Central Idea: Our choices, particularly how we handle cravings, are crucial.
Willingness: Defined as allowing cravings to come and go without acting on them (not the same as willpower).
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
What Is Willingness?: Dropping the struggle with cravings, opening up to them, and making peace with them.
Personal Skepticism: Speaker was initially skeptical but changed views after attending a workshop at the University of Washington.
Applications: Used for anxiety disorders, addictions, even employee performance and stress relief in companies.
Traditional Approaches vs. Willingness
Traditional Method: Avoiding cravings, distracting oneself from thoughts of smoking or unhealthy eating.
Futility of Avoidance: Example of cookies illustrating how trying to turn off cravings intensifies them.
Research and Data
Clinical Trials: Conducted at Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center.
Technologies include: face-to-face interventions, telephone hotlines, websites, and apps.
Outcomes: Willingness approach led to twice as many people quitting smoking compared to avoidance.
Case Study: Jane
Background: 45-year-old, long-time smoker, previously unsuccessful in quitting.
Initial Exercise: Track cravings in a journal to raise awareness.
Insight: Cravings were always present, but Jane was on autopilot.
Exercise: Implementing the phrase 'I am having the thought' and 'I am noticing I am having the thought' to create space between the person and their cravings.
Secret to Self-Control
Drop the Rope: Stop the tug-of-war with cravings, allow them to occupy space, and they may diminish over time.
Final Advice: Be aware of cravings and bring kindness to oneself when making choices, particularly during challenging moments such as choosing food at lunch.
Conclusion
Key Takeaway: The secret to self-control is to give up the struggle for control and practice willingness.