you ever wonder what happens when you mix hot lava and chicken i did and you're about to find out [Music] uh-oh look I don't know what I was expecting but I don't know this was straight up trash i mean I kind of knew I was going to hate this movie even from the first trailer and sure I wasn't alone in that fact but I really didn't think I was going to hate it this much like honestly this might be one of the worst movies I've ever seen in cinemas i even tried to get in from a postironic kind of angle too like so bad that it's good enjoying it for the memes and heck even Jack Black who I usually love in everything but despite some parts of the internet being able to get past the cringe of the trailers and turning that into fun internet foder I couldn't do it i found this so painful and while my crowd cheered hooted and hollered for the chicken jockey I was squirming from the cringe man like this might be the first time where I watched a movie and I got angry with the audience around me i mean I wanted to end them all in Minecraft of course when laying out my list of criticisms for the movie I kind of noticed that most people will just think I kind of had my mind set on the fact I was going to hate this from that infamous first trailer because because yeah like a lot of these issues were present there i mean the casting director is a complete and utter maniac the performances are poorly acted painfully unfunny and have no real depth whatsoever the visuals and aesthetics as a whole are just sickeningly artificial i mean the real actors in the CGI Minecraft world just kind of killed this movie there's no coherence and just feels like a massive green screen sound stage most of what hurts this movie though is the painfully by the numbers cradled snoozefest of a narrative that is never really sure as to what it wants to be i mean the extensive exposition at the start of the movie is almost painful and then we've got to go and meet all the characters and not a single one of these people are likable so by the time we even get things going in the overworld properly I was just kind of begging for the Ender Dragon to fly in and swallow all these clowns that point of the movie not being sure what it wants to be is pretty key here because in the Minecraft game you kind of set your own play style right and that's the beauty of the game it can be whatever you want it to be you can play from a creative play style an explorer play style a survivalist play style a combat play style etc etc but the movie never really fully commits to what version of Steve's overworld this is or what it's trying to say about Minecraft as an IP and if you have nothing to say about an IP then why adapt it oh yeah it's uh it's because it's going to make all the money yeah that's why i mean I guess the movie is trying to explore Minecraft as a creative world right as it does try to push the idea that Steve and Henry are creatives and Steve does somewhat mentor him in that role and says that the Minecraft world suits his creative personality but for a film that constantly insists it's a world of boundless creative potential and pure imagination it's almost impressive how painfully uninspired it is i mean come on do they do anything creative with the Minecraft IP in this movie does the narrative have the characters do anything creative and does the movie have anything to say about creativity at all the answers to all of those things is no and I think that's actually one of the main things that annoyed me about this movie the most because if you really stare at this movie turn your head sideways you can almost see the building blocks of a story with something to say about creativity and how Minecraft as an IP has really appealed to young creatives for over a decade now and hey maybe a family movie that lent into the importance of art and creativity as its central themes could be pretty relevant and topical especially in this day and age and anyone who comments saying "Oh what did you expect from a Minecraft movie you're a idiot and you deserve to eat the slot that Hollywood is feeding you." I just wanted the movie to say something but no you would really need a good 20 or so more rewrites to bring any proper semblance of a creativity storyline to the forefront and look it didn't have to go full in on the creativity message either i can see why Warner Brothers would kind of think you know didn't we kind of already do that with the Lego movie so fine go all in on the explorer adventurer side of Minecraft and do a Lord of the Ringsesque family plot i mean they even reference Henry having Frodo energy but it feels like they didn't want to commit to this either because there is one or two distinct environments but nothing that I was eager to explore with the characters more now for example and I want an honest answer from you here did seeing a diamond mine for the first time on the big screen invoke any real feelings from you when watching this movie other than "Oh I remember." I think the word cash grabb can be thrown around too frivously when it comes to movies because I mean yeah movies are trying to make money right but when I got back from watching this movie I saw a couple of quotes online and well yeah the director of franchise development spoke to games and he said the world of Minecraft is endless i mean there's so many biomes so many crazy amazing characters and creatures we haven't even touched on you can't fit everything in one movie so you've got to kind of parse it out thinking ahead but if this one does well man we're excited to jump back in and later in the article he says "In all seriousness not only do we have other dimensions other mobs but also other ways of playing Minecraft because Minecraft is played in so many ways by so many people so the opportunities are really really endless." And it's like well yeah maybe do some more of that in the first Minecraft movie before thinking about the next one there are so many different ways of playing Minecraft but we're not really going to show any of that and there are so many biomes but we're not really going to show you too many and make it feel like a proper grand adventure oh but if you pay to see this piss poor adaptation we'll do much better the next time around this is embarrassing stuff i didn't really know if I wanted to add this part because I love Jack Black and I mean if you hire Jack Black or go to see a Jack Black movie you kind of know what you're going to get right but I don't know what it was i couldn't stand him here he was obnoxious it was like he was winking at the camera while doing this overperformative shtick the best way to describe it was it was Star-Lord's danceoff battle but for the entire movie like I say I've never had this problem with Jack Black before and I think it was just all of this coming together in this blocky package of that did it for me but I guess Jack Black's performance will be saved or at least preserved by the memeability of the whole thing and sure there's something almost impressive about how self-aware he seems to be about this like he knows it's bad and we now like it because he knows it's bad is that how it works either way both Black and the movie seem to be more interested in mentioning Minecraft things chickens flint and steel and crafting tables than actually exploring them in any meaningful way it's like they just want us to point clap and say "Hey I remember that." Like well- behaved chips i brought someone unfamiliar with the game to the screening and their emotional investment in any of this was basically zero because the movie doesn't try to show why these things matter it just expects the audience to already care ultimately anything I say about this movie probably won't matter because like so many other adaptations studios have found a formula that works they churn out a mid to bad video game movie paper over its flaws with a handful of surface level references and then hide behind the phrase "It's for the fans." And somehow it works fans desperate to see their favorite worlds on the big screen they defend it in spite of its flaws and the studio makes off like bandits i've defended plenty of video game movies before FNAF Mario but with Minecraft it just feels like the most blatant version of this yet and I kind of find myself wondering was I part of the problem with those previous movies the movie only seems destined to be saved by the memeability and irony of the whole thing not because it's good but because people like it because it's bad and hey if that's your thing fair play but I kind of feel that just sucks like if that's all studios have to do when adapting an IP now but hey to end this if you are in that camp that just enjoy the whole memeability of the whole thing I'd pose this question to you if you had the keys to the kingdom is this really the version of a Minecraft movie you'd make finished no I think he's Swedish that was pretty funny thank you Jennifer Gulage please enjoy help enjoy [Music]