[Music] did you hear what I was playing Lane polite - listen sir I'm sorry for that for your sake let me play accurately anyone can play accurately but are there with a wonderful expression as far as the piano is concerned sentiment is my forte I keep science for life yes sir he's speaking of the science of life have you got the cucumber sandwiches cut for Lady Bracknell yes sir oh by the way Lane I see from your book that on Thursday night when Lord Sherman and mr. Worthing were dining with me eight bottles of champagne are entered as having been consumed yes sir eight bottles and a pint why is it that a bachelor's establishment the service invariably drink the champagne I ask merely for information I tribute to the superior quality of the wine sir I've often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand good heavens is marriage so demoralizing as that I believe it is a very pleasant state sir that very little experience of it myself up to the present I've only been married Watson that was the consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person know that I'm much interested in your family life leg no sir it is not a very interesting subject I never think of it myself very much I'm sure thank you sir lady's views our marriage seems somewhat lacks really if the lower orders don't sit as a good example what on earth is the use of them they seem as a class to have absolutely no sense of more responsibility mr. Ernest Worthing how are you my dear - what brings you up to town flash up flash on what else you bring one anywhere CLG I believe it is customary in good society to take some slight refreshment at five o'clock being since Thursday are in the country what do you do there when one is in town one amuses one set well what is in the country one amuses other people this is excessively boring who are these people your muse neighbors got nice neighbors in your part of Shropshire perfectly never speak to one of them immensely you must amuse them by the way structure is your County is it not hello why all these cops why cucumber sandwiches boy such reckless extravagance in one so young who is coming to tea Oh merely aunt Augusta and Gwendolen Apogee delightful yes that is all very well but I'm afraid aunt Augusta won't quite approve of your being here may I ask why my dear fellow that we've worked with Wendelin is perfectly disgraceful it's almost as weak Wendell imprints with you I'm in love with Brenda Lee I've come up to town expressly to propose to her I thought you'd come for pleasure I call that business utterly unromantic you are I can't really see anything romantic and proposing it's very romantic to be in love but there's nothing romantic about a definite proposal why wouldn't I be accepted one usually is that the excitement is all over the very essence of romance is uncertainty if ever I get married I'll certainly try to forget the fact Algie the divorce court was especially invented for people whose memories are so curiously constituted there's no use speculating on that subject divorces are made in heaven please do not touch the cucumber sandwiches their orders especially for Orleans Augusta she's my arms absolute bread and butter the bread and butters for Gwendolyn Gwendolyn is devoted to Brandon batos if we're going to eat us all you behaves if you're married to our resident you're not married to our ready and I don't think you ever will be you see that well in the first place girls never married the men they flirt with girls don't think it's right that is nonsense it is it it is a great truth it accounts for the extraordinary number of bachelors once these all over the place in the second place I don't give my consent your consent My dear fellow Wendling is my first cousin and before I allow you to marry her you'll have to clear up the whole question of Cecily what do you mean I don't know anyone on the name of Cecily bring me that cigarette case mr. Worthing left in the smoking room the last time you got here yes do you mean to say you've had my cigarette case all this time like we're still good but she had let me know I've been writing frantic letters just got me not opted offering large rewards well I wish you were after one I have to be more than usually harder there's no good in offering a large reward now that the thing is found let us rather mean if you earnest I must say however it makes no matter for now that I look at the inscription inside I find that the thing is it's yours after all of course it's mine you have seen it it's 100 times and you have no right whatsoever to greet what's written inside it is a very ungentlemanly thing to read a private secret key have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and which one should it more than half of modern culture that's all it was should it read I am quite aware of the factor and I don't propose to discuss modern culture it isn't the sort of thing once you talk of in private I think they want my secret case back - yes but this is a great case of the present from someone of the name of Cecily and if you said you don't know anyone by that name well if you want to know Cecily it happens to be my twelve just back - yes but it's a sesame with her long that so some ones are called some ones are not called that is solely a matter that every arm should be allowed to decipher you seem to think that everyone should be exactly that your art that is absurd for heaven's sake give me back my secret case yes she called you her dear uncle Nestle with her fondest love to hear Uncle Jack there's no objection I admit to an arm's being a small arms but why mom's no matter what - sighs maybe should call her own nephew her uncle besides your name isn't Jack at all it is Ernest it isn't honest it's jack you have always told me your name was Ernest I have introduced you to everyone as Ernest you access to the name of Ernest he was perfectly absurd you're trying to say your name is Ernest it's on your car here is one of them mr. Ernest Worthing before the Albany I shall keep this as proof that your name is Ernest in case you ever try to deny it to myself to Gwendolen or to anyone else my name is Ernest in town and Jack in the country the sacred case was given to me in the country yes but that does not account for the package are small Oh uncle come on boy you much better have that thing out it what my dear al do you talk exactly as if you are a dentist it is no good to talk like a dent is what what is it a dentist this reduces a salty fretting but that's exactly what dentists always do now go on tell me the whole thing I mention that I've always suspected you of being a secret and confirmed hungriest and I'm quite sure now what do you mean by a bockwurst I'll reveal to you the meaning of that ain't comperable expression as soon as you're kind enough to inform me why you are Ernest in town and Jack in the country produce my secret case bust here it is now produce your explanation and pray makes it probable there is nothing improbable about my explanation at all in fact it's perfectly ordinary old mr. Thomas Cardew who adopted me when I was a boy made me in his will Guardian to his granddaughter miss Cecily Cardew Cecily who lives in my place in the country addresses me uncle for motives of respect that you could not possibly she lives in my place in the country under the charge of her admirable governess miss prism where is that place in country by the way that's my dear boy is nothing to you you are not going to be invited by make ugly candidly the police is not instructure I suspected that my dear fellow I've been buried out of a structure or two set of occasions now go on why you Ernest in town and Jack in the country I don't know whether you will be able to fully appreciate my real motives you are hardly serious enough but what what is place what one is placed in the position of Guardian one has to adopt a very high moral tone on all subjects it is one stupid this was duty to do so and as a high moral tongue can hardly be said to confuse much either to one's health all what happens in order to get up to town I have always pretended to have a younger brother by the name of Ernest who lives in the album Albany and who always gets into the most dreadful scrapes that's my dear Algie it's the whole truth the pure and simple the truth is rarely pure and never simple life will be very tedious if either a lot of literature completes a possibility that wouldn't be at all a bad thing okay criticism is not my forte my dear fellow don't try it you should think that to someone who hasn't been at a university it's so well in the daily papers which you really are as of bunburyist I was quite right in saying your bum greenness you're one of the most advanced bungarus I know do you meet you haven't been to they're very useful younger brother called Ernest in order that you may come up to the town whenever you like I have invented an invaluable in with it called Bunbury in order that I may go to the country whenever I choose a barber is perfectly invaluable if it wasn't for Bunbury is extraordinary about health purring since I wouldn't be able to dine with you at Willis's tonight before I really been engaged to aunt Augusta for more than a week I haven't asked you to dine with me anywhere tonight I know it will absolutely care this about sending out the invitations nothing annoys people so much it's not receiving invitations you had much better dining with your aunt Augusta smallest intention of doing anything of the kind to begin with I dine there on Monday and once a week is quiet enough to dine with one's own relations the second place whatever I do die in there I'm always treated as a member of the family sit down without her knowing that's all or two in the third place I know perfectly well who she replaced me next to tonight she replaced me next to Mary Farquhar who always insists on clearing with their own husband across the dinner table that's just not very pleasant it's not even decent sort of thing is enormously on the increase the amount of women in London to flirt with their own husbands is perfectly scandalous so bad it is simply washing one's clean linen in public besides now that I know you to be confirmed bungarus I naturally want to talk to you about Bunbury I want to tell you the rules I am nothing fun grease it's all if Gwendolen accepts me I am going to kill my brother indeed I think I'll kill them in any case sessile it's a little too much interested in image robber bore so I am going to get rid of that I strongly advise you to do the same with your miss stop even though the trend who has the upside names nothing will induce me Dept bunbury if you ever get married which I find extremely problematic you'll do quite well to note but marry a man who marries about knowing Bunbury as a very tedious time of it oh that is nonsense I marry a charming girl like renderman and she's the only girl in life that I would marry I certainly won't want just no binary than your wife will you don't seem to realize that in married life three is company and two is not not my dear young friend is the theory that the corrupt French drama has been propounded for the last 50 years yes and a happy home is proved in half the time I haven't sick don't try to be cynical it's perfectly easy to be cynical My dear fellow is this an easy to be anything nowadays it is so much beastly competition about that must be aunt Augusta only relatives or creditors ever bringing that [ __ ] area matter if I get out of the way for 10 minutes so that you might have the opportunity for proposing to gwen's me may I dine with you tonight I suppose so if you want to yes but you must be serious lady broch oh I hope you're behaving very well I'm feeling very well aunt Augusta let's talk like the same thing things rarely go together dear me you are always not all time mr. wedding you are quite perfect miss Fairfax not bad that will leave no room for developments and I certainly intend to develop in many directions call upon dear lady Harbury I hadn't be there since her husband's death I've never seen a woman so altered she looks quite 20 years young sir Tinley arms Augusta Wendling won't you come and sit yeah quite comfortable good heavens name why don't you come beside me there were no cucumbers at the market this morning sir I'm without twice no queue Congress no sir not even for ready money what will do Lane thank you thank you sir distress bonds of Gaza about there being I hear her has turned quite gold from grief but for what cause I of course cannot say thank you I've quite a treat for you tonight Algernon I'm going to send you down with Mary Farquhar nice woman ensue attentive to a husband I'm afraid bonds Augusto I'll have to give up the pleasure of dining with you tonight after all I have not put my table completely out your uncle would have to dine upstairs fortunately he's accustomed to there it is a great bore and I need hardly say a terrible disappointment to me but the fact is I've just received a telegram to inform me that my poor friend Bunbury is quite ill I should be great this mr. Bunbury seems to stop him curiously bad yes poor Bunbury is a dreadful invalid tied mr. Bumble he decided whether he was going to live or die she shouted with the question whose absurd nor do I in any way approve with the Babu's sympathy with invalids I find it more than any kind is not a thing to be encouraged I keep chatting at your home uncle but he never takes any notice at least as far as any improvements I would be much obliged if you would ask mr. burn money from me to be so kind as to not have a relapse on Saturday might depend upon you to arrange my music for me it's my last reception and one wants something that will encourage conversation particularly if the end of the season when everyone has practically said everything they had to say which in most cases was probably not much I'll speak with Bunbury aunt Augusta if he's still conscious and I think I can promise you that he'll be quite all right by Saturday of course the music is a great difficulty you see if one plays good music people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk but I'll go over the program I've drawn out if you'll come into the next room with me for a moment I'm sure the program will be delightful after a few expirations French songs I cannot possibly allow people sick to think they're improper and either look shocked which is vulgar laugh which is worse German sounds of Tommy Davis been Miss Fairfax talked to me about the weather mr. wehling whenever people talk to me about the weather I almost feel something else and that makes me so nervous [Laughter] ever since I first met I have admired you more than any girl I ever had you always have my darling just be quite candidly I don't I don't think the name suits [Music] it produces vibrations other she would probably never be allowed to be trancing measurement of a single solitude I must get christened at once I think we must get married at once there's no time to be lost well surely you know that I love you when you have led me to believe miss Fairfax that you're not absolutely indifferent about me I do owe you but you had those to me it has been said all about marriage the subject has not even been touched on [Music] [Music] [Music] other people but you're not engaged to anyone when you do become engaged to someone i all your father should just have permitting will advise you of the things which should cover party young that is a surprise pleasant or unpleasant is the case she could be allowed to arrange for herself now mr. Worthing I have some questions to put to you while I'm making these please wonder than you will wait for me below in the question I feel bound to tell you that you are not on my list of eligible young men although I share the same list as the dear Duchess of Bolton we work together in fair however I am willing to enter your name should your answers be what a really affectionate mother requires do you smoke well yes I must admit I smoke I'm glad to give it the man should always have an Occupational I always been of the opinion that a man who wishes to get married should either know everything nothing waits - I know nothing lady broch interferes with natural ignorance a rare exotic fruit touch it and the bloom is gone the entire modern theory of education is radically on the south fortunately in England at any rate education produces no effect whatsoever did it would result in a danger to the upper classes and probably we have dire consequences in growth in us what's your income between seven and eight thousand a year another on investment in investments cheaply ah that is satisfactory what between the duties required wondering one's life and the duties executive from one after ones death Landis seems to be either a profit or a pleasure it gives one position prevents one from keeping it up and that's all that can be said about land I own a house in the country with some land of course attached to you it's about 1,500 acres I believe but I don't depend on that for my real income as far as I can make out only the poaches are the people who make anything out of it oh never mind we can tear that their profit afterward hmm you do have a tag now say Oh a girl with a simple other spoiled nature like Wendelin would probably be expected to reside in the country I own a house in Belgrave square but is left by the year two lady blocks of course I can get it back anytime I like at six months notice lady blossom I don't know how she goes about very little she said lady considerably advanced years nowadays that is no guarantee of respectability square one four nine the unfashionable side I knew there was some altered give me the fashion or the side what are your politics I'm afraid I really haven't done no I'm a liberal unionist student oh they can't just stories they dine with Dustin come in the evening at any rate well now two minor matters are your parents living I'm afraid I lost both my parents whoa there lose one pair mr. whether they may be regarded as a misfortune to lose both looks like carelessness but your father is evidently a man of some wealth was he born in what the radical papers called the purple Commerce did he rise from the ranks of the aristocracy really don't know the fact is Lady Bracknell I said I had lost both my parents it would be near the truth to say they seem to have lost me I don't really know who I am by birth I was well I was found found yes the late mr. Thomas Cardew a gentleman of very high image charitably can do disposition found me and gave me the name of Worthing because he happened to have a first-class ticket do worthy in his pocket at the time well I think is a please a sausage is a seaside resort where did the charitable gentleman who had a first-class ticket to this seaside resort somewhat large black leather handbag with handles to it did you send mr. James of Thomas cargo come across this ordinary handbag look romantic forestation it was given to him in mistake for his own Victoria Station yes the Brighton one so my people to buy what to tell me to be born or it's any rate rent in a handbag ordinary decencies of family life that reminds one of the greatest excesses of the French Revolution in a resume you know it that unfortunate movement led to in which the handbag was found a cloakroom at a railway station might serve to consider certain social indiscretions before now but it's hardly be regarded as an usher basis for a respected position and society may I ask you then what you just heard advise me to do I need hardly say that I would do anything the world to ensure Grendel is happiness I would suggest you make an effort to require wire some relations as soon as possible and to make every effort to produce at least one pairs of either sex before the season is quite over I don't see how I could possibly manage to do that I can produced a handbag at any moment I really think that should satisfy you Lady Bracknell me sir what is it I reckon we can dream of allowing our only daughter a girl brought up with the utmost care to do many into government form an alliance with a bottle [Music] five shake stop playing that das nicht own Haryana QLD didn't it go off all right old boy you don't be to say that Gwendolen refused you I know it's a way she has she's always refusing people I think it's most ill-natured ever Gwendolyn is right as a trivet as far as she's concerned we are engaged the mother is perfectly unbearable she's dog I am weight off the breath of his one she's a monster without being a myth which is rather unfair I beg your pardon now here I suppose I shouldn't talk about you oh not that way key for you my dear boy I love hearing my relations abused it's the only with them at all relations are simply a tedious pack of people who haven't the remotest knowledge about how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die is not sense it isn't you always want to argue about battle bubble dog you into this one talk about these well that is what things were originally made for but my word if I thought that I would shoot myself you don't think there's any chance of Gwendolyn becoming a comeback in about 150 years all women become like their mothers that's the tragedy no man does that's his is that clever Mike is true is any observation in civilized life should be I am sick to death of cleverness I can't go anywhere we're not meeting clever people nowadays everybody's 11 oddest thing is becoming absolute public nuisance I wish to goodness we had a few fools left of me how I should extremely like to meet them what do they talk about fools by the way did you tell Wendling the truth about your being Ernest in town and Jack in the country My dear fellow the truth isn't missile testing what tell us to a nice sweet refined girl what extraordinary ideas you have about touching me to woman the only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty and to someone else if she is playing that is noxus say you died of apoplexy I'll get rid of it within a week like a lot of people die of apoplexy quite suddenly don't think yes but it's hereditary My dear fellow it's the sort of thing that runs in families yeah much better say it's a bit too oh you are sure a severe chill isn't hereditary or anything of that time some poison isn't very well then I'll my poor brother our missus carried off suddenly impacts by a severe chip that gets rid of him but what about miss Cardew did she say she was a little too much interested in your poor brother Ernest what she feels lost a good deal that is quite all right Cecily is not a silly romantic girl I am glad to say she has got the capital appetite goes on long walks and pays no attention at all to her less us I would rather like to see Cecily I shall take very good care you never do she is excessively pretty and only just 18 does Gwendolyn know that you have an excessively pretty Ward who is only just 18 one doesn't just blow up these things option people grandpa a necessity off perfectly satin to become extremely great friends I bet you anything you like that within half an hour after they meet they will be calling each other sister women only call each other that after they call each other lot of other things first now I really must go and dress if we want to get good table at witnesses do you know it is nearly 7:00 it is always nearly 7:00 hungry I never knew you when you want well what's how would you after dinner shall we go to the theater oh no I love listening oh no I hate talking well shall we talk to the empire at 10 I can't stand there looking at things it's it's so silly well what shall we do nothing it's awfully hard work doing nothing how about don't mind work but there's no definite object of any kind Connie to know something bad particular to seek mr. wedding grave then I don't think I could allow this at home Algie you always adopt a strictly moral attitude you're not whipped it wouldn't have to do that Ernest we may never be married from the expression of my mom's face I've never never shall you pedants nowadays they any regard to what their children say to them the old-fashioned respect for the young is fast dying out what if it influenced I hated her mama I lost at the age of three but old there to make vendors from becoming men and wife and I made many someone else and may often nothing the story of your romantic origin as relates to me bye mama with unfreezing comments has naturally stead the deep of fibers of my nature your Christian name is irresistible fascination [Music] you're just the Albany I have what is your dress in the pantry the manor-house Walton Oh one day good thanks already you will let you see it to your camera dolly I will see you sad packs out yes sir a glass of sherry yes tomorrow then I'm going bumper I shall probably not be back till Monday you could put up my dress clothes the smoking jacket all the bun bears yes tomorrow be a fine day today it never is I do my test to give satisfaction sir thank you very thank you sir now there's a sensible intellectual girl if I never saw all the girls I ever cared for in my life what's another you've some use that oh I'm just anxious about Bunbury that's all if you don't watch out your poor friend battery will get you into serious scrape something I love scripts they're the only things that are never serious oh that is nonsense you never took anything but not since nobody ever tells [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Cecily sesame sure is such a utilitarian occupation as to the watering of flowers is driving bulletins duties in your work especially with intellectual pleasures await you your German grandmas on the table they don't you like German it isn't it all of the coming language they know perfectly well that it'll play my journal every way he'll a particular stress on your German as he was leaving for town yesterday North German serious sometimes you seem serious that I think he cannot be quite well enjoys the best developed and this gravity of demeanor is especially to be commended in one so competitively young as he is I know no one who has a higher sense of duty and responsibility yes that's why he looks a little bald with the three of us are together Leslie I'm surprised at you mr. Worthing has many troubles in his life I know merriment and triviality would be out of place in his conversation you must remember that constant anxiety about his unfortunate brother young man his brother permission Kolchak would allow that unfortunate young man his brother to come visit us sometimes we might have a good influence over him I know you certainly would miss freedom you know German and geology and things that found in nerds and I'm very much I do not think that even I could produce an effect on character that according to his own brothers and machinists irretrievably weak and vacillating indeed I am sure you desire to reclaim him I am not fond of this motor mania of turning back people extra good at a moment's notice as a man so so letting rip Cecily you must put away that diamond see why you should keep a diary at all I keep a diary in order to into all the wonderful secrets of my life if I didn't write them down into public you get told about them memory my dear sister me is a diary that could also carry about with us yes what did you usually Chronicles things that have never happened what would impossible have happened I believe that memory is responsible for near all the three volume novels that the library sends us do not speak slightingly of the three-volume novel Cecily I wrote one myself did you really need to read them how wonderfully clever you are they help you do not end happily they don't like novels that end happily they depress me so much but it seems very unfair and what you're not will ever publish unless and I use the word in since of lost or misplaced to your work these speculations are profitless this is indeed are we this morning miss prissom only trust you are well miss Ouiser head's just been complaining of a slight headache I think it would do her so much good to have a short stroll through the park with you dr. chasuble I know that but no no we do not expect until Monday afternoon yes he usually likes to spend his Sunday in London he is not one of those whose sole enjoyment is pleasure like that unfortunate young man his brother seems to be drawn from the pagan authors I should see both know their debut song oh I think I will have a stroll with you I find I have a headache after all and I won't like do it good with pleasure miss prism with pleasure we go as far as the schools in back that would be delightful Cecily you will read your political economy in my absence the chapter on the fall of the rupee you may omit it is somewhat too sensational even these metallic problems have their melodramatic side geology mr. Ellis wedding has just driven over from the station he is brought his luggage with him mr. way before that company W hookah chicks brother did you tell him but mr. Bertie was in town oh yes miss he seemed very much disappointed I mentioned that you and this prisoner in the garden he said he was anxious to speak with you privately for amendments mr. earnest aware they need to come here to talk to the housekeeper about to groom for him yes you've never met any really wicked person before just like everybody else [Laughter] sure you are understand strange misunderstanding I'm not little in fact and more than usually tall for my age but I am your cousin Cecily you I see from your card our uncle Jack's brother my cousin Ernest if you are not then you've certainly been deceiving us in a very inexcusable matter I hope you've not believe you double life pretending to be wicked and really being food all the time but without the Apocrypha of course I have been rather reckless now you mention the subjects I've been very bad around small way though I'm sure it must be very pleasant afternoon is it terrible disappoint I'm obliged to go out the first train Monday morning I have a business appointment that I'm anxious to miss the point is in London where they know of course how important it is not to keep a business engagement if one wants to retain any sense of the beauty of lies still I think you are too late tell Uncle Jack arrives I know he's anxious to talk to you about two emigrating about my work you'll emigrate Dean he's not to buy your outfit I certainly wanted that Jack by my office there's no taste in neckties it's all you'll be requiring neckties Uncle Jesse said you taught straighter Australia that's Enid I said it dinner on Wednesday night that you had better choose between this world the next world in Australia well the accounts I've heard of Australia and the next world encouraging no this world is good enough for me cousin Cecily yes but don't you look good enough for it well I'm afraid I'm not that that is why I want you to reform me you might make that your mission if you don't mind cousin Cecily well would you mind my reforming myself this afternoon it is rather quixotic of you but I think you should drive I will I feel better already I should remember that one is going to eat an entire new life under five bigger in husam meals thank you I never have any appetite unless I have a first [Music] no I'd sooner have a Burroughs why because you are like a pink rose cousin Cecily miss prism never says such things in this prison is a short side of lady you were the prettiest girl I ever saw miss prism says it's all good look sauce now the sensible man would like to be you are too much alone dr. chasuble you should get married a misanthrope I can understand a woman through never logística phrase the precept as well as the practice of the church was distinctly against matrimony that is obviously the reason why the primitive church has not lasted up to the present day and you do not seem to realize their doctor that by persistently remaining single a matter converts himself into a permanent public temptation man should be more careful his very celibacy leads weaker vessels astray because I'm not equally attractive married majority can always be depended on right this can be trusted young women are 300 G culturally surprise we look for you to Monday afternoon I have returned sooner than I expected dr. chauncey boy I hope you are well mr. worthy does not be talking some terrible calamity my brother dead dead quite dead each two of the conservation of the way you were always the most generous and forgiving apprentice poor honest he had many faults but in this sad sad blow very sad indeed who are you with you in the end no he died abroad in Patras in fact I had a telegram last night from the manager of the Grand Hotel mentioned no no he expressed a desire to be buried in Paris in Paris I feel hardly put into any very serious state of mind at the last you would no doubt wish me to make some slight allusion to the tragic domestic affliction next Sunday my sermon on the meaning of the manner in the witness can be adapted to almost any occasion joyful or as in the present case distressing I have preached at harvest celebrations Christmas means confirmation on days of humiliation and festive days the last time I was in the Cathedral as a charity sermon on behalf of the Society for the Prevention of discontent among the upper orders the bishop was present was much struck by some of the analogies I drew that reminds me you mentioned Chris sings dr. chasuble I think you are you know hunted Christian alright I mean you are continually christening aren't you new Jesus I regret to say one of the mentors most constant duties in this parish I have often spoken to the cleric classes on the subject and they do not seem to know what lift is interested mr. worthy your brother was I believe unmarried was he not oh yes this is not for any child a doctor but I am very fond of children but no I would like to do anything about it is so changeable performed oh I tried about five if that would suit you perfectly perfectly a case of twins which occurred recently in one of my cottage is in your state or Jenkins the counter the most hard-working man oh I don't see much fun in being Christian alongside other babies it would be childish I do in disguise but you have a wonderful surprise for you could you make it in the dining room your brother says I haven't got a brother say that Uncle Jack deliver badly he may have behaved you in the past he's still your brother you couldn't be so heartless as to disown him how could we get in and you will shake hands with him weren't you this is joyful revelation to his loves his son returned seems to me my brother is in the tiny room I don't know what it all means I tell you that I'm very sorry for all the trouble I've given you life in the future nothing will induce me to shake his hand I think he's coming down here disgraceful fine he knows perfectly well why oh there is some good everyone telling me about his poor inflate friend mr. Bunbury very happy yes he told me all about mr. Bunbury miss terrible state of health Bunbury well and haven't talked to you but bumper Iman anything else it's enough to drive I'm perfectly frantic well I admit the fault was all on my side I must say that I find brother John's coldness to me peculiarly painful I expected a much more enthusiastic welcome especially considering that this is the first time that I have come here Uncle Jack if you don't shake hands with fairness I will never forgive you never forgive me well this is the last time I shall ever do it it is present is it not the she's so perfect the reconciliation you need to brothers together they will come with us miss prissom my little task of reconciliation is over you have to have a beautiful action today dear child let's not be premature in our judgments Algie you run stumble you must get out of this place at once I don't allow any buffering here but mr. earnest things in the room next to your cell I suppose that is alright what mr. earnest luggage sir I've unpacked it and put it in the room next to your own his luggage yes sir three portmanteaus a dressing case to hitboxes in their large lunch investment afraid I can't stay more than a week this time Merry Men what are the top cot at once mr. ah this is something we called back to town yes sir what a fearful liar your job I've not been called back to town at all hey yes you have heard anyone called me your duty as a gentleman calls you back my duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my pleasures and the smallest degree quite understand that well Cecily sir darling don't you like that I don't like it well I don't like your clothes what did you go on haven't changed it is perfectly childish to be in deep mourning for a man who is actually staying with you in your house for a week as it gets you are suddenly not staying with me for a whole week as a guest or anything else you have got to leave by the full five dream I certainly won't leave you so long as your if I were in mourning you would stay with me I suppose I would think it most unfriendly if you did it well will you go if I change my clothes yes if you are not too long about it I've never seen someone takes so long to dress for such a little result your vanity is ridiculous your conduct and outreach and your presses in my garden utterly absurd however you have got to leave with a 4/5 and I hope you had a pleasant journey back to town this barbering is you call it has not been a great success for you I think there's been a great success indeed I am in love with Cecily and that is everything but I must see her again before I go and make arrangements for another Bunbury came back to the roses I got to a temple Jack he's gone toward the dark art for me is he going to take you for a nice Drive he's going to send me away we've got to part I'm afraid so it's a very painful parting it is always painful party from people who one is new for a brief space of time yes it's an old friends one good in general equanimity it's even a momentary separation from anyone who one has just introduced its image Cecily I hope I don't offend you if I state quite openly and frankly that you seem to me to be in every way the absolute visible personification of absolute perfection don't freak miss does you credit if you allow me I will copy your locks in my diary do you really keep a diary I give anything to look at it man you see it is simply a very young girl's record to their own thoughts and impressions and consequently met for publication stop it didn't like to take you down for dictation I've reached absolute perfection you can go on and always speak fluently and not cop besides I do know how to spin a course ever since I first looked upon no wonderful and incomparable beauty I'm dare to love you wildly passionately devotedly hopelessly don't think you should tell me that you love me wildly passionately devotedly hopelessly hopelessly doesn't seem to make much sense stop it thankfully the Dark Arts is waiting sad tell it to come around next week at the same hour yes would be very annoying you're going to stay on until next week at the same hour oh I don't care about Uncle Jack I don't care for anyone in the world but you Cecily I love you you will marry me won't you engaged for the last three months last three months yes it will be three months on Thursday but how did we become engaged well ever since uncle Jack's first confessed to us that he had a younger brother who's very wicked and then you've course formed the chief topic of conversation between myself and miss prism and of course any man who was much talked about is always bear attractive what feels there must be something in him after all yes it was foolish of me but I fell in love with you darling but when was our engagement actually same on the 14th of February last worn out by your entire ignorant of my existence depends the match of one way or the other never a long struggle with myself I accepted you under this ditch [Music] this little ring in your name and this bangle but the love is not movies where I bought you this it's very pretty you've won the glue good taste earnest it slips years I've always given for you leading such a bad lives and this is the box it would take you all your dear letters but my own sweet sesame letters you need hardly remind me of that make you squat you concede it really that you broke to me when I broke off the engagement all so beautiful it so badly spell even now I can hardly read them without crying but what our engagements actually ever broken off it was gage with earnest request to do so the weather continues charming but why on earth did you break it on what did I turn no nothing at all I am very much hurt indeed to hear you broke it off says particularly when the weather was so charming hardly been a really serious engagement if it had not been written off at least once but I forgave you before the week was out and then I break off our engagement again will you Cecily I don't think I could now that we have actually met of course there's the question of your name yes of course mustn't laugh at me darling but it has always been a girlish dream of mine to love somebody by the name of Ernest it's a rather aristocratic name half of the chaps were getting a bankruptcy court called Algenol if my name was algae could you love me can I smile your character but I'm afraid to say that it cool not to give you my undivided attention your rector here is I suppose there the experience and all the practice of the rites and ceremonies of the church who yes dr. chasuble is most learned man he's never written a single book so you can imagine how much he knows must see my most important christening I mean her most important business I shan't be away more than half an hour considering we haven't engaged for the first time in this library it's so early when over in the direction of the rectory some time ago yes the lady and you can routine miss miss miss Fairfax I suppose one of the many good elderly women associated with Uncle Jack in some philanthropic work in London James like women you were interested in philanthropic work if I did hit forward yeah great let me introduce myself to you my name is Cecily Cardew cardio what's a very sweet name something tells me we're going to be great friends I like you already more than I can say my first impressions of people are never wrong nice of you to like me so much we've known each other and you always call me Gwendolyn who I am my father is Lord Bracknell you've heard of purple I suppose I don't think so outside family circle I'm glad to think so part is entirely a noon I think that as it should be the hope seems to me to be the proper sphere for man what a man begins to infect his domestic duties he becomes painfully effeminate does he know and I don't like that it makes me attractive deathly mama whose news on education are a Maccabee strict has brought me up to be extremely short-sighted in the heart of our system I'm very fond to be looked at you are here on a short visit I do - yeah really your mother no doubt or some other female relative of advanced years resides here also do me I have no mother nor in fact any relations in need my guardian but the assistance of Miss prism has the arduous task of looking after me no God yes I'm mr. Worthing's ward you never mentioned to really attend aboard secretive of him he grows more interesting I'll deny I liked you ever since I met you now that I know that you're mr. Worthing's I can't help expressing a wish that you are just older than you seem to me not quite to the area during an appearance in fact three to Quindlen I think that whenever anyone has anything unpleasant to say one should always be quite candid perfect assassin a I wish your 442 and more than usually language Ernest has a strong upright nature he is very soul of truth and honor this is not a possible distinction but even men of the noblest moral character are extremely susceptible to the physical charms of others martyr Mary lesson ancient history provides us with many most painful examples we're not so indeed history would be quite unreadable your pardon Gwendolyn but did you see earnest yes her but it's not mr. Ernest Worthing whose my god it is brother I'm afraid not without my daddy one should always have something sensational to read in the Train [Music] I'm suicide are excessive any disappointments to you but I'm afraid that it would distress me more than I can say dearest gwendolyn if it caused julie physical or mental anguish but i feel bound to point out that since n is proposed to you it changed it's not trapped in any foolish promise I shall consider it my duty to rescue women once and with a firm hand whatever entanglement after we are married to it on occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind it becomes a pleasure do you suggest to miss Fairfax that I attract earnest in an engagement I'll tell you this is no time to wear the shell mask of manners when I see a spade I call it a spin it is obvious that our social spheres have been wildly different yes usefulness yes as usual are there many interesting walks in the vicinity padhu yes the great many from the top of one of the hills cliffs by one can see five counties father cow to you I don't like that I hate crowds that's why you live in town quite a well-kept garden this is Miss Cod you - glad you like it miss Fairfax I had no idea yes flowers are as common here as people are in London personally I cannot understand how anybody manages to exist in the country it's anybody who's anybody does the country oh he's both me too yeah hey suppose this is what the newspapers call agricultural depression is it not the aristocracy of suffering very much from a text present may I offer you some tea miss Fairfax thank you testable give I'm high achievers not fashionable anymore kick or bread and butter bread and butter please cake is red see that the best houses nowadays [Laughter] but you have by disposition miss Cardew you may go to save nations of another woman there are by never deceived in such matters my interest repressions of people are in their oblique correct it seems to me miss Fairfax that I'm trespassing on your valuable time nous tout you of other coals of a similar character to make in the neighborhood they ask if you are engaged to be married to this young a little Cecily of course not what's gonna put such an idea into your pretty little head thank you you may there must be somebody the gentleman whose arm is at present around two weeks is my dear guardian mr. John what's young good heavens what could have put such an idea job do that go ahead you may I felt that there might be some slight air miss Cod you the gentleman who's now embracing you even my cousin mr. Rosen on Mill Creek Elgin I could be my it if I like I could deny anything if I like my name's Otto is John it has been John for years [Music] there's just missed o matic there's just one question I'd like to put to you where is your brother Ernest we are working he needs to be needed so it is of some importance to us where your brother and it is very painful for me to be forced to speak the truth it's the first time in my life I have ever been reduced to such a painful position and I'm really quite inexperienced in doing anything of the car I may tell you frankly that I have no brother honest I had no brother at all I never had a brother in my life and I certainly don't have this smallest intention of ever having one in the future rather a tool none did you never a brother of any kind never not even of any kind will hardly venture to cook after his death you men are safe cowardly hot they discuss the state of things is what you call binary I suppose yes what a perfectly wonderful barber it is wonderful son Barry I've ever had in my life well you have no right whatsoever to banbury yeah well that's absurd what is the right to buy Barry anywhere once uses every serious bungarus knows that sure he's fine bris good habits well one has to be serious about something if one wants to have an amusement in life I happen to be serious about wondering what on earth are you happy to be serious about I haven't the remotest idea about everything I should fancy you have such an absolutely trivial nature well the only smart satisfaction I have in this whole wretched business is that your friend Bunbury is quite exploded you won't be able to run down to the country quite as often as you used to do dear algae and a very good thing too you know brothers and little off-color isn't even jump you won't be able to disappear to London quite so frequently as your wiki custom was and not a bad thing either as for your conduct towards miss Cardew I must say that you're taking in a sweet innocent girl like that quite inexcusable now to mention the fact that she is my wallet no possible defense for your deceiving a clever brilliant there the experienced young lady like miss Fairfax to say nothing of the fact that she's my cousin I wanted to be gates of Gwendolen that is all I love her I simply want to be gates to Cecily I adore her there's certainly no chance of y'all ever married miss for you I see much likelihood Jacques was my business I talk about it it's very bold good to talk about one's business what do people like stockbrokers do that and then merely of dinner parties how you can sit there calmly eating muffins like we are in this horrible trouble I can't make out you seem to me to be perfectly populist well I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner the butter would probably get on my cuffs what should always eat muffins quite calmly it's the only way to eat them all when I'm in trouble eating is the only thing that controls me indeed when I was really great trouble this is one who knows me intimately will tell you I refuse everything it's a food and drink at the present moment I'm using muffins because I'm unhappy besides the muffins oh I love my cheek a habit I suppose of man but you just said [Music] I'm morning and I will naturally take the name of honest Gwendolyn to be christened if I like there's no evidence at all that I was ever present by anybody it is entirely different in your case you have been christened already yes but I've got me twisted for years no but yes but you have been christened what is the important thing what so you're not quite sure about the other hundred me twisting I must say it's quite dangerous so venturing on it now it might make you very unwell that's someone very closely connected you was nearly carried off this weekend parish by severe chill yes but you said the spill was again I wish you [Music] [Applause] [Music] yes but we will not be the best repeat not mr. Winton in your common sense is invaluable mr. monk we questioned why don't you pretend to be my Guardians brother in order that I may have the opportunity of meeting you this seems like an excellent answer if you can believe him but it does not affect the wonderful beauty of his answer in matters of grave importance style not sincerity is the vital thing mr. Worthing what extra needs you can you offer to me for pretending to have a brother was it in order that you might have the opportunity of coming to see me as mr. Moncrieff said his boys dilemma inspires absolute credulity give them yes honey new vegetables let's take that's what you're not traitor which of us should tell them the test is not a pleasant one couldn't we go to speak at the same time no an excellent idea I nearly always speak at this thing oh I am I am come here sit down sit down immediately hesitation of any kind of society of mental to carry out of this [Laughter] attractor of my job with sudden flight by her trustee may lose confidence that purchase by means of a small coin my mother had once and buy a luggage train her unhappy father I'm glad to say under the impression she's attending an unusually lengthy lecture by the university extension scheme early influencer a pilot in command considered wrong but God you must clearly understand that all communication between yourself and my part of a seat immediately from this moment on this point as an all-points I am firm I am engaged to be married to Wendell and Lady Bracknell you're nothing of the kind and now is because of Algernon songs against them may I in this house no here so he's well punished for his morbidity I mean Bunbury was found out the doctors found out that Bunbury would not live so we do some young person whose end my nephew was holding in a peculiarly unnecessary miss miss miss Cardew what my ward I'm in married I'm engaged to be married successfully aunt Augusta [Music] seems to be I know miss Cardew mrs. grant doctor of the late mr. Thomas Cardew a149 Bogard square south-west jujubee's park talking Surrey and this foreign fighter n be unsatisfactory three addresses always inspire confidence even in transness but what proof have I of the authenticity I have Catholic besides the cool guys of the period they are open to your inspection Lady Bracknell I've often seen serious errors in that documentation miss Audrey's family solicitors are Messrs Mockbee Markby and Markby I know that one of the mr. Bopp pieces occasionally to be seen at dinner parties so far I'm satisfied becoming with you Lady Bracknell I also have in my possession you will be pleased to hear Miss cardew's certificates are ready birth baptism whooping car registration a thousand pounds in the pretty child your dress is sadly simple much as nature might have thoroughly experienced french maid produces marvelous results in a very brief space of time I remember recommending one to young lady Lansing and three months time her own husband six months nobody knew yes justice I expected that a distinct possibility the weak points in our age arts want a principal and its want of profile style thoughtfully depends on the way the chin is worn if they were very high possibilities and sessom is the dearest sweetest prettiest girl I ever saw in my whole life and I don't give two pegs for social possibilities never speak disrespectfully of sty of society l-jalal only people who can't get into it do that nothing but his debts to depend on ahead no fortune of my own but I never bought a moment dreamed of Thank You Lady Bracknell and you may call me aunt Augusta for the future think you have to cast down I think the marriage and bitter take things quite soon Thank You aunt Augusta I myself am not in favor of long engagements they give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character depart now Lady Bracknell for interrupting you but I am this engagement is quite out of the question I am Miss cardew's Guardian and she cannot marry without my consent until she comes of age that consent I absolutely declined to give what Rose may I ask Algernon is an extremely I may almost say an ostentatious leads me very much to have to speak frankly to you Lady Bracknell about your nephew but the truth is I don't approve of his moral character at all my suspect him of being untruthful oh he's an absurd I fear there can be no possible depth about the matter this afternoon during my temporary absence in London on an important question of romance he obtained admission to my house by me so the false pretence of being my brother he drank I've just been informed by my mother an entire pint bottle appears you wet Route 89a wine I was especially sorry for myself [Music] continuing his disgraceful deception he succeeded during the course of the afternoon in alienating the affections of my only ward he subsequently stay to tea and devoured every single puppet what man what makes his conduct all the more heartless it's the fact that he was very well aware from the fast that I have no brother that I never had and that I don't have any intention of having a brother not even of any kind I told him so myself distinctly yesterday afternoon mr. body after careful consideration I've decided entirely to overlook my nephew's conduct to you extremely kind of you lady back my own decision however is unalterable I'd be kind to give my consent oh well actually only 18 but to always admit to 20 at evening party didn't feel right to make some alteration no women should ever be completely honest about her age calculating 18 admitting to 20th evening parties well my dear it will be soon that you will be coming of age and free from the restraints of tutelage so I don't think your Guardians permission is a matter of any importance Thank You Prince boy for interrupting you again lady rekall but I think it's only fair to inform you that according to the terms of her grandfather's will mr. GU does not come legally age until she is 35 I don't think there's any great objection 35 is a very attractive age London societies both women of the iceberg of their own free choice for me 35 years she's been 35 ever since she arrived at the age of 40 you mentioned and she is a peasant there would be a large accumulation of property LG could you wait for me till I was 35 of course I could you know I could yes I felt it instinctively but I don't think I could wait all that time I hate waiting even for five minutes for anybody it always makes me rather cross not punctual myself I know but I like punctuality in another way to be varied went out of the question what are we to do Cecily we don't know mr. Moncrieff mr. Berman in his Miss Cardew States positively that she cannot wait until she's 35 every mark I am bound to say seems to me to display a certain impatient nature I would beg of you to reconsider your decision that's my dear lady the matter is entirely in your own hands the moment you consent to my marriage to gwendal I will most gladly allow your nephew to form an alliance with my ward you know that what you propose is out of the question then a passionate celibacy is celibacy is all but any one of us can look forward to now do not apologies for himself oh yeah to lose five trays already to comment on the platform which is wasted your time and money to understand miss prism has been waiting for me in the best free miss prism yes Lady Bracknell I got my Gucci jointer pray and I would you continue for a moment this matter may prove to be a vital importance to know retinol in myself is this miss prism a female of repellant aspect remotely connected with education she is the most cultivated of ladies very picture of respectability oh it's obviously the same person position she holds in your hollow soul I am a celibate madam miss prism later at the hospital last three years been Miss cardew's the steam governess and valued companion I must see her at once let her be sent for I told you expect me to bet straight yeah Kevin I've been making them you've won our reporters here prism prison where is that baby 28 years ago you left low brightness House number 104 upper Grosvenor Street in charge of a parole violator that contained a baby of the male sex you never returned several weeks later after the elaborate investigations of the Metropolitan Police the perambulator was located standing alone in a distant corner of Bayswater it contained a manuscript of a three-volume novel I'm unusually revolting sentimentality but the baby was not bad rhythm baby the case of ease of the morning of the day you mentioned I prepared as usual to take the baby out in its perambulator I had old and capacious handbag which I intended in a moment of mental abstraction which I can never forgive myself I deposited the manuscript in the bassinet but where's your handbag this is a method no small importance to be this person I insist for sewing heavily I cannot begin to suspect up to ten people I need not tell you that in bad Lee's of high position strange coincidences are not supposed to occur we're not considered the thing any kind they are always vodka [Music] miss prism is this the handbag examine it carefully before you speak the happiness of over one life depends on awesome oh yes yes injuries received through the upsetting of a Gauss treat all of us and yeah the writing is sustained from the explosion of a temperance beverage forgotten in a relative extravagance I had them put there the bag isn't affably mind I'm delighted to have it so unexpectedly restored to me it has been a great inconvenience being without more which we spoke to you the dis handbag I was the baby you please did it yeah yes like do not deny that is a serious blow but after all who has the right to cost a stone against wonder what repentance wipe out an act of folly why should it be one law for men and another not for women I forgive you [Music] there is the lady who can tell you who you Lady Bracknell I need to see me Chrisitan but would you kindly inform me who I am I'm afraid the news I have to give you not all together please you you are the son of my poor sister mrs. bong treif and consequently Elgin arms elder brother how could you ever have doubted that I have a brother it's not accessible my unfortunate brother miss prissom my unfortunate brother Gwendolen my unfortunate brother Algie you have to treat me with more respect in the future you hasn't ever behaved to me like infront that your life well.tell today oh boy I admit though I did try my best however out of practice I was all you once is your Christian name now that you've become good heavens I quit forgotten that point your decision on the on my name is irrevocable I suppose I never change [Music] once aunt Augusta a moment at the time what miss prism left me in the head had been christened already every luxury that money could buy including christening had been lavished on you by your father doting parents then I was christened that is sound what name was i given let me know the last as you were the eldest son you were naturally christened after your father yes but what was my father's first name but I have no doubt he had one was eccentric but that was in the later years and as a result of the Indian climate and marriage and indigestion and other things at that time to recollect my father's Christian name was my dear boy we were never even on speaking terms he died when I was one year old his name would a panda on the list of the period I suppose aunt Augusta the general was a man of peace except in his domestic life study general Christian names my name is [Music] Wendell it is a terrible thing for a man to find out that all his life he has been speaking nothing but the truth can you forgive me Gwendolyn at last my nephew you're displaying signs of triviality Oh on the contrary aren't accustomed I've now realized for the first time in my life the vital importance of Being Earnest [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] for heaven's sake stop playing that das Nicktoons already on acuity [Music]