Notes from the Mel Robbins Podcast with Vanessa Van Edwards

Introduction

• Vanessa Van Edwards, founder of the Science of People, focuses on high achievers, confidence, charisma, and body language.
• She's a bestselling author and a popular guest on the Mel Robbins podcast.
• Discussion on specific behaviors and habits of high achievers and how to implement them for success.

Key High Achiever Behaviors

1. Communication Shortcuts: High achievers use specific behavior patterns to communicate effectively.
   • Say no to difficult people easily.
   • Enjoy achieving their goals and the process itself.
2. Energy Management: Understand and manage social and work energy.
   • Social energy: Conversations, managing people, interpersonal interactions.
   • Work energy: Tackling tasks, breaking down goals, productivity.
   • Identify what gives and drains your energy.
3. Assertiveness: High achievers are assertive with their time and energy.
   • Say no to draining social tasks or people.
   • Focus on work tasks that fuel productivity and enjoyment.
4. Ambivalence: Avoid ambivalent relationships and tasks.
   • Ambivalent relationships/task drain more energy than positive or clearly negative ones.
   • Focus social energy on people and tasks that provide joy and value.

Increasing Likability

1. Pigmalion Effect: Setting positive expectations can bring them to life.
   • Use positive labels for yourself and others.
2. Authenticity: Being genuine and vulnerable increases likability.
   • Admitting mistakes and showing vulnerability makes one more relatable and likable.
3. Describing Tasks: Use discriptive names for tasks to set clear expectations.
   • Examples: Collaborative session, creative hour, power through day.

Non-Verbal Communication Cues

1. Body Language: Maximize the distance between your ear and shoulder to appear more confident.
   • Avoid turtling (hunching shoulders and tucking chin).
2. Hand Gestures: Keep hands visible and use purposeful gestures.
   • Power steeple: Touch tops of fingertips together with space between palms.
   • Rubbing hands together to show excitement.
3. Space Claiming: Confidently take up space to exude power and presence.
   • Use armrests, open posture.
4. Toes and Angles: Align toes towards people to show attention and respect.
   • Point toes towards influential people or towards the exit if wanting to leave.

Verbal Communication

1. Using Labels: Employ achievement-oriented words to motivate and influence.
   • Words like master, success, win, and achieve improve performance and motivation.
2. Mindful Questions: Ask meaningful questions to break autopilot conversations.
   • Example questions: What's been good? Working on anything exciting? Have any fun plans?

Social Interaction Strategies

1. Networking Events: Best places to stand for effective networking.
   • Avoid the start zone (near the entrance or coat check).
   • Stand where people exit the bar for longer conversations.
2. Work Environment: Sitting near high performers can improve your performance by 15%.
   • Avoid sitting near low performers as it can decrease performance by 30%.

Productivity and Goal Setting

1. Alphabet Work: Categorize tasks into A, B, C, and D based on proficiency and energy.
   • A: Tasks you excel at and enjoy.
   • B: Tasks you're good at but not exceptional.
   • C: Tasks you're average at and feel clunky doing.
   • D: Tasks you're bad at and should avoid.
2. Optimizing Tasks: Focus on A tasks, delegate B, C, and D tasks.
3. Daily Reflection: Pause at the end of the day to assess your performance and energy management.
4. Setting Enjoyable Goals: Ensure you enjoy the process of achieving goals, not just the end result.

Final Takeaways

• You are enough; focus on working smarter, not harder.
• Manage your social and work energy assertively.
• Avoid ambivalence to prevent burnout.
• Enjoy the process of achieving your goals for sustained happiness and success.