the video like we're gonna see if it works for me as a Creator and we're also going to see if it works for you you guys because you know I understand that sometimes when you just Vlog your daily life it's kind of boring but I feel like I want to give you guys as much value as possible and if there's cool things that I can show you and realizations that I'm coming to and I can talk to you guys about that then I would love to do that so we'll see I don't know if it's going to be like every single weekend because not every weekend I do something especially when I'm on my period like hello girly we are keeping it calm I also feel like during the week I don't really know if I'd be like a week uh during the week vlogger just because I do kind of the same things and I kind of want to keep low during the week like waking up writing going to the gym eating kind of the same types of foods like nothing too crazy and then of course recording my podcast doing lots of editing uh recording YouTube videos all that kind of stuff so we'll see we'll just add some Flair into the content and we'll see how you guys like it let me know any thoughts I also asked you guys on Instagram if you guys wanted that and a lot of you guys said you did so we'll see also I did my photo shoot for the podcast and guys I think you're really gonna love the photos I don't know when I'm getting them all they should be soon and I had a few different outfits and a few different Vibes I don't want to give too much away and I need to also once I get the photos back I need to then do some editing to like actually have the text on the photo for the podcast art and all that kind of stuff so we'll see but I am so excited to Rebrand and to show you guys I feel like this photo shoot was really big for me it wasn't just the fact that I got a photo shoot done for the podcast um to make it look more professional and more great it's just this is really a reflection of me becoming the most authentic version of myself and glowing up into the best version myself like I am the most glued up version of myself in these photos and that is the type of feeling and vibe that my photographer and I wanted to go for so that when somebody sees this podcast art they know what they're getting and they feel like welcomed to this podcast and they feel like they can see themselves in me in any way not just the fact that like the way that I look but I guess you'll see when you actually see the photos and like how I look but oh my gosh I'm so excited and I also wore my natural hair which is really big for me I like fully fully fully fully love embracing my hair now and it's been such a long journey for me I've said this in multiple videos before on my YouTube but you know growing up around people who didn't have the same hair texture type as me and like just not being in that nurturing environment my mom did as best as she could she's a white girly we love her but um you know she didn't come from a home where she learned how to deal with really you know curly curly hair and also there just wasn't that many moms around as well that knew how to deal with like black hair and so growing up I just didn't love my hair I wanted to look like everyone else and I did that and I tried that and it just I like I've said many times I ruined my hair I hated my hair um so it's been a very long journey and I'm sure any of you who are like mixed or black you guys know that journey and it's so nice to now be in that category of like it is I fully embrace my hair and I love my hair and um I just think about when I have children how that will not even be a reality for them to look at their hair like it's anything but amazing and it's just crazy how this honestly Society has been evolving if you just think about it I'm sure any of you guys who are like around my age I'm 27 years old you know when we grew up there was not a lot of people who had the same hair as US unless you lived in like that Community like a black community or you know everyone kind of looked like you that's still but even even then I feel like you know we were taught to perm our hair and to hate our hair and to not you know just to manipulate it like crazy and I I just see like the younger generation uh growing up and when they all have curly hair they're all just like embracing it and it's like so normal to love your hair and I think that's so beautiful and I just think about when I have children how that's just like good that's going to be the reality to look at their hair and be like this is this is beautiful and amazing also not to bag on anyone who doesn't have curly hair because y'all got good hair too like everyone has great hair okay but anyways I digress I say that to say this photo shoot meant of a lot to me and it was literally the most perfect seamless process ever and it was so much deeper than just getting a photo taken of me professionally for a podcast okay so let's get into the Q a and let's talk about summer let's get excited for spring well we're in Spring but spring summer Vibes I am living you guys you guys are also living I know you guys are living for this weather wherever you're at I'm assuming well unless you're like in Australia or somewhere where it would be switched I think or you kind of just live somewhere where it's already warm like God bless your soul um but for the majority of us we are waking up out of our Slumbers and the sun is out and literally you know what I just thought about the other day it's like I don't even need coffee when the sun is out because that is all I need to just get my ass up and just enjoy life I swear it is such it's like literally day and night to be in warm weather and the sun being out like it's just crazy and I'm so here for it and I'm going to capitalize on everything like I always do usually in the summer when it comes to just like spending time outside and the fresh air and the Sun and I'm so happy that we are gonna have like six months of this now and this is the time for us to really really Thrive and I hope you guys are in that same energy I know winter can be very difficult and there's so many things that we've all been through this past year and I just want to commend you guys and just be like hi we're here we are here we made it we went through whatever we went through and let's let's get excited for the spring for the summer let's feel amazing let's enjoy life because that is really what we are here to do is having a conversation with one of my friends yesterday and she had all these goals to you know have this career of her dreams and you know she's really just focused on all these goals and of course we are human beings we want that in our lives but I told her because I've been through this constantly I've always been on a self-improvement journey healing always had goals always in survival mode always always going going and I said listen something that I've really learned over the past few years which is totally not me is like I you need to live in the present moment you need to be here and be okay with the process and being okay with the in-between and not being where you want to be yet and I even said to her once you stop resisting everything and like wanting something so bad and telling yourself you must have this end goal this body this amount of money the career before you feel happy with your life you will start to realize that everything in the in-between you living in the present moment the people that you meet when you stop getting in your head and you start living in the present moment and you start going out and living your life and not holding back you will realize all these people these places these experiences these things are what is actually going to get you to that goal a lot quicker and it's crazy it's like we again we focus on the goal we want the body we want the money we want something so so much and we're so attached to that and the process feels so long it feels hard it feels like it's never ending we feel like we're not living and if we just release that resistance and detach we will realize all the things in the in between or what's actually going to get us what we really really want let's say for instance you want a really cool job opportunity and you are so fixated on getting this and like you have this certain path and you have to take this course and you have to go here at this time and you got to do interviews all these things of course that might be your process in what you need to do and sometimes we get so tied up on that to the point where we don't actually live in the moment and we let's say don't go to that one event that we got invited to by a friend who's in an industry we feel like it's not really going to get us anywhere so we just don't go or you know we don't go out for a walk we don't go to a coffee shop to work we just don't do anything because we're so focused on that outcome which is great in some some aspects but the thing is sometimes when you go out to that event or you go out for a walk and you see somebody and you have a connection and you talk that person actually could be your answer to the job that you wanted or to the opportunity the connection that you needed that would get you there a lot faster if you actually were in the present moment and you lived your life so I just want to remind you that and that's something that I've been heavily challenged myself when it comes to living is to live here now in the present moment stop being in your head so much stop holding off on live stop not living life because you don't have something trust that it's going to come detach from the outcome and yeah anyways let's get into it alright so a lot of you guys asked what my summer plans are so I wrote a few out I'm not gonna like well I'll probably talk for a long time and you got you guys know this but I wrote like uh plans that I have I think when I looked at plans I thought of goals as well so they're kind of like interchangeable I guess so I did some for myself um projects and things that I'm going to be working on and then like actual plans and things that I want to do so my main plan AKA goal for myself this summer is honestly to challenge myself I know there's certain things that I stay comfortable in certain behaviors that I do certain personas that I have certain things that I do in my life that keep me safe and I know at this point in my life that those are the things that I need to challenge and those are the things I need to step out of if I want the life that I say that I want and that is the mo that is the most challenging thing that we all have to come to and a lot of people don't ever do it it is too uncomfortable sometimes we don't have the tools to be able to actually go through uncomfortable things which obviously I've done a lot of work on myself to be able to you know stand up and be like I can challenge myself I can push myself I can you know take off the mask I can be myself authentically I can really like say what I want and go for exactly what I want have confidence Within Myself and it takes a little bit to get there but I'm at a point where that's what I want to do so anytime and I'm this is the thing I am so self-aware of myself like I'm very aware of when I'm going back into Old behaviors old patterns um you know thinking a certain way putting on a mask because I'm scared for people to see me things of that nature and I'm very aware of when I'm doing that and what I want to challenge myself in those times is to step out of that comfort zone let me give you a quick example when it comes to uh guys because I feel like a lot of girls will have this uh it can relate to this so when you're talking to somebody and you really like them especially if they're kind of new you want to put your best foot forward you want to look amazing you want to look cute all the time you want to say the right things you want to just be amazing your amazing self that you are but you just want to be great and the thing is is you don't always actually need to be picture perfect you don't always have to look amazing you don't always have to speak amazing you can mess up your words you can be messy you can do all these things but we're so scared to do that so let's say I'm afraid to do that but on the flip side my goal is to have a deep meaningful relationship with someone a deep meaningful loving connected relationship with someone well that is going to require me to take off my mask that is going to require me to let myself be messy and somebody see me and and for that person to actually obviously accept me and love me and there's obviously going to be people who like maybe that you're not their cup of tea and whatever but at the end of the day a healthy relationship is not perfect a healthy relationship a really deep bond with someone is that person that sees you in all of your glory all your UPS all your Downs all your everything so there's going to be days where you don't look perfect there's going to be days where you don't say the right things and every time you be your authentic self that is really a chance for you to actually go deeper with someone and you're not going to be able to really go that deep with someone if you don't do that if you don't become yourself you don't let yourself be yourself and also what I found especially for the girls is you know the right guy obviously not every man like this but the men who are really looking for that that one they want to see you they want to see the real you your core your authentic version of yourself the one that is not always putting on a front the one that is not always picture perfect and pretty and and just everything like that and that's what I'm looking for as well but it's like how I'm saying I want all these things I'm saying I want authentic relationship I want a deep connection I want deep this and that okay well you cannot have that if you have all of these blocks these walls these masks on you and so it's gonna be different for everyone sometimes it's more of a body image thing sometimes it's just our mindset sometimes it's whatever we hit we are insecure about but in those times where let's say you're talking to somebody and you feel like you're gonna put on that mask again that's where I would I would be could become very aware and be like Alicia you're about to put a mask on because you usually do and it's comfortable but you are safe to take off this mask and maybe there is a risk there always is a risk to taking off your mask right but I would much rather take off my mask at this point and be myself and hopefully that person likes me if they don't they don't then to continue to have this mask on because I am sick and tired of that and that is not what's going to get me what I really want and the end goal is a deep loving connection and you know I see all the little wounds that I have all the things that I've you know put in my shop Auto and those are the things that I'm trying to reintegrate this year because again I think that life when we really can see it for what it is it's really meant for you to see all those wounds heal them and express yourself and be yourself we are so especially as women we're so oh my gosh we're so programmed we have so many masks we have so many Shadows we have so much shame we have guilt we are scared we are nervous we're everything and it's just like I don't want to be that I don't want to be that anymore and I know that that's not going to get me healthy relationships even outside of romantic relationships like friendships as well it's like we want these girlfriends Sisterhood we want all these things but we won't we're not willing to take a risk and I told my friend this the other day even when it comes with it comes to love I told her I said there's always there's always going to be a risk when it comes to love there is going to be a risk that your heart is going to get hurt you know and I I don't set myself up for thinking that like oh I'm gonna get hurt no I don't do that do that but I have in the back of my head like you know what there's always going to be a rest but I don't care because what I want is I want love I want something deep I want something meaningful I want a meaningful life and that is going to require me to get uncomfortable it's like we want to have a amazing relationship amazing career all the money time Freedom we want it all but the way that we want to get it is to stay comfortable is to stay in our shell is to keep the mask on and that's not that is literally not how it works so my goal for myself is to become aware of when I am putting any sort of mask on in any situation I'm not going to be perfect I don't always do it uh but when I do to take it off and tell myself in that moment Alicia you're about to put this mask on this is why you feel like you need to put this mask on but you don't need to do it it's gonna get in the way of you deeply connecting to someone or getting something that you want in your life and I remind myself of that anytime that I see myself doing that and it's profound it's actually very healing and I've done that in relationships before I've done that in any just life before and honestly nine times out of ten when you do that it's like it's like you Quantum Leap you show yourself that it's possible to take off that mask and somebody still love you somebody still accept you or you you get that opportunity or you know you don't get rejected so yeah that's my self-goal that was a long rant but yeah it's just being seen I want to allow people to see me and I don't want to be perfect and I want to challenge myself okay projects that I'm going to be working on this summer The main thing is my book I need to really get that done hopefully I don't know whatever we're getting it done the the deadline I think is June I believe it's June I'm gonna get done before June anyways but um I'm really excited for that as well another thing I definitely want to work with some more cool Brands you know what I'm not gonna say too much again for my photo shoot but all I gotta say is I really feel like I should model for garage okay I literally buy so many of their tops and some of the uh photos that I took at the photo shoot which I don't know which one I'm using um I was wearing like garage shirts and I just the the way that I had the shoe it literally looked like I was modeling for garage and it's funny because my agency they'll ask me like what is your dream brand to work with and I don't really have many because obviously like you I don't know if you guys see influencers who work with big Brands like benefit and like all these cool Brands like that's amazing cool but I don't really have that in my head mainly because my biggest goal with working with Brands is to have a collaboration that makes sense for my audience and makes sense for my content and makes sense for me as a Creator like something that I really use something that I really back something that just makes perfect sense or something to bring to you guys that is Affordable or even if it's like expensive I don't know depending on the brand right or sometimes it's not even a product but whatever it is it makes sense for you guys and it's really good and I obviously like that is my main goal I don't want to just work with a brand just because like oh they're like a huge brand like okay uh like Adidas like I want to work with Adidas just because they're Adidas like if it makes sense for my brand to work with Adidas and amazing then that would be my dream brand but if it doesn't if I never wear Adidas or I never use it or like I never whatever then it just yeah so anyways I was just thinking from that photo shoot that'd be so amazing to work with garage because I love their clothes like listen I know some of their clothes are basically like gen Z like younger crowds but I feel like with my body type the type of shirts that I wear they're they're smaller they're like little cutesy whatever and I find that I I just really like their clothes especially their top so that would be cool if I could work with them but in general I would love to work with more Brands and just do more brand work because it's just it's honestly so fun to be able to work with a brand and create content for them post content for them I'm not even going to cap obviously money is a big part of why people work with Brands like obviously and um I have financial goals this summer this year ever like always I feel like we all do and um I'm trying to save my money baby well save it but also invest it so that's definitely a thing what else did I rate oh create more interactive YouTube videos which I already told you guys like the Vlog series I would like that's gonna be so fun I think just to document my life as well in a way that is helpful hopefully also furnish my place I okay I'm really manifesting having my couch get here sooner than later but they told me it's gonna come the third week of April and then two days later she said actually mid-may and I swear that girl lied to me when she told me because I asked her when is it going to be available because obviously when you buy a couch you want to get it now but I feel like she just told me that so I can just buy it because it's like not that long anyways whatever annoying not annoying we're not annoyed at all this couch I cannot wait to show you guys it'll definitely be in like the Vlogs and stuff also if you're watching on YouTube this back area I've been thinking like what to get there like what to put there I wanted to do some prints but what I'm thinking I can do is get like a little um like a shelf like something like that I know you guys can't see if you're listening um and then have like some artwork here I don't know I'm still trying to figure it out I did get a nice big mirror as well but I just want to furnish the place and make it look really beautiful okay plans what you guys really ask for is the plans um there's definitely going to be things like the like the weekend stuff that I don't really have planned until like the week of like me my friend just went to a rooftop last night which is great I'm going to a farmer's market or like a a market after I filmed this actually I'm just like down to do anything around the city there's like a million things so I'm not going to list everything like me and my friends all have like lists of like shops places to go whatever but um I definitely want to do a picnic with the girls though that'd be so cute but I did write on my list brand events which I've been going to a lot of cool brand events um also explore the city like I said definitely have plans to do more therapy and more um I'm doing my Women's Circle again which is going to be starting it's supposed to start next week but I don't know if it if she's pushing it or not um also totally look into women's circles around your area if you want but just more healing work we love that I'm also going to be going to Calgary in July for the Calgary Stampede so if anyone lives in Calgary like let me know message me and if you're going or you live there like let me know girl I might I'm probably gonna go I'm gonna go for a little bit because I know someone there and um might be like a month thing so you might be getting some Calgary content I'm gonna go to veld for sure because love a good music festival and Central sea is going and like you know my obsession with him uh rolling loud I'm definitely gonna go I don't know when it is they haven't even dropped the lineup yet but we're definitely gonna go I want to do some more Day festivals like day things like I love guys I am a day girly like let's go early as possible so I can get home by 12 o'clock latest and go to sleep so I know that there's this thing called the Toronto Islands if you're not if you don't live in Toronto where they do a lot of like little day music festival Vibes I know sometimes they're a little bit odd like some of the people that go there are doing some things interesting things but then there's some that are just like amazing so I'd love to explore that because I've never actually been I've only been to Toronto Island once and it's beautiful and I think that'll just be even more like it'd be such a vibe to go there and listen to some music uh I definitely want to do some more like Beach yoga like breath work things outside and really get more into like the healing Community the spiritual community in Toronto I am a very balanced girly like I can go to the club if you want which don't usually love but like I could do that and like rock out with you but I could also be up at like 7 A.M going for a cold water dip and doing breath work on the beach also summer Cottage House me my friends are totally going to do this I don't know when we were thinking maybe like I don't know if it was May no we're gonna do that at the end of the summer I think well kind of the end like Labor Day weekend so I definitely want to do that so if you guys have any recommendations and also let me know what you're doing so that I can copy you let me know in the comments also my condo just opened up the Terence so I cannot wait to go sit out there and watch the sunset hopefully I can watch the sunset I don't know where it's actually positioned because I've never been there it wasn't open when I came and actually looked at this condo um just to sit out there and have a little Vibe going with some music and just chilling and relaxing I cannot wait I just can't wait for anything anything to do with warm weather I'm here all right let's get into the next question someone asked can you talk about self-confidence when it comes to wearing bikinis oh my gosh I remember the days when I was like in high school and my whole entire Focus was was I going to be bikini ready like that was as soon as January hit honestly February March like it was just all I was thinking about all the time and then I never got to that point where I felt like I was bikini ready and then I literally put my whole entire life on hold and just thought okay maybe next year maybe next year and I was just so uncomfortable and so unhappy with myself so I definitely know the struggle I feel like so many of us go through it and you know what I understand the movement on social media where they say your body is a bikini body because you just have a body like you don't need to have a certain shape or anything to wear a bikini and it's so true but I know when you guys are saying like you want to feel like bikini ready or whatever I understand that you still have this desire to want to look your best like we all do so it's really not to bag on the body positivity movement and I think it's beautiful that we have that movement but I am also going to honor and recognize the part of us that does want to look our best and does want to fit in and does want to just look amazing so one thing before we even get to you know honoring that part of us is honestly to remind yourself that it is totally fine that you don't look like everyone else like I asked myself the question sometimes not really anymore because I just don't I don't compare myself like this I do have a lot of videos on this by the way but you know when you go to the beach and you realize that you don't look like those other girls and everyone looks amazing like better than you in your head okay and what so let's just like come to the realization that okay you know what yeah these people look better than me everyone has a nice body and then what well obviously that makes you feel like crap but it's like but the world is still spinning like we're still gonna be okay like everyone is gonna be fine even when you don't have this bikini body it's like we look at it as we it's like death if we don't have this body and it really does feel like that because what's really underneath the feeling of like death is I'm not worthy I'm not connected I'm not loved and the truth is if you're around the right people obviously you will be accepted and loved and valued regardless of what your body looks like okay you don't have the skinniest body you don't have the body that looks like your best friend that looks amazing okay well if she's your best friend and she's great she's still gonna love you anyways you know like okay what you're not gonna get chosen by who uh a guy or okay what you're not gonna have the most picture-perfect Instagram photo okay and now what we don't have that and now what we're still fine we're still here it's totally fine so just want to say that like it's honestly you need to neutralize this idea of like having this bikini body because it shouldn't be that relevant it honestly shouldn't be that relevant but again I know that it can be obviously you just want to look good and feel good so one thing that you can do when it comes to feeling bikini ready the beach Vibes whatever font please find something that looks good on you that you're comfortable in and you feel as confident as you can in listen there's been times where I have felt 10 times more insecure about my body because I was trying to wear bikinis that other girls were wearing but they didn't have the same body type as me so I felt even worse like the fact that I was trying to you know hike up my um my bikini bottoms like everyone else because it's a trend right now but then I was like oh my gosh I do not like the way that looks and really my body type it looks better if I just have them like mid-rise or low rise because I already have really big hips I don't need to hike things up because my hips are already there like you can only see the shape without me doing that and I look so much better when with my bikini bottoms just being like mid-rise but because I used to try and fit in and wear them up high I would hate my body even more so please find what works for your body and listen I know you might have this thought well nothing works for my body okay well find what looks the best that you possibly can and you do not need to be perfect bringing it back to the fact that okay and okay even if you find a mid-rise bikini bottom that doesn't look the best and maybe there's a little bit of fat that's like hanging out okay and who cares like at the end of the day let's neutralize this idea of like you need to not have fat there you need to whatever right like again let's move away from that but again what's gonna make you feel a little bit better is wearing something that works with your body and I remember or honestly even the times now like some of my friends would be like oh you can borrow my bikini or you can whatever I have this one friend and her booty is so big naturally so big and she just she is shaped like a freaking Coke bottle I think that's how you say it I don't know and um she has these tiny little bikini bottoms and they look amazing on her she'll pull them up like girl get it but she'll she'll be like oh you can like you can borrow one of mine and I'm like girl that's I know my body and I know that I'm not gonna feel comfortable in that and I don't think that I look that flattering in that because I don't have the same body type as you so I'm not gonna do that I'm gonna find the ones that I love the ones that I love are like the seamless uh ones the ones that are not too tight on me not the little string thongs Vibes I like a little cheeky butt but like you know one good place also to get bikinis that I I got for my Tulum trip it's called black black bow b o u g h I believe you can find it on my Instagram I have a bikini from there and um they have like really nice seamless like just beautiful bikinis so but anyways um yeah like I know the Fabrics that will sit well on my body I know the like the high rise the mid-rise like what looks the best I know what looks the best on my top half so just knowing your body I was actually watching somebody on Tick Tock and she was talking about how like majority of people do not know their body type they don't know how to dress themselves they just see whatever is in the mall and they pick it up they might think it's cute or they might get influenced by someone and whatever but then they put it on and it's like they feel awkward and they feel uncomfortable and they don't like their bodies even more and it takes a lot of you really getting to know your body and not always trying to follow the trends and the everything uh another thing like just because none of your friends wear cover-ups doesn't mean that you can't like I love those little sarongs I don't know if I'm saying that correctly the ones that like tie over your hip if you feel comfortable in that wear that if you want to cover up wear that like there's so many options now that you just you don't again it's this idea of how you think that you need to look and be well if I don't wear a two-piece bikini that's hiked up on my hips and has like a little thong whatever and the thing at the top is so tiny then I'm not gonna be bikini ready like no find what works for you and I promise you you're going to look amazing you're going to look amazing because you feel comfortable and you feel as confident as you possibly can in your body you know the way that you look and people perceive you and like see you it really comes down a lot of the times to your energy and how you feel in your body it's not just what you see in front of you you can tell when somebody's very uncomfortable in their own body and they're wearing clothes that don't fit right and whatever wear clothes that fit right and I promise you you will look amazing you'll start to exude this energy of confidence and it'll be sexy it'll be amazing and then you'll start to show yourself that you never needed to be like these girls like you never needed to look exactly like these girls like you are beautiful and that is the type of like honestly that is how you transform this like body dysmorphia into looking at yourself like wow I'm actually beautiful and I've gone through that same journey I basically have had the same body that you know I've had in the Years obviously it fluctuated muscles change things like that but it's the perception and how I view myself and how I dress myself that I look at myself now and I'm like wow my body is like so much different than the past but it's really it's really not it's just the way that I dress and the way that I look at myself and how comfortable I feel in my own body that honestly changes everything for me and for how people perceive me as well also two more things that I'm gonna say obviously if you're struggling with any sort of body image issues obviously we need to heal that do a lot of healing work self-love self-acceptance all that I have lots of videos on my main Channel but then there's always going to be that component of the way that you are are going to feel confident in yourself is if you're taking care of yourself now I'm not saying go to the gym so you can change your body to look bikini ready I just mean take care of yourself because honestly when you get up every day or every other day or however many times you go and you you know that you're taking care of yourself in the gym and you're eating right then first of all you should never beg on yourself if you don't look a certain way if you're actually taking care of yourself and on top of that you're just going to be able to combat those negative beliefs when you are at the beach and you're like wow I don't look like that girl well you can tell yourself well you know what I'm doing the best that I can you know I look the best that I can I can't do anything else one last thing before you go to the beach or anywhere honestly even just like wearing summer clothes like romanticize a little routine before you go oil yourself up like shave your legs like look amazing smell amazing again find that right bikini that looks amazing on you get dolled up look your best and you will feel your best this is going to lead into the next question where somebody asks like how to have confidence in summer and like summer our bodies in general so I'm just assuming summer clothes naturally we are taking off layers naturally we're looking at ourselves in the mirror more and we're like okay honey what's going on here I think it comes back down to finding the makeup routine the skincare routine the hair routine your favorite pairs of jeans shorts tops whatever it is finding what works for you you are always going to feel the most confident you are always going to look the most beautiful the most radiant when you are using products and you're finding what works for you there is a million products on the market there's a million types of Trends and clothes and everything but what is unique to you what looks the best to you and that's going to take some time okay like we like the the things that are the best in life they really do take time and that also comes with you know your health Fitness but also your beauty okay it's taken me a long time to look as amazing that I do when it comes to my appearance because I've taken the time to figure out what looks good for my eyebrow shape what looks good on my eyes what looks good on my skin how to do my hair it's taken me a while to do that the types of tops that look the best on me the types of bottoms like how I present myself everything so it's like you're gonna have to commit really to seeing what is unique to me what looks the best on me how do I nurture myself the best that I can and that obviously means trying things out if you feel very uncomfortable in certain clothing if you don't love the makeup look and you don't feel like you can go out in broad daylight and just like your face can be just like shining and everyone's gonna see it and you're just gonna feel so radiant then that that makeup looks probably not for you that those clothes are probably just not for you right now that's totally fine you can literally find anything that's going to make you look amazing but again it just comes down to trying things someone also asked me Wellness tips and routines for like spring and summer I'm definitely gonna make a whole podcast episode on that and most likely some video videos on my main Channel because I'm definitely in my Wellness girl era and I feel like we all naturally are someone asked me how did I heal my relationship with food I have a whole video on that so I will have that in the show notes um but essentially I'll just give you a quick rundown I needed to get to the root of my food issues and why it was that I was so addicted to eating sweets processed foods all of these soothing things which really I had to address the part of me that didn't know how to cope with certain emotions in my life and on the other hand there was two parts that played a role it was my inner child that was going to certain behaviors like like most of us we go to to food to emotionally eat suppress things like that but then on the flip side I had another part of me that was like the strict Tyrant part of me that was heavily influenced by Tumblr social media in general and had this very skewed perception of what it is that I needed to look like and be like which was perfect effect which didn't exist and that part of me picked up really strict behaviors like eating like dieting uh working out doing all these very restrictive things which ended up just pushing my inner child to want to go run to the food to begin with so it became this cycle and until I really healed my emotional self my inner child realized why I was ever going to that in the first place but on the flip side also addressing why I picked up wit first of all where I picked up these ideas of who I needed to be and how I needed to look and a lot of that had to do with the fact that I lived in an environment where I wasn't the most picked in school I had low Confidence from so many different things in my life and that made me have a bigger pull to want to change and diet and strict and I hated myself I just didn't love myself so those two components I really needed to like detach from like what I thought I needed to be and look like like I've been talking about in this video even when it comes to like the body image and bikini stuff but on top of that you know there was still that part of me that was not eating the best not taking care of myself well why well it was because I had a part of me that just wanted to soothe herself wanted to run away wanted to isolate wanted to eat candy wanted to not take care of herself because she was hurting I had a lot of trauma I had a lot of things I needed to process so when I realized I was getting in this binge cycle really unhealthy relationship with food the first thing that I did was step away from dieting at all stepping away from this like this idea of like having to have all these goals and having to be this tumbler girl I had to do that and you might have to do that well you will have to do that which is hard because some people don't want to let it go like I didn't want to let it go I didn't want to let go of my idea of who I wanted to be I wanted to be fit I wanted to be hot I wanted to be accepted I wanted to be healthy I wanted to be all of these things but I wasn't able to get there I was doing it wrong so I had to detach and once I detached I was able to heal I took a few years healing I didn't strict diet I didn't count calories I ate kind of healthy but I let myself eat what I wanted I would say intuitively eat but now I intuitively eat how people think intuitively eating is is not what they really think it is especially when you're coming from an unhealthy relationship with food because you try to intuitively eat but you're still not there yet because you're not addressing the mental health component and then so you end up just overeating and then eating your emotions and then suppressing and you're not getting to the root so it's helpful in a way to get away from dieting but then people get stuck sorry guys my camera died so I don't really remember what I was saying but yeah essentially I took some time to heal and people want a quick fix a quick answer they want to have the body and look amazing and eat perfectly but then they don't want to actually take a moment to step back from being so restrictive and doing all these crazy things and I just think that you need to come to a point where you're honestly living really balanced and I think one thing that I really got rid of about myself when it came to Health Fitness anything really and I'm still working on that because it it seeps into every part of your life is perfectionism because I find that a lot of women who struggle with dieting and cycling they're trying to strive for Perfection they're doing it because they have a lot of self-hate and they have a lot of emotional issues and um the idea of who they think they need to be and how they need to achieve that thing is very skewed and I'm saying that from experience it doesn't need to be that hard after taking so much time off and healing and fixing my relationship with food and not being so strict and not caring essentially um my bodies looked amazing I look amazing and only now really I'm just getting back into my fitness era again I've always kind of worked out and moved my body and stuff but nothing extreme now I am and I'm doing it a different way like I'm doing it from a place of self-love I'm doing it from a place of let's challenge myself let's have fun let's let's be balanced let's not be over the top so if you find that you continue to keep going over over the top then there's probably things that you need to heal which definitely go watch that video and also you can let me know if you want me to make an updated uh podcast episode on that because I can totally do that all right I got a few questions here about how to save money this summer someone said I found myself I find myself spending money especially on the weekends because of fomo so I totally get that I think it will always depend on how much money you really have to be spending or not right in terms of budgeting and that's my first thing is you really do need to give yourself a budget if you have a goal in mind of how much you want to save or just the fact that like you only have a certain amount of money to spend then you need to make sure that you have some sort of budget so you stay on track like put away I don't know 20 50 100 a week dedicated to you being able to spend on the stuff that would trigger you into like fomo type thing some people might be like oh no you should just not have that at all you should just like be super strict if you really struggle with spending though you definitely need to address like the emotional component to that because there usually is an emotional component um a lot of us struggle also with finances and that's a whole other topic for another day I could totally go into that how I fixed up my finances and I have a video on YouTube but you really you really got to see yourself for who you are and why it is that you're spending all the time now I know you said fomo but at the end of the day it's like okay well where's the boundaries then also you know what I'm gonna pull this up from Instagram I saw it today and I saved it because I figured it was good tips so this lady her Instagram is how I fund this now I probably wouldn't say these things exactly the same way but I thought that these tips were good so she said or the infographic that she posted is this is what talking to your friends about money sounds like and so this is obviously for when friends want to continue to go out and do things everything everyone's doing everything on the weekend one of the things you can say is the next two months are going to be expensive for me can we please do it when we have uh things calm down a little bit another one I'm currently trying to save for a holiday but I'd love to see you cake and coffee at mine instead or money's a bit tight until payday so I'll have to sit this one out but I'll see you next time like it's really that simple right but we we were afraid to say no we're afraid to also miss out on things so this is what I say for one when it comes to being afraid to like say no you need to because it's either going to be them or you and you're going to be the one that has to deal with the consequences of you not having money in your financial situation being shambles what's gonna help you with that though is reminding yourself this is not the last time you're ever going to be able to go out like there is and I always think about this when it comes to the city especially there is something always going on every day of the week any time of the day all season long there will always be something going on so you don't need to rush and you don't need to act on that thing right now because it's going to be there tomorrow and you don't need to go to every single thing anyways that's just not that's not normal that's not how life Works don't you want to like take your time and you know save up some money to go on this thing or like save up some time in your energy literally your social battery to go out to this event at the end of the month it's going to be great instead of going to it every single uh week you know like there's like pool parties that happen in the city or club nights or day things festivals all summer long you don't need to go to all of them and trust me you're going to experience it and have way more fun if you go less honestly also a few more tips that I have here when it comes to spending because I feel like also in summer we are very susceptible to buying new outfits and just buying new things definitely make sure that you're buying pieces that you can interchange so a pair of really good jeans that you can wear with like a million tops or like this one this versatile top that's like a white or a beige or a black but you could pair it with any sort of Jean or any skirt like we don't need to only wear things one time especially when you are on a budget or you want to make sure that your finances or finances are in alignment then you need to really think about these things even when it comes to like doing your nails you can do your nails at home if you're trying to save money do your nails at home go on YouTube type in how to do your nails professionally at home and not the ones where you buy the like the fake things you have to buy a bunch of things but like seriously just how to do a freaking normal manicure like for me for my toes I honestly never go and get my toes done because I know that I can do it at home I have the money to be able to get my nails done and I honestly suck at doing my nails so I get it done but there was a time for sure that I didn't want to spend money on my nails so I just did it at home uh another tip walk places if possible now that I don't have a car this is definitely something that I'm focusing more on uh just to walk places instead of taking an Uber or even spending money on I don't know like transportation and stuff I know sometimes you can't but get used to walking have a good audiobook going on your phone or a podcast that's free and uh romanticize the times where you need to like you know go from one place to another instead of being like Oh no I just need to take an Uber I need to do this make sure you have good shoes as well invest in a pair of good shoes for the summer so you can do some walking and these are really just for people who might have the money to spend on on random stuff but just you know something comes up or oh I'm not wearing the right shoes so I'm just gonna Uber like no and that's me like I'm talking to myself honestly at this point um another thing is uh eat before you go out so you're not tempted to buy random things on the way like let's say you're going to Trinity Bellwoods Park which is like a park in Toronto and like whatever or you're just exploring the city make sure that you've eaten before this is not to also say that you're going to be cheap and you're going to go to the restaurants and you're gonna like order water you're gonna order nothing like don't do that like honestly just don't go to the restaurant but I just mean like random thing if you're somebody who just picks up like oh I'm hungry I need a snack whatever like first of all eat before you go and do something obviously if you're going to lunch or something you don't need to do that just go for lunch if you have the money if you have it in your budget but just like those small little things will add up over time if you are somebody who's active who goes out a lot who whatever is hungry another thing bring snacks with you like bring a water bottle as well with you I don't know how many times I've spent so much money on freaking water bottles like five dollars on freaking water bottle and I'll have one sip because I'm dying of thirst but then I just throw it out like these are things you really have to pre-plan and you have to think about of course another big thing especially for the summer time is to meal prep and to make sure you have majority of your meals at home this is all outside of just saving money too you can just remind yourself that this is for your health and you really don't need to constantly be buying all the things like when you go out with your friends like you don't have to get an appetizer and a main and three drinks and dessert or whatever you can just get like one small thing you don't need to do what everyone else is doing I also put on my list here connect with people and I think this is more for like the girlies who are going to a patio or going somewhere you never know who you can meet who might want to buy you a drink or buy you a little some sum okay not you know listen this is not to like look out for the guys who are just gonna like buy you everything please don't do that please don't do that have some more self-respect and I mean that in the nicest way okay it's great to be treated but there comes a point where you don't need to rent every man for all he has just because you want a free drink like it's giving desperate it's giving broke it's giving don't please don't like learn how to spend your own money on things because honestly I do think that uh the energy that you're in is really you're just gonna continue to attract that same energy so if you're in scarcity if you're in broke mentality if you're in like yeah and you're trying to get somebody to constantly like buy things for you buy things it's not gonna last it's not gonna be a thing I find that you usually attract people who want to spend more money on you or want to take you out want to do things when you do that for yourself when you have self-respect when you get your ass up and you work and you spend your money on yourself okay just a pro tip someone asks how to love yourself on a weight loss Journey you need to accept yourself for where you're at right now you're allowed to change but you please just accept yourself for what you are right now I feel like so many people on a weight loss Journey they just hate what they see in the mirror and I get it you don't like it you're not comfortable you feel like you're not a part of society you like you know like the the beauty standard the whatever you feel like you want to look a certain way whatever it is that you think and you feel but at the end of the day it's what's going to make it a lot easier for you is for you to just accept it for you to not go to the gym and constantly pick at that one thing that looks so terrible on you and you hate it and you just want to change it go to the gym and focus on the things that look amazing about you and if nothing looks amazing and you really can't praise yourself okay let's not think about it right now we don't need to think about the negative we're just making it we're putting ourselves through honestly we're suffering when we do things like that okay so just please accept yourself through the Journey remind yourself that you are here and you are committed and you're doing the work and that is what you should be praising yourself for instead of begging on yourself for where you've gotten I actually will have a video already posted by the time you listen to this episode and it's like exiting my lazy era and I talk a lot about detaching from outcomes and identifying as somebody who goes to the gym and really being able to just be consistent with your goals so I suggest you watch that video because that will definitely help you if you're on a weight loss Journey or if you're on like a gaining Journey or any Journey when it comes to transforming yourself and also one last tip is to please stop putting your life on hold you can't do that you can't do it I know it's hard I know you want to feel comfortable and you want to look amazing and you want to whatever but if you again like let go of who you think that you need to be at this moment in time and and please just like you have to live your life you've got to go to the beach still you got to go outside and get sun you need to connect with people you need to love on yourself through this process you have to do it if you do not do it you're it's going to be very very hard and most likely not sustainable and you're going to fall back I'm telling you I've been through it I haven't been somebody who's been very overweight but I've been through the Journey of wanting to change myself and it never worked out it never worked out and I know it can be hard listen I know but again letting go of the idea of like who you have to be like I know that Society tells us we have to look like this and it's just so much easier to be hot and like be skinny whatever but honestly once you get there you realize like that's not what life is even um I don't want to say that's not what life is about it's a definitely a part of life is looking amazing and feeling great but oh my gosh like we just put so much focus on how we should look and that's just not what we're here to do somebody said recommend summer hobbies to pick up and I just wrote here you can make anything a hobby by just making it a part of your routine so you know maybe once a week you're going to walk around shops and you're looking at I don't know like art pieces or you're learning how to paint but you're doing it once a week and you're going on Pinterest or you YouTube and you're typing out how to make a art piece or how to paint a butterfly or anything or you know you want to get into plants so you start you you buy a book on plants or you go on YouTube and you start to like have this you know you start to teach yourself how to be a plant mom I think my biggest tip for that though is to try new things like you have to because if you don't really know what to have for a hobby but you told yourself like oh I need to have it then try new things get out there and try and paint try and get flowers and see if you can keep them alive try dancing to your favorite music in your apartment and see how much you love it like that can be a hobby in itself every Friday night you're having a glass of wine or a mocktail and you're just dancing and you're vibing and you're enjoying life or you're going down to the water and you're having this like you're just romanticizing your life you're having a good time someone asked what are some Bettors for your skin makeup options for summer I I don't wear a lot of makeup but I've used Ilya foundation for this will be the second year or like the second bottle I used one bottle in one year because I don't use it that often but I really like it and it is it's called true skin serum foundation with niacinamide and allotone aloe infused I don't know that last word um but yeah it's really good I like it and it's very very light on your skin I don't I'm not even wearing it right now on my skin in the video but I really like that when it comes to I like more skincare products because I want my skin to be glowing and and hydrating I don't really care too much about the foundation and stuff but um svr biotic which is like a cream moisturizer Game Changer I talk about all the time on my Instagram please go and freaking get that it is pretty pricey but it's amazing um or you could just use any of like your any moisturizer that you have add a little bit of jojoba oil in that and make your skin glowing I love it um but I've really been loving blush and I've been using the pixie sticks from Shoppers and I have like a peach color and also like a like a pink blush color and I just like tap it on my cheeks it's so cute for the summer I love it and mascara and I just like brush my eyebrows up like the minimal the minimal makeup is the best for me okay last question that I'm going to address somebody said how to have a sense of safety living in a dangerous city slash like having being lied to by people that you love and I thought this was interesting because I'm sure I mean even if you don't live in a city in general being a woman probably in your 20s even 30 whatever age you are you know you might feel a little vulnerable one thing my somatic therapist taught me is for one if you do perceive everything to be a threat they kind of will be this is not to say that if you stop looking at a random man like a freaking homeless person that looks like they're literally gonna come up to you and freaking hit you um is not a threat that they're just gonna not be a threat so obviously I want to say that very lightly but I just want to kind of give you that perspective shift in a way let's try not to look at absolutely everything and everyone as a threat because I do think that does something to your energy and then that sometimes is what makes you susceptible to more dangerous things because you feel insecure you feel like you have no walls No Boundaries no protection um and another thing that she told me as well is honestly having a physical item with you even though you would never use it like something that's obviously like legal and wherever you live can be very helpful for your energy because again if you feel like you got something on you and you are safe you're gonna exude this energy of like do not f with me and you're also going to make yourself feel calm at safe like you know I have myself and I can protect myself and whatever obviously it depends on like what situations that you're in like you might need to do more or less than that but I thought those were two really good uh tips that she's given me also a few other ones that I thought about make sure you're always talking to someone on the phone if you're walking home late at night and you feel uncomfortable and there's not a lot of people around again this is really just gonna depend I I don't even know if I've really walked the streets of Toronto at night by myself yet um actually I did I walked home from a Blue Jays game but there's so many people on the street so I was just listening to my music and I was very aware of my surroundings and there was never really an area there's like police everywhere as well but if I was you know walking down the street I'd make sure that I'm actually physically talking on the phone with somebody um another thing is always let people know where you're going your friends your family whoever wherever if you are doing something alone like majority of the time just let people know what you're doing where you're going things like that another thing if you are posting on social media and you are alone I would suggest post when you leave um I don't always do that when I'm with people and I'm safe and I'm and I know that I'm safe but you know there's some times where I just like I'll save honestly sometimes I'll just save it because I don't feel like posting in that moment but just like posts I don't know like later in the day but yeah I think it does come back to the fact that like you know that perspective shift make sure you have something on you and really like stand in that that confidence being like nobody is going to take anything away from me like you cannot take things away from me like I have myself you have to give yourself that energy and you have to protect yourself because you know when you are alone No One's Gonna Do it for you but you so it's like who's it gonna be is it gonna be this threat or is it gonna be me me I'm choosing me every time I'm betting on myself every time honey like no that's not happening so anyways that's gonna be it for this episode there was a few more questions let me see if there is anything else somebody said uh to talk about my gym era and that video will talk about it more the and exiting my uh Lazy Girl era right now I am in the phase of building muscle um definitely want a nice round booty um but it's not like the whole Focus like trust me when I say that it is not the way that I used to look at um wanting results in the gym like it is what it is like it's not that big of a deal I also obviously want to build muscle as being a woman and it's so good for your hormones and it's just so healthy for us to have muscle and functionality in general and I sit a lot as well so that's really important I do have a lot of playlists if you want uh to listen to some music I have house music rap music what else yeah I don't know a lot of different genres of music on my Spotify so go to my Instagram I have a story highlight and it says music and you can tap through and I link all the playlists but yeah I think in the next few episodes we can totally talk more about spring summer Vibes let me know in the comments or DM me let me know like what you want to hear I was thinking like I said of doing like how to build like a spring summer Wellness routine also how to be productive while enjoying summer because I know that you know when summer comes sometimes we fall off and we you know we fall off a little bit too much so like how to have that balance so let me know and yeah I hope you guys enjoyed this episode and I'll talk to you guys in the next one bye