Listen up. The soap you shower with? It's shit. You probably haven't even questioned questioned what bar soap you lather up with.
Let's face it. Most guys don't. They're still using whatever bar their mommy bought for her little man. Is that what you want? To smell like mama's little man? But now you can upgrade your shower game with dr squatch natural soap. I'm talking about natural nourishing cold-pressed hand-cut soap for men. Men who use their hands. Men who build things. Men who open the pickle jar on the first try. Men who catch foul balls without spilling their beer. You won't just smell good either. Your skin will be healthier and more nourished. Dare i say, soft. Oh. Men aren't supposed to have soft skin? Yeah, well, men weren't supposed to cry during movies. And then they made the movie Rudy. "He was so little." You want to smell like the forest? Boom! Pine tar. We've got you. You want to smell like the sea? Boom! Nautical Sage. We've got you. You want to smell like you just got off a boat in the Caribbean? Boom! Bay Rum. We've got you. And with six more scents we've got you covered no matter what kind of man you are. Now you're wondering why have I been doing it wrong for so long. During the first World War, big soap started taking out all the natural ingredients, to make production cheaper and faster. They replaced all the natural stuff with chemicals. Chemicals like: sodium lauryl sulfate, parabens, and dioxane. But there's good news. We make our soaps with natural ingredients from the earth. Ingredients like, oils, plants, goat's milk, greek yogurt, oatmeal, shea butter and citrus. "No! To Sasquatch" Turn your shower game up to 11. With the smooth lather of gold moss, or the exfoliating woodsy bliss that is pine tar. Get ready to step out of the shower feeling alive. Still not sure? Here's a couple reviews from real customers. Joseph S. says: This is THE perfect bar of soap. It's like it was hand crafted in the northwest forest by beautiful tiny elves. Oh tiny elves isn't enough for you? Well here's another review from Michael A: It makes you feel like, you just stepped out of a mountain stream and squatch was there, to hand you the towel. Time for you to get the right tool for the job. Because you're worth it my friend. We ship it right to your door. And with a 100% satisfaction guaranteed, if it's not the best bar of soap you've ever used, it's on us. Click the link for Dr Squatch Natural Soap. Real soap for real men. Or don't, and continue to be mommy's little helper.
(Crew: That's a wrap! Alright, nice!) Did he click it yet? Did he click the link? He hasn't clicked the link? I wouldn't wanna heard about the dry, sad, balls. Man, what's this guy doing. Click the link man! Step up your shower game!