miss Brill by Katherine Mansfield narrated by Harry Dobie although it was so brilliantly fine the blue sky powdered with gold and great spots of light like white wine splashed over the jardin public miss Brill was glad that she had decided on her fur the air was motionless but when you opened your mouth there was just a faint chill like a chill from a glass of iced water before you sip and now and again a leaf came drifting from nowhere from the sky miss Brill put up her hand and touched her fur dear little thing it was nice to feel it again she had taken it out of its box that afternoon shaking out the moth powder giving it a good brush and rubbed the life back into the dim little eyes what has been happening to me said the sad little eyes and all how sweet it was to see them snap at her again from the red eiderdown but the nose which was of some black composition wasn't at all firm it must have had a knock somehow never mind a little dab of black sealing wax when the time came when it was absolutely necessary little rogue yes she really felt like that about it little rogue biting its tail just by her left ear she could have taken it off and laid it on her lap and stroked it she felt a tingling in her hands and arms but that came from walking she supposed and when she breathed something light and sad no not sad exactly something gentle seemed to move in her bosom there were a number of people out this afternoon far more than last Sunday and the band sounded louder and gayer that was because the season had begun for although the band played all the year round on Sundays out of season it was never the same it was like someone playing with only the family to listen it didn't care how it played if there weren't any strangers present wasn't the conductor wearing a new coat too she was sure it was new he scraped with his foot and flapped his arms like a rooster about to crow and the band's Minh sitting in the green rotunda blew out their cheeks and glared at the music now there came a little flute a bit very pretty a little chain of bright drops she was sure it would be repeated it was she lifted her head and smiled only two people shared her special seat a fine old man in a red velvet coat his hands clasped over a huge carved walking stick and a big old woman sitting upright with a roll of knitting on her embroidered apron they did not speak this was rather disappointing for miss brill always look forward to the conversation she'd become really quite expert she thought but listening as though she didn't listen it's sitting in other people's lives just for a minute while they talked around her she glanced sideways at the old couple perhaps they would go soon last Sunday two hadn't been as interesting as usual in Englishmen and his wife he wearing a dreadful Panama hat and she button boots and she'd gone on the whole time about how she ought to wear spectacles she knew she needed them but there was no good getting any they'd be sure to break and they'd never keep on and he'd been so patient he'd suggested everything gold rims the kind that curved around your ears little pads inside the bridge no nothing would please her they'll always be sliding down my nose miss Brill had wanted to shake her the old people sat on the bench still as statues never mind there was always the crowd to watch to and fro in front of the flowerbeds in the band right under the couples and groups paraded stopped a talk to greet to buy a handful of flowers from the old beggar who had his tray fixed to the railings little children ran among them swooping and laughing little boys with big white silk bows and their chins little girls little French dolls dressed up in velvet in lace and sometimes a tiny stagger Akay muddin li rockin into the open from under the trees stopped stared a suddenly sat down flop until its small high-stepping mother like a young hen rushed scolding to its rescue other people sat on the benches and green chairs but they were nearly always the same some day after Sunday and miss brill had often noticed there was something funny about nearly all of them they were odd silent nearly all old and from the way they stared they looked as though they just come from dark little rooms or even even cupboards behind the Rotonda the slender trees with yellow leaves down drooping and through them just a line of sea and beyond the blue sky with gold veined clouds thump-thump-thump to lumped in lump humped it liam tumped are blue the band two young girls in red came by and two young soldiers in blue met them and they laughed and paired and went off arm in arm two peasant women with funny straw hats past gravely leading beautiful smoke colored donkeys a cold pale none hurried by a beautiful woman came along and dropped her bunch of violets and a little boy ran after to hand them to her and she took them threw them away as if they'd been poisoned dear me miss Brill didn't know whether to admire that or not and now an ermine toque and a gentleman in gray net just in front of her he was tall stiff dignified and she was wearing the ermine toque she'd bought when her hair was yellow now everything her hair her face even her eyes was the same color as the shabby airman and her hand and it's cleaned love lifted to dab her lips was a tiny yellowish poor oh she was so pleased to see him delighted she rather thought they were going to meet that afternoon she described where she'd been everywhere here bear along by the sea the day was so charming didn't he agree and wouldn't he perhaps but he shook his head lighted a cigarette slowly breezed a great deep puff into her face and even while she was still talking and laughing flicked the match away and walked on Yurman toke was alone she smiled more brightly than ever but even the band seemed to know what she was feeling and played more softly played tenderly and the drum beat the brute the brute over and over what would she do what was going to happen now but as Miss brill wondered the Eman toke turned raised her hand as though she'd seen someone else much nicer just over there and patted away and the band changed again and played more quickly more gaily than ever and the old couple on miss brill seat got up and marched away and such a funny old man with long whiskers hobbled along in time to the music and was nearly knocked over by four girls walking abreast oh how fascinating it was how she enjoyed it how she loved sitting here watching it all it was like a play it was exactly like a play who could believe the sky at the back wasn't painted but it wasn't till a little brown dog trotted on solemn and then slowly trotted off like a little theatre dog a little dog that had been drugged the miss brill discovered what it was that made it so exciting they were all on the stage they weren't only the audience not only looking on they were acting even she had a part and came every Sunday no doubt somebody would have noticed if she hadn't been there she was part of the performance after all how strange she'd never thought of it like that before and yet it explained where she had made such a point as starting from home at just the same time each week so it was not to be late for the performance and it also explained why she had quite a queer shy feeling at telling her English pupils how she spent her Sunday afternoons no wonder miss brill nearly laughed out loud she was on the stage she thought of the old invalid gentleman to whom she read the newspaper four afternoons a week while he slept in the garden she had got quite used to the frail head on the cotton pillow the hollowed eyes the open mouth and the high pinched nose if he'd been dead she might not have noticed for weeks she wouldn't have minded but suddenly he knew he was having the paper read to him by an actress an actress the old head lifted two points of light quivered in the old eyes an actress ie a miss brill smoothed the newspaper as though or the manuscript of her part and said gently yes I have been an actress for a long time the band had been having a rest now they started again and what they played was warm sunny yet there was just a faint chill or something what was it not sadness no not sadness a something that made you want to sing the tune lifted lifted the lights on and it seemed to miss brill that in another moment all of them all the whole company would begin singing the young ones the laughing ones who were moving together they would begin and the men's voices very resolute and brave would join them and then she - she - and the others on the benches they would come in with a kind of accompaniment something low that scarcely rose or fell something so beautiful moving and miss brillz eyes filled with tears and she looked smiling at all the other members of the company yes we understand we understand she thought though what they understood she didn't know just at that moment a boy and girl came and sat down where the old couple had been they were beautifully dressed they were in love the hero in heroine of course just arrived from his father's yacht and still found ously singing still with that trembling smile miss Brill prepared to listen no not now said the girl not here I can't but why because that stupid old thing at the end there asked the boy why does she come here at all who wants her why doesn't she keep her silly old mullet home it's her fur which is so funny giggled the girl it's exactly like a fried whiting not be off with you said the boy in an angry whisper then tell me ma pity sure no not here said the girl not yet on her way home she usually bought a slice of honey cake at the baker's it was her Sunday treat sometimes there was an almond in her slice sometimes not it made a great difference if there was an almond it was like carrying home a tiny present a surprise something that might very well not have been there she hurried on the almond sundaes and struck the match for the kettle in quite a dashing way but today she passed the Baker's by climb the stairs went into the little dark room her room like a cupboard and sat down on the red Ida down she sat there for a long time the box that the fir came out off was on the bed she unclasped the neck looked quickly quickly without looking laid it inside but when she put the lid on she thought she heard something cry