chapter 24 of Jane a this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org recording by Elizabeth clet Jane air by Charlotte Bronte chapter 24 as I Rose and dressed I thought over what had happened and wondered if it were a dream I could not to be certain of the reality till I had seen Mr Rochester again and heard him renew his words of love and promise while arranging my hair I looked at my face in the glass and felt it was no longer plain there was hope in its aspect and life in its color and my eyes seemed as if they had beheld the Fountain of fruition and borrowed beams from the lustrous Ripple I had often been unwilling to look at my master because I feared he could not be pleased at my look but I was sure I might lift my face to his now and not cool his affection by its expression I took a plain but clean and Light summer dress from my drawer and put it on it seemed no attire had ever so well become me because none had I ever worn in so Blissful a mood I was not surprised when I ran down into the Hall to see that a brilliant June morning had succeeded to The Tempest of the night and to feel through the Open Glass Door the breathing of a fresh and fragrant Breeze nature must must be gladsome when I was so happy a beggar woman and her little boy pale ragged objects both were coming up the walk and I ran down and gave them all the money I happened to have in my purse some three or four Shillings good or bad they must partake of my Jubilee the Rooks called and blither Birds Sang but nothing was so merry or so musical as my own rejoicing heart Mrs Fairfax surprised me by looking out of the window with a sad countenance and saying great gely miss a will you come to breakfast during the meal she was quiet and cool but I could not undeceive her then I must wait for my master to give explanations and so must she I ate what I could and then I hastened upstairs I met Adele leaving the school room where are you going it is time for lessons Mr Rochester has sent me away to the nursery where is he in there pointing to the apartment she had left and I went in and there he stood come and bid me good morning said he I gladly Advanced and it was not merely a cold word now or even a shake of the hand that I received but an Embrace and a kiss it seemed natural it seemed genial to be so well loved so caressed by him Jane you look blooming and smiling and pretty said he truly pretty this morning is this my pale little elf is this my Mustard Seed this little Sunny faed girl with the dimpled cheek and Rosy lips the satin smooth Hazel hair and the radiant hazel eyes I had green eyes reader but you must excuse the mistake for him they were new died I suppose it is Jane a sir soon to be Jane Rochester he added in four weeks Janet not a day more do you you hear that I did and I could not quite comprehend it it made me giddy the feeling the announcement sent through me was something stronger than was consistent with joy something that smoked and stunned it was I think almost fear you blushed and now you are white Jane what is that for because you gave me a new name Jane Rochester and it seems so strange yes Mrs Rochester said he young Mrs Rochester Fairfax Rochester's girl bride it can never be sir it does not sound likely human beings never enjoy complete happiness in this world I was not born for a different Destiny to the rest of my species to imagine such a lot befalling me as a fairy tale a Daydream which I can and will realize I shall begin today this morning I wrote to my banker in London to send me certain Jewels he has in his keeping heirlooms for the ladies of thornfield in a day or two I hope to pour them into your lap for every privilege every attention shall be yours that I would Accord a Pier's daughter if about to marry her oh sir never Rin Jewels I don't like to hear them spoken of jewels for Jane air sounds unnatural and strange I would rather not have them I will myself put the diamond chain around your neck NE and the circlet on your forehead which it will become for nature at least has stamped her patent of nobility on this brow Jane and I will clasp the bracelets on these fine wrists and load these fairy-like fingers with rings no no sir think of other subjects and speak of other things and in another strain don't address me as if I were a beauty I am your plain Quaker governess you are a beauty in my eyes and a beauty just after the desire of my heart delicate and aerial puny and insignificant you mean you are dreaming sir or you are sneering for God's sake don't be ironical I will make the world acknowledge you a beauty too he went on well I really became uneasy at the strain he had adopted because I felt he was either deluding himself or trying to delude me I will attire my Jane in satin and lace and she shall have roses in her hair and I will cover the hair that I love best with a priceless Veil and then you won't know me sir and I shall not be your Jane a any longer but an ape in harlequin's jacket a j and borrowed plumes I would as soon see you Mr Rochester tricked out in stage trappings as myself clad in a court lady's robe and I don't call you handsome sir though I love you most dearly far too dearly to flatter you don't flatter me he pursued his theme however without noticing my deprecation this very day I shall take you in the carriage to milet and you must chew some dresses for yourself I told you we should be married in 4 weeks the wedding is to take place quietly in the church down below Yonder and then I shall waft you away at once to town after a brief stay there I shall bear my treasure to Regions nearer the sun to French Vineyards and Italian Plains and she shall see whatever is famous in Old story in modern record she shall taste too of the life of cities and she shall learned to Value herself by just comparison with others shall I travel and with you sir you shall Soden at Paris Rome and Naples at Florence Venice and Vienna all the ground I have wandered over shall be ret trodden by you wherever I have stamped my hoof your sil's foot shall step also 10 years since I flew through Europe half mad with disgust hate and rage as my companions now I shall revisit it healed and cleansed with a very Angel as my comforter I laughed at him as he said this I am not an angel I asserted and I will not be one till I die I will be myself Mr Rochester you must neither expect nor exact anything celest deal of me for you will not get it any more than I shall get it of you which I do not at all anticipate what do you anticipate of me for a little while you will perhaps be as you are now a very little while and and then you will turn cool and then you will be capricious and then you will be Stern and I shall have much a do to please you but when you get well used to me you will perhaps like me again like me I say not love me I suppose Your Love Will effes in six months or less I have observed in books written by men that period assigned as the farthest to which a husband's ardor extends yet after all as a friend and companion I hope never to become quite distasteful to my dear master distasteful and like you again I think I shall like you again and yet again and I will make you confess I do not only like but love you with truth fervor constancy yet are you not capricious sir to women who please me only by their faces I am the very devil when I find out they have neither Souls nor Hearts when they open to me a perspective of flatness triviality and perhaps imbecility coarseness and Ill temper but to the Clear Eye and eloquent tongue to the soul made of fire and the character that bends but does not break at once Supple and stable tractable and consistent I am ever tender and true had you ever experience of such a character sir did you ever love such a one I love it now but before me if I indeed in any respect come up to your difficult standard I never met your likeness Jane you please me and you master me you seem to submit and I like the sense of pancy you impart and while I am Twining the soft silken ske round my finger it sends a thrill up my arm to my heart I am influenced conquered and the influence is sweeter than I can express and the conquest I undergo has a witchery Beyond any Triumph I can win why do you smile Jane what does that inexplicable that uncanny turn of countenance mean I was thinking sir you will excuse the idea it was involuntary I was thinking of Hercules and Samson with their Charmers you were you little elfish hush sir you don't talk very wisely just now any more than those gentlemen acted very wisely however had they been married they would no doubt by their severity as husbands have made up for their softness as sutors and so will you I fear I wonder how you will answer me a year hence should I ask a favor it does not suit your convenience or pleasure to Grant ask me something now Jane the least thing I desire to be entreated indeed I will sir I have my petition already speak but if you look up and smile with that countenance I shall swear concession before I know to what and that will make a fool of me not at all sir I only ask this don't send for the jewels and don't Crown me with roses you might as well put a border of gold lace around that plain pocket handkerchief you have there I might as well gild refined gold I know it your request is granted then for the time I will remand the order I dispatched to my banker but you have not yet asked for anything you have prayed a gift be withdrawn try again well then sir have the goodness to gratify my curiosity which is much peaked on one point he looked Disturbed what what he said hastily curiosity is a dangerous petition It is Well I have not taken a vow to Accord every request but there can be no danger in complying with this sir utter it Jane but I wish that instead of a mere inquiry into perhaps a secret it was a wish for half my estate now King aerus what do I want with half your estate do you think I am a Jew user sinking good in investment in land I would much rather have all your confidence you will not exclude me from your confidence if you will admit me to your heart you are welcome to all my confidence that is worth having Jane but for God's sake don't desire a useless burden don't long for poison don't turn out a downright Eve on my hands why not sir you have just been telling me how much you like to be conquered and how pleasant over persuasion is to you don't you think I had better take advantage of the confession and begin and coax and intreat even cry and be sulky if necessary for the sake of a mere essay of my power I dare you to any such experiment encroach presume and the game is up is it sir you soon give in how Stern you look now your eyebrows have become as thick as my finger and your forehead resembles what in some very astonishing poetry I once saw styled a blue piled Thunder Loft that will be your married look I suppose if that will be your married look I as a Christian will soon give up the notion of Consulting with a mere Sprite or salamander but what had you to ask thing out with it there you are less than civil now and I like rudess a great deal better than flattery I had rather be a thing than an angel this is what I have to ask why did you take such pains to make me believe you wish to marry Miss Ingram is that all thank God it is no worse and now he unknit his black brows looked down smiling at me and stroked my hair as if well pleased at seeing a danger averted I think I may confess he continued even although I should make you a little indignant Jane and I have seen what a fire Spirit you can be when you are indignant you glowed in the cool Moonlight last night when you mutinied against fate and claimed your rank as my equal Janet by the by it was you who made me the offer of course I did but to the point of you please sir Miss Ingram well I feigned courtship of Miss Ingram because I wish to render you as madly in love with me as I was with you and I knew jealousy would be the best Ally I could call in for the furtherance of that end excellent now you are small not one wit bigger than the end of my little finger it was a burning shame and a scandalous disgrace to act in that way did you think nothing of Miss Ingram feelings sir her feelings are concentrated in one pride and that needs humbling were you jealous Jane never mind Mr Rochester it is in no way interesting to you to know that answer me truly once more do you think Miss Ingram will not suffer from your dishonest catry won't she feel Forsaken and deserted impossible when I told you how she on the contrary deserted me the idea of my insolvency cooled or rather extinguished her flame in a moment you have a curious designing mind Mr Rochester I'm afraid your principles on some points are eccentric my principles were never trained Jane they may have grown a little arai for want of attention once again seriously may I enjoy the great good that has been vouched safe to me without fearing that anyone else is suffering the bitter pain I myself felt a while ago that you may my good little girl there is not other being in the world has the same pure love for me as yourself for I lay that Pleasant unction to my soul Jane a belief in your affection I turned my lips to the hand that lay on my shoulder I loved him very much more than I could trust myself to say More Than Words had power to express ask something more he said presently it is my delight to be intreated and to yield I was again ready with my request communicate your intentions to Mrs Fairfax sir she saw me with you last night in the hall and she was shocked give her some explanation before I see her again it pains me to be misjudged by so good a woman go to your room and put on your Bonnet he replied I mean you to accompany me to milkit this morning and while you prepare for the drive I will Enlighten the old lady's understanding did she think Janet you had given the world for love and considered it well lost I believe she thought I had forgotten my station and yours sir station station your station is in my heart and on the necks of those who would insult you now or Hereafter go I was soon dressed and when I heard Mr Rochester quit Mrs fairfax's parlor I hurried down to it the old lady had been reading her morning portion of scripture the lesson for the day her Bible lay open before her and her spectacles were upon it her occupation suspended by Mr Rochester's announcement seemed now forgotten her eyes fixed on the blank wall opposite expressed the surprise of a quiet mind stirred by unwanted Tidings seeing me she roused herself she made a sort of effort to smile and framed a few words of congratulation but the smile expired and the sentence was abandoned unfinished she put up her spectacles shut the Bible and pushed her chair back from the table I feel so astonished she began I hardly know what to say to you Miss A I have surely not been dreaming have I sometimes I have fall asleep when I am sitting alone and fancy things that have never happened it has seemed to me more than once when I've been in a do that my dear husband who died 15 years since has come in and sat down beside me and that I have even heard him call me by my name Alice as he used to do now can you tell me whether is actually true that Mr Rochester has asked you to marry him don't laugh at me but I really thought he came in here 5 minutes ago and said that in a month you would be his wife he has said the same thing to me I replied he has do you believe him have you accepted him yes she looked at me bewildered I could never have thought it he is a proud man all the Rochesters were proud and his father at least liked money he too has always been called careful he means to marry you he tells me so she surveyed my whole person in her eyes I read that they had there found no charm powerful enough to solve the Enigma it passes me she continued but no doubt it is true since you say so how it will answer I cannot tell I really don't know equality of position and Fortune is often advisable in such cases and there are 20 years of difference in your ages he might almost be your father no indeed Mrs Fairfax exclaimed I nettled he is nothing like my father no one who saw us together would suppose it for an instant Mr Rochester looks as young and is as young as some men at 5 and 20 is it really for love he's going to marry you she asked I was so hurt by her coldness and skepticism that the tears Rose to my eyes I am sorry to grieve you pursued the Widow but you are so young and so little acquainted with men I wish to put you on your guard it is an old saying that all Is Not Gold That Glitters and in this case I do fear there'll be something found to be different to what either you or I expect why am I a monster I said is it impossible that Mr Rochester should have a sincere affection for me no you are very well and much improved of late and Mr Rochester I dare say is fond of you I've always noticed that you were a sort of pet of his there are times when for your sake I been a little uneasy at his mark preference and have wished to put you on your guard but I did not like to suggest even the possibility of wrong I knew such an idea would shock perhaps offend you and you were so discreet and so thoroughly modest and sensible I hoped you might be trusted to protect yourself last night I cannot tell you what I suffered when I sought all over the house and can find you nowhere nor the master either and then at 12:00 saw you come in with him well never mind that now I interrupted impatiently it is enough that all was right I hope all be right in the end she said but believe me you cannot be too careful try and keep Mr Rochester at a distance distrust yourself as well as him gentlemen in his station are not accustomed to marry their governesses I was growing truly irritated happily Adele ran in let me go let me go to mil to she cried Mr Rochester won't so there is so much room in the new Carriage beg him to let me go mm moiselle that I will Adele and I hastened away with her glad to quit my gloomy monitress The Carriage was ready they were bringing it round to the front and my master was pacing the pavement pilot following him backwards and forwards Adele May accompany us may she not sir I told her no I'll have no Bratz I'll have only you oh do let her go Mr Rochester if you please it would be better not it she will be a restraint he was quite peremptory both in look and voice the chill of Mrs fairfax's warnings and The Damp of her doubts were upon me something of unsubstantial and uncertainty had beset my hopes I half lost the sense of power over him I was about mechanically to obey him without further remonstrance but as he helped me into the carriage he looked at my face what is the matter he said all the sunshine is gone do you really wish the ban to go will it anore you if she's left behind I would far rather she went sir then off for your Bonnet and back like a flash of lightning cried he to Adele she obeyed him with what speed she might after all the single morning's Interruption will not matter much said he when I mean shortly to claim you your thoughts conversation and Company for Life Adele when lifted in commenced kissing me by way of expressing her gratitude for my intercession she was instantly stowed away into a corner on the other side of him she then peeped round to where I sat so St a neighbor was too restrictive to him in his present fractious mood she dared whisper no observations nor ask of him any information let her come to me I entreated she will perhaps trouble you sir there is plenty of room on this side he handed her over as if she hadd been a lap dog I'll send her to school yet he said but now he was smiling Adele heard him and asked if she was to go to school son mm moiselle yes he replied absolutely saw man moiselle for I am to take m moiselle to the moon and there I shall seek a cave in one of the white valleys among the volcano tops and M moiselle shall live with me there and only me she will have nothing to eat you will starve her observed Adele I Shall Gather Mana for her morning and night the Plains and hillsides and the moon are bleached with Mana Adele she will want to warm herself what will she do for a fire fire Rises out of the lunar mountains when she is is cold I'll carry her up to a peak and lay her down on the edge of crater oh K and her clothes they will wear out how can she get new ones Mr Rochester professed to be puzzled H said he what would you do Adele cudle your brains for an expedient how would a white or pink cloud answer for a gown do you think and one could cut a pretty enough scarf out of a rainbow she is far better as she is concluded Adele after musing some time besides she would get tired of living with you only in the moon if I were manoel I would never consent to go with you she has consented she has pledged her word but you can't get her there there is no road to the Moon it is all air and neither you nor she can fly Adele look at that field we were now outside thornfield Gates and bowling lightly along the smooth road to milkit where the dust was well laid by the thunderstorm and where the low Hedges and lofty Timber trees on each side glistened green and Rain refreshed in that field Adele I was walking late one evening about a fortnight since the evening of the day you helped me to make hay in the orchard Meadows and as I was tired with raking swaths I sat down to rest me on a style and there I took out a little book and pencil and began to write about a misfortune that befell me long ago and a wish I had for happy days to come I was riding away very fast though daylight was fading from the leaf when something came up The Path and stopped two yards off me I looked at it it was a little thing with a veil of gossamer on its head I beckoned it to come near me it soon stood at my knee I never spoke to it and it never spoke to me in words but I read its eyes and it read mine and our speechless colloquy was to this effect it was a fairy and come from elfland it said and its errand was to make me happy I must must go with it out of the common world to a lonely Place such as the moon for instance and it nodded its head towards her horn rising over hay Hill it told me of the alabaster cave and silver ve while we might live I said I should like to go but reminded it as you did me that I had no wings to fly oh returned the fairy that does not signify here is a Talisman that will remove all difficulties and she held out a pretty gold ring put it she said on the fourth finger of my left hand and I am yours and you are mine and we shall leave Earth and make our own Heaven Yonder she nodded again at the moon the ring Adele is in my breach's pocket under the disguise of a sovereign but I mean soon to change it to a ring again but what has M moiselle to do with it I don't care for the fairy you said it was mm moiselle you would take the moon mm moiselle is a fairy he said Whispering mysteriously whereupon I told her not to mind his adage and she on her part evinced a fund of genuine French skepticism denominating Mr Rochester and assuring him that she made no account whatever of his and that rest aana she was sure they would never appear to him nor ever give him Rings or offer to live with him in the moon the hour spent at milit was a somewhat harassing one to me Mr Rochester obliged me to go to a certain silk Warehouse there I was ordered to choose half a dozen dresses I hated the business I begged leave to defer it no it should be gone through with Now by Dent of in treaties expressed in energetic Whispers I reduced the half dozen to two these however he vowed he would select himself with anxiety I watched his eye Rove over the gay stores he fixed on Rich silk of the most brilliant amethyst dye and a superb pink satin I told him in a new series of Whispers that he might as well buy me a gold gown and a silver Bonnet at once I should certainly never venture to wear his choice with infinite difficulty for he was stubborn as a stone I persuaded him to make an exchange in favor of a sober black satin and a pearl gry silk it might pass for the present he said but he would yet see me glittering like a part glad was I to get him out of the silk warehouse and then out of a Jeweler's shop the more he bought me the more my cheek burned with a sense of annoyance and degradation as we re-entered the carriage and I sat back feverish and I remembered what in the hurry of events dark and bright I had wholly forgotten the letter of my uncle John a to Mrs Reed his intention to adopt me and make me his legy it would be a relief indeed I thought if I had ever so small an independency I can never bear being dressed like a doll by Mr Rochester or sitting like a second Dan with the golden shower folding daily round me I will write to madira the moment I get get home and tell my uncle John I am going to be married and to whom if I had but a prospect of one day bringing Mr Rochester an ession of Fortune I could better endure to be kept by him now and somewhat relieved by this idea which I failed not to execute that day I ventured once more to meet my masters and lovers eye which most pertinaciously sought mine though I averted both face and gaze he smiled and I thought his smile was such as a sultan might in a blissful and fond moment Stow on a slave his golden gems had enriched I crushed his hand which was ever hunting mine vigorously and thrust it back to him red with the passionate pressure you need not look in that way I said if you do I'll wear nothing but my old lowwood frocks to the end of the chapter I'll be married in this lilac kingham you may make a dressing gown for yourself out of the Pearl gry silk and an infinite series of waste cats out of the black satin he chuckled he rubbed his hands oh it is rich to see and hear her he exclaimed is she original is she peakant I would not exchange this one little English girl for the grand Turks whole salio gazelle eyes URI forms and all the Eastern illusion bit me again I'll not stand you an inch in the stad of a Calio I said so don't consider me an equivalent for one if you have a fancy for anything in that line away with you sir to the bazars of stambul without delay and lay out an extensive slave purchasing is some of that spare cash you seem at a loss to spend satisfactorily here and what will you do Janet while I am bargaining for so many tons of Flesh and such an assortment of black eyes I'll be preparing myself to go out as a missionary to preach Liberty to them that are enslaved your harm inmates among the rest I'll get admitted there and I'll stir up Mutiny and you three-tailed bashor as you are sir shall in a Trice find yourself feted amongst our hands nor will I for one consent to cut your bonds till you've signed Charter the most liberal the desperate ever yet conferred I would consent to be at your mercy Jane I would have no mercy Mr Rochester if you supplicated for it with an eye like that while you looked so I should be certain that whatever Charter you might Grant under coercion your first act when released would be to violate its conditions why Jane what would you have I fear you will compel me to go through a private marriage ceremony besides that performed at the altar you will stipulate I receive peculiar terms what will they be I only want an easy mind sir not crushed by crowded obligations do you remember what you said of Seline baren of the Diamonds the cashmir you gave her I will not be your English Seline baren I shall continue to act as Adele's Governor by that I shall earn my board and lodging and3 a year besides I'll furnish my own wardrobe out of that money and you shall give me nothing but well but what your regard and if I give you mine in return that debt will be quit well for cool native impudence and pure inate Pride you haven't your equal said he we were now approaching thornfield will it please you to dine with me today he asked as we entered the gates no thank you sir and what for no thank you if one may inquire I never have dined with you sir and I see no reason why I should now till till what you Delight in half phrases till I can't help it do you suppose I eat like an ogre or a ghoul that you dread of being the companion of my repast I have formed no supposition on the subject sir but I want to go on as usual for another month you will give up your governor in slavery at once indeed begging your pardon sir I shall not I shall just go on with it as usual I shall keep out of your way all day as I have been accustomed to do you may send for me in the evening when you feel disposed to see me and I'll come then but at no other time I want a smoke Jane or a pinch of snuff to comfort me under all this poor madon and conol says Adel would say and unfortunately I have neither my Cigar Case nor my snuffbox but listen whisper it is your time now little Tyrant but it will be mine presently and one once I have fairly seized you to have and to hold I'll just figuratively speaking attach you to a chain like this touching his watch guard yes we Bonny thing I'll wear you in my bosom lest My Jewel I should T he said this as he helped me to a light from the carriage and while he afterwards lifted out a Dell I entered the house and made good my retreat upstairs he duly summoned me to his presence in the evening I had prepared an occupation for him for I was determined not to spend the whole time in tetet conversation I remembered his fine voice I knew he liked to sing good singers generally do I was no vocalist myself and in fastidious judgment no musician either but I delighted in listening when the performance was good no sooner had Twilight that hour of romance began to lower her blue and Starry Banner Over the lattice then I Rose opened the piano and intreated him for the love of Heaven to give me a song he said I was a capricious witch and that he would rather sing another time but I avered that no time was like the present did I like his voice he asked very much I was not fond of Pam in that susceptible vanity of his but for once and from motives of expediency I would Ian soothe and stimulate it then Jane you must play the accompaniment very well sir I will try I did try but was presently swept off the stool and denominated a little bungler being pushed unceremoniously to one side which was precisely what I wished he usurped my place and proceeded to accompany himself for he could play as well as sing I hide me to the window recess and while I sat there and looked out at the still trees and dim lawn to a sweet air was sung in mellow tones the following strain the truest love that ever heart felt at its kindled core did through each vein and quickened start the tide of being poor her coming was my hope each day her parting was my pain the chance that did her steps delay was ice in every vein I dreamed it would be nameless Bliss as I loved loved to be and to this object did I press as blind as eagerly but wide as pathless was the space that lay our lives between and dangerous as the foamy race of ocean surges green and haunted as a robber path through Wilderness or wood for might and right and woe and wrath between our Spirits stood I dangers dared I hindrance scorned I Omens did defy whatever menaced harassed warned I passed impetuous by on sped my rainbow fast as light I flew as in a dream for glorious Rose upon my sight that child of shower and gleam still bright on clouds of suffering dim shines that soft solemn Joy nor care I now how dense and Grim disasters gather nigh I cannot in this moment sweet though all I have rushed or should come on pinion strong and Fleet proclaiming Vengeance sore though hay hate should strike me down r might bar approach to me and grinding might with furious frown swear endless enmity my love has placed a little hand with Noble faith in mine and vowed that wedlock's sacred band our nature shall entwine my love has sworn with sealing kiss with me to live to die I have at last my nameless Bliss as I loved loved am I he rose and came towards me and I saw his face all kindled and his full f eye flashing and tenderness and passion in every lineament I quailed momentarily and then I rallied soft scene daring demonstration I would not have and I stood in Peril of both a weapon of Defense must be prepared I wetted my tongue as he reached me I asked with asperity whom he was going to marry now that was a strange question to be put by his darling Jane indeed I considered it a very natural and necessary one he had talked of his future wife dying with him what did he mean by such a pagan idea I had no intention of dying with him he might depend on that oh all he longed all he prayed for was I might live with him death was not for such as I indeed it was I had as good a right to die when my time came as he had but I should buy that time and not be hurried away in a suti would I forgive him for the selfish idea and prove my pardon by a reconciling kiss no I would rather be excused here I heard myself apostrophized as a hard little thing and it was added any other woman would have been melt to marrow at hearing such standers cred in her praise I assured him I was naturally hard very flinty and that he would often find me so and that moreover I was determined to show him diverse rugged points in my character before the ensuing four weeks collapsed he should know fully what sort of a bargain he had made while there was yet time to ascend it would I be quiet and talk rationally I would be quiet if he liked and as to talking rationally I flattered myself I was doing that now he Fred pissed and ped very good thought I you may fume and fidget as you please but this is the best plan to pursue with you I am sure I like you more than I can say but I'll not sink into a BOS of sentiment and with this needle of reparte I'll keep you from the edge of the gulf too and moreover maintain by its pungent Aid that distance between you and myself most conducive to our real Mutual Advantage from less to more I worked him up to considerable irritation then after he had retired in dudgeon quite to the other end of the room I got up and saying I wish you good night Sir in my natural and wed respectful manner I slipped out by the side door and got away the system thus entered on I pursued during the whole season of Probation and with the best success he was kept to be sure rather cross and crusty but on the whole I could see he was excellently entertained and that a lamb-like submission and turtle do sensibility while fostering his despotism more would have pleased his judgment satisfied his common sense and even suited his taste Less in other people's presence I was as formally differential and quiet any other line of conduct being uncalled for it was only in the evening conferences I thus thwarted and Afflicted him he continued to send for me punctually the moment the Clock Struck seven though when I appeared before him now now he had no such honey terms as love and darling on his lips the best words at my service were provoking puppet malicious elf Sprite changeling etc for caresses too I now got grimaces for a pressure of the hand a pinch on the arm for a kiss on the cheek a severe tweak of the air it was all right at present I decidedly preferred these Fierce favors to anything more tender Mrs Fairfax I saw approved me her anxiety on my account vanished therefore I was certain I did well meantime Mr Rochester affirmed I was wearing him to skin and bone and threatened awful Vengeance for my present conduct at some period fast coming I laughed in my sleeve at his menaces I can keep you in reasonable check now I reflected and I don't doubt to be able to do it Hereafter if one expedient loses its virtue another must be devised yet after all my task was not an easy one often I would rather have pleased than teased him my future husband was becoming to me my whole world and more than the world almost My Hope Of Heaven he stood between me and every thought of religion as an eclipse intervenes between man and the broad Sun I could not in those days see God for his creature of whom I had made an idol end of chapter 24 for