making taking the risk of not always sounding brilliant we're modeling for you as an audience what we hope you'll do during the discussion we hope that you will join us uh and making mistakes and not sounding Polished in order to be present in the moment with each other uh even in the isolation of our machines not being in the same room with each other without judgment and with shared vulnerability this is what makes us human and it's the only way forward as far as we're concerned so here's what you need to know about the first of the two plays we're going to perform for you uh today it's called Ajax by Sophocles uh and uh here's here's we're going to drop you right into it here's what you need to know the story of Ajax begins in the ninth year of the Trojan War the Greeks have been on the Trojan Battlefront for nine long years no one has gone home no one has seen his family it's been one long nine-year deployment and over those nine long years the Greeks have lost many of their greatest warriors and leaders recently ailles died on the battlefield greatest of all Greek warriors um Achilles was so great the Greeks thought he was invincible but he had that one place where he could be shot is Achilles heel and that's where the enemy took him with the help of a God and in the ninth year of the Trojan War the greatest of all Greek warriors went down and this was a major blow to the Greek army they never thought they'd see this day never conceived they'd lose their greatest leader but they had no time to mourn their loss no way of processing their grief all they could do is suck it up and Soldier on with the fight Ajax was not known to be the greatest but he was known to be the strongest of All Greek warriors Ajax was so strong the Greeks called him the shield because he and his unit were always on the most forward of location sustaining the greatest losses laying their lives down for the Greek army Ajax was an upstanding leader who won Battles Through core values like honor courage commitment he always tried to do the right thing even in the fog of war and in addition to being Achilles very close friend he was also his cousin and so when Achilles died no one mourned his loss more than Ajax and if you Google this later you'll find vase paintings from over 2500 years ago of the mighty Ajax carrying the body of his Fallen Friend Achilles over his shoulder mournfully off the battlefield in the ancient world the greatest honor was to receive the armor of someone honorable even if it was your enemy but especially if it was your friend so to receive the armor of Achilles was the greatest honor one could receive in the Trojan War and because of everything he had done for his country because of the men he had lost because of the nine long years of non-stop fighting and I don't think I can stress this enough because of his unresolved grief over the loss of his best friend and cousin uh Ajax believed he deserved the armor of Achilles and so did everyone else everyone else thought he deserved it too but unfortunately as these things go sometimes in the ancient now in the modern world the process by which the award of the armor was given out got political and the generals decide to hold a contest to see who deserves the armor of Achilles and one of the competitions in the contest is speechmaking and while Ajax was always great with his strength and courage he was never great with words and he tried to make a speech but he couldn't find the words and he stumbled all over himself made an embarrassment of himself in front of the Greek army and then Ajax watched odyusa odyusa an upper level administrator a man who wears a suit to work a man who wins battles from the rear through strategy and some sometimes even deceit odys comes onto the scene and he makes this beautiful perfect speech about why he deserves the armor of Achilles and then Ajax watches the generals award his best friend's armor to Odus and this is a blow that Ajax can barely withstand it humiliates him in front of his fellow soldiers it um shames him devalues his identity and Ajax walks away from his own men and goes down to the tents uh where he lives with his wife Tech Messa and his three-year-old son urasaki is completely overwhelmed uh with uh feeling betrayed by the generals above him and through the night Ajax Paces the floor of his tent consumed with an allc consuming rage for the generals who passed him over for odys is I mean for kill's armor and then finally just at midnight against the pleading of his wife Ajax leaves behind his tent under cover of night he goes down to the General's tents with his weapon drawn with every intention of taking their lives and he slips inside the General's tents as they sleep in their beds and he raises his weapon high in the air and just as Ajax is about to strike the sleeping generals Athena enters the tent goddess of wisdom and War goddess of military Justice she blinds Ajax sends him reeling out of the tent into a field full of animals cows goats sheep Ajax has no idea how he got there but trembling with nine long years of pent up rage and frustration and anger and unresolved grief Ajax vents all of his anger all of his rage on the animals around him slitting throats snapping spines lopping off heads in a matter of seconds he annihilates a field full of animals with the Precision of a trained Warrior and in so doing he enters into a berserk State of Mind in which he begins to believe the animals he's killing are the very men he came to kill and he drags several of them back to his tent and continues to torture them in front of his wife in front of his son through the night taking pleasure in their pain feeling it long last that he has finally vanquished his so-called enemies the play begins at dawn when the generals hear the rumor of what Ajax came to do they immediately dispatch a unit to go find out if he's the one and if he they find out that he did what they think he did then they have orders to take Ajax out and as the light is breaking ajax's own men they have heard the rumor to they see the trail of blood leading into the tent they don't know if it's true and they begin to debate among themselves whether to stay or to abandon their leader in his moment of need just when a small fraction of the men begins to break off and head for the ships finally ajax's wife comes out of the tent runs down the dirt path throws herself down in front of his men and begs them to stay and help her stop Ajax from harming himself or anyone else when he sees what he's actually done oh you salt of the earth you Sailors who serve Ajax those of us who care for the the house of telmon will soon wail for our Fierce hero sits Shell Shocked in his tent glazed over gazing into Oblivion he has the thousand yard stare what Terror has visited him in the night to reverse his fortunes by morning tell us te Mesa battle one bride for no one is closer to Ajax than you so you will speak as one who knows how can I say something that should never be spoken you would rather die than hear what I am about to say say a Divine madness has poisoned his mind tainting his name during the night our home is a slaughter house littered with cow carcasses and goats gushing thick blood throats slit horn to Horn by his hand evil Omens of things to come then it is true what they say about the hot-headed man the great story grows louder and louder with each Greek who tells it I am afraid of what lies on the horizon he will die when he looks around and sees what he has done for with his Dark Sword and his mad hand he chopped the herds and herdsmen into pieces over there over there that is where he dragged them bound with ropes he executed some inside forcing them to the ground the rest he tore apart savagely scratching away at their flanks with his fingers with one quick chop he severed the head of a white right footed RAM and Let It Drop to the floor then grabbing another by the throat he tied it down and ripped out its tongue and then he lashed it with his harsh whip until there was nothing left to lash all the while spewing vile words that must have come from a God the time has come for us to hide our faces and run as far as we can or board the ships and row wherever the ocean will allow hounded by sharp words and hard Stones hurled by the generals and their men we must try to escape his fate he has come back to his senses and as a warm wind always follows the last lightning flash his rage has been swept away only to reveal fresh wounds for nothing is more troubling for a man than to discover an evil crime of which he is the culprit look if if the fury has has left him then he will start to feel better soon for the source of his suffering has vanished tell me given the choice which would you prefer happiness while your friends are in pain are to share in their suffering yeah twice the pain is twice as worse then we'll get sick while he recovers ah what do you mean do not follow the logic of your words in his madness he took pleasure in the evil that possessed him all the while afflicting those of us nearby but now the fever has broken all his pleasure has turned to pain and we are still Afflicted just as before twice the pain is twice the sorrow I am afraid of that some God struck him down for his anguish grows as his sanity returns it is true but still hard to understand how did the madness first take hold of him tell us we will stay and share in the pain since your pain is now mine I will share this with you too in the dead of night when the lamps no longer burned Ajax found his sword and moved for the door naturally I objected where are you going no messenger has come calling for help all the soldiers are asleep please come back to bed he turned to me and he firmly said woman silence becomes a woman I've heard him say that before and I know what it means so I quit asking questions and he left without without saying a word whatever happened next I cannot say but soon he returned pulling bulls and sheep tied up with ropes dealing with some he locked off their heads slit their throats and snapped spines other he's he tortured as if they were men finally he dashed outside and spoke to someone in the shadows cursing the generals and adicus bragging and laughing about Sweet Revenge he quickly returned into the tent and he slowly returned to his senses when he finally saw what he had done taking in the Carnage he struck his head and groaned like a bull diving onto the bodies rolling in their blood pling in his face staring at his hair for a long time he sat in silence rocking on the floor but then he wanted to know what happened and threatened to hurt me if I didn't tell him what I knew I feared for my life and I quickly coughed up this story he started to make these low sounds the kind i' never thought I'd hear him make for he always told his men crying was for women and cowards tired from all the tears he now rests in his mess strangely silent refusing food or water planning to do something terrible I can hear it in his voice that is why I came to you go inside and see what you can do men will often listen to friends terrible are the evils of which you spoke that drove him mad I'm afraid things will soon get worse did you hear that low groan rolling up from ajax's throat either he must be ill or is made Sick by the thought of his illness my boy bring me my boy oh God no no where is he he wants to see his boy yuris toster where is sir always out rating I'm in here dying he's never near when I need him most that is a sane man's voice open the door perhaps he'll snap out of it with shame when he sees familiar faces there they are open now you can see him as he is and look upon the evil he has done you Sailors you loyal friends you stood by me through the worst of times do you see the wave of Destruction full of tring guts crashing on all sides sadly you are right he has come unhinged you skilled sailors who join me on the Open Seas to Roar against our enemies you are the only men who can help me now cut my throat right here right now add me to this pile in my suffering do not say these things we will not cure evil with evil for if we try the the pain will only grow worse than the illness that brought it upon you do you see what I have done I was the bravest in battle never lost my wits and now I've killed these harmless Barnyard animals with my hands what a joke my life has become my reputation my sense of Honor Lord Ajax I beg you not to talk this way will you leave me alone will you not go please please please relent use your head I was the one who who let his enemy slip away and turned upon bulls and white ghosts to shed black blood in the night what is done is done sir there is no changing the past you slick trickster you cowardly Fox double crossing arrogant Odysseus I can hear your loud laughter rattling in my skull mocking me for this mistake the gods say when men laugh and cry if I could only look him in the eye even though I am destroyed swallow your proud words sir don't you see the quicksand in which we now stand s father of my forefathers kill that man of many turns the one I hate along with the brother Kings then let me die pray for my death too I will not live when you are dead darkness my light black abyss take me down into Oblivion for I am no longer worthy to live among gods or men Athena graye God is daughter of Zeus will torture me until I am dead Nowhere to Run nowhere to escape my greatness dies upon this heap of Beast I defeated myself with delusions it's hard to hear a strong man say such weak words you surging Straits roaring with waves you caves you grows along the coast you have held me at Troy for many long long years no longer no longer when I have ceased to fill my lungs with air I speak to those who understand you River streams of Commander killer of greets you shall never see me again see my face in your Waters I will say it plainly the face of the best warrior ever to be seen in Troy who came from Greece and Now lies here wallowing in filth stripped of all honor it is not for me to say if you should hold back or go on this way having seen the evil things you've seen a hey Jax my name is a sad song who would have thought it would someday become the sound a man makes in despair hey Jax after Troy my father telman rode home in a Victory Parade he made quite a name for himself here in this country receiving full honors from the Army but now I the son stand in the place where my father once stood with no less troops no fewer triumphs but my body will brought upon strange soil Dishonored in front of fellow soldiers this much I know if Achilles still lived and decided to hold a contest for his arms awarding them to The Greatest Warrior at the end of the day they would be mine but the generals gave the arms to a man without morals ignoring all the times I risked my life to defend them against our enemies and if my eyes and mind had not been Twisted by a sickness take taking me off Target the generals and Odysseus would have not lived to cast their Vats let alone see the morning but the Relentless [ __ ] daughter of Zeus ravaged me with Madness as I Stood Beside their beds and so stained my hands with the cows with with the blood of cows the men I hunted down narrowly escaped through no thought of my own they laugh at me for with the God's help the weak evaded the strong what should I do now the gods hate me the Greeks Lo me the Trojans despise me perhaps I should set sail for home across the Open Sea leaving behind the ships and men and the sons of Atrius but what will I say to my father telon when he sees my face how will he bear to even look at me when I explain have I have disgraced our family name for which he fought so hard his heart will break right then and there should I scale the walls of Troy and face the Army by myself show them what I'm made of and then die no that would only please the generals I must do something bold to erase all doubt in my father's mind that his son was anything but a coward when a man suffers without an end in sight and takes no pleasure in living his life day by day wishing for death he should not live out all his years it is pitiful when men hold on to false hopes a great man must live in honor or die in honorable death that is all I have to say about that no one will ever say that what you just said was spoken by anyone other than you Ajax your words were true to your heart and spirit but just for a moment release your thoughts and listen to what those who love you you have to say Lord Ajax there is nothing worse in this world for men than the necessity of Fate I come from a very wealthy family my father was the richest man in Fria now I am a slave the God's will that you would win me with your strength and I have accepted my destiny of sharing your bed and have come with time to love you very much and so I beg you by our home and by the bed that we share do not let me suffer at the hands of your enemies do not turn me over to the men whom you hate for on the day that you die moments after your death your son and I will be snatched up violently by the Greeks and treated like slaves one of my new Masters will sneer at me and say look there is that woman the Mistress of Ajax the strongest Warrior in the entire Army can you actually believe that people used to Envy her she is nothing now but a common slave that's what he'll say and worse and the pain of it will be my fate and the shame of it will stain your family think about your father whom you will be abandoning in the throws of old age and your poor old mother who spends all her days praying that you will someday return home alive and what about your son can you imagine how hard your death will be on him growing up fatherless and without food on the table living with men who hate him for being your son I have nowhere else to go no one to whom to turn my parents are dead you destroyed my homeland my safety my life nothing nothing else matters but you I ask you I ask you to remember remember all the good times we had and to treat me kindly please for a noble man always rememb those who gave him pleasure and protects them from danger I hope you will pity this woman and welcome her words as we do I will welcome her when she has done as she's been told my dear aex I shall always do as you say then bring me my boy so I can see him forgive me sir forgive me I hit him in fear were you afraid that he would see his father covered in blood I was afraid he would lose his life if you laid eyes on him I suppose that was right given the state I was in I tried my best to keep him out of Tom's way I approve of your actions you showed great foresight Jax why can't I do to make things better between us let me see my boy he has guarded me nearby why am I made to wait for him come with me come with me Lord Ajax come I will show you where he is hiding I have grown so homick over these days and months encamped on the outskirts of Troy worn down by the Torches of time waiting here to die and so someday set foot on the black dust of Hades shs and now I must care for incurable Ajax his mind infected by Divine madness caught up in his thoughts he unnerves his friends as we watch his greatest acts of Bravery slip through his fingers only to be forgotten erased from history by the generals the suffering patient who lives on with endless Affliction is better when he rests in Hades great mysterious this time reveals and conceals all things Darkness into light light Into Darkness nothing is beyond its reach curses sworn in Wild rage are reversed iron Wills Bend even I who just moments ago stood unmovable and now moved by the words of this woman I do not wish to make her a widow or abandon my boy at the feet of the enemy I shall scrub off this Grime in the salt marshes by the Sea cleanse away the goddess's rage then I will find virgin Earth in which to bury this sword worst of all weapons where no one will look upon it again engulfed in Shadows protected by Hades it was a gift from Hector my deadliest enemy Hector the saying is true the gifts of enemies are never gifts in time I will yield to the gods and learn to obey the generals they are my superiors and as a soldier I must follow their orders go inside woman pray to the gods that I will achieve what I have in my heart to do pray with her friends and when tuser comes relay these orders look after me and be loyal to you in all ways I will now go where I must go do as I have asked and you will see that as unlucky as I have been today I am now saved and to scene one so for scene two here's all you need to know Ajax Slips Away uh from his camp and he goes down to the Salt marshes by the sea with the sword of his of Hector his enemy's sword but instead of burying the sword deep in the earth as he said he would do he buries it blade up in the sand and so as scene two begins Ajax is now standing on a sand dune no one for Miles staring at the blade gleaming in the sunlight contemplating what he's going to do the killer now stands where it will cut the best in enemy soil a gift from Hector my mortal enemy recently sharpened on an iron grinding stone now packed firmly in the earth so it will deliver a quick and easy death all set I call upon Zeus father of my father only to ask one thing that the news of my death is delivered to Tusa so he may be the first to see me covered in blood having fallen upon this sharp sword so that I may not be discovered by my enemies who will feed my body to the vultures and dogs this is all I ask I call out to Hermes escort of the Dead who delivers men to the underworld to guide this sword as it pierces my rib cage so it skewers my heart and ends my life instantly sparing me pain after the plunge I call upon the furies those long striding dread maidens who avenge humans and SE to their endless suffering witness how the generos have destroyed me train your eyes on those evil men snatch them with your talents and just as I die at my own hands may they also be murdered by their own flesh and blood it's feeding time Gorge yourselves from the generals and their men fiercely descend upon the army devour it whole spare no Soldier I call upon you Helios as your burning Chariot streaks across the sky when you come to my home pull back your blazing reins and pause to announce my death to my poor old father and to the pitiful woman who nursed me as a child no doubt she will hear the news her wailing will be heard through the hills no more talk of Tears it's time death oh death come now and visit I shall miss the light of day in the sacred fields of Salam where I played as a boy in great Athens and oh my friends I call out to you rivers and springs fields and plains who nourished me during those long years at Troy these are the last words you will hear Ajax speak the rest I shall say to those who will listen in the world below does that sound coming from the trees Reed I am wretched I see the battle one bride overcome with grief it's over friends everything is lost lost what is it Ajax freshly dead impaled on his sword oh there will be no more hope of homecoming he has killed us with his death we'll be dead upon a rival coming back in body bags poor woman he has died and we must weep by whose hand did he go down by his own look at how the sword juts out from the earth how could I have been so blind so deaf to your cries as the red blood gush from a hole in your chest where is he where is unbending AES whose name is now a sad sad song he is not to be seen I will cover his body with a white cloth for no one who loved him could bear to see the black blood drip from his nostrils and the deep self-inflicted wound the gaping hole the center of his chest what am I to do now which one of you will lift him where is T sir he should be here now to help to prepare the body for burial we don't have much time oh Ajax this wasn't a way to die not for you even your enemies will weep you you see you a man of many turns now mocks our suffering he's laughing at us along with the generals let them laugh let them all laugh they won't laugh long when they lack his shield in combat evil men only appreciate good men like Ajax after they're gone his death is bitter to me as it is sweet to them and pleasant for him for he died according to his own wishes they have no reason to claim victory over him for it was a God who took his life not them let odsi curse his name and hurl hard words Ajax won't hear them he is gone far away from here he knows neither their laughter nor my love Mo end of scene two this is the end of our dramatic presentation from Ajax from this evening thank you very much for your attention um this is not where the play ends uh we want to get to our second play uh but briefly here's what happens in the scenes that follow this is like the halfway mark in the play um people come and they argue over what should happen to ajax's body the generals Manus and Agamemnon essentially say that the corpse should be left unburied uh Dishonored uh because of what took place and in the final scenes of the play um uh odyss comes in the last seconds of the play The Very man who won the armor of Achilles sending Ajax into this state and he defends ajax's body to the general Agamemnon and says of of Ajax I am moved by admiration for his greatness rather than hatred for his smallness many of our friends some later become our enemies I don't see friends and enemies as mutually exclusive and he tries to convince Agamemnon to allow Ajax to be buried um and Agamemnon is not interested in arguments and he washes his hands of the situation and he walks away and the play ends with a funeral procession not the high Honors that Ajax would have received has life not taken this precipitous turn but a burial nonetheless that honored his Humanity his family and his sacrifice and I mentioned this ending more than 2500 years later um uh because many of the audiences for whom we've performed especially in military settings still wrestle with some of the core questions at the center of this play these are Big questions that also pervade the mental health world as well how do we honor the Great accomplishments of men and women like Ajax um the sacrifices they've made without honoring the violence that sometimes takes place in their lives how do we balance those needs how do we support their families we're going to come back to those questions as we get into our discussion later but now I'm going to shift gears to our second play uh which mercifully for our evening format uh 4 a Greek tragedy uh is shorter and