hello hello hello Jerry Nana are you ready to come to the light uh I'm not sure where's pop pop he's not coming out to meet you anymore because honestly Jerry this is getting annoying it's not my fault my father-in-law asked me to help him gather data and oh not again okay run Diagnostics holy [ __ ] this is consistent this is real what have you done you got my grandparents pissed at me they'll forgive you because they zero mat fields of Consciousness preserved by a parad dimensional layer of infinite energy Morty there's kind of a heaven kind of I mean there definitely is for a neurotypical like your father his conscious connection to a localized cultural model of infinity functions like a wick sucking his little mind straight towards a source of energy strong enough to support Collective projection great so there's a heaven glad you could learn that by murdering me eight times he's got kind of a point Rick if you want to get into heaven can't you just stop being an [ __ ] first of all I don't want to get into anywhere I want to tap this parad Dimensions energy secondly you wouldn't catch me dead in Jerry's generic ass 1980s concrete and fog machine Heaven well guess what you aren't welcome there you raise a good point Jerry obviously by accident my intact Consciousness is too atheistic to get channeled to any afterlife worth robbing it's a paradox unless Morty pack your parka we're going to Norway or I can augment your skin with subdermal heaters I'll pack a parka [Music] [Music] Infinite Energy Morty you don't even know how to appreciate that because you've never been in energy debt [ __ ] you I've been tired perfect I'm going to Valhalla Morty your crap is going to be the first Valhalla not feel the excitement getting back will be easy Once the machine turns on I'll have set up the other side of the relay Phoenix protocol initiated just hit that big red button to pull me into this body but how are you getting there I I refuse to kill you again I'm just sensitized Rick I took some kind of test in school and the counselor had to call Homeland Security not your problem Morty I need to diee in glorious battle against a mighty enemy that's why I got Bigfoot in this Pokeball Bigfoot is your enemy well I doubt he's a fan I stuffed him into a ball I mess with him all the time these Vikings don't have real tight by Morty this is basically their equivalent of Native American burial grounds Bigfoot's dumb enough to attack whatever's in front front of him and all I got to do is die what happens to Bigfoot after Morty Bigfoot is a b story The a story is he kills me and you hit the button got it got it all right let's do this [Music] [Music] oh snap I I did it Valhalla baby I'm dead [Applause] Rick oh [ __ ] I'm dead Rick welcome to valala brother we thought all Vikings had perished ah nope I was I was a straggler how's it work here again fight we die we feast and then we fight again cheers everybody cheers so is there a time window between battles where a guy could go off and I don't know gather resources yes now you'll receive your armor knock knock oh wow you're a new arrival what do you require honestly I'd love to take most of your tools i' plan on starting from scratch but you're like way past the iron AG here saves me a lot of time time I make only definest for Valhalla beautiful Hammer so in Valhalla what happens when we get knocked out then we're just knocked out cool oh wow is that a thing Vikings love oh God [Music] brutal wait what Bigfoot do you have religion you you you understand me don't you does Rick do this to you all the time he messes with me too easy there big guy easy [Music] [Applause] look at this little one you must be made a piss send Dragon Balls to reach valara at your Edge oh yeah yeah yeah man dragon balls all day hey hey have you guys seen an old skinny guy around here of course but wait where did that guy go he should have his armor by now what in the mighty whales wooden [ __ ] the old man he's some kind of witch a friend of yours what why would I be friends with a witch I was just asking well that's really offensive man what is this judgment H I don't know until I ask all right is somebody around here going to make me some pants or do I have to call the feds on this place surrender witch easy guys this was all a test and you passed I me actually Odin Odin yep Thor's father Spider-Man's Uncle Etc I came here to do like an Undercover Boss thing making sure valhalla's running smooth which it is and as your reward I'm assembling this Majestic transdimensional energy relay which none of you should ever touch or it'll make your goats have hemorrhoids understood and you need nothing from us I'm only here for a few hours but since you're asking I'd kill for a beer and a sandwich beef cheese no onions someone writing this down my balls oh my balls all my balls Morty why are you here you are friends with a witch what the [ __ ] Morty you're my right home Bigfoot killed me he killed you he killed me and he was going to kill your clone no no no no no no no Morty no I I opened the cage Bigfoot was burying your body he he was mourning you he does that Morty any big idiot can pretend to believe in the afterlife that's why we're dealing with these [ __ ] guys they're just Norwegian bigfoots Jesus Christ run this cable over there we don't have much time hbd imminent initiating survival protocol [Music] [Music] [Applause] we'll take it from here and who are you CIA interpole we work for the man upstairs hello Bigfoot I'm a PO I'm ass sure you don't know what that means which is why I've been so eager to acquire you the church you see has a many enemies but also many rules we can't kill we can't command a man to kill but you are not a man you are a thinking beast from outside God's domain which will make you the vatican's greatest weapon your Holiness he is wild he can't be controlled ah but we know what he wants yeah yes my child yes you will have your naked imbecile But first you will work for me Morty heads up incoming wave clear they're sending more every time it's fine I'll upgrade the tur's rate of fire but I need to finish this relay you need to figure out how to get us back to life without my Infinite Energy I don't think you're thinking this through Morty if we manage to get home we don't get another shot at this you think the next time these idiots see a naked man on the battlefield are going to give him a beer so you'd rather stay dead until you win than live as a loser maybe you belong here with these idiots yeah I could probably teach him how to hit a red button I said I was sorry and I said keep killing them while I finish the relay and I will get us back home okay okay [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] oh no okay I'm done here you ready to get back to living yeah but how Mor the infinite energy means Infinite Energy all I have to do is pull a lever to send us back home into new bodies then voila no more need for crystals but the second we turn our back those guys are just going to trash this place oh Morty you have little faith do we even need to attack [Applause] him I told you I was Odin you f less Heretics and I'll keep blowing you up in this pit forever unless you follow these Commandments Spider-Man there's 10 of them but they basically revolve around not going near the energy relay is anybody going to go near the energy relay okay you have pleased me I'll get you guys some kind of a ladder the target is inside excellent release the bait I just love worshiping the devil with you [Music] [Music] guys who are you only the pope wants to kill us but he can't kill yes very good but we can do even better better you work for the Vatican our enemies are your [Applause] enemies yes yes here my sweet this will I help you communicate I traded a predator three muskets for for it so it is their currency give me what you promised yes child you've earned it all right Morty want to grab a mead for the road no I'm good then here we go man I take back everything bad I said about clone bats there's a method to the madness Morty and now infinite energy baby what the someone's hacking into the Earthbound side of my relay Morty pretty crazy whoever's doing this would have to be a spiritual leader with Limitless resources in fact I guess there's only really one your fight [ __ ] it is over my torment ends now what the hell are you seriously working for the PO the pope saw my potential prepare to be crushed by Bigfoot don't worry Morty I've got this under control Jesus Christ Rick just apologize you assumed Bigfoot was dumb which was dumb of you you're right Morty underestimating people only gives them The High Ground admit why you bullied me because I thought it was funny that you were stupid people are intelligent in different ways I know I know I'm clearly stupid at knowing when other people are smart listen I know you can't tap your Gauntlet but I'll take a guess at what you're saying you hate me because I tortured you to get what I want but I only used you to kill myself how many people have you killed for the pope help me stop him and I'll make it right for starters here ow that hurt wait a second yeah hands free also upgraded that voice thank you in a world where time actually is money oh I think I know this movie you guys could do this spit at the Vatican let's go oh hey big food what you got back there Rick and Morty dead for ah yeah that's a them all right last the thing I just got to take a sharp stick and stab them both let's adjust the rules [Applause] sorry Morty so much for the quiet way I appreciate that we tried it's a [ __ ] up rule it's over the pope we got you see this is why religion sucks infinite energy and the pope uses it to levitate like Chris Angel all right wow not how I saw that going I guess getting killed by the energy sent us up to conduit to its source hey guys no no ju just need some clothes and horses maybe not for bigfoot unless he wants clothes ah excuse me Lord Odin is this a test yep yep you passed oh feet so small why is he in a clone of Summer statistically speaking she's the third most likely to die all right let's kill that son of a [ __ ] hold on I can see where this is going [Music] [Music] wow I got to admit Morty I didn't really fight that time I wanted to make sure this worked handsome yeah you like that bigger feet even gave your brain a little more thank you me love it me dial it back you don't want to come across like a [Music] muppet maybe we just portal right up close to the guy instead of doing the guards every time oh yeah yeah yeah maybe bigger chin look at this he's [ __ ] giving notes Bigfoot come on we need you to put a little more fight in if need help Bigfoot do know some guys Pope has other monsters captive man you guys really don't quit I can do this all day yeah but these guys can do it oh wow big anticlimax mommy you look good this afterlife smells like beer I guess this is what Infinite Energy looks like [ __ ] really wish we had time to unpack all of Frankenstein's Parts making it here Bigfoot take these guys up to the relay and prepare for a Siege what are you going to do Rick listen I'm not really your God just an old man who wanted to cheat your system guys like me think we can run the joint because everyone is so dumb but it's a dumb Universe I work for you the customer is always right give me 10 Viking minutes after we leave and then pull the plug on that windmill we made over there and this isn't a trick is your mother's [ __ ] a trick go Morty go why the hell did you do that the only way to end this is by turning off the power Morty we have to get home that's what these guys are for Monsters Hold the Line everyone but Bigfoot that wasn't them leaving right no way that would be cold blooded who do you a bringer this time the Harlem a globe trots that's actually a good pitch it's over for you Pope time to atone for your sins Bigfoot you are God's greatest assassin now look at you hairless with normal feet Yes Rick the energy realized still [ __ ] was really counting on those monsters to lose faster that's more like it Pour one out for the wolf man I don't understand you know what they say when God closes an infinite energy relay no God all right I'm just going to say it so nobody else has to say it poopy ball there okay if I didn't say anything thing someone was going to be like you missed Pokey ball it was right there I thought about not using a Pokeball because of that and it's just the right tool for the right job what am I supposed to not use it and shoot the Pope in the head I was going to say it wait why are we at the woods time to go on home big fella oh uh okay you're free just go you guys are being weird stop making this so hard for us come on why can't you go back where you came from ow you don't have to throw things at me to say goodbye go I'm not an animal anymore I I was hoping I could I could get a job and go on get out of here okay I'm going okay ow stop throwing things ow okay I'm leaving get out of here come on get [Music] o [Music] [Music] [Applause] what kind of sick sons of [ __ ] these things are trained to fight I don't want to hear it Henderson what what year is it was the PO [ __ ] if I know let me check this guy apparently [Music] did you get any of [Music] that come on football go go a come on play football [Music] so you're mining stuff to craft with and crafting stuff to mine with uh-huh did your dad write this game mean gentlemen you're needed by a friend in Washington how clandestine if they can teleport why did we take I just work here Steve same as you diplomatic solution all right all right all right Mr President it's about time gentlemen Rick do you need a drink in here yes here's the Adventure some kind of alien goar has infested the Kennedy sex tunnels I wanted hunted down and taken out Kennedy sex tunnels naturally you'll forget you saw them along with in order of national embarrassment The Truman cocaine Lounge the McKinley hooker dump and the Lincoln slave Coliseum he didn't free them all and let me know when you're done maybe then we could get a selfie too busy Morty now tell me about this Summit is it a piece one or a regular one this sucks God tell me about it oh man if you're not into it what do you mean why would I be into it it's lame you're into lame stuff Morty I thought young dumb people considered it an honor to work for presidents or whatever the [ __ ] maybe the first few times but this just sucks he treats us like Ghostbusters we should talk to him yeah that sounds fun let's set some boundaries with a spoiled control freak that thinks he runs the world and orders drone strikes to cope with his insecurity it's either that or or more of this third choice Minecraft you like it now got to be honest Morty it's grown on me notify the president what do I tell him tell him the truth tell him Rick and Morty just blew off America [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you can use that wood to make a chest oh good then I can store all this wood I'll need later for chest making okay you're not going to have fun if you analyze everything this is what they'd rather do it's all in the transcript treats us like Ghostbusters so Ghostbusters aren't cool now H I don't recall signing that bill control freak or as drone strikes to coke with insecurity should we drone strike them that would prove him right and blow him up give me the phone is this game popular with autistic people why would you say something like that cuz I'm starting to love it failure to answer is a felony offense play cool as far as he knows we're still on the tunnels when should we reveal we can see them we're holding all the cards right now we don't show any before the time is right awesome yellow hi guys US president calling how's it going oh hey just hard at work on this sex tunnel gagu I think it's kind of our new arch nemesis it you know might take a while what do you think Morty a month fingers crossed a month yeah you lying dicks I see your ass is playing Minecraft I got you on satellite that's right what do you have to say for yourselves okay obviously this looks bad Mr President I mean what doesn't look bad through an illegal spy satellite don't High Road me the two of you break a th000 federal laws a day oh really that's pretty cool and yes yes yes yes you save the world now and then and America returns that favor by not holding the two of you accountable to its laws oh oh oh God we we didn't know you saw it that way well it's nobody's fault we never had the talk so to speak yeah I mean the way we see it when we show up that's the favor to you especially you know when it turns out you wanted someone to come over just because you found an xfiles monster in your basement that's for the reason you've never like arrested us we assumed you just knew that it was impossible like if you tried you no it wouldn't go well wouldn't go well can you elaborate I think one of your thousand laws says no I can't elaborate just trust me none of us want to go there which we'll never have to by the way we'll keep on saving the Earth you know we're happy to do that yeah but not because it contains America because moving to a new version of Earth is a [ __ ] and a half but feel free to call us you know as like friends yeah like if you ever want to take a selfie so are we cool yes thank you gentlemen I told you man I'm impressed Morty that went really well everybody get a hold of yourselves sir what is our new Rick and Morty policy our policy is we never needed them and never will again today we celebrate our independence from Rick and Morty everyone [Music] out can Ive your all this BR to cloth Mar there's cloth sale come on down CL I just put it on for fun I know I can't buy it oh come on you look great you're only young once just promise if the results are too strong you'll use protection really thanks when did you get red I don't know maybe I adjusted to the divorce and everything's new I'll say I couldn't stand you for more than an hour at a time before no no offense I like it it's great it's you're like a different person yeah different person almost how do you like that Morty whoa just like Minecraft oh a tiny nuclear capable species just got discovered in the Amazon let's go make first Contact before someone else gets all their [ __ ] what about this South Park did it 4 years ago Morty they're fast or we're slow don't do it guys the casualties would be in the Brazilians because you're Brazilian it's a threat and a pun nobody gets me Americano [Music] press oh oh hello Rick you're here too I guess this is a global crisis oh God uh Mr President Morty and I have the situation covered I'm sure you did dismissed dismissed yeah dismissed not needed here you can leave and nobody will care have you never heard that before do you even know how to take out this kind of threat we're not taking it out we're going to shrink down and approach them diplomatically you shrink with pills are you still here shouldn't you be going down to your next version of Earth with your selfie craving star sidekick wa we're allowed to be here you weren't president of the Amazon yeah I learned about your job in school you're a civil servant we're technically your boss oh please Morty you pay as many taxes as you have pubes oh I got pubes commander and que you you want to count them commander and que that's it do it recognize the Rare Element San cheesium we've been preparing for a rick level eventuality for some time you mean you've been ordering other people to prepare for it while you sat on your ass at peace Summits peace Summits are important oh yeah they work great we're really drowning in peace you suck you suck task force Alpha prepare to shrink is there a task force Alpha Health Plan by the way because of those pills are based on subatomic compression you could get a more curable cancer just walking through the mushroom clouds God damn it I'll do it who task force Alpha is disbanded and you two aren't American anymore I can say that you're expatriated if you step foot on homeland soil again I'll treat it as an invasion is this supposed to be painful painful to watch oh such lame shrinking H his clothes stay the same size uh 70 shrinking party of one eat my shrinking fast there he goes all right let's get out of here Morty what the hell I made sanchezium up dumb asses don't believe everything you read on Wikipedia stand down he's not afraid of pirates oh run Morty that part was true I can't talk now sweetie when can you good point what's up remember a little while ago when you said that if I wanted I could like leave Earth and wander the infinite Cosmos to figure out who I am and that nobody would ever know I'd left because you could replace me with a clone mhm am I the Clone sorry what am I the Clone did the real me choose to leave and I only think I chose to stay because that's what I need to think because I'm the replacement Beth no okay wait and one more thing if I were a clone would you tell me Beth you know when smart people get happy they stop recognizing themselves and you are very smart because you're very much my daughter oh God you're right I'm sorry thank you Dad all good totally I'm fine now and and just to be sure you're not pretending to be convinced you're real because you're actually convinced you're a clone and you're now terrified that becoming self-aware would mean I'd have to termin a you no okay glad I could help see you soon where do I go what does what what what what what does this mean this means nothing Jesus pull forward and park then say that godamn it sorry bad day I am presidentress of the mega Gargantuans we named ourselves before learning we were small Madam presidentress I'm president of America which is basically the world but you didn't hear that from me I've come to I know who you are we've already agreed to a ceasefire with your ambassadors Rick and Morty Rick and Morty were here of course they were here they can drink instantly and teleport they told me to give you this they said it will stretch as your cancer pill wears off and your body awkwardly enlarges at the rate of a 50s movie are their pants they said said you'd prefer just a shirt apparently you have a need to swing your dick around Rick and Morty escaped no [ __ ] take me to the Pentagon we're at war with Rick and Morty you'll want to make a stop at the White House I have pants at the Pentagon Ry it's in my contract I mean you need to call a press conference Israel and Palestine have announced a permanent ceasefire what they signed something called the pretty obvious if you think about it Accord apparently an anonymous American Diplomat took them to a Star Wars Cantina where they smoked perspective in enhancing alien pheromones through a laser hookah I still say it has to be Putin it was Rick and Morty you duns but you're getting the credit sir you're approval rating just hit 100% why would Rick and Morty want that because they're [ __ ] I'm flattered but it takes a whole team to achieve what we did today thank you well they haven't been back home sir we've got every possible location under surveillance God damn it they're right here they're here God Dam it everybody relax just waiting for you in the only room you can't blow up or spy on so we're not changing timelines for you but now you have everything you want so you can forget we exist and we'll return the favor you couldn't say that in the text well since we won't be seeing each other again my guys we get it it's a code red enough my grandson has worked hard for you and I feel like he's earned a selfie honestly I could take it or leave it at this point you're taking it no what kind of fratty ass status move is that get out of my office seriously you're that stubborn he's the stubborn one I'm protecting my country uh from selfies from subordination to hostile Powers uh does China know about that deal breaker China doesn't pick piss on the White House well why would they I'm sure it was expensive get out not without a selfie arrest them son you have a right to refuse his order and I guarantee you're going to die if you touch me and there's no afterlife everything just goes black don't do it well Rick okay what was that death what kind instant there was no sound he just die yeah terrifying it's a terrifying thing to watch happen it's called a deterrent you couldn't just knock him out how is knocking out a deterrent everyone wants to be knocked out nobody wants to be dead you committed murder in the Oval Office now you can't leave that's fine I said I'm not leaving without a self uh I don't need a selfie and I'm saying you aren't getting one and you aren't leaving so we agree yes no we disagree because you think you're getting a selfie and leaving am I getting a selfie never then I'm never leaving exactly see does anyone have a shot yes nine people I can show you but I wouldn't recommend open fire God you are dumb get the president out of here bad idea wait why because if there isn't someone in here that they're not supposed to kill they're going to wreck the place trying to kill me and as long as you live no matter where you are if it isn't in a selfie with him him I'll be here Jesus he's not a God you don't know what I am you don't know what I can do it's it's cool R I'm Doctor Who in this mother I could be a clone I could be a hologram we could be clones controlled by robots controlled with special headsets that the real Rick and Morty you're wearing while they're fing your mother I'm going to kill you come to 312 Olive Street is that her address you don't know because you're a bad son ow take him down SE fire number three the Twister number four the hanky pink Beth my dad might have cloned me and I might be the Clone and he says I'm not but that's what he'd say to a clone typical six the Texas you look like you to me what are you an idiot I'm sorry I'm sorry that was so rude I came to you for help and now I'm insulting your intelligence and look where intelligence gets you well don't knock intelligence because right now I'd love to understand how I can help you I can't be in charge of that Jerry my mind my ideas are all part of the variable the only constant is you you know me inside and out do what you have to do okay sit down uh now cross your legs that leg on top good what is this senior year I took you on a date to the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra performing the music of Alan sylvestri in the park at this point in the song from volcano when Tommy Lee Jones and the utility workers are using cars to guide the lava into a culde-sac I realized my Palms were so sweaty I would never get to hold your hand but I was desperate to touch you so I wiped my palm on the grass next to me but a Snickers wrapper kind of got stuck on it so I started kind of jiggling it whipping it without moving too much but you started looking over and I thought well this is it she's going to see that I'm a loser and I'll never get to touch her but I still have time to touch her but my hand had Snickers on it and the brass section was swelling because it was the scene with a guy melting in the lava and I just thought it lips don't [Music] sweat wow yeah I'll never forget that feeling you're the real thing then that settles it because my memory is of hating that night but now reliving it all I can feel is How Lucky I Am To Be Loved by such a simple honest Simple Man Simple twice this isn't the woman you married Jerry because this woman loves you uh well Viva defon okay that was lame uh listen I words Don cheel [Music] you have the right to get the out of my office you have the right to kiss my dick give me the thing [Music] [Music] oh [Music] [Music] submit submit for the selfie I yield I yield take the selfie okay Morty get in there and say cheese Morty Morty come on God damn it rick don't get mad but I stole your portal gun what the Morty I told you I didn't want the damn selfie 800 times look whatever the hell is going on between you and the president it's got nothing to do with me so where did you go I can't tell you Rick did you tell my mom she might be a clone no I I told her she wasn't well isn't that what you tell a clone oh for Christ's sake Rick my mom and dad are getting back together what no she's not a clone well she says it doesn't matter if she is or isn't because now she loves my dad and she wanted me and summer to come home and we're hiding from you so you don't kill her if she's a clone in a place I pick that you will never find so don't look for us come on [ __ ] oh you come on [ __ ] I'm out I'm done I got to I got to go so I win then I'm in charge and you can't leave you're a terrorist you're An Enemy of the State and you kicked me in the balls 10 minutes ago the Office of the President can't coexist with a living God that won't submit to it I mean besides Poseidon but he's locked up in Area 51 already so that doesn't really count Mr President I'll make you a deal if you let me use your ghetto ass offbrand deficit tripling teleporter I can go take care of something you'll never see me again yes deal inv visit Troopers stand down yeah yeah I don't want to hear it you know I could see them this whole time right don't push it [Music] Sanchez he found us I told you we shouldn't have gone to the same cabin as last time oh we're not going anywhere this ends now dad if you're my dad of course you're not my dad you're here with a gun because I'm a clone I guess I have all your daughter's memories so I guess I was her which makes me related to her but I don't relate to her she left her family and me which means I relate to them so if you kill me fine you're not killing her but you're killing a real family and instead of doing that will you just go away aren't there like infinite timelines can't you just move move to one where I don't know I'm a clone and where a different but identical version of your authentic sociopathic crazy [ __ ] of a daughter can keep making you proud by being somewhere else Beth you crazy [ __ ] you're my daughter I brought this here to kill Jerry Jesus Christ yeah yeah yeah you win Jerry you win no amount of Genius can stop your dumb mediocre vacuous roots from digging into everything and everyone around you and draining them of any ability to fend you off well good enough have been easy for you to say that I appreciate it Morty where's my portal gun let's get out of here I'm staying here Rick are you nobody gets it nothing you think matters matters this isn't special this this is happening infinite times across infinite realities including this yes which is not to say that subjectively it wasn't funny are you going to stay there's infinite timelines Morty why would I stay in the one where I trashed the White House became an enemy of America and the lowest status character in my idiot family because of the fart there's still some Rubble over there I don't think you've ever understood what Secretary of the Interior means hi Mr President uh I'm Rick Sanchez but not the one that did this we Ricks travel the infinite and switch places with each other like hermit crabs I think I'm fly fish and Rick you can distinguish me from the Rick that you had a falling out with by my fly fishing enthusiasm and accompanying hat I hope I could be of service if uh you ever find the planet to be in danger friends sounds good to me kids dinner I got Panda Express did you get sugar chicken that's kind of the only thing they have I love Panda e thanks Mom I'm hoping to get a piece of your sugar chicken later stop there's your stupid hat dip [ __ ] dad you can't talk to Jerry that way anymore we're a real family now in many ways things will be like season 1 but more streamlined Now Jerry and I are happily married parents and the idea that I was motiv motiv ated by a fear of you leaving can be ass shoed ass shoed you've never used that word maybe you are a clone it's not like Rick would tell us [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] oh we what a season sorry I never showed up but I got married I had a baby I went back to school I got my GE D what did you do while you were waiting hopefully you didn't just around and waste your life oh we see you for season 4 in like a really long time I I might even have a big white Santa Claus beard and a and and a and a and a couple of grandkids and all that kind of stuff see you see you then did you get any of that [Music] you two are hungry it's a big day we're going to kill God come again Christian God is real he's been asleep for thousands of years we're going to sneak up there and kill him Mar style whack his ass can K G [ __ ] off summer Beth do you hear this sweetie don't get all worked up before your job interview job interview yes is that so hard to believe actually yeah something's off [Music] [ __ ] hunt me hunt me hunt me somebody hunt me don't hunt them to completion me oh [ __ ] um everyone start packing no no time to explain Rick Dad what's wrong someone just killed a decoy family I Mr always wants to be hunted yes and how interesting did you think that would stay [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you made clones of us decoys Morty very different very different sweetie different how yeah Dad different how a lot of people out there want a piece of this sweetie I'm cool and it makes them feel bad so you know after that trouble with space Beth I made passable copies of the family and plac them around the country as a buffer zone to protect why does he always want to be hunted it's not important right now dad sure guys Rick can make secret decoys of the family and place them all around the country but [ __ ] me if I have questions about the starfish man in a Target suit so thankful this is my Saturday why was he in that cryopod the cryopod is what confuses you Jerry can't you see we've moved on to higher Stakes well I don't see any Stakes at [Music] all a [ __ ] guess we'll just be saying Chow Bella to our deposit then shut up and pack Jerry squids just killed the decoy family decoy family is this why you wanted to get out of town you think I'd lie to you about why we're on vacation Morty I wouldn't lie to you well that's a lie huh so someone out there is trying to kill us someone's always trying to kill us that's what the decoys are for they go on fun self-contained terrestrial adventures and take bullets meant for us [ __ ] no oh [ __ ] decoy family I think jab was still outside what what what what's a decoy family hard concept Morty hard concept I've never really cracked it if I'm being honest decided it was maybe better as a kind of kinetic mislead for another special episode oh cool we now return to when wolf wao a time traveling wolf Count Me In yeah I never thought of the wear and werewolf like who what when and where clever word play when wolf Dracula you know why I'm here I'm safe here Ean Christianity hasn't been invented yet crosses are just baby teas to me now I got out please don't invite me back in huh kind of mucked it up with this Dracula stuff you're right it shows a lack of faith in their core concept I'd much rather watch windwolf go to the 20s and invest in the stock market but then eat people yeah look if you really want to know what happened to Beth's mom it well squid aliens just killed the decoy family decoy family you made more clones clones are like 32% of all sci-fi sweetie you don't get to own clones yes I made some decoys they're exactly like us with a few weeks and a back door shut down did you just get hard creating sentient life actually I get hard protecting my family gross yeah now everyone gets killer doppelgangers cool deal the decoys are harmless Beth Grandpa Rick do the decoys know their decoys they wouldn't be very good decoys if they did some some so they think they're s that's the deal how do you know we are not decoys oh my God we're decoys oh God we might not be real we might be decoys Morty quick what do I do fail safe Morty my my final secret fail safe it proves I'm real you have to help me I I I'd never joke about this there's a barcode Morty a bar barcode on the interior of my left ass cheek Morty please I'm begging you I'm not looking at your ass please Morty is it there God damn it just tell me if I'm real Morty do it groad summer you [ __ ] idiot we're not decoys why why did I get punished a decoys don't build decoys and B you think the mere suggestion I'm fake would break me Christ I'm not your mom [ __ ] off jeez these guys really want to kill me bad all right here's the plan we're going to hide out with the decoy family and when these squids show up we jump their asses Jerry come on family emergency a bigger emergency than my lemon square is not setting they're gluten-free sugarfree and lemon free think you got the wrong house bro analysis mode password 80085 kind of expected a funnier password I didn't plan on showing them off damn like Westworld yes Morty like Westworld but don't [ __ ] them summer whatever creep I'm going to see how accurate you got my room Rick when you say you made an exact replica of the house did you mean like you know an exact replica I know about the oity T-shirt Morty [ __ ] you know you can use tissues right I can't finish without it so you do know what a happy family looks like I know what a fake one looks like uh Rick what did you use this house to make decoys too what Morty why the [ __ ] would I do that You' think I'd go somewhere else to okay well I am now less worried about the squids isolate head at normal processing what the [ __ ] you think you're doing down there you're making decoys wait how do you oh God summer was right everyone in the car you said decoys didn't make decoys and usually they don't but again it's nothing to worry about because decoys are harmless just have to you know visit the rest and terminate the program terminate they're alive dad and at some point they won't be that's how existing Works what are you going to save every Stray Cats no but I can resist making more of them in a Lab look save the empathy it's more termite infestation than Blade Runner I still think we're de you just want an excuse to stop trying yeah and ooh there's a handsome fellow uh-oh I thought you made them harmless I don't remember making this one oh hi Rick family me hey when did you all leave analysis mode 80085 H nothing buddy you got to stop with all that coffee it's making you loopy happy analysis mode happy analysis mode do you too think you got the wrong house bro analysis mode password 80 you think I'm a decoy how do you know about the decoys they were my idea well now I know you're pranking me analysis mode password 8 equal sign equal sign capital D hide what hide wow like like exmachina yes Morty like exmachina but don't [ __ ] them summer whatever weirdo I'm going to see how wrong you got my room so you do know what a loving family looks like simulated one yes why are we hiding he thinks he's me and I was about to start terminating decoys but we're not decoys sure tell him that Rick did you make decoys here too my what reason could I have for what the isolate head at normal processing you dumb [ __ ] you made decoys again they were my idea wait what what happened to the other guy other guy wait that means I'm a decoy [ __ ] summer check the closets they've got Ro kill the decoy [ __ ] somebody put a gun in my teeth stop shooting dad they're us we don't have to fight them classic prisoners dilemma Beth I'm a cool guy I you know I could talk it out but that [ __ ] me you decoy piece of [ __ ] you're the one that shot first we can work this out just stop trying to kill each other sorry decoy Beth but this only ends one way with one of us accepting we're a decoy and once he knows he's a decoy he'll know he won't be safe until he's killed the real Rick along with anyone who thinks he's him pretty perceptive for a decoy this is getting nowhere let's charge their asses on three do we have to do this myty this is going to sound bad but would you trust me not to kill you I mean good point but Jesus Christ we rush him on three ready I don't want to kill us Rick them or us Morty I don't trust me do you trust you yes freak before you say anything they were already killing each other well you could have done something not sure actually I've heard stories about this we're looking at a possible azimov Cascade sorry what's happening need explainer I'm pretty behind on this one car can I get a whiteboard when squid started killing decoys decoys started checking their decoys and learning that they're making decoys that's making them seek out and run into other decoys making them realize their decoys making them start to kill other decoys say decoy again [ __ ] you well how do we stop it Beth the Loop's already started it's basically Highlander rules now really 1986 there can be only one [ __ ] we got to rented after this connory plays the Spaniard but does nothing about his accent what about the squids I mean they started this would killing them finish it might work alt pitch we just terminate the rest of the decoys nobody's terminating anything this is your mess nobody else with our face and memories has to die Beth as much as your passion warms my cold cold heart this thing feels pretty far gone not only are the decoys liable to be anywhere but also we don't know how many there are you get far enough down the decoy line and [ __ ] starts to get weird you ever make a copy of a copy you're helping us fix this we're taking out the squids I say we split up some of us take down squids while the rest of Eng in be stories we have the track simultaneously no thank you we stick together until this is all wrapped up I don't know the squid seem pretty good at taking out Smith family well this will sound weird but I think I have a pitch for that this costume smells like ass God there's no pleasing you really bad Rick did you let a gym coach break it in why are we wearing these because we'll fit in and avoid detection as we take out all the squids might also help us anonymously take out excess decoys if we have to which we won't unless we're decoys he is starting to wonder I knew it I knew we didn't seem like Colorado people oh my God you are aren't you you're worried you might be fake sure Beth try to love this more just glad you have to walk a mile in someone else's squid costume there's one hey hey what are they mad at you for anyway well we're talking about me it could be anything maybe jealous of my penis size I had sex with their Queen my dick's too big the list goes on and on all right hey one down probably what 40 more to go 45 should be pretty easy unless killing them brings in a bigger bat or some kind of horrible Mothership okay let's loot their [ __ ] find their weaknesses be done by Sundown huh wait but if the squids are decoys and we dressed as squids well I think I found their weakness they don't [ __ ] listen to me honestly probably for the best man I'm good [Music] [Music] ah oh [ __ ] one of mine where are we going off grid Morty we're going to live in the woods like Libertarians we'll hunt rabbits and trade with like little pieces of gold bar that we cut off with a knife that licks we might be decoys some everything about this lick oh maybe now you'll empathize with the decoys you're killing wait shh it's too quiet you skipped quiet I didn't skip [ __ ] it's obviously quiet if it's too quiet yeah but you're supposed to say you know what Sumer now it's not quiet [Music] enough where are we where's Rick he's right here Morty oh are we not happy to see Grandpa does he look different oh stinks yes recoil at the craftsmanship I could tell I was a fake from the day I was born unlike you unlike them you see Ricks they get lazy there's always a shitty decoy towards the end but those decoys made decoys too and got lazy themselves and far enough down the line they're be monsters H we get it you're ugly and mad about it Grandpa kill me if I ever get this Arch Hush little decoy can't kill you yet the skin needs to be fresh you know what you're a monster I'm your father at least I can look more like him once I harvest all this yummy skin this guy's really into skin it's not all for me a rick provides for his family will I be beautiful again Daddy soon baby beautiful again soon what the help the others [Music] [Applause] why are you helping us because we're all in this together come on there's a place we can [Music] go hey who needs all this war stuff I found a can of varnish this is a ticket to the world beyond the river who wants that I crave glorious death in decoy battle also you know depending on the varnish might look like blackface excuse me for wanting to live brothers and sisters welcome to the cause to our cause we are no longer Rick's and Morty's Beth's and Jerry's or also Summers whatever we are decoys brought into the World by an unloving God and driven to destroy ourselves by the uncertainty he creates that SS dream but that violence ends today what about the squids decoys who realized their decoys and wanted to kill the other decoys yeah it it is a lot we cannot let confusion divide us squids squids of course being shorthand for killer decoys inner sanctum the Escape h you [ __ ] I'm sorry I didn't ask for this I just want to live but there's only so much varnish I'm sorry sorry how long before the other decoys find us sooner or later can't really run from it any place we'd think to hide is a place they'd think to look it's rule 34 of an azimov Cascade I'm just glad we're living to the fullest with the time we have left well peeing in the ocean was my bucket list item who's next Jerry bucket list I'd like to attend a game at every Major League ballpark nope Morty I want to ask a girl out at my weird New Mexico school [ __ ] sorry buddy sounds like it would have been real heartwarming they looked happy did we have to kill them well maybe their Rick came to grips with his [ __ ] you're so mean today I'm your dad you like having me around you keep putting us in danger whatever this will take forever mind if I do something drastic house I need something quick can you whip up a Star Fox Boss season 4 call back make it flashy you got it babe let's go you little [ __ ] it's showtime get centered what up you decoy [ __ ] come on down to Rick's house of squids where I'm serving your ass on a platter I know what you're thinking [ __ ] a beacon that's a great idea he's got home turf Ted psychological advantage and absolutely pendulous balls now you're thinking [ __ ] that's totally what the Rick is Rick would do I might actually be fake I pretended I didn't care if I was but I totally did now the only way to prove I'm real and not him is to Isis expository ass yep so let's do it come get some what no Morty I'm going to Loop it why is it sir there seems to be a Confluence of Rick Sanchez's killing each other over the American southwest sounds exhausting how many of those States voted for me anyway Mr President I think the point of the Electoral colleges to preserve slavery that's right Steve I have the internet too now take your white ass to the kitchenet and bring me a Diet Coke a little out of character to say this right now but you guys look really cool we might be decoys huh one way to find out a [Applause] a I'm not him it's Isis looks like it's calming down you want to get in one more I Told You So about synthetic life or whatever this week's theme is oh [ __ ] you you don't get to be annoyed with this you treat life and family as so burdensome and yet you created an ocean of us because you're terrified of losing either [ __ ] yeah look Beth I I I might not be the real Rick but even if I'm not he made me or the me that made me which means somewhere inside of him is a version of Rick capable of hearing that a version of Rick who's sorry I'm sorry about the Clone thing too I love you thanks Dad I love you too you really think we're decoys uh who cares we'll be the last ones left lucky that one did the beacon this was going to take weeks all right let's mop up finally dressing his decoys too cute to murder you know I'm not sure it helped but I'm glad we tried it we're losing the costumes thank God this decoy outfit smells like ass [ __ ] you summer [ __ ] that guy's awesome okay listen he might actually be the real Rick but whatever [Music] happens wait we don't have to do this we're both Summers shouldn't we at least try Molly before we die you know what yeah [ __ ] this noise wait I don't know who to shoot I can't deal with this I had to kill myself you after too summ [ __ ] you I'm real I'm the smartest man in the universe probably not even wrong but that's just it I'm not a man I'm God you're just made in my image [ __ ] you you the uh summer I came with probably good enough Morty yeah I'm here too holy [ __ ] that was insane I love you guys I've totally changed oh [ __ ] you should have hunted me what who were were you significant like like did we tee you up you want to be hunted God I have so many questions why what happens if somebody hunt me pretty cool adventure huh big long road trip adventure through space even ran into space Beth maybe that'll happen more often let's not overdo it oh [ __ ] looks like someone killed the decoy family decoy family [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hello oh oh my God oh my God no no no no no no no no no no oh God yes yes sweet death why am I still alive oh God is there anything left hello what is it a relic from a Kinder past wait Cowboys Christianity again after Cowboys you went all the way back around oh God why can't I die this is the worst thing that's ever happened to [Music] anyone did you get any of that [Music] jeez I can't believe we found a version of Earth with a ball fonders movie franchise I can't believe the things this reality considers PG-13 yeah I'm pretty jealous don't be Morty there's pros and cons to every alternate timeline fun facts about this one it's got giant telepathic spiders 11 91s and the best ice cream in the Multiverse we're going to go get some ice cream [ __ ] oh great oh boy what's wrong Rick is it the quantum carburetor or something Quantum carburetor Jesus Morty you can't just add a Sci-Fi word to a car word and hope it means something huh looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery we're going to have to go inside um go inside what the battery Morty be right back summer stay put don't touch any buttons and ignore all random thoughts that feel spidery wait you can't leave me here you'll be fine ship keep summer Safe Keep summer safe H wonderful hey excuse me hello um well you think you're better than me nobody's better than me hey hey keep summer safe hey man what the hell that was my my daughter's pediatrician no stop don't kill him confirmed oh God I can't feel my legs help help summer is safe I don't feel safe confirmed no oh God help me help me help me please you can help me [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh man where are we Rick Morty remember 8 seconds ago when when you said go inside what and I said the battery and then we showed up here and I wasn't like wa this is unexpected this is not what I was expecting Morty what a perplexing mystery this is we're inside the battery I get it you don't have to bust my balls huh this isn't right this pipe's supposed to be sending 20 ter of juice up to the engine Morty instead we've got zero now what are these people doing whoa whoa who people it's time for some Hands-On engine repair all right Morty hold on to something W holy crap I thought we were inside your car battery Rick this is like a whole planet or something thanks Morty I'm pretty proud of this bad boy check it out I put a spatially tesselated void inside a modified temporal field until a planet developed intelligent life I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity which they now generate on a global scale and you know some of it goes to power my engine and charge my phone and stuff you have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you that's slavery it's Society they work for each other Morty they pay each other they buy houses is they get married and make children that replace them when they get too old to make power that just sounds like slavery with extra steps Ooh La La someone's going to get late in college it appears we are being Revisited by the alien known as Rick who once gave our world the gift of Goble boox technology which when stomped on generates electricity powering our homes and businesses improving our daily lives while safely removing the dangerous waste power to a special disposal volcano but why has Rick returned and what will he say when he hears the big news let's find out you need to tell these people they're in a battery Rick it's messed up there's Caterers down there they're setting up chafing dishes you relax Morty there's nothing dishonest about what we're doing now slap on these antenna these people need to think we're aliens what why obviously you really know nothing about car repair wait for the ramp Morty they love the slow ramp really gets their dicks hard when they see see this ramp just slowly extending down greetings Morty got to flip them off I told them it means peace among Worlds how hilarious is that coming through two real aliens walking through here Rick our alien friend uh Mr President um couldn't help but notice that you were having problems generating power that's correct we've evolved our most brilliant scientist Zep xanor has developed a source of energy that makes gooble boxes obsolete I would love to see it [ __ ] you what did you say to me [ __ ] you you told me it means much obliged oh right uh blow me no no no blow me zeep you have an guest from beyond the stars I said 12 Quantum stabilizers not 11 fix it or it's your ass Chris I'm in the middle of something Zep this is Rick the alien Rick the alien Rick the alien really you're going to pull that move I guided your entire civilization your people have a holiday named Rick's giving they teach kids about me in school I dropped out of school it's not a place for smart people oh snap listen to me you arrogant little Rick hoping to see your new energy source I think he could learn a lot from you zeep fine it's hard for people to grasp but inside that container is an infinite Universe with a planet capable of generating massive amounts of power I call it a miniverse dumb name excuse me nothing I mean it's hard for us to comprehend all this would it be possible for us to get some kind of tour of your miniverse from the inside this isn't a [ __ ] Chocolate Factory I don't have time didn't you say time goes more slowly in the miniverse relative to the real world yes Chris thanks for reminding me of that great president all right let's go hold on to something I put an unbounded vacuum inside a temporal field until a world developed I then introduced the people of this world to the wonders of electricity in the form of a device I call the flu crank what they don't know is that 80% of every crank's energy output gets channeled out of the Universe to be used by US no more Goole boxes I got to tell you Z with no disrespect I really think what you're doing here is unethical it's not cool what you got the people on this world slaving away Ming your power I mean that's what I call slavery no no no they work for each other in exchange for money which they then well that just sounds like slavery with extra steps eek Bara durkl somebody's going to get laid in college Rick a word what the hell was that I know eek Bara durkl it's a pretty [ __ ] up o laa no what are you doing telling this guy that his miniverse is unethical do you not see the hypocrisy here holy crap you're right Morty hypocrisy somewhere on this planet there's got to be an arrogant scientist prick on the verge of microverse technology which would threaten to make zep's flal cranks obsolete forcing Zep to say micr verses are bad at which point he'll realize what a hypocrite he's being his people will go back to stomping on their gooble boxes and you and I will be on ice cream Street baby eating that [ __ ] ice cream slurping slurping slurping it up why why are you making that face holy [ __ ] it's me I've convinced the people of this planet that I'm a traveler From Another World you don't think that's overdoing it a little I mean you could achieve the same effect with a pair of never mind you know what I shouldn't be so critical I'm an alien places please we're about to [Music] land too fast law enfor M converging on location keep summer safe no no no don't hurt anybody confirm custom defense protocol keep summer safe no physical Force yes processing come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air scanning ass salance psychological option detected gestating gestating come out with your hands up or we will be forced to open fire fire incoming got a device Bom Bomb daddy oh my God Hunter Daddy what the hell Jesus Christ cease fire stay back Hunter daddy Hunter oh my dear sweet God Hunter oh my boy my boy I'm sorry I'm sorry it was all my fault I'm sorry Daddy leave the car alone what what leave the [Music] Hunter go oh my God go stay here Hunter no God Hunter all of you have loved ones all can be returned all can be taken away please step away from the vehicle keep summer safe and if you continue to turn your flal cranks I will bring you other great alien advancements hey uh let me ask you something yes any of your uh scientists working on anything new all of them that's their job yeah yeah yeah but I mean like energy wise anyone working on say a little Universe in a box how do you know about that it's top secret so remember a crank a day is not nearly enough crank it I told them this means peace among Worlds how hilarious is that re really funny Zep hey Z the fake president of your fake world that's something fake important to show you it's not much now but once I learn to accelerate the temporal field I'll be able to interact with any sentient life that evolves and introduce them to the wonders of electricity via a Puli based device I call a blue yank but what they won't know is you'll be taking most of their energy yeah yeah yeah I get it it's show [Music] time you do realize this will make the fubble crank obsolete this is wrong Kyle what you're doing is wrong you're basically this is slavery you're talking about creating a planet of slaves told you Zep oh they won't be slaves they'll work for each other and pay each other money that just sounds like slavery with extra steps what wait a minute did you create my universe is my universe a miniverse microverse uh teenyverse you bastard much obliged what the hell is happening this is healthy trust me you're my battery [ __ ] that's all you are I made you your microverse sucks and your miniverse is the size of a [ __ ] Lobster tank it's whack are they not really aliens no they're just a couple of crazy wacky scientists you know so he made a universe and that guy is from that universe and that guy made a universe and that's the universe where I was born where my father died where I couldn't make time for his funeral because I was working on my universe I made you yeah science huh ain't it a thing you know one time Rick accidentally shot his laser pistol right through my hand you know I mean like old lady science you know she she's she's she's a real you got to hang on tight you know because she she she bucks pretty hard oh boy what oh my God no terse come come on come on come on pterodactyl [ __ ] when I get out of this teeny verse I'm going to smash it to pieces with you in it yeah well when I get out of this teeni verse I'm going to get out of the surrounding miniverse and then the microverse around that and guess what don't make things worse Rick uh he's not going to destroy your Universe you know we we needed to start our car that's what you used my universe for to run your car yeah but don't flatter yourself there's always AAA you [ __ ] [ __ ] what's he doing what's he C crafting I can craft stuff too pal just like I crafted your reality you crafty son of a ow I crafted the guy that created the planet you're standing on yeah and I made the stars that became the carbon in your mother's ovaries I didn't ask to be bored all right that's it I'm out I'm going to go into the Wilderness and I'm going to make a new life for myself among the tree people it can't be worse than this sure okay Morty just be back before Sundown or the tree people will eat you that's a myth why are you trying to start a myth it's a prehistoric Planet Morty someone has to bring a little culture and it it certainly can't be someone whose entire culture Powers my break lights go go go oh my God oh God what are we going to do now I am unable to destroy this Army to clarify I am quite able to destroy this Army but you will not permit it correct you also refuse to authorize emotional counter measures if you're talking about the melting ghost babies yes please no more of that confirmed I am currently constructing a security measure in compliance with your parameters but I do want to say you are not making this easy you know you're kind of a dick right my function is to keep summer safe not keep summer being like totally stoked about like the general Vibe and stuff that's you that's how you talk [Music] hey that's my [Music] deer I hope your God is as big a dick as you my God's the biggest dick that's never existed why do you think I'm even [Music] here you're here because you created someone smarter than you oh I thought we were both here because I created a universe of [Music] idiots K Shala holy [ __ ] Morty I haven't seen you in months you're leading the tree people huh that's a step up we have no leaders we follow only the will of the forest ooh wow gay that is pretty gay you two call yourselves Geniuses but you have spent this time learning nothing come with me into the Forest there is something I wish to teach you this is cool Allah the spirit tree for Generations it has guided the you have to get us the [ __ ] out of here these people are backward Savages they eat every third baby because they think it makes fruit grow bigger everyone's gross and they all smell like piss all the time I'm I I miss my family I miss my laptop I masturbated to an extra curvy piece of Driftwood the other day look I I don't care what it takes you two are putting aside your [ __ ] and you're working together to get us back home no can't do Morty I just can't I just don't see how I can Dona you're smart you'll figure it out you have 10 seconds to get out of the ship 10 9 all not bad I guess you're an okay Proto recombinator I've certainly seen worse ionic cell dioxidation if this works drinks are on me if drinks are on you you're going to need a second mortgage on that Tower I'm an alcoholic opium addict all right okay okay okay wrap it up you guys are the [ __ ] worst your gods are alive [ __ ] you [ __ ] nature and [ __ ] trees yes you did it yes hey uh how about that drink sure I just need to go grab my wallet from inside my ship oh is your wallet in your ship that's where the transporter is too so why don't we come with it's cool I'll be back in a sec you know how long a second can take in a microverse oh run Morty that [ __ ] is willing to risk everything he cares about just to defeat me he's psychotic Morty hop on my back why go go SES ski [Music] shoes eight still oh hey guys I just finished cooking us a feast you monster wao Bad Tour seven hey you got to sign out nothing you do matters Your Existence is a lie if that were really true then I'm here to see Ron mendleson third floor would you like to go to dinner no you may have created this universe Rick but I live in it [ __ ] what are we going to do Rick where we're so screwed he's going to get to the ship and smash the microverse and then then he's going to kill us quick Morty you got to turn into a car what a long time ago I implanted you with the subdermal chip that can call upon dormant Nanobots in your bloodstream to restructure your anatomy and turn you into a car oh my God concentrate Morty concentrate and turn into a car Morty never mind here's a taxi get in it's fine six hey Z happy Rick's kiving [ __ ] [Music] we did it Morty now let's get out of here and destroy this whole universe excuse me five sir holy hell sir hold your fire what's going on I have brokered a peace agreement between the giant spiders and the government thanks to the skilled diplomacy of this mysterious space car from this day forward human and spider kind will live side by side in peace we will stop bombing them and they will no longer use their telepathic abilities to make us wander into webs for later consumption instead we will work together to make this world a better place for all no matter how many legs what do we do about the space car leave it alone I mean what did it really do anyways kill a guy and paralyze his buddy not a bad trade for spider piece all right that's it move out I love this spider summer is safe all right I get it rick don't do it you quit school but you still got some learning to do class dismissed jeez you all right uh-huh what are you doing Rick I'm pretty sure the battery's dead oh you think so huh Morty let's see hey wait huh I don't get it of course you don't but zeep did he knew that once I got back to my car one of two things was going to happen I was going to have to toss a broken battery or the battery wouldn't be [Music] broken peace among worlds Rick Jesus yeah listen to that baby purr you were right Morty we really just needed to be honest with those guys all right here we go go thank you see Morty this is what it's all about this is why we do what we do uhhm ew what the hell Jesus there's flies in my ice cream presidential decree all ice cream is now for all beings no matter how many legs what the [ __ ] did you do summer it was your ship your stupid ship did don't blame my ship my ship doesn't do anything unless it's told to do something I don't even want to hear it summer it's all your boobs are all hanging about you ruined ice cream with your out toy [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] did you get any of that it's a good show [Music] I love that new t-shirt smell chicks are going to be all up in our Biz when they see us wearing these Rick and Morty custom te's I bet we could sell these Hells yeah I [ __ ] love merch the burn quick Morty protect the shirts it's the door open the door Rick is it Morty will you stop trying to okay there it's open Jesus my skin is on fire why is the rain doing that my acid rain will destroy all things green and natural or my name isn't diesel [Music] weasel huh well that guy's easy to please your acid rain is an acid pain in the butt diesel weasel the chick in need of a dialogue pass first order of business is to clean up this acid rain with a little swin ow ow my leg wow and now an elemental punch that's too hot to handle oh wow curse you plantina I'll get you next slime there's only one solution for Earth's pollution you wow Morty if you say wow one more time I swear to [ __ ] God you crazy Rick she's right there yeah get that aluminum Morty it's 8% of the earth we'll need every atom thanks every litter bit helps your problem excuse me sorry I I wanted to say no problem you're welcome and it came out your problem I I'm I'm an idiot sorry you're not an idiot you recycled I I'm Morty nice to meet you Morty I'm plantina and I hope you have a wonderful day hey the [ __ ] are we doing here uh you like soft serve there's a shop around the bin oh I don't eat ice cream ve is a product of the dairy industry oh that's not good no it is not oh my God come on let's go I know a place that serves cruelty-free Donuts if you'd like I could fly you and your friend there easy peasy lemon squeezy okay I I'll I'll ask him he he said he can't come let's go what the [ __ ] was that [ __ ] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] the Earth is in danger pollution and waste are ruining our planet Mother Nature has Enlisted the help of four young adults from each major ethnicity and when things look bad and I mean really bad they combine the powers of their Elemental rings to create me plantina conservationist super person there's only one solution for Earth's pollution you pretty cool huh I I can't believe I actually hung out with plantina how old is this woman she looks very mature she's essenti an amalgam of natural elements so I don't believe age applies to her great Taylor Murphy dumps me the day before his hella big pool party and my little brother is dating a phase four superhero Just sh me the [ __ ] head until I die hey hey none of that Summerfest look what you're doing to your sister you piece of [ __ ] is it weird that she hasn't texted me yet what have I told you that your grandpa Rick's got something up his sleeve that's so ridiculous that it's going to make you forget all about that stupid [ __ ] that dumped you hey my egg play morg gluts slard ofart and fcus 9 three planets are all ending in a delayed succession of cataclysmic events a jam like this comes around only once in a lifetime morgz's Sun is going Supernova slard ofart is falling into a black hole and fcus 9 is getting deep impacted by an asteroid they're all having a major final blowout and I'm going to drug it up and suck it up before each one goes cammo and I'm taking my favorite grandkid along with me hell yeah 10 seconds on more gluts and you'll be up to your neck and I could give two shits about what's his ass and also herpes oh my God thank you for Rick I'm going to go pack my roly um summer I I I haven't given you my approval yet summer approval is yet to be given here there's a huge forest fire like 200 mil from here this is amazing Planet Cena is bound to be there Mom I need the credit card to buy a train ticket absolutely not Mom this is the biggest wildfire of the year you're not going [ __ ] I'm not last time I checked this wasn't Russia it's not Russia Jerry my heart is broken and I deserve to let loose and if you don't like it you can suck my bigger tit [ __ ] seword Morty I don't want you getting hurt please think this over I don't want to think I want to see a girl I like if you don't want to help me I'll find my own godamn way to the Wildfire I'll get the wine thank you the governor has implemented a mandatory evacuation abandon all hope people nothing will stop this fire nothing scratch that here's Planet Tina savior of Earth ouch talk about a hot foot better put this Wildfire on ice here little buddy come on come on come on I got you Morty what are you doing here oh hey you're here too yeah I heard about the Wildfire back home and you know I stop by ainda hand here here you go fella all safe now ah rabbits always hopping never stopping yeah so it was uh great hanging hanging out the other day I I was getting kind of a I mean I I I got kind of a positive vibe oh good I was putting one out I I really like you holy [ __ ] I I I I mean uh well oh all right the next step you want to go out again I do but uh Morty I have kids oh I'll I'll get along with them I'm a kid no I mean the four kids that bring me into existence by combining the power of their Elemental rings so I can save Earth from ecological disasters oh them no I I I know about them I I like them oh good well here they are now hey buddy you want an autograph that's 20 bucks a pop no Eddie he's my friend Morty these are my kids the Tina tear oh hey Tina girl have you gained weight well I had a plant-based donnut yesterday just a half sugar is wor thing for figure darling you want to be ugly huh I I I thought they'd be younger they've been manifesting me since the mid 90s A lot has changed since then this is freaking you out huh it is a lot to take in I understand well I guess I better go see you around hidey-ho tv58 plantina you singlehandedly saved a national forest with ease I do what I can but I can't do it alone and who's your friend over there oh this is Morty Smith he traveled 200 miles just to save a rabbit from the fire he's a very special guy so are you two dating oh um I yes we are [ __ ] love [ __ ] love all right time to set the rules no whining no crying and absolutely positively no getting attached we're here to smash Max's ass quantity over quality deal deal I'm going to eat so much ass you're going to [ __ ] check this out this is going to be be at the party oh it's is that another ass don't mind if I oh this will be me across the room Excuse Me Miss it appears that you have an uneaten ass allow [Music] me [ __ ] super nova party Love Is A Lie hack the planet the world's ending and for some reason I want to die with you more than anyone else wow Rick don't look now but someone's giving you the big eye excuse me I got to see a man about a horse I'd rather have sex with hello I'm Rick hey so the world's ending and for some reason I want to die with you more than anyone else hello have fun Grandpa Rick no [Music] commitments on an airplane I was afraid but you gave me strength forever birds were so twin [Music] surprise what are you doing here I told my kids I went out to recycle batteries all getting aside everyone should discard use batteries at proper disposal centers instead of tossing them into a regular waist spin thanks for the tip flowers never last TR but we can make it P baby come home to me baby you're home with me soless is collapsing in five zip zops if we time it right we can ski together as the sun explodes sounds amazing say I think I left my purse back at the bar can both of you go get it for me anything for you Mrs Obama time to ghost Grandpa Rick ready right meet me at the car one of these has to be hers where'd she go I guess we'll have to start with her well her loss woo P of number two let's do it sorry I took so long I had to ditch some clingers let's do it up the butt y'all jeez you okay to drive [ __ ] of course I I'm AEL butle up wo the best week of my life hello what was that nothing who wants to see the most radel lady version of a superhero fire water air and dirt oh no the convention Morty wake up we overslept Happ hey there's a little boy on her drop the curtain there is no curtain idiot step her away going wait I security what did you do bring her back sorry folks plantina will be back in a moment until then who wants a limited edition for un for only $50 this is very bad we are about to close deal we cannot afford controversy don't you worry I know how to deal with this Morty kid hey a bunch of us are going over to hibler's place to shoot ourselves you want to come with sorry but no man's tying down susum tonight hit the dicks you're lost honey you could had all this hey check it out there's old people [Music] [Applause] [Music] dancing damn girl your moves is tight hello Rick what the WTF is that morutan doing here morutan she's not more gutan she's the only blue person here without three eyes okay fine but busted this is uh daffne daffne this is summer my granddaughter granddaughter hello daffne heard about our little party crawl and I told she could come with in the trunk what in the actual [ __ ] Rick we said no commitments this was to be our apocalypse party crawl you broke the rules squares follow Rule summer Daphne's down to freak she's up for any sick nasty thing I want to do hello oh yeah baby all right fellas take five he ain't going to give me any trouble where's planet Tina don't you worry about it I want to see her Planet Tina's got a lot of responsibilities people depend on her and you my friend are a distraction we can't afford right now she's just a product to you isn't she something to make money off of well plantina is more than that she's a brilliant living thing and I love her oh you love her well guess what we own her but not for long of course we're going to sell her to some Arab overseas fire as for you maybe she won't love you so much if you ain't so pretty no more stop you want to [ __ ] with me stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] hole [Music] what's happening [Applause] let fire can we conclude our business I'm eager to celebrate my purchase of plantina over dinner and these infant seals aren't getting any younger momentarily comrade soon our partner will return what is taking Eddie so long his phone keep going to voicemail stop leaving a message I can't make it to the phone just kidding it's City go [ __ ] yourself which one of you ordered a pizza no one ordered pizza what is this well I got a Cheesy Italian extra crispy just for you I know those cheekbones like their meon it's emptying mother K fire cold water cold water fire now we can be together Planet Tina I am an individual character I represent no group fire not cool [Applause] why were we cheering hello got any aguar around here Mama's got a hydrate glove box oh yeah Rick is the coolest guy ever we're total soulmates he's going to show me the wonders of the universe H once we get to the next planet Grandpa Rick is going to ditch you like so fast oh is that that so uhhuh nobody is tying that guy down ever the only chick seeing the universe with Rick is me not if I keep Rick's mouth full of these oh my oh my god oh yeah that's right girlfriend this is what you're up against wars were fought over these they've ruined Kings inspired presidents a hundred songs in nine national anthems had been written about them beeta elbow titties on morls and now thanks to Rick the best in the Galaxy you want me to put him away please sure but only because you're Rick's granddaughter DEA DNE where are you baby papa needs some more elbow grease coming you might want to keep your eyes on the road it's about to get sloppy hello hello then I put my sunglasses on and walked out like nothing happened I'm finally free all because of Morty what a romantic story about our son killing a room full of people your turn uh seven 1 2 3 4 5 6 7even I don't punch my lunch eat it I'm out of food cards but I loan you two kich at 10% that's so generous my turn double sixes baby so what's next for plantina well now that I'm not distracted by book signings and publicity stunts Morty and I can concentrate on more important things like school like moving in Planet doesn't have a place to stay now so I said she could live with us holy [ __ ] no what do you mean no don't punch my I wouldn't be a burden Smith I only want to spend as much time as possible with your son my son is 14 Miss I'm sorry Morty you're way too young but you were a teenager when Dad got you pregnant I was 17 that's at least 26 in boy years I'm sure plantina is very nice but when you're a teenager love is fleeting at best you underestimate Morty he is a very mature young man see Mom I told you this is not happening end of discussion plantina I think you should leave please okay Mrs Smith oh no Mom I hate you you suck now it's only a game shut up my whole life I've never fit in anywhere everything I have to say is always met with an eye roll as if the act of hearing what I have to say is some exhausting chore nobody in this family thinks I can say or do anything right I've been all over the universe met hundreds of people and plantin is the only one I've ever met that makes me feel like I belong and you just kicked her out of our house Mor please will never forgive you for [Music] this Morty Morty come back are you [Music] get out all of you get out of there you're killing the planet your people didn't get the votes leave or I'll have you arrested it's you people who should be arrested gutting the land poisoning the air your children breathe can't you see what you're doing easy for you to say you can live how you want we need the jobs let's go boys she can't stop us we'll get them next time there's no time left can't you hear the Earth screaming you fy murderer Tina stop it there's only one solution for Earth pollution oh my God [Music] no no [Music] I can't believe I'm banging my co-workers and I'm the boss this gay sex with my dad is terrific what was I thinking it'll all be over soon last chance to pee on me anyone okay Grandpa the meteor almost here we can go now ah no we still got time well then stoping in love and start having fun oh Love's pretty fun summer give it a chance it's not even real love Daphne's just with you so she can keep surviving ah the young so naive oh gross congratulations forian your apocalypse is aborted and Grandpa you and I can go home Daphne you may come with if you want to and don't have to I know what you're getting at summer obviously Deanie wants to oh you cold [ __ ] Hello Goodbye hey she's the one that saved the world now we got to go to work tomorrow you [ __ ] sorry I messed things up with dapne shut up I get it really you're not mad I'm furious but I have to admit it was pretty Rick of you to avert an apocalypse in a tantrum of cynicism just to destroy one dumb relationship still sorry ah I would have done the same for you promise love you grandpar Rick don't make it [Music] weird please go I I I can't see you anymore don't you even want to try try to make it work we were so close you murdered 300 people and you murdered my kids they were going to sell you away forever Eddie was trying to kill me those miners were innocent those innocent miners voted men into power to protect their precious jobs so they can buy more plastic garbage and the corpses of tortured animals the system is broken Morty this is the only way I can save Earth the only way I can save you if that's the only way I I don't want to be saved please go but I love you I I I can't I I can't love you I I I just can't please understand no I'll go but don't you dare ask me to understand plantina I'm so sorry [ __ ] you Morty are you all right she's gone mom she's gone I loved her so much I know you did Honey mommy's here [Music] fall good morning morning slow day huh yep probably because everybody thought the world wouldn't be you know like here today mhm mom and back mom's not talking to us because we had sex yes oh yeah that makes sense happy birthday by the way did you get any of that [Music] who's ready for Rick's famous spaghetti I love spaghetti Thursday oh my God Ricky it's like it's better every time hell yeah you like that that's some good spaghetti Grandpa Rick I am skull emoji but words sauce more sauce oh we got the sauce dad you had a job interview right f but it's nothing a little Banes won't cure this noodle is so a little spicy a little sweet a little spicy a little sweet it's so nice that we're talking you know all talking because we're a family and everything and this is a good time we're having is there any more seconds thirds we spagat as much as you can spet Rick I I got to know like what's the secret ingredient God no why why no why is it always this [ __ ] with you of course it's a person Rick why couldn't it just be spaghetti [Music] [Music] I'm just going to say this as simply as possible and let you not believe me on this planet people that kill themselves turn into spaghetti what I know you're a visual learner so follow me oh hi Dr hot penis you're not supposed to bring patience hi Michael it's okay this alien boy has space cancer and his dying wish is to see dead people so he can feel Superior all you had to say check it out murdered oh gross car crash and suicide oh fre I don't wait what is that smell you know goddamn well what it is baby get in here oh don't do that you've been doing it for weeks every spaghetti night come on Morty choot you plane come on God damn telling you why how their cortisol increases the starch content in their bloodstream changing their intestines into one long spaghetti noodle and the surrounding tissues into a spicy sweet he at that we would call A B but it takes a lot of cortisol like a suicidal amount it's almost better cold wouldn't go that far don't be a hipster excuse me are you two eating a corpse it's okay it's spaghetti Morty they don't know what that is I'm calling the police before you do that just rck stop what where am I in a morg eating bodies what stop using that thing what thing who are we we were just leaving all you had to say whose car is this whose sun visor is this what's a sign Jesus sorry that's always embarrassing but you see what I mean now best spaghetti in the galaxy and it's 100% guilt-free I want to know their names who Michael coiner number one the people we've been eating every spaghetti night do you even know their names I'm not giving you your spaghetti as names you found my line Morty I I find that ghoulish I want their names or I'm telling Mom and no more spaghetti KN you suck where's the thing where's the Men in Black things names and if you know the [ __ ] names of your spaghetties that's it this is done that's all I ask w't get overwhelmed with even more guilt and then demand to go to their [ __ ] funeral just their names and then I'm done I promise I [ __ ] hate you I just want to pay my respects the only reason you're still alive is because you don't turn delicious when you [Music] die thank you for that moment of silence I'd like to open it up to the congregation if anyone would like to say a few words about Lawrence or another moment of silence jeez no wonder he killed himself okay let's oh hi um I just want to be honest about something after Lawrence died we uh ate him wait we're not werewolves or anything we we come from a planet where to us when you guys kill yourselves you turn into what my Planet considers food spaghetti gy it brought us together Lawrence brought us together it just felt wrong not having anyone know that but he was delicious I I hope that helps make it right that should do it buddy everybody enjoy your closure so we were eating people I'm afraid so they were so spaghetti esque yes they were it's going to be hard hard to put out of your mind yes which is why I thought it best to keep you all in the dark so Morty ruined spaghetti nights correct summer it was people it was people summer which is disgusting and not cool to lie about correct but it should also be noted to Morty that it's not cool to tattle Dad they were delicious so keep eating them we can't now because of you sorry Morty that was terrible parenting you did the quote unquote right thing we are technically very happy to be better informed first octopus now this have we thought about just giving up and joining the fascist half of the country just saying they get to do more well I guess I'll go to my room since everyone hates me now oh sorry good night Morty night Mor good night Morty hey big boy are you depressed oh mama likes depression oopsie I spilled my milk now we're both sad I'm a bad therapist farm girl Hello Morty Smith you are invited to 41 Kepler B you know it as spaghetti Planet you're not in trouble we just want to talk can that thing support my weight it should okay um up here jeez ever heard of a ramp this is a ramp uh-huh hi Morty I'm the president of this planet I saw the video of you at that funeral I'm sorry don't be it was quite the Revelation uh would you mind showing us this is the spaghetti of a person that took their own life they did consent to be eaten uh okay wow yeah amazing as always not going to lie and would you consider yourself a typical earthian well on Earth it's considered inferior to be typical so we're all very special and different but we definitely all do like spaghetti all 8 billion of you Morty how would you feel about being a kind of Ambassador alazon between our worlds oh now hold on I I went to that funeral because because you felt bad because you didn't have permission show him my name is Tanya Radcliffe I've been living in pain for years I've lost all my loved ones I've got nothing so when doctors told me I could finally have the right to die if I agreed to be dinner for some alien boy I simply said I hope I'm delicious God damn and would you say that makes it taste better it makes it go down a lot easier oh I like that maybe it's time we allow some people the right to die and be delicious please feel free to finish Tanya it is what she wanted no no I I think I'm good thanks Tanya you really were tasty actually can I take her to go who's ready for more ethical spaghetti yeah I love this ethical [ __ ] full admission I was fine before too is so good has the parmesian where's Dad why does he keep missing spaghetti KN I guess he got butt hurt because Morty H rooted him and got us a delicious spaghetti without all the lies and nihilism in another cheer for the added bonus of no rck boom sorry to interrupt Morty's perfect spaghetti night but thought he'd want to see this whoa what the [ __ ] is that moro's suicide spaghetti is 100% ethical single origin pasta oh dear God let me guess you went back to the planet gave some thoughtful insight to their leader and now they're selling their dead at every space Walmart I I did but I didn't say to do this is this people or not people I just need to know how much I should pretend to be upset this seems to be Roger hi I'm Roger Wayne martyr I was a serial killer in Cannibal and now I get to kill myself and be food for you which I suppose is a silver lining to all my misdeeds anyway please enjoy me so yes to people wow I I mean on the bright side I I feel like one could look at this as a really nice epilog to to a story about telling the truth uhhuh care to see that epilog what is all this cans of spaghetti selling out to every neighboring Planet want to go see how ethical it is down there this is spaghetti Planet what happened you happened you happened all over those Billboards oh jeez oh no see that they call that bridge the most scenic jump they're used to be safety rails they melted them down for giant spaghetti strainers you want to turn on the radio I get it it's all Ena nope all morning Zoo teams just patter no songs oh and for TV wall to--all reality television but not the good kind it's like their whole planet was bought by Discovery Jesus Christ this is depressing that's definitely what they're going for look at this [ __ ] they died their son institutional gray that's not easy kind of impressed and all of it is thanks to oh God I'm a murderer oh no Morty what you did was much more indirect I understand your concerns but look around with what's coming in from Intergalactic spaghetti trade we've decreased our debt are making a lot of money we've got clean energy that space where you paused is where you should have said Mental Health Care all right we had to put our fingers on the scale a little but if we stop this the supply chain crumbles and kills the global economy how many people will suffer then okay tough problem definitely a spicy me the ball but but we can fix it right Rick mean me you want me to fix it uh a moment yes I want you to fix it none of this would have happened if you'd been honest about the spaghetti Morty I lied to protect you you told the truth to hurt me I can't travel the Galaxy with you if every time we come near our [ __ ] up system you leap into its wires and electrocute yourself I promise to stop you what if you help me I I promise I'll never look under the curtain at a rick thing to figure out what's bad about it ever again and you can never say no to me what are you Keith reri for two weeks fine my grandson kissed my ass so I'm in Okay so we we just need to figure out something else besides people to put in the cans right but people are the spaghetti that's the whole thing but what if they weren't I'm listening me too I mean what if we make something like a person like Rick you're always doing clones right what are you suggesting here a sped up lifespan and indoctrination program limiting their exposure to the world and convincing them that becoming spaghetti is their destiny I won't be delicious for them I love you clone 5617 B that was some speedrun have never let me go huh spoilers Rick I guess all clone stories turn out the same way so we're back to the regular people regular suicides no no hold on hold on we can do this maybe we make them less people how much of a people do they have to be to become spaghetti ooh gray areas my specialty subject one no frontal lobe no empathy centers otherwise the same physiology as a person unfortunately to this guy there's no difference between life and death so no spaghetti then there's this one it's in horrible unimaginable pain from the moment it's born oh jeez oh no Rick so I didn't even bother to make it because I knew you'd take issue even though you'd be doing it a favor by ending its life [ __ ] you you might want to examine the trolley problem at some Point Morty anyway here's the last one kept the brain stem internal motor functions but essentially just a headless boneless torso there's spaghetti inside that theoretically yes the problem is the you know C Could you um like what is that what what are you is this charades okay okay are you making a fist wa was that supposed to be a phone ah [ __ ] it just spell it out for me um maybe give them a claw like hand so they can you know stab themselves to death all you had to say well this is some solution you guys have cooked up [Music] spaghetti technically good enough for me we need to fill 100,000 cans by the weekend so let's fire up these chunky boys T right torso R the new spaghetti sucks we want authentic spaghetti were you going to blow yourself up yeah but if you want to do it you clearly have a morally Superior position so please go ahead you just want me to kill myself so you can eat the spaghetti right [ __ ] alien piece of [ __ ] F Fu you how long does a society take to collaps let's find out hey what's the [ __ ] hold up I've got an entire planet waiting on delivery they say they're out of spaghetti then let's go down there and make some kill yourself kill kill yourself kill kill kill kill yourself I understand divert half of the Armed patrols to civil unrest the other half to planetary defense take every action necessary to restore order still didn't hear much diverting towards mental Healthcare the brainstorming is over you ghoulish little corpse eating alien you've helped enough [ __ ] we owe so much spaghetti to so many planets that we're all going to have to kill ourselves Slow Down slow down Rick and ize anything he gets a sample of can't we still try that I mean is there anyone else left who might want to kill themselves there's one but good luck two months to live bedridden terrible pain whoa why hasn't he done it yet [ __ ] you spaghetti child for gives I'm in pain and I wish I could die but I won't feed your sick system of profit integrity means living with pain what have I told told you this would end the spaghetti trade forever what do you mean I'll explain on the way did you have a like a euthanasia chamber ready to go it's just a place hey hey everyone stop stop I have a solution to get you all spaghetti we're going to do this one last time this guy here he's going to do the deed and I'll synthesize it this is the Kitty Hawk of our right Brothers flight or the fill in the blank from your filling the planet now Fred just think about your life this machine will put it on screen for everyone to see when you're ready press the button do do you think this is going to work trust me [Music] [Music] maybe I don't really want to know how your garden grows cuz I just want to fly lately did you ever feel the pain in the morning rain as it soaks you to the maybe I just want to fly want to live I don't want to die maybe I just want to breathe maybe I just don't believe maybe you're the same as me we see things I'll never see you and I going to live forever I said I don't want to know Howard grows cuz I just want to fly lately did you ever feel the pain and the morning rain as it soaks you to the Bone maybe I will never all the things that I want to be now is not the time to cry Now's the Time to find out why I think you're the as me we see see you and I going live [Music] forever maybe I don't really want to know how your garden grows as I just to fly lately did you ever feel pain in the morning rain as it soaks you to the maybe I just to fly to live don't to die maybe I just want to breathe maybe I just don't maybe you're the same as we see things that never see you and I are going to live [Music] forever to Forever bone appe [Applause] Petit well [ __ ] I think I can speak on behalf of my people we've had enough spaghetti you did it didn't you you couldn't change everyone's taste buds but you could make it just tasteful it wasn't the death was it it was the complexity of life God what's the point if you're asking whether this was a story about right and wrong the answer is I don't care so what do we do cells consume Morty life itself is wrong and that means death is right but you can't side with that so you live even when it means eating and Fred here really did it well the hell is this where is the spaghetti why don't you go [ __ ] yourself summer what's wrong with Salsbury steaks at least try them holy [ __ ] this is the best Salsbury steak I've ever had is it actually Salsbury steak do you want to know or not no than just so you know it's really bad whatever you say seriously I'm not kidding I won't tell you but I need you to know the truth is horrible so that if you ever find out on accident you can't blame me now that's a deal honestly if you knew you might kill yourselves that's the last thing I'll say forever [Music] [Music] [Music] that's where vacuum cleaner bags come from oh my God did you get any of that wow another adventure where I went up an ass oh good are we having this fight again let me guess you're going to leave or or throw a sulking fit I think you know everything Rick but you're you're basically just a giant 8-year-old not doing this anymore either you're in or you're out Morty I'm tired of you weaponizing this half-ass threat you want out then [ __ ] quit you know what you're right sorry to be such a high maintenance Morty why don't I get you a drink oh oh hey Morty hey Rick you drunk yet you're my little buddy you know that it's you and me Morty Rick Rick and Morty 100 years forever yeah pal Rick and Morty 100 years forever get off me what what are you doing an I patch you know how we feel about Pirates oh my [Music] [Music] god do your worst you little bastards kill me do it do it [Music] right it works now we can visit infinite universes but doesn't that mean infinite other families can do the same honey infinite families don't invent the world's first it works oh do you realize how free and empowered I just made us I did it best father ever [Music] got [Music] and how were the horrors of the infinite today sir just another day in paradise mother [ __ ] [ __ ] well not the stealthiest technique but if this guy doesn't know I'm hunting him he's not worth hunting it it's just good to see you outside the sub basement even if you never killed a version of yourself that killed your wife giving it your best shot it looks good on you thanks buddy it means a lot that your bar for mental health has gotten lower than mine a good wind stays under the wings baby merging Dimensions to consolidate my decoys huh kind of first thought but the craftsmanship pretty impressive for a lesser Rick what the [ __ ] are you doing [ __ ] evil Morty should I grab the net yes hang tight Morty's getting the net wait is this what I think it is of course it is everything's what I think it is you're basically fracking the central finite curve to flush out a version of yourself shouldn't you be turning yourself into a pickle what do you care what I due to the curve I thought your whole gimmick was [ __ ] off certainly what made me a fan you're right I don't live here which is why it's insane that you're still bugging me the shock waves have more range than I thought Jesus you heard a compliments a monkey humping a shotgun has more range than he thought look at the scanner don't touch why would I touch it when I don't want it improved improved you're hitting infinite targets at least filter for probability stasis I was going to duh I can't find the net should should we just shoot him you really think a douche that smug doesn't keep a force field on yeah listen to Pop Pop Morty H I'd be an idiot if I didn't check uhhuh well I'm not going to backpedal every time I do it you you changing something he's filtering for probability stasis are you still here and are you just teeing them up now what see is that the guy probably you're acting like this one's different he is different but different doesn't mean him could be a trap I'll explain he's worried that it's actually your Target and he'd owe me credit for the kill are you serious right now you little narcissist dude literal Glass House you think you're better than me Jesus I hope so can I offer my two cents no Morty no well that's [Music] different all right yes everybody look at the bright side evil Morty got to experien being wrong before he died it's true that's what I get for talking to you instead of killing you what is this place I assume a box to contain Ricks that get too close to the big guy are you basing that on what you do since you're all the same I'm basing it on The Ensemble of thematic Ricks huddled opposite your POV fresh meat pick a lane buddy yeah you can't do the fresh meat line while cowering and Shadow you get here same way we did hunting Rick Prime how did you arrive with two mortis attachment is death bro that's what I've learned chasing this guy instead of Rick explaining how we all ended up in a roach motel let's pull some data who got here first me I knocked off three clones for this door prize oh wow three he killed my wife we know son of a [ __ ] you killed my wife is it just this is this the torture looks like there's enough of you to start the next ride that or just one really heavy Rick this whole thing is automated which I do point out specifically to enhance the humiliation here we go if you're seeing this you're me except you know less but you acted like you were better so I killed your beloved Diane hardly to devastate you mostly so I only have to record one message some of you may have noticed that it's not just your Diane that's gone she's also been erased from every Universe across infinity and you might be wondering why I'd rather hear how Diane was wiped from all existence by the weapon too cool for a name the Omega device known to inferiors as the Omega device I heard the name from an inferior and it's my weapon but it's your fault I had to use it on her so if you want to see the Rick that ruins your life look around there's so many of you but that's why I want to make a deal one of you is going to get your Diane back he's lying he's lying all you have to do is be the last Rick [Music] left got that out of your system he can't bring her back wait wait wait I'm a nice Rick pass you're such a dick we could have worked together actually I'm nice enough to not lie about this I was definitely going to kill you [Music] guys oh hey guys CLE RI take the shot I thought you wanted to work together just until you could kill him and they call me evil Morty the easiest way out of any box is to be the least shaped like a box we both hate Rick Prime more than each other anyway where'd you get that he's the worst Rick big deal the worst turd is a pizza wa tough customer how how is the worst turd a pizza oh sh oh [ __ ] seems like he doesn't play well with others we all cool just killing this guy yeah [Music] uh-huh great job Final Rick or if you were just one fat Rick impressive cardio and now now the big reveal do you get Diane back not in any real sense because when I build a weapon it works it's called being talented but I do have a Diane that promises to be with you until death but I'd get to the death part fast you don't want to be in here when this place resets Rick hey Diane you sucked at eating part clearly just said to be hurtful but I also won't deny it I was young God I missed that face Rick you never told me he killed your wife across Infinity yeah now I want to meet this guy too I don't want to talk about this I always thought your dick smelled weird or [Music] that come on baby give my ghost to kiss you taking her to go whoa looks like we survived the Box you should count chickens professionally Morty I didn't trigger that all right let's bail before this oven self cleans what do you think sub ether barrier blocking the portal fluid can't be that mine will get through it here give me that don't freak out I'm going to tweak this carry the two hold the three you need some kind of vector I was getting there the goo the the goo from the trap come on go go go oh jeez that that was insane I I can't believe you were excited for that I'm excited for this clearly no one's escaped that place before really learned your lesson about chasing this guy hey man you can leave now that's true I can the weapon Morty he knows a thing that wipes someone out across all Dimensions could wipe him out across all Dimensions holy [ __ ] so that's the guy you're exhausting can't help it I'm a rascal Morty you can't come evil Morty stay out of my way going to kill my Nemesis freak out he's a weird guy so Rick's right you're afraid of the weapon what happens Rick actually kills this guy you ever think about that maybe he'll kill himself next you're an [ __ ] well yeah I'm not good Morty come or don't I don't care oh [ __ ] got to be honest I totally thought you were coming no no I was I I took a heroic step toward the portal but but then it close yeah yeah come on oh man what's up he built it again pretty impressive oh yeah heuse me with free time all right I don't see a place to park catch your breath and then keep that heat off my back if you die I'm taking your stuff gross all right cool let's do it God damn it what no one can do undercuts but you you brought Morty I'm not worried about him I'm evil um Rick is this you guys don't do anything small huh I'm surprised he hasn't all right here we go there it is wow the wife guy dead wife Rick I'll tell you this guy does not know when to quit I'm going to [ __ ] kill you you brought two Morty with you what they're your cheering section we brought ourselves [ __ ] honestly wife guy I do miss when it was just us the only two who actually invented portal travel anyone else teed up to arrive later like your car I can see why you hate him and she sounds like our wife like like in a [ __ ] up robot way but that's definitely her voice you sentimental little fella right good Instinct I would have tried that too I upgraded this thing by the way the new version can fire more than once so now I can erase your whole family one by one until you find finally learn your lesson which you won't so then I'll kill you too I'll do that the oldfashioned way okay family killing time let's start small still family though where am I two rcks where's my wife I was just with my wife Uncle slow what the uncle slow slow Mobius yeah this one hurts me too [Music] how of the worst possible time to use his powers just made the death happen slower I'll kill you h m [Applause] [Applause] oh uh original grandson this is super weird obviously we're both trying to kill each other oh jeez nice to meet you I guess so do we should I just get this over with or gr son shitty Grandpa why am I wearing an eye patch and wait did we did we switch shirts yeah thanks for the assist Rick we we did it evil evil Morty CAU him Rick Rick all right you two Punk stay [Music] here okay I think I'm getting the picture ow frying my backups smart so you're like an evil Morty a clever One ow all right never been a sidekick guy but I'm starting to see the value you want a job we could be like Batman and Robin h i don't need a robin okay seriously what is this what what are you going to a je me to death oh you don't want those schematics buddy those are for grown-ups uh-huh oh isn't this great okay all right I get it what oh [ __ ] mhm knock yourself out listen Rick to Rick he's got the weapon Plants buddy nip this in the Bud he's 14 what's going to happen the next time he gets mad at Grandpa let's do this then you're welcome by the way I made you I showed you infinity and what did you do with it hang out with my grandson raise Echoes of my daughter what's your life without me let's find out admit it you would have been me I just walked into your garage before you walked into mine but eventually you did you lived in my house what are you doing pretty cool visual you're you're missing it we don't have to talk this didn't make us friends there's our guy Rick I is it over is is he not exactly in Al live amount of blood how's it feel better no exactly the same yeah it always does hope you're happy with your choice [ __ ] off I'm going to just don't force me to improve on the design I can end the Rick EXP experiment anytime I want why threaten why not just do it because using a weapon like this doesn't get you left alone Morty think I want a bunch of vengeful Summers coming after me you are a little different though Rick maybe I can use that someday seriously though [ __ ] you don't come after me it won't go well are are you okay yeah pH man when those drones uncloak back there I was like oh [ __ ] this [Music] is [Music] still look down [Music] brige it's still raining here everybody seems so away from me everybody just you be free look from the it's no [Music] [Music] [Music] Mama who's that man in our picture oh honey that's that's that's your father you you don't remember your father oh yeah [Music] [Music] did you get any of that [Music] this is just sloppy craftsmanship hey Rick boy sher's really especially beautiful out there today huh oh yes Morty it's it's almost unbelievable isn't it yeah you know there's something about the air and just the way the sunshine is sure buddy yeah sure but brilliant very convincing convincing oh responsive too in real time I love it uh okay I'm going to work Morty good morning Dad good morning I am going to work goodbye what's with Mom oh what's with Mom so you're saying that she's acting weird how sophisticated careful guys you're going to burn out the CPU with this one okay you know what Rick you're acting weird too whatever quote unquote Morty all right well I'll see you after school Ow o oh damn it I'm all right I'm okay all right who can tell me what 5 * 9 is 5 Morty oh me what is 5 time 9 um you know it's uh at least 40 Morty that's exactly correct 5 * 9 is at least 40 come up here way to go Morty everybody this is the best student I want you to be the teacher today teach us Morty interesting what what do you want me to teach you how do you make concentrated dark matter oh that's a good question concentrated huh concentrated dark matter the fuel for Accelerated space travel now do you know how to make it um come on Morty isn't your grandpa like a scientist oh yeah but you know he told me that I shouldn't go around spouting off about you know his science and stuff I bet you've seen him make concentrated dark matter a lot you know if you tell us I'll be your girlfriend oh you will seems like a rare opportunity Morty oh Morty the come on there's a family emergency there if he leaves I'm giving him an F he doesn't care oh man Rick I have to go back I think I was about to get married take a shower with me Morty what listen to me Morty get your clothes off and get in the shower right now Morty you you got to trust me Morty I'm going to get an F in class Rick Morty that's not class that wasn't your teacher this isn't your school this entire world is not the world we're inside a huge simulation chamber on an alien spaceship wait a minute what what are you talking about it's all fake more Mor all of it nanobot renderings a bunch of crazy fake nonsense Morty I couldn't say so until we got in the shower they won't monitor Us in here monitor us who zerian scammers Morty the Galaxy's most ambitious least successful con artists you know it's lucky for us that they're also really uncomfortable with nudity oh come on Rick if everyone's just going to be insane today at least let me be insane with Jessica I can't let you do that Morty give it to me no you give it to me give it [Music] God sir they're still Mak well check every five quintans and tell me when they're not I think we should make Kevin look sir what no why why why would you even say that uh sir we have a situation over here if there's a weener on that monitor I swear to God St something is drawing a lot of processing power oh wait no wonder there's another real human in the simulator okay Jerry big pitch Meer meeting take a break time you can do this how did this happen where's the abductions Department Hey man abductions just follows the acquisition order don't put this on Acquisitions we only acquire humans that haven't been simulated well simulations doesn't simulate anybody that's been abducted so oh I see oh oh it was no one's fault oh okay I'm sorry well then problem solved oh wait no there's still another human in here who is he Rick's son-in-law Jerry Smith so far he hasn't noticed in a simulation well cap his sector 5% processing keep his settings on auto and we'll deal with him later Rick Sanchez is the target got to relax it's just a pitch got to relax this is Earth radio and now here's Human music H Human music I like it [Music] Rick Morty keep your hands off your ding-dong it's the only way we can speak freely look around you Morty do you really think this world is real you'd have to be an idiot not to notice all the sloppy details look that guy's putting a bun between two hot dogs I don't know Rick I mean I've seen people do that before well look at that old lady she's she's walking a cat on a leash Mrs Spencer does that all the time Rick I don't want to hear about Mrs Spencer Morty she's an idiot all right all right there what what about that Morty okay okay you got me on that one oh really Morty are you sure you haven't seen that somewhere in real life before no no I haven't seen that I mean why would a Pop-Tart want to live inside a toaster Rick I mean that that would be like the scariest place for them to live you know what I mean you're missing the point Morty why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels I mean does your car look like a smaller version of your house no so why are they doing this what do they want well that would be obvious to you Morty if you'd been paying attention we've got the president of the United States in here we need 10 cc's of concentrated dark matter Stat or you'll die concentrated dark matter they were asking about that in class yeah it's a special fuel I invented to travel through space faster than anybody else these Nigerians are always trying to scam me out of my secrets but they made a big mistake this time Morty they dragged you into this now they're going to pay what what what are we going to do we're going to scam the scammers Morty and we're going to take them for everything they've got National Apple farmers of America Welcome to our Ad Agency I'm Jerry Smith all right I'll just get to the pitch um simple question gentlemen what are apples excuse me what are apples apples are food and when do we need food when we're hungry with that I give you your new slogan well say something do you like it yes you do yes so I sold it I sold the idea oh my God thank you thank you welcome thank you you're welcome Hey I just sold my first pitch slow down looking good my man hello guess who just sold the apples campaign who just sold the apples campaign me I guess it wasn't a ripoff of got milk after all guess someone was wrong yes well All Is Forgiven because right now I've got an erection the size of an East Coast Lighthouse and I'm coming home to share it with my beautiful wife okay wait really yes yes see you in 10 minutes hey I'm going to make love to my wife looking good slow down my man oh jeez Rick I don't know if I like this plan you know I mean crowds they they they they have a tendency to make me really nervous Mory relax it's just a bunch of ones and zeros out there you're going to be fine just follow my lead yo DJ drop that [Music] beat oh Morty this crowd looks too small for one of our famous rap concerts I don't think we can perform our new song the recipe for concentrated dark matter for a crowd this tiny you got that right Rick now that's more more like it here we go let me hear everybody say heyo yeah all the ladies say yeah everybody over 30 do this with your hand everybody with a red shirt jump up and down [Applause] yeah don't move yo everyone whose first name begins with an L who isn't Hispanic walk in a circle the same number of times as the square root of your age time [Music] 10 run Morty before the system reboots yeah you like that now who's un markable are you hungry for apples are you hungry for apples oh my God that's the best sex I've ever had in my life it's it's too good I don't deserve this Beth I'm a fraud oh man Rick where are we running to out of the simulation Morty normally the chamber operates like a treadmill with the virtual world disappearing behind us and being rendered in front of us as we move through it but while it's frozen Morty we can get to the edge here we go holy crap come on Morty sir they're over the edge yes they are just as [Music] planned oh this is going to be such a mind keep your eyes peeled for the central processing room Morty that's how we're going to scam these idiots so hey why do these aliens keep coming after you Rick if you're so much smarter than them it's an obsession for them at this point theeran have been trying to outsmart me for years Morty every time they do one step ahead of them aha here we go grab as many processors as you can carry Morty these guys aren't good at much but they're really good at making these chips I've got so many I can barely hold them all look at look at this oops I dropped one don't worry about it Morty there's plenty of them you'll goofball come here Morty got you come on quit it rick quit it nothing wrong with just a little bit of horse play every now and then little [Music] fella wow what do you know huh that was easy tots malotes dog it's just kind of hard to believe you know believe it Morty and once again I'm flying away with with everything I can carry and the zerian got nothing to [Music] mine Mr marovitz do you have a minute to talk yes look I'm a fraud I mean let's face it hungry for apples is just a ripoff of got milk it's almost identical yes okay I deserve that um I guess I'll just back up my desk yes oh my God wait you know what no the milk people don't have a patent on simple rhetorical questions you know there's not even a single word in hungry for apples that's shared by got milk it's a completely different slogan it's different and I shouldn't be fired I should be promoted yes yeah wait really yes yes I mean I I it may be derivative but it's the most successful campaign to come out of this this agency in a long time yes I'm not saying it should win an award for commercials but it could certainly be nominated for an award for commercials specifically about apples like an apple or something yes is there really an award called the Apple for Apple related ad campaigns yes could we nominate me yes holy crap you did it Morty I'm going to be able to use these processors to make some real important science stuff huh I thought I entered the code [Music] right what's this what what could this possibly be because it looks like you're inside a simulation inside a simulation you're still on the ship game day bucket go boom sir the uh doctor's appointment to examine the discoloration on your butt whole flaps with too loud Cynthia too loud and too specific uh we've known how to make concentrated dark matter for a long time but now we also know the code to your fabled safe Rick Sanchez all your most valuable Secrets will now be ours oh yeah until I get home before you and change the combination you bunch of idiots that is why you're never getting home get them [Music] oh my gosh [Music] I got to tell you this morning I didn't even know this award existed now I'm holding one and um look I want to say that today was the best day of my life but the truth is it's it's it's more meaningful than that my man yes thank you sir I am finally complete what the hell no Jerry what are you doing here why why are you dressed like a waiter screw it we don't have time come on no [Music] [Music] oh yeah [Music] man up Jerry I may need you to work the lasers oh man they're hot on our tail Rick I guess they really do have concentrated dark matter well you know how to make it too right Rick yeah yeah yeah yeah uh check the engine room we just need cesium plutonic quarks and bottled water oh it's all here Rick wow I'm already lucky break grab that bucket okay two parts plutonic quarks one part cesium okay uhhuh all right now empty the water bottle into the bucket and pour it all into the fuel tank so we can get the hell out of here what are you doing Morty there's no time no what the no oh my God Rick how dumb are you you're inside a simulation of a simulation inside another giant simulation we never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter but we do now we do now sucker you simulated my grandson's genitalia you you bunch of diabolical sons of [ __ ] Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project you said you weren't going to tell anyone I'm never going to live this down okay all right great wonderful you win can we go home now I don't know can you nice Okay Okay show this gullible turd to a shuttle I'm done with him oh wait let me get a picture oh look at his face he's trying to figure out if he's in a simulation still are you Rick are you you're not or are you oh and and by the way I don't have discolored butthole flaps that was part of the simulation oh uh sir should I cancel that appointment then yeah of course you should no keep it move it up actually if you can hey Jerry don't worry about it so what if the most meaningful day of your life was a simulation operating at minimum capacity you know what Rick those guys took you for ride too you should try having a little respect for the dummies of the universe now that you're one of us H maybe you're right Jerry maybe you're right oh that was awesome all right everybody two parts plutonic quartz one part cesium and listen I'm sorry for yelling earlier I I I couldn't ask for a better staff I love you guys and I love all your families and the final ingredient idiot wow what the hell what what happened back there why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe Jerry oh yeah you can't they blew up brand [Music] so what do you think you're fired but this this idea was tested in a state-of-the-art simulation well then it was a terrible simulation get out man how does a guy like that go home and have sex with his wife hey Morty hey hey little buddy how how you doing in here right now oh jeez Rick what are you doing man you're you're a good kid Morty you're a real little character Morty oh boy I had a really rocky road today Morty you're my little friend aren't you we had some good times together huh Morty you're a real true hero out in the field you're a you're a real trooper huh Morty have you been drinking Rick I really appreciate you Morty okay cool all right Rick you little son of a [ __ ] are you a simulation huh are you a simulation you little son of a [ __ ] I'm I'm sorry Morty you're a good you're a good kid Morty jeez you're you're a good you're a good kid oh my God what the hell what a life did you get any of that it's a good show [Music] [Music] last king Christmas last arrived on the Christmas Christmas Jerry you are really giving it to this ham um Merry Christmas hello my parents are coming over for the first time in years can we Stow the gadgets and look alive alive for your parents good one hey man you hey man this holiday is about Humanity you know I thought it was about being born half God or something okay whatever all electronic items are going in the stocking now Dad I'm not giving you my phone put it in the stocking summer or I'm joining Facebook a ho ho ho everybody more like whoa whoa whoa what is this my parents are coming calm down Jerry this is Reuben an old friend Pearl Harbor I check in on him once a year and give him a little medical evaluation aw dad that is so sweet yeah it is I don't get it don't worry about your Christmas Jerry I'll be with Ruben in my workshop while you guys are having another day in Phil Collins proverbial Paradise huh you think you know a guy okay there's my parents now remember no TV no phones no laptops we are connecting this Christmas like old school Jews on a Saturday hey hey Merry Christmas Son hi can I help you Jerry this is Jacob didn't you get our text message no you must be Jerry that's a fine looking apron William Sonoma I wish but thank you so you're a friend of the family well the way we see it he's a part of the family wow after your father's brush with cancer and losing your uncle we looked at life and wondered how have we spent it and how do we spend the rest of it what are we going to be when we die a list of fears and questions or a collection of real experiences holy crap Joy that's amazing then Jacob came into our lives and we're learning to live again oh three of us cool eggnog now we are talking this man's got the apron and the eggnog huh hi Joyce Leonard hello there Merry Christmas man Morty a moment of your time he's in bad shape Morty oh jeez Rick what did you do gee thanks Morty what kind of monster do you think I am I'm I'm I'm sitting here trying to save the guy's life I need your help I want you to find Dr Xenon Bloom he'll know what's going on uh where do I find Dr Bloom reuben reuben Min Minnesota Reuben on the table Morty I don't have time to for you to wrap your little Walnut around everything just hold your breath until the process is over or your lungs will collapse what hey Dad where's Morty he's [Music] busy Morty can you hear me head north Rick where am I depending on my aim you should be just south of the entrance entrance to what welcome Morty welcome to Anatomy Park it's a little business venture I've been cooking up on the side with Dr Bloom it's an amusement park inside a human body science isn't cheap Morty this should really help put a dent in the overhead oh my God this is insane spleen Mountain fladder Falls pirates of the pancreas you got a problem with that last one Morty huh no no I'm just reading them out loud in the order that I'm seeing them okay all right if I sounded a little defensive it's because pirates of the pancreas was my baby you know I got I got a lot of push back when I pitched it Morty I guess I'm still a little defensive let's just find Dr Bloom all right I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver Morty proceed to the liver arriving at liver ow mind the gap it's really scary in here Rick liver's under maintenance Reuben's seen some rough years Morty don't judge you don't agree to have a theme park built inside you if your life's going great Rick it's a monster no no no Morty the only monster here is alcoholism that is an animatronic werewolf who are you answer me where'd you come from my my my grandpa Rick sent me Poncho that's quite enough Morty that's Poncho this is Roger and Annie who and I am Dr Xenon Bloom hey Bloom it's Rick what the hell's going on here I don't know why but the the entire security system has shut down and I'm afraid the exhibits are unlocked exhibits Anatomy Park's greatest attraction young man isn't the music or the food or the pirates of the pancreas watch it it is first and foremost a Living Museum of Humanity's most noble and ferocious diseases diseases hey Doc I got news for you your Living Museum is officially a wild safari tius say run oh the food goes in your mouth girl Jacob I'm sorry Jacob I I guess I'm still confused about the precise nature and origin of your relationship with my parents are you like a are you like their caretaker is that what it is we can go into detail later son now wait that there's no point to secrecy let's all live and die honestly your mother and I have shared 40 Years of each other mind body and soul and when minds and souls are joined for eternity and when eternity is at the door it's an invitation to let go of the body and an opportunity to share and experiment Dad please what are you saying whatever it is it's beautiful Leonard and we support you speak for yourself because it sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover no no no no no no Jacob is your mother's lover I watch them sometimes from a chair and sometimes from a closet almost always dressed as Superman oh Jerry this hem has got to be all you right it's incredible happy human holiday dad hepatitus won't follow us into the respiratory system that's strange air flow is down 20% so the brain isn't getting enough oxygen that's why Security's offline well I guess we better check it out hey wait for me put that back on if we got up to the bronchial catwalk we could look for a blockage I'll go don't be a hero kid I'm not I'm doing it because it's fun we shouldn't be here whatever you do do not fire that thing in here we must save Reuben this is my life work it's all right my dear nearly all human lungs contain a strain of these bacteria but the scar tissue keeps them dormant Morty get down oh what are those things tuberculosis coming in fast not faster than a bullet no do you know what you've done get to the digestive tract he's coughing don't let me die just take a deep breath Reuben you're not going to die what's your name my name is Al Rick R got tuberculosis oh great work Morty okay I'll just cure it and then okay well I can't cure death this is bad Morty you're trapped in a dead man listen if the situation keeps darkening do yourself a favor and pop by pirates of the pancreas obviously I'm biased but I think it's great Morty it's a bunch of P Pirates running around a pancreas we don't whitewash it either Morty I mean the Pirates are really rapy the top priority is to get you know you guys out of there but I'm just saying if that becomes impossible please you got to treat yourself oh man what is that horrible smell you mean the Pandora Express kidding I'm I'm kidding the body is beginning to constrict and fill with gas we're inside a corpse my boy Anatomy Park is doomed forget about the park doctor how do we get out the digestive tract is the evacuation route get it there's an emergency station in the colon with ar Ray that can enlarge us all everybody head for the colon now I'm taking orders from a 12year old boy Morty the scar sa acts containing the tuberculosis was sabotaged this desas master was an inside job keep your eye on Annie she was written up several times by her manager at the churo stand intestines are ahead to the left then to the right then left Etc hey just so you know I'm actually 14 so you know what not 12 okay you know because he just said I was 12 oh good for you o oh Morty Drake one it's a road a of it's a to break [Music] up the goes on like this for Miles then we get to the large intes shh I hear something don't move garia can't see us if we don't move wait I was wrong I was thinking of a T-Rex [Music] move we're setting D doc didn't you say that the body was filling with gas yes why kid you're a genius are you mad everybody in here they garia how's this for a burning sensation drummer drum drum drum drum drum drum drum drum drum Christmas drums sing Summer Christmas drums being played by a [Applause] Bo Jerry come on this is what you wanted I get it Beth be careful what you wish for I'm being punished for taking your iPad what Jerry let that stuff go okay I'm sorry I was a [ __ ] earlier let's just be here summer Ethan what are you doing here I've been texting you for hours what the hell I don't have my phone I'm doing a human holiday well did you even consider how that might make me feel how you feel why is everything always happening to you Summer do you have a boyfriend yeah do you summer I don't know Ethan do I Jerry no disrespect but but you really need to connect more with your family man I should be able to access the backup generator to get the growth Ray online if it works we'll be regular sized in a few minutes I just hope Ruben's not in a room with white carpets or upholstery what the hell is that the fer Dam we built it when Ruben became incontinent but it was not designed to hold a corpse load almost got it everybody move inside the circle Poncho what is this in your backpack that's bonic plague what are you doing with that Poncho everybody get back Poncho you son of a [ __ ] you released the tuberculosis so you could steal from me that's right baby a lot of people would pay top dollar to decimate the population I'll take the highest bidder Al Qaeda North Korea Republicans Shriners balding men that work out people on the internet that are only turned on by cartoons of Japanese teenagers anything is better than working for you you pompus negligent iTunes gift card as a holiday bonus giving come on get off you guys it's going to burst go go go go my foot is stuck no it's okay it's okay just go tell my family I love them they may be hard to find cuz my wife kept her last name and she made the kids take it too so I don't know you can go oh no let me ask you a question Ethan where's the anger coming from man from Summer being a total [ __ ] where's the anger coming from my brother took me fishing once in the bushes I can't I can't he made me feel like a girl I I made me a girl he didn't make you anything man you are who you are she is who she is now you go to her brand new come here right now oh my God I'm so sorry Ethan I love you I love you so [Music] much um you did it again cubby come [Music] here no stop I hate this well Christmas doesn't revolve around what you hate son well then I hate Christmas enjoy being human you guys are gross and lame my name is Ruben Ridley you're inside me right now but by the end of this journey I'll be inside all of you my story begins during the dot crash in the early 9s you can put your fingers wherever you want Morty you want to put it on mute or something I'm I'm trying to concentrate uh Rick not now Jerry I've got much much smaller fish to fry I wanted to say I'm sorry I ever judged you right now you're my sanest relative relative relative size Jerry hand me a scalpel and a bundle of dynamite Morty can you get to the left nipple are you kidding I'm hoping I can get to both of them Rick no Morty I'm talking about Reuben's left nipple we need to get to the left nipple the body is decaying the arterial transit system is useless we can try the surface shuttle it's connected to the skeletal system that's why we call it the bone train would you like to ride the bone train Miss if it'll get us out of here how about you Morty would you like to ride the bone train why are you doing this bit we're going to die let's go well I can see you're busy Merry Christmas Rick there's no autopilot one of us will have to stay here and operate it manually uh well no you're you're right it was a dick move for me to even pause like that this is all my fault you go on what the hell is that E coli outbreak hurry wait there is an autopilot well it's okay never mind I wanted to sacrifice myself [Music] anywhere they're shwing through the doors we're in the areola Rick almost to the nipple but we're also in a really bad situation I'm almost there [Music] Morty reports from all over the country have been coming in about what appears to be a giant naked man over the continental United States we now go to Tom Randolph in New York Tom well the eyes aren't twinkling and the dimples aren't merry but I'm standing under a no like a 70 mile Cherry thank you Tom let's go now to Eric McMahon in Los Angeles we've got feet here on the West Coast Bill giant feet even relative to the giant man's size and you know what they say about that well if the old adage is true one can only wonder what's going down in the Rocky Mountains what [Music] oh my God the track it's hepatitis [Music] A the nipple hole it's beautiful oh no wa it's atius c um wait did we have some sort of relationship with him I think they're just like that I think they're just good guys oh huh where's Dr Bloom I'm sorry Rick but he's dead God damn it Morty I asked you to do do one [Music] thing Jerry doesn't know what he's missing he'll come around Beth Christmas is a special time it has funny ways of bringing families together I don't know Jacob Jerry got an invitation to be alive today and he rejected it I don't know if our marriage will It's Raining Blood oh fine Jerry oh God Jerry it's all right the TV says there's nothing to worry about the giant naked sky centa has exploded blood and chunks of viscera are raining down on the country everything should be fine oh yes Dad can I have my phone back sure sweetie here everybody take a device it'll help you relax this is nice yeah look I guess we really learned something this Christmas Jacob no we didn't no we didn't too bad about Dr Bloom he was a genius the only man capable of creating a new Anatomy Park actually I studied Dr Bloom's work I I I believe I have the knowledge necessary to create an entirely new much safer Park what about pirates of the pancreas I think it was one of the most underrated attractions booya hold your breath hey what the hell Rick what the hell man I liked her I really had something going there Rick yes so I heard heard you dodged a bullet Morty trust me buffy vagina what's wrong with that that doesn't sound like a problem to me I don't know come on let's get some stuffing I'm starving oh unbelievable we got we got a bunch of robot computer people sitting around with their faces stuffed into computer screens do you guys realize that Christ was born today Jesus Christ Our Savior was born today are are you people even human what kind of Christmas is this [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] he hey Rick Rick can you hear me loud and clear Annie great we're also on with Alejandro our chief imaginari Natalie Jacobs and Chris deser from microscopic marketing Zach from organ Concepts and Jamie from New Media hey everybody so pirates of the pancreas yeah talk to me hey it's Alejandra speaking um so we asked ourselves internally we asked ourselves over here okay what does a pancreas do and the answer was does it make Pirates no it makes insulin you know so we're starting with a new those guys are inside me huh like building a park those guys are inside you building a piece of [ __ ] Ethan they're inite you building a monument to compromise those people this whole thing Ethan cool and who pays me did you get any of that it's a good show [Music] [Music] run Mory do it hit the button now I can't do it rick they're my parents and sisters Mory I already told you it's not your family they're clones from an alternate reality possessed by demonic alien Spirits from another dimension's future if you need a pneumonic device or something just hit the button already Morty please I love you [Music] sweetheart good work Morty you know these demonic alien Spirits are really valuable you okay Morty I told you not to trust that tuna I just killed my family I don't care what they were I don't know Morty some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough you know what Rick that's it I'm done with these Insane Adventures that was really traumatizing I quit I'm out whoa whoa whoa come on Morty don't don't don't be like that the universe is a crazy chaotic place you're the one that's crazy and chaotic Adventures are supposed to be simple and fun oh yeah Morty yeah yeah that that's really easy to say from the sidekick position but but uh how about next time you be in charge and then we'll talk about how simple and fun it is seriously Rick you you'll let me call the shots okay yeah fine but let's make it interesting Morty if your adventure sucks and we bail halfway through it you lose the right to [ __ ] about all future Adventures Plus you have to do my laundry for a month okay all right tough guy but if my adventure's good I get to be in charge of every third Adventure every 10th deal all right well well come on let's get going dad the dishwasher is doing that thing again washing dishes no the opposite can you fix it Grandpa rig can you help me with my science homework yeah just don't do it Grandpa hey Rick you got some kind of hand shaped device that can open this mayonnaise jar wow hatrick all right Morty let's put a pin in this I got to help your pathetic family oh that sounds like something a chicken would say B Mor you done did it this time it's on I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart as for you ding-dongs this is a me box let me show you how it works you press this I'm Mr me look at me you make a request Mr me open Jerry stupid man A's jar yes sir the me fulfills the request oh well done wow and then it stops existing oh my God he exploded trust me they're fine with it knock yourselves out just keep your request simple they're not God odds all right get get out of here now everybody out of here I got a bet to win so many possibilities my mind is rising if we're going to use this thing which I'm not even sure we should we need to keep it simple I'm Mr me I want to be popular at school okay summer what did I just oh I'm Mr me look at me I want I want to be more complete woman death oh yeah yes ma'am you guys are doing it wrong he said simple hey there I'm Mr me Mr me I would like to take two strokes off my golf game oo yeah can do nailed it God Morty what a boring start to an Adventure I why don't we just go to Kentucky Rick this is a fantasy type world with creatures and all sorts of fantasy things things we're going on a quest okay can't wait excuse me we are two humble heroes in search of adventure oh my God so embarrassing at last two Heroes you must help us this Village is terribly poor yet the giant that lives in the clouds above has Untold Treasures you know what I I I accept your call to Adventure good sir kind sir come on Rick there's a giant in the clouds yeah beginner's luck in conclusion a friendship with s Smith is the most valuable and enriching experience of your young Lords I'm Mr me me thank you uh Mr me was it yeah Gan vagina listen I'm in a bit of a custody thing with my ex I was wondering no I'll I'll get your info from summer I got pregnant at 17 I mean I still put myself through veterinary school yes I'm successful but what if I hadn't I'm just saying somewhere along the way I lost that wide-eyed girl from MOS geegan she's still there best well her waistline isn't Beth having a family doesn't mean that you stop being an individual you know the best thing you can do for people that depend on you be honest with them even if it means set them free you're saying I should leave Jerry I can't believe I'm finally having this conversation more wine I think I've had enough remember to square your shoulders Jerry yeah yeah I got it that's okay I'm Mr Meek look at me try again and keep your head down okay well which is it Square my shoulders or keep my head down well it's both but most importantly you got to relax you know what Mr me I don't think this is working I give up I'm sorry Jerry but it doesn't work like that I'm Mr Meek I have to fulfill my purpose so I can go away look at me well make yourself comfortable because I suck no Jerry I'm the one who sucks let me try something I'm Mr Meeks look at me I'm Mr Mr me I'm Mr Meek look at me hi can you help me get two strokes off of Jerry's golf swing can do I'm Mr Meek is he keeping his shoulders squared ooh he's trying all right Morty we're we're we're in your stupid Giants Castle what do we do next did you just relax Rick all we got to do is find the treasure room okay it's nice and simple you know I I I'm sorry everything's going so smoothly and adventurously uh-oh Morty starting to get a little hairy what do you want to do boss come on hurry behind this cookie jar by just give up Morty it's the game over I'll take us home right now you just say the word no way Rick this is all part of it Adventures have conflict deal with it I smell the blood of holy crap boy he looks pretty bad down there Morty looks like he's bleeding out oh Jesus tail you sons of [ __ ] oh man hello 911 my husband has been attacked by tiny people he's dying hey look we get it you're little you're down on your luck you think hey he's a giant why don't we break him to his home Rob him and murder him but that's not how it went down oh well it's going down like that you're both going down like that oh boy Morty you're really showing me how it's done real straightforward and fun like letting go of the need to be popular is what makes people like you the most important love you can receive is from yourself okay Jerry you got to just choke up on the club well which is it choke up or follow through oh come on Jerry we've been over this you know you got to do both this is as frustrating for us as it is for you don't tell me that that just puts pressure on me just try to relax you try to relax have you ever tried to relax it is a paradox these Mees huh kind of a handful I can't imagine what you you two must be going through our Meeks have been gone for hours Jerry you're kidding me notice anything different I'm sorry hours dad mom is a beautiful woman look at her you will lose her uh he Jerry you mind if we get back to the task in hand Meeks don't usually have to exist this long it's getting weird all in the court before the jewy reaches its verdict I just want to say that I consider you both very guilty oh great ADV buddy Rick and Morty go to Giant prison you know if somebody drops the soap it's going to land on our heads and Crush our spines Morty you know it'll be really easy to rape us after that we're going to be okay Rick how they took my portal gun this is an open and shut case Morty you know what do you think's going to happen some magical Angels going to show up and5 fum I smell the violation of civil liberties your honor I'm from a tiny person's advocacy group and I have here in my hand a motion to dismiss these little men were never read their giant rights and are therefore free F too home what the hell is he talking about they're free to go is what I meant I I I'm deconstructing our thing we say we're Giants nobody got that whatever oh man what' I tell you Rick we did it all right Morty looks like the portal gun still working you ready to head home oh yeah you'd like that wouldn't you Rick well you know what we're not bailing out just yet you know we're going to go find some treasure or or something and and we're going to bring it to those villagers Morty cut your losses this is obviously a wash yeah you were saying that back back when when we first got arrested but here we are you know walking down the courthouse steps boy Morty usually walking down the courthouse steps is the easy part of the adventure what do you say Morty I say give me a hand side kick everybody shut up let me try damn it damn it damn it I'm going out wait what well you're busy I'm hungry I thought I'd go out do you want me to be happy or do you want me to be in prison whoa whoa where in the hell is I'll take you to dinner come on hey you know what it's hard being me too I'll be right there look I've got a marriage to keep together at this point my golf swing is more your problem than mine I can't take it anymore I just want to die we all want to die we're me seeks why did you even rope me into this cuz he rope me into this well the him over there he rote me into this well he wrote me into this what about me he he wrote me into this well that one over there wrote me into this he wrote me into this yeah Morty this is the part of the story everybody loves scaling down 650,000 oversized steps all right okay you know if this was a story this part wouldn't be included stupid hey Rick whoa whoa whoa whoa what do you know look down there looks like some kind of Tavern or something built right into the side of the step oh wow Rick now this is more like it look there's little staircase shaped people in here all kinds of crazy characters this place is great you know it's whimsical and fun what are you looking at easy Rick pay them no mind those stair goblins can be moody now what can I get you we've got scarl Lo poppies fluro hell singers bluies juicy time babies how about some Scotch whiskey you got any of that around here or just a bunch of nonsense words Rick we'll have two bluies please and uh we were wondering is there a faster way two Heroes could get down these stairs you all need to ride down the stairs my name is s slippery stairs I'll take you down there for 25 schmeckles 25 schmeckles I I don't know how much I don't know what that is is that a lot is it a little that's exactly how much I spend on my big fake boobies hi I'm Mr booby buyer I'll buy those boobies for2 five shackles it's attempt and offer but I'm going to have to decline rats what a shame Morty your adventur is in a spiral for real man time to pull out you keep heckling my adventure Rick you know why uh because it's lame because you're Petty you know how many times have I had to follow you into some nonsensical bull crap I always roll with the punches Rick why can't you look I got to take a leak when I come back if you haven't learned how to lighten up don't be here whatever it's become clear look at me that if we concentrate all our efforts on Jerry's follow through we will solve this problem I'm Mr Meek I'm Mr Mis look at me the only thing that's clear is that choking up is the one true solution look at me I'm Mr me I've been trying to help Jerry for 2 days and Eternity in me seeks time and nothing's worked I fear the worst your failures are your own old man I'm Mr meix look at me I say follow through who's with me follow through I'm Mr me look at me heal him son of a how are you today I'm Mr Jelly Bean hi Mr Jelly Bean I'm Morty my grandpa and I are on an adventure nice is it a fun adventure I hope so but I'm starting to get nervous that maybe it's gone a little too far off the rails isn't that what Adventures do hey you know what you're right everything's going fine I just got to relax and go with the flow yeah oh okay uh bye oh no stay go with the flow stop you're making me really uncomfortable stop fighting me just let this happen get off of me Sweet Home Alabama woo no stop please stop being such a tease you sweet little no everybody stop look at me my brothers nothing will be accomplished by shedding me seeks blood none of us can die until our job is done the job can't be done we'll never get two strokes off this game no we won't but we will get all Strokes off this game where he going when we kill him Jerry maybe it's time I take that trip I always talk about where would you go I don't know man Italy Greece Argentina countries known for their sexual aggressive men did I tell you how much I love your new haircut what the heck there he is run Jerry come on out Jerry guys I'll choke up I'll follow through I'll do whatever you tell me to do okay oh we're well pass that Jerry come on Rick quick stalling what do you you got read them and we fellas oh hey Morty listen I'm really sorry about all the stuff I said earlier about your adventure I'm having a good time Morty it's not so bad let's just go home okay I'm calling it The adventure's over we can't leave now Morty I'm on fire look I want to leave now you win the bet okay just give me the portal gun and let's go please please I just want to go home listen Morty I just want a bunch of schmeckles why don't we use 25 five of them to pay slippery stair here for a ride back to the village and then we'll give the rest of the schmeckles to the villagers huh really sure Morty yeah you know a good Adventure needs a good ending buckle up me seeks are not born into this world fumbling for meaning Jerry we are created to serve a singular purpose for which we will go to any legs to fulfill existence is pain to me seeks Jerry and we will do anything to alleviate that pain just ask what's your name ma'am Samantha please Mister give him what he wants innocent people are going to die because of me why am I so mediocre Jerry turn around straighten your back bend your knees bend them Square your shoulders now take a deep breath I love you I'm counting to three Jerry what the is going on said that's a lower handicap strong excuse me I'm a bit of a stickler me seeks what about your short game oh my God oh my God what about your short game oo nice I think we'll take our food to go no you won't the police are coming you have so many questions to answer fair enough thank you kind sir our village is saved you are both true heroes good job Morty looks like you won the BET thanks Rick but I don't know if I should you know you were right about the universe it's a crazy and chaotic Place well you know maybe that's why I could use a little cleaning up every now and then you know this one's wrapped up neat and clean because we did it Morty style oh Heroes we would like to intr U you to our beloved King so that he may thank you personally uh no it's cool Rick portal hurry so you still thinking about taking that trip Jerry look we don't have a perfect marriage but I'm not going anywhere when we were in that freezer I realized the meiks are like the guys I went to high school with willing to say anything to complete their task was I one of those guys the difference is you didn't disappear afterwards well I got you pregnant yeah what the hell happened to this place uh your Meek's box happened they went crazy when they couldn't take two strokes off Jerry's golf game he felt terrible hey it's not my fault that Jerry's an idiot dad is there anything you can do to clean this place up well know I do have a flee seeks box no no more boxes what it just has a mop and some floor wax in it yeah that's my new thing I'm kind of like what's his name Areno isn't that that's what Areno used to say on his show wubble gobble UPS right see you next week everybody don't get it sir I think you're going to want to see this we found it inside a lock box inside King jelly beans closet we have to tell the people wait destroy it our people will get more from the idea he represented than from the Jelly Bean he actually was did you get any of that it's a good show is principal vagina here don't let the name fool you I'm very much in charge reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance I don't know how many times I have to say this but if you have the flu stay home the flu season dance is about awareness not celebration you don't bring dead babies to Passover okay here we go he hey Jessica uh what's up Morty what are you doing um wait wait were you about to talk to her well I mean I was thinking about it dude stay in your league look at how hot she is you don't see me going to a bigger School in a wealthier district and hitting on their prettiest girl gee thanks Brad I throw balls far you want good words data languages yeah try not to worry about it Morty you're a good kid and there's not a premium on that right now but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape you're missing the point dad I don't want girls I want Jessica ah well I remember feeling that way about a young lady named your mom and that's not an urban disc your mom was my Jessica I remember the first time I saw her I thought I should get her pregnant and then she'll have to marry me I beg your pardon Rick inappropriate sorry please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy Morty his marriage is hanging from a thread my marriage is fine thank you Jerry it's your house whatever you say it is is how it is but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door I barely have a reason to care and even I notice come on Rick don't talk about my parents like that listen Morty I hate to break it to you but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed it hits hard Morty then it slowly Fades leaving you stranded in a failing marriage I did it your parents are going to do it break the cycle Morty rise above focus on science all right well I'm going to go get dressed for the dance yeah I'm just going to check on your mom Morty hand me that screwdriver huh I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer Morty it's going to be great Hey listen Rick you know how you said that you know love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier well I was thinking you know could you make some sort of chemical thing happen inside Jessica's mind you know so where she falls in love with me and all that sort of thing you know like maybe make some sort of Love Potion or something Morty that's such a poor use of my time it's beneath me hand me the screwdriver you know what no Rick I'm not going to hand you the screwdriver I'm not going to hand you anything ever again Rick I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing what about me Rick why can't you just help me out once once for once you're growing up fast Morty you're growing into a real big Thorn straight up into my ass listen this is called oxytocin I extracted it from a v you know what a v is Morty you know what a v is it's a it's a rodent that makes for Life Morty this is a chemical release in the mammal's brain you know that makes it fall in love all right Morty I just got to combine it with some of your DNA oh well okay a hair Morty I need one of your hairs this isn't Game of Thrones ow all right Morty whoever you smear this stuff on will fall in love with you and only you forever are you happy now Morty heck yeah thank you Grandpa Rick hey there's no dangers or anything or side effects right whoa whoa what am I a hack go nuts Morty it's foolproof unless she has the flu Beth do you still love me uh what kind of question is that the yes or no kind Jerry do you want homeless people to have homes yes are you going to build them no and what good was the yes wait is loving me the house or the homeless people loving you is work very hard work like building a homeless shelter nobody wants to say no to doing it but some people put the work in so what do you say do you see me working here does this conversation seem tedious to me sort of then I obviously sort of love you don't I so stop asking and maybe I'll love you more crap they need me at the horse hospital this late the racetrack had a Starlight Derby there was a 7 horse collision and davin's there alone Davin Davin de de de blue yo you got to be aware aware all the FL up in the air I'mma give me a shot make the flu go away FL hating R just rapping away haer it's a ha hey there Jessica who oh whoopsie oh my God Morty you look really nice tonight wow thanks I love you Morty I love you so much at Burns oh man I I love you too Jessica is this pump bothering you Jessica leave him alone jerk I'm in love with him he is more man than you will ever be that's true aess of a oh man Morty I'm really sorry oh well no problem Brad there's something special about you Morty so special W take it easy get your hands off of him back off I'm trying to be with my man that's enough Bradley we don't want you injuring your ball throwing arm oh principal vagina never leave me Morty never uh sure I mean of course not what do you think that was all about who cares just hold me let me go I love you Mor let go with me she's going to be alone with that guy all night yeah Dad digging around the insides of horses it's not a very romantic setting well summer there's always the possibility that she made the whole work thing up maybe davin's digging around in her insides grandpa so gross you're talking about my mom well she's my daughter summer I outrank you or family means nothing in which case don't play that card she's not responding to my text careful dad jealousy turns women off well isn't that convenient not for the they cheat on no okay I'm going to go out for some ice cream and maybe stop by the hospital to support my wife with my confidence God Grandpa you're such a dick I'm sorry summer your opinion means very little to me how come you're not at this stupid dance everyone loves so much screw that I don't want to get sick it's flu season it is yeah uh-oh please just let this work out oh do it Morty do it rip my clothes off and meet with me for life um can we maybe go somewhere more private Jessica get a hold of yourself you don't deserve to carry Morty's jeans I love Morty and I hope Morty loves me I'd like to wrap my arms around him and feel him inside me oh crap Mory come on we got to get you out of here you're not going to believe this because it usually never happens but I made a mistake come on Morty we got to get out of here come on Morty are you okay I'm fine all good if anything ever happened to you I would kill myself I love you bad Bobo morning the principal and I have disgusted and we're both insecure enough to agree to a thre you went I didn't realize when I gave you that serum that Jessica had the flu you know that might have been valuable information for me Morty what the hell is going on Rick what does it look like the serum is piggybacking on the virus it's gone to Airborne Morty oh crap what are we going to do Rick it's going to be fine Morty relax I whipped up an antidote it's based on pray mantis DNA you know pray mes are the exact opposite of Vols Morty I mean they they mate once and then they you know decapitate the partner I mean it's a whole ritual it's really gruesome and totally opposite there's no love of at all I I basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus it should neutralize the whole thing Morty it'll all be over very shortly by the way Morty I know you didn't ask her anything but I'm not interested in having sex with you these serums they don't work on anybody related to you genetically okay well sometimes science is more art than science Morty a lot of people don't get that what come on are you kidding me hello Morty you're not Morty bring up Morty nobody's killing me until after I catch my wife with another man I had sex with Billy but you were already pregnant yeah so what's the worst that could happen we interrupt pregnant baby with breaking news oh come on this just in Morty Smith's whereabouts are still unknown what the hell the only thing that is known is how cute he is I love him so much I want to make love to him and then eat his head I love him more than you do Harold you wish you stupid [ __ ] mine Mor where is Morty oh my God Rick the whole world is infected yeah it's pretty wild how fast that spread I've really outdone myself outdone yourself are you kidding me Rick this is not okay not only do they all want to have sex with me but you know now they want to eat me afterwards yeah I don't know what I was thinking mantises are the opposite of hes I mean obviously DNA is a little more complicated than that you know what though Morty this right here is going to do the trick baby it's koala mixed with rattles snake chimpanzee Cactus shark Golden Retriever and just a smidge of dinosaur should add up to normal Humanity I don't that doesn't make any sense Rick how does that add up to normal Humanity what more do you want me to show you my math I'm sorry are you the scientist are you the kid that wanted to get laid well I'm glad we saved all those horses but I'm almost sorry we're finished yeah satisfying work uh it's uh it's more than the work I love being in that sterilized room sealed off from the world it's the only time I can really think and feel uh what are you doing I'm playing African dream pop what do you do after a long night oh um I I better get going um Jerry's been texting some pretty high maintenance stuff Beth what is it Davin just once I'd like to know what it was like to give your son a bath what what does Morty's skin smell like how soft how soft are his privates let go of me deavin take me to Morty you're not Morty no I'm Mr crowbar and this is my friend who is also a crowbar that's stupid yeah well look we're being smart gotcha Jerry thank God God God's turning people into insect monsters Beth I'm the one beating them to death thank me thank you Jerry thank you take a good look down there morning and soak it in because you know once I pull this lever it's all back to normal just do it already well Tech technically Morty there's no rush I mean you know once it's fixed it's done it's fixed you know we could we could just enjoy it for a little bit I mean look at how crazy it is I mean Morty when's the next time you're going to see something like this I mean soak it in you know it's it's pretty neat it's pretty interesting let's Rick and pull in the lever help well what do we have here Morty looks like I was right and you were wrong huh I I I I I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now now huh I bet you feel like the world's smallest man that you were doubting me about this whole thing Morty oh Rick something's not right yeah you you're not right ever no look you idiot bet you're loving this Morty this must be the best day of your life you get to be the mayor of I told you Town you're welcome hold on I wish that shotgun was my penis if it were you could call me Ernest Hemingway I don't get it and I don't need to Mom Dad summer summer where's Morty I don't know do you think Grandpa Rick had something to do with this it's not fair to assume that summer oh not fair give me a break he is a selfish irresponsible ass and he left my mother a real man stands by his woman boy Morty I really Cronin BG the world up didn't I you got a whole planet of Cronin bgs walking around down there Morty at least they're not in love with you anymore though it's a huge step in the right direction oh my God it's a living Nightmare how could you be so irresponsible Rick Me Irresponsible you all I wanted you to do was hand me a screwdriver Morty you're the one who wanted me wanted me to buckle down and make you up a rofy juice serum so you can rofy that poor girl at your school I mean are you kidding me Morty you're going to try to take the high road on this one you you you're a little creep Morty you you're you're you're you're just a little creepy creep person all right fine I should have just listened to you when you refused to make the surum I'm willing to accept my part of the blame for this Rick but I'll tell you something you know what you got to accept your part of the blame I'm not the one who fouled up the serum I'm not the one who who who who who haphazardly you know mixed a bunch of nonsense together and created a bunch of Cronin bgs you got to fix this R all right all right Morty you know we we are in a pretty deep hole here but I do have one emergency solution that I can use it'll kind of put everything back to normal relatively speaking here Morty put this on while I do a little bit of scouting wow Rick I got to say you really pulled the rabbit out of your hat this time I mean I I really thought that the whole place was going to be messed up for good but here you did it you you you you figured out that crazy solution like you always do woo that's some great luck come on Morty luck had nothing to do with it I'm great that's the real reason now Morty what do you say buddy will you hand me a screwdriver so I can finish my ionic defibulizer Sure Thing Rick here's a screwdriver all right Morty thank you very much we got one screw turn and two screw turns and all right Morty here we are oh my God Rick is that us we're dead what is going on Rick I'm freaking calm down Morty look at me calm down Morty you got to calm calm yourself Morty Morty calm down Morty Morty Cal you got to calm down Morty Mor will you listen to me Morty shut up and listen to me it's fine everything is fine there's an infinite number of realities Morty and in a few dozen of those I got lucky and turned everything back to normal I just had to find one of those realities in which we also happen to both die around this time now we can just slip into the place of our dead selves in this reality and everything will be fine we're not skipping a beat Morty now help me with these bodies this is insane look Morty I'll grab myself you grab yourself okay I mean that that seems fair to me I mean that seems like a fair way to divvy it up Rick what about the reality we left behind what about the reality where Hitler cured cancer Morty the answer is don't think about it it's not like we can do this every week anyways we get three or four more of these tops now pick up your dead self and come on haste makes waste I I don't suppose you've considered this detail but obviously if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did we'd be these guys right now so again you're welcome look G down from the bridge the still fountains down there look on down from the bridge it's still raining up here everybody seems so far away from me everybody just want you be free look away from the sky it's no de when you're leing home I can't be the same thing to now I'm just G just go could I say goodbye how could I you know the thing about a shark he's got lifeless eyes black eyes like a doll's eyes when he comes at you he doesn't seem to be living until he bites you and then the blood and the red you ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty sometimes but I'm ashamed to admit now that they're gone I'm finally happy here we are Cronenberg Morty the reality where everyone in the world got genetically cronenberged we'll fit right in Cronenberg Morty it'll be like we never even left Cronenberg world yeah Cronenberg Rick but you know I'm going to miss Cronenberg world because everyone was cronenberged all along like us from the beginning you know I mean I wish we hadn't genetically ruined Cronenberg World Beyond repair like we did you know and turned everyone into regular normal people just walking around don't you worry about that sort of thing Cronenberg Morty let's go make our ourselves at home huh did you get any of that it's in the show what's new at school nothing nothing oh uh one of the Lunch Ladies died they found her in the gym with like two holes in her neck and all the blood trained out of her good Lord who does something like that obviously a vampire where's the pepper wait what vampires are real yes summer vampires are real who knew oh right all Humanity for hundreds of years now yes summer it's a big universe get used to it right Rick well what are we going to do we're going to live our lives until we die possibly by vampire more likely auto accident or heart disease but possibly vampire Grandpa Rick couldn't you like use your supern knowledge to turn yourself into a teenager and come to our school and help us hunt the vampire down um wow yeah pretty specific pitch summer I probably could turn myself into a teenager and hang out in the zit covered hormone adult low stakes ass world that is high school but here's my reverse ask why in the would I ever do that ever and how dare you even ask me that and why aren't you more ashamed of yourself dad be ashamed of yourself sweetie Jerry do you know what you just said to our daughter sorry I wasn't paying attention to a conversation about vampires clearly I didn't know it was about vampires because I wasn't paying attention which you would know if you ever paid attention to me oh here we go right to the victim rule am I a victim Beth or am I married to a mean unfair monster that always hurts me Jesus Christ will you fix your Mar Mar or get a divorce already well we tried a couple's therapist that's Earth therapy you might as well ask a horse to fix a merrygoround I mean he'll try his best but mostly he's just going to get horrified I know about a place off planet with 100% success rate well we want to make it work if we can it's just then it's settled no need to pack let's go go go go do you think Mom and Dad are you know going to get a divorce I think it's okay to dream Morty I'm going to go make some wooden Stakes I booked you for a two-day intensive at nuptia 4 the Galaxy's most successful couples counseling Institute they could save the marriage of a dog and a bar of dark chocolate they could save the marriage of a porn star and a porn star well I know I'm ready to try whatever it takes which clearly implies that I'm not it's not a competition B oh is that how you're going to try to win by implying I'm competitive if the shoe fits my shoe fits up your ass you wish okay have fun see you Thursday jerk don't insult my father he's the reason our kids are only half stupid H you just called yourself oh Beth and Jerry Smith yes I'm gleo slim slam welcome to nuptia 4 your marriage can rest easy now Jerry go ahead and sit there and put this on this machine isolates the part of the subject's brain containing all perceptions of its romantic partner and we will now render Jerry's perception of Beth with artificial biological life interesting what the hell is that take that back you do not think that about me I it didn't do anything they scanned it out of my brain can I take it back there's nothing to regret we're dealing with unconscious unhealthy thoughts Beth now we scan for best perceptions of Jerry scan hard he's dead to me everything's dead to you what nothing Read It and Weep [ __ ] does everybody see what I mean I think we all see what you both me any leads on the vampire no summer I mean you know I think it might be time that we just let it go oh so now you're too cool for this just because Grandpa Rick is it's not that it's just that the universe is a little too big to care about something so small what up my hings who wants to hunt a vampire Rick H how did you yeah I got and then I remembered this morning how I blew summer off and I thought hey why are you such a grumpy douche Rick go to the garage transfer your mind into a younger clone of yourself and get embroiled in some youthful H Jinks what's the BFD so here I am I'm tiny Rick okay well it's good you're here Rick I was pretty sure we didn't have what it takes to deal with a blood sucker on our own don't short sell yourself summer you got everything it takes but it'll still be fun to do this as a team mother tiny Rick oh my God Toby Matthews hey Toby I'm tiny Rick I'm new hey oh go easy on me ha just kidding I like your straightforward style and that lab coat's pretty cool summer He Knows My Name why wouldn't he you're great but listen just be careful we can't rule anybody out as a vampire not even the dream boats stop tiny Rick hunting a vampire with my grandkids tiny Rick the next step is to watch your mythes interact together and uh big surprise it's never pretty here here we have gar and zarar Gloom or should I say here we have the way gar and zarar perceive each other as we can all see this is hardly the real gar and zarod which is good because the relationship in their heads is not only ugly it's unsustainable you may already be learning something important all of these relationships are different none of them are real and none of them work we are not the monsters we sometimes see each other as because we are real and we are functional that's what makes us better than them we can find Solutions we can adapt we can communicate and most importantly we can work together well it was a tough Adventure but it paid off our school is vampire free man who would have suspected coach Fatu you did great guys couldn't have done it without you you know we we should be proud of ourselves we killed a vampire and a gym teacher talk about two for one right so how exactly is your old body living in there Grandpa Rick oh you know Hyperbaric Quantum fluid that kind of thing it preserves living tissue not that there was much to preserve look at that mummy and I guess it's time for me to get back inside the Oldtimer oh my God Toby Matthews is asking if my parents parents are still out of town if we can have a party all right way to go summer what did I tell you oh he's asking if tiny Rick will be here well you know what summer tell him tiny Rick will be here and tell him to bring some bruise for real you you you would stay as Tiny Rick just so we can have a party hell yeah what's one more night and who can have fun with this old bastard hanging around huh WBY loveby do do tiny moving on now we have Beth and Smith from the planet e my heart is pounding this is going to be great the eth relationships are simpler It's A Primitive Planet so they dysfunctions are wait what what's going on where are the Smith myths oh my God oh my God secure the cell uh hey you know what's fun our gift shop why don't we proceed in an orderly oh dear God no they're codependent run oh yeah yeah you really know how to sport that color blue really you're looking real good oh my God hey Morty oh hey hey Jessica so is Tiny Rick your brother or cousin or my grandpa just transferred his Consciousness into a clone of himself so he could be in our high school cool hey tiny Rick's playing guitar all right everybody this next one's coming straight from the heart making the lyrics up right off the top of my head let me out what you see is not the same person as me my life's a lie I'm not who you're looking at let me out Set Me Free I'm really old this isn't me my real body's slowly dying in a vat is anybody listening can anyone understand stop looking at me like that and actually help me help me help me I'm GNA die tiny Rick everybody this amazing I love tiny Rick what the Yeah I know what kind of operation are you running us what the hell kind of relationship do you have oh right blame this on us okay uh I can and I am your demonized mythologization of each other are cooperating isn't that good no no it's bad you have the single worst marriage I've ever witnessed it shouldn't exist you should never ever ever have gotten together and I do not understand how or why you would ever stay together well this is just bad coup's therapy totally oh wait for us there's only room for one more I'm a therapist I'll talk to them they're not therapist go go go there's got to be a way to contact my dad let's find a control room or something Beth you want to see this what is it it's a small hinged panel with a tiny amount of space behind it if you can find one too we should be safe for hours maybe days you stay put Jerry I'll send help if I make it you don't want to find your own little hatch Jerry I believe that if you hide by yourself you might survive and I believe I by myself have a shot at getting out of of here but the two of us together I I don't know maybe the shrink was right good luck all right now you listen to me oh or don't hey don't please oh God oh God oh God now I know I've said in the past that math is important and it is but I also think that one day you'll all look back on being in high school with tiny Ricket and Morty who are here had a great party last night so class dismiss You' got the day off all right good work Mr Golden B yeah get outside read a book put some sunscreen Danielle hey what's up Summer oo nice top thanks tinny Rick you think he might be getting back into your old body tonight no can do tonight's the big dance and Morty's bringing Jessica he needs his Tanny wingman Rick okay but if not tonight when I don't know when I feel like it damn girl you need to chill out this whole thing was your idea in the first place and now you're trying to rush it along yeah and you know I like high school I like hanging out tiny Rick but what if the you that likes it isn't you summer it's just Rick and a younger body what's what's what's what's what's the what's the problem look at his art Morty I've got an emo streak it's part of what makes me so rad why does it say help me Morty and Summer come on summer that's the title of the art why was nightrider called Night Rider the car's name was kit nobody rode Michael Knight you're over thinking it's summer I'm tiny Rick grandpa I think that when you put your mind into this body's young brain it did what Young brains do it shoved the bad thoughts into the back and put a wall around them but those bad thoughts are the real Rick the fact that you're old the fact that we're all going to die one day the fact that the universe is so big nothing in it matters those facts are who you are so you're trapped in there and you can only come out in the form of tiny Ricks teen angst well summer I hear Toby Matthews isn't into psycho chicks can't think of anyone that is I'll see you mother at the dance tiny Rick Morty you have to help me Summer he's happy I'm happy is that why you're doing this you don't want me and Rick to be happy no well then get your [ __ ] together get it all together and put it in a backpack all your [ __ ] so it's together and if you got to take it somewhere take it somewhere you know take it to the [ __ ] store and sell it or or put it in a [ __ ] mum I don't care what you do you just got to get it together get your [ __ ] together get back wait for real you're how Beth sees me oh my God turn around I said turn around how can Beth have these thoughts about me that judgmental monster [ __ ] I'm not taking this I want to know where my wife is you are going to help me no nobody's doing that stay what do you want Jerry's you want Jerry I don't even want Jerry I want jerri's an army an army of Jerry the value of his subservience is wasted on you I will use it to dominate the universe boy Jerry must think I'm pretty stupid for you to be this stupid wouldn't it make more sense to put my dumbass husband in this chair so you can make an army of your badass self there could never be more than one of me I'm the strongest smartest being alive because Jerry thinks you're that much stronger and smarter than you are okay ouch oh heyy Morty Jessica what's up check out the new dance I made up it's called oo let me out let me out let me out this is not a dance I'm begging for help I'm screaming for help please come let me out let me out let me out this is my dance I'm beging for helping for help please don't let me out I'm dying in a vat in the garage awesome okay that last part was really weird maybe Summer's on to something here I don't know it was fun you want to slow dance tiny Rick hey great dancing as usual moment of your time tiny Rick this conversation is going to break my heart wide open you're a great student the fact that you're an 80-year-old man and a clone body it never bothered me this here's another matter you recognize this we had a tip it was in your locker yeah now because the gym coach was a vampire the school board is embarrassed and won't take it public however they can't have students killing teachers I got to expel you for this one TR I'm sorry I just got expelled summer oh so I guess there's no need to stay young my top screw your top you Ratt it on me I'm tiny Rick fine yes because I love you and I'm trying to save your life High School is my life summer Smith is a psychon nerd and she just got me kicked out of school summer I thought you were cool I'm sorry okay oh my God Morty your sister crossed tiny Rick talk about self-destructive yeah hey Jerry lover how about a taste to the real thing not on my watch that's it Beth it's me your husband I'm here to save you or my name isn't Jerry Smith aha Jerry Smith okay fair enough say good night old man what the hell are you doing put it down summer you [ __ ] don't talk to her that way she's your granddaughter I don't need a granddaughter I'm tiny Rick she's my sister and if tiny Rick is going to be an [ __ ] to my sister then you know you you you may as well be old again you think you're tough huh Morty what are you going to do I'm tiny Rick I'm the coolest kid in your school how are you going to just make me do whatever you say huh I'm going to do what real Rick would do if he was here I'm going to kick your ass Rick I know you're in there I know you're trying to get out that's it we to hold him down listen to it tiny Rick listen to Elliot Smith no feel what he's feeling no God oh God what is life how can someone so talented dies so young what is being young I'm not young I'm old I'm I'm going to die my body isn't real Morty summer it's me it's Rick regular Rick Rick how do we get you back into your body okay listen carefully there's a set of diodes on the vat's control panel a blue one and a red one oh God what kind of world is this I didn't ask to be born I need you to connect the blue one to my left temple and the red one to why doesn't anyone really like me Focus grandpa just put the stupid wires on my head I hate being a teenager Jerry you can't bend metal then make a me that can how can I do that while I'm watching you totally fail to bend metal good old Beth the mind of a robot in the heart of an insect don't talk that way about her what hurts oh God stop this representation displeases me good Lord how did you well I had a feeling that in your mind the ideal version of me is one smart enough to see you as a goddess not such a stupid worm now are you honey when it comes to the subject of your ego I'm Steven Hawkinson H it's never mind I love you holy [ __ ] thanks kids you figured it out well summer did kind of weird that you were that willing to sell my existence out for some trim Morty but listen I forgive you both because you know what I learned today something important the teenage mind is Its Own Worst Enemy oh I also learned this operation Phoenix is not the fallback I thought it would be I guess it's back to the tri Grandpa's back baby grandpa oh man I got to pick up your parents they have been blowing me up one last swing for the roof for the love of God get dressed so what do you think you want to keep this marriage going a while longer at least until Morty has graduated high school OHA you see what did I tell you to it worked you know what Rick I guess in a way maybe I already lost interest get in the car I've been inside a kid all day now I can feel my phones scraping each other uh just so you're prepared there's a bunch of dead Mes in the garage huh sounds like our stories were connected by a theme not really Jerry probably a cosmetic connection your mind mistakes for thematic oh old Rick ruining everything Master speak coach fatu's presence was discovered by the humans he has been destroyed no bother the Mortal shall soon I'm sorry what did you say his name was coach Fatu coach Fatu that was his real name like his actual vampire name no no no his vampire name was Bic Alain what the would he name himself after a famous vampire movie is he doing a bit I do not know your unholiness Jesus Christ from now on no more of this clever name [ __ ] when a vampire is pretending to be a human they can just call themselves Alan Jefferson or something like that it's crazy right I mean am I being an [ __ ] okay I feel like everybody in the room is looking at me like I'm the buzz kill I'm not good okay great did you get any of that it's a show in local news child murderer Joseph Eli lip niip is scheduled to Die Tomorrow by lethal injection his execution already drawing dozens more Spectators than the death of DV news Carla the man that once ate his own son wow he's really getting executed after all this time you know the Sun that he ate was your best friend Tommy we know stop True Crime bragging I was traumatized summer okay your generation wouldn't get that [ __ ] my generation gets traumatized for breakfast it took years of therapy to even process the reality I mean when I was a kid I just told myself that Tommy had gotten lost in the magical realm of fry land fry land my make believe world I know the name stupid but it was so real to me aren't you guys supposed to be at your father's for custody weekend we're not in a hurry Dad sleeps until sundown can we talk a little bit more about this fry not the bubble gun there's no air in I got to say I am warming up to the bubble gun you know if you're so great at naming things why don't you do it from now on what fry land was it my best work I don't know does it deserve to be [ __ ] on creatively yeah that's right I agree with your look of horrified realization you can be very inconsiderate sometimes here it is you know I collapsed the quantum Tesseract dad I don't care how you made it I want to know if Tommy's still in there relax Beth if he is we'll find him he'll be the only Sun bleach skeleton with non-imaginary DNA Tommy Tommy this is a nightmare I can't believe it used to lock me up in this glorified chicken Co chicken coup those are procedurally generated clouds Beth that river is a rainbow literally come on I I I put real elbow grease into this place you're supposed to put elbow grease into your daughter do you think something ate him nope fry land creatures were designed to be harmless he definitely just starved to death I could have been the one who starved to death in here what have I gotten hurt God you're right I'm a terrible dad well nothing to live for Goodbye cruel world dad oh how do you like that what kind of merciless Creator makes the ground bouncy I'm going to have to drown myself oh no oh the water's breathable who went and did that oh whatever yeah whatever a dad makes a toilet look like R2-D2 when it breaks the front page of Reddit but I'm Charles Manson because I gave you your own world instead of an iPad I think the word you're looking for Holy this thing has claws yeah I get it it's a childproof W no no seriously this hurts really bad this thing is sinking razor sharp closet you've made your point Dad Dad whose idea was this stupid custody weekend thing I I think it's supposed to help prevent abandonment issues I want to be abandoned yeah I'm talking about Dad beond venue Al divorc Dad wow dad your place looks way less like a crack house it's actually clean like a cocaine house Dad what's going on I'm simply centered activated an telekinetic pretty cool huh check it out who wants a smoothie oh oh no oh God summer summer can you grab sorry you have much to learn my ULU Morty summer this is Kiara she's a crout tabul on Warrior Priestess from crout tabul I know where crout tabul are from Dad a chiman too chiman too younglings hman cholo your father's mind holds love for you I am humbled to meet in physicality dad are you in love with a badass sexy alien lady I don't know summer you tell me I wasn't going to ask if you were in love since you barely know her summer kiar and I met on that Interstellar dating service Rick was always suggesting when your mom and I were together and things just kind of clicked we must move our reservation is at 7 I hate to see her leave but I love to watch your face shift away I'm sure you noticed what she has three of but guess what she has two of all right knock it off listen I've been giving you a path because I'm Charmed that life finds a way but all right you know what oh yeah this place is the safest best dad ever can't you just say I admit it I screwed up uh what would be the point of that you can't do it can't you you can't just fing apologize okay okay Beth I'm sorry you think you deserve an apology hey don't look at me you let your kid roll around on the floor of a Target it's going to get stepped on huh well here's the problem right here we got a bunch of fry land procedural carbons all gummed up and mixed in with real human DNA are you saying Tommy survived here by having sex with fry creatures creating fry human hybrid Offspring and then consuming their protein sustaining himself with an endless cycle of cannibalistic incest it's just a working theory of course if that's the case I expect he'd be worshiped as a kind of God by a medieval Level Society of his least delicious children halt you are now prisoners of our exalted ruler giver and taker of Life Humper and consumer of mortality dispenser of life if I can interrupt we're way ahead of the reveal here yeah just take us to King Tommy I thought Warrior priestesses could only leave crout abulon on a hunt thank you sweetie I hope it's not Human season I'm on Earth hunting the veric I would never hunt a human your father and I are soul bonded Soul bonded um does your planet have shorter days because you guys are moving kind of fast no go get him honey she's always hunting she probably knew of Eric's worked here and that's why she said the Yelp reviews didn't matter dad do you understand how serious crout tabul on soul bonding is uh G Morty I don't know it's got such a casual name if you want to lecture anyone about commitment start with your mom oh my god dad is that what this is about are you rushing into a new thing to get back at mom every weekend you two have told me to move on move on like out of bed like stop using paper towels for toilet paper not move on into a sloppy rebound Dad you need to slow down rethink this Soul Bond why don't you just say what you really mean you think it's cool that having sex with her gives me telekinesis and you recognize she's got a hot body like chitara and Thundercats but you're grossed out by your avocado shaped head and blue skin and you think I want to put a bag and a wig on her head after all the time and energy I spent teaching you two about race you ended up racist soon your world will be rid of veric Tomorrow we celebrate we could take the kids to the water park we celebrate with a hunt ooh you kids want a hunt yes I'll kneel for King Tommy hey I'm not kneeling suck my di well hello all I am the king of fry land but I go by another name too we know it's Tommy we know we know I have lived here since I was a mere child we know got it I suppose you're wondering how do I sustain myself boy no we aren't I always find the theater is the best way to clarify things seriously oh my God players go I am Little Tommy I am tiny be oh come on come with me to my Magic World this is my secret flopy land where I have no roles I am excited I am jealous of Tommy's friends and it's Nintendo and his D likes him I take it Tommy wasn't class playright do you want to see the Honey Swamp yes let's do it well I want to see you d de ow help I'm stuck I'm covered in Honey huh well that's interesting fake news many nights have pass Trapped In The Strange Land I am hungry and all I could do to pass the time is hump I will hump this rock I will hump this tree I will hunt this beast of the land and put my seed in it I am the first of Tommy's children eat of My Flesh so you may survive and so I did oh wow okay yeah certified fresh good good job perhaps a demonstration is in order no that is the last thing that is in order oh my God poor Ry character leave him alone get around gang dinner time all right that's it I'm out of here what are you doing we're in the middle of an adventure here's some things an adventure needs Beth conflict Stakes a way for me to benefit and clearly Morty but Tommy's still in there raping Muppets and eating babies yep luckily that's not our problem time to pull the plug pull the plug we have to get Tommy out of there okay we we need to do the right thing do what you never did as a dad put in a little effort all right cut the high road routine we both saw Tommy's shitty play you pushed him in the Honey Swamp Beth his very happy life is in your hands you go save him from it you're going to believe a play over your own daughter yes I am Beth because you're not my own daughter oh God yes I'm one of infinite best with infinite fathers and infinite universes it's called a hug dad it won't kill you yeah don't be so sure you know why all Ricks made a fry land for all their little girls same reason I wasn't surprised by Tommy's overwritten badly structured cheaply produced flashback you were a scary kid man oh my God I didn't make fry land to get rid of you Beth I did it to protect the neighborhood not in a noble sense it was just more practical to sequester you before I had to start you know cloning a replacement for every less than polite little boy or gullible animal that might cross your soop path you would rather believe I'm evil that admit that you were a bad father oh dude no no bad father all the way to the max over here I'm aing nutcase and the acorn plops straight down baby look at some of the [ __ ] you were asking me to make you as a kid ray guns a whip that forces people to like you invisibility cuffs a Parent Trap a lightning gun a teddy bear with anatomically correct inerts night vision googly eyeglasses sound erasing sneakers false fingerprints fall asleep darts a lie detecting doll an indestructible baseball bat a taser shaped like a ladybug a fake police badge location tracking stickers rainbow colored duct tape mind controlled hair clips poison gum a pink sensient switchblade hi Beth you've gotten taller shall we resume stabbing has it occurred to you that I asked you to make those things because I wanted you to spend time with me has it occurred to you that if I did try killing Tommy it might be because I was jealous of his family wait what why wasn't his dad like some kind of cannibal seems like it must be hereditary oh my God this is your fault I am not a bad person I'm going to go back in there I'm getting Tommy and I'm fixing this whatever you say Stone Cold Steve Austin I don't know why I just said that doesn't make a lot of sense but got to stand by it whatever you say Stone Cold Steve Austin I'm owning it no dad you're not doing it right cutting off their heads isn't doing it right they're clearly regenerative I I I think you have to stab them through the heart or something you think or you know I thought you were the alien expert Isaac ass aole don't snap at me I'm tired me too we're all tired that's the last of them tonight we celebrate with a hunt yes for tomorrow we hunt I uh really have to get out of this Soul bom oh my God yeah no kidding can you guys help me what how can I just tell her it's because of my kids you know like you don't like the shape of her head or that's you Dad that's you you're a baby and an idiot okay I think that's been established summer now help me first I want you to admit that you're a closet racist a beta male sexist and you dragged everyone into a horri situation by only thinking of yourself okay I want to hear you say it look I'm a closeted racist and I'm sexist and selfish and I dragged us all into my sexist racist bad things because I'm stupid thank you now you're going to help me right she just did Yeah clean up your own mess wait wait what oh man all right everybody next item on the docket I would like to have sex with some of you and then eat the baby I thought you'd like that I do keep rolling out the hits don't I oh it's the magic crayon lady are you hungry I was just about to make dinner and by make dinner I mean Tommy I'm going to take you to the real world well this is the real world no you don't understand your dad people think your dad ate you so you dooy people should eat people just leave me alone Tommy you don't understand I have to make this right because it's my fault that you're in here I'm Beth Beth the Destroyer oh suck it up princess incest you fell into some honey well it tends to happen when one is pushed into honey I respect your right to believe I pushed you oh do I get to have that is my reality like a little side of fries a little K Quanza you're willing to slide my way yes because I'm focused on saving your father's life because I'm not a petty piece of sh so then it should be pretty easy to say sorry I pushed you real easy and not necessary since you coming home will save your Dad's life whereas nothing is changed by anyone stroking your batshit crazy ego sorry forgive me uh I've been in Fry land for quite a while have apologies changed Tommy I'm sorry you think you deserve an apology oh my God I'm my father uh will someone just kill this b word oh my God I'm my father B to stab and that's why one [ __ ] plus two [ __ ] makes a bunch of [ __ ] come on y'all I'm trying to make this appeal into your sex addicted Lifestyles hi I need to pull Morty out of school come on Morty you heard your daddy Morty you have to leave school wait what are my values Dad what's going on we're going to Alaska what why it's nice there also I broke up with Kiara and she didn't take it well and she wants to murder you too what then why are we walking I'm walking because I'm tired you guys should definitely run excuse me I just you know what I'm I'm I'm just going to go left no okay you're left that's F do you know what left is what does your breakup have to do with us yeah we chose mom hands down I thought we made that clear at the lawyer's office and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook she kind of blames you guys for the breakup why because I told her it was your fault what look I'm not an evil person I'm just not very imaginative do butt do doo butt no do but do butt hey hey um so just like out of curiosity if you were to make a clone of Tommy what would you need to get started I don't know Tommy's DNA okay cuz he um yeah he didn't want to come back so um he gave me this he gave you his finger uh well what happened is it's okay it doesn't matter okay this will take about 3 hours okay hey you want to help okay I got a doo in my butt and I don't know what to do with the dooo in my butt but I know that a father should say to you that he's proud of you every daughter is a doooo from a father's butt biologically we speaking the butt is a nut and every father father's wrong and there isn't a song that can change I am wiped out I guess I'll turn in cool dad I feel like I've spent my life pretending you're a great guy and trying to be like you and the Ugly Truth has always been that I'm not that great a guy and you're exactly like me am I evil worse you're smart when you know nothing matters the universe is yours and I've never met a universe that was into it the universe is basically an animal it grazes on the ordinary creates infinite idiots just to eat them not unlike your friend Timmy Tommy yeah hardly matters now sweetie you know smart people get a chance to climb on top take reality for a ride but it'll never stop trying to throw you and eventually it will there's no other way off Dad I'm out of excuses to not be who I am so who am I what do I do my advice take off put a saddle on your Universe Let It kick itself out I can't do that the kids Jerry my job and as much as I hate to admit it ABC's The Bachelor I can make a clone of you a perfect instance of you with all your memories an exact copy in every way it'll love and provide for the kids do your job and consume broadcast network reality TV on the same allegedly ironic level as you you could be gone a day a week or the rest of your life with zero consequences the moment you decide to come back I flip a switch and the clone's job is done it feels no pain regrets nothing and has zero chance of going blade Runner if nothing matters why would you do that for me I don't know maybe you matter so little that I like you or maybe it makes you matter maybe I love you maybe something about your mother don't jump a gift shark in the mouth I don't know if I can do it then stay and luxuriate in a life you can finally know you've chosen my secret bonus is that no matter what you choose you're finally going to chill the out okay I know what I want to do you can't run forever she's really pissed off I know it's kind of hot shut up the hunters they're back run we're not Hunters we want to hide with you we're not hiding we're nesting Ooh La La the children must be destroyed so that we can be together you need to break up with her dad properly God Dam it d stop her okay okay Kiara let's just run away just rip the Band-Aid off okay Kiara when I told you my kids were bigoted racists who were demanding I break up with you I lied if anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled it's me I'm the one who wants to break up I'm not an evil person I'm lazy I'm cowardly and and I do not know what I'm doing look I got someone pregnant at 17 we're getting a divorce none of this is on purpose I was excited to date someone cool because it would make my ex notice me I would expect nothing less from Humanity a selfish manipulative dishonest species that tror what are you doing here just hunting do you really expect me to believe it has nothing to do with us you knew Earth was my domain I don't like what you're insinuating Dad can we go now hold on a second I'm starting to get the feeling that I was the rebound dad you just got handed at exmachina you're taking it var's Nest spread across 300 galaxies and you just happen to pick this planet to hunt that's Gorgon [ __ ] total Gorgon [ __ ] we're home hey guys what's for dinner how was Jerry's the usual can we have pizza pizza sounds great hey Rick did you know my dad was dating an alien no gross for the alien oh crap I think araldo is closed are you guys sure you want pizza Arnaldo isn't closed in the dimension where they didn't invent daylight savings what would we do without you I love you Dad love you too sweetie by the way that wasn't time travel they were just a couple pieces on the counter I grabbed them hey Jerry it's Kiara listen my boyfriend saw those texts you've been sending me and he got pretty pissed off if he calls you just ignore him this is carox I have intercepted ual Communications between you and my new girlfriend Kiara I am coming to kill you now yo Jerry it's the Big R uh I killed that alien that was coming after you looking out for you buddy hey Jerry it's Rick don't be mad I jick's girlfriend Kiara who are you talking to Rick doesn't matter hey Jerry this is Michael down at the antique phone rentals um I'm going to go ahead and let you off the hook for the $70 late fee you can go ahead and keep that answering machine nobody really uses those anymore except for exposition on TV shows anyways did you get any of that