Hello. This is 6 Minute English from BBC
Learning English. I'm Neil. And I'm Beth. You may have one,
or know someone who does, and at one time
you've been one yourself. I'm talking about toddlers. A toddler is a young child, usually
between two and four years old, who is learning to walk or 'toddling'. It's an important stage
in a child's development as they learn to move
and understand the world around them. It's also known
as the 'terrible twos'. When toddlers can't do the things
they want to, they experience frustration, which
often leads to tantrums – a sudden and noisy outburst of anger. We've probably all seen the tears and screams when a young child
can't have what they want. Yes, the famous temper tantrums. But being a toddler is also
an exciting time as a child's personality starts
to develop. So, what can we adults learn
from toddlers? That's what we'll be finding out
in this programme, along with
some useful new vocabulary. But first
I have a question for you, Beth. Being a toddler is certainly an
important stage in a child's growth, but which of
the following statements is true? A. Toddlers are attracted to shapes
that resemble the human body B. Toddlers are more active
than at any other time in their lives, or C. Toddlers can grow up to three
centimetres during sleep time. Um. I think toddlers can grow up to three centimetres while they sleep.
OK, Beth. We'll find out if that is the correct
answer later in the programme. At two or three years old, there's not
much toddlers can do for themselves. They depend on mum or dad to feed,
clothe and care for them. So, it is strange to think
there's anything adults could learn. But not according
to Dr Hasan Merali, author of a new book 'Sleep Well, Take Risks, Squish the Peas’ and father
to his own toddler, who spoke with BBC Radio 4 programme, Woman's Hour. When I see the toddlers
by themselves, they are doing a lot
of things out loud. Little Julie's putting on her
mitts and saying, “Julie can do it”. And Coltan’s
over in the side, and he's looking down at his boots, and they're
on the wrong way, and so he says “Oh,
Coltan did this wrong!” And this idea of self-talk is really a way to decrease stress in
anxiety-provoking situations. Dr Merali observed
toddlers talking to themselves out loud.
When you talk out loud, you speak so
that other people can hear you, But it's what the toddlers
were saying that's really interesting. When a little girl called Julie
learned how to put on her gloves, she told herself,
'Julie, can do it!' This is a special kind of talking out
loud, known as self-talk. Self-talk means the messages
that you tell yourself, and the way in which you tell them. It's your inner voice,
and in toddlers it's usually positive
and encouraging. Unfortunately, as we grow up, our
self-talk often becomes less encouraging and more critical. Instead of a positive,
loving inner voice, as adults we tend to tell ourselves: ‘You can’t do it!’ or
‘you’re no good!’ Here’s Dr Merali again, explaining more to BBC Radio 4 programme,
Woman’s Hour: We often get into the
cycle of negative self-talk, and I think one
of the best strategies that we can do is give ourselves more positive
self-talk, so an easy way to do it is when you're down on yourself,
and angry with yourself, think about talking to yourself as
a good friend instead of actually you, and you'll notice that difference in how you talk to yourself.
As an adult, you might be down on yourself. If you're down on yourself, you feel disappointed
and self-critical about yourself. When this happens,
your self-talk gets very negative, for example,
telling yourself you're no good,
and this can lead to a negative cycle, a pattern of repeating the same
negative thoughts over and over again. It can be a problem, but not
for toddlers who are naturally good at talking kindly to themselves
and celebrating the little things, like learning to get dressed.
The solution for over-critical grown-ups?
According to Dr Merali, pretend you're talking to
a good friend instead of to yourself, just like toddlers do!
It seems us adults can learn something
from young children after all – being kind to ourselves.
When they're not having tantrums, toddlers really
are wonderful little creatures, which reminds me of
your question, Neil. Right, I asked you which statement
about toddlers was true. And I said it was that toddlers
can grow up to three centimetres while they sleep...
Was I right? I think you know that you're not right,
Beth! That was the wrong answer. It's true that
toddlers do grow when sleeping, but not as
much as three centimetres. In fact, the correct answer was that being
a toddler is the most active period of your whole life, which isn't hard
to believe if you live with one. OK, let's recap the vocabulary we've learned in this programme
about toddlers, young children who are 'toddling' or
learning to walk. A tantrum is a noisy, uncontrolled outburst
of anger, usually from a young child. If you say something out loud, you say it in a way that
other people can hear. Self-talk refers to the messages
that you tell yourself, and the way in which you tell them. It's your inner voice. The phrase to be down on yourself
means to feel disappointed and self-critical about yourself. And finally,
a negative cycle is a pattern of repeating the same negative
thoughts over and over again, something a toddler would never do! Once again our
six minutes are up, but remember
to join us again next time for more trending topics and useful
vocabulary here at 6 Minute English. Goodbye for now. Goodbye!