my name is Ira um I'm 26 and I've been suffering for from depression since I was about 18 the first two three years were quite a blur the most common scene in my life was that I was in a room either my room in my mom's house or my dad's house or in college night day would turn to night and the room would get dark and I didn't really have the energy to turn the light on so I would just be lying there sometimes I was crying then I was blank then I was crying and I sort of swung between self-pity and numbness my depression crippled me it's not a symbolic expression i couldn't get out of bed my body wouldn't carry me i was afraid to go out meet people do things because I didn't know when my energy would run out and when it would feel like now I had to get horizontal my mind also didn't work very well i couldn't plan curate problem solve when I wasn't in the thick of my depressive episode I was overwhelmed by the fear of it i wondered what other people like me must be doing alone in our rooms in the dark left to die because I can't explain and even if I found the words I don't really have the energy and you may love me but if you don't understand then you won't believe and then you can't help as I navigated my journey my personal journey as well as my professional journey through mental health it was as though I had had blinkers on that now suddenly came off everywhere I looked I was seeing people struggle from distress to disorder disability depression addiction loneliness so much loneliness um social media and the digital place space is also scary hate manipulation bullying even when it came to seeking for help there was unhelpful and actually harmful professionals the gaps in the education system and the regulation processes they were a lot of dreadinducing things but then there were times where I would bang my hands on the table and be like it doesn't have to be like this first I was like I'm being naive then I would learn something and then I would rebang my hands on the table and say "See it didn't have to be like this." What I meant was what I went through didn't have to be like this there were things that could have been taught to me my friends my family that would have greatly affected the way in which I experienced my depression either the intensity um the way that I was supported my peers didn't have to have those harmful experiences we as a people have learned how to regulate our emotions build resilience improve communication skills and build objectively healthier habits i'm not saying we know everything but there's a lot we do know based on science born from years of research and evidence initially the plan was that I would work towards bridging the gap between professionals and people then I found out that researchers have been doing research on how nobody is using their research depending on the discipline it takes up to 17 years for research findings to reach clinical practice when is it reaching the education system then when is it reaching the industry within which it can have impact when is it reaching me so I decided dissemination is my aim dissemination means I learn something and I communicate that but in a way that is accessible to you so apart from the language I also have to tell you how to use this learning and then create ways for you to apply this learning in your life this enables you to live your life the way you want to because you have information and you know how to use it or not use it it's up to you you're empowered what I want to tell you is that as an individual person with limited control over systemic factors there are things that you can do to make your life better whatever that means for you I have some learnings which have played an important role in my own mental health journey that I would like to disseminate i call it emotional hygiene the first time I heard the word it was from a TED talk by Guy Winch given in 2015 we have known this since 2015 today I will share my version with you there are six components it's called hygiene because you're supposed to do it irrespective of whether you're feeling good or bad it's for growth maintenance and then also care and it's for your mind which is your brain and your body first it starts with self-awareness because if you don't know there's not much you can do remember those memes on the Instagram on Instagram about being hangry the idea that you're irritated and cranky because your boyfriend is being annoying but actually you're just hungry and then you eat something and then you're fine your boyfriend is still doing the same thing but it's not irritating anymore many times I'm sitting around I'm not feeling good i don't know why i ordered a tub of ice cream I eat it but I don't feel much better in fact I feel worse because I was not feeling good i tried to do something it didn't make me feel better and now I don't really feel very much in control i actually missed my mom and I wanted a hug if I can eat the ice cream but if I wanted a hug from my mom or a kiss from Bo or a challenge in my life or I needed to go to the gym to just move the ice cream is not going to help if we are able to appropriately meet our needs we'll feel more in control of our lives so how do you identify the need think about self-awareness as a verb it's not something to achieve it's something to do when you're on a busy chaotic street please don't be self-aware focus on the cars and on staying alive when you turn your focus inwards onto yourself you're practicing self-awareness am I thirsty am I tired am I scared lonely defensive happy you have to allow yourself to feel all your feelings ugly feelings like jealousy and anger shameful feelings like lust selfish feelings like happiness you'll slowly get better at listening to yourself the more you practice physically tracking things down can also help you stay objective and accurately get a reading but takes lots of time to build self-awareness so until you get there here's a helpful tip if you get rejected dismissed you feel um betrayed or you fail at anything just any of these to any degree assume you have an emotional injury maybe one but you have one i'm not saying roll over and play victim i'm saying account for it put a bomb on it and move on how do I do that if my self-confidence has been hurt um I don't get a response on a job application I send in a proposal and comes back with lots of mistakes don't beat yourself up first do something that'll bolster your self-confidence and then go back to fixing whatever you want to do doing 10 push-ups makes me feel better about my overall existence talking to someone who's happy to praise me and give me a pep talk reminds me that I'm not crap as like an entire human being different degrees of injury to my self-confidence require different remedies so until you start getting better at being able to listen to yourself and feel your feelings assume that you have an emotional injury and account for it you have to take care of yourself you can gain all the self-awareness but if you don't act on it in a way that is caring and compassionate you may not be able to help your emotional state much imagine you have a child to take care of this child has played outside all day it doesn't matter if you don't change its clothes before it goes to bed you're feeling a little tired they don't need dinner tonight they won't die they won't even fall sick the world won't stop no no you'll make sure they change you won't let them miss a meal you'll brush the knots out of their hair every day you won't close your eyes and pick up the first thing you see in the cupboard and make them wear it because wearing something nice will bring a smile to their face acknowledging the effort they put into drawing a painting for you will make them feel appreciated making room for their feelings even the small ones will make them feel supported be a responsible adult well that means putting effort into your survival but also your joy and enrichment it matters the living feeling breathing being that you're supposed to take care of and love is you why be positive evolutionarily and biologically our brains are wired to notice the negative this is not a good thing or a bad thing this is helpful for survival because to fend off danger you have to notice it actively if there's a potential threat your mind will first turn in that direction there's a smoking building or a loud bang you'll turn you'll realize it's too far away to hurt you it's a firecracker and then you go back to your daily life with the amount of uncertainty and stimulus and metaphysical threat right now one could say that it's easy to get into the habit of only noticing the negative don't think of this as good or bad use this knowledge to realize your primitive brain is doing the thing it needs to in this changing world and your prefrontal cortex and other frontal networks are also working alongside they can help you more intentionally bring attention to the happy the safe the positive when the Rikavala says yes do a little dance and when you're eating Anisha's paratha from Churantine take few extra seconds to savor it you might realize that your day week month life has not been all that bad perspective can change your mood which can change your thoughts and your behaviors if you don't have access to medication and therapy feeling a sense of belonging and connectedness can take you a long way and even if you're okay it's still important i'm not going to convince you about that part i have spoken to so many people who have said "I don't have any friends i don't have anyone to talk to i'm sorry there's no way around it if you think you don't have any friends go out there and make some if you think you aren't very close to your family you don't have many close people you have to go out there and work on those connections because the truth is we all want friends and connection everybody likes Instagram likes everybody wants love and attention and we're all just afraid of rejection so how there are many things to consider but in the interest of time let's talk about one of the most effective aspects of connection vulnerability being vulnerable is the most suresh shot way of building connection because you're honest and you're open so if someone connects with you in that moment it will lead to the strongest subjective feeling of connectedness showing up for a capara class for the first time is being vulnerable you're in a room with new people doing a movement you've never done before you can look stupid you can make a mistake go ahead turn to the person next to you and say "I actually don't know what capera is." That is also being vulnerable uh I rewrote the whole uh Anish Paratha thing three times because four different people told me "No it's a thing no it's not a thing yes it's a thing." I was just trying to be relatable to you all i've actually never been vulnerability isn't about sharing your deepest darkest secret with someone if I don't tell you that I'm tired sad happy or lesbian you're not going to know i'm going to feel disconnected from you because you don't really know me and even if you love me and you've known me for years if I lie to myself or hide myself from someone you're not going to feel a sense of belonging and connectedness to yourself or anyone else are you actually living your life i was talking to my therapist about uh painting or something and she said "Art is in the doing." And it hit me life is in the doing there's constant input all the time we live in a world where our minds and bodies are continuously absorbing eating food watching a movie reading a book scrolling through Instagram even listening to this TED talk so we need to focus more on output watching a movie is input chatting about that movie or writing a review is output all forms of art cooking moving your body journaling playing with your pet anything where you are actively using your mind and body is a form of output make a list of everything you do in a day see how many of those things are input how many of those things are output and notice how you feel when there's more output ask for help there are there's often shame and fear when it comes to seeking help for your mental health but we ask for help all the time we have tution teachers carpenters lawyers editors you always ask the printer dada for help you go to the professional who's trained to do the task it's perfectly normal so if you need help with your mental health go to a mental health professional i read a post on Instagram the longer you stay on the wrong train the more expensive it is to reach home you want to stay strong for your family for that first you have to be well there's six components that broadly cover everything that has been helpful and meaningful for me but I can't tell you what exactly fits in your life neither can Instagram or your life coach or your therapist this dissemination is meant to provide you with a framework that you can make your own you have to make it your own and the last key ingredient without which this framework will not work and if I have lost you and you are falling asleep come back to me for this one moment if the the one key ingredient to this framework is sincerity don't take this seriously there'll be a gust of energy that'll fizzle out and that's usually unhelpful you need to take this sincerely bit by bit on good days on bad days on okay days you celebrate your win even on good days you do selfcare even on good days and you reach out and connect with people even on good days proactive sincere integration even if you pick only one component do it sincerely if you or your loved one has ever been where I was it doesn't have to be this way there are systems that are bigger than us that will take time to change they may or may not be empowering us but I want you to know that there's so much knowledge out there mental health a balanced content life they don't have to be an exclusive luxury empower yourself proactively for a better today and tomorrow and let sincerity be your guiding principle thank you