all right adam give us the weather forecast weather forecast it appears to be a very sunny warm day very light breeze nothing too crazy today or i'm full of [ __ ] and we're literally about to be hit by a hurricane it's uh what an hour the hurricane's coming i started getting sucked out of my body like someone threw a vacuum cleaner in the back of my head or like from the matrix when you know they've got that plug and they unplug it felt like that it felt like i was getting pulled i remember the feeling very vividly backwards like getting sucked out is the best i can describe it and i was not ready for this the nitrous is designed to knock you out dmt knocks you out 5meo dmt knocks you out so my dumbass had combined three different compounds all designed to knock you the [ __ ] out and i think i can fight it no i should have just prepared to be knocked out but i was like nah i just wanted a light trip just something really you know easy to manage so i fought it and i remember vividly the thoughts that were protruding into my mind as i'm struggling to hold on to my body hold on to you know being the puppeteer of this physical form it was like i had the undeniable realization wash over me like one of those waves that would have hit us out there and sucked us to the sea if we stayed filming during a hurricane that absolutely everything every part of this physical reality every part of the known universe to me my ego myself was like a game like i knew that it was all fake like i knew that uh my relationship didn't ultimately matter because it wasn't real i knew that i wasn't real nothing was real this was essentially just a hologram and this isn't just like an inclining this is like a totally all-encompassing knowing i didn't want it i wanted to push that feeling as far out of my brain as i could possibly push it because you don't want to believe that your children aren't real it was heartbreaking like i could i saw my children's faces and it was like yeah they're they're part of this simulation too it feels real but um they're not you're not absolutely nothing is in the sense of how you believe real to be because it is real in another sense electrical impulses to the brain that's what feelings are like it's not real in the sense of well one liberating way is that this is all there is this is not all there is there is much more going on this is just how we're perceiving reality to be at this specific moment it almost feels like time is the secret ingredient that ties all of this together and makes it a actual experience a virtual experience without time it would just be a mess it would kind of be akin to a human being trying to stand up without a skeleton you just be a pile of skin but more in a circular way because no matter where you put your finger on a circle it's always going to be the beginning and the end simultaneously it doesn't matter where you touch it there's some kind of truth and a unifying experience that happens when you give physical form and this beginning middle end type timeline where like you can you know there's a past present and future that whole i'm moving forward through something that's what creates this whole experience i'm making no sense i'm trying to because when you have these trips you feel like time is like a circle the past present and future is all happening simultaneously it's a really unique experience that i'm having trouble articulating it's weird because all of this is happening in a flash like how do you have all these realizations in a minute and it's because you're you feel like you're no longer constrained by the bounds of time but it's all superseded by the feeling of i don't want to let go of my kids i love my kids like there's people i i love that like i feel like i'm alive for and nobody wants to realize that their entire reality is like a game of you know you can just turn it off and on hit reset it doesn't really matter it's it's it's uh it hurts like it really hurts and it's it's terrifying so my immediate gut reaction was to like try to try to hit reverse on this suction and blow out my soul back into my physical form so i could grab a trip killer and like i managed to get enough energy to like fly up out of my seat and i remember i just went stumbling towards i had this little room underneath the stairs with like this door that had like this tiny little speck handle that you had to like really clone to pull out i'm like trying to get the door open i'm searching searching through the safe to get the trip killers i grabbed them i didn't know what to do so i think i took like four or five of them like way too many i just needed one but in that state i didn't even i just knew that that was something that was going to bring me back to the realization that or to the um hallucination that all of this is real so i down the trip killers and then i was like instantly felt better even though of course by the time the trip ends the trip killers won't even be anywhere near close to taking effect then i booked it upstairs to find my girlfriend and to like you know have her help remind me that all of this was real and um essentially long story short um within five minutes you know the trip ended me like forcing my body to get up and like move and do stuff uh it i still felt like i was in this complete hallucination this fabricated reality but i distracted myself long enough to calm down and uh yeah it was terrifying it's interesting telling the story because i feel like the experience would have been dramatically different had i went into it and just let go like i could have transcended that terrifying this is all fake into like this blissful realization of what reality truly is and i could have felt liberated and free but instead i let the ego take over and whenever you trip and you go full on into the ego you're going to perceive everything as negative and terrifying like that same realization could be could be seen in two different ways one would be wow if none of this is real then it doesn't matter how [ __ ] up life gets ultimately there's something bigger there's there's something more divine that you can throw your eggs in that basket and then if they get cracked then who gives a [ __ ] because they don't even exist to begin with or you can go in this other basket where it's like the eggs are cracked you're dead you're done what's done is done and it's more of a depressing uh reality this is what happens people have these bad trips and they don't allow themselves key word is allow themselves the blissful experience because the fear always comes first it's like a picture like a doorway and if you step through this door you're entering think of the most euphoric like heaven experience possible but to get to heaven you got to walk through a little bit of hell and most people they hit that hell and they go running for the hills when it's like if they just went a little bit further the whole world would uh your entire world would be forever changed for the positive anyway i hope you guys all learned something from this story if you're going to combine substances make sure you're ready to let the [ __ ] go or else don't do it if you enjoyed this video make sure you check out our patreon you guys keep this channel alive link to patreon over here more videos coming soon and uh pray for us hopefully jeff and i survived this [ __ ] hurricane oh also make sure you like and subscribe to this video and leave a comment below and let me know about a time when you mixed way too many drugs and couldn't let go but yeah [ __ ] how you feeling bro i'm feeling good i was actually a little paranoid that uh something like some tree would come and like smash me while you were filming [Laughter] oh my goodness