Chris Voss Lecture on Negotiation

Jul 5, 2024

Notes from Chris Voss Lecture

Introduction

  • Chris Voss: Former lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI and current CEO of The Black Swan Group.
  • Author of “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It”.
  • Currently teaches negotiation in MBA programs at USC and Georgetown University.

Lesson on Communication

Sales Challenges

  • Sales and negotiation share similarities: Selling outcomes in tough situations.
  • People react differently based on context, e.g., humor can be advantageous but should be used wisely.
  • Key lesson: “Never be so sure of what you want that you wouldn’t take something better.”
  • Neuroscience: Positive frame of mind increases intelligence by 31%. Smile to boost your mood and cognitive abilities.

Key Strategies

  1. Establish Trust and Competency Quickly:

    • First impressions are critical: 3 to 10 seconds to establish trust and competency.
    • Example from Haiti: Assess the situation quickly and gain trust by showing understanding.
    • Avoid traditional resume-trailing; instead, show you understand the other party’s situation and provide an optimistic path forward.

  2. Getting People to Say ‘No’ Instead of ‘Yes’:

    • Asking “Do you have a few minutes to talk?” creates anxiety and reluctance.
    • Flip questions to invite a ‘No’ to make people feel safe and in control, e.g., “Is now a bad time to talk?”
    • Asking for ‘No’ can lead to more productive and less defensive conversations.
    • Example: Asking if Jack Welch would come to speak, yields effective and holistic answers.

  3. Calibrated Questions:

    • Questions should be framed to get a ‘No’ and not a ‘Yes’.
    • Keeps people comfortable and lowers their defenses.
    • Use “Is it a ridiculous idea?” or “Are you against...?”
    • People are more willing to listen after saying ‘No’ as they feel protected and in control.

  4. Empathy and Active Listening:

    • Empathy isn’t sympathy; it’s a crucial tool for understanding and influencing others.
    • “Tactical Empathy” understands emotions and perspectives to steer conversations strategically.
    • Sociopaths use empathy because it works.
    • Active listening: Rephrasing and summarizing what the other person said to elicit “That’s right,” which signifies deep agreement and understanding.

  5. The Power of "That’s Right" vs. “You're Right”:

    • “That's right,” signifies genuine agreement and results in stronger bonds and outcomes.
    • “You’re right” often denotes a dismissal rather than actual agreement.
    • Example: Getting a terrorist to say “That’s right” reduced a ransom demand from $10 million to zero.

Techniques for Better Negotiation

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

  • Move away from seeking 'Yes' agreements as they create anxiety.
  • Implement 'No'-eliciting questions to build trust and enhance decision-making processes.

Neuroscience Insights

  • Positive moods and gratitude boost cognitive function and productivity.
  • Create environments conducive to positive feelings, even in adversarial negotiations.

Practical Applications

Business & Personal Scenarios

  • Using empathy and open-ended questions can transform client and colleague relationships.
  • Establishing trust quickly in high-stress negotiations can result in expedited resolutions.

Case Studies

  1. Haitian Kidnapping: Successfully negotiated the release of a 12-year-old by establishing trust and competency right away.
  2. Philippines Kidnapping: Empathy-based negotiation with a sociopathic terrorist led to the victim’s release.
  3. Pharmaceutical Sales: Tailored pitches recognizing emotional stakes and eliciting “That’s right” lead to successful sales outcomes.

Closing Thoughts

  • Preparation and successful first impressions are vital.
  • Constantly adapt by using tactical empathy and calibrated questions to steer negotiations in your favor.
  • Tactical empathy creates mutual respect and understanding, leading to more favorable outcomes.
  • Subscribe to Chris Voss’s newsletter for ongoing negotiation tips.

Note

  • Chris Voss teaches that strategic framing of questions and applying empathy can lead to optimal negotiation outcomes. Place emphasis on understanding the opponent's perspective and creating a conducive environment for collaboration and agreement.

Reminder: Use empathy and strategic communication to foster trust and steer negotiations effectively.

For further reading and continuous learning, check out Chris Voss's resources, strategies, and training programs.