Inside Strategic Coach with Dan Sullivan and Shannon Waller

Topic: Insecurity and Its Solution

Definition of Insecurity

• Being in situations and activities where you don't belong
• Talking about topics you're unsure of
• Committing to activities requiring skills you don't have
• Comparing yourself to others instead of your past self

Causes of Insecurity

• Childhood experiences and treatment by others
• Lack of internal progress and capability
• Measuring internal feelings against external perceptions

Solution to Insecurity

• Liking who you are and accepting yourself
• Focusing on internal measurements of progress
• Mastering your internal capabilities
• Building self-confidence through real-world results

Important Concepts

1. Internal Progress Measurement: Happiness can only be measured internally by progress, not by external comparisons.
2. Trial and Error: Constant testing and improvement of internal capabilities through external results to confirm reality.
3. Self-Confidence vs Self-Esteem: Self-confidence is built from achieving real results, whereas self-esteem might be an unverified internal narrative.
4. Unique Ability: Discovering and expanding unique capabilities leads to unshakeable self-confidence.
5. Teamwork: Confident people work well with other confident people, as opposed to insecure individuals attracting more insecurity.
6. Rest and Recovery: Sleep is crucial for healing and maintaining capability; lack of sleep exacerbates insecurity.
7. Setting Small Goals: Start with achievable goals to build confidence incrementally.
8. Accepting Compliments: Embrace and trust other people's positive feedback as part of building internal confidence.

Practical Steps to Increase Confidence

• Set and achieve small, manageable goals (e.g., controlling one day of the week before tackling more)
• Track your own progress and focus on internal measurements
• Be useful to others and take satisfaction from helping them achieve progress
• Practice accepting compliments to reinforce positive feedback

Key Takeaways

• Insecurity often stems from inappropriate comparisons and lack of self-acceptance.
• Building self-confidence is a process of continuous internal measurement and external validation.
• Embracing your uniqueness and recognizing others' capabilities are critical to overcoming insecurity.