hi everybody and welcome back to cheatash my name is chris and we are in the final episode with winning in mind building the self-image circle the last section of this book if you guys remember lanny has talked about building up your three circles so we went over first the conscious circle which is you uh focusing on your environment everything you can see around you all the the sights the sounds like i said the environment around you that that's the conscious circle everything you can like perceive next we talk about the subconscious circle which was your subconscious skill set the skills factory all those hours you put in on the practice field practice rounds etc building up that subconscious skill so that when you come to competition you don't have to consciously think about performing that certain skill or finally we're getting to the self-image circle how you see yourself and i've said this before in the previous episode you you guys i'm i sound like a broken record is it like you to do something it's really what it boils down to it is it like you to perform well because if it isn't chances are you're not going to perform well so you need to work on that let's kick things off here your habits determine how you act i think wasn't it aristotle who had a quote about this like success is is like about consistency you are kind of what you do we are like creatures of habit i if some something by aristotle um and landing kind of reiterates this in this chapter starting off or in this section uh your habits determine how you act so you will do things because it is consistent with your self-image like we've been saying kind of all along here so how does this work you tend to perform within a comfort zone so you have a certain level of comfort with your performance or a certain like zone that you perform in that you score in that's probably the best way to put it a certain zone a certain range of points you score in a game targets you hit in a match and based on your self-image you always stay within that range never going above or below it so delaney gives this example of bowling and he talks about how there's a bowler you know he constantly he scores okay constantly can get three strikes in a row but he's never gotten four in a row so every time he gets to three his body corrects itself harder for him to get that fourth strike right because the body is trying to keep you and i say body but it's really like yourself like your mind and body keeps you within that level of comfort three strikes because it's not like you to get the four and it's important to note that we mostly think about this sort of comfort zone in a negative way like it's hard for you to get above the comfort zone to exceed it but it also works the other way if if if you normally go out there and you shoot you know 10 under par and you go out there one day and shoot you know two over that's not like you you're gonna over correct the next round if you make the cut to then come back into that range of 10 under 10 under par or somewhere close to it your body is going to correct itself in that manner as well so lani talks about how there's bad news we've got some bad news for you performance and self-image are always equal so if you think of yourself as a good performer you're going to perform well well that's direct correlation to how you're going to actually perform so those are equal okay that's not so bad but i've got some more bad news for you that self self-image resists change i didn't say that it's permanent but it resists that change it's very difficult to change and then as if it you know as if you needed more bad news i got one more piece of bad news for you training more is not the best way to improve your self-image and actually lanny talks about how this is the surest way to get more f more frustrated so you have this self-image you want to change the first thing i think most athletes or most people do if you're not an athlete they go out there and they practice their craft just more and more and more getting more and more repetitions and sure that that could probably build up your subconscious circle that skills factory but your self-image still stays the same it's still no matter how much you practice it's still like you to be at that performance level so you're going to get frustrated that you're practicing so much and yet your results whenever you go out there to your game or competition they don't end up improving because you need to specifically work on your self-image replace your self-image with a new one and we're going to we're going to talk about that because that kind of goes with the good news is that imprinting a good performance can change your self-image so after you have a good performance it's it's as simple as just saying hey it's like me to shoot 10 under par it's like me to make three sales in one day it's like me to shoot a roll of 300 in bowling it's like me to do that and you reinforce it on yourself so it improves the chances of you having that same performance in the future laney talks about the two things here visual visual visualization and rehearsal so seeing and feeling all right because i try to do this when i meditate and i don't do this enough like i'll i'll i should be doing this more but i try to feel a certain thing i try to feel a performance or like i try to feel what it's like to do something that i want to happen in my life you know so i tend to visualize and rehearse where i see myself as as if i'm in a movie doing something okay that's that's like that's like the basic level right it's kind of like you're having an out of body experience i think the next step would be to view yourself completing a task or having a good performance from a first person view so it's like real life you see it through your own eyes and then once one step above that is first person view but you're feeling the performance you're feeling like the hairs stick up on the back of your neck after like a great shot or like the feeling of accomplishment you're feeling your nerves your muscles move the wind in your face or the light hitting your eyes you're taking it all in possibly that's your conscious your performance i think that's the best way to do it in my opinion have some quiet time and really feel it feel what it's like in whatever endeavor you're working at here see it and then feel it and then lanie also mentions the best time to rehearse is right before or right after an action so you do it right before to increase the chances that you are about to have a good shot a good role a good sales meeting etc and then when the when it goes well you reinforce it right after so what are the steps in changing a self-image well lanie highlights four things first off you must be willing to change secondly you've got to identify specifically the habits or attitudes you need to change third identify that new self image and it's going to be in direct conflict with the old one and then lastly you do an exchange you replace the old with the new so in my case i'll give you guys an example here i had a stretch where i needed to change my self-image right i came to a point in my life where i needed to change my self-image and it was based on a stretch of like two to three years where i was kind of hopping around job to job no real goals no not really making a lot of money and that was the first thing i thought of is okay i gotta change this i don't like the direction i'm going in [Music] lo and behold i find this job market software engineering developing etc and i say hey how can i get into there okay there's a coding bootcamp okay they'll teach teach you this skill set that's in demand still launch your career what what do i need to do i got to apply so i applied got in next thing you know i'm asking myself what do i need to do to succeed in this boot camp i have to work really really hard so this is me identifying specific habits attitudes i gotta work really hard this is something super new to me it's gonna be it's gonna take me a while i gotta be diligent focused i probably am not gonna be able to hang out or do jujitsu as much as i would like so i gotta i gotta really focus on this this is my future this is my career so the new self-image is me gaining the confidence in this skill set through all the practicing through all the talking with my co-workers or excuse me my my teammate my classmates gosh you know picking their brains asking them questions asking them for help i'm building up this self-image to become confident in this skill set and then i graduate i finish next you know i'm applying to jobs get a job offer i accept a job offer next you know i'm in this job for weeks months next thing you know a year's gone by and now that old self image of me doubting my skill set because i tried coding guys when i was in college and i didn't think i was that good at it i didn't think i'd ever be good at it but now i have the self image i have this new self image of what i want direct conflict with old and made the switch and i think the job being on the job for this long has kind of helped with that the important thing to remember is the self-image is your current you it's not the final you and like i said the bad news is it resists change but it doesn't impede change it's not impossible it's just gonna take a lot of work it's it's gonna be hard it's supposed to be hard so how can you go about changing your self-image or what's one way what's one of the tools that you can use to go about changing your self-image because we we did kind of give the steps there in the last slide but lanny talks about this directive affirmation all right what is a direct affirmation this is basically a paragraph written in the first person present tense describing your goal the plan the pay value from reaching the goal and the habits and attitudes affecting the goal so this is something that you write down and rehearse that helps to form a new self image for you that you're going to exchange with the old one so what is involved in this directive affirmation well they kind of said that on the on the first point but it's specifically defining a goal setting a time limit for that goal listing the personal pay value so what can you gain from completing this goal outlining a plan and then writing out the plan or writing out all of these previous bullet points beginning with i and stating the goal as if you've already obtained it this was something new to me because i've written down goals in the past but i've always said something to the effect of oh i want to be this or i want to do this but here lanny's saying no say it as if you've already been in possession of it so it's already like you to do it and i think this is an important like little distinction here it it's already like you you're already doing this it's not something that you you want because it's already you and i like i like that little shift in the wording there or shifting in how you mentally approach this so there's only going to be two possible outcomes from writing down your direct event from affirmation either you will become the person you want to be so either you're going to reach that goal or you're going to stop reading the affirmation it's really that simple one of those two things either you reach it or you don't basically you get bored with it you stop reading it or you reach it so i'm going to share with you guys this is my directive information that i wrote as you can see there this was just last month or about a month ago and it just expired a couple like a week or two ago this is in specifically kind of dealing with my line of work so i'll read this for you guys i am the best software engineer on my team i bring tremendous value to any team that i am on because i have knowledge of architecture data structures algorithms object-oriented principles and databases i am able to parlay this with my communication and people skills to help achieve tremendous software and forge new business ventures i read visualize my direct affirmation daily write down my daily goals keep track of my progress and i forgot to add this part practice my craft every single day whether that's through youtube tutorials reading materials or personal coding projects i am the best software engineer on my team and then expires march 21st 2021 so laney talks about writing this down kind of in this format and then posting this in five of the most common places that you find yourself throughout the day so you know i'm working from home so i put it in some key spots like i i put one on the door to my room i put one on the fridge one on the computer monitor and then i put another one at the front door to the apartment so the idea is every time you're in one of these places you rehearse this directive affirmation and you start to build that confidence you start to change your self-image because now you're reading this multiple times a day and you start imprinting this new self-image building up this new self-image that you're going to replace with the old one so just a question for you guys what do you guys think of this directive affirmation do you think that this is a good directive affirmation did i kind of hit all the points and i think well and let me say this to you guys too did i end up achieving this goal and i'll be honest with you guys i don't think i did but i'm i'm going to tell you this i think i got closer to it because of doing this rehearsal of this affirmation i got closer to it closer than i would have if i didn't write it i truly believe that but i did not achieve this goal and i think i got a little lazy i'll be honest with you towards the end towards when we were approaching march 21st 2021 i wasn't reading these affirmations as much during the day so i would go to a spot and i wouldn't read it you know there would be some days where i didn't necessarily work on my craft specifically i i i have an app that i'm working on i didn't really that's my personal coding project i there was days where i had blockers on it so i didn't really work on it there was days where i found myself working on stuff late in the evening with my job because i didn't devote as much time to it earlier in the day during the traditional work day so i didn't achieve this but rehearsing it daily kind of made me feel like oh i need to hold myself accountable to and i think that's where this directive affirmation helps with i held myself accountable i have like a weekly goal set i think we talked about this one episode i i wrote you guys i wrote i had a slide here of like an example weekly goal that i had i got a white board that i'm supposed to be writing down daily goals that i have currently my white board says that i need to clean my retainers this was april 1st 2021 uh which i did so i did achieve that goal for that day but there's some days where i skip and i don't write down daily goals to achieve on my whiteboard but that whiteboard was born out of this directive affirmation right and you don't want your i like i think we've talked about before you don't want your goal to be super super easy you kind of want it you want it achievable plus one like just out of reach to keep you hungry right to keep you motivated to then aft after it the deadline of when that expires on the time you allow yourself to achieve it then you make another goal where you where you surpass it and you go now one step above that so i i really like this i need to actually write a new directive affirmation for like the next one month cycle i guess you would call it and i might tweak this around a little bit more and maybe make it more specific to like the app that i'm working on or like this youtube channel etc let's talk about decisiveness what is decisiveness it's having the power to determine an outcome beyond a shadow of a doubt right you are in control you got to be decisive that's kind of the first step of changing your self-image you got to want to change and that takes decisiveness choice a conscious decision to say hey i don't like where this is going so i got to change something right so what are the primary reasons for lack of decisiveness well number one you're new to an endeavor right this happens when you're exactly like it says you're brand new at something you're brand new at something it's really really hard and you just focus on the things you're doing wrong it gets frustrating new performers often focus too much on what they're doing wrong they don't give themselves enough credit for what they're doing right all right next ill preparation is a reason for lack of decisiveness so you focus so much on a previous performance you don't really talk about all the good things you did and how you can repeat them in the next performance how you can get that consistency and lastly guys i'll be honest this plagues me so so much overly cautious i am still i call it kind of imposter syndrome i still have that i i still am so afraid to make mistakes that i try to make everything perfect and i know this and i it's gotten better it has but i still get caught up in trying to make things perfect and trying not to make mistakes versus just trying to just code and make something work and then worry about the review the code review after and i love this quote by laini perfection is the purest form of procrastination you try to make something so perfect but you end up spending so much time on it it never really truly gets done get just get it working work i've been big on this just just get it working chris if it works great doesn't have to be perfect how many golfers are perfect on a weekend tournament right it's so hard to go bogey-free you think like the last like the players championship justin thomas won it this was like a few weeks ago you think he was perfect that last 18 no he got a bogey here and there i'm sure you just gotta it's being doing doing your prep best performing at your best and performing better than your competition performing good enough to win and sometimes it doesn't take a perfect performance to win that's the god's honest truth so what do we do we got to become a promoter you got to toot your own horn nobody's going to do it for you you might as well do it so i love this story laney has this story about a cowboy and a horse so let me actually go to it uh this is on page i'm sorry guys this is on page 165. so the story goes uh there's this cowboy and he's continuously bragging about his horse and how it's of a great quality best looking best trained horse in the state and he's in a bar and he's talking about this and the bartender says i want to buy that horse and the cowboy says you know he's not really for sale sorry to say but one day the bartender just names a price that's so outrageous that the guy has to take the deal so he makes the sale next next day or two goes by and bartender comes back to the bar and he's looking for the bartender he's pissed he's saying wow this this horse is ugly it's untrained you cheated me out of my money this horse was not worth it i want my money back and the cowboy says well i just got one thing to say to you if you don't quit cutting down that horse you ain't never gonna sell them cowboy in this instance was a promoter and what does that really mean that means this is from webster's dictionary to raise or move forward to a higher or better position to further the growth of something or to work actively stirring up interest in an idea or concept and lanny talks about you gotta really promote three areas of your life and promoting is all about your self-image boosting this this is gonna help you boost your self-image promoting but it's not just about promoting yourself it's about promoting your the systems the the environment that you work in so this is can be your teammates co-workers husbands wives yes even your governing bodies the profession as a whole your industry as a whole next you gotta promote yourself nobody will think well of you if you are not willing to think well of yourself nobody else is going to promote you i mean they pro you know there'll be some some that will but you got to be your number one promoter and lastly you got to promote others promote others because if you help build up somebody else they're probably going to reciprocate on your personal journey too and you'll be able to both work together both be able to speak about each other's performances give each other chiefs you're both going to grow together it takes a team you know it's it's it's not just you even a sport like golf even a sport like tennis those guys have many coaches nutritionists hell even like a sports psychologist they have working with them there's a whole team manager agent they all have a role to play so and lanny gives a couple points here on how to promote others you want to you want it to be very personal you want to look them in the eye you want to use their name be specific it's super personal to them make it feel like you're you're just talking to them this isn't just some generic like script right and then in when you're out when you're out in public praise but in private you correct you don't want to embarrass anybody you don't want to make belittle any anybody in front of other people you know because they they get discouraged which this kind of flies in the face of all the years playing football where coaches would chew you out in front of everybody and i think there there is certainly a time and place to do that for sure for sure but i have realized from reading this book the importance of praise and promotion and lanny says it like in the next point praise twice as much as you correct you you got to keep that self-image intact you got to keep that self-image positive keep that self-image in a very growth mindset versus a fixed mindset and the last two points here never steal a dream or limit a goal and never give up on anybody so you never just because somebody's got a dream that's far-fetched or you know pretty hard to obtain who are you to tell somebody to place a limit on that now i do believe in [Music] like being realistic and being honest but never saying somebody can't do something right you know somebody like you got a friend i got a friend who really wants to be a work in professional football and i'm not the the chances of that first off are so low i mean that you're only talking about a handful of jobs for only 32 teams right but it's not impossible i'm not going to tell them no but you would approach it in a fashion to be honest with them hey this is really really hard this is what you're up against make sure you're prepared for this this is the type of lifestyle it is are you prepared for that and you kind of go about it that way and you never give up on that you don't don't sway from that don't give up on a person it's their choice that's not your choice to make so i love love these rules i i actually could be doing a better job with promoting others and i and i do i i definitely am very try to be very positive in regards to other people's goal goals and dreams and i appreciate it when other people do the same with me um [Music] it does kind of suck when somebody isn't like that it does kind of suck i i will admit it and guys the last slide of with winning in mind the principle of value this was in the final chapter that lanny talks about his the final principle of mental management is that we appreciate things in direct proportion for the up to the price we pay for them so all that work you put in on your own i'm not entirely on your own but you know because you got your team with you and everything but it's from your actions it's from your decisiveness from your sacrifice you take it way more seriously you focus way more than if somebody else is pushing you in that direction and you don't really want to do it or it's somebody else's money or it's somebody else's you know time effort going into you and you don't really want to do something nope you pay a price i'll never forget um football coach you pay a price for getting stronger pay a price for getting faster and you pay a price for staying the same guys thank you so much for listening if you listen to the end this concludes with winning in mind if you have any questions maybe i might make another video on uh goal setting and like how again like how i'm structuring out goals or like my routine for goals of for the week or daily directive affirmation etc i might do a video on that but this has been a good book this is my second time reading it i definitely the points stuck more reading it the second time i thought that was really interesting and i i first read this book at the beginning of 2020 and then to read it again at the beginning of 2021 and i definitely some of the ideas have been reinforced and i'm glad that i started to put these ideas in practice thank you guys so much let me know what you think of the video or if you have any questions comments and please like and subscribe i'm really happy our subscribers are going up thank you so much to those that have uh subscribed and we'll be back next week with the bell curve thank you so much my name is chris this has been chitash take care