if you think about what makes someone attractive or even the vibe so on and so forth it does come from that first question where it's like let go of that fear of what people will think of you you know you're out by yourself especially you in that little voice inside immediately it's gonna start saying like what's your name Brixton brick stone or brig I've not been to London recently all right I'll call you can I call you Briggs me I know it's totally off Brixton but I kind of like Briggs beat you look like a big city so you're out by yourself right Briggs be out Rigsby's and payout by himself and there's that little voice for real you're by yourself you don't have your friends to distract you that little boys gonna kick in it's like a hey B see those people over there they're staring at you right now they're judging you like all [ __ ] like a B you know when you were like should I wear this attire today do I look a little weird those people over there they think you are [ __ ] weird like literally your worst signer that's what that voice does even when you try to chill it's like hey remember yesterday when you ate a pizza you fat [ __ ] and you're like holy [ __ ] you know so it's hell and we're left that little voice and it just compounds you know we're so concerned like people are staring at me they probably don't even notice you okay if it's further than their arms you don't exist and if you're in this range you're blurry write that down I'm not even kidding if you're walking down the street first of all most people are in their phones but even if they're not how far ahead of you are you actually looking this far we literally live in a bubble or in the virtual world you know most people see their friends more often online than in person you know and even if you're walking down the street it's like are you zoning in on strangers no like who does that right do you ever see someone like actually sit down like see her in the street and just like really zoning in on the details of people walking by never even your closest friend do they Zone in on you like a beat let me just analyze your face real fast no you're just blurry even if you're this close you're blurry do they notice all the little details like is that a wrinkle on your shirt I don't know what wrinkle wasn't there yesterday oh you know what you look a little more tired a little more - oh who's that little pimple thing I see there I didn't notice that before no one does that do you do that now you know we don't notice [ __ ] to the point where even couples if you're in a couple you'll relate you don't even notice when your partner gets a [ __ ] haircut right like they'll even tell you it's like I'm going out to get a haircut you're like cool and you see them right after you're like eh so anyway remember this thing you're like do you not notice anything different like what are you talking about oh boom haircut you won't even notice it you know who didn't notice [ __ ] with me when I shaved my beard off you guys ever see that of the soul I decided last year to grow this hobo beard and it looked really bad and I was in Berlin and I'm like you know what [ __ ] this beard it's coming off and I shaved it off and for me because I'm so close to the beard I look like a [ __ ] freak like when you shave off a beard you're like this is what I look like put it back on you just want it back it's horrible and I went out that night it's like man all my friends are gonna they're gonna notice it they're gonna mock my ugly ass face without the beard so on and so forth and I saw them and one noticed the other two didn't even notice right three people who are like on tour with me spending every day with me with this [ __ ] ugly ass beard shave it one's like ice that's that's all he said the other two would like so anyway where are we going tonight and I'm like do you not notice anything but like what oh oh the beard oh yeah so anyway oh no one notices and then beyond that remind yourself to like this is really the difference between people who win or lose it's the people who are like in those instances or it's like what are people gonna think they still take action cuz it's not just you like this is everyone it doesn't matter what environment you're in you're not going to want to say embarrassing things right especially in a place where you're kind of confined with people like say you're in a Starbucks like and there's a long line it's like really quiet and you're right in there that'll probably be very scary for you right what if during that time it's like you know what start singing like and it's either suits everyone however the people who do it who like bite it they're like you know what [ __ ] it I kind of feel it but I don't give a [ __ ] and they do it they get ahead because everyone else is too scared so it's in those moments where it's like you're either a winner or a loser how do you become interesting what what determines say if you're talking to someone okay here's the situation you meet someone you don't know you meet what determines if what you're gonna say is going to be interesting or not yes be interested in what you're saying so this is key whether you're meeting someone new or you're already in a conversation it's just really boring start owning what you're saying and this means talk about [ __ ] that you like if you're someone's for example into mathematics talk about that that would actually be the most interesting thing you can say if you're someone who's just nerding out at home like two plus two equals four but yeah and you're just like that's my vision like that's a nerding out is to me like literally just writing out equals four and like that's you talk about that that should be the first thing that you say it's like hey nice to meet you I'm Julianne hey do you know two plus two equals [ __ ] four even if they know they're gonna get drawn in okay even if they're know it's like one person is surprised like oh I did not know you know even if they know they're still gonna get sucked in because it's what you're into okay now beyond that okay start nerding out start owning it also start living a more interesting life you got to break the [ __ ] routine right now if you think your life is boring or you're like you know what there's nothing interesting about me or what I do switch it up why are you not living a more interesting life right that should be the question it shouldn't be like well can I learn about more topics or things to say no it's like live a more interesting life and immediately when you hear this you're probably thinking oh that's expense I'm too poor to live an interesting life right that's actually the thought I'm too poor to live an interesting life what no in reality and this is big by the way the less money you have the more interesting the life in a way the crazier the life in a way okay I always take it back to if you're travelling and say you go to Europe you're like you know what I'm gonna go to Europe for two weeks go on an adventure and say there's two people there's one who has a lot of money and one who doesn't which one would have the more adventurous journey in Europe the person who's broke as [ __ ] takes the the plane where there's like two layover sitting in the back and just like you know going on the [ __ ] bus at the airport trying to find where they're gonna stay staying at a shitty ass hostel with like eight other people or the other person who's like you know what first-class [ __ ] you're not just first-class I want like the first row like I want the whole first-class just for me I arrived there I want a [ __ ] limo driver and I want to say about the penthouse of this place okay that's cool it's very comforting it's very convenient but which one makes for the better story do you really have to think it's like oh you know those beds were very cushy at that nice hotel no it's the person who's like aha man and I got in this place and it was crazy and disgusting in the hostel and oh my god this one person in the hostel shat the bed in all this [ __ ] but way more interesting story right way more just thing and a lot cheaper now let's go even cheaper than that how can you do it for free literally break the routine if you look at your weekly routine you know we all think our life so it changes all the time it's not true it's like it's a very predictable what can you do that will just break that come here as one but you know what else say on the weekend leave your phone at home I was like leave your phone at home walk out the front door make a right and keep walking straight for 40 minutes and see where you end up and guess what now you're on a little adventure you know got your phone you don't have GPS anymore you're in this new ass place I guess you could walk 40 minutes back whenever you're like well here I am that is an adventure and guess what just that you don't think that's interesting to talk about so yeah nice to meet you know what I did yesterday walk 30 minutes to the right they're like what and there's your story you're like yeah you know it's kind of a boring [ __ ] went to this weird seminar and this guy said just turn right and walk straight and here I you know just that will make it way more interesting a lot of activities you can do them for extremely cheap go out and do crazy [ __ ] you just got to put yourself in those situations where stuff can happen you got to get out of that comfort you know first-class padded routine that is life switch it up for real imagine - when you do this by the way that you're coaching you because that's the key cuz you know all your excuses even hearing this you're like that's a great idea but I'm never gonna do it alright and say you need to it's like you know what I'm never gonna do this but I know it would help me coach yourself you know your own psychology like say you're your own coach and you told yourself tomorrow walk for forty minutes to the right what excuses are gonna come up with and say you had a coach you how are you good how can you make it so that you do it that's a frame of mind I take by the way I know all my excuses and I know all my comebacks and it's the perfect challenge to try to you know trick myself into taking right action because I know how my mind works you should do the same if you had to coach you and create a situation where it is impossible for you to not do it what would you do or say to yourself so that you did it and then do that okay and it's funny too little side tangent here how we tend to think that so much of growth is uncomfortable like going out and say dealing with different social pressure or say there's something you're procrastinating with now you're like oh it's just this drag to do it really isn't if you take that frame of mind of coaching yourself how can you do it so you just don't have a choice and as soon as you don't have a choice now it's gone the back and forth what's weighing you down is when there's an option you want to know how to not have a choice right now whatever it is you're procrastinating on give a thousand bucks to your friend and tell your friend if I don't do this you keep the money you're gonna do whatever it is you're [ __ ] procrastinating on assuming a thousand is a considerable sum for you if not give him ten thousand twenty thousand now with that you know the hardest part it's a second it's here man that's it that's the hardest part is giving your friend the cash after that you don't have a choice so there's no longer should I shouldn't I I'm gonna [ __ ] do it or I lose the money so operate it like that you got to be smart if it's this big drag start thinking practically how can i coach myself how can I create all these different situations so that I don't have a choice and then you just do those split seconds of uncomfort where you give your buddy the money and now you just do it and you just keep doing that and it becomes very easy really become aware of the dynamic of who's chasing who okay and this is key you can even go one day throughout your day and just start scanning different interactions you know you will actually be that weirdo looking in detail and ask yourself who cares more about this interaction for who is it a bigger deal right who has more value who's reacting more to the other person and it's a very subtle dynamic but you need to start training yourself to recognize this not so you become paranoid just so you have a basic understanding of it instead of just a you know being blind to it so who has more value who cares more what are some of the tells do you know okay what are the tells of reactivity trying for a pour that's a good one so in the vocal tonality you will sense the voice kind of go up at the end like hey what really oh really whoa you'll see that a little bit of jitteriness a little too fast faster pace you know so what do you do I do this a little too excited heightened emotional responses so on and so forth so start noticing that and then there are certain things you can do to kind of play with that dynamic if you want to be interesting and really suck someone into what you're saying you got to be more a dee dee you know we're all extremely logical we're like well to make it interesting I'm gonna talk about the most interesting topic and extreme death and only that one topic it's too boring you got to be a dee dee you got to switch a lot of topics and leave a lot of those topics unending a lot of those stories unending you know who did this the Avengers movie anyone see that infinity war movie did you like it I liked it you want to know why it was so captivating because they did this as soon as it started getting a little too boring or predictable like say there's two characters like Iron Man and some other [ __ ] you know dude and they're talking you're like Iron Man if I can do after a while you're gonna get a little bored cuz okay well it's Iron Man I'm kind of used to it now what would they do switch to another storyline with two other characters so there's newness and another story you're like oh now there's this [ __ ] Captain America oh [ __ ] okay kind of guy used to Captain America I wonder what happened Iron Man again boom and they were just alternate between all these different storylines and all these different characters and the small little you could say social media Instagram stories of one minutes how is the whole movie it's one minute just shifting between all these characters and different stories that all go together and guess what because it's so wide because there's all these stories going on because you're always thinking what happened to them what happened to them what I've done captivating that's literally the formula you want to know what's gonna happen in endgame the same thing remember this remember this moment you're gonna be watching them this might ruin the movie for you're like [ __ ] endgame they're tricking me the hill open loops for real just look at it you're gonna see every minute shift shift shift shift new characters new story new scenes especially nowadays because we're so bored and so conditioned this fast-paced information with social media so do that in conversations don't just have this I start my sentence I end my sentence I start my story I end my story be more a didi be more all over the place if something pops in oh and it makes me think of this and it makes me think of this and this and this and this Reles people it okay you can also add a magical little word here to kind of spice it up too which is never mind and this kind of goes into playing on that investment or your you could say who's chasing who there's always one person qualifying themselves more like if I ask you what's your name by the way now immediately wait that's it that's all you do where you from by the way that's okay anyway what about know you music what does that mean Irvine what what how does that play into it by the way are you and your 20s okay make sense and what's your favorite movie okay now funny enough if I meet someone new and I'm just [ __ ] around that's what most of the first say five to 10 minutes of an interactions like it's just these questions and me too soon huh never mind makes me think of makes it never mind literally it's me asking questions now we think this is bad like what do you mean how can you real someone in asking questions by doing what I just did it's not in the question per se it's in the vibe behind it so the way most people ask a question is it's very needy it's like hey so um do you like Avengers huh like trying to get something and that's what's repulsive it's not the question per se it's the energy they get off it as opposed to by the way do you like Avengers that's an offering of value do you like Avengers even though I'm asking a question now immediately it's like well especially if there's like there's something behind it like by the way do you like adventures you're like well yes I do oh and what does that mean it's very like tell me the meaning behind that and then you just stack it it's like so okay so vendor's what's your very TV show No you friends why favourite band okay that's another one too it's like even interrupt before the end of the sentence or the end of the word in a way you're setting the rhythm where it's like now you're leading and immediately you're like chasing chasing chasing this is not something you you want to consciously do all the time but at first you just kind of get a feel for this dynamic it's so key because I'm like oh interesting Joey huh are your parents divorced Julianne nice to meet bump done just like that and you just pay on it so again interesting I'm interested where I'm saying I'm offering value good vibe I can go into stories and if I will go stories I'll tend to be a little bit more EDD but just adding those little things make someone extremely captivated and what you're saying okay and you can apply this in all circumstance whether it's meeting someone new whether it's at work whether it whatever it is add a few of those immediately people will get drawn it you