Lecture Notes: The Hidden Language of Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards

Introduction

• Gestures vs. Words: Our brains are significantly more likely to believe gestures over words due to the difficulty of lying with gestures.
• Vanessa Van Edwards: A behavioral investigator focusing on the science behind body language, micro-expressions, vocal tones, and first impressions.
• Charisma: Previously thought to be genetic, charisma is a learnable skill through understanding and using cues.

Key Concepts

Importance of Cues

• Cues and Success: Understanding and controlling the cues we send and receive is crucial for success in professional and personal settings.
• Warmth and Competence: 82% of impressions are based on these two factors.
• Impact on Life Areas: Mastery of cues can affect friendships, careers, and romantic relationships.

Research and Findings

• Learning Charisma: Charisma can be learned through study and practice of social cues.
• Vanessa's Work: Developed a framework helping 400,000 students improve social interactions.
• Introverts vs. Extroverts: Introverts can learn to communicate effectively without pretending to be extroverted.

Types of Cues

• Body Language: Facial expressions, gestures, posture.
• Vocal Cues: Tone, pace, volume, cadence.
• Verbal Cues: Word choice signaling warmth and competence.
• Ornaments: Colors, jewelry, hairstyles signaling different cues.

The Science of Words

• Power of Words: A single word can change how people perceive and interact with us.
• Examples: Words used in email, calendar invites, and profiles can preset expectations and emotions.

Key Strategies for Cues

Warmth Cues (For those seen as intimidating)

1. Triple Nod: Encourages longer responses from others.
2. Head Tilt: Signals active listening and understanding.
3. Authentic Smile: Reaches up to the eyes, signaling genuine warmth.
4. Lean In: Shows interest and engagement in conversation.
5. Non-Verbal Bridges: Small gestures or touches that signal connection.

Competence Cues (For those needing to be taken seriously)

1. Steeple Gesture: Signaling confidence and control.
2. Earlobe-Shoulder Distance: Maximizing distance signals confidence.
3. Eye Contact: Especially at the end of sentences to reinforce points.
4. Lower Lid Flex: Signals focus and understanding.
5. Downward Inflection: Signals conviction and confidence.

Challenges and Personal Development

• Resting Face: Awareness of how one's neutral face is perceived.
• Confidence through Practice: Using cues consistently builds innate confidence over time.
• Impact of Environment: Sitting near high performers enhances personal performance.

Conclusion

• Final Thoughts: Mastery of cues is essential for personal and professional success. It requires practice and intentionality, leveraging warmth and competence cues to make meaningful connections.

Note: For further reading and deeper understanding, consider exploring Vanessa Van Edwards' books and workshops on cues and body language.