How to actually make people like you. A lot of people watching this video probably believe that there is nothing we can actively do to make others like us. They think that we are who we are and if others like us then good.
If they don't then there's nothing we can do about it. This is a common mistake that a lot of people make. The interesting part and what I will prove in this video is that we can make anyone, literally anyone like us, just by following a few simple principles. What I'm gonna go over in this film is not something common that we learn about.
This isn't something that is taught in school, so chances are that you're gonna learn a lot of new things in this video. The five principles I will share in this video turn me from a shy, low-confident teenager into a confident guy that actively makes new friends. These five principles come from the fantastic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, written by Dale Carnegie. The principles I'll share will help you know what to say when meeting new people, And it will serve as a foundation of tools that you can use to make others like you. While I go over these principles, try visualizing how you can apply these principles in your own life.
Whether that's in school, at work, or with friends or at home with your family. It'll help you better learn the following principles. Principle 1. Encourage other people to talk about themselves. For those of you who don't know, I'm currently in the Swedish army. And a few months ago, we got the tasks to be royal guards for the king's castle.
My task was to guard the big entrance to the castle. It was around 1 a.m. and I was standing there incredibly bored. Then, all of a sudden, I hear the doors from the castle open behind me.
An important guy in a uniform comes out and asks me if it's cold. It's fine, even though I thought it was pretty cold. We start small talking a little bit and then I remember the principle from the book.
Encourage other people to talk about themselves. I picked up on the fact that he seemed pretty interested in history, so I started asking him more about that. That kept him talking for 15 minutes until it was time for me to go off my post and go on a mandatory break. The next day... The same time, he came back and encouraged him to continue talking about himself.
We are eternally interested in ourselves. That's just how we are. We love talking about ourselves and what we do.
So if we encourage others to talk about themselves, they will love us because we will make them feel important and listened to. So the next time you don't know what to say in a conversation, remember principle one. Encourage other people to talk about themselves.
The next principle will make anyone like you instantly. This principle is to give sincere and honest compliments. There was a study made years ago on runaway wives. What do you think was discovered to be the main reason why wives ran away? It was lack of appreciation.
We often forget to give other people words of appreciation because we're so busy thinking about ourselves. But through giving someone an honest compliment, we can make their whole day or week through just giving a sincere and honest compliment. We want a feeling that we are important in our little world.
We don't want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery. but we do crave sincere appreciation. So let's treat others how we would like others to treat us.
We love when people compliment us. So let's make other people feel good through giving them sincere compliments. How, when, where?
The answer is all the time, everywhere. So let's try this. I want to try to create a positive butterfly effect using this principle. Let's say 100,000 people watch this video and everyone gives someone they like a sincere compliment today.
We will together have made over 100,000 people happy through giving them a sincere compliment. We'll do it together. After I've recorded this video, I will give someone I know a sincere compliment.
And after you've watched this video, you'll do the same thing. Principle three. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it completely. Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with both parts being more convinced that they were absolutely right. We can't win an argument.
Because if we lose it, we lose it. And if we win it, we lose it. Why?
Well, let's say you absolutely run over the other person in an argument and prove that he is wrong. Then what? We will feel fine, but what about the other person?
We have made him feel inferior. We have hurt his pride and, as a result, made him feel stupid. That being said, don't argue with people. It just results in negative feelings for one another.
So the next time we feel like an argument is about to start, turn it down completely through being objective. Look for things that you can agree upon instead of focusing on winning. Because remember that you can never win an argument.
That was principle three. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it completely. We've gone over three principles on how to make people like us. Encourage other people to talk about themselves. Give sincere and honest appreciation.
And the best way to win an argument is to avoid it completely. There are still two more really important principles that we still haven't talked about. The fourth one is try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
We have to remember that sometimes other people may be totally wrong, but they won't think that they are. Don't criticize them because that's just what... everybody would do. If you want to be wise and smart about it, try to understand them.
There is a reason why the other person thinks and acts the way he does. Try honestly to put yourself in his place. If we say to ourselves, how would I feel?
How would I react if I were in his shoes? We will save ourselves a lot of time and irritation through putting ourselves in the other person's shoes. That was the fourth principle. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. The last principle, maybe the most important and simple one, is smile.
Action speaks louder than words. And a smile says, I like you. You make me happy.
I'm glad to see you. And that's why dogs are so popular. They are always glad to see us.
So naturally, right, we're glad to see them. And a baby smile has exactly the same effect. The effect of a smile is super powerful. But what if we don't feel like smiling?
Then what? First, force yourself to smile. If you're alone, force yourself to whistle or sing. Act as if you are already happy and that will tend to make us more happy.
Everybody in the world is seeking happiness. and there's only one sure way to find it. And that is by controlling our thoughts. Because happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions.
It depends on inner conditions. And by smiling at the next person you interact with, you will see how much effect a single smile can have on another person's feelings. We've now gone over five principles that we can use to make other people like us. The more we use them, the more people will like us, and the more we will remember to use them ourselves. Remember what we talked about before?
Let's create this positive wave. of making hundreds of thousands of our friends and family happy through giving one person we know a sincere compliment. Let's both go and do this now. That's all I have to say in this video.
I'm out.