8 6954 n oh syney Australia calling H Harry u unle t Tommy C Charlie slowly please Charli H Harry e Edward n Nelly C Charlie yes hin yes Michael hin Michael hin go ahead hello hello Michael good morning good morning [Music] leave the whole life please the life please [Applause] [Music] don't ask [Music] me watch you know it's true don't have to tell you I love your [Music] precious I was standing you are there to us collided and they can never tear us apart [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] the amount of experience that we go through and doing what we do is many lifetimes problem is holding on to a fixed point for long enough to understand it that's a difficult partc [Music] what is your biggest fear in [Music] life I think to be to be without at least one love in your life someone to take to love you to be lonely I think must going be [Music] terrible are you in love [Music] now I always remember sitting on the floor in Andrew's bedroom saying Mr FIS I'm determined to play something which brought Roars of laughter because it was apparent he couldn't and shouldn't bother with an [Music] instrument got into a fight at school it's walking around like little English Pratt from Hong Kong going where's my class what's going on here what's got picked on on a fight and Andrew came over and pulled me out Andrew sucked me into playing music I'm sorry you just have to give all these get some Charisma out to people yeah and that of course was the beginning of the famous six Timothy Andrew Jonathan Kirk pilly Gary beers hello Michael Michael was not a happy lad he did not have a happy background he used to spend a lot of time at our house he was never in any hurry to go home I'll simply leave it at that I was just used to watch them and hang out with them and it was it was fun you know Andrew gave me a microphone and said do you want to sing for a while cuz I'm trying to these drummers and that was the beginning of the end hey Simon where are [Music] you Michael would show me lyrics that he' been working on and I said these are great what's your inspiration he said oh I've had some times I've really had to question things and so I read books Herman HK and Arthur and car G the prophet there was something different in the way he looked at things the way he was able to articulate it I knew he was someone really interesting I usually can only write about what um seems to apply to myself or my surroundings or my friends or whatever so um it must be that way I must have I'll have to explain it that [Music] way I used to hang out with Ananda she was a poet very young poet kind of advanced for a years really she got me into all this beat scene SP Andy and Ginsburg The Power of Words became a parent to me on that night I was in full slave get up with all the leather crisscrosses hardly anything on at all except for a collar and a lead I was with my boyfriend of the time then I met Michael and sometime very soon after that I was just with Michael he turned out to be a very sweet natured person he didn't have a lot of rules he just wanted to be happy there's no aphrodesiac like being listened to sincerely he had a genuine Artistry an artist's eye and Sensibility about the world and himself we read books together and we used to listen to lyrics together and work out what they meant Oscar wild Charles pakowski and Dy and Thomas under milk wood I remember him reading The Picture of Dorian Gray and he really l that image of there being a picture somewhere where all your evil and bad living shows up and you remain youthful and [Music] sweet Michael used to say that he didn't know what love was so I would go I love you and he would go I don't know what love is during that time men in suits kept turning up band management they seem to have lots of plans for these young men I go down the Stage Door Tavern this little band comes on stage next this quirky little skinny guy came on and I was like hm so I went backstage and introduced myself to him I said okay guys this thing about management I'll only do it on the basis that we do it internationally Michael's hand went up like a school kid and goes yes I'm in so I said okay but it's going to be very serious I'm going to work you guys at dogs played and played and played and played everywhere hundreds of shows a year until record companies had to sign us cuz we had such a big audience when are you touring we're at touring right now this Monday we start and we take off for about uh two three weeks everywhere and it was five six shows a week Melbourne on a Saturday back to do a Sydney show on Sunday two shows on a Sunday a lot of traveling a lot of driving up and down Michael was just one of the guys one big happy family Michael always just had that aura about him the other Five Guys felt that as well he always had star qualities it was just a matter of getting that to the world when Michael began to realize and get the confidence that he could sing things he believed in that's when it all really started to happen for us he really wanted to be a real artist of some kind working towards a lifelong body of work he was working very practically towards becoming famous I didn't know how profoundly meaningful it was to him his desire for fame really fell into context for me when I I met his [Music] mom my parents used to have some good parties occasionally and play a lot of song music and that kind of stuff always there' be this period of the night when they would put on this record by Serge gball called [Music] jatm that would be the signal for the kids to go so we just no not this song we had no idea really what it meant but I do remember it being a very evocative atmosphere and the sexuality of it being very strong impressed me that a piece of music could have such an impact on a room [Music] my sister who's a bit older she's a Gaga dancer she used to rehearse with her girlfriends in the house I liked rehearsals a lot of Motown stuff everything a lot of music Supremes Dion Diana Ross James Brown was always had a soft spot for the Beatles especially John lennen the bgs doing lonely days Lonely Nights electric War cuz I just love M bowling Ruth Franklin's voice singing respect they got me into [Music] singing ladies and gentlemen welcome to Hong Kong the local time is 518 p.m. on is a real wander like me and he's been all over the place we just moved to Hong Kong he was a manager of the Gandy price which imported all the mer Shandon that's why we had so many parties we lived in the Hong Kong Hilton for the first two months the boys thought that was just our house theyd jump in the lifts they knew how to push those buttons and they'd go up and down mother and I would be up and down trying to find them all sorts of friends from Little Children of very wealthy parents to just hanging out in the streets with Chinese kids down the markets and stuff like that learned a lot I was managing a children's wear Department we needed a little fashion show so naturally I grabbed the boys Michael was probably 9 or 10 the day of R just got out there and he's making faces Michael's not so sure about this he's looking and then sort of pushed him on there and all of a sudden he walked out and he did see the people his face changed he got into it he started really enjoying himself turned around he's winking at me which surprised me because he was a shy kid Michael's report cards always said things like Michael is a dreamer Michael doesn't concentrate you Michael won't get anywhere if he keeps this up he was a dreamer we didn't know what he was dreaming about when he said he was going to sing with this band that just surprised the heck out of me here's this kid who didn't want to walk into a room full of people let alone [Music] sing it was just a presence something behind me someone staring and I didn't know who he was I didn't look he was really shy but he did make a point of walking up and asking if I was leaving I didn't think too much more about it until I met him again he just eyeballed me when he focuses on you it's hard to ignore it draws you in and draws things out I'd never experienced anything like that he was just very very different from anyone I'd met it sweat me off my food I fell asleep he came across as a little bit pretentious because he started to spout satra and Kimu and existentialism I think he thought it was pretty impressive I think it'd be really boring if we stay here yeah I just contemplate over contemplating philosophers know I got a really old 1919 citr which I drove from Melbourne to Sydney and it was great it was wonderful it's the best car I've ever driven in my life hi Michelle I just put all my things in this car that wasn't registered I didn't know he didn't have my license and we moved to this house in Paddington Michelle walked through the tour and it was this drop dead gorgeous young girl Melle Melle immediately very warm and funny and I loved her right from the first moment they were like two peas in a pod the wild hair and the big smiles that was true love to me hello this is Michael World Life documentary over here we have what's prob known as London Bridge he was a Drifter I don't remember him ever having a stack of Records or a record player or anything he sort of came one night into Michelle's room and there were always clothes strewn around the floor and that was Michael you just knew knew he deeply loved her he knew he was in a of her and he really felt he had a little family in that house to be loved and to be cared about and supported and we did he loved Christmases and he needed his own little tribe around him he didn't want to go on tour at different times he just wanted to stay in the house with us because it was a load of fun just [ __ ] at the party once he was nilly in tears going away and saying I just want to stay here with you guys see you bye oh yes let me heal you f now hello we're in excess from Sydney the audiences were suddenly out there knew the words and we were getting some great reactions surprising [Applause] reactions do way he was really like a rockar waiting to happen they just needed to have the hit records I mean he was the complete package which is a really strange thing to come across very strange at that point it was just unrelenting touring arriving in one city soundcheck playing driving through the night to the next place you'd never stay in any place long enough to experience a city or its culture and I just loathed it yeah sh where are we Francisco with flowers like being aart he didn't like being apart from his friends either he wanted you to be with him he did not like to be alone he needed to feel like he belonged somewhere and I think that was part of the reason why inexcess was a family to him hi Michelle this is us in London see you very soon miss you very much he loved coming home to the house he really missed it she was her own person and she didn't take the [ __ ] and very easily could see through people someone who wasn't genuine and she had no problems about showing my Michelle we're going home Michael did St that about what you can't have an ice cream sick of you asking all the time Michelle you filming honey like the view it's nice huh so glad we came out here time to flagging and watch countown let's go to the US top five for this week and look at number five what you need in EXT us congratul what do you need Chris came into a show in Tokyo and he came backstage and he said that was the best gig I ever seen in my life we thought this guy's pretty enthusiastic we decided to go in the studio and see what could happen Andrew bought in this demo of this riff and I thought wow I thought James Brown everybody's going to dance to it and we started it the next day and on the Friday night I took a rough mix to benn's I asked them to pop this on and it had an immediate physical effect on everybody in there and I thought yep I think we've cracked [Music] it radi it was incredible you suddenly get this feeling that people know who you are and you really exist in their lives in their minds and they really are enjoying you they're enjoying your music and it's a great feeling and it really ures you [Music] on beautiful time see in Australia he was always the first person to arrive at the studio he was really watching everything he was the one who had a real idea of where things should go he really did have an instinct for the whole thing I was learning stuff from him he wrote most of the top lines to those songs the actual tune that the singer sings he wasn't just writing words he was writing melodies with the S crying just pick it up what do you [Music] say Michael off stage was as far removed as a rock star as was possible he's one of the loveliest people I've ever met without any question of a doubt from Australia he had such a presence about him he could look you in the eye and make you feel like you're the only person in the room and he could do it if if you're a male or a female he could do it to kids he could do it to animals he just had that way about him I actually can't see more than about 10 foot I got my once and I was actually blind I thought he really saw like that and I got contact lenses and I was like Wow trees have leaves from 100 foot then I did a concert and um terrified me I haven't seen an audience for good 10 years it's my secret if I see that [ __ ] audience out there I [ __ ] run Andrew Faris on keyboards I don't think Michael was a particularly good singer when we first started he was just a good guy he was my friend that he developed unbelievable exponentially as a talent as a person on stage and as a singer Michael became a really good singer an amazing singer I don't even know how to describe [Applause] [Music] it help baby child it really bothers me that he didn't really understand just how great a voice he had you want me again it had this fragility just underneath the bravado he just sang with such passion and such incredible personality it just became an incredible sing a really incredible sing that's all right oh that's all right oh we've never changed the key in our life I mean Michael's saying anything that we wrote with a full voice with a low voice night after night week after week it never missed a [Music] be I remember asking Michael what his definition of rock and roll was he said liberation in a time I in a time I he always wanted to be stimulated in terms of music and art he was motivated more by getting creative satisfaction out of what he was doing and making his mark this isn't what you think it is we would do that we spend mind numbing hours talking to Michael about theater art literature painting all the pretentious and Obby stuff that we kind of got into and there was certainly a plethora of things that would seem to be much more interesting than pop music I'm reading Liz f cockta o it's really good is it you're reading it in the French French version I'm sorry you you were just showing off giving me the French Title Here Yeah just showing off so you you um I no I'm not intellectual I know some intellectuals that's why I know I'm not an intellect he had some spirit that made his Persona an extension of how he was the person that you saw as a performer had the same generosity of spirit that he had as a human being Michael told me around that time that he felt that Michelle was too good for him that she held him too tight a moral line here we go oh God it's the S is he heavy or what we don't [Music] know it's F we broke up got back together broke up got back together and then there's one time where he said no no this is a time it's going to work that's when I said you must spend some time on your own and just think about what you want because I don't believe this is what you want the whole thing was a disaster and I remember him just ringing me up and just saying you've made me do this this and it's just the worst idea and when he came back to Sydney it was torturous we were just coming at things from completely different directions and it was not working Michael ripped the bandaid off he called it and it was very hurtful but it was the best thing to do he threw it back on me that I was never satisfied I wasn't happy and he couldn't change anything and I couldn't change anything he just saw it for what it was whereas I was hoping for some sort of ution and I don't know what that would have been I've never seen her as distraught it just tore into me because she was like family to me and I was sitting there beside her and she just had no idea why is he doing this what's going on and why have you done this the one person who's the best thing in your life he did love her I know he did they were absolutely delightful couple destined to be together forever he was very unhappy about that [Music] the connection between them was phenomenal for years and years afterwards almost with every relationship he had he was always calling her [Music] who are you saying it to who don't you want to be torn apart from uh well just kind of [Music] personal so I don't makeup love song so um it's it's a that's a song for girl call Michelle do she know yeah she knows but we're not together anymore so doesn't work does it tear us [Music] apart Michael hushin he's hot he's rad he's like the thing right now and I want him years if I things has got bigger and bigger and bigger as we went along and you're thinking it just can't keep happening a it's very exciting it was a long tour as a year and a half and it felt like tamed by the end of it [Applause] come this is Mass the kick album changed everything we wanted to get success we didn't dream it was going to become quite that intense I never really actually consciously went about going I really want to be big and all that stuff and I'm very unconsciously purposeful person so from the fantasy to the reality that oh this is actually happening that became very tricky because I wasn't very comfortable with it so I invented a Persona to to deal with the necessity of getting through it I enjoyed it but I had to create something that kept me inside as well it's probably three people maybe four or five there probably a person that does interviews as well and the winner is in excess in excess [Music] incept you support animal and human rights and Hello mom in excess is the first non-american group to land six consecutive top 10 hits in the Hot 100 since Culture Club in 1983 84 serious I don't like the idea of goals I don't like the idea of success it's very limiting and as soon as you say you're successful then that's it you might as well stop whatever success means I'm not quite sure what success means for the second year in a row the Australian music industry recognizes the outstanding achievement of excess two weeks ago they Ed the us we all knew the ground was shifting so we could only imagine how intense it must have been for Michael as well absolutely he was overworked the day was is always filled he would go on 20 interviews a day then have to do a show then have to go to the next city and everyone wanted a piece of himig touring it's 2 hours a day but you know they're the two hours that I really enjoy you got 22 other hours a day that all kinds of weird things happen and the three months out on the road mean nothing it's only two hours a day that matter that's how I work that's why I'm here Michael was different he needed different things he was a different animal I'm not miserable about it at all I mean I enjoy it but um it definitely started to take its toll on a continual grind of in excess well I think it played on all of them anything to say before The Jig no just a bit tired actually I wouldn't want go home to sleep yeah it's a lot of [Music] hours I thought do you want to go with that principal sacrifice yourself to abandon about another 3 months and then they were the hardest working band I'd ever known they needed to be treated with a bit more respect I thought it was a whirlwind and he was the league guy and a cover guy which was a lot to take on cuz he was still the young man [Music] [Music] you have to really take a step back from yourself make a hobby to be normal or something if you don't you lose what you started with you know simple as [Music] that at the Grammys which were in New York being aired worldwide Michael walked on stage with his hair really short not the most attractive Michael and Kirk turned to his wife and said put away your credit cards we're done [Music] I got sick of myself there's a lot of people out there that sort of look like me I think or I look like them and I just didn't want any part of it anymore Michael came to me and he said I want to do a solo album I said you can't it's just crazy you look like an idiot there's very few solo acts that sell through and the fan base doesn't really follow you because they see you as a deserter cuz they're into the army concept I said well you do it without me I'm not going to take part of it Chris hated the idea his View was you are going to mess up everybody's career staring at the universe that's in my drink the motion of my stra I got together some Infamous musicians from Melbourne who were really good I Ollie and Gus till extremely talented as everyone else was it just kind of unfolded it was an experiment with all kinds of people I've heard of a few of his bands I knew about his past and I knew that he was trying to do something uh musically that I hadn't got anywhere near that's for sureid my skull I can tell given at the point he was with the pop group I find it admirable that he would want to take a detour and pursue something that had much much more of an art thrust that dichotomy makes Michael more interesting than your average pot singer of the time Olly is just one of those rare folk who occasionally Taps into something genuinely original or brilliant or just stunning and I think Michael saw that there's an emotional intensity that sometimes pop music doesn't allow you I think that's what he was after his own version of a primal screen one thing that must be said about Michael despite trying to put him into some kind of sexy Rock God pop singer thing he actually wanted to be an artist and recognized as being an artist that was his Achilles heel that he thought other people were better artists they got credit for being artist where he got credit for being able to shake his ass and be like a sex god and now maxq and now Max [Music] [Music] I Chris flies in Chris goes look I got the greatest marketing idea we're going to pretend it's not you that way this will never hurt you it won't hurt in excess brilliant man Chris Murphy I'm great marketing ideas but this one was his [Music] worst I got meet with the company and played some tracks then that guy R Chris said mate Gary playing me some of the max Q stuff I love it Chris's reaction was how dare you do that you have nothing to do with maxic [Music] Q I kept getting calls how's it doing how's it doing how's what doing how am I working something that we're not supposed to use Michael so ridiculous that's when Michael lost his feeling for this person we LED very much he just felt like how could you not see that I need to do other things that pretty much ended their friendship and their relationship I think it confused him whether he wanted to be part of nxs and whether he wanted to take on all the pressures of being Michael [Music] hutchon why did I do that I did that in a perverse reaction to What had happened to the band and to me and I had a hell of a time except I forgot to tell the band I was going to do it forget Andrew call me going I just saw you on television in your new band what's it called oh Max Q ah are you the captain of the INXS ship as well no I'm not it's a I'm just a part of a collective group of people I'm and I take over Char m a boat in Amsterdam City looking pretty good what you doing how many songs on the new album are about sex um uh well I'll probably Min them one way or [Music] another the wild [Music] Ro but my name was a day why they call me that I do not know my Kylie Kylie from the first day I went to see inexus play the gig in Sydney with we were invited back to the hotel that's where I first spoke to Michael in his hotel room after a gig this one point he and I were sat on the edge of the bed talking about something to help you with your V vocals if you run into trouble as a performer so he's telling me about these kind of magical drops he throat that was our kind of our first Bond I was going to Hong Kong shortly after that and he asked if he could take me to dinner in Hong Kong and me the magical potion which now I think was pretty much a Ru so I'm in Hong Kong with my manager my mother my hairdresser and about six aners the clock ticks the time passes there's no sign of him and my team are just getting really riled about this eventually he rocks up 2 hours later the second day I so we do go out he takes me out and clearly there was something between us a fris i' said Do You Know Where the Wild Roses Grow so sweet and Scarlet and free I don't know how long it was after Hong Kong but he asked if it would be okay if he could fly to Kyoto to see me he flew over we were free no one really recognized either of us our relationship was solidified there yeah it was we we became we became a couple they [Music] call sex love food drugs music travel books you name it he wanted to experience it so as his partner I got to experience a lot of that as well I felt very safe with him I felt protected okay it's okay we are now on the Orient Express on June 26th this is an American couple filming this young Australian couple who are here to have a great time you're on the air it's really not the person that people think she is because we can understand each other's experience how how much it takes pressures all that sort of thing there's a lot of equality a lot of strength a lot of support for each other cuz you're both going through that sort of stuff Kylie's got this real sweet innocent image and what the hell is she doing with me and vice versa the story book of this is that he's like the dark bad boy and I was the pure good girl and that was pretty much the truth did you get the M goody get one if you're a sensual being all of your senses need stimulation he definitely awakened my desire for other things in my world he loved seeing me experienceing a new wine or me learning about a new pleasure a lot of it was based around pleasure let's face it Kylie Kylie we went on the orangee express went to see Statue of David you know I'm crying I'm like this this didn't happen on my school Excursion why is it happening with you one of the first ways I would describe Michael is insatiable curiosity all the good things in life and some of the bad things in life it opened up a whole new world for me it really did then the problem was just scheduling finding the time to see each other got our managers with the computers out trying to align our lives so we on tour and stuff at different end of the world over time this is where I normally kiss you and you know do kind of things like that [Applause] lot of our relationship was faxing from one hotel to another hotel the fact was the current technology to send a personal message and of course that had to go through reception be printed put in an envelope put under your door you couldn't write anything too personal it's very exciting to see that envelope and open it and see what's the message today and to see his handwriting what he would write they were our 1990s love notes very cute Jones is my mother's maiden name and Gabby was our dog and his was Swordfish I don't know why swordfish not the best speller I have to say still still on movie staral I just think for me we met at the perfect time because I was old enough to take care of myself but young enough to just see and feel and experience all this new stuff isn't it beautiful it's fantastic the smell of pine smells of smells of life life exactly that's the real meaning smells of life [ __ ] life he gave me a book which I loved which was perfume the story of the murderer and he gave it to me when we were in the south of France Back Cher got one there we go Jerry tree wow they Divine that was a really poignant book to give me at the time cuz it was about Discovery and Obsession addiction and the senses one night like 4 in the morning he rusted me out of bed he wanted to show us this area that was from the book perfume he smells everything so cutely and unbelievably well he spends 20 years of his life smelling everything but he has no smell of his own he says well I'll make my smell make a human smell it's not good enough and then one day he smells a smell smells like peaches and he follows his smell across the Left Bank onto the right Bank in Paris comes to a window it's a young virgin girl eating Peach he has never SE anything like her he never known about a woman or a girl he makes 20 perfumes out of 20 virgins until he's the most notorious murderer in the world he escapes to these mountains this mountains here this is where they grow all the flowers for all the perfume in the world here right here like my house the lavender I showed you all around here he is the greatest perfumer in all of the world eventually he says I'll go back to Paris I say I'm sorry then he comes back and they catch him all the Paris goes inside and they're going to behead he says I have one last witch give me my bag give me my bag and he put all the perfumes to one and he cares perfume comes out cross Paris whole city tend into you they tear him apart [Applause] [Music] I've never come across pepperazzi like that which is a bit of a shock being in so much limel it doesn't let you naturally evolve how do you think about following up something like kick try not to the leaps we' made in such a short period of time were pretty substantial so we felt like had to make another one I think we got a little lost in there I guess in some ways you start believing that you're capable of anything but all you're capable of doing is really being true to yourself if possible because of his creativity I think he was scared of repeating himself which is the reason why he started to do a bit of writing with Johnny number Johnny Played me this demo Michael started singing the bits of words that he' written it came to the bit where he starts going I haven't written the words for that bit I said you have you just sing [Music] that there was a very very unpleasant face off between Andrew and Michael Andrew and Chris Murphy didn't want to have disappear on the record because Andrew hadn't written it it was very nasty Michael didn't really answer back somehow we managed to force it onto the record and of course it was the biggest single that they had in America off that [Music] album I my [Music] mind disappear those World disappear through it all he really had a sense of what was good and proper I know he never would have wanted to hurt anyone he did end up hurting me but he wouldn't have enjoyed it one bit [Music] ready I'm going make a school teacher yet this video is it yeah hi Michael I was in Japan again and things were not going well this trip that I had to do to get to him in New York was ridiculous on an already ridiculous schedule he picked me up at the airport in New York in a limousine met me at the gate it felt loving yet sad and probably doomed we talked through things and I couldn't give you an an actual reason the room was dark the with drawn he was on all fours on the floor crying I didn't know what to do I didn't know what was happening like where have you gone I don't know if that was associated with any guilt of having to break my heart and know what I would go through after that was it work was it drugs I don't know I just know he was like a broken man I'd never seen any man like that before it was like he was cocooning himself into this like you know rolled in a ball in there it was yeah so I left pretty confounded and destroyed and I knew that was that was it yeah he broke my heart I have to confess the hurt stays for quite a long time I can't stop thinking about you I think I realized in that time that this was beyond me it was a bigger story sometimes no matter how much love two people can have for each other it doesn't always make things right and it's not always the right thing to be together could be the worst thing you can do [Applause] my mother was very aware that when she walked into a room all eyes would go toward her through her whole life my mother had been a very successful model they really didn't have makeup artists around that time so she started to learn my mother's mother raised me till I was 11 I don't remember my dad Kell was so Charming he really did have that David nien look about him they were married within a month they were very much the couple about town going to lots of dinner parties very glamorous lot of models lots of very attractive friends I didn't go to live with with her until she was 6 months pregnant with [Music] Michael it was quite a volatile marriage from the start mother and Kell had this lifestyle but they had this baby they were both used to being single my mother was not really prepared for this little baby that would take take up so much time and change her life so much and neither was K his job always took him overseas from 2 weeks to 2 months mother had 12 14 hour days I don't think they had thought it through they just left him with me and it was for longer and longer periods of time I was a good babysitter my mother would be working on a commercial I'd come home from school the babysitter would hand Michael to me was [Music] us I would just love in the mornings if I could be the first one into the nursery and Michael would be standing up in his cart he was a very Smiley baby very very happy easygoing baby he was [Music] mine Michael was about 2 and a half when arrived that was much harder Michael was a pleaser you really didn't hear no from him where R his first word was no it was so obvious that Michael was the chosen one R felt it you knew that this child was feeling it he was a really angry [Music] kid why didn't you take singing lessons all the money that Mom gave me to singing lessons I gave to my brother M [Applause] can't I was 12 Michael was about 14 we both got off the bus walking home there was a car on the driveway they hadn't seen before and I got into the house opened up the front door and I noticed that some of the stuff in the living room was all packed up mom came down and she literally had two airplane tickets flapping in her hand there's a little old lady standing behind her mom said to Michael I want you to pack your bag and there was a suitcase on his bed and Mom explain to me that they were going to America I did go to the airport and I was screaming and crying please take me with you Michael just wanted to get away from the scene the screaming it was just too much and so he dragged mom through immigration and off they went she took Michael away year and a half and left me with this darling angel [Music] lady family sh okay the text let's get the text out I had a phone call was the middle of the night and it was Kell he was sobbing she's left and she's taken my Michael my dad was Shell Shocked he had no idea this was coming at all that's and R was at the airport that's the terrible heart-wrenching thing Michael knew for 3 months at least before I asked him if we should do it if he'd like to come with me and he said yes he kept it a secret as I did Michael knew that he was [Music] going I heard it from him so many times he will never forget leaving his brother W behind it just tore him apart he felt like he didn't deserve the success he felt guilt dad was away quite a lot trying to set up a company in mland by got these Darling Angels darling angel like s nny you call up if you need somebody to look after a child I went through seven of them one of the second or third last ones she ODed on her when she was in the bathroom with a biky and he's got her under the shower trying to revive her and the last one I had Ziggy she she introduced me to marijuana when I was 13 when they finally came back here and a half later Michael was a lot bigger a lot smarter dressed differently and he had a sense of self for the first time I got mixed up in heroin when I was about 16 or so I didn't have any direction in life of what I wanted to be or where I wanted to go he let me go for a long time doing what I was doing because no matter what love he had put in it wasn't manifesting in my stopping of course he didn't want have to identify my body in a morg one day he just wanted me to be doing the normal things I think he felt that he needed to step in and point me in right direction there was one point in my life where he gave me a hard love thing I went to rehab in ' 92 after the rehab I think he saw that I was trying to make a change and it brought me back into his life again he always thought I had potentially he always told me I could do whatever I wanted some people like this and uh all of us are like it at one time or another people use something to take care of that to kill the pain love you love love is a many Splendid thing it was around 3:00 a.m. I was sleeping and the phone rang it was herb we had just done the Chris Isaac video he goes hey Helena I'm just here with um a friend of mine and you should talk to this guy his name is Michael no sorry you know what I'm having a pretty good time here if you want to come by it'd be great don't kill yourself if he still up you know um we have dogs we have bees we have chickens we have lions and we have woman we have dogs we have geese we have love we have peace and everything else your grandma we were match makes to be honest and then we started talking over the days and we didn't see each other for two months then we met eventually I brought a coffee and a Danish he just seemed so joyful sweet deep and emotional kind profound and funny total mental and physical chemistry I in love and living in Paris this is a record this is a record this is a recording this is virtual reality sure it's happening right now here we have a RAR of our times how do you feel having a such an adorable chest what a wonderful heart this afternoon you're going to be able to see Jesus Jones Deborah har flowers and in and oh my God he was so intoxicatingly good on that stage you know it just elevated your mood he just becomes one with the music I was blown [Music] away KNE your lips are trembling cuz I'm going to be free what we're do here time has a to kill y' Fe so sweet honey let see my [Music] way Michael had that very alluring magnetic energy about him you know when there's one person in a room that has a special light and everyone's drawn to that that was him when we finally had time together it would be Paris where I was living and he would come and and stay with me so that's probably the city that we spent most time in and then south of France in the Summers tonight we got a special report on south of France and I'm so lucky to have some of my best friends among me okay okay just can we record this [Music] I El I to be L by you it was like an explosion of intense personalities all wanting to have fun and we would drive from house to house have lunch in one place dinner in another place party in a third it was the most decadent wonderful times that I've had in my life he loved his home down there we got this gorgeous young lad sitting over here by the left and he looks very mischievous doesn't he and he will now speak into this little uh speaker telling us about his innermost feelings yeah well the thing is it's just great being here sitting around this beautiful wom I mean one at the time it's all going to be fabulous see you soona he loved women but he was very committed when he was was with somebody very homey really he wanted to just Nest we walk into this Olive Grove he says you know the thing about olive trees said what he says they're a mortal he says there's olive trees that go back 2,000 years there's olive trees older than Christianity I said these ones I don't think so but they're old and we'll never be I would get calls from Kell to say do you know where Michael is and I get calls from mother they wouldn't call each other and then Michael realized that if he would suggest it the two of them would come we were all there it was the most wonderful Christmas Michael was the center I'm taking a shot of Michael's house in brockford lean in France it's about 8:30 in the morning and it's just beautiful down here just absolutely Exquisite it was 85 when I met up with Kell who had come over to work in Hong Kong because China was opening up he had actually been divorced 10 years at that point we met had dinner at the Hong Kong club and a year later we were married [Music] Michael and rer at the wedding very happy happy event Michael gone through a bit of a tumultuous time as far as his parents but when he came back to Hong Kong it was like he found his father again and he was so happy and of course so was Kell one night we were in lanon Kell and I were dining and Michael was there with another group he came up and he joined us and he was so happy and he said to me isn't he an angel he was a gentleman and he was a charmer and every time I've introduced a girl to my dad the first things they said when they walked away was I love your dad K was like that always fussing over women making them feel terrific he made you feel at ease Michael just learned that just watching how would you actually like to celebrate the turn of the century not that far away is it yeah well I'll be 40 well I made a deal with my old man that we'd be sitting around having a b champag so let's hope that happens we were riding home on our bikes and we stopped to get pizza he was stopped in the middle of a tiny very narrow road and was eating his pizza this insane Taxi Driver yelled at Michael to move got out of his car and punched him he fell backwards and hit the curb he was unconscious and there was blood coming out of his mouth and ear I thought he was dead we get to the hospital and he woke up and was aggressive they were trying to make him stay but he was physically pushing them away they thought he was drunk he insisted he wanted to go and they let him go what I don't understand is why the hospital didn't keep him for a month he lay in bed in my apartment he was throwing up most of the time he should have been in hospital but he was aggressively against it I would bring him food but most of it he would just push away like he got almost violent this dark very angry side came out in him and it was only when he slowly after a month got out of that state that he was able to make the decision in going to Paris to see highly esteemed surgeon he got the scan he had a fissure to his skull and the nerves had been and Toren he most likely would never regain his sense of smell and taste he did not want me to tell anyone he didn't even allow me to tell my parents we kept seeing doctors kept asking can those nerves be reconnected and were always told that that would be impossible he broke down and he would be like I'm never going to be able to smell my baby when I have a child I will never smell that child things just got really heavy in his head my head was smashed onto a road I spent a couple of weeks sort of talking in tongues and stuff finally I'm I'm fine now but the the good thing about it is uh these kind of experiences make you really sort you out a lot and they make you realize you know you get your make you realize what's important what's not important in your life and uh so I I've been I've been happy for you know way strange way just after the accident we went to the island of Capri to make full moon dirty hearts and right from the get-go Michael was kind of different I remember him smashing Andrew's really beautiful vintage acoustic guitar one night just for fun and it was like wow what's happened to Michael he just didn't seem himself at all it was quite clear that Michael was suffering from some serious brain damage and Michael ordinarily was not an aggressive confrontation or violent person take your [ __ ] I just felt this incredible overwhelming sense of sadness this is not the Michael that I know you never knew what you were going to get some days he was really normal Michael and then other days he was just this aggressive violent monster virtually was bipolar he was just very erratic in his behavior but also in what we were trying to do musically he certainly had got sucked into the grunge thing and there was a lot of times where he would stop everything and go you got to listen to this this is what we're got to be doing so I had huge arguments with Michael over that he was trying to make it a lot more not in excess things were magnified erratic conversations obsess of conversations repeating of conversations that wasn't him going complete mind blank here sorry we went it's not do you have any notes on we start producer yeah well I'm sure I've got notes on the producer yes I'm sure you doy hell Nick La Nick La there you go lost it I spent about a year what I call sensitizing and it's like taking your um Knuckles and rubbing him raw and really really feeling things not just having knowledge but feeling really [Music] feeling for someone like Michael losing the sense that really gives you that Primal connection to sensual Hedonism which is the sense of smell that would be really devastating to someone who is already engineered that way [Music] that would have also really crushed Someone who lived the Rockstar dream of exuding this sensuality and sexuality as he was singing and Performing and just being him [Music] [Music] his experience of food would have been totally denuded this what we can do we can barbecue a whole one and you you get from the from the actual Garden we barbecue with Twigs W in Twigs all he would be experiencing is the feel of foods in his mouth creaminess or crunchiness people don't understand how important the sense of smell is until they lose it the part of the brain where smell is processed and the part of the brain where emotions and associations get formed are directly linked when people lose their sense of smell they start losing their sense of self like we're floating in outer space you can still see things you can hear things but there's this absence and this emptiness it gets worse over time it doesn't get better it becomes more of an obvious loss more of a hole in one's being people mind if you kill yourself the lead story yeah yeah well I hope I don't become a lead story I hope you don't do there was never so much conflict as post push bike accident there was quite a significant change in Michael he was very very moody he didn't handle alcohol anywhere near like he used to and he seemed to crave more danger in his life whether it be with relationships or or drugs or anything that was the start of mco's Rage Against the World Andrew says the only thing we've got in common is that we're in in excess which I think is in some ways fairly true cuz I search for reasons why we still like to get in a room together definitely cuz you better have a really good reason after 17 years it's more than half my life you know [Music] things changed after the bicycle accident I think he was very very traumatized he confessed to me that it changed everything for him what was just a sweet insecurity became a deep insecurity he kind of lost his way and forgot who he was there were many comparisons with you two and in excess he loved you to he respected them but it made him feel more insecure he was frustrated because they went from really huge venues including wimble to this additional idea of let's make the venues very small like going back to PBS I had agents calling me record companies calling me saying this is the most ludicrous thing that was a very big mistake things started going the other way he had a very bad sense of separating the good from the bad are the ones who just taking advantage he should have just been around good people at all times and unfortunately he got dragged into something else he was so extremely talented but always feeling like he wasn't I had not experienced depression in anyone so I didn't really know how to deal with it I started building up walls because it saddened me too much to see what was happening with him something drastic happened I was deeply sad confused and bewildered but at the same time it couldn't have continued that way now in all the um the polls that I was reading in Countdown Magazine you know when it came to sexiest man you won is there a category for that yeah she used to have a picture of Michael on the fridge long before they got together and I think it said love dog on it you were saying that earlier on that in Australia um the music is more important than image and in England everyone's very concerned about your trousers I'm not surprised they look a little tight to me now um how would you describe the music I think Bob wrote [ __ ] above it once and so she got into new picture Bob and Paula were probably the most famous showes couple in brit got to go off and do stuff give the kids my love I will lots of love bye bye Paula just fell out of love with him and then one day Michael is there this is a guest that has everything that a rock star needs to have danger Talent curly hair and Australian subtlety short for being naked on the show it couldn't have been more obvious the two of them had enormous sexual chemistry hi hi what are you a big sex symbol or something hi she was fabulous she was the cross between Marin Monroe and Mary poins out at the yes I do and K I really want to talk to you about that I bet you do he called me up and he said Martha I don't care what you're hearing or reading this is the greatest thing for me he sounded like a different person he said he loved having a family which is one of the things that Michael fell madly in love with her about her kids and the way she was with them and the sense of security he got from her that she would look after them all I don't think it had occurred to Michael that this was going to happen he was was witnessing the breakup of a family that he was responsible for which had a deep impact on him because of his own upbringing I don't think he could ever forgive himself for what he had done and took it out on Bob gof but it was really a reflection of anger and shame how's life been have you had a bad couple of years or have you enjoyed it or had a nightmare what's been going on yeah part Nightmare part fantastic okay you know both really do you ignore it all I try water off a duck back I've always ignored it all you know as much as I can but after a while I just kind of gets in your face because Bob was Sir Bob Paula was then cast off into social Siberia and she felt that hard because she'd always been so loved and adored by the public your current bow sort of Beats people up he sometimes gets a bit cross and if the photographers come in and they're from the wrong organization and you hav don't say seems to have upset the Ceda moralities of the editors of the tabloids it's some more the kids that I worry about I love them they love me I'm not their dad I'm their s dad as they call me or Michael Martha she's beautiful Martha she's beautiful Martha I've never loved somebody like that it was magical it just was something that changed him completely what's uh it's um it's I mean it's fantastic I'm on cloud n you know what can I say she's amazing she's never cried she sleeps with this we wake her up in the morning she just hangs out we call her Tiger Tiger Lily is one of her names hi gorgeous hi hi he loved love loved her she was his world he'd carry around a clock with her face on it she moved her finger she moved her toe and you couldn't get him to stop talking about it it was a wonderful thing and he would sing to her and make her dance that's right her name's Heavenly herani Tiger Lily touch him wow a lot of hes in there she's her own 4H Club almost almost yeah he would light up unlike anything I'd ever seen to watch him like that was so wonderful because there were days that he was not happy now when you go on tour will she come with you no she she just left yesterday actually back to London with her mom Paula and uh she'll you know she comes out for a week here a week there you know yeah can't do it too long no is she sleeping through the night yet she's great no she's uh honestly it's my first baby and it's she's just perfect I mean I can't believe it you know everybody's like the band's like you wait till you have kids and and then I'm like great typical Michael she sleeps all night she she just laughs in the day and giggles and smiles never cries I don't know some people say you make you luck I kind of believe in this sort of cosmic I I mean I believe in God and and I and I and I you know your stars line up and sometimes everything in life clicks and sometimes you're fighting against nature itself you know and the winner is the best video o Wonder War as beans shouldn't present [ __ ] Awards to [Applause] gab what happened with Oasis at the Brit Awards what was that I don't know it says crap all the time like that to everyone if onlyny thing it's Liam was saying to me hey mate you know really love you I really love you you know Dad crushed Michael it was devastating that moment in his life so new album yeah Michael full moon dirty horns was 93 so what took you so long they were massive worldwide and to go completely the other way that was really hard on them and really hard on Michael they were hoping elegantly wasted would be the album that would turn things around what do you say to the people who rocking you off said you how do you [ __ ] you I was arrested was arrested went into the court and applied the custody of the children yeah it's surreal they ransacked her house while she was away the nanny let this awful woman in in and then they searched the house first call was very irrational they're going to arrest me they're going to try to take tiger Paula has to go back it scared him like nothing has ever scared him leaving the high court in London tonight an unsmiling Bob gof reportedly seeking an emergency order about the future of his three children well I've just come back to fight with my children I've had to leave tiger behind in Australia with her dad and her grandparents which obviously I didn't want to do for the So-Cal investigative for reporting this in the mirror suffice to say that's an entirely different way of looking at this whole series of events I think we've had live and now we're getting liade okay thanks very much gentlemen if it was proven True Tiger could be taken away from them and that to him would be the most devastating thing that could ever happen to they were in the Press every single day quality was in court all the time they were literally hounded by the press nothing they could have done would have been okay basically pretty shy so I find the whole thing nightmarish you become dehumanized there's a bullying mentality in England and a very misogynistic one and that's scary the opium found in the house bollocks that was really the beginning of the end I think and then they just spiraled into taking more drugs which she'd never done she was famously ttal proac and Valium and heroin they were a very bad influence on each other there were months that Michael would be totally clean but when he was feeling the pressures of the Paula situation and everything else it just weighed on him and he wanted to escape oh let's try heroin not needle heroin but still that had horrible effect on him he was depressed I arranged for him to go to a doctor he got proac I think he was taking more than he was meant to I think he felt quite isolated here he felt he had no real friends very few people he could count on and Trust I just know he felt very lonely for me I I I would say don't live in London uh at all you just get shanghaied by these guys and exploited and they make it up as they go along I mean I've always sort of pride of myself and trying to be sort of naive about yourself and uh just get on with your own life and about leaving and going back to Australia yeah yeah I'd love to eventually but um you know I don't think you should live your life being pushed around Bab people either you know so we'll see okay what has been our real honor meeting you good questions he wanted to be in England because of Paula and the kids the other hand it's the last place that he wanted to be because of the situation between the press and Paula and him and the baby and Bob when Paulo was around it changed the dynamic like a lot she knew how to push his buttons as often people in relationships do and she just seemed to hit that button a lot he just was an emotional wreck right there was a lot of stuff that was kind of heartbreaking because he just wanted to please her unless it was all about her there was a lot of drama big time from I'd like an ice cream would you guys buy me an ice cream oh think you missed it now he right I know he loved her I mean he was madly in love with her and I know he wasn't happy at that time but I know he still loved [Music] her when Michael didn't know what to do time to change because that'll make it better Bon [Music] am I am alone I am search please this was written by a 20-year-old August 31st 19 97 I got a call from him and he was upset apparently Paul has been trying to break up with him all day she's clinically depressed and comes from a horrible background the next day Michael stopped by when I open the door before I could say hi we were in the most romantic Embrace of my life September 12th 1997 Michael phones me and says Paulo has tried to commit suicide I asked how he was he said I'm weird in the head I said I bet he said no you have no idea you don't know what I'm going through you don't understand what's going on in my head [Music] pain be CLE tomorrow start but we to start again the phone would ring and it was her and I would find another part of the room you could hear the Discord the emotional roller coaster was so high and so low and I was a retreat from all of that all of the bad all of the [Music] sadness screaming [Music] she had lost control she he was leaving the next day he crawled up to me on the bed he said you worry every time I leave I said yeah he said you think something's going to happen to me and I said yeah and he goes do you think I'm going to kill myself I I said yeah and he kind of came up and just said oh baby that's not going to [Music] happen you know I mean you know life is it's a you know kind of a mess isn't it you know it's let's face it almost every area of his life was affected one way or another in some kind of turmoil that tour in Australia as it was counting down he had a lot lot of anxiety about going there he really didn't want to go I was concerned about him I said I'll call the promoters and let's just cancel it and he just couldn't do it because no matter the ups and downs the band had he loved them and Michael had this feeling about Australia meant a great deal to [Music] him he rang me he said that life was complicated we arranged to meet up the next day for a late breakfast we got talking and it was just tiger ly peaches and pixie for and I grabbed his hand across the table and I said hey Mike I know you're very lovely tonight and feeling great but deep down I know you got a big worry said for Paul is going into court day trying and get an order that she can bring features and fixie on Sunday it's he said I think we're going to win tomor and I took him back to the rich garden and he just wav smile and face happy anyone any surprises in store yeah when isn't there ever those rehearsals were the best I'd seen Michael in a long time he'd ridden his Harley Davidson into the studio come out of the elevator doors on his Harley hey just cuz I'm in a good just cuz I'm in a good mood now there's no need to [ __ ] around I just said it's been postponed I can't come until after the 17th of December he said I'm going to ring Bob and I'm going to beg him Paula spoke to Michael on the phone she was hysterical I spoke to Michael he said to me just make sure she's okay will you I think he was exasperated with the whole thing he called early he was upset and he was angry why aren't you there I didn't hear it till l L he called me he was extremely upset and Confused that the kids weren't coming to Australia but it was more than that he was really confused about where he wanted to be himself in life I went back to the office and I heard a message he was just really angry he said Martha I don't give a [ __ ] anymore when I got home I heard a different voice moth Marth I need you so desperate he called again he said he needed to see me he said everything was [ __ ] up he' start crying he said I'm supposed to be at rehearsals I suggested that he try and go to sleep and ring the guys and tell him that he couldn't make it and he said yeah I will do that and he said but will you come anyway he just sounded so exhausted and totally depleted in the most extreme way when I got there about 20 minutes later I went up to the room and there was no answer I went down and wrote a note and I just went home thinking he'd fallen asleep [Music] the phone rang and this reporter said can you make a comment about Michael and I said about what the tour he said no about Michael and I said would you please explain your so and he said oh I'm sorry I'll ring the pr P hung up and I just sat there Frozen then all at once the studio called me on one line and the tour manager called me on the other line and it [Music] okay Michael take care byby byebye say hello to everybody what's that sorry say hello to everybody I will do okay man [Music] byebye well I got the the first anyway veils [Music] okay streets are blue that children some silen moment goes on forever Bren behind what happens here chy Oney meyy [Music] I need Perfection some Twisted selection tles me to keep me alive in all that but none has your beauty I see your face I Will Survive mystify mystify me yeah MSY mesy me time little while with a cloud make a moment come alive all the of above you where kiss you every night all and miss the streets I blow all look your moment goes all forever yeah we leing yeah we leave Bren Hearts behind you mif you missy [Music] me one with the power to make a moment come all the stars shine above you with the kiss you every night mify mify me m misy misy me sing it [Music] [Applause]