hi everyone welcome back to another podcast episode my name is Alicia Gogan the host of The Globe Seekers podcast where I help you expand your mind and become more self-aware so that you can glow up into the best version of yourself hello how are we doing today we are talking about stress anxiety your nervous system because you know what something that I know is true about all of us we are stressed out girlies and we need to stop that this is the year of not being stressed now I started my soft life Journey probably a year and a half almost two years ago and when I mean soft life I simply mean living a more stress-free life and of course on the podcast we talk heavily about healing inner child healing a lot of mindset work getting ourselves into the best version of ourselves now one thing that's really important when it comes to Healing is understanding that your body is such a huge contributor a big player when it comes to how you're feeling obviously on a day-to-day basis and although we can really work on our mindsets and we can journal and we can emotionally release there are going to be things that we need to do on a physical level to help keep our nervous systems at Bay AKA in rest and digest so we have a lot of things to talk about I have a lot of notes I want to talk about the nervous system quickly I want to talk about fight flight freeze and fawn responses very quickly I want to talk about some tips to help you manage anxiety in the moment if you're feeling really triggered or really stressed but I also want to again talk about some of the things that help you maintain a healthy nervous system things that I have learned over the years things that I've learned in courses things that I've learned with my somatic therapist not just a regular talk therapist and things that I've seen when working with other people and honestly just my friends or just you know being that friend who always gives the advice and always working through my stressed out friends like like I see a lot of things I just want to say though I'm not a doctor I'm not a therapist you can take or leave whatever it is that you want from this podcast this is again just suggestions my advice things that have worked for me I'm going to give you some resources as well because obviously I don't know every single thing and I wouldn't be able to even give you everything all the information in one podcast episode but I'm excited to talk about this one thing I'm going to note and you can only really understand this if you are watching on YouTube by the way if you're new here listening to the podcast I do have a YouTube channel of my podcast episodes if for one day you want to see me and watch me you can watch me on YouTube the globeseekers podcast I'll have it linked in the show notes but I went to my friend's house the other day for the mid-summer Swedish party that they had and her name is Tess I'm sure you guys have heard of her and she has a podcast the busy blooming podcast and she has just built this like podcast Nook and now now it's really inspiring me to get my ass up and get something in this freaking corner like I have been talking about it for how long now guys and I still haven't gotten anything in this freaking corner I want a chair I want a little Nook I want to get a light as well I'm gonna order it listen when I come back from Calgary and I'm done living my Coastal cowgirl life I promise you I will dedicate some time effort and money into some sort of nicer visual for you guys I just wanted to mention that because I am very inspired after being at her place and seeing her studio and by the way this is part five I believe of our summer glow up series so if you are new here and you have not listened to the previous four episodes you can go listen to it I mean you can start with this it's totally fine but we are doing a series throughout the summer and I am addressing mental emotional physical all of the things to help you really glow up into the best version of yourself because we are well-rounded girlies here all right so we need to talk about the nervous system first because I don't know maybe some people don't really know what the nervous system really means and again I'm not like a full-on expert and I'm not even going to make this very difficult I am going to pull up something and I'm going to read it so you understand just the basics of what is your nervous system so for today we are going to just talk about the two sides in a way of the nervous system that's not really how you would really think about it there's not like a certain side like a left side or a right side of your nervous system but there's two sides we're going to talk about okay and one of them is called the sympathetic nervous system AKA your fight or flight response and I think when we are talking about nervous systems or being stressed that's probably what you've heard before your fight or flight responds I'm very stressed and the sympathetic nervous system is very beneficial for us It prepares our body to deal with stress this part of your nervous system as well produces cortisol and adrenaline it also will increase your blood pressure and your heart rate and it also decreases is your digestion there's a lot of other things that it does but the reason why it does that is because this nervous system response is preparing your body to fight or flight so this is obviously really good if let's say we were living in fields back in the day and there was Bears or there was lions or there was whatever and we needed to run well we need our body to kick in cortisol kick in Adrenaline take away that energy that is used to digest food and give it to ourselves so we can run away or that we can fight something it's very very useful so when we perceive something to be a threat our body will kick on that nervous system and we will have that energy to be safe to be alive it's a great response the problem though is our bodies don't know the difference between a real or a perceived threat so this day and age there are many things in our day-to-day lives that turn on our fight or flight response when it's not actually needed now a while back when I mean a while back probably like two years ago I took a stress resilience course and I really loved it honestly and I want to talk more about it but anyways I pulled up this paper because it lists out all the ways in which our bodies can perceive something to be a threat and turn on that fight or flight response so I'm just going to read some of them so you can really like take it in here Financial pressures employment toxins allergens death of a loved one emotional stress repetitive stress psychological stress marital stress lack of enjoyable and rejuvenating activities lack of relaxation lack of sleep over exertion negative attitudes and beliefs trying to be perfect being in the position of powerlessness unwanted unemployment fear coffee caffeine smoking sugar and white flower products lack of good food and the list goes on okay so there are a lot of emotional things that will create this fight-or-flight response there's a lot of physical things like food such as processed food and caffeine that can trigger our fight-or-flight response there's a lot of Behavioral things like literally checking your phone all of these things can turn on our fight or flight response now this is a problem because our body's not meant to always stay in this fight or flight state by the way just quick note if you're watching on YouTube I'm sorry that the sun is going to come in and out we're just going to allow it to be what it needs to be today and the reason why it's not good to always be in fight or flight obviously is because like I just said it is increasing your heart rate it's increasing your blood pressure it is taking your energy away from your digestion to use for something else as it thinks it needs for you to run away from it also releases cortisol it releases adrenaline and too much cortisol too much adrenaline that is going to dysregulate your hormonal profile you are literally going to feel like you are ready to fight or flight at all times that's not a good feeling to have when realistically you don't need to run or fight so obviously there is a lot of real sometimes or perceived threats that can happen in our lives now a lot of us we have nervous systems that were once primed to be in fight or flight and we got stuck there in a way and we got stuck there because of trauma so again a natural healthy nervous system it can ebb and flow back and forth into fight-or-flight or rest and digest which I know we haven't really talked about yet but from turning on and off of the nervous system fight or flight but sometimes what's a really big challenge for us is now in our adult lives we have perceived threats or maybe not real threats whatever even though we know that let's say someone who's not texting us back is not really something that we need to turn on our fight or flight response on for because we have always been in this fight-or-flight response first of all we are more easily susceptible and triggered to when somebody doesn't text us back and on top of that because we have this nervous system that never really turned off never really learned how to process a perceived threat it's going to be even harder sometimes for us to get out of that fight or flight response and so it's important for you to to work on your mental state in the way that you're perceiving this stress but on top of that for you to have practices so that your nervous system is always not triggered all the time and or in the moment when you are getting triggered to have practices to bring yourself back down so let's quickly talk about what causes a dysregulated nervous system so when I mean dysregulated nervous system it basically just means like girl you're always in fight or flight like you're perceiving everything to be a threat even if it's real even if it's not whatever it is your nervous system is giving weak it's giving fragile and we love it we can work on it but you know it needs some help so like I said trauma is one of the biggest things that dysregulates the nervous system so I'm just going to read off this little page that I have here what causes a dysregulated nervous system a trauma or an event in the past that we could not process at that time so it didn't complete and it got stuck within our nervous systems so this is the thing right when we let's say I will give you an example of literally something that you wouldn't think is a trauma but it technically is when you are a baby and you are getting nursed on your mom's beautiful little nipple and it's time to probably be weaned off that can be considered a trauma because that is something that you don't know how to deal with yet but your mom is going to be there to Aid you in obviously having more milk through a bottle so in that moment you are resolving a trauma same thing goes with literally if you fall and you break your leg or something you go into the doctors and they fix it they're resolving the trauma well what happens when trauma like you falling or you getting weaned off or things being taken away from you and you're not understanding what happens when there's nobody there to fix it to fix the broken leg to help you heal to help you understand that the food is coming even though you're getting taken off of this one life force you move into survival mode you stay in this fight or flight because you believe your body not really you but your body believes it needs to be on it needs to find survival and when you are perceiving or your body is ready for survival it is gonna stay releasing cortisol it's gonna stay releasing the adrenaline it's gonna stay not giving you the energy you need to digest your food and I know for a fact I had a lot of different problems that I went through and I was always in fight or flight when I was younger I had really bad stomach issues and I've heard many therapists say this especially in the somatic world but realistically a lot of them um and you hear this a lot like when children have constant stomach aches or they have constipation and they have just like you know even a lot of people who have chronic bloating IBS IBD and I got diagnosed by the way with IBD a lot of the times it's stress induced it's because children or people are under high levels of stress even if you don't think that this child is going through this huge traumatic event we are constantly going through so many many traumas in our lives that can affect our bodies on a physical level another thing that's saying here what causes a dysregulated nervous system is continued exposure to danger and stress so again let's think about maybe somebody who hasn't had a very traumatic childhood but you are under constant emotional stress so for me when every single time that I came home I didn't feel that safe around my father and I don't really I don't mean that actually I don't take out the really I don't mean that in a way that I felt like I was in danger like he was going to do anything to me or somebody was going to do something to me but emotionally I was suppressed I was scared I wasn't able to express my emotions like I've talked about in last week's episode and that continuous emotional stress causes me my my nervous system to still be in that fight or flight now other things that cause a dysregulated nervous system it says living in an unsafe environment kind of like my experience again it could have been the fact that you were maybe afraid of like for your life like actually like you were somebody who got abused or whatever happened but again it can just be even the emotional stress another thing here it says life transitions such as death pregnancy divorce Etc so obviously you guys know like there's so many ways in which that we experience stress on a daily basis so when you are younger and your nervous system is primed to just be in fight or flight it makes sense why when you get older you are anxiously attached somebody who's not texting you back is triggering you like crazy you're going out into the world and you're really overwhelmed by things that shouldn't really overwhelm you so it's really to understand and kind of look back in your past and your childhood to see was I under a lot of emotional stress a lot of physical stress a lot of mental stress I like what was the standard what was the living situation and again I think going back to last week's episode can definitely help with that but honestly like you don't even need to do that much digging to know most likely you probably are in some sort of dysregulated nervous system some of the times um because most people honestly are like there's very few people who are very regulated and um like even if we're talking about attachment Styles who have a healthy secure attachment cell it's not to say that it doesn't happen and people aren't and you can't move into that but it obviously takes time but let's quickly talk about the different types of trauma responses AKA different states of being in that fight or flight response because you might not be able to really identify what state you're currently in right now so let's quickly talk about fight because I feel like a lot of us hear that the most so signs that you are in a potentially fight response you have a temper and have Angry outbursts you're aggressive you might be somebody who dominates and controls others you might be somebody who likes to pursue power and control you might be impulsive with decision making you might be assertive but not the healthy assertive basically a bully and the list goes on and for me going through some of these responses I can definitely see different phases in my life where I was in certain trauma responses I think when I was a teenager and I had a lot of anger towards my mom and I was just a teenager I was definitely more in that fight response like I was angry I did want to have control in my life alright next one is the flight response so we have feelings of panic and anxiety you might be a workaholic obsessive and or compulsive behaviors always on the go and staying busy over worrying perfectionist and overachiever hyperactive and over analytical so I think a lot of us probably fall into that category I know when I moving from being a teenager into the years of when my mother was going through her addictions and I really had to just become that adult I moved into this flight response this survival mode of worrying and trying to be perfect and trying to honestly just survive these are all survival mechanisms and that's what we need to understand about all of these okay the next one is the freeze response so this can look like depression disassociation brain fog avoids human contact detached struggles with making decisions hibernating lifeless slash feeling dead inside feeling spaced out and the list goes on and I think for sure some of you guys probably can resonate with that and the last one we'll talk about is the Fawn response which I think is not really talked about that much but I actually think a lot of especially us women we have um been in that state before and this is people pleasing codependent has a hard time standing up for themselves or saying no has lack of boundaries avoids conflict highly concerned with fitting in ETC so maybe you have a combo of all four or maybe two or one or maybe you go back and forth depending on who it is you're around I know for me certain relationships especially with men I move into fond State now now I obviously don't move really into it that much and I can tell when I am but I move into Fawn State because I was in Fond State around my father because that was a way that I knew that I could be say safe and protected is if I people pleased for him if I you know did everything and be a good girl and follow the rules and not rock the boat I know that I can move into free state a lot of the times when I am too overwhelmed when I have too many things on my plate when I'm feeling disconnected from my work when I'm pursuing things that are not actually what my soul is calling for I get into this state of just freezing like stock disassociating I don't want to do anything I don't feel I'm I'm just stuck obviously being in flight mode that's when I'm really in that worry wart mode I am overthinking things I am not trusting the Universe I am not trusting in myself I am not trusting in others I am alone I am isolated things like that and then obviously the fight mode I really don't get into that really at all I think that was again the oldest part of my trauma response was that fight but of course that can definitely come up if somebody really hurts you right or somebody you know is not showing up the way that you need them to in your life so just really recognizing how maybe you show up in any of these ways and taking a moment to reflect on who around you or what things are triggering you to get into these certain States now I think no matter what state that you're in recognizing that you are in a state like either four of them it is really helpful that you do some emotional releasing so again like I was talking about in last week's episode really releasing your emotions sitting with your emotions and I also found something that could be really helpful too and it's called the cycle of emotional regulation so it's a four-step process and anytime that you're feeling or you're like aware that you are feeling some sort of emotion this is something that maybe you could follow as well so number one notice and name the emotion notice that you are experiencing an emotional reaction then name what that emotion is so is it sadness is it fear is it projection the next step is accept the emotion accept that emotions are normal do not judge the response accept invalidate that you are feeling the way that you are it is okay that you feel emotions we demonize emotions when we feel them when we feel sad when we feel uncomfortable when we feel afraid when we feel X Y and Z accept it it's okay you're there's a part of you that's feeling this way be with yourself instead of running away from it and I know it can be scary and that's why people don't want to deal with their emotions but a lot can come out of you actually being with yourself for once and not demonizing emotions and honestly this Society doesn't do a good job at telling ourselves that it's okay especially with men right they tell them emotions are bad but come on emotions are just emotions it tells us a lot actually and it can really guide us and navigate us in this world if we actually listen to what's going on within the third step which kind of piggybacks off of the listening is be curious about the emotion how does this emotion feel where do you feel it in your body how is your breathing what else is coming up for you at this moment and the last step is allowing and releasing the emotions allow your thoughts to come and go release the urge to fight back with your emotions and release any judgment take deep breaths and let the sensation just be now again one more time you can go back to last week's episode to talk more about the emotional release practice that I was talking about which I think is so important but I do think when you realize that you're in any sort of trauma response any sort of like emotions that's coming up for you to kind of sit with yourself and really move with these emotions that are coming up within you so let's bring it back to anxiety how I'm going to talk about anxiety right now is really more from the fight or flight response and ways in which you can manage your anxiety or your fight or flight response when you are getting triggered so something to understand is that when you are perceiving something to be going wrong in your life not only are you mentally like being stressed but again your fight-or-flight response turns on so you start producing cortisol adrenaline your heart starts racing you could be sweating you literally are feeling the sensations of anxiety so the first thing that can be helpful in the moment when you are struggling with being triggered feeling anxiety whatever it is is to understand that there is a perception that you are having about this thing that is creating a physical response in your body now we're going to talk about on the flip side as well because some people will say it starts with your nervous system and then you start perceiving things a different way but we'll whatever we'll unpack that if we need to but let's start here but what's been very helpful and beneficial to me okay to me when I am dealing with anxiety or I'm getting triggered is to first try my best okay try my best to change the perception of what it is that I am seeing in my immediate life I'll give you an example when you are realizing that somebody is pulling away from you it creates anxiety within you you start overthinking you start stressing you can't eat you're feeling a pit in your stomach you're not able to get up and and think straight and move your body and do whatever you need to do because the thing that you are thinking about aka the person pulling away you have a story going on about what this means maybe it means to you that this person doesn't like you they're walking away for good most likely this is triggering I've feeling that you once felt in childhood when somebody did leave you or did abandon you whatever it is there's a story attached to the thing that you are currently experiencing so doing your best to change the story that will be more favorable to you to help you ease your anxiety not jumping to conclusions not making assumptions talking to friends or family that can help you see the story and the situation a little bit differently being able to cultivate a new inner dialogue within your mind telling yourself it's okay that this person has distance themselves you are still going to be fine it doesn't mean X Y and Z whatever you're thinking that it means just because you've experienced this once in your life These are really good things to get better at one more thing I'm going to say about anxiety though is I have heard people say this like some of my friends and it's funny because we explore it and then we come to conclusion but some people will say I all of a sudden just have anxiety I have no idea why I'm having it right now and listen I'm not saying that it doesn't just like happen out of nowhere right because your nervous system can be so easily triggered by things that it's really not you perceiving anything to really be a threat your nervous system is so literally jacked up that it's time for you to do some management which we will talk about in a moment but it's really important for you to ask yourself the question of why is it right now that I am feeling anxiety what am I thinking or what did I just think before I started to feel this anxiety what is going on in my life did somebody just say something to me and now I'm feeling anxiety am I going through a relational issue right now am I going through a financial stress am I thinking about something that I have to do in the future and now really it's creating this anxiety within me trying your best to put your finger on why it is you are feeling this way and I just think that that it helps sometimes because when anxiety takes over your body sometimes you feel well you do feel very out of control role and I really love to be empowered and to be able to take control of my life and myself and my health and if I'm telling myself the story of I have no idea why I'm feeling anxiety right now I can't do anything about it then guess what I'm gonna be at the mercy of my anxiety and I personally believe there's so many things that you can do to combat this anxiety but if you have a story of I have no idea why and nope this is just how it's going to be then that's how it's going to be but what a crappy way to live and I really do think there's things that we can do so just being aware of what you thought about before you started feeling anxiety who said something to you what situation is happening in your life and be honest with yourself and honestly sometimes I experiment with my friends and so many times when I've had one of my close friends come to me and she's like I'm feeling so much anxiety right now I'm triggered right now and I'm like why and then she'll be like I don't know I'm just feeling like this right now like I have no idea why and truly she is convinced that she has no idea why and then we'll get in the phone and I'll be like okay well what did you just do before you told me that you were feeling anxiety um while I was sitting in my room and I was spiraling okay what were you thinking about well I was thinking about my relational issue this that the third the guy didn't text me back he said this whatever I'm like okay so you thought about the fact that your relationship issue is going down the drain right now or he's not texting you back and did you make meaning out of that thing well yeah I did I I think that he doesn't like me now because he didn't text me back or whatever we go down this whole entire rabbit hole and she's like yeah okay so I just thought myself into freaking anxiety right now so it's just sometimes helpful to really be honest and think about for a moment what is going on that I'm perceiving to be a threat right now and literally the other day I felt this wave of anxiety coming on to me and listen I know exactly why I was feeling anxiety there was about one or two things the stories the perception of the thing that I was stressing about that created the anxiety within me and I had to work on my mindset shift around that thing which really eased my anxiety but on top of that I was depleted in sleep and I had also drank alcohol the day before and I know alcohol can definitely induce anxiety and so in that moment I knew it wasn't just going to be enough for me to just like change my perception of things I needed to move my body so even though I wasn't feeling very good and I wasn't even able to sleep at that point I was like I'm going to put on a podcast get my mind right give me enough energy to get out of my bed I am gonna go to the gym and I'm gonna do 12 3 30 really I do 15 3.2 30 ish even more sometimes but whatever and I'm going to listen to the podcast and then also I played some music and I got myself going and I needed to move my body so sometimes it's simple as doing a workout not for anything other than your mental health or going to physically talk to somebody you need to have some sort of stimulus to get you out of this spiral that you are in right now it's not going to be helpful for you to just stay in the state and continue spiraling you need to be the one to get up and go talk to someone obviously you can go to therapy go talk to your friend about it release your emotions by journaling moving your body starting to fuel your body in that moment even if you don't feel like you're super hungry or whatever getting in some nutrients some water taking vitamin D can be helpful as well right in that moment so like I said it's not enough sometimes to just change the narrative and the perception that you have around a certain story because you might just be somebody who has literally been in Firefly for all your life and your nervous system is very overactive okay so really anything like somebody literally walking down the street and looking at you a certain way you might all of a sudden go into fight or flight I know for me I I've never actually said this I don't think on the podcast but I was struggling heavily with PTSD from things that I had seen in my past and I had experienced in my life and I have worked through a lot of that and that's there's many reasons why I go to a somatic therapist but one of them was to really retrain my nervous system because I would go out into the world and it wouldn't be the it wouldn't be the situation at all the same situation that I once had PTSD from but because my body still remembers that a memory and that emotion in that emotional charge that trauma it didn't even matter that it was completely different person and it was a completely different experience my body still got kicked into fight or flight and my heart started racing and I started feeling anxiety and stress even though I wasn't in that same situation that I was when I actually experienced that trauma for the first time so doing daily weekly monthly practices to retrain your nervous system so that is not so heightened all the time can definitely be helpful and when I say retrain your nervous system this is really moving from that fight or flight response that sympathetic response moving into the rest and digest the parasympathetic nervous system and this is the state that you really want to be in because that's where you're calm that's when you have energy to digest your food better that's when blood flow is going through your body that is when you have a clear mental state that is when you can breathe properly that is when your body also repairs itself so let's first talk about your environment when I was living in basically a trap house I say that lightly but it really like was it's in in general when I was living in a very stressful environment there was only so much that I could do okay so obviously it's going to depend on what the environment that you're living in but doing your best to make your environment calm and like a sanctuary for yourself okay so I couldn't control what was going on in the outside world in my home all I can control was my bedroom so I made sure to have my bedroom calm and clean at all times organized I made sure to always have candles going I made sure to have incense going I made sure to always have fresh air going opening up my blinds making my environment as calm as possible another thing that I would do is I would leave my stressful environment and this is going to be true for even if it's not your home that's very stressful you know work environments or School environments I'm not saying obviously leave your work or your school but you know maybe on your breaks instead of you staying in these stressful environments and again this doesn't need to be very toxic right it can be simply like you sitting in the cubicle for lunch when realistically you can go outside and have a freaking lunch break outside go for a walk or stop being around people who are constantly gossiping and chattering and stressing yourself or you sitting on your phone and scrolling when you could be going outside for a 10 minute walk these small or big things will make a huge difference with your nervous system if you're somebody who's complaining about why you're so stressed and it's so much anxiety and whatever you have to do these small little things to help retrain your nervous system to stay in that rest or digest again coming back to the list that I read out small things like caffeine and scrolling on your phone or listening to other people gossip will start to trigger you into fight or flight I remember also when I was a server oh my gosh was that ever a very stressful environment for me but I remember I because I knew how important it was to like call my nervous system down when I would come into the back room I would literally put my hand on my heart and like one on my stomach and I would do like three deep breaths and just be with myself for a moment throughout my shift and I would go back out and it would be super stressful but I would come back to myself and I would Breathe for a moment I would go to the washroom if I needed to and it would take a moment I would drink some water and be really tapped into my senses and this is the thing you are not always going to know that your body is in fight or flight right yes you're gonna know when you're really anxiously attached or you're you have a lot of anxiety but the subtleties of you being in fight or flight or even Fawn or freeze sometimes you don't even really know and you know when we were younger we didn't even really know but again simply you being on your phone first thing in the morning that can stress and start to produce a lot of cortisol and adrenaline and all these things and you're not really noticing but over time it will tax your body and then you have diseases and then you really are getting to the point where you're having panic attacks and you're wondering where the heck it came from it didn't happen now it happened two years ago when you first started stressing yourself out with every single thing in your life the same way that cancer happens it doesn't just you didn't just get cancer today it happened years ago it started in the body slowly producing years ago so understand that these are prevent native things to help you and of course maintenance another thing that I would do knowing when I was done my shift at work even though I was able to manage my mindset and I wasn't really stressed at work I knew physically working as a server for eight hours and constantly being around people and whatever even though I didn't let it really mentally affect me I knew my body was still physically stressed so I would come home and I would try and wind down the best that I could I would do like a 10 minute meditation I would do some breathing exercises I would listen to something that would calm my nervous system even though I was like I don't really need to technically because like I don't think that I'm stressed it doesn't matter my body is connected my body is listening and I need to make sure that I'm constantly helping it out another thing you can do is having slow morning or night routines again this is just winding your nervous system down when you've had a stressful day and like so many things are going on for me I to do a little ritual of cleaning my place that helps me lower my stress and just calm down cleaning my place putting down the lights putting away my phone just having a silent night that really helps me seem with mornings nice slow mornings also another thing can be very helpful is lessening your sensory overload so listen if you are somebody who let's say you're eating okay and you're watching TV and you're scrolling on your phone and your freaking best friend is on FaceTime with you at the same time that's too much sometimes okay so let's relax let's lessen the load even you know there's a trend going on right now silent walks go for a silent walk like once a week or you know I don't know however many walks you do at Hawkgirl walks make one of them with nothing no podcast no music no anything and feel into how that actually feels I promise you you will notice a difference in your nervous system babe that is your nervous system moving into rest and digest when you are feeling very at peace when you're doing your silent walks I promise you another thing I like to do when I go into social situations because there's a lot of nervous systems right there's a lot of people there's a lot of faces you don't know where to go there's a lot what I like to do is when I'm moving into a social situation is literally bring my attention instead of on everyone else and I know it can be hard because everyone else is there I bring my attention back onto myself for a moment by coming back to my breath looking around scanning the room I'm not letting myself just make a decision on where I should go or who I should talk to yet I'm simply just noticing I'm noticing the faces I'm noticing what people are wearing I'm noticing the sounds I'm noticing what's going on in the actual environment I'm noticing what I'm feeling I'm noticing if I'm feeling any tension usually I'll feel a lot of tension and then I'll just release it for a moment and just be with myself and then I will decide where I want to go then I'll go and talk to someone or I'll go grab a drink or I'll go whatever whatever it is that I do so really just bringing your attention back to yourself when you are in high stressful situations can be very helpful and I know it can be difficult but it's something that you need to cultivate so just thinking about your environment when you go out in the world or when you're in your home things that might be turning on your fight or flight response and ways in which you can change them just a little bit subtly to help you calm down again being in that rest or digest it helps your digestive system it helps your body your health of your body not only are you gonna feel better but you're literally going to look better you're going to Glow better we're talking about IBS and IBD and freaking health issues a lot of it is you being highly stressed you taking one supplement like a bloating supplement is not going to help you when you are constantly mentally and emotionally stressed okay so obviously another thing that's really helpful is working on your sleep habits so again you falling asleep right before bed with your phone in your hand is not helpful what I like to do especially when I'm really really triggered about things and I'm really going through it and I'm really stressed but even maintenance right is listening to either white noise or guided meditations on self-love healing and nervous system like whatever it is that I'm stressing about I can find a guide of meditation on and I fall asleep to that or even some of my favorite YouTubers or voices that really can soothe me in that moment can help as well and actually my heel to manifest guide which is a journal prompt guide that you can get if you want a link in the bio but um in that guide I have a lot of resources that I put for you to go to when it comes to Healing your nervous system and just like resetting your stressed out mind and body but you can go on the mindful movement on YouTube they have really good guided meditations night meditations morning meditations like everything really another thing that can be very helpful for you know being really highly stressed is to do movement that slows down and regulates your nervous system like Pilates yoga weight lifting that is not high intensity but it's like really just like more slow movement it's still getting your heart rate up it's not to say that it's bad to do that but really slowing things down and taking your time with movement if you find you're a highly stressed person sometimes doing hit workouts and strenuous cardio workouts might not be the best for your nervous system and your hormones especially when your adrenals are attacked because you're always in fight or flight cortisol is always shooting up adrenaline's going it's actually very important that you calm your nervous system now like I said said when you're managing anxiety sometimes you need to move the body and you need to do that high intensity workout and getting yourself moving and I think it's really good when you are trying to do more of that maintenance and preventative to have some exercise that is slowing down the body now eating habits of course eating healthy whole nutritious foods are going to help your body relax when you have highly processed foods and sugar what happens is it raises your blood sugar it literally gives you anxiety sometimes like when I have a lot of sugary Foods it gives me this huge high and then I drop down that's not good for the nervous system so eating Whole Foods healthier foods more fibrous rich foods come on we need to do this we know we need to do this also like I was saying about alcohol alcohol does definitely create a lot more anxiety AKA anxiety so if you're somebody who does consume alcohol just be aware of that definitely be aware that as well especially when you are going through hard times like for me personally if I'm ever going through a breakup or if I'm going through just a hard time in general or I'm stressed about things I actually move so and completely far away from any substance because I know that even in the moment maybe I'll feel great I can go out and have a shot with my friends it'll be fun but like three seconds later I'm gonna be in my feelings about something and the next day I'm gonna feel even worse so when you are going through hard times or you are somebody who is dealing with depression anxiety I know that a lot of the times what people do is they go to the substances because it helps them numb the pain but the pain is going to be so much worse when you do things like drink or you smoke or you do whatever it is and this is the thing when you are taking care of yourself you're eating well you're drinking water you're doing your Journal practice you're you know making sure your environment is good doesn't mean you're gonna feel a hundred percent right like you might still have that anxiety that's with you you might still be sad and that's okay but I feel like sometimes we don't do these things because we're trying to do these things to make us feel completely happy and then when they don't do that we think that they're not they're not really doing what it should be doing and it's not worth doing these things like moving your body but I don't care it is so important that you do these things even with the anxiety even with the sadness even with you carrying that emotion like go to the gym and be a sad girl okay it is better than you being a sad girl in bed I promise you other tips that can be helpful when it comes to your finances actually and your life in general is to come up with a plan that will actually reduce your stress when it comes to money because I think actually such a huge part of the reason why we are so stressed and we have a lot of anxiety and stuff and we're in fight or flight all the times is literally because money like money is so prevalent we have to think about it all the time and then when we think about the fact that we don't have money or we're financially in a rut it creates a lot of more stress on us so I think sitting down and addressing your finances coming up with a budget coming up with a plan although it can be stressful in the moment it will help ease your stress your anxiety in the long run because at least you know you have a plan like I remember when I was in debt and it stressed me the F out and I was like so scared and I just wanted to be out of that situation I knew that setting a plan was going to help me feel more at ease even though I was still in debt even though this plan I looked at it and I was like damn this is going to take a long time for me to pay off the school loan or whatever but I still felt a level of ease because I knew I was taking those steps towards the light so if you are not somebody who has an organized life uh plan in place when it comes to your finances or your work or your future or anything take some time and become that planning girly like really create a plan goals for yourself to help you feel a little a bit more at ease when we feel a lot of anxiety and stress is sometimes it's just because our life is so chaotic let's organize that one thing I want to note is for those who tend to fall more into the freeze response of procrastinating putting things off feeling stuck feeling depressed coming back to what I said about managing your anxiety in the moment it really is good to kind of have some sort of stimulus to get yourself out of this response so doing cold showers can help again changing the scene the story of the thing that you're perceiving to be either a threat or something that you can't handle or completely moving from the thing that you're telling yourself that you need to do and doing something completely different so like for me sometimes I will get in the freeze response or the freeze mode and I start to just like I don't make a decision I practice procrastinate because I have so many things on my plate that I'm telling myself that I need to accomplish and when I realize that I'm just procrastinating and I'm not doing any of the things on the list I I dropped the story of telling myself that I need to even do any of these things because me telling myself that I have to do a million projects is actually not helping my situation so let me Focus entirely on something else like to the point where I will literally say I'm not doing this work right now I'm gonna go see my friend or I'm gonna go listen to music or I'm literally gonna do something that's completely opposite of this thing I get sometimes we still need to focus on our work and we need to do things so obviously it's going to depend but seriously do the complete opposite and then what usually happens is when you go and live once you have more life force and energy within yourself you usually end up coming to certain insights or you have more energy to put towards these projects that you were once feeling stagnant in now one book that I'm going to suggest that you get if you still really want to learn more about your nervous system is called anchored how to befriend your nervous system using polyvagal Theory and polyvagal theory is a theory in which helps you understand the nervous system more and the responses that one goes through and I think it's really really helpful honestly for anyone who is dealing with any sort of trauma any sort of attachment style anxious disassociation even when it comes to health issues chronic health issues honestly everyone needs to understand about how their body physically is holding on to trauma and on top of that perceiving things outside of themselves to be a threat even when they're not so I will have that link in the show notes the description the book is by Deb Donna and I think it's very very helpful but honestly guys I think the first and most important step when it comes to dealing with anxiety healing your nervous system anything is to listen and to be with yourself in that moment when you are feeling triggered when you are feeling anxious and worried or afraid be with yourself there is a part of you that is afraid for a reason and it has a story attached to this feeling go deeper sit with yourself release the emotion stop being afraid of yourself understand when your body is literally feeling anxiety your heart is racing you have stomach issues you have health issues there is something going on that you need to look deeper within it is not a normal state of being for your body to constantly be in fight or flight it is not a normal thing for you to have digestive issues and what I do not love is the society right now honestly like everyone on social media is saying how they're trying to normalize bloating they're trying to normalize digestive issues and listen it is common that people have bloating in digestive issues but that doesn't mean it is normal that doesn't mean that it should be a normal thing it is not normal I do not care and I will say that until the end of the day because I got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis I had symptoms that resembled IBS but it was even worse it was IBD I have had chronic pain in my hands I've had thyroid issues I've had adrenal issues I've had sleep issues I've been somebody who's been anxiously attached I have gone through so many physical mental and emotional situations and it was because I went through trauma it was because my nervous system was in a state of constant fight or flight it is not normal to be unhealthy to be unwell and so I'm not gonna be here and to normalize these things what I will do is to instill some confidence and empowerment within you to realize that you can change this and you do not not have to be afraid because there are answers out there but I'm not going to say it's super normal like just take a bloating pill honestly there are so many people that I see on social media and even in real life like I don't think I've ever met anyone who especially women who have not had stomach issues or are dealing with constant bloating and constant this that and the other and realistically everyone's stressed so let's manage distress let's learn to live more in a soft life which is not what you think in terms of luxury living and spa days and so much money it is literally sitting with your inner child sitting with your emotions releasing your emotions moving into that feminine flow being in the present moment relaxing breathing taking care of yourself by eating Whole Foods nurturing Foods drinking water creating a space in an environment that is healthy that is organized that is clean these are things that your body is responding to watch the way your body changes now of course one thing I do want to say if you obviously struggle heavily with this and a lot of trauma that you still need to work through therapy can definitely help I find going to a somatic therapist can be very beneficial when it comes to this type of work because somatic therapists really address the nervous system you're not just talking talking which can be helpful in some sense to go to a talk therapist but sometimes you need to get out of the mind and move into the body my somatic therapist is available in Toronto if you're interested because I know so many of you guys ask her name is Rachel fowl and I will have her information in my description she also does virtual sessions she did tell me that as well so if you guys don't live in Toronto you could probably do that I would suggest going to a somatic therapist in person though that is my personal opinion and I just think somatically to help heal you kind of need to be around a nervous system who is also very regulated also just one more thing I just want to quickly mention this one more time boundaries with people when you and this is you have to get good at really feeling into how you feel around other people other nervous systems but if you're somebody who you feel like is constantly on around certain people or you feel very anxious or some reason you just have so much energy around somebody it's okay to set boundaries with those those people it's okay to say no to hanging out with people who clearly freaking trigger you it's okay to put your phone on DND and for you not to always be answering your phone to your friend who's constantly stressed all the time because guess what you are picking up that nervous system you are regulating constantly same thing happen when you're in childhood you're regulating towards that person that was closest to you you were codependent on that person most likely as well so lots of things that we can dive into I want you to let me know on Spotify because you can't do it on Apple what you liked about this episode if there's anything you want me to dive deeper into this episode I believe next week we're going to be talking about finances scarcity mindset the Practical and mindset shifts that we can talk about and I think understanding your nervous system and how that plays a role and you just being stressed in general can help so I hope you guys enjoyed this episode I say absolutely get that book you can also get my inner child Discovery Journal prompt guide and the heel to manifest guide those can definitely help you on this journey I hope you guys enjoyed and I'll talk to you in the next one bye